Texts From MgRonald

The strange bastard child between Texts From Last Night and Hataraku Maou-sama!

[textsfrommgronald]

(248):are you still at the devil's house?

Thanks to missbluewallpaper

[textsfrommgronald]

(248):Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with

Thanks to missbluewallpaper

[textsfrommgronald]

(425):It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"

Thanks to missbluewallpaper

[textsfrommgronald]

(970):Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?

Thanks to missbluewallpaper

[textsfrommgronald]

(307):I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.

Thanks to  missbluewallpaper

[textsfrommgronald]

(703):If i come over, it means nothing

Thanks to missbluewallpaper

[textsfrommgronald]

(919):What are we going to do tonight?

(704):What we try to do every night. Take over the world

Thanks to missbluewallpaper

[textsfrommgronald]

(209):dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity

(1-209):nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all

[textsfrommgronald]

(514): you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes

[textsfrommgronald]

Reminder that suggestions and submissions are always more than welcome!

[textsfrommgronald]

(314): shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help

[textsfrommgronald]

(313):

I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.

[textsfrommgronald]

(518):

I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands

[textsfrommgronald]

(618):

I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.

[textsfrommgronald]

(203):

i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat

[textsfrommgronald]

(734):

it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party

[textsfrommgronald]

(+44):

Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club