The Empowered Life Blog

Motivation | Inspiration | Success for entrepreneurs with Master Performance Coach and NLP Trainer Teri Holland

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Everyone wants the world to be a better place but the problem is that everyone is waiting for someone else to make it better. "Why don't THEY do something about this?" If you want the world to be a better place, then be better. The work starts with you. The change starts with you. Be better. Do better. Be at cause for your life, your experience and stop being at the effect of someone or something outside of you. See, as long as the problem is outside of you, as long as it's "their fault", you can't do a damned thing to change it. Get it? If it's not your problem, you can't fix it. Take responsibility for your life. Be at cause. Because then you can do something about it.

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What's Your Story?

Imagine if success stories sounded like this...

"Walt Disney wanted to open an amusement park. He went to the bank and they said 'sounds good' and wrote a cheque. The end" No, he was rejected 302 times. 

 Or 

 "Oprah wanted to be on TV. She went to the local news station and said "I want to be a TV reporter". They said 'great! Let's get you started!' The end " No, she was told she was too ugly to be on TV. 

 Or 

 "Micheal Jordan wanted to play basketball. He tried out for the high school basketball team and made the team. The end" No. He was cut from the high school basketball team. 

 Or

 "Steve Jobs wanted to build computers. So he did. Investors immediately saw the opportunity and gave him all the money he needed. He built a huge successful company. The end". No. He struggled to find investors and to make a profit. Then after building the business, he was fired was his own company. Struggled to create another one and was eventually rehired at Apple. 

 Or

 "____(your name)____ wanted to build an empire. So She / he did. The end" No... that would be boring. You're building your story! 

 The end.

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Are you playing to not lose? Or are you playing to win?

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How The Wrong Motivation Could Negatively Affect Your Business.

What are you focusing on? This is one of the most important questions you could answer for yourself.

You see, we are motivated by either toward motivators or away from motivators. So what do I mean by that? Well, when you’re motivated toward something, it means that you’re moving towards what you want. And when you’re motivated away from what you don’t want, it means your attention has to be focused on what you don’t want.

This is the problem.

Let's use money as an example. So, someone might say they’re motivated to make more money because they want to buy their dream home and they want to be a millionaire, or whatever. Now, those are pretty much towards motivators. At least they sound that way so far. But what if they say “it’s because I don’t want to be poor.” They’re motivated to make more money because they don’t want to be poor. Or, maybe they say “I want to make more money because I want to have enough to get by” That’s moving away from what they don’t want which is poverty or not having enough.

Whenever someone is talking about what they want or what’s important to them in a certain area of life, (in this example, what's important to them about making more money) and they use the word “don’t”, or any negatives, or if there’s a comparison, that’s a pretty good clue that it’s an away from motivator. And this is where it becomes a problem.

Now, you might be thinking “why is this a problem? They’re still motivated, so what’s the difference? Why does that matter if it’s towards or away?”

Well, if you’re motivated toward something, you will continually be motivated towards it until you get it. It’s powerful. When you’re motivated away from what you don’t want, the further away you get from it, the less motivated you are. As soon as you start moving away from what it is you don’t want, the motivation decreases.

I’ll give you another example. Let’s talk about someone who’s working to release weight. You probably know someone or you’ve heard of someone, (or maybe you are someone) who at some point in the past may have tried out a diet and it worked for a bit and then they lost motivation fell off track and went right back to eating the old way, and following the old habits, until they got motivated to try again and maybe tried a different fad diet or maybe the same one, it doesn’t matter. Then they started going to the gym again, started doing the things that they needed to do, until they started to see some results again, got a little more comfortable, lost their motivation and repeated the cycle all over again.

This is really typical of someone who is motivated away from. In this example they may be motivated away from obesity or away from buying plus-sized clothes. Maybe they’re motivated away from feeling tired and sluggish, or they’re motivated away from what they see in the mirror.

As many of you know, I used to work in the fitness industry. So I know that a lot of personal trainers and people in that industry use away from motivators to try to motivate their clients. And this is no fault on them. They don’t know what they don't know. They think they’re motivating them correctly, but really what’s happening is that they say, things like, “you need to lose weight because you don’t want to have high blood pressure”, or “you need to lose weight because you don’t want to have a heart attack or cancer,” whatever it is. And they think those are strong motivators, but the second that person starts to feel a little healthier, their blood pressure comes down, their blood sugar normalizes, they can walk up the stairs with ease, they lose the motivation. So it’s not a sustainable motivation. It doesn’t move them forward all the way to the goal.

That’s the problem with away from motivators. And that’s the typical cycle.

The person’s motivated

Then as they make progress and get further away from the thing they don’t want, they lose their motivation, and we call that burn out. That’s when burnout happens. They lose interest and they lose motivation. They don’t feel like doing it anymore.

Then they create a drama to become motivated again.

In the case of the weight loss, the person will become motivated again when the doctor tells them their blood pressure is too high again. Or when their pants are too tight again. Or when they’re out of breath walking up the stairs again. Whatever it is, and then they’ll have a little freak out about it, they’ll get upset, they’ll get motivated, they’ll start walking, they’ll start eating better, they’ll do the things that they know they need to do until they start to feel better and then they fall off again.

