hotel chocolat

i keep going to the river to pray, 'cos i need something that can wash all the pain 

[thandrew-blog]

( gustinfck: )

Grant frowned, rolling his eyes. “Well, I don’t think they should be scowling at you like that. Don’t they have better things to do?”, he spoke, aiming his final question at a pair of girls who were staring. Chuckling, Grant shrugged. “I don’t give a hootie hoo. If they have a problem with it, they can kiss my heiny.”, he spoke, moving his hand back to smack his own bottom. He wasn’t sure what had happened in the knick of time they were pressed together but, he had found himself growing closer to Andrew. He hadn’t ever felt this close to anyone before and now that he could possibly have this, he wasn’t sure how to act. As Andrew pulled him towards the lockers and kissed him, he was surprised, no doubt. A part of him wished he would stop yet, another part wished that he could go on with it forever. Looking to him, he back away, deciding not to wipe his lip. “Please do not apologize for that. That was quite the kiss, Mr. Garfield.”, he teased, leaning in to press another to his lips. he stayed a bit longer this tim before pulling away and smirking. “What type of chapstick do you use? Cherry or Strawberry? I’m stick in between.”, he spoke, biting his lip.

He chuckled softly at the other’s actions. “Yeah, that’s really gonna scare them off. You look like a puppy, you’re not scary.” Andrew shook his head and shrugged. “One day people will change, but until then, everyone’s judgemental.” He raised an eyebrow and couldn’t help but stare as Grant slapped his own ass. There was a fleeting feeling that Andrew wanted to do the same, but he managed to compose himself so he didn’t. He cleared his throat and tried to do his best to resist the other, but he clearly wasn’t very good at it. As soon as he’d kissed him, he knew it wasn’t right. For god’s sake, he used to bully Grant. Why would he be happy about a kiss from him? The fact he allowed it made Andrew’s eyes widen. “Wh-What? Are you sure?” But before he could question more, he was being kissed once more. It didn’t take him very long to respond, his arms wrapping around Grant and pulling him in closer. As he pulled away, he was a little breathless. “It’s cherry. My favourite.” He mused, fishing it out of his pocket and showing the other. “I uh.. You’re a pretty good kisser, Gustin.” Andrew grinned as he pulled away, licking his lips slightly. “Was that enough to forgive me?”

[thandrew-blog]

gustinfck:

Grant only shook his head, still not quite understanding the story behind Caden and Andrew. He wished that he didn’t have to be a victim of his brother’s manipulation but, here he was to this day, stading taller and stronger than ever. “Adding bully to the mix wasn’t exactly a good idea.”, he added, shaking his head as he looked around to the others. Seeing one girl who had a large scowl on her face, he rolled his eyes at her, causing her to look away. “I didn’t expectthat, really. You seemed like the most popular guy in school, alongside Caden. It’s strange, seeing as these people upset at you for being who you are.”, he spoke, shrugging solowly. As Grant heard him mention his friend, he only smirked before putting a finger to his lips. “Shh. I’m single, I only brought him to look cool.”, he confessed, nodding. As Andrew pulled him closer, he felt a strange spark, one that he would have never expected to feel with Andrew. The sparks were nice, something he hadn’t experienced in a while. As he felt Andrew lean into him, he smirked. “Well, you’ve already apologized, Garfield. I don’t think there’s much else you can do. Unless, you want to prove yourself to me?”, he trailed off, slowly pulling him closer.

Andrew simply sighed, rubbing at his forehead. “I didn’t exactly have a choice, Grant. Not that I have to explain this stuff to you, but I had my reasoning to do as he said, okay?” He scratched at the back of his neck as he looked around the room. “I don’t think it’s so much about being gay... At least, not completely it isn’t. Sure, there may be some who hate me for that, i.e the girls who thought they had a chance. And those I bullied for being flamboyant.” He sighed softly and pulled a face. “They hate me because they know now that what I did to be popular was wrong. And now that I’ve brought attention to it, they can hate me openly. It’s okay though. I prefer not to be a part of this. I was planning on finishing the drink then leaving but you clearly have another idea.” His eyes moved to the friend Grant had come with and he chuckled lightly. “I see. Don’t you think your plan will go to shit given this?” He asked, now turning back and gesturing to the way the two of them were pressed together. His eyebrow raised a little. “You have ideas on how to prove myself?” But before Grant could give an answer, Andrew was pulling Grant down the hall. Once the two of them were alone, he couldn’t help himself. His hand pulled the other in closer before he connected their lips together. Perhaps he was more drunk than he thought as his hands gripped at Grant’s hips and pressed him against the nearby locker. “S-Sorry...” He whined as he finally pulled away, blushing.

