Just a College Girl in an Ever-Changing World

My name's Melissa; I'm a CNU student intending to major in choral music education with a love for singing and musicals. This is definitely gonna be one heck of an adventure!

[thatoneshowgirl]

A little over half of my semester is done.

I didn’t get cast in “Legally Blonde” but it was still one of the best auditions I ever had. My schedule is busy as hell, and some of it involves waking up at a quarter to 7 every other morning on weekdays, but at least it’s better than waking up at half past 5 am every morning. And on top of that, I have little to no spare time on my hands other than for studying AND PRACTICING. Lots AND LOTS of practicing. Voice? Piano? Trombone, of all things? You name it. Chances are I have to practice another instrument that is not one of the first two that I listed.

And to be honest? I wouldn’t want it any other why.Why?

BECAUSE I AM ABSOLUTELY THRIVING IN THIS COLLEGE ENVIRONMENT HERE.

Classes last for shorter periods of time. Classes have a significantly less number of students in them, if you’re into that sort of thing. Even the lecture classes have less than 100 students in them. But again, if the college-bound teenager reading this is into small schools, then that’s absolutely fine.

But the biggest point of all is that I get to explore in-depth subjects about the one subject that I love, and after several long and hard years of having to wait for it after discovering that it was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

MUSIC. Teaching it. Spreading it to future generations and spreading love and appreciation for it. Theatre, too; I’ve decided to tack on a theatre minor next semester, because there’s no escaping my second love.

Other than that, there are a few other things I wanted to add on.

Ever since “In The Heights” ended back in May, I realized that maybe people were right and I really WAS a good dancer with lots of untapped potential. And on top of that, it helped me lose 8 pounds within the span of 4 months. So I joined a dance club, and yesterday, despite my horrendous lack of flexibility and terrible lack of self-confidence, I found myself doing much better than anticipated. I can’t wait for what’s to come!

I also went Greek. No, not social Greek. SERVICE Greek. I never thought I’d see myself doing it, but I did. Seeing that this sorority participated in group community service efforts well as just being social, I thought to myself, “Hey. Maybe this one’s not as trashy as the ones I hear about in the deep south.” Sure enough, it’s far from trashy. (And I also learned that the OTHER kinds of Greek organizations are trashier the farther south you go. But that’s based off of the stories I’ve seen in the news so far.) The members are all so sweet and I am absolutely in love with what this new sisterhood has to offer. My big is named Maria; she’s a musical theatre major and a senior from Woodbridge, which is actually not far from where I live. She and I are practically the same person, so similar that during Rush Week, apparently the rest of the sisters thought I was literally a smaller version of her. Maria loved this, apparently, which is why she told me during Initiation Night that she wanted to be my big ever since she met me. And now, it looks to me like I’ve finally gained the older sister I wish I had. We’re gonna go see “Newsies” in Richmond on Saturday. 

Furthermore, in an effort to reconnect to my mom’s Italian heritage, I joined Club Italia, which is basically an Italian cultural appreciation club on campus. We’re gonna go see “La Boheme” next Tuesday.

But most importantly, I have definitely made sure to not forget where I came from and not to lose myself. David and I still Skype each other on a frequent basis. The last time we did, we talked for about an hour and a half. Our longest conversation, however, was for about two and a half hours. It was wonderful. And now I’ll get to see him and the rest of my friends in a few more weeks during Thanksgiving break! A part of this may be because of the death of a friend of mine about half a month ago. While he was biking to Virginia Tech’s main campus, he was rounding a corner of the street when he suddenly got hit by a car. Unfortunately, his injuries were too great to recover from, and he died in a memorial hospital. He was only 19 years old. I knew him from choir and theatre, and though I never talked to him much, I could immediately tell he was a nice guy. When I first read that he passed away, I just sat on the floor for five minutes. I didn’t move. I didn’t speak. And I couldn’t think. It was requested that all of the high school choir alumni come down and sing at his funeral. So I went, and I saw all my friends again. I wish seeing them again didn’t have to be like this, but it’s moments like those that remind you to always value the friendships and relationships that you have with others.