Here's a fun fact: You have ninety thousand thoughts in a day. Ninety thousand! Give or take a few. How many of those do you think are towards what you want and how many are away from? Do you have any idea? Because you’d be surprised at how many people are motivated away from what they don’t want and they don’t even realize that they’re focusing on what they don’t want. Until they work with someone like me and we figure out that’s what’s going on.

And that’s why they’re not reaching their goals.

So, it’s really important to be motivated towards what you do want and not away from what you don't want.

How do you do that? We start by letting go of past negative emotions and limiting decisions during the Personal Breakthrough process.

Imagine how much more productive you and your team will be when all of you are moving toward your goals will laser sharp focus. What would that do for your results?

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3 Key Ingredients for Success

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I made something to help all of those with weight loss goals right now. It's a guided self hypnosis for weight release and increased metabolism. This week you can download it off my site for only $14.

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The Powered Morning Routine This video is from my Facebook live video series: 100 videos in 100 days. Subscribe to my Facebook page to watch them live here: https://www.facebook.com/pg/terihollandcoaching/videos/ DOWNLOAD: get your free copy of The Powered Up Morning Routine here: https://teriholland.leadpages.co/powered-up-morning-routine/ ABOUT TERI: Teri helps entrepreneurs and professionals to move from where they are to where they want to be in a short period of time. Teri is a Trainer of NLP, Hypnotherapy, and Time Line Therapy® and a Master NLP Coach. For more in depth training and coaching, book a complimentary session here: www.teriholland.ca listen to The Empowered Life Podcast at www.theempoweredlifeshow.com Read The Empowered Life Blog at: www.theempoweredlifeblog.com Follow Teri: www.fb.com/terihollandcoaching www.twitter.com/terihcoaching www.instagram.com/teriholland

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If You Want the World to be a Better Place...

When I was a kid, I had a sleepover at a friends house. I remember we were sitting at her kitchen table, talking with her dad.

I can't remember what had happened in the world that led to the conversation, but we were telling him that the world was a terrible place with horrible things happening.

He said to us "if you want the world to be a better place, believe it already is and it will be".

That stuck with me and now, through NLP, I understand how this works. Our minds take in 11,000,000 bits of information per second and we can only retain 136 bits. We decide on the 136 bits through our internal filters and how we generalize, delete and distort information.

This 136 bits determines our reality. If you're picking out the negative 136 bits, you will believe the world is a terrible place. If you pick out the positive 136 bits, you will be the world is a wonderful place.

It comes down to what you're focusing on.

This all happens unconsciously. So if you want to change your thinking so that you can have a better experience of life, and therefore get better results in life, the work needs to happen at the unconscious level.

This is the work I do through NLP, Hypnotherapy and Time Line Therapy®. Which 136 bits are you focused on each second? What is creating your reality?

[teriholland]

You have 90,000 thoughts per day. Give or take a few. 95% of those thoughts are repetitive thoughts you keep playing over and over in your mind like a broken record. The thoughts you hold in your mind, determine your behaviour and your behaviour determines your results. You will create in your life what your mind is focused on. If those 85,500 thoughts are focused on what you don't want, ie; "I don't want to be broke", you will create the thing you don't want. When we change what the mind is focused on, you will create the results you want. The key is that this change takes place at the unconscious level. All behaviour is unconscious and to change it, and get the results you want, you need to work with the unconscious mind. This is the power of #NLP #Hypnotherapy and #TimeLineTherapy®, to create lasting change at the unconscious level in short period of time.

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Why Let Go of Negative Emotions

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Why Set Resolutions?

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How to Not Fail Your New Years Resolutions This Year

[Watch the video version of this https://youtu.be/QHEkMUsq_5E ]

We hear the same messages every year... 

“Resolutions don’t work”

“__% of resolutions fail”

“Don’t set resolutions”

I have a theory. My theory is that resolutions fail because every year we’re told they fail. Let’s change that story. 

First of all, what is a resolution? The dictionary tells us that a resolution is firm decision to not do something. 

When we resolve to do (or not do) something, it is like carving your intention in stone. A resolution means that you are changing your standards. Drawing the line in the sand and you won’t accept anything else. 

But that’s not how we, as a society, set resolutions. 

Resolutions today have become nothing more than a wish with about as much staying power as blowing out the candles on your birthday cake. It’s like blowing out the candles on the world birthday cake and then a week later forgetting you had ever wished for that thing. 

And of course this is how we do it. We’re told every year that we’ll fail at our resolutions so why even bother? 

Because it makes sense to. 

Think about it. It’s the start of a new year. What better time to reflect on the year that has past and to set intentions and outcomes for the year to come?

There are 3 problems with how we set resolutions:

1) Most of us set resolutions as carelessly as we do our birthday wishes and once the smoke as cleared from the candles, the wish is long forgotten. 

