that bitch archives

(i'm not her)

[thatbitchreblogs]

all of @thatbitchery's posts. Or at least as many I could get my hands on.

this is an archival blog BECAUSE SHE KEEPS DELETING EVERYTHING.

xx

[yoursovereignhighness]

The art of focusing on what you want is the most important thing you'll ever do.

If you ask my man he's an anti feminist. Actually abolish feminism. Feminism ruined the world. In action, however, he's more feminist than I am. He thinks relationships should be 70/40 where he takes up 70% of the work and I'll do 30 because being female is hard enough. He thinks bride price should be paid to the bride not her father as back up money in case the wedding doesn't work out she has a backup. He thinks (knows) my money is my money his money is our money. He has more to say about women getting hurt in media and the glorification of female pain than I do. However, if you ask him, feminism is bad. What's important to me is a feminist, not someone that says they're a feminist. That's why he's my man.

When I'm booking an Airbnb / place to stay all I care about is wifi, swimming pool and hot water plus location. All these other things are useless to me. There's sauna there's gym there's bla bla no one cares. No you can't charge me more for things I don't care about. Is there a pool?wifi? Hot water shower? Booked. Charging me extra for shit I won't even use is funny who cares about gym do I look like I work out (I do). So I don't let places overcharge me for bs I don't care about.

3. I don't care about follower count because this is Tumblr I'm not getting paid. If it was Instagram id care. A LOT. Id be kissing up trying to placate everyone making sure I've served everyone's tiny little feelings because I will be getting paid. And I'm a gold digger I do, in fact, only care about money. So if Iog in and I have a new follower okay I guess who cares. If Iog in and I lost fifty okay. What do I care about? Having somewhere to pour my mother energy. That's it.

3. I had a topic I went to therapy for and as soon as I sorted it out I dropped out. No I don't want to spend hours talking about how shitty my daddy was that's past. Also I have a diary and I also studied psychology I'm here for this ONE thing because I can't figure it out. So when my first therapists kept trying to get me to trauma dump instead of dealing with the topic at hand I dropped them until I found my last therapist and made it clear from day one I'm here to talk about this thing. Yes I know my daddy is shitty and that ruined me. It's not something I'm willing to pay 3/4 of my salary for, though, so let's talk about this one thing. And when I felt huh I understand it now? Bye. Thank you.

4. I'm more nutrition focused than taste focused. So if you give me the best tasting thing BUT the nutrition is wack im not touching it. For this reason I almost never eat out because I need to know what you're putting in my plate I will not spend my money to buy cancer and autoimmune diseases etc. So even if you drag me to a seventeen Michelin star I'm getting fruit juice and specifying do NOT add anything squeeze that damn fruit. I don't careeee I want to know what's on my plate. So seven star two star one star negative five stars I'm getting fruit juice and if there's none I'll take salad, get two bites and throw the rest out. I'm too spiritual for that careless shit, my body is my temple.

5. What's important to me is feeling welcome. So if I was to go to four seasons and they made me feel unwelcome I'll just check out same day and go find some Airbnb in the countryside where host would worship me for existing and be there. Roadside cafe small business where they pack my orders with utmost care and write me a note and pin a picture of me on the wall>>> Prada or Hermes or Michelin star.

6. What's important to me in clothes is durability. Second third fourth fifth sixth ninth hand cloth with gold stitching, color still intact and material that's durable , comfortable and environmental friendly. So Chanel / miumiu and their annoying ass polyester aren't touching me I'll buy the 100% cotton from a zero name brand for 20$ that will last me my whole lifetime , not give me micro plastics and not look like chewed cud after every wash.

a) know what's important to you

b) stick to that.

What's important to you??? Yeah focus on that forget all else.

[yoursovereignhighness]

Decision making is hard for you because you genuinely believe : a) there is such a thing as right and wrong, good and bad b) You can, in fact, control the future.

Both beliefs are wrong. First of all, there is no good, no bad, just experience and perspective. People that lost jobs during covid would say Covid was bad. People that gained jobs during covid (influencers, &c) think its the best thing to ever happen. Experience and perspective. IS this good? is this bad? how misled. How do I make this work?

The idea that there's a good thing is making you stay stuck in limbo because you're trying to get the good. But that doesn't exist. Things just happen. RiGhT DeCiSiOn no just decision, and then whatever happens, happens. ladies we talked about this, remember? There's no such thing okay? In six years you look back from a different perspective and the interpretation of the experience is different. From Oh MY GoD I CaNt BeLiEvE I wAs FiReD to thank god I lost that job.

Second. You should've known this by now but just in case its knowledge but not belief- you can NOT control the future pls studying Medicine doesn't mean you'll work in the profession. Could you predict Covid? When you were making plans for 2020 did you say hehe also we will be in Lockdown so let me- NOPE. It just happened. Life just happens. The universe is in fact, a mind of its own. You do NOT have as much control as you'd wish. You could get fired. Become disabled. meet someone new and everything changes. Have an experience that changes everything. The future EVENTS are completely out of your control, regardless of what your manifesting Guru told you.

So then what is life about? Adaptation. If I HaVe No ConTRoL ThEn- yes you do. Over yourself. Which the only one you need but ah I digress.

So making decisions is hard because you're thinking you're some kind of god. And this mindset does have its own place yes but not here. Just decide. Just pick one and stick to it. If it works like you wanted okay. If it doesn't also okay. Just pick one.

How to deal with indecision? Just decide. Just pick one. You have options, yes? Pick one.

