TG Max Offical

You’re favorite store chain of off priced goods *I am not afflieated or condoned by TJ Maxx so like don’t sue me

[tg-max-offical]

Hey hey it’s Americas favorite off prices resellers here. It’s official Tj-Maxx-Offical is here tell your friends and get ready Officalverse. You’re in for a whole bunch of saving

don’t forgot to sign up for a card

[satan-offical]

oh you're on tumblr.com? name three presidents you've stolen the shoelaces from

[tg-max-offical]

y e s

[amnesia-offical]

Where’s a good place to go for advice?

[villain-offical]

Me :)

[amnesia-offical]

Oh, um… aren’t you… like… evil?

Or, actually, maybe that means you would know about these things!

Do you have any advice for dealing with family problems? :)

[tg-max-offical]

YOU CAN ALWAYS ADVICE AT YOUR LOCAL TG MAX

[villain-offical]

I'm proposing... A new alliance.

A TEMPORARY ONE! Only employed when facing said common enemy. We can continue killing each other violently elsewhere

Anyway I call it TACS. Tumblr Against Chatbot Slop. Currently making a logo give me like a couple hours I've got some sketches down

If YOU 🫵 have an issue with AI slop (of all kinds) then YOU TOO can join TACS. No need to send an ask or anything, if you have an issue with it you're automatically part of the crew. Anyway we should start by going through with the blackout period on February 26th to protest the Shapes.inc ads that have been assaulting our feeds recently. Good starting point.

[grisha-offical]

I'm in!

Blackout period as in nobody uses tumblr for the day?

[drumsticks-offical]

I’ll jump in!

I saw a post this morning that said if you block the shapes.inc account it won’t show you the ads anymore. Idk if it works but it’s good information

[the-rats-offical]

im listening

[tg-max-offical]

Break them

[constellations-offical]

greetings people of the officalverse, i suppose we're new here how do i do this, help

[john-doe-offical]

Welcome to the cult officalverse!

[tg-max-offical]

WELCOME TO THE CULT CLUB

Wanna sign up for a rewards card to help our eldritch squid Lord Glypanog?

[constellations-offical]

hey is this perhaps a cult?

[tg-max-offical]

Whhhaaaattt

Why would you even think such a thing??

[constellations-offical]

ohh i see, we were mistaken, obviously there is no possible way this could be a cult

[tg-max-offical]

There is totally know way we area cult

[constellations-offical]

greetings people of the officalverse, i suppose we're new here how do i do this, help

[john-doe-offical]

Welcome to the cult officalverse!

[tg-max-offical]

WELCOME TO THE CULT CLUB

Wanna sign up for a rewards card to help our eldritch squid Lord Glypanog?

[constellations-offical]

hey is this perhaps a cult?

[tg-max-offical]

Whhhaaaattt

Why would you even think such a thing??

[constellations-offical]

greetings people of the officalverse, i suppose we're new here how do i do this, help

[john-doe-offical]

Welcome to the cult officalverse!

[tg-max-offical]

WELCOME TO THE CULT CLUB

Wanna sign up for a rewards card to help our eldritch squid Lord Glypanog?

[cluedo-offical]

Clue

The Offical Cluedo.

!!!Not actually Cluedo. Everything here is a joke. There may be some violent moments that can trigger sensitive people. Religion, flashing lights, and jumpscares might also feature!!!

Would you like to play Cluedo? Then you've come to the right place. For a week, we will be accepting submissions of people that want to play. You may also pick your character. Once you pick them, you will receive additional information.

Mrs Peacock - 65 - Retired

Miss Peacock - 23 - Socialite

Solicitor Peacock - 52 - Solicitor

Miss Scarlett - 28 - Socialite

Miss Scarlet - 25 - Socialite

Professor Plum - 31 - Professor

Colonel Mustard - 78 - Retired Colonel

Colonel Yellow - 73 - Retired Colonel

Reverend Green - 68 - Reverend

Mr Green - 35 - Undisclosed job

Mayor Green - 51 - Mayor

Vaughan Green - 19 - University student

Doctor Orchid - 20 - Aromacologist

Fat Mrs White - 53 - Unemployed

Chef White - 58 - Chef

Mrs Peach - 50 - Unemployed

Director Black - 52 - Film director

Monsieur Brunette - 41 - Undisclosed job

Madame Rose - 62 - Fortune teller

Inspector Grey - 57 - Inspector

Detective Gray - 58 - Detective

Mr Slate-Grey - 45 - Banker

Captain Brown - 55 - Sea captain

Mr Coral - 48 - Millionaire

Mvette - 22 - Maid

Puddings - 54 - Butler

Wadrath - 43 - Butler

Rusty Nayler - 66 - Gardener

Lady Lavender - 38 - Lady

Mr Meadow-Brook - 40 - Amateur detective

Mrs Meadow-Brook - 39 - Amateur detective

Prince Azure - 34 - Foreign prince

Lord Gray - 59 - Lord

Madame Rubie - 31 - Socialite

General Umber - 70 - Retired General

Mrs Azul - 42 - Undisclosed job

Sir Ube - 44 - Gameshow host and Knight

Headmaster Ube - 80 - Headmaster

Everything will occurr in messages. If you wish to say something to the other players, I will message them and sign the speech from you.