[thandrew-blog]

( gustinfck: )

Grant scoffed as he looked to Andrew. He didn’t really care whether or not Caden was Andrew’s step-brother or just his regular brother, he just knew that what he predicted was correct. “Okay, well, as a teenager, you should have known better to at least not be manipulated and treated like a child and letting people, especially people like Caden, tell you what to do.”, He ranted, rolling his eyes as he shook his head. While he accepted Andrew for who he was, he still couldn’t wrap his head around how he let Caden treat him. “I don’t want you to. It looks as if you’ve got enough hatred on you already.”, he spoke, looking to the two guys who had a scowl on their faces, looking in Andrew’s direction. Grant giggled as he watched Andrew freaked out over dancing. “C’mon then. Let’s get a bit more drunk.”, he spoke, making his way to the punch bowl. Hearing the last thing Andrew said, he stopped before smirking. “I think he’s enjoying the ladies.”, and with that, he pointed to the friend he brought with him, who was currently surrounded by multiple females. Taking a hold of Andrew’s wrist, he pulled him over to the punch bowl, fixing himself a cup and Andrew one as well. Handing it off, he smiled. “Drink up so I can get that dance in.”, he taunted, taking large gulps from his drink, finishing the cup almost immediately before refilling it again.

Andrew rolled his eyes and scoffed a little. He held his hands up, as though in defence. “Yes, I knew he was manipulating me. But it was miles better than the alternative of him telling my father about my sexuality, and leading to me being an abuse victim, as well as all the other things.” He let his hands fall and he crossed his arms across himself. “I didn’t have a choice. I was a walking disappointment, I might as well have added ‘bully’ to the mix.” He mumbled, shuffling his feet a little. A harsh laugh came from him as he nodded. “Oh, you have no idea. And this isn’t even half of how it was earlier. I expected people to throw shit at me. Especially Liz. She wasn’t exactly happy to find out her high-school sweetheart loved sucking cock even when we were together.” There was something about Grant’s giggle that made Andrew’s heart flutter. It was too adorable, it felt wrong for him to be hearing it after what he’d done. “What? I overheard you telling someone he was... That the two of you were together?” He raised an eyebrow and glanced over at the girls circling him. “Fine. Let’s just go.” Andrew downed his drink before taking Grant’s out of his hand and pulling him to the middle of the room, which had been designated as the dance floor. He bit his lip before gently pulling Grant closer. His hands gently clasping at the other’s hips as he started to sway softly. Of course, he had lied about not being able to dance... But he’d also lied about not being drunk enough... Because he definitely was. He chuckled and moved to whisper against Grant’s ear. “I don’t believe that you accept my apology... Is there anything I can do to convince you how sorry I truly am?”

[thandrew-blog]

gustinfck:

Grant was sure that what had said would happen did happen. He always felt strongly about Andrew being under his brother’s shadow and now that it was gone, Andrew was exposed and Grant was there for it all. Looking into Andrew’s eyes, he saw true guilt. He saw a feeling of sorrow and this caused him to grin. “Apology accepted.”, was all he said. Hearing about Caden, he nodded and scoffed. “Of course it would. Your brother’s never been the biggest role model.” He said, his grin growing wider. As he heard that Andrew had come out, his grin faded slightly. He had no idea, really. He was honestly expecting something else but, this? This was different. “You’re gay? How late to the party am I?” He joked and chuckled. As Andrew lifted his cup, Grant grabbed it, finishing whatever was in the cup. Grabbing Andrew’s hand, he pulled him up to his feet. “C’mon, we’re gonna dance.” He spoke, beginning to drag Andrew towards the dance floor. 

Andrew had to admit that he wasn’t expecting Grant to accept his apology. Part of him wondered if he only said he did in order to shut Andrew up, because he couldn’t understand how a simple apology like that could make up for everything that he had done. But he decided to let it be for now. Dragging it up even more would just make things worse. His eyebrows raised slightly. “First off, he’s my step brother. Secondly... I was a teenager and easily lead astray. The only way to keep my huge secret of being gay was to do as he said. My father was an old-fashioned man. He hated gays and married young women. Caden was just a package deal who controlled me.” Andrew shrugged softly. He knew he shouldn’t have come. He was better off away from all of this, but he figured he needed to set things right. “Mhm. I’ve always been gay. I just had to hide it. But, you missed me coming out by like half an hour maybe? I can try to recreate it but it won’t be as traumatising.” He whined as he watched his drink being taken off him and mumbled a weak “That was mine.” Before shaking his head quickly. “No! No... No dancing. I’m no where near drunk enough.” Andrew glanced around in panic, watching all his old peers staring at him with the person he used to bully. The last thing he needed to add was that he was a professional dancer. “I-I don’t dance.” He lied and pulled away, standing at the sides once more. “But you go! Go dance with your friend.”