What does all of this jumbled mess of a Tumblr post have to do with all this?

I guess you could call it a “here’s to the future” kind of post. Here’s to success. Here’s to family. Here’s to memories. Here’s to friendship. Here’s to music.

And here’s to Mark. This year, I will sing for you.

Here’s to the future.

This post is dedicated to: Mark Alexander Slough 1996-2015 “Time is precious.”

[thatoneshowgirl]

August 1

My grandmother died late last night, and I have a myriad of mixed emotions.

She was my dad’s mom, and she passed away in her sleep in her nursing home in New Jersey. She was 98 years old. My dad already made some tiny arrangements for a tiny funeral at a tiny funeral home. I say tiny, and I’m not joking. The four of us (my parents, my younger sister Jane, and I) are literally the only immediate family she was closest to.

But I’m not sure I was close to her at all. And I still cried my fair share for quite some time today...which is why my “mixed emotions” have been such an issue for me.

For several years, my grandmother suffered from something called “frontal lobe dementia”. This came in the form of her saying some things about recently seeing relatives. Also, in the form of “Yes, I did go ice-skating today, and later I played some tennis.” The dementia factor came into play because basically all of her relatives died before she did. But things about her family and her past were some of the only thing she remembered best. And sadly, it also comes into play whenever my dad brought the rest of his family with him to visit. The process was the same thing over and over again. He’d wheel her wheelchair into the sitting room where the rest of us were waiting, and ask, “Do you remember my wife Lisa? Do you remember your granddaughters, Melissa (that’s me) and Jane?”

In earlier years, there were occasions where she would tease our dad a bit, and sometimes make some quick zinger about taking “a nip and a nap.” (For those who don’t know, a “nip” is something like a shot of some strong alcoholic drink). But as the years slowly rolled by, I noticed her saying those kinds of things less and less. There were less instances of family stories and more instances of her repetitively asking “Where do you live?” several times.

My mom mentioned to me today that my dad’s mother wasn’t really a conversationalist. But my mom also mentioned that she had been like this for a while. Like, at least the entire time I was alive, so a little over 18 years.

For the entirety of my day, I slowly began to realize how completely fucking unfair this felt to me. I’m still quite bitter about it, to be honest.

I wanted to know my grandmother as an actual person. I wanted to know my grandmother as a breathing human being who LIVED and not just EXISTED. I wanted to know the warm, motherly emotion in her voice whenever she spoke. I wanted to know the nostalgia in her eyes and expressiveness in her face and hands when she talked about her family or her high school or her road trips to California or the sports she played when she was my age.

Today made me slowly realize that I never got to experience any of that, and that I was so damn envious of my parents, who were able to get to know infinite amounts of her more than me, and especially Jane, who is 15. Mom says that she wasn’t much better and that she never had much of a relationship with her, but she still had so much more connection to her than me. What my grandmother had in her long ago was so much more than what she had the last time all 4 of us stopped to see her.

I could never have what Mom had. But most of all, I could never have what Dad had. She was his mom, after all, and he grew up with her in her house eating her food and following her rules. So naturally, he knew everything there was to know about her.

He even knew when her health began deteriorating.

As slowly as she left us, Mom said that Dad began to emotionally drift away from her at the same rate. It was evident whenever Jane asked how she was doing, and that he’d respond with “As good as it can get for her.”

I never realized how small “As Good as It can Get” could be, and how little “As Good as It can Get” was worth for someone her age and in her condition. I never imagined that Dad was always thinking about how “As Good as It can Get” usually meant the “Beginning of the End.” It must have been unfathomable how much Dad must have suffered. Something tells me that 18+ years of the same shit over and over implied a very slow “Beginning of the End.”

