Okey, I am in such a state (or should I say shape?) that I, kind of, desperately need to use someone for character development. Like, I will use you, get what I want and leave. And I will ask for that and start with an honest request and conversation. That's it. Any volunteer?
Like, let's help each other, spend time with each other, grow with each other, hug, hold hands or anything we will arrange or need. Loneliness sucks. Like, this will end one day. If you at some point will finally find love, you will go freely to this person. Or I will go if I will find.
We can establish whatever relationship we want. No one has to know. Any boundaries we wish. Any actions and moments we want. Any projects we will set. Just, gosh. Sometimes you just need other beating heart next to you. Without attraction. Without thinking about common future. Without being judged. Or considered if I am good enough and if this is really what someone wants.
Just someone to be there. To feel safe. To take care of. To bring together all the broken pieces. Me for you, you for me. Someone to have your back, hold you close. I will help you. You will help me.
Sometimes friendship is just not enough.
Sometimes romantic/eros/ludus love is something you can not find. Or feel. Or you can not have cause someone abandoned you and now you just sit there with broken heart too scared to get involved in sth with someone new. And for healing you need trust and honesty. You need to get better to start sth new. You need to gain strenght. And sometimes you can not do that by yourself.
Well. Yeah...