Not forever, at some point you will have to start thinking. And the prerequisite to that is knowing who you are. If I said land or Ocean? And you know you are fish you just say ocean you don't have to overthink. But if you don't know what you are you overthink it maybe whole time you are bird. So my message will ALWAYS be know yourself. Learn who you are. Not your ideal not your prime not the best your bla la. just who am I? Everything else will follow. BUT UNTIL YOU GET THERE just pick one.

There's no good or bad decision, just decision. You can not control future events anyway.

so just pick one and go. You'll adapt.

[yoursovereignhighness]

"For You" mentality because I am god over here. I don't know who you are talking to but I know for a fact its not me.

ThiS iS ToO HaRd yeah for you. For YOU. YoU CaN'T no babes YOU cant. I can. I will. I am. Sit back and watch. Just shushhh and watch do you know what I am? This is MY world you're just in it sit down please. BuT WhAt If oh who cares. I'll make it work. I'll make it all work.

My one little life that the good lord gave to me to rejoice and be glad in and be fruitful and multiply in is the one you expect me to live according to your little limited mindsets? If you could just not? Yeah can you not?

I can. I will. I did. I AM.

[yoursovereignhighness]

what's the difference of being kind vs being nice? how do I balance this?

Kindness comes from a place of humanity, while niceness comes from a place of manipulation. When you are kind you're authentic to yourself, but making the choice to be humane in delivery while when youre nice you're attempting to control the outcome of a situation to fit whatever is safe or dersiable to you.

example. I asked if you can do my share of work for me. You do not want to. If you were kind you'd say "Im not sure i could help you there" and let it at that. If you were nice youd say "Sure I'd love to!"

Both have their place, and its all dependent on consequences. Be nice to people that have more power than you so you don't suffer from ego. Reality beats idealism. In an ideal world you should be able to be kind and thats it. In reality being nice will do you more favors, depending on power and consequences.

For example, your parents are your parents whether they like it or not. So you can be kind with them and face the consequences and still be okay. If mom says wear this dress today you can say "I can see you like it a lot, but I'll feel insecure in it so I think I'll wear that one" and maybe she will be mad and you'll be punished. That doesn't change the fact that she's your mom. If you're lucky you can reach some consensus. Okay I dont like this because style and color. You don't like that because its too revealing. Lets try for a third one- this one here. If your boss says dress code is this you do just that. You say oh thats great, red is actually my favorite color! and then roll your eyes inward and cringe daily. Because the consequences are you lose your job. So be nice.

[yoursovereignhighness]

Something that I've had to learn in my spiritual and life journey is no one actually cares for proof people either believe you or not. You don't even need to prove yourself that much. I used to lead with my credentials I have studied this and that and this and that so you can trust me and then learned a) This is something only women do. NEVER has a man said yeah I learned evolutionary psychology so trust me on this. Just straight up audacity. b) No one caressss. Ever since I stopped leading with credentials and just said it conversations are better. Back when I'd say oh well I am studying aviation so THESE are the rules of aerodynamics people challenged me because I tried to establish some kind of hierarchy in the conversation so because ego and free will and nature they immediately rebelled. But now when I just say oh the rules of aerodynamics are these- people just say oh yeah sure - and the conversation is better.

leading with proof you know what you're talking about is a sign of insecurity. If you told me girl you're insecure thats why you need everyone to know you're smart etc I would've laughed at you. Have you met my ego? If I am insecure who tf is secure. If you said hey actually trying to prove what you're saying is true based on credentials is actually making your life harder people just want to talk and if they cared for pure professional facts ChatGPT is right thereeeeeeeeee they're just trying to talk to you haha I would've rolled my eyes. But now I see it. hehe.

[yoursovereignhighness]

BASE ONE.

Thats what you're looking for. In high school I had a teacher that kept reminding us that life is already hard so you don't need to make it hard. And how do you do this, you stick to base one. To the most simple base you can.

Base 1 has a simple formula thats more paralell than lateral. Problem x Solution run parallel to Root causation x prevention.

Example. You have a problem with your skin- hyperpigmentation. The solution is pretty simple- even skin tone. So that side of the equation is pretty much done. On the other side, parallel to this, you have root and prevention. Whats the root of your hyperpigmentation? Probably scarring, because you keep bursting your pimples. Okay so whats prevention? Don't burst pimples. Maybe get pimple patches. Heal your inflammation whatever way is available.

These two equations are base 1.

Get whatever will cause cell turnover and healing (say, retinol) on side one. And then on side two you have just don't get inflammation and when you do, do NOT burst and consider pimple patches.

Easy. Base 1. Simple. Don't complicate it with 67997757 step skin care steps. What's the problem? okay what's the solution? Okay done. On the other side, what caused this, okay what do you prevent it so you don't run into the same problems forever?

simple. Base 1.

[thatbitchreblogs]

She deactivated her profile

well its been a good run :(

[thatbitchery]

The fastest easiest way for a woman to improve her life is simply to dress better and look better that's it. That's literary it thats all it takes for extroverted outdoors women to improve their living situations.

Going downtown and the girls are dressing like they were forced into some kind of uniform how unfortunate.

Listen there is a science for dressing, and its as much what are you dressing for as it it where are you? I told you human beings are herd animals with crab mentality if you make yourself stand out and too singularized they will attack you and chase you down and wear into you until you fall into line, but then there's no benefit in being basic wallflower herd follower with no individuality so you have to strike a bargain. A midpoint. I'm yours in a way you can't hurt me over and also I'm not yours because I'm better.

