Untitled

[th4rapy]

I have been finding it harder and harder to find things to talk about on here the more freedom we get. I am finding it so hard to balance school work and a social life. Trying to afford all my bills is slowing draining me more and more everyday. How does everyone else do it? I am exhausted and washed. I keep making bad decisions and choosing going out over class and I hate myself for it every time, but still continue to do it? It is this stupid reoccuring internal issue as I am sitting here at 11:49 trying to write this as fast as possible just to make it on time. As always. I need to learn to prioritize apparently. I live so far from my parents and its hard trying to adjust to this newly found independence I have. I know my grades are slipping but I find it hard to even care. I have lost interest for so many things as of lately. I am in this weird funk and all I care about is trying to forget the problems of my life by having as much “fun” as possible. I visited my friend at Fischer last night instead of doing this blog, my math homework and an essay. I am obviously ashamed of myself but will I keep making these bad choices? Probably. I dont even really know where I am trying to go with this. I just always see myself slipping up when I have the time to do what needs to be done. Maybe its the newly found independence I have from moving away from my parents only one year ago? But the worst part is that I am most definately too old to need my parents telling me to do what I need to do. I decided to go to my friends college last night instead of doing my blog, my math homework and an essay. For what? To have a good time. I am aware  of the bad decisions I am making but it is like I am numb to caring for anything these days. I put in half the effort I could and still dont really care. I try to find any certain kind of satisfaction to avoid the responsibilities and goals I set for myself. Like I said, I dont really know where Im going with this. Today, when I got home from St. John Fisher, all I could think about was the huge amount of crap I could have gotten done for myself rather than go out and party. But even then, Im still here rushing to get this done. I erased half of my blog on accident about 7 minutes ago and its like this bad karma for always putting my shit off till the last minute. I hate myself for it but things never change and old habits die hard I guess. 

[hipster-aesthetics]

hipster blog

[th4rapy]

I so desperately wish that school systems understood the difference between learning and basing everything off a graded test. How can a person genuinely retain any kind of information if they are simply rehearsing it line for line in their head just to regurgitate it back onto a test? You walk away with no actual knowledge of the topic. I am truly interested in almost all the classes I am taking this semester, but am so focused on memorizing the details for my grades, I don’t remember anything after its all said and done. Guaranteed I do well and get good grades for studying for these tests, but why am I paying $7,150 a year out of my own pocket if I don’t walk away with true knowledge of it all? Maybe there is no other way to create a functioning school system, but I really wish there was. It’s the same thing year after year and you would think more students would be as adamant about this topic as I am. I enjoy this class because it’s a way out of this continual cycle of testing. These tests grade your memorization, NOT knowledge. And again I will ask, what’s the point? These tests will 100% never help me in everyday life and ultimately my career once I graduate. I see a bright future for people who take classes such as this one because we are graded for our voices and not our multiple choice answers. Shouldn’t we succeed for expanding our mind to new ideas, different people, foreign culture and world issues in 2015 rather than memorizing the kings and queens in Europe 1400 who will have almost no impact to our lives until the day we die? Maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s not. I want to go to school and be excited to be here. I am constantly anxious about homework assignments and tests. On the contrary, I am not completely opposed to homework and tests. I realize they are a necessity to school in the 20th century, but I do think that they could be structured much differently than they currently are. Maybe if homework and tests were less fact and a medium between the fact of things and putting it into context of our daily lives. How we will use it in our daily lives or finding correlations between today’s world and these facts we are trying to “learn.” Everyone has their own way of learning, but this is the way I would like to learn.

[ti315-blog]

Who Am I?

My life, in my eyes, is something i like to look at as accomplishments and happiness. I try to get the most that i want out of life as i can, while enjoying myself and working hard. Some people to me, just take life to seriously most of the time. I try not to look at it that way. I feel as if since we really only get one chance at this life stuff, we should just live it to the fullest the best way we can. Things about me outside of all of the classes, and things that i feel are required for me to do throughout life to be successful, is i just like to chill out. That may seem like something so simple, but for me, that feels like everything. I feel as if i am always on the go, and that i don’t have time for a lot of the things that i want to do. So when i do finally get free time to myself, i just hangout with the bros. Another thing about me is that i don’t tell people much about me. i rather just wait for them to get to know me through just finding out things on their own. If people really cared enough about me, they would pay attention to the things i do and how i act. I also like learning something new everyday, so that is another reason as to why I keep things hiding. My life is always on the move, and it is also very exciting. I love my life, and if i had to add one thing about myself, it would be to be even more ambitious.

[th4rapy]

I really appreciate your mindset you have on everyday life. I wish that's how I thought about situations more often. I am very serious and take everything literal. I stress about every situation and problem in my life but if I picked up some of your thoughts and put them into my life, I'm sure it would make things easier on me. As for wanting to be more ambitious, I also agree. I think it's something that you have to forcefully do until it becomes habit. The more you put yourself out there, the more comfortable you will get doing it.

