Jordyn

[thatendogirl-blog]

Pain

Everyday, all day I have some sort of pain. Be it dull, sharp, stabbing, crampy. There is ALWAYS some form of pain. Some days I handle it better than others. But some days I’m glued to my heat pack. I can’t function like a normal person. I slack on my wifely and motherly duties. The house isn’t always clean and the laundry isn’t always done. Some days my pain is so bad if I stand up I almost pass out. But if you ask me if I’m okay, I’ll more than likely tell you I’m fine. I don’t like to burden other people with my pain. There’s nothing anyone can do anyway. All this pain means more medication, more doctor visits, hours of driving, more money, another surgery and another road to recovery. When will it end? When will there be a cure to this horrid disease? I want my life back. I want to wake up and not dread getting out of bed wondering what kind of pain day it’s going to be. I want to be able to eat my favorite foods and not be in tears hours later because today they caused a flare up. I want to be able to have sex with my husband without there being pain during and for days afterwords to the point it hurts to walk. I want to live a life without constant pain medications, worrying if I remembered to bring them with me because if not and I get a flare up I have to go home. I want to be able to live life as a 22 year old not in chronic pain. Not facing the fact I’ll be having a hysterectomy soon. Not facing the fact I may never have another child of my own and I’m damn lucky to even have my son. Not facing the fact this is life, the rest of my life there will be pain. I feel broken, beaten and torn down. This disease has full control over my life. When I leave my house, how my pain medicine I take, when I can and can’t be intimate with my husband, when I can exercise, what I can eat, how long I can stand for, how many children I can have, how fast I can grow my family, how I spend my time, how many surgeries I have, how many Dr visit I need, how many times I have to refill my pain prescription. Anytime I have to make any decision, be it big or small my disease is one of the first things that pops into my mind. Can I do it? Can my body handle it? Will I break down? What should I pack in my bag just in case? What if I have a flare up?

My life is one big “what if” and there’s nothing I can do about it.

[thatendogirl-blog]

1 out of every 10, 200 million women suffer from a disease called endometriosis. Unfortunately many go undiagnosed and their pain/symptoms get pushed under the rug. They are told this it’ s normal to be in pain while on tour period, it’s normal to pass clots, it’s normal to have weight gain, its normal to bloat, it’s normal to have a heavy flow. IT’S NOT NORMAL.

We shouldn't have to suffer in silence, hiding our hurt with prescription pain killers. Our only options shouldn’t be numerous surgeries, medically induced menopause or a hysterectomy. I’ m here to be the voice that so many women feel that they don’t have. We need to speak up and make ourselves heard. There NEEDS to be a cure, we deserve more and we need more.