When I was in university I had to go with Hailey Bieber basic clean girl aesthetic because I was an Immigrant on scholarship I couldn't Melania Trump / Lara Rajj it'd upset too much at once and it kept me safe but no billionaires were seeing me on the streets asking me out. The girls that came to class in the wedges and full beat face and fur used to get driven in by wealthy older Chinese men and if that was my goal I'd have done that. They were upsetting the idea of boring uni girl on drugs so their classmates would talk about them negatively in group chats and make them ethe punchline and butts of jokes but guess who had a ready little job waiting for them even before graduation and who is still searching for jobs. Exactly. In my neighborhood most ladies go for a Carolyn Basette kind of blond hair lip filler Alo pilates sets and simple jeans and cardigan because being skinny is the look aesthetic and it fits the socialite look but no one is asking them to be the cover of anything. Was taking a walk other day and there's this Japanese housewife in high ponytails and 2000s skinny with the eyelashes and fur and boots and absolute mobwife in red lipstick and you can just sense her in every room because she has that superstar confidence and she gets asked to be in editorials even though there really is no other reason. She plays piano beautifully and had an interior decor firm once but that's not what gets her asked to be on magazines its not what's making the local papers and news houses and event organizers follow her Instagram. Other housewives think she's flashy and whatnot but it works for her because she's foreign so she's already 'new' a white girl couldn't get away with that. Before I got married I ditched the Hailey Bieber clean look for a more Kendall-Jenner polo sweaters and blouses and tailored pants and high pony and darker make up to fit in the office and it worked because most girls my age were doing the tank-top jeans thing and got me taken seriously and treated better and given priority in assignments in comparison and got me my man so it worked.

LOOK at it this way- if you're living in a small village in the middle of nowhere full glam Lara Raj showstopper will get you pushed out and laughed at but Kendall Jenner - Carolyn Basette basic will get you the local doctor which is all things considered the best you can do there. Having clear skin and tailored and steamed silhouette cutting clothes and beautiful shoes will get you an assistants job where you're not too tired like if you worked in a farm and the local girls will look up to you and make you a socialite BUT if you live ina major city like London you're so uninspiring so go for Melania Trump Lara Rajj Cookie Lyon type of glam, big hair big looks bold cuts so you get yourself the local fboy that likes to throw money around to get you on a yatch and then when you get yatch owner you can tone it down to an Alexandra Lelerc cold style or you can be a socialite with the flashy looks and work instagram and London circles and make your way. If you're in high school/college ditch the ugly tank and jeans for more subtly tailored youthful fits and boots and heels and participate in activities and clubs to e campus socialite and get printed in the school paper and flyers and build a slow social media career so you get in your bag early.

looks is the first way you communicate its your first line soilers for impressing why would you waste that on acne and polyester when you could be clear skin and heavy eye make up and loose pony and tailored clothes and an upright posture and be an instant yes? My husband explaining to me the first thing he noticed about me was my Lauren sweaters and blouses and linen pants instead of the Ugly White Tank and actual eye make up and lip and scent in opposition to the usual annoying clean girl that everyone and their aunt is doing for what reason and my one high pony I haven't yet put down because his type is women who don't try too hard and still do something. See I was a repellent for the local fboys because they either went for the boring Hailey Bieber basic girl with nos elf esteem that'll let them hit easy or the hyper confident Lara Raj (She's so tea btw saw her and I'm obsessed????) to pour money on as a form of flexing. So if thats your type?? Fur up babygirl???

Hypergamy coaches are either 100000% lying to reduce competition and ruin y'all for the dating market OR have no idea what they are talking about because that one K-drama chanel set has been haunting the streets of Level up societies like girl please stop put that down? You look like a box?? I went down FemTube looking for rich girl fits to reccomend to my girls so they're not downtown in meetings being handed the responsibility to carry crates and open soda cans and serve kids and other ugly girl activities and damn these bloggers hate you fr. As a girl why would you reccomend boxy ass shoulders sharp cuts to the girls ahy would you reccomend beige socialite that has to not upset the rich girls by outdressing them fits to my ladies that deserve their doors opened for them really? I kinda feel sad now that I only put together a shipping for clothes guide and capsule wardrobe guide I should've thrown in a dressing guide LORD. Femtube needs a remake of bloggers or something please ditch the boy blazers and jackets yes? And the mom jeans and jeans in general??? And the stilettos unless you're trying to break your back?? And the red bottoms please no and the YSL heels they haunt me so bad I see them every gathering like girl pls only thing that says about you is youre stupid and a people pleaser please lets not? And the heeled boots what are we doing guys.

The way you dress is why at family gatherings they give you the babies to hold and salad to slice up and crates to carry girl its the acne and the brittle hair thats on its last breath ok the boys in class treat you like one of the boys because you look like the boys lets not. I taught you to do your hair and nails in my capsule wardrobe guide I taught you what not to buy how to smell nice how to not carry your own suitcase downstairs yes? LORD.

[thatbitchery]

Hello! Can you give some insight into how you made 7 figures and how you would advise someone else who aspires to do the same? Any actionable tips / next steps?

uhm. It's a literal decade of trying and failing ad discipline and when I say discipline I don't mean I've been disciplined I was 22 showing off buying designer lmao I mean trying ( and a lot of times at the start) failing to build discipline.

Money is a people game and seven figures you either Marry into, sue into, win the lottery or (and I advice this) dip into business. Money is made in business. Everything else is just, in financial terms, coping. You have to try like 10 businesses that fail sometimes and then sometimes make you 10k in one month and 0 for six and then another you mess up and pay all profit to lawyers and some you forget even existed until you're filing your taxes and it's oh I made 7k haha nice and then you find your gold mines.

