ThatGuyWhoWritesNovels

I write novels, make crap art and video games. Cheers.

[deactivated-blog]

where did you go

[angulargeometry]

Splish Splash.

| #GIF | #DAILY | #C4D |

[sorelatable]

If your name is on one of these I just wanna let you know your parents are basic bitches with no creativity

[times-like-these7-deactivated20]

Sounds like someone’s sad they couldn’t find their name on a coke bottle

[thatguywhowritesnovels-blog]

That one Coke Zero bottle is bothering me.

[peetababy]

I do this in public transportation

I literally have no self control when I’m reading books I’ll skip like 6 paragraphs and read the dialogue and then feel bad and go back and read the paragraphs it’s a vicious cycle

[sazquatch-blog]

For once this is like one of those ‘genuine relateable’ posts that I am shocked by like I 100% did not know this was a thing people did, a thing 118,000 people did.

[angelclark]

A guy named Andrew had a Starbucks Gold card (which gets you a free drink of your choice after you buy 12) and a single goal: to beat the previous world record for the most expensive Starbucks drink ever.

As anyone who has accomplished anything in life will tell you, thorough prep is key to achieving your goals. With 128-ounce glass in hand, Andrew stepped into Starbucks and enlisted the help of his friendly local Starbucks baristas.

Thus, the legend of the Sexagintuple Vanilla Bean Mocha Frappuccino was born. Total cost: $54.75. But for Gold-card holding Andrew, it was free.

[thatguywhowritesnovels-blog]

I think I had a fucking heart attack.

[thatguywhowritesnovels-blog]

I REALLY really REallY REALLY Really REALLY really REalLy REEEALLY want to go to E3.

[tiniestshorts]

Bread knife

[the-hungry-wizard]

The french have grown more powerful. 

[tothejamjar-deactivated20160409]

DEATH HONHONHON

[dualdestinies-archive-deactivat]

Hold it!

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!

[melongifts]

Objection

Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

[dualdestinies-archive-deactivat]

Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!

[pixelgamer07]

Oh my good- Please, for once can we please have a post without these idiots making a mess of things? Is that too much to ask? I beseech you, just go away.

[dualdestinies-archive-deactivat]

fuck off

[thatguywhowritesnovels-blog]

THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING POST

[jonesie32]

A Soldier and a Marine just testing out their camo.

[this-is-my-life-lacy]

lololololol

[captainkristine]

I’m reblogging this again cause it’s that awesome.

[saraneththebinder-deactivated20]

Then there’s the Navy

[littlegingermonkey-deactivated2]

[pleatedjeans]

[shortvideosandstuff]

Magnetic Levitation Device

[bonkalore]

#SCIENCE!#pave a parking lot with it#stick it on a hoverboard#you’ve got one year left to make it happen

[otigre]

i wonder if anyone uses the same password as me

[thatguywhowritesnovels-blog]

Come tell me, let's find out.

[silkfauna]

a handy guide

[birdblitz]

does it have to be a dude

[thatguywhowritesnovels-blog]

I got six someone date me

(Also, nice one Muggy)

[pokemon-fans]

If you want the be the very best, you don’t stop for anything pokemon-fans.tumblr.com pokemonfans.net

[thatguywhowritesnovels-blog]

I did this during my High School Graduation

[i-justreally-like-cats-okay]

Calming CAT!

[mybuttisaurus]

oh my god it is calming

[sammneiland]

i think we could all use some calming cat right about now.

[togetherwecanrecover]

He’s back! Welcome back, calming cat. You are always welcome here.

[suchagrumpysenpai]

Everyone should know of calming cat.

[thebigphantheory-deactivated-de]

this is the thing that you have to tag because you’ll have to wait 8264589672 years to find it again

[inritum]

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[ghostdog07]

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

[deathklaue]

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

[doryishness]

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

[victoriaringsinyourears]

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

[lenshade]

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

[themixedbagofwhat]

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

[wodkat]

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

[openyourthird-eye]

OKAY I SWEAR TO GOD THIS THING WORKS YOU HAVE TO PATIENT BC I WISHED THAT I COULD MOVE AWAY FROM MY SHITTY TOWN TO A WARM PLACE AND GUESS WHAT THIS JULY IM MOVING TO NORTH CAROLINA OKAY GUYS IM NOT MAKING THIS UP I AM SO CONFUSED ACTUALLY THIS IS GREAT BYE

[thatguywhowritesnovels-blog]

I just wish my life was a little bit better, maybe some friends would be nice.

[pokemon-fans]

WTF Shauna? We’ve only met for a day! pokemon-fans.tumblr.com pokemonfans.net

[thatguywhowritesnovels-blog]

This is why we were given TM17 Shauna