dizzy hurricane

she's beauty, she's grace. she'll punch you in the face.

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queenbrandi-hernandez‌:

Did you at least try and get more lavish gifts out of him before you left?

What kind of person do you think I am, Michael? Of course I did. The diamond earrings were my favorite.

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queenbrandi-hernandez·:

He what? Do I even want to know?

You know that song ‘Worth It’? Liam changed the lyrics to “gimme Jakey, I’m worth it,” and it was stuck in everyone’s heads for weeks. It was... annoyingly catchy.

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queenbrandi-hernandez‌:

Oh wow I… hate that. That’s gross. And also reminds me way too much of weird tabloids who publish photos of girl’s feet.

I found a folder in his computer full of pictures of feet and it was so weird, but when I first met him, I knew something was off about him. A person can’t be that perfect.

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queenbrandi-hernandez·:

You think she would have made fun of him that much?

I have no doubt in my mind about it, especially because Liam kept singing his version of Worth It after finding out that his ship did the do. That song was stuck in Alaska's head for weeks.

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queenbrandi-hernandez‌:

I figured, and don’t worry. I don’t have any. I can’t even think of any that I would be able to lie about.

Have I ever told you about my ex-boyfriend back when I was an exchange student in London for a year? I was so excited because he was a son of a prince, but then I found out that he had a very weird foot fetish.

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queenbrandi-hernandez·:

I’m surprised he didn’t. Puppies seem like the exact thing that would bring out the water works for them.

Oh, he probably held it in, which is good for him. He knows better than to cry in front of my sister.

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queenbrandi-hernandez‌:

Thank you, I do my best. It’s almost as if my entire career was built off of being cheesy. How do you know that I don’t have any weird fetishes?

You do know that if you start telling me about your weird fetishes, I’ll pass the information to my husband the second I get home, right?

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queenbrandi-hernandez·:

Uncle Liam is so soft, it’s almost funny. I remember when he and aunt Audrey got a puppy, and I thought he was going to cry.

Alaska was almost sure that he was going to cry.

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queenbrandi-hernandez‌:

I somewhat knew what I was doing then. I had some experience. Besides, we were in love and it was very romantic. Being with each other was all that mattered.

Gods, that is cheesy as hell, and I know for a fact that things went smoothly because Bee didn’t have any weird fetishes whatsoever.

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queenbrandi-hernandez·:

I learned everything from the best. And also if there was any drama, our parents would make us hug it out or something.

That doesn’t surprise me at all. Your parents are literally the softest people that I know, aside from Liam.

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queenbrandi-hernandez‌:

Definitely not. But she did definitely find out. It’s like she has eyes and ears everywhere. You know, I still appreciate that to this day. I was in the bathroom and panicking.

It took me a little longer to text back because I had a good laugh about it first. I’m shocked you didn’t panic text me when you and Bee were in Cancun.

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queenbrandi-hernandez·:

He’ll get over it, especially since he used to hook up with not one, but two of my teammates. Besides, we have an unspoken agreement that everybody is fair game until it starts to cause drama.

That’s how it should be. When you know that drama is about to go down, just pull a Danny Phantom and go ghost.

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queenbrandi-hernandez‌:

For your information, for our first time we did. We went on a weekend vacation to Cancun. It was very romantic. I’m not totally clueless all the time.

Okay, but did you tell Audrey about that? Because it still astonishes me how she finds out about everything. And I know that you’re not clueless all the time, but to me, you will always be the young, innocent kid who took a bathroom break because you had to ask me how to make out.

[thals-g]

queenbrandi-hernandez·:

Me? Never. I know how to resist temptation. I go sweets free for a month before a big competition. I did that my birthday month once. Besides, I’m currently going for the drummer in Bran’s band. 

I can only imagine how uncomfortable Brandon is going to be when he sees his sister go after his bandmate, but you go do your thing.

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queenbrandi-hernandez‌:

Traumatized, maybe. But I also think that she liked being everybody’s main source of information. She told everybody about mine and Bianca’s first time.

That was a rookie mistake and you know it. You should’ve done it in, like, a hotel, or if you’re going to do it at home, make sure nobody else is around.

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queenbrandi-hernandez·:

Oh I do. I take inspiration from the queen herself, Cher. Men are a luxury, like dessert.

Just be careful and not be a simp for them, that’s going to give them an unnecessary huge ego boost, plus they’ll see you as an easy target.

[thals-g]

queenbrandi-hernandez‌:

Yeah that was a confusing night. I was saying you name but with Madison but missing Bianca. I don’t miss those times.

I don’t think anyone misses those times, especially Audrey. She heard everything and was traumatized.