I didn’t think that her passing would happen so quickly. I never thought that her death could be so climatic, after hearing about how incredibly slowly she was passing before our eyes. I suppose Life’s Little Ironies can certainly surprise you in mysterious ways.

Even more ironic is the “foil” to my grandmother’s situation: my dad’s. After a slow emotional detachment, he didn’t just break down completely, from what I saw. There was no emotional climax to parallel his mother’s death. He didn’t start sobbing out of nowhere. Being a dad that grew up in a time when gender roles were strictly enforced (he was born in ‘51), I rarely saw him cry. I asked Mom if he cried when he found out about his mom. That was when she mentioned his slow emotional detachment.

If Dad calling the funeral home today was the “falling action” of the “Beginning of the End”, then the funeral itself is the Beginning’s “resolution”. As for the End? Well, I guess it’s where we sit and reminisce whatever we could of her and celebrate her life. Obviously, Dad would have the most memories about his own mom. There would be lots of crying involved, from my mom and I, but mostly from me, and then Jane would matter-of-factly state that “if Heaven does exist, then she’s with her husband again after 40 years or probably having a drink with her siblings again.”

Because she’s going through puberty, it’s as close to emotional as she’s gonna get. And on top of that, it’s basically a really curt and annoyed way of saying “Melissa, you fucking wuss. Stop crying. You’re embarrassing us.”

As bitchy as that sounds, my angsty wreck of a younger sister has a point. She even posted an ask in my Tumblr inbox saying just that, all in the tone of a blatantly passive-aggressive FYI. I deleted the ask because of the tone that it sent, and because I was angry that she didn’t say it out loud when we were all in the kitchen together earlier that morning. It didn’t mean, however, that I wasn’t thinking about one of the things she said about how we were all she had in the remainder of her life.

I remember the very last time we visited her in New Jersey when Dad asked if she remembered Jane and I. “You’re Melissa,” she said, pointing to me. “And you’re Jane,” she continued, a finger toward my sister. We nod in agreement. “You’re my granddaughters,” she resumed. Again, the both of us nodded our heads.

And then she did something I will never forget for the rest of my life. She looked us both straight in the eyes with the sincerest smile on her face and said:

“...I love you.”

It brought tears to my eyes knowing she meant it, with that heart-wrenching smile and those watery eyes and her voice cracking. When I visit her in New Jersey next week, when she’s finally laid to rest next to her husband’s plot, I hope I can tell her the same for the last time.

RIP Florence Haberle 1917-2015

...I love you, too, Grandma Flo. I love you, too.

[thatoneshowgirl]

Oh, and I also made some much-needed editions to my blog. THE TITLE AND BIO PAGE ARE NOW COMPLETELY UP TO DATE!

[thatoneshowgirl]

On a completely different and totally unrelated subject...

I just broke 100 posts on this blog! AND ON TOP OF THAT, I broke 20 followers.

Wooooooo!

[thatoneshowgirl]

The fact that a composer for one of my all-time favorite choral arrangements just followed me a while ago makes my heart leap with skyrocketing joy.

ola-gjeilo Your arrangement of “Ubi Caritas” is so amazingly beautiful, and I am so glad we got to sing it the amount of times that we did.

We sang it for our choir assessment in March, and got straight superior ratings with it. We sang it in Pittsburgh in the Museum of Modern Art in an area with very good acoustics. We sang it in the main entrance of our school, which, strangely enough, also has really good acoustics.

Did I mention that I was also the lucky individual who gave the pitch right before the song began?

Yes, Mr. Gjeilo, I have perfect pitch.

Thank you for blessing me with this follow. I am honored.

[queer-feminist-quotes]

If you’re a ‘nice guy’ to a girl up until you realize she doesn’t want to date you, then go on about how she’s a cold shrew that friendzoned you and how no girls date nice guys, like, nah mate, girls do date nice guys. You just aren’t a nice guy. You’re a passive aggressive beta with internalized misogyny and a serious victim complex.