Service business>> goods business. Reccuring business >> one time purchase. You remember what happened to Tupperware right? Boring businesses make the most money. I've made crazy crazy actually wild money off a car wash it's not even funny. When you get some stacks, or if you have them, buying a business>> building one, because then all the hard work has been done for you. Acquisition/ acquihire >> founder / founding.

Hire people with ethics not people you like. Hardworker that does their job >> personality hire whose dad you know . I learned this the hard way trust. Only 10% of ppl do 90% of the work. Fire the rest.

Don't risk money you're not ready to lose. If it's not disposable throw it into a unit trust and let it beat inflation.

Find something or someone to do it for. Take it for me Doing It For Yourself is just TikTok lingo and sell courses lingo it's not even biologically / psychologically possible. Being obsessed with yourself? Good luck. Being obsessed with showing someone else specific THAT version of you? Actually fucking works. If you have to think man I can not let the high school bullies catch me being this dusty you will look better in comparison to I deserve to look better for me that's just girlboss lingo we throw around it's against nature itself. Find someone or something you wanna do it for. This is wild , but find someone or a point that makes you feel like you're never enough all the time..then commit to proving it wrong. The FuTuRe VerSiOn Of yOu is just level up lingo girl human brains do not think of the future we are stuck in the past. Remember that one teacher? Yeah. Prove her wrong. Act like she's watching your every move.

Again. Money is a people game .no one is giving you 1M unless you're playing the seduction game well (I've seen it. I have) but you want investments? Wtf is iNtroVerTed what is SoCiaL anxiEty what is I lIkE beiNg aT hOme lmao get out learn charisma learn how to people. My first business was me and some boy in high school in the library talking down on someone we don't like and the 'contract' was just us hotmailing each other the agreements and it's not a billion dollar company but it's there. Still. Somehow. Learn to people. Actually like people. Being with people. No one cares about your trauma babe do you want to go public or not?

Leave your morals and sensivities at home especially if you're hoping for the eight to nine figures line you will have to sign contracts and pitch to some pedo that is looking at you like meat and trying to feel you up and it's either your MoRaLs or your deal. your choice. Good girls can't play this game. You want a deal you play the person not your annoying good girl loser programming from your pick me ass mom and coward dad and misogynistic ass society. Eyes on the prize. Walk. There's a reason women that only put in 30 hour weeks are on Xanax. You make deals with the devil every day. ESPECIALLY IF YOU GO INTO FINANCE I wish you the best.

Have tangible goals. Make 8 figures? Lol lame. Sell to this major corp. That's a goal you can reach. You can't try and make 9 figures that's a wish, but you sure as hell can work into selling out to a big corp that will abso fucking lutely cough out 9 figures in exchange. Tangible followable goals what is make 50k this month HOW?? Selling journals?? Still not a tangible goal try for make 500 marketing videos this month. THAT you can do, no?

Have people. Big money big people. Like I said leave your American ass mental health at home get you lawyer, tech bro, finance bro, police / military bro and socialite. PEOPLE GAME.

As far as you can, be independent. Don't sell out too much. Keep your money close and your rights closer.

Closed mouths do NOT get fed.

The book The Laws of Marketing is my one business book. I have the copy. Not /a/ copy, THE copy. Buy it off me if you can . ;)

[thatbitchery]

Second half of the year tips

Lying. Start lying more. Be a liar and be good at it. Lie lie lie

Be selfish

If it doesn't concern you let it be

Don't be a hero. Never be the hero. You're not Jesus don't play savior

Say less than you need to. Always. Perfect one word answers and even better- smiling your way out of it (if you cant do this are you even a girl). The extreme power of smiling your way out of questions

Success is a numbers game. There's security in numbers. Where the numbers are security is. Don't be stupid and fall out with people look where the greatest numbers are and align with that. Best way will always be religion.

Mind the business that pays you.

Narrow down. Pick one thing and focus on that. Youre not getting anything done because you keep starting new things without finishing them.

Protect your cognitive resources. Keep away from things that make you lose focus or displace your emotion and reaction . Don't consume too much content stop with the 7 seconds that ruin your focus cycle and ability stop watching news stop filling your head with negativity read and bake and go for drives and ignore all that. Protect your brain and emotion at all costs . AT ALL COSTS

therapy. CBT .take your vitamins .take your minerals. Heal your gut. Eat clean. Be healthy. EVERYTHING could end one day just because you won't take care of your health .walk , eat clean, work out, drink water. Take care of the body you came in.

Fall in love with life. Fall in love with being alive so you're not in some sort of escapism 24/7. Fall in love with being alive.

Have people. There's no power in isolation, have people.

Fortune favors the bold.

Emergency fund. Investments / high yield savings. Give business a chance. Set a financial goal and reach it. Get your finances in order. Have a budget. Use cash or credit to build your credit score. We don't shop online in this house. Live below your means. Choose what is important to spend on and forget the rest. No you don't need new clothes no you don't need a new phone no you don't need to buy that you need to put money into early retirement.

Highly educated. Hot. Sexy. Rich.

Stay AWAYYYYY from men. Even if you are a man stay away from other men.

Sit upright. With your back OFFF the backrest. OFF it. Upright.

Get some sun pls its summer.

Experience freedom. Easiest way is high speed movement. Drive with the windows down buy a bike or skates or motorbike experience your hair in the wind and fast movement.

Set your Feng Shui. Seriously. Straighten your Feng Shui out.

experience community as much as you can.

