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just a person who's horny for the transforming robots - requests welcome

[tf-hornyposting]

cybertronians are not sexually compatible with humans. that does nothing to stop them from trying. even with the size difference there's many options. conveniently, the average cybertronian's finger is safely within the range of objects that humans can comfortably fit inside them. obviously larger 'bots need to take special care, but anything is possible with enough patience and lube. it's a spectacular experience; watching such a small part of their frame absolutely wreck their human in the best way possible.

it's a little harder for a human to give pleasure to a cybertronian, though. they largely rely on electromagnetic fields and their various ports and cables to share minds and emotions. however, it is possible with a little creativity. car batteries are a fantastic start, but it does take several to build enough charge for an overload. if they get too pent up, they can always expel it themselves while watching their human get off.

[tf-hornyposting]

it's difficult not to get a little voyeuristic when living on earth. all autobots are under strict orders to hide themselves from humans, no exceptions. but being what humans think is a non-sentient machine leads to observing certain... things. a seemingly common activity amongst humans is driving to a scenic spot to mate. the actual process is not dissimilar to how cybertronians do it. all that to say watching two humans writhe around inside them while gasping in pleasure builds charge; whether they want to or not. their internal sensors just can't look away from the unfolding scene - the (usually) larger human sticking their tiny spike into the (usually) smaller human's valve. these particular organics don't have much different equipment from a cybertronian. it can be hard to tell, though, what with all the fabric they cover their fleshy frames in. it makes it better, in an odd way. sometimes the humans just kiss and grind their arrays together for hours and hours. that is especially excruciating; the slow build of charge and still having to drive them both home afterwards. it's hard to sneak away to self-service when humans panic at an empty garage. taking care of it there is also hard; they aren't allowed to get caught in root mode under any circumstances. so naturally the fantasies about being caught are born. to be stroking their spike or fingering their valve when a human walks in and sees. maybe the don't panic and run away. maybe they just watch. or maybe, they help.

[tf-hornyposting]

being stranded on earth is weird. a good but also kinda bad weird that's making some cybertronians realize rather personal things about themselves.

the "problem" is that humans love their cars. like, groom to perfection and call them pet names love. sure, it's important to take care of one's belongings. but to a cybertronian those kinds of... affections, are reserved strictly for lovers. and primus below, some mecha would do unspeakable things to belong to a human like that. the thought of being locked in a garage, only let out when they need to take a drive; for work or for pleasure. being washed and polished to perfection for no reason other than they want to; those small hands able to dip into the sensitive places most servos can't. the trust it takes to allow themselves to treat such a dangerous alien like family. to be kept as a valuable possession, not by force; not when humans are such fragile little things. it's purely voluntary. because they'll take good care of you, just like you take good care of them. it's intoxicating.

[tf-hornyposting]

cybertronians know that human vehicles aren't sentient. earth is hardly the first planet they've been to that used non-sentient mechnical transport units. but it is the first planet they've been to where the vehicles elicit a rather... inappropriate response. for one thing, it's incredibly easy to mistake them for actual cybertronians. the wide variety of engines and frame types almost mimics the diversity of pre-war cybertron. it gets lonely undercover on earth; absolutely nobody could be blamed for wanting to take one for a, ahem, spin.

to feel the vibration of the engine as they slide their spike across the hood, exterior node ever so slightly brushing the grille. it feels so familiar to stick a finger in the seems of the doors or gently stroke the tires as they desperately rut against the cold metal. leaving the doors open can even imitate fragging someone with wings; lovingly petting them and pretending the purr of the lifeless engine is proof of another mech's satisfaction. fondling those sleek curves without any true reciprocity isn't even a turnoff since alt-mode interfacing is usually pretty one-sided anyways. this is all the fun with none of the shame for getting off to a partner that just sits there. and it sits there so well; not a single complaint as transfluid sprays the windshield, dripping into those hard-to-reach places. there's no point in cleaning up unless the car belongs to someone (but they never do if one finds the right place. just don't touch the ones covered in rust and you won't get found because an angry medic needs to explain to the whole faction why you should not frag cars).

[tf-hornyposting]

something ive seen very little of that should be waaay more popular is detachable spikes; however im not talking to the point they can just take it off and leave it somewhere. the important connections like sensory lines and transfluid reservoirs are still attached. this is intended for non-invasive maintenance, but used almost entirely for self-servicing purposes.

interfacing is fun, sure, but finding even a casual partner can be tough. trust is hard to come by and toys only cut it for so long before one needs the real deal. enter the detachable spike. because it's real, it's very warm, which already makes it better than a toy. it's also sized to match its accompanying valve; not too small, not too big. just. right.

just inserting the head alone is enough to make the average mech overload. all those sensors pinging directly into the pleasure center of the processor as you ride your own spike. truly nothing compares the feeling of fucking and getting fucked at the same time, because unlike regular interfacing, the sensations line up perfectly. every clench of the valve as the spike slides deeper and deeper until there's double the heavenly feedback pressing against the ceiling node. it's almost too much when overload hits, your own transfluid filling your valve, stuffing yourself so full.

self-servicing has never been so good.