Kathy Walker (via queer-feminist-quotes)

[thatoneshowgirl]

Words, words, words, I'm so sick of words. I get words all day through, first from him, now from you. Is that all you blighters can do? Don't talk of stars burning above If you're in love, show me. Tell me no dreams filled with desire If you're on fire, show me. Here we are together in the middle of the night Don't talk of spring; just hold me tight. Anyone who's ever been in love will tell you that This is no time for a chat! Haven't your lips longed for my touch? Don't say how much; show me! Show me! Don't talk of love lasting through time. Make me no undying vow! Show me now! Sing me no song, read me no rhyme. Don't waste my time; show me! Don't talk of June, don't talk of fall. DON'T TALK AT ALL! Show me! Never do I ever want to hear another word There isn't one I haven't heard. Here we are together in what ought to be a dream. Say one more word and I'll scream! Haven't your arms hungered for mine? Please don't ex-pline, show me. Show me! Don't wait until wrinkles and lines Pop out all over my brow. SHOW ME NOW!

“Show Me,” Eliza Doolittle, “My Fair Lady”.

Also my Broadway Desserts solo.

[thatoneshowgirl]

For March 25

Just a simple thing I’d like to put up:

The letter from the CNU department of music sent me a letter today and...THEY ACCEPTED ME!

For this reason, I’ve decided to commit there as a choral music education major!

I’m a bit nervous to be making such a huge decision, but it looks like I’ve got a definite plan for the next 4 or 5 years. How I plan said plan is to be determined once I get there, but I’m so happy I’ve got such a huge load off my shoulders!

[thatoneshowgirl]

For March 24

After choir today, Mrs. Irish informed everyone about our Assessment results if people did not yet know.

The way our performing arts assessments work in Virginia is that groups are ranked 1 through 5, with 1 being the best rank, "Superior." (God forbid any group get a 5...God forbid.) The groups get their overall scores based on skill level of dynamics, attentiveness to parts, enunciation, stage presence, sight-reading, and many other things. Depending on their score, they are given their overall rank of 1through 5.

I was especially proud to hear that all 4 of our group got straight 1's overall. In all their categories, not a single 2 was in sight, even in sight-reading. Even Select Women's Ensemble, who had historically bogged us all down with 2's overall, finally stepped up their game tremendously for the first time in 4 years. I'm quite certain it was because the Singers girls were with the Women's Ensemble this year. The latter group has nearly always been comprised of the younger girls in the choral program, and a lot of the older, more experienced girls are bumped up into Singers. Bringing in the Singers girls must have rounded out both the experience and the age gap. At the same time, I understand that Mrs. Irish must have desperately wanted to work especially hard with the girls this year.

The fact that this all just happened during my senior year made everything even better. It made me so happy to see everyone working together to create wonderful music. What makes it genuine is their feelings toward making that music, because they were all totally positive. It looked like everyone legitimately wanted to be where they were tight then and there, being one with the music and smiling alongside their friends and choir family.

I already mentioned once before I never truly sat down and considered the choir to be something like a real, true "family." However, I truly felt it that day as we all sang onstage, and I felt it again today, as all of us were informed of our straight superior rankings of all our groups. Mrs. Irish was also quick to add that, even after recent events (specifically, the Terrible Awful Thing that happened on the way home from Pittsburgh), we still banded together and channeled all our positive energy to create something this wonderful. I have to say now, I couldn't agree more.

When I felt that familial tie of unity that Saturday, I felt like I forgot about the world for a while, and everything in it. The only thing that mattered at the moment was my choir family. One can only experience that feeling so many times throughout his or her life, and both that feeling and the occasion behind it have to be very special. I suppose it's whatever Someone with a capital S that's telling me this day was a very important milestone in my very young life.

