What time is it? DRUNKEN TEXTS TIME~

Texts From Last Night + Adventure Time = ???? Not Very Safe For Work texts within, you have been warned.

[texts-from-ooo]

(420):

I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?

[texts-from-ooo]

(+44):

I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes

[texts-from-ooo]

(419):

please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation

[texts-from-ooo]

(216):

Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits

[texts-from-ooo]

(203):

What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?

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(505):

She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.

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(937):

I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.

[texts-from-ooo]

(402):

Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.

(779):

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.

[texts-from-ooo]

(406):

That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.

[texts-from-ooo]

(307):

"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.

[texts-from-ooo]

(954):

I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else

[texts-from-ooo]

(256):

I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.

(1-256):

I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them

(256):

FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT

[texts-from-ooo]

(807):

Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.

[texts-from-ooo]

(949):

Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.

[texts-from-ooo]

How do you number your texts?

The numbers next to the image text are supposedly area codes, if that's what you mean. All the texts i use come from the TFLN site.

(Also, to everyone out there: Apologies for the update gap! Working on a new batch just now. Thank you for being so patient. <3 )

[texts-from-ooo]

(225):

I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life