Wanderlust @thatonewaterbender - Tumblr Blog

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To heal the wounds of the soul, one must journey deep within themselves. Healing Kung Fu helps individuals gain awareness and feel more relaxed, present, and whole. Are you ready to thrive?

My baby has been birthed. Ready to serve the world. No idea what will come out of me as I go public with my work, but am ready to experience whatever comes.

Thank you universe. Thank you people who share their concerns with me.

With this, I serve.

michonnegrimes

Chess isn’t always competitive. Chess can also be… beautiful. It was the board I noticed first. It’s an entire world of just 64 squares. I feel safe in it. I can control it. I can dominate it. And it’s predictable, so if I get hurt, I only have myself to blame. Anya Taylor-Joy as Beth Harmon in THE QUEEN’S GAMBIT (2020)

“I am ashamed of how I acted that day, ashamed of endangering your body. But I am not ashamed because I am a bad father, a bad individual or ill mannered. I am ashamed that I made an error, knowing that our errors always cost us more.”

― Ta-Nehisi Coates, Between the World and Me

This quote came up today and the last line stuck out to me. I am ashamed that I made an error, knowing that our errors always cost us more.”

For those who don’t know, I have a perfectionist streak.

Yes, its in my star chart Yes, my mom told me that I have to work hard and make few mistakes Yes, I wanted to be top of my class and seem more intelligent than my peers But, its always felt more than that to me.

I always felt that if I were to make a mistake, it would be the end of me Viscerally, I felt my body give way ready for death when I discovered a mistake. My lungs would get full, my heart would stop, my blood would move more slowly..almost as if my body had predicted a severe consequence when a mistake was discovered.

I’ve always had a connection to the collective (un)consciousness whether I was aware of it or not. My body has traveled through and collected memories from different points on the time/space continuum.

Hearing this quote today helped me realize that my body had internalized this fear of mistakes that goes all the way back to slavery. A history that is relevant to my person, but not directly experienced within this lifeline. Basically my body reacts to the making of a mistake in a similar way as if a slave were to make a mistake. My body registers a mistake as a life or death situation.

And I know that’s not my reality. Its the reality of my ancestors whose energy I’ve tapped into and absorbed into my own spiritual being. Note: boundaries are extremely necessary when doing spiritual work.

I’ll now be doing the work to strengthen that boundary I’ll now be doing the work to update my body so its operating on a consciousness more relevant to this life time. I’ll now be doing the work to metabolize my fear of mistakes so that I’m sensitive to the suffering felt in the collective black consciousness around making mistakes so that I can sense the degree of fear in others and help them to be more authentic to themselves in this space and time. I’ll be working on an interpretation of qigong forms around “making mistakes” and “perfectionism”

Looking forward to sharing that with the world soon.

I love tumblr. I feel I can say what comes to mind and maybe someone hears me. maybe someone doesnt.

Tumblr will be essential for me this year as I develop my business.

#suffering #black consciousness #perfectionism

I’m working on some qigong forms for manifestation.

Life changing work.

Sooo stoked to be teaching this at the end of this year!

#qigong #manifestation

Transitions

Sometimes those casual check ins with friends can be great medicine for the psyche.

Yesterday, I had an excellent talk with Cristina one of my closest friends for over 10 years. After she shared some of the EXCITING transitions she’s going through, she asked me for an update on my life. While sharing I couldn’t help but notice how I’m in the middle of so many exciting transitions myself.

----

September 2020: moving to a new apartment in New York, begin a supernatural superheroes course

October 2020: heading to California for a month to do intensive martial arts training, have some necessary R&R with my dog

November 2020: Certification testing for Qigong, work with Martial Arts Director of Avatar the Last Airbender to create Qigong sets related to “unlocking your avatar state”

December 2020: Submit PhD program applications, resign from my position as director of counseling

WINTER SOLSTICE 2020: Launch my business helping people achieve peak states of mental health, spiritual wellness, and bodily awareness

January 2020: Travel to Thailand to teach qigong and spiritual kung fu

Work work work.