But why are they coming so soon? I'm already feeling something so similar with "In The Heights." Two memorable milestones within the span of three months are fantastic, but suspicious. It's like whatever Higher Power is Up There telling me my life is flashing before my eyes. When someone is nearing the end of their life, or undergoing a very important change in his or her life, they usually undergo some very memorable moments in their lives.

It must be because college is just around the corner, and before that, graduation.

Whatever it is, I plan to just roll with it, and if anything life-changing happens along the way...well, so be it. Either way, I can determine my own destiny. Everyone is capable of doing so; after all, such concepts have been around since the dawn of time. So hey, why not just go along with the millenia-old tradition of breaking the older ones? I think that sounds like a great idea for a lifelong adventure.

[thatoneshowgirl]

Do you ever just hate it when someone is blatantly asking for attention in what they think is a subtle manner? In all seriousness, everyone around that person knows so much better."

Me.

It’s like everyone I know is dangling my crush in front of me like a fish on a hook. I should know better than to feel this, but like most teenagers, I can’t help but feel these kinds of angsty emotions sometimes.

Having these feelings because your hormonal levels aren’t stable is just one of many reasons why being a teenager sucks so much sometimes.

[thatoneshowgirl]

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."

Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Ms. Vinas must have been extremely grateful to have attended a college named after such a wise man like him.

[thatoneshowgirl]

To Whoever saw today’s post:

I will need a lot of support that will keep me going for the next few weeks. This is a recovery my choir family knows will not be easy on everyone. As a result, emotional support is a must.

Believe me, I’ve been crying all day.

Come to my inbox and talk to me, maybe? Give me advice? Ways to help cope? Ways to make sure everyone knows I love and appreciate them?

[thatoneshowgirl]

For March 18

Right when I walked into the choir room, I saw the word "Family" written in all capital letters on the whiteboard. The same word was written on the whiteboard outside, the same way. On a music stand right by the door was the sheet music for one of our songs for our "Into the Woods" medley, entitled "No One is Alone." I had a feeling that would have a lot to do with a possible talk to us about what happened on the way home from Pittsburgh.

The talk came in the last half hour of Singers today, which was s surprise because it definitely seemed like a discussion that would take the entirety of class. After we went over and briefly touched on 4 songs we were singing for Assessment, Mrs. Irish immediately pulled up a video on the school choir's YouTube channel. Over the course of the video, there were students talking about their favorite memories of choir and why they like the class. Many of them compared the choir to a very large family, a very central theme to the video as well as the discussion.

That's when the talk began.

"Families have problems. Even the best families have problems," Mrs. Irish began.  "A few members of our choir family have been through a very rough patch." "We are a family, whether you think of it that way or not. I'm not saying we'll all be getting along, but there has to be a tremendous amount of respect for the people who are here." Mrs. Irish, the figurative "head" of the family, told us that she loved us unconditionally, but felt that as a result of what happened, felt like she hadn't gotten to know most people all that well. After all, it was hard to keep up with everyone over the past 2 years when she had to be away on maternity leave twice! Going to Pittsburgh, she said, was a very clear display of her love for us all. She had taken us to her home town. She had taken us to her old church. Her parents had even paid for our lunch! After what happened, she said, she felt like she had been slapped in the face. I couldn't blame her, either; I would have felt the exact same way. Mrs. Irish took this a step further by saying she had lost her trust in a lot of people.

However, she also said that she hadn't lost her faith in them, because she knew deep down they would eventually have the courage to 'fess up. She had long been trying to not hold grudges and try to be more forgiving. I do hope she sticks to this goal, especially in a time like this one.

What these people did was unmentioned, only referred to as "the deed". She did mention, however, that whoever did it ("you know who you are") will need a means of apology, perhaps in front of the class, because what they did was not only a stupid thing to do, but also quite selfish. They had no regard for other people's health concerns, let alone their own.

She ended the heavy talk today with a brief sight-reading of " No One is Alone", because she felt that it was "very applicable" to what we were going through.

