I've thought a lot about whether to delete this blog, and I've decided not to.
Not because I think I’ll need it again. But because I want this post to stay here, as my last post and the first thing people see when they come to visit.
When people told me the age old classic ‘things get better ’ I always used to laugh. Like sure, maybe for other people, but not for me. And I’m not going to preach at you. But I want you to know, as someone who had their last therapy session yesterday, it’s possible for anyone to get better. I’m not going to lie, I’m scared. The prospect of managing my mental health alone scares me. But after years of psychologists, I finally feel like I’m making progress. I’m 114 days clean, and I go out into the world today with tools that I have helped develop, with the help of my psychologist, for when bad times arise, because I acknowledge that life is a roller coaster and things are bound to be up and down. But I can honestly say I hit rock bottom, and I can only go up from here. This is turning into an essay so I’m just going to say one more thing. My psychologist told me this, and it’s really stuck with me: There’s a difference between a lapse and a relapse. A lapse is a slight bump in the road, and everyone has them. It’s when maybe things have been shaken up, but as long as you hold your head up high it will past. It’s not square one, and you haven’t failed. You can still rise above it. My name is Gabby and I have depression. I don’t really think you would classify me as 'cured’; I still have a whole hell of a lot of growing to do, but I know that I’m determined to never end up back where I was. Stay strong lovelies. You are worth it.