March 2020: Travel to (Taiwan/Japan?) To teach qigong and spiritual kung fu

June 2020: Certification testing for Qigong (next level!)

September 2021: Begin PhD Program, begin planning for 2022 Gay Olympics

August 2022: Gay Olympics in Hong Kong

God(des)s : Brigid

Today I had a visitation from Brigid. She held me very dear throughout the visitation. When she first put her hands on mine, I began crying. This might have been the first time I felt the presence of a god(des) so strongly. After the visitation, i still feel myself being bathed in warm fire which has ignited my passion for writing once again.

I stopped writing because I don’t like editing myself. I like to write what comes out of me and the words spill out uninterruptedly. In school, I’m told to edit so that our content is clear. In blogs, I feel the need to edit so that I’m coming off comprehensible. In my psyche, I fear being labeled as uneducated so I pull out my linguist toolkit whenever I write to polish up my words. Editing takes a ton of energy and its when I engage in the editing process I feel outside forces invading my sacred text. Rules of grammar, others comments on what I might be saying, even spelling conventions that were drilled into my by teachers at a young age. I still hear my elementary school teacher saying “I before E except after C” when typing words like siege/conceive/die...as if I use those words often. haha.

I’m grateful for Brigid for entering my field and awakening my love of automatic writing, for putting her hands on my stomach in order to burn self confidence back into my gut, and for witnessing me as I offered a prayer in the form of a Qigong sequence called the Hieratic (there we go, i before e..) Stances. She really appreciated ‘Single Tree’ so each time I work with the form, I’ll think of her when doing Single Tree. I’ll send her my love and gratitude. I’ll invoke the spirit of her each time I teach the stance series and reach her sacred prayer. May we all live as single trees, burning with the energy to create from a place of innocence where true creativity lies, bathed in the healing juices of our own desires.

#brigid

Life feels very different once you’ve seen how the grass breathes.

There’s life all around us that we’ve literally turned away from so we can glue our eyes to screens.

Give nature some attention, you’d be surprised at what she teaches you.

What do you say to a heart that beats for someone it can’t have?

Thank you.

Thank you for the reminder that there’s something worth living for.

Thank you for discovering a new rhythm that the body can dance to until the song switches.

buffylives

Laws that made it illegal for blacks and whites to be buried in the same cemetery, that categorized people into quadroons and octoroons, that punished a black person for seeking medical attention in a white hospital. Some may claim that slavery has ended. But tell that to the inmates who are kept in cages and told that they don’t have any rights at all.

allanimanga

orthogonals

you can’t knock me down

disneyfolk

Coco (2017)

Travelling

It’s moments like these where I feel the depths of my loneliness.

It’s a paradox really. I’m in Egypt, in a room all by myself with a friend 20mins away, and a new acquaintance 20 feet away. But the people closest to my heart are more than 20hours away by plane.

And I’ve got 6 weeks of this. 6 weeks of calculating time difference between here and nyc/California. 6 weeks of longing to be next to the love of my life. 6 weeks of dropped phone calls and dodgy text messages.

In times like this, all one can do is get ample rest, water, and exploration running through the body rejuvenating it’s circuitry allowing it to sustain itself.

It is here that I get deeper in touch with my inner body, emotions, thoughts, and teach others to do the same.

Okay Cairo, I’m ready to surrender....

After this nap

roslin

“I am not a God in the sense that I can tolerate exploitation, oppression, and repression. My worshippers know freedom ain’t free. They know the most potent weapon of control for the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed. They know slavery is not a condition. Slavery is a cult. Human trafficking is a cult. Slavery got a rebrand like muthafuckin’ the Alt Right.” - American Gods | 2.04

zacksnyder

This guy gets it. I like him. He’s getting angry. Angry is good. Angry gets shit done. You shed tears for Compé Anansi, and here he is, telling you you are staring down the barrel of 300 years of subjugation, racist bullshit and heart disease. He is telling you there isn’t one goddamn reason you shouldn’t go up there right now and slit the throats of every last one of these Dutch motherfuckers and set fire to this ship!

American Gods 1.02 “The Secret of Spoons”