Throughout the whole talk, I couldn't keep my emotions in check. I was just bawling my eyes out the entire time. It wasn't just Mrs. Irish's trust that they lost; a part of my own trust was yanked away, as well. What made it worse was after the bell rang. The second I left the room, I noticed the "FAMILY" on the outside whiteboard erased halfway. It only made me cry even harder. Did nobody understand how important this discussion was supposed to be?

Today was the first time I really considered Singers as a "family." I always considered the entirety of the choir program as one large family, of course. On the other hand, I never realized how much potential weight the word would carry, especially within Singers. Thanks to Mrs. Irish, I know the connotation of the word will mean so much more. Before, I always considered Singers as a family, but in a metaphorical sense. We laughed together and performed together, and most of the group was friendly toward the other. Now, today has made me come to realize that there are people in the choir that consider Singers as something of a real, genuine family that loves and respects every inch of a person. It makes me sad to say that the only time I've seen any real family action going on the most was within the alto section. All of them are like sisters,and they even have matching "Altos" T-shirts. The boys, in general, have plenty of time to bond during Men's Chorale as well as Singers, so of course they know each other well. It's just my luck that my section had to be the one that lacked this kind of deep, personal connection. Come to think of it, I can't really remember the last time all of the Singers did anything that, to me, physically gave me a "family" feel.

Regardless, Mrs. Irish strongly emphasized the universal Golden Rule for future reference. "Do unto others as you would yourself." One must love one another. I definitely plan to contribute as much of these rules as much as I possibly can from here on out. I was never one to hold grudges, for one. For another, I love my choir and everyone in it, even if there are people (like Caitlin Odom, whose blatant dislike for me has been made obvious on many occasions) who don't express similar emotions toward others in our group. After all, one simple act of love can start a chain reaction, right? I certainly hope so. We entered this situation with nothing but pent up anger and negativity in our hearts. I want everyone to do what Mrs. Irish would do, and leave with more love and understanding in their hearts. Make an effort to show respect and unconditional support. We have a lot of work to do.

[thatoneshowgirl]

For March 17

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!! And yes, I did wear green, so whoever is reading this, try not to send me any internet pinches.

But now for some more...serious news.

Word has gotten out to Mrs. Irish that 4 people (all of them shall remain nameless) have smoked on the bus ride home. What made the situation even more was the fact that one of the basses in our section even puffed a smoke of weed in the face of one of our top tenors. And he was one of our more valuable basses. A SUPER BASS bass.

The others were all sopranos on the hookah. All 4 of them were juniors and seniors. I initially thought I smelled a dead skunk the first time I smelled it. (Really naive, right?) When I heard the real story, though, I was shocked. Mortified, even.

Above all, I was incredibly disappointed, and for several reasons.

First of all, any singer should know better than to try drugs even one time because "that one time" could do a lot of damage to his or her voice. Secondly, one of our administrators already told us that this kind of behavior was prohibited, anyway, and that whoever partook in such activities would face severe consequences. This would mean that these 4 people KNOWINGLY smoked, anyway. Thirdly, Mrs. Irish wasn't even on the bus, so there could also be consequences in store for her, too, unless she notified the administrator in advance. If she hadn't, I feel there would be a greater chance of her losing her job. In that case, the 4 must have made this move on purpose, either out of defiance or because she wasn't there or because they simply did not like her as a teacher. There are some people in the choir that absolutely despise her. The rest of the choir loves her very dearly, so there leaves almost no gray area.

In conclusion, we're going to get a serious talking to tomorrow. The way she found out was through a chaperone. The tenor who got puffed in the face told a chaperone who told her. I'm willing to bet that she was livid when she found out. She must have trusted us, literally with her own life in our hands. I can only imagine the feeling of sheer betrayal as the single thing that was coursing through her mind the first day she found out. I don't know what she's going to say tomorrow, but something tells us that it won't be any good.