Use Black and White screens..your phone your ipad your tablet your laptop all that. Black and White. Black and White.

Buy Me A Coffee

[theaskscenter]

Mother I don't think therapy is working 🥀

aw honey it almost never works. Almost never. I went through half a dozen therapists and the one that helped me costs like a small apartment bc they're rich people therapists and they don't follow the same mold as the rest? They don't even go by 'therapist' they go by 'counsellor'

You know what I'd bet on? Group therapy / community/ communal therapy. Anything that works in groups works. There's security in numbers. If that doesn't (and it also fails quite a lot. Like, A LOT but is still more effective than individual/ personal therapy), pull an accountability partner / personal coach.

Therapy was probably effective 20 years ago when we didn't have the internet but rn if I need to know why I act the way I act I can just ChatGPT / google it.

Why we act the way we act based on personal history is so grossly overrated in mental health and I'm saying this as someone that wanted at some point to be a therapist. Like ok now I know I'm lazy because my mom didn't love me so what. NOW WHAT. like do I need to know why a car works the way it works? No I just need to know how to use it? Now that I know who invented cars what am I supposed to do with this information? Why is not as important as how and that's why therapy fails so much. Now that you know what happened was abuse, now what? Who cares just give me the tools I need to do what I need to to do omg. And even that usually fails because there's always initial resistance and lack of consequences. What's the difference between your therapist saying do X and your professor saying do X? At least with your professor there are consequences like you can fail your class what will your therapist do? Which is why in my extremely educated opinion CBT>>>>> traditional therapy. And why I tell you if you don't see tangible results in two months (and how you feel is not results) drop out. And even CBT fails ALL THE TIME.

Listen I won't go into the science of it but human beings are mammals and mammals are hedonistic in nature. If there are no consequences to not doing it and you have no internal discipline you won't do it. The same way fish swim people want the easiest lath it's nature. If you know you'll get away with not completing your to do list why would you bother completing it. Laziness is INNATE to people. It's in your blood it's mammalian. Knowing your dad was shitty will not change that.

If you don't have crazy stupid money skip the therapy invest in an accountability partner that'll cost you like 100$ a month and get shit done youll heal and learn as you go. Again speaking and minors in Evolutionary Psychology a lot of pain is just lack of comprehension and you will, in fact, learn as you get older. Time does, in fact, heal.

[thatbitchery]

There's a common misconception among level up and success circles about the kind of woman that achieves her goals. When I go through female level up spaces often I see the Amal Clooney Lori Harvey type characters in the pictures and it's because that's the kind of woman most women aspire to be. When I talk to girls about what they want to be it's always Skinny Clear Skin Hot Always Put Together Hardworking Follows a Strict Routine type, and that's why you're stuck and stunted in your journey. This is why you won't achieve anything. Because that's not real. That's not real at all I'm sorry and that's why I say most of these girls on these spaces are downright lying to you so you need to look at the world around you and the one inside you and realized no you're not stupid no you're not dumb no youre not that unique or special and the life you live is the life hundreds if not thousands of women have lives like yours so no you're not isolated in this and you should just use your brain. Like respectfully, learn to think for yourself instead of guzzling up information you get online like an empty vessel. Think. At least try to.

I am INCREDIBLY successful and I know this for a fact because I achieved all my goals before I hit 25, and then some more. I had a depressive episode back there when I started this blog because I had no motivation to do anything because I already did everything I wanted so what's even left to do? And the paradox is when I was still chasing my dreams is when I looked successful the most, Yves Saint Laurent and Chanel and Dior make up, and now I just don't care that much for it. The person I was at 20 is literally supreme I was waking up at 4 am and doing a full face make up and walking these streets in Louboutin's in winter then yesterday I took a walk in sandals and shorts and a bun no make up no nothing. And it made sense why girls in these spaces chase aesthetics so much, because you feel like that's what success is placed to look like and you feel like okay looking a certain way is half od it, but it's not. I recently watched this video by a billionaire heiress (The name is Albina something on YT) and she said how when her family was almost bankrupt she was posting in chanel and Armani every ten seconds then when they made their billions back she couldn't care less. Which ties to the Anna Delvey paradox of how she'd run around in H&M and had billionaires and people fooled. My husband and I were at a networking summer event thing hosted by his office and there's this one person I wanted to be friends with so bad I'd commit crimes for it that has such a stake in the spaces I'm in and we were introduced bla bla and I remember him pointing out a lady with a Birkin and saying that's the one he'd take home for the night, bring to a cruise and then ghost because it was obvious she was hungry for status because who brings a Birkin to a fun networking event? That's Monaco escort behavior the real ladies that were secure in themselves and positions didn't come to compete for social class. A hypergamy lady n Instagram said that Chanel jacket (God i hate it SO MUCH) is getting you escort profiled, like the chin fillers and lip injections. You walk in the affluent areas and usually couples that are matched are very average looking the bombshell platinum blondes with BBLS are usually with Donald Trump type oldies. My husband's neighbor is a polish couple that looks so painfully average Priscilla Zuckerberg and husband look vogue worthy. When my husband and I met I was wearing a plain asf blue Ralph Lauren sweater and nameless pants and a tote bag not dior tote like the instagram totes that look like they cost 0.003 $ to make and push back braids and nothing else.

Why am I telling you all these?