2) We set resolutions we think that we “should” set. I call them “Should Goals” in my Goal Buster series. “I should lose weight”, “I should work harder” “I should...” you get the point. 

3) Your resolution is usually focused on what you’ll need to sacrifice and not what you’re going to gain. For example, if your resolution is to lose weight... who really wants to lose something? Who really wants to give up all their favourite foods?

So how do we change it? 

We change it by setting real resolutions. What do you want to resolve for 2017? 

Imagine for a moment that it is December 31, 2017. Who are you? What have you accomplished? How do you feel? How is your life different from 1 year ago? This is your desired outcome. 

Now, are you willing to do whatever it takes to get there? 

How to set better Resolutions that Stick!

1) Visualize the outcome that you WANT

2) Set resolutions you WANT- stop “shoulding” on yourself

3) Focus on what you have to gain by getting what you WANT

4) Believe you can have what you WANT

5) Accept nothing less than what you WANT

Do we need to set resolutions?

Everything in the universe is either expanding or retracting, growing or shrinking and that includes us. Setting resolutions, or goals is movement. It means that you are moving towards something and that you are growing. Better to grow than to shrink. 

If you don’t set goals, you’ll never fail. But who wants to succeed at nothing? 

Now the question becomes, how do we achieve those goals? Book your complimentary 30 minute coaching session with me at www.teriholland.ca

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What is Happiness?

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What are your TRUE Values? They might not be what you think they are.

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Check out the latest episode of The Empowered Life

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How Much “Self-Care” Is Too Much?

[if you’d rather listen to the podcast version of this, click here...]

Let’s talk about Self Care. Why are we talking about self care? Because there seems to be a trend I’ve been noticing of entrepreneurs using self care as an excuse to avoid work.

Now, let’s be clear. We all know that self care is a good thing. An important thing and we must take care of ourselves. I mean, I think I can assume that we all agree on this? Because you cannot give from an empty cup. 

You must take care of yourself in order to fulfill your purpose and do the work you need to do. 

So what I am NOT saying is to stop talking care of yourself. What I am saying is don’t let that become your excuse to not take care of your business. Cool? Good. 

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s really talk about self care. 

“Self Care” seems to have become synonymous for “lazy” or “procrastinating”. There, yes, I said it. I know that’s not going to be a popular statement in some circles but it’s true. 

I work with many entrepreneurs and professionals and this comes up time and time again. And I have to ask “how much self care do you think you need?” Because it seems to me that if you’re business is slow and you're struggling to get clients and make money, it seems to me that the most important thing should be focusing on growing the business. Am I wrong? And if you’re not that busy, it seems that self care should be a non-issue because you have plenty of time to sleep, relax, go to the gym etc. 

When self care needs to become more of a priority is when the business is thriving and the entrepreneur needs to become conscious of making time for self care. But please, do not tell me you need a “self care day” to lay around in your pyjamas watching netflix and drinking coco when you haven't made any money that week and you haven't put in the work to create anything either. 

Here’s another thing... laying around in your pyjamas all day is, in my opinion, not self care. It’s being lazy. Let’s call it what it is. And it’s ok to have a lazy day once in awhile, but let’s be honest about what it is and not try to glamourize it by calling it “self care”. And I can understand why someone would want to call this “self care” because who wants to admit feeling lazy when they're trying to create an image of a powered-up entrepreneur?

To me self care, is eating right, exercise, taking care of ones mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health and FINANCIAL health. You see, so many people in taking about self care focus on the mental and emotional but neglect the physical and financial side of self care. True self care involves taking care of the body and all of it’s needs including proper nutrition, and regular exercise and it also includes taking care of ones finances. 

Financial health? Some of you may be wondering about that one and here’s why I include it. I can see a direct correlation between financial abundance and health. When you have money, you have access to better food, better healthcare, and things like regular massage, dental work, chiropractic care, acupuncture etc. Now, I’m not saying you have to be a billionaire, but if you have a little extra money, it’s easier to take care of yourself. 

So yes, taking care of your finances and making money is a form of self care. 

So what are these entrepreneurs doing when they’re overly “self-caring” (yes, I made that term up...)

They’re avoiding! They’re using self care as a distraction away from what they need to be doing. 

Why are they avoiding it? A number of reasons:

Fear of rejection

Fear of failure

Fear of success

Fear of the unknown

Being comfortable where they are

Of course there could be more reasons (ahem: excuses) for this but these, I think are the main ones. And of course there is also, good old procrastination. 

So if you think this might possibly be you, then perhaps it’s time to take a good, honest look at yourself and ask “How much ‘self care’ do I really need and why?”

Because I think, if you’re eating right, exercising regularly, meditating, getting the occasional massage, spa treatment, mani/pedi as needed, taking time to enjoy a good book, or a meal with a friend, etc... then it seems to me that you should be able to still run your business and not make “self care” a reason to skip out on working. 

At the end of the day, yes, you do need to take care of yourself to run your business, but you also need to have discipline in taking care of business. 

If you need some help in finding the balance, click here and book a 30 minute Clarity Call with me. 

Now, go take care of yourself and your business ;)