In any case, I'm fairly certain that a punishment will definitely be headed our way. And of course, as the old saying goes, "the punishment must fit the crime." We definitely won't be singing at least one thing for the rest of the year. David and I talked about it during lunch today. He thinks we'll be pulled out of Assessment this weekend. I think Broadway Desserts will be out of the question. Both options have their share of reasons. Assessment was the reason behind the Pittsburgh trip, anyway. Prepping for the only superior rating of Annandale's performing arts department was a top priority. Yet, at the same time, Assessment is required for all performing arts groups. Broadway Desserts is definitely more fun, even though precious time-slots within the show for group numbers were earned with great vigor.

To be honest, I have no idea how she will even address us. Will it be through email? Posting in the Facebook group? At the end of the day, though, I think it will be much more effective if she spoke to us face-to-face. It could get her point across to is better.

I have heard, though, that whoever did it would be pulled out of Singers, anyway. GOOD. I wouldn't want to sing with people that tarnish our credibility and our integrity as the top choir in the school. Nobody wants to associate with people that soiled our reputation as positive role models for the younger choirs of Annandale.

Because of this, I plan to never fraternize with people that don't follow the rules or take consequences into account. Those with no contempt for punishment will be punished the most. And even though I know most of them are my friends, I hope they do, honestly. After all, a real-world lesson must be taught to them now to give them a taste of what disobedience will result in when they are adults.

[thatoneshowgirl]

There is a world of difference between "hearing" and "listening". Hearing is an everyday activity. People don't have to think when they hear something. But listening forces you to think and pay attention to everything that's going on around you."

John Goldsmith, retired director of the Heinz Chapel Choir in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

[thatoneshowgirl]

For March 13

Not my best work these past few days. Memo to me: KEEP THE HELL UP WITH JOURNAL ENTRIES FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.

Now that that's out of the way...

I read an article in the Wall Street Journal yesterday about how the police chief in Ferguson has resigned from his position. Thomas Jackson was not the first to do so, however. Two people in the force before him are no longer affiliated with the police department, either.

It's all because of the huge suspicions that the Ferguson police department has a bias against minorities. No other incident has highlighted that concept more accurately than that of Mike Brown's death. Most importantly, it was the verdict not to indict Darren Wilson that explained the obvious bias.

Either way, according to the article, people are beginning to wake up, so to speak. A lot of it was because of the Justice Department's recent report on all documented evidence of racial bias.

This one report, from what I've read in the article, seems to be doing a world of progress so far. Small, yes, but it's certainly better than before. Three city employees were fired for sending racist emails recently. Out of all 53 police officers in the police department, only 3 of them were black. On top of that, there are 21,000 people that live there, and 2/3 of the residents are minorities.

The fact that people are starting to make a change just now disappoints me greatly. At the same time, there are lots of questions I want answers to that relate to the situation in question. For one, how long has this city consisted of mostly minorities? Certainly, there should be enough for them in the police department to represent the city as a whole.

Since there aren't many in the force, does that mean there is also racism implemented in the selection process, as well?

More importantly, why is it these questions have not been answered yet? After so much media coverage in Ferguson, anyone keeping up would expect to know a significant amount. Maybe there facts have been kept under wraps because they create such a huge opinion sway.

The media does have a reputation for not covering all that needs to be covered, after all. Mainstream media, at least. There are much smaller news outlets that report on the more "obscure" details.

One might even assume that the move to omit such information was deliberate. While I don't know the inner workings of what goes on in mass media, I can't help but agree. After the especially distrusting court case, I feel we have not gotten the whole story. Even so, I don't want to let what I have now sway me too much. I plan to stick with my own opinion based in what common knowledge is available and agreed upon.

[thatoneshowgirl]

On the "Project A" Spring Dance

Sarah: Project A...it's Project "Alice in Wonderland!"

Seriously, you guys are such ditzes! Didn't you ever see the promo video?

Everyone else: Nope!