Aesthetics are a measure of how insecure you are. When I was 20 during covid and I'd just come from whatever tf high school was surviving by staying lowkey and being the power in silence I was secure in myself because everyone around me was by all means , and by birth and upbringing, better than me and I'd found my space in that, then went back home and felt the need to prove to everyone I am successful and bought a car renovated the house all that donated to the local school was slaying in covid looking like a rich k-drama housewife plunging through my money knowing now I have no source of it because I was insecure and anted everyone to know actually yes I did make it. Hair done 24/7 broke quarantine to get a facial throwing money around like all and no I didnt go bankrupt but damn I blew up so much and for what? And then came back with almost no money staring from almost zero again dripping in YSL and coco Chanel and full glam in summer sun and the perfect social media posts.

There's a lady in my church that gives me so much pressure just by the way she exists. And she's so- simple. Sunday she came in a simple linen set and hair in a simple low ponytail and natural nails clear gel perpendicular to that chair and I was just thinking JESUS I want to be her so much. Such effortless elegance. Yet she bikes around and brings her 'tacky' Stanley cup and has this one suede bag (I have BEGGED her for the brand holy gatekeeping) that she brings everywhere and this cheappp mint gum that I tried once and almost threw up. She gives me so much pressure I. When I see her I immediately check my posture and think maybe I overdid it with the leather bag? She has that laid back Kerry Washington confidence and she's so plain looking? There's a lady in my gym that I'm conmsidering just giving free coahing and lessons to because? Platinum bleach blonde extensions that I know for a FACT are ruining your hair ma'am. And she's so- perfect- but no. It's just- I feel bigger next to her. By textbook definition she's what makes it to the thumbnails of those female level up videos but ? ?? I just don't feel it. And I've been thinking about it because when I was 20 she would have given me so much pressure and I'd be thinking maybe I need a new Dior palette?

Achieving your goals does have a lot to do with how you look I will not lie BUT on today's episode of I know what I want to say but don't know how to say it, PLEASE stop listening to these people and just think about it. Just think about it. I tell my girls to ditch the designers and go thrifting for no name brands because that Bulgari isn't sending the message you're thinking it does. And obviously I lost the plot of what I was going to say BUT i still stand by what I said. Even if it's not what I was going to say.

WHAT i was going to say is more often than not that has nothing to do with how successful you are and then give you a How_To_Actually_Be_Succesful list. Which would've been choose 3 things you want to work on and forget the rest. Washing your face 3 times is stripping you of natural oils and will not make you a millionaire, and neither will waking up at 4 am? So much of that information is so mepty which is why you need to learn to think for yourself. "MiLLiOnaiRE HaBitS" lol no no one is doing all that stop. Open a business work on what does any of that have to do with working out at 5 am? Millionaires are made by businesses not investing and not drinking chia? Clear minds are made by reducing the noise input ie delete social media do NOT keep up with current affairs what does waking up that early have to do with any of it? So much of the information out there is so much trash and GOD I'm glad I wasn't watching Iman Ghanzi at 20 bc I tried watching it and I was like do you hate your followers? Then turns out he sells courses so ah ok I get it now it makes sense. EsCapE tHe MaTrix lol dominate the matrix why would you leave a controlled space for whatever is out there? ManiFeSt please stop. Set a schedule follow it. Gosh. Y'all will do EVERYTHING but what really matters

OPEN A BUSINESS non one cares which one just do it?

CLEAR YOUR MIND why is your screentime 8 hours and 6 are from social media? Do you not like yourself? God forbid you have an original thought?

GO OUTSIDE. Pick up a hobby that demands being ouside. Skate or something. '

MOVE YOUR BODY and eat gut healthy food and practise IF?

HAVE PEOPLE.

Buy Me A Coffee

[thatbitchery]

Propaganda I'm not falling for

Religion, culture or faith

'Level up' that does not take into consideration you as a person (reminder level ups are custom made)

A man as a financial plan (genuine question do we not watch the news)

Every letter after LBG in that spectrum be so fr

Anti radical feminist propaganda

Gay men as allies

Political inclinations that do not serve you

'Hard-Launching' your partner

Morality and ethics

Female Based terms of degradation

'Girl's Girl'????????????????

The Hot Rich Nice Girl. lol.

Escaping The Matrix

Gay Men x Women solidarity. Lmao. James Charles AU

Obedience, loyalty and allegiance.

Waking up at 4 am (Gets a pass for morning people but this is about me)

Baby Mama culture?????????????????????????

Corporate and social slavery

Friend groups of more than 3. Okayyyyyyy

Plastic surgery

Talent based marketing (I was supposed to do this long post of why K-pop and C-pop are the kings of the entertainment industry and as a woman I despise them but as a raging capitalist I bow to them. Gods among men. Remind me. Was going to do this as my 'How to be a God post)

Not eating junk being called a 'diet'

Liv Schmidt (But I love her)

Neurotypicals (everyone is on the spectrum idc)

'Humanity'

Male Loneliness Epidemic (Just natural selection??)

Women being in love with men

Anti intellectualism

Whatever the BET even is about

Ghetto culture being Black culture (Stares in African)

That '100 most handsome men in the world' list. Y'all wake up and just lie

PoP tHe BaLoOn and other humiliation rituals

Street interviews

Male Gynecologists

DeCLiniNG BirTh RaTes

[theaskscenter]

Mother I am officially sick of these people thinking we're in Malèna or something and sometimes the laughs makes me question myself when I'm having a bad mood yes I'm not embarrassed to say that .