[reallysteadything-blog]

Blogging

I have never blogged before and I have never felt the urge to start blogging but now that I have to create weekly blogs for my writing class in college I am willing to give Tumblr a try. All my life ever since I was a little girl I grew up playing sports they were always a big part of my life, I had intentions to play in college then my life took a turn and was injured I tore 3 ligaments in my ankle and haven’t been able to get them fixed. This injury has prevented me from playing for college but since then I have joined a bar league and have made some great friends who also have been through similar struggles. When we play we are out there to have fun, it’s not all about winning and getting first place. Without sports in my life many of the opportunities I have had places I have been to or friendships I have made. Each year my family my family takes a trip to Florida at the same time, but this summer was the first summer that was different my parents got a divorce so it was a year of a bunch of firsts who to spend holidays with where to spend all of my time, it also brought a bunch of questions like what if it was something I did that caused the divorce or what if I could have done something to prevent the divorce? After countless questioning my parents said that there is nothing my sister and I could have don’t to help them it was a mutual decision and did what was in our best interest, after years of listening to kids I grew up with complaining about how they are tired of going back and fourth from their moms to their dads or having to meet their parents new significant other, I understand how they feel. It is difficult to maintain a good relationship with both parents while trying to show them that I have not chosen a side. Although it’s been a difficult year I’m excited to see how the future will work out, hopefully for the better and even though I have been experiencing a rough path it has to get worse before it can get better.

[th4rapy]

I understand how you are feeling. My father left when I was 9 and that was it. My parents were divorced and I never saw him again. I had to get used to my moms new husband years later. I did everything to distance myself and not let him in, even though he took me in like his own. You have to find the strength and maturity in yourself to bring yourself through this. Everyone, including I, can say anything to tell you what's the right thing to do, but it's ultimately your own self-will that will help you persevere in the midst of this mess you have going on. Stay strong.

[stevemac716-blog]

cell phones are a problem

I realize in today’s society that cell phones are a problem. Sometimes I wish I knew how to make cell phones because I know the inventor is now a billionaire. I notice that most individuals use the phone as a prop or a  way to hide who they truly are. For example, a lot of girls on campus use the phone so when you try to look them in the eyes as you pass them; they have something else to look at. I also know that people look at their phones as if its a life line to their (100)success. I understand that to a certain extent because of the false dreams people give out on social media etc. My parents always tell me to this day that if cell phones wasn’t a problem; the world would be a better place. They tell me this because the world doesn’t have to take place in our phones. The world has alot to offer when you truly pay attention. Its a beautiful thing but sadly most of us miss out on so much because we feel as if were important on social media or elsewhere. I feel as if everyone is faking each (200)other out with self pnones also. I’m really talking about phone apps such as twitter, facebook, instagram, snapchat etc. Phones cause these problems because their hand held and you can be on it 24/7. Therefore, you don’t have to go on a laptop or computer when you get home or when you find a comfortable space to relax. Social media allows people to feel as if their a celebrity or some higher power when in reality their not. I call this the “two-faced system” for us young adults/teenagers. For example, a person in reality can have bad ache(300) but on the internet they can look like a model with filters. Have anybody thought that maybe even dating would be easier without cell phones? I advise people to think about it because if a individual is distracted on their phones or text messages daily; then how can they possibly be loyal? I realize that most people can’t live without cell phones and its sad. Phones are distractions if not being used the right way such as calling or interacting over the phone. People can miss the love of their life (future wifes, husbands, etc) just by looking down at a phone that doesn’t give you anything but a bill monthly.  Cell phones really are a problem.

[th4rapy]

I completely agree with everything you just said. Cell phones have ruined the way children and young adults grow up in the world. We just so happened to (sort of) miss the internet commodity as babies and children, but even growing up with computers, laptops, and smart phones in our young adult years have vastly changed the way we grow socially and communicatively. I am 100% guilty of using my phone more often than I should, using social media as a facade and using it as a safety barrier for awkward social situations. But I can't help but wonder how much different all our lives would be without it? You are right. We probably have missed countless and countless opportunities to meet new people or do something that would vastly change our lives. I guess we'll never know..

[roachesandraidcans-blog]

Who am I?

I’m not a writer, but I can write. I write all the time, I write for school. I write music. I write every day but I’m not a writer. I was a three-sport varsity player in high school playing football, basketball, and baseball. Football was my life, it was an everyday grind and I always left it all on the field. Basketball gave me some of the greatest memories of all time. I helped put a championship banner on the wall. I’ve built bonds with my teammates that can never be broken. I’ve stolen bases, hit home runs and struck out plenty… it taught me a lot. I still play basketball to this day; I also spend a lot of my time at the gym. Am I an athlete? No probably not. Like any other college student, I enjoy spending time with friends. Laughing, partying and having fun. But I don’t even drink so I can’t be a party animal.  I love to sing, produce, play or even just listen to music. Everything I do requires music. Maybe I’m a musician…nope not that either. I’m supposed to be introducing myself here but there’s a big problem… I’m not even sure who I am yet. I’m still trying to figure that out. Maybe I am a writer, Maybe I am an athlete, Maybe I’m just here to party, or maybe I’m just waiting for my big break as a musician. One thing I can say is maybe I’m just a work in progress…. When I find out who I am ill be sure to let you know…

[th4rapy]

You are most definitely not the only one who has no idea who you are yet. Most of us our age don't have a damn clue. I know for certain that I don't either. It's an everyday struggle trying to figure out what place you have in this world but I think that's apart of the whole journey in this life. I'm unsure what my purpose is but I try new things, go different places I've never been, try to meet new people. Trying to find your identity in the world is figuring out what you find most passion in and excelling in it, I think.

[th4rapy]

I often wonder what my meaning in life really is. I wake up, I go to class, I go to work, and then go to sleep. It's a repeating occurrence and I can't help but believe there's more to life than this customary one I am currently living. I can't quite distinguish whether it's a higher power governing us to make me feel like I have meaning in my life. My parents raised me to believe God had a will for my life but I couldn't grasp the reality of praising something I cannot see. Maybe I'm just seeking more contingency?? I live day by day waiting for something to change or give me satisfaction but I don't feel anything changing at all. It's like my life is at a stand still and I'm watching everyone go somewhere but myself.