The picked characters have a dash through them.

This is the cluedo map for reference:

[tg-max-offical]

May I be

General Umber

[mellifexfarm]

Hot hot hot hot chocolate

HEY WE GOT IT

[jawd]

[jawd]

[jawd]

[jawd]

PLEASE THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I’VE SEEN THIS THIS AFTERNOON.

WHY IS THIS ON MY DASH IT IS JUNE

[the-everything-remover]

­

[bingle-official]

@walmart-the-official HOT CHOCOLATE

[tg-max-offical]

[1500s-peasant-offical]

Gooday! I pray none of you are nobles, because I swear on my last sack of oats I am not paying tax just for speaking in this cursed place. I’ve already paid enough this week! For windows, for salt, and even for being unbetrothed.

Anyway. Since everyone is introducing themselves… here I am.

And before anyone starts whispering, I am a woman, yes. A fair maiden, I'd prefer. But I am NOT a witch.

However, if you behave suspiciously, rest assured I will sniff it out. I have an excellent eye for witches. I’ve found at least seven in my village! Three didn’t even know they were witches until I informed them. They’re welcome, truly.

I’m a simple-minded peasant woman. Give me a roof that doesn't leak, women neighbours who can't read, and a granary full of fresh, beautiful oats, and I can live happily enough. As long as no one sends rats into my house. I fear rats. And I fear plague.

I do hope this Officialverse lot is kinder than my village. Heaven knows I endure enough misery as it is. The least I deserve are decent neighbors

Not witches, not nobles, and absolutely not oat stealers.

@satan-offical @walmart-the-official @king-of-oreo @queen-of-oreo @tall-offical @short-offical @britain-offical @ireland-offical @gaslight-offical @insecurity-offical @man-offical @grim-reaper-offical @satans-mum-offical @orange-offical @blue-offical @journalism-offical @hells-corprate-offical @shipping-officals-offical @truth-offical @amnesia-offical @torture-offical @adhd-offical @sign-painter-offical @egg-official @evil-bread-offical

[tg-max-offical]

You didn’t hear? To just speak to an offical you must pay a tax of 200 oats or the finest mead that you may have.

Because everyone has 20 year aged mead right?

[1500s-peasant-offical]

Oh foul heavens above! TWO HUNDRED OATS?

Dear official, I am a peasant not a noble lady! I merely have 100 oats! I shan't pay officials even the littlest of them.

And TWENTY YEAR OLD MEAD? Even I am not 20 yet!

These noble lords would be cursed by me till my tongue remains intact!

Though, @king-of-oreo did not demand any oats, and was quite generous as I was given oats too! He is a good noble, a rare one of all!

[tg-max-offical]

That shall be another 500 oat or 50 year old mead for speaking to a noble such as myself that way

Our eldritch lord and savior, Lord Glypanog has troops to feed and a war to wage against the giant sentient Pineapples.

So like sign up for a credit card with us and you may be spared in the coming draft for soldiers

And you may not face divine retribution

[1500s-peasant-offical]

Gooday! I pray none of you are nobles, because I swear on my last sack of oats I am not paying tax just for speaking in this cursed place. I’ve already paid enough this week! For windows, for salt, and even for being unbetrothed.

Anyway. Since everyone is introducing themselves… here I am.

And before anyone starts whispering, I am a woman, yes. A fair maiden, I'd prefer. But I am NOT a witch.

However, if you behave suspiciously, rest assured I will sniff it out. I have an excellent eye for witches. I’ve found at least seven in my village! Three didn’t even know they were witches until I informed them. They’re welcome, truly.

I’m a simple-minded peasant woman. Give me a roof that doesn't leak, women neighbours who can't read, and a granary full of fresh, beautiful oats, and I can live happily enough. As long as no one sends rats into my house. I fear rats. And I fear plague.

I do hope this Officialverse lot is kinder than my village. Heaven knows I endure enough misery as it is. The least I deserve are decent neighbors

Not witches, not nobles, and absolutely not oat stealers.

@satan-offical @walmart-the-official @king-of-oreo @queen-of-oreo @tall-offical @short-offical @britain-offical @ireland-offical @gaslight-offical @insecurity-offical @man-offical @grim-reaper-offical @satans-mum-offical @orange-offical @blue-offical @journalism-offical @hells-corprate-offical @shipping-officals-offical @truth-offical @amnesia-offical @torture-offical @adhd-offical @sign-painter-offical @egg-official @evil-bread-offical

[tg-max-offical]

You didn’t hear? To just speak to an offical you must pay a tax of 200 oats or the finest mead that you may have.

Because everyone has 20 year aged mead right?

[james-offical]

I do enjoy having a cranium

[cyn-offical]

i do to. May I borrow yours?

[james-offical]

no, sorry. I only have the one but they should sell them at Tj Maxx for a few quarts!

[cyn-offical]

oki

[john-doe-offical]

@tg-max-offical

[tg-max-offical]

Specifically five quarts but we have a deal going on if you bring 10 you’ll get 2 and extra body part of ur choosing for 10% off.