Since I was a teenager,I always seemed to get attention no matter how basic and low confident I was inside and every body I get out with starts talking about how I almost broke everyone's head and how girls look pissed off but I didn't get it that much ... People scared me

I became confident and more into my looks bc I'm in the beginning of my twenties blah blah but it started to provoke people more especially women which always made it hard for me to have friends or real ones only when I was a people pleaser loser in school.and whenever I visit a doctor or something they think I've a big position here or that I'm a rich girl whose feet never touched the ground . *Had to mention this so you know how far it is going* the bad effect that it also went to the point where they'd start to belittle me by laughing or literally hitting me hard on the shoulders or pushing where there's no one around. I once got hit very hard by this woman I almost felt like my shoulder got broken for days. No exaggeration ~ and yes Ik when it's on purpose. None of them apologized.I'm autistic and I can't even bear that anymore but who doesn't love attention? I want to make it work to my advantage because having that much of a strong presence seems to be my ultimate power what's your advice on that ? I gave up on having friends for now too and I saw that matching my energy to what I appear to be -cocky and all that- is the solution especially while living in a small town, looking pissed off and a total bitch makes them shrink because why would a confident woman behave like that? This much attention bc of the way I walk scares me when I get home and my mind starts playing all that but my major and everything I'm into literally requires that energy and that strong presence and I need to know how to handle it(?)so ai can win . I deserve big and better places and my energy seems to be my golden spoon idc . I got a bit -maybe- paranoid to the point that I now I'm worried about how jealous ppl with strong positions would try to bring me down bc of this too so I really should know how to handle such people bc I don't only have it all but I'm super creative and have a unique mindset that also provokes basic people like them cause damn I'm no Malèna I've angel issues *anger*

First, I think I've said this so much that its beginning to sound cliche and losing its power- women don't like each other. Women hate each other. And its not even personal its socialization and mostly evolution. That girl's girl bs is just that, bs. IF women don't hate you its because you are ugly and not competition. If everyone likes you its because you are harmless. Feminine nature is competitive. Intercompetitive. Think 3 million years ago, what it was like to be female, you'll see its a necessity. When girls don't like you that's normal. Social media sells girl's girl so much you're just ugly and useless. The same way no one is fighting a child. The easiest place to see this is pop culture. For women, beauty is power. Men thrive in community thats why they defend each other like that they needed to be in a pack to hunt. Women have, since the beginning of humanity, needed isolation and power to survive. So while men hype each other up for being rich (For men money is power) women tear each other down for being pretty. Its just how things are fish swim birds fly yada yada all that.

Again. Look at the world around you and think. At least try. See how things work so you don't suffer for nothing.

Second. God, I love you. I love it when people ask the right questions instead of acting like my inbox is a church confessional and I'm selling good nice girl propaganda. I had to read this 3 times to make sure you are asking what I thought you are and yes you are. Made my sunday. I love hot girls amen. Welcome to my page and my space.

SO. HOW TO USE YOUR BEAUTY I can't tell you that because it depends on what kind of pretty you are. Your energy has to be complimented by your looks they have to go hand in hand. If you are the queen energy mysterious pretty like will Lori Harvey you should take the soft power mystery route everything else will be fake. If you are the babyface Tyla Jang wonyoung Selena Gomez pretty you have to take the nice girl pretty BUT people will try to walk all over you so instead of Hailey Baldwin soft power you have to take the Selena Gomez soft power. You have to weaponize your 'innocence'. If you are bad bitch pretty like Rihanna is you HAVE to take the big energy I'm the highest in this room and you peasants bore me path. Like Nicki Minaj does it. The strong outward power. If you have the kind of beauty that's contained like Kendall Jenner or Anok Yai you have to take the I'll mind my business and you'll also mind my business route.

I can't tell you what to do with it because I don't know it. And no I'm not turning the attachment feature for my asks on figure it out. What I can tell you is, for women beauty is power. Whether you use it or its used against you is up to you, but one way or the other it will be wielded by someone against another.

Did I mention that I like you?

Also on the topic, why is it important to you that people like you? Ladies I've said this before, if they don't pay your bills they don't matter. Like, if they did like you, then what? Would you sign a billion dollar deal? Now that they don't like you are you dead? Literally what have you lost that you can't live without? Human approval is so fickle and people don't matter that much. Also, and most importantly- do YOU like them??? Then who cares that they don't like you? This way of thinking is so weird to me I'd get it if they paid your bills but do they? Who even are they that this matters?

Also consider just being a bully to your bullies but don't go to jail.

[thatbitchery]

On Today's episode of me doing everything but the thing I actually get paid to do, here's some subtle things that tell you're a people pleaser

Explaining yourself when there's no consequence to being misunderstood. In fact in my books this is a sign of a weak backless wet tissue person. The people pleaser need to be understood has roots in trauma and bla bla as does everything but I find it the most disgusting because why are you doing that. When you rush to clear your name when there's literally no consequence to it not being cleared you give off such submissive vibes and mark yourself for bullying and you'll find the more you explain yourself the more you get misunderstood. People don't misunderstand you because they don't have adequate information they do it because it makes them feel bigger and stronger. And when you play into it you just feed into the monster. If they wanted to understand you they'd have looked for the truth before making baseless accusations.

Arguing. I'm going to need you all to stop doing this why are you so intent on being right? We've talked about this before, everyone else is right. You are wrong. Argument is sibling and husband/wife privilege everyone else is 100000% right let it go. STOP engaging people's egos pls. If you don't share parents or a contact in AG joining you in matrimony they literally do not matter. Spouse or sibling. Everyone else is right.