[tf-hornyposting]

group masturbation/orgies being a common bonding activity amongst cybertronians because of the war. interfacing - especially self-servicing - used to be very taboo, but eventually one must swallow their dignity if they ever want to chance to expel some charge; and why not let the rest of the squad join in? everyone might die in the next battle anyway so who cares. it got popular quick. at just about any given moment, there's at least one group somewhere on the ship/base/hideout that are having a very public interfacing session. it's perfectly normal to walk into a room and see two 'bots with their hands on each other's spikes or fingers up each other's valves; even more normal for other people to watch.

eating someone's valve instead of rations at the commissary, late night frotting in berth before a battle, congratulatory blowjobs after a particularly rough firefight; just another day for the autobots. actual penetration is rare, but only because contraceptives are hard to come by and nobody wants to be unlucky enough to face the hatchet. beside that, everything else is fair game. mostly.

high command only asks that everyone refrain from interfacing or self-servicing during mission briefs (so nobody dies because they were too busy overloading to listen). they also won't talk about it or do it with any of the regular soldiers - the line does have to be drawn somewhere. but a few whispers float through the faction that the top brass absolutely do it with each other.

[tf-hornyposting]

the decepticons also adapted free for all fragging, but they're a touch more reserved with their affections. it's every mech for themselves and one must be very cautious not to accidentally hook up with someone who's gonna stab them in the back; literally and figuratively. established flings tend to stay established unless one of them is transferred or killed. as a result, 'cons are super possessive. making a move on somebody's frag buddy is a good way to spend a month or two in the medbay. these aren't committed relationships, mind; more like sexual insurance that there's at least one person who isn't trying to take you offline. getting a tank or a triple-changer into berth might very well be the difference between life and death.

decepticon high command does not care in the slightest. it improves moral, and gives people an incentive not to make stupid choices on the battefield. unlike the autobots, nobody stirs up rumors about their interfacing habits. a few poor sparks learned the hard way what happens when one makes insinuations about who their supreme commander invites to his quarters every night. even talking behind closed doors isn't safe; not when his most loyal servant is a telepath.

[tf-hornyposting]

group masturbation/orgies being a common bonding activity amongst cybertronians because of the war. interfacing - especially self-servicing - used to be very taboo, but eventually one must swallow their dignity if they ever want to chance to expel some charge; and why not let the rest of the squad join in? everyone might die in the next battle anyway so who cares. it got popular quick. at just about any given moment, there's at least one group somewhere on the ship/base/hideout that are having a very public interfacing session. it's perfectly normal to walk into a room and see two 'bots with their hands on each other's spikes or fingers up each other's valves; even more normal for other people to watch.

eating someone's valve instead of rations at the commissary, late night frotting in berth before a battle, congratulatory blowjobs after a particularly rough firefight; just another day for the autobots. actual penetration is rare, but only because contraceptives are hard to come by and nobody wants to be unlucky enough to face the hatchet. beside that, everything else is fair game. mostly.

high command only asks that everyone refrain from interfacing or self-servicing during mission briefs (so nobody dies because they were too busy overloading to listen). they also won't talk about it or do it with any of the regular soldiers - the line does have to be drawn somewhere. but a few whispers float through the faction that the top brass absolutely do it with each other.

[tf-hornyposting]

cybertronians arriving on earth and having a tough time adjusting to human vehicles. they'll just be sitting at a red light, going about their day, when an absolutely stunning sports car pulls up next to them. the purr of the engine alone is enough to start building charge; and when it revvs? oh primus they're in trouble. it's a struggle to race to the nearest abandoned warehouse so they can stick a finger in their port and relieve themselves to the audio playback of that scandalous car driving away. two minutes in and they have to turn off their vocaliser or risk being discovered in a compromising position. their own engine growls loudly as they overload, leaving behind the thick stench of ozone. they can only sit in a puddle of shame and coolant hoping nobody heard that.

(everyone did, and the city received several noise complaints as a result)

[tf-hornyposting]

a lot of humans find loud cars obnoxious and annoying and therefore assume cybertronians would too BUT we should consider that they likely find engine noises, even (especially?) loud ones, attractive and maybe even erotic. so. i humbly propose:

engine revving is essentially the cybertronian equivalent of finding certain voices extremely hot (or not, personal preference). obviously they do have voices but engines would kind of be like a second voice that's just as unique as their vocaliser (and transformation cog too why not since it's already canon they sound different for everyone).

having a frame where the engine isn't obscured by armor? basically like walking around shirtless. maybe even nude. traditionalists everywhere are clutching their crystals in horror at the promiscuity.

anywho. something to think about.