whatsthestoryinkairaimori:
[potential cw for discussions of mortality]
To say he didn’t have faith would not be entirely correct. He was extremely confident in his belief that someone (other than Kyoji, he now supposed) would die before the bomb could go off.
“I won’t allow myself dying here to exist as a possibility, but I don’t need to take that into my own hands. Someone else is going to act sooner or later. That’s inevitable. I suppose in that sense, you could say I believe in what I know.”
He believed it was going to be okay - for himself, at least. The others, not so much. Some of them might die… but that was a sacrifice he was willing to let happen. There were definitely some people he expected to see go sooner than others. HOSHI was… strange, to say the very least, but he didn’t expect her to try anything. She had every opportunity to kill him upon her arrival, but she didn’t. Although it was possible she was just being pragmatic, and saw no benefit in killing while there was still a decent amount of time left.
Still, that outburst was. Something! Wow. He raised an eyebrow but made no effort to offer any potential words of comfort, more interested in the heavy juxtaposition between her typical demeanor and whatever that was than anything. Hell, he’s kind of curious about what might happen if he presses the matter.
“So you’re a marketable thing then rather than an individual. A product for a nebulous audience, is that right?”
He ponders that for an additional moment.
“Then I can tell you that whoever They are? They will let you die.
“You can only sell something for so long before it becomes obsolete - especially an idol’s brand. How long have you been doing this, HOSHI? Even if the bomb’s timer can be delayed, yours can’t be. There’s no turning back the clock on obscurity and irrelevance.”
“Even if your career seems to be going strong now, it won’t last forever. People will move on. No matter how shocking you try to make your content, they’ll stop watching eventually. You’ll lose your audience. And when They can’t get what they want from you anymore, They’ll kick you to the curb with nothing. Or, if we assume that you were quite literally created for this purpose and are entirely synthetic? They’ll tear you apart for scraps to create their next star without a shred of remorse. A product exists to serve a purpose, and once it can no longer do so, there’s no reason to keep it around. ”
“Though I suppose if you’re a product instead of a person, that thought wouldn’t bother you at all, would it? That’s the sort of silly, mundane worry that only a person would be concerned with.”
That’s an extremely insidious smile. Fun was had, but at what cost?
Oh, now this intrigues her. A horrible, little man too big for his britches. He didn’t react to her little stunt, her breaking down and screaming for help. This raises some interesting questions. Just who is Jin Saishu and what are his motivations? His thoughts? His inner workings? And how can she break them all apart and get him to see beyond the rim of his glasses? Get him to see the Truth of HOSHI. Granted, maybe he was the only one who did.
“How do you plan to stop a knife in your throat? Or poison slipped into your bloodstream? You are a fragile, squishy being, are you not? You are not higher than the will of the universe. You, too, will fall when it all burns down, teehee!”
“You are correct, Jin Saishu. An idol is a product. They take care of me the best they can. I disagree with the points you make. I disagree. An idol has a timer. Celebrity is finite. However, I am not just an idol. I am the Perfect idol. I am the im-im-image of perfection.”
Her eyes widen. She looks... inhuman, almost. Almost.
“Not all fame dies, Jin Saishu. Sometimes it outlasts the physical body. I cannot die, Jin Saishu. Even if my body rots and decays, which I doubt it ever will, I will leave and breathe all the same. I am not just an idol that people like. I am a figure of Worship.”
A small, dangerous smirk rises on her face for a second, before she goes back to her normal expression.
“I like being a celebrity. Celebrities are our modern day gods. I like being a god. It is nice to have lots of fans to worship me. My fans say they would die for me. I like having such devoted fans. It is nice. To be loved. That kind of love never dies. I will not die. It will all be okay.”
