hope in work, joy in leisure

it's ethan 🐀 mutuals only blog ‼️

[tesghosterone]

ethan/essi aka rpfofficial. welcome to my domain. i love you x

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[tesghosterone]

and i dont even necessarily wholeheartedly mean all this and this is mostly just coming to the surface cos im bored and a lot of it is leftover from april/may when i was just generally doing awfully in life in general and was channeling my limited energy and will to live into being petty and bitter online. and im better now so i'll get over it in like 2 hours. but also ........................................................................... well nothing else actually there's better things to do with my time. for example write the stories i want to see in the world and have fun with my friends who i agree with and when i dont its ok and fun because we like each other

[tesghosterone]

and tbf the thing that was pissing me off/confusing me the most a couple months ago regarding the way people were posting abt ntbts and the headcanons and analysis people were coming up with that felt so far removed from my understanding of the franchise. well it pisses me off less and truly thog dont caare and ive maybe even come around to embracing some of that analysis and finding it fairly interesting to engage with. since there are jokes and interactions and moments in the text that u can lift from and make much deeper than they need to be and theres nothing wrong with that. inherently. but im still a massive hater and there are still certain trends i see that range from nothingburger to baffling to incredibly annoying. and certain people and their posts going around that i just really dont like. and i know thats mostly #myproblem. but also with something this special and fun and weirdly personal to me sometimes it really bugs me that people are engaging with it in ways that dont make sense to me. like here's this weird strange niche bizarre piece of media that is simultaneously limited in its textual form and scope but unlimited in the things you can come up with for it and ways you can engage with it and the humour is specific and the references are specific and the character archetypes are two-dimensional but also rich and full of possibilities and interpretations. and it attracts a fairly small group of unusual people. what do you mean they dont all have the same or similar approach to it and actually a seemingly very large proportion of them want to treat it like something that it isn't . we all have our own personal special interpretations and understandings and versions of ntbts and i understand that. but why cant everyone's align with mine ☹️

[tesghosterone]

there's this one post ive seen a couple times that's like "theres two types of fanfiction, the fanfiction i like and the fanfiction that has nothing to do with me" and i respect that attitude and i wish i cared slightly less about fanworks but also i have a vested interest in everything and all of it has something to do with me and while im not going to bother anyone involved if theres something that i dont like or dont get going on in the fan club of the thing i like then im going to be annoyed and complain. mostly to myself or a few friends but yes sometimes i also have to blog about it incredibly vaguely and opaquely and then deleting the post a week later

[tesghosterone]

i like to participate and play and have fun but i also like to harbor petty grudges and dislikes against people ive never even spoken to

[tesghosterone]

i logged back in here to complain a bit but after drafting and deleting several posts i realised my heart's not in it. but rest assured im still annoyed by the same people i was annoyed by 2 months ago

[dustdotorg]

sometimes you will see a joke circulate within a fandom and at first it's all fun and games but then the slow and terrible realization starts to seep in that this will become in fact a widely-accepted way to read a specific situation between characters that were subject of said joke and there is nothing you can do about it but to watch the horrors unfold in real time

[tesghosterone]

i logged on to complain but tbh i dont careeeeee. i just watched f for fake (1973) and it was legitimately awesome i love movies. i love editing. i need to edit forever (guy has only made 1 edit all year)

[tesghosterone]

sometimes hundreds of people band together to completely flatten and distort and misunderstand something you are into and you just have to sit there and watch as they play around and laugh and frolic with the bloating corpse of what you love dearly. and they call it fandom

[headworldofficial]

[micahdotgov]

i heard he even got blown up in the top left corner of the lgbtq museum which is famously used for lgbtq lovemaking

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[tesghosterone]

i don't think there was anything wrong with roald amundsen he was just a guy with borderline personality disorder who dedicated his life to his autistic special interest and got what he wanted from it and im happy for him

[tesghosterone]

no i don't think that's a good idea. Remember the deer

[micahdotgov]

i would like to talk to the owner of micahdotgov? is the manager in. is he nice

he's a bit busy right now but i know him and he's very nice and also incredibly funny and charismatic and generally lovely to be around. and modest too :)

[micahdotgov]

i heard something happened at the lgbtq museum

[micahdotgov]

im your biggest fan

[lennons]

Bruce Springsteen and Clarence Clemons at the Capital Centre, 1980