more d&d shitposting

[textsfromramsen]

Q: Hey, I was wondering if you could help me out.

Einar: Say no more. Here's a bunch of swords.

Q: Nope. Different thing.

[textsfromramsen]

Callie, attempting to fight someone: Prepare to hurt!

Callie: and I don’t mean emotionally, like I do!

[textsfromramsen]

Q: When you feel bad, you go into your room and scream as loud as you can for a minute or two, and then it's out of you. It's called catharsis.

[textsfromramsen]

Callie: Just once I’d like a childhood memory I don’t have to repress.

[textsfromramsen]

Vesuvius: Quid pro quo, Aes'cling.

Aes'cling: What does that mean?

Vesuvius: It means I'm pretentious.

[textsfromramsen]

Q: I haven't spoken to that person in over 10 years. What they did was unforgivable.

Obasi: You don't even remember, do you?

Q: They know what they did.

[textsfromramsen]

Q: I can explain.

Eldoran: Can you?

Q: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

[textsfromramsen]

Rigo: How can you eat when there’s a dead person right there?

Einar: What? Am I supposed to share?

[textsfromramsen]

Callie, lying next to Snorri who is asleep: Nice.

Snorri, still asleep: *cuddles closer to Callie*

Callie, holding back tears: N I C E

[textsfromramsen]

Einar: Going to meetings, writing stuff down. You love all that nerdy stuff.

Eldoran: Writing stuff down is nerdy? What do you do?

Einar: Forget stuff, like a cool person.

[textsfromramsen]

Eldoran: I personally don’t think it’s possible to come up with a crazier plan.

Obasi: We could attack them with hummus.

Eldoran: I stand corrected.

Obasi: Just keeping things in perspective.

[textsfromramsen]

Einar: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol and you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. It’s science.

[textsfromramsen]

Callie: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I would be excited just to have a bunk bed.

Q: …

Aes'cling: …

Q: I’m gonna tell her.

Aes'cling: Don’t you dare!

[textsfromramsen]

Ayron: What are all these dead bodies doing here?!

Einar: Honestly, not much.

[textsfromramsen]

Aes'cling: We can’t solve all our problems with murder!

Einar: How about just this one problem?

[textsfromramsen]

Callie: Wow, I need a drink.

Callie:

Callie: *pours apple juice into a shot glass*

[textsfromramsen]

Q: Callie, remember your training.

Callie: BUT I DON’T HAVE ANY TRAINING!