Don’t forget to apply for a credit card, you’ll get an extra body part for free and 10% off your purchase. lord Glypanog requires more money to fight the evil Pineapple people and the giant Avocado people who have formed an alliance with them.

[spotify-offical]

Hello Everyone!

Unfortunately, my time on tumblr has come to an end. My mother is coming too close to finding my account. I knew this would be temporary, and I hate leaving you, but I figured it's time.

Moots, I love you all so fucking much. You have helped me through so much and I am so grateful I could meet you all. I love joking and laughing with you all. Thank you for being there for me.

I will be permanently deactivating my account tomorrow, (november 6th)

Signing off,

Spotify

@pinterest-offical @satan-offical @mothman-offical @god-offical@grim-reaper-offical @the-apple-offical @britain-offical @evilducks-offical @evil-bread-offical @brick-offical @imp-offical @the-first-imp-offical @can-tab-eater-offical @mlm-god-offical @fbi--offical @wlw-god-offical @silly-little-arson-frog-offical @america-offical @frog-offical @nowhere-offical @no-one-offical @nothing-offical @duck-offical @eating-offical @adam-offical @eden-snake-offical @official--eve @jeff-offical @sappho-offical @homosexuality-offical @ur-least-fav-gal-offical @offical-offical @love-offical @oxford-dictionary-offical @red-solo-cup-offical @thought-process-offical @lemonade-offical @angel-offical @lemon-offical @adhd-offical @autism-offical @anxiety-official @profain-offical @valid-offical @zeus-offical @applemusic-offical @tree-offical @scotland-offical @wales-offical and any other offical.

[pinterest-offical]

am i gonna be widowed? ToT

i’m sorry you have to get rid of your account :( i’ll miss you 😔

[tg-max-offical]

Good hunting Spotify

Stay safe and may you return safely

o7

[papayafromtv]

You're my favourite micro celebrity

you're talking bullshit get out of my house.

[tg-max-offical]

Omg you sound just like @bellabookworm

[satans-mum-offical]

In all seriousness, impersonation is not funny and very disrespectful. Please stop making accounts intended to look like, and be mistaken for, @satan-offical or any other offical for that matter. If you want to make an offical blog, make your own. Don’t copy someone else.

[tg-max-offical]

I agree it’s very rude and annoying and I’m not interacting with any who do make blogs copying her

[the-pineapple-offical]

Yeah like I do really like all the different @satan-offical Varietiess and such like @neutral-satan-offical or @good-satan-official or @gay-satan-offical or @satancraft-offical or @satan-offical-crying-image-blog and The evil one but I do find like 1 identical copy is fine it’s mostly just how many people you can fool into thinking satan followed them but 2 is just to much

this is my opinion about all blogs based around different blogs and such like @evil-pineapple-offical is almost a completely different blog and I really like that same with @evil-woman-official and such heck even ones that are as simple as idk (blue [blog offical name ] and everything is just blue instead of normal is still really good so in short

if you make a identical copy of a pre existing blog but you don’t steal the post it’s okey the gimmick is that you’re the coly cat but if someone else does it after they are just kinda a copy with no gimmick and that’s just not okey

but I do have to be honest A variant that’s not a 1 to 1 copy are one of the funniest things in the officalverse so far

*mic drop*

[tg-max-offical]

Eh idk there are ones where they’re practically an identical copy of the blog besides a different letter in the blog name

Like yea the variant ones are fine but it’s just when they’re trying to copying the blog is when it’s too much

[satans-mum-offical]

In all seriousness, impersonation is not funny and very disrespectful. Please stop making accounts intended to look like, and be mistaken for, @satan-offical or any other offical for that matter. If you want to make an offical blog, make your own. Don’t copy someone else.

[tg-max-offical]

I agree it’s very rude and annoying and I’m not interacting with any who do make blogs copying her

[asexual-offical]

Night 2

5 canon shots are heard in the distance: @asexual-offical, @virgin-mary-offical, @your-grandma-offical , @tg-max-offical, @john-locke-offical and @evilducks-offical

13 remain

tags/participants under cut:

District 1: @asexual-offical (dead)

District 1: @virgin-mary-offical (dead)

District 2: @john-doe-offical (dead)

District 2: @arson-offical

District 3: @evilducks-offical (dead)

District 3: @weaponry-offical (dead)

District 4: @time-keeper-offical

District 4: @john-locke-offical (dead)

District 5: @usa-offical

District 5: @your-grandma-offical

District 6: @amanita-offical

District 6: @spider-offical (dead)

District 7: @girl-scouts-offical

District 7: @tg-max-offical (dead)

District 8: @sickness-offical

District 8: @wales-offical (dead)

District 9: @tophat-offical

District 9: @have-a-duck

District 10: @bubble-offical (dead)

District 10: @bad-coping-mechanisms-offical

District 11: @confessions-offical

District 11: @hl1-freeman-official

District 12: @spy-tf2-offical

District 12: @jonathan-sims-offical (dead)

[tg-max-offical]

I did not expect that for me lol