[thandrew-blog]

( gustinfck: )

Grant wasn’t too sure why everyone reacted the way they did. He had expected something completely different. He had expected them to call him a “nerd” or a “pussy” like he used to be called. It was warming, knowing that everyone was accepting him for once. He was glad to hear the new change, his smile wider than usual. It was all he ever wanted, throughout high school. All he wanted was to be accepted. But, now, here he was standing in front of his main high school bully. Hearing him apologize, he shook his head. “Your apology is well-appreciated but, not accepted. If you can’t look someone in the eyes while apologizing then, what’s the point, y’know?” He explained, frowning slightly. Looking around and then back towards Andrew, Grant spoke. “You’re here alone, I see. Surprisingly.” He scoffed, foldiing his arms. “I figured your step-brother would be here but, then again, he’s probably doing exactly what I predicted.” He smiled, this one being slightly arrogant. Grant had always gotten somewhat under Andrew’s skin when he mentioned his brother. It seemed to be Andrew’s weak spot and Grant always went there. “You, however, need to loosen up.” He warned.

Andrew was happy for Grant. He was. If anyone deserved to be accepted after all this time, it sure as hell wasn’t him. Grant deserved it. But when he looked up and noticed him standing there, he just wanted to leave. He wanted to go home and enjoy the comfort of his own four walls than to see the face of the person he so wrongfully bullied. He sighed softly and finally looked up at him. “I’m sorry... Truly sorry. Nothing I can say would ever make up for what I did but... I really am sorry.” His voice was somewhat strained as he looked him in the eyes. “Caden... Caden’s engaged. He’s with his fiancée because she’s not been feeling too well recently. She’s probably pregnant, so it’ll give him an excuse to leave her.” He laughed harshly, running a hand through his hair. “As for me being alone, yes, I am. Mainly because I didn’t think bringing my friends here would be such a good idea, and everyone here... Either tried to fuck me, did fuck me or I bullied them. And since I just came out to all of them... They’re keeping their distance.” At that point, he waved at one of the people staring in his direction, only to have them turn away in disgust. “See?” Andrew turned up his nose. “Loosen up? We’re not doing sports, I rather enjoy being tense.” He mumbled, taking a sip of his drink. “I think you should just go join your friend and leave me to my own devices.” Andrew lifted his cup as though saying goodbye before moving back to sit down.

[thandrew-blog]

( gustinfck: )

Once getting the invitation to the high school reunion, Grant was worried. He wasn’t sure how everyone would like him. He was sure that everyone would treat him like the apparent loser he was when he was in high school. He was always getting beat up, particularly by one person. He could never forget that part of his life, the fact that his pain had gone unnoticed and used as “attention”. He couldn’t think about that now, he had to get dressed. He needed to find a way to impress everyone. Dressing up, he decided to take his friend along and maybe, possibly, lie about him being his boyfriend. It wasn’t long before he reached his school. Entering the large gynasium where everything and everyone was, he was immediately crowded by plenty of people. Lots of hello’s and hi’s here and there left Grant feeling a lot better about himself. However, when he noticed one person sitting by themselves, a small smirk grew on his face. He separated from everyone and walked over, approaching slowly. “Is this who I think it is?”, he teasingly started, his small smirk growing into a smile.

Andrew was hesitant about going to his dumb high-school reunion. But, he figured it would be a good way to clear the air. Once he’d arrived, he was truly annoyed by the amount of people that flocked around him, acting as though he were school royalty. Which, he was. Being one of the most popular guys in school certainly made sure everyone remembered you. Only, he didn’t want it. So he got on stage and decided to make an announcement. He apologised to everyone he hurt, told everyone that it wasn’t the person he truly was. That he never wanted to be a bully, and the only reason he did all those awful things, was so his step-brother didn’t tell everyone he was gay. There were naturally many gasps at his coming out, but he didn’t care. Instead, he walked to the edge of the room and sat alone. That was, until, his train of thought was interrupted about an hour later. He sighed, and spoke before looking up, not recognising the voice. “Look, if you’re another one coming to tell me that bei...” He trailed off as he finally looked up, and his face fell even more. “Gr-Grant? Wow... You uh... You look...” Andrew sighed and stood up, playing with the buttons on his suit. “I just want to apologise. For... For everything. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was young, foolish and I shouldn’t have hurt you. So, I’m sorry...”