figured out why k/taang bothered me as a kid.
Most children's media I watched back then was primarily directed at young boys, and atla was no different. Aang is the main character, and the center of the main romance (although this was very much not the focus of the show), which is mostly shown from his perspective. The writers also talk about it from his POV. Katara is the cute older girl who sees Aang like a little kid she needs to take care of. She loves him "like a babysitter, like a little brother". But there's the wish fulfillment; even though you’re a goofy kid, the pretty older girl likes you back. I had seen that dynamic, that perspective, in kids media over and over and over again. It was always the girl who changed her mind. And as a girl who couldn't relate, it always felt like watching her get worn down. (disclaimer: these were my feelings, I'm aware they don't reflect the writers' intentions)
K/taang, from its inception, right from the mouths of the writers, was always about what Aang wanted, his wish fulfillment. What little boys would want to see.
The difference in zutara is that it’s not a male-centered fantasy. It’s not that the girl will come around eventually, it’s that the guy has to work and change to be her friend. It's female-centric. Even k/taang fans seem to recognize this, although they view it pejoratively. “You like Zuko cause he’s hot and you project onto Katara” Look, I’m gay so no I don’t want to date Zuko, but yeah womanhood is central to Katara's arc and so I relate to her more than I do Zuko or Aang. Of course the idea that someone would change to gain your respect is more appealing than being worn down into liking someone you just previously treated like your child. And hey! Romance is wish fulfillment! I’m sorry, is that supposed to be shameful?
K/taang fans have this constant misunderstanding that zutara is shallow and so are its fans. It's all about the aesthetic appeal of Zuko over Aang. Honestly the way they talk about it sometimes smacks of misogyny. No you can’t find this relationship deep or meaningful, you just think Zuko is hot. You don’t like their dynamic or development, you just project onto Katara because you think Zuko is hot. You dont like zutara over k/taang because they’re completely different kinds of ships that appeal to different tastes, you just think Zuko is hot and Aang isn't.
Because women can’t possibly think deeply about these things, they’re shallow and insipid, obviously. Do you hear yourselves?
I like Katara and Zuko together more because k/taang reminds me of every other male fantasy I had to see women be accessories to. Katara may be her own character in the show, with an arc and development and independence, but in her romance with Aang, she's just his girl.
wanted to add onto this with taang. so many kataang fans are against the ship even though there's nothing glaring wrong with it. Some claim that Toph is "too mean" to be with him or "too masculine" for him to be attracted to her. And some people just plain don't like it because aang wants katara.
But similar to ZK - it's the male character who has to do the work to become friends. When toph first meets aang, he is the first person to beat her, and essentially de-throne her title. She dislikes that and wants nothing to do with him. He fails the first time to get her to listen to his pitch (even with Katara pitching it as he's the Avatar). Then, he is persistent, but not in a physical sense, when goes to her parents instead. Because he is sure that she is the best earth bender and the person he wants to learn from. And ultimately, in their walk in the garden, even in that short amount of time, Toph opens up to him about her life and how her parents treat her, which Aang immediately gives an olive branch to (offering for her to come with them).