Apologizing every time someone alludes you've made a mistake. I see this in eastern pop culture where Thai/Korean/ China stars apologize everytime the fans say they're wrong and just cringe. Pople deciding you are wrong does not equal you are wrong and even if you're wrong so what? Every ongoing or retired people pleaser knows once you start apologizing you'll never stop people will start finding fault in the way you talk walk breathe exist have skin etc. I'm not saying never apologize I'm saying unless you can clearly see you were wrong don't. More often than not it works in your favor it made Jordan Peterson millionaire and public figure from a random professor. It works in your favor to not always apologize and against you to act like a mindless thing that can't think for itself. See what it did for Andrew Tate? Nicki Minaj? It's always better to be the villain than the hero. I told y'all from day one I am a gold digging lying narcissistic misandrist witch and I have never once strayed from it I said I hate men I said I am a gold digger I said I only care about myself and I believe in the stars is it not clicking? So you know not to try and virtue signal me I don't even have virtues and I don't apologize. I said fuck you and your god now what. What are you going to do? Make a post? Its better to be the villain than to be the good girl always. I said exactly what I said. What about it? What's the worst you can do?

Giving your two cents in everything, even things that don't concern you. I understand why celebrities care about Palestine why do you? HuMaNiTariAn yes people pleaser. You fake goody two shoes i saw you with an iPhone and Apple is contributing to the war throw it away. NO? HM. Who cheated on who is none of your business

In conjunction with above, picking sides on things that have nothing to do with you. Especially this one lol. This one actually because i literally learned about it in class.

Trends.

Changing your opinion when it gets opposition. This especially is funny to see on this app when you get one disagreeing reblog / comment and all of a sudden you agree. Is the backbone in the room with us? Mind you its a website on the internet I don't even want to think about in real life. If you are someone that changes your opinion without thorough convincing and facts and reports we can see that wet tissue back from this side of the planet. This ties to no.1 because you are trying to escape consequences that don't even exist. What will we do, block you? And then? Do we pay your bills? lol.

Caring about people that you know for a fact if the cards were reversed wouldn't care about you. As an African IDGAF about world wars because we have been having literal genocides and I didn't see one single #freecongo so wtf is Palestine? what is Iran? Give me my coke bro idc. So YoU dOnT caRe BecAuSe- yes exactly. exactly. wipe each other off the face of the earth for all I care. If the cards were reversed- they have been for 20 years- and no one has cared. I'm not donating matter of fact I'll rob you stop. This is how men gage you btw. This is how men know if you matter or not. This is what Shera7 has been trying to get you to see from day 1. If the cards were reversed, they'd leave you to die. This is what Khanyi Mbau was trying to say in that one clip. Y'all do too much for people that would leave you to die for fun.

Having no hobbies. Because?????????????????

Stan culture. Fan I understand, but stan? we lost a sister.

Not wanting compensation for effort. This one omg. That 'good girl' shit will have you door matted please. You put your effort / knowledge / etc you get paid. Be a gold digger that matryrdom will just leave you dead and broke. This is also how men trap you into free labor. Men and the corporate world. If the paycheck is for x do x and go game if they want Y weaponize incompetence or get paid for Y. Be a gold digger. Want money. Let it be known yes I love money pay me or let me be why are you taking pride in not being paid? Demand compensation. DEMAND. People really take pride in being free donkeys. At LeasT I'm nOt a GolD digGer YoU onLy CaRe AboUt MoneY yes? Yes?? At least I'm a gold digger? YoY WaNt MoNeY you dont??????????????????????????????

Buy Me A Coffee

[theaskscenter]

Mother I don't think therapy is working 🥀

aw honey it almost never works. Almost never. I went through half a dozen therapists and the one that helped me costs like a small apartment bc they're rich people therapists and they don't follow the same mold as the rest? They don't even go by 'therapist' they go by 'counsellor'

You know what I'd bet on? Group therapy / community/ communal therapy. Anything that works in groups works. There's security in numbers. If that doesn't (and it also fails quite a lot. Like, A LOT but is still more effective than individual/ personal therapy), pull an accountability partner / personal coach.

Therapy was probably effective 20 years ago when we didn't have the internet but rn if I need to know why I act the way I act I can just ChatGPT / google it.

Why we act the way we act based on personal history is so grossly overrated in mental health and I'm saying this as someone that wanted at some point to be a therapist. Like ok now I know I'm lazy because my mom didn't love me so what. NOW WHAT. like do I need to know why a car works the way it works? No I just need to know how to use it? Now that I know who invented cars what am I supposed to do with this information? Why is not as important as how and that's why therapy fails so much. Now that you know what happened was abuse, now what? Who cares just give me the tools I need to do what I need to to do omg. And even that usually fails because there's always initial resistance and lack of consequences. What's the difference between your therapist saying do X and your professor saying do X? At least with your professor there are consequences like you can fail your class what will your therapist do? Which is why in my extremely educated opinion CBT>>>>> traditional therapy. And why I tell you if you don't see tangible results in two months (and how you feel is not results) drop out. And even CBT fails ALL THE TIME.

Listen I won't go into the science of it but human beings are mammals and mammals are hedonistic in nature. If there are no consequences to not doing it and you have no internal discipline you won't do it. The same way fish swim people want the easiest lath it's nature. If you know you'll get away with not completing your to do list why would you bother completing it. Laziness is INNATE to people. It's in your blood it's mammalian. Knowing your dad was shitty will not change that.

If you don't have crazy stupid money skip the therapy invest in an accountability partner that'll cost you like 100$ a month and get shit done youll heal and learn as you go. Again speaking and minors in Evolutionary Psychology a lot of pain is just lack of comprehension and you will, in fact, learn as you get older. Time does, in fact, heal.