This is a kinkfic blog. It's 18+, NSWF, and hosts content that includes weight gain kink, stuffing kink, feeding kink, hiccup kink, etc. If you're not comfy with that, please do not proceed!
For those of you left, welcome to the Tumblr for the fic "Takes One to Know One"! It's a Teruteru Hanamura/Kazuichi Soda kinkfic that starts with an eating competition and spirals into sex ed, mutual pining, and even hurt/comfort (as well as some spicy weight gain, of course).
Crackfic? Yes. Best thing I've ever written? Also yes.
You can read it on AO3 or here on Tumblr under the tag #takes one to know one fanfic.
Please note: I'm not very active on Tumblr anymore, so if you wanna leave me feedback that I'll see, an AO3 comment is the best way to do it. (Plus they give me hella seratonin.)
Feat: Hiccups, feeding kink, weight gain, pork cutlet bowls
After the hellish trauma gauntlet that had taken up all of Saturday, Kazuichi shouldn't have been surprised Sunday passed the way it did. Namely, he slept through most of it.
"It's not that surprising," Teruteru said, in response to Kazuichi's shocked protestations that it couldn't be six p.m. already. "What all happened yesterday? Ibuki dragged you all over the city, then you came back to free me from the clutches of Hajime and Nagito, and then…well. Everything else happened."
Read on AO3
Kazuichi shuffled his legs out of bed. "Why are you bringing up all that shit?" he muttered, glancing at the bags of clothes in the corner and immediately averting his eyes. "Are you trying to make me feel bad or something?"
"Not at all! Not at all." Teruteru bustled back to the kitchenette while Kazuichi scrubbed the sleep from his eyes and tried to ignore the growing pit of guilt in his gut. "I just thought you might appreciate a little validation, hm?"
"I mean…yeah." Kazuichi covered a huge yawn with the back of his hand, then felt around on the bedside table for his glasses. His queasy stomach growled, and he quickly placed his hand over it, as if that would shut it up.
"And I figured you wouldn't mind a little dinner, either," Teruteru raised an eyebrow, and Kazuichi perked up as he recognized the rich, savory smell of pork cutlet bowls.
He padded over to the table, holding a sheet around his shoulders like a cape. He was only wearing his boxers, and that was just for the sake of modesty. That morning, like so many before it, he'd woken up naked.
"Feels like I just had lunch," he said, blinking in bewilderment as he looked around the room. It didn't seem like it could have been more than a few minutes since he'd laid down (just for a second, he'd insisted) after a hearty lunch of shoyu ramen, tea-stained eggs, and edamame…but judging by the slanted light on the wall, the numbers on the clock, and the petulant grumbling from his stomach, it had to have been at least five or six hours.
"Yes, you haven't done much but eat and sleep lately," Teruteru affirmed, looking a little too pleased with himself as he set the table. "Not that I can really blame you. Growing takes a lot of energy, you know."
Kazuichi couldn't have said when Teruteru had appeared by his side, only that all of a sudden, there he was, breath hot against his cheek. He poked Kazuichi's belly and giggled as Kazuichi swatted him away.
"H-hey! C'mon, man, it's not like I'm doing it on purpose," he retorted, pulling the sheet tighter around himself.
Teruteru set a piping hot bowl of deep-fried pork cutlets and rice in front of him. Just like that, Kazuichi could barely focus on anything other than the hypnotizing aroma and the saliva flooding his mouth.
"Hmm. Says the man who practically knocks down my door every night, begging me to feed him til he bursts," Teruteru purred. He chuckled as Kazuichi shot him a dirty look, then looped back to the kitchenette to return with the rest of the dishes. "Although, to be honest, I've been thinking we should talk about that."
"Talk about what?" Kazuichi said with his mouth full. Teruteru swatted his bare leg under the table.
"Manners, mon cher . You know it gets me all hot and bothered when you gobble your food like a greedy pig." He smirked. Kazuichi swallowed a huge gulp and tried to splutter an excuse, but Teruteru only laughed and shushed him. "But in all seriousness, I meant we should talk about this."
He prodded Kazuichi's belly again. Kazuichi choked on another huge mouthful of pork and rice. His eyes watered as he swatted Teruteru's hand away, his face rapidly turning red.
"Huh? Whaddaya mean, 'this'?" He dropped his chopsticks onto the table and turned his eyes down towards his stomach. "First of all, it's not even that bad. I mean, look!"
He wiped a few grains of rice off his mouth with the back of his hand, then gripped his fledgling belly with both hands. It was certainly there, wobbling a little when he shook it, and sure, it did roll over the waistband of his boxers when he was sitting down like this…plus there were the numerous pink stretch marks decorating the growing space between his belly button and his underwear…but it wasn't like he had a huge gut or anything!
Not yet, said an intrusive thought, followed immediately by an intrusive blush and an intrusive jerk below his stomach. Uh. That was weird. Time to file that under "things not to think about until I'm alone," thanks.
"A-and second of all," he added quickly, "why are you saying that like it's a problem or something? You're into this, right? Don't tell me you get off on stuffing people up and then telling them to go lose some weight!"
"Au contraire. " Teruteru shook his head, his eyes crinkling up as his smile widened. "I think you're gorgeous like this. More of you to love, after all. Isn't that right?"
He chucked Kazuichi's chin, then pinched his cheek. Before Kazuichi even had a chance to protest, Teruteru dropped his hand all the way down to squeeze his ass.
"H-hey!" Kazuichi grabbed Teruteru's arm like he was gonna shove him away, but he didn't. Instead, he found himself turning steadily redder as he stared down at Teruteru's mischievous face. "Dude, if you're trying to make a move on me, you could just say so…"
He drifted closer, then closer still. Just before their lips touched, Teruteru lightly bopped him on the nose and pulled away, laughing.
"Hold your horses, you horny bastard. I'm not done talking, and you're gonna have to be a good boy if you want to get some tonight, m'kay?"
Kazuichi gulped. Great, Teruteru had him flushed from his forehead down to his neck now. "Uh…sure." He managed a placating grin. "Sure, I can be good. Just watch me."
"There's that smile. I was really starting to miss it, you know." Teruteru sighed. "Anyway. I had a lot of time to think things over while you slept today, and I believe I owe you an apology."
Once again, Kazuichi looked up in confusion, his cheeks stuffed with pork and rice. "Huh? Wha'for?"
"For god's sake, slow down," Teruteru laughed. "You'll give yourself the hiccups at this rate, and then I won't be able to think straight. Or at all. All I wanted to say is that…well, I'm not sure we should have rushed into the kinky side of things as fast and hard as we did."
He raised his eyebrows suggestively, but it wasn't hard to tell he was nervous. Kazuichi swallowed another huge bite and belched into his fist.
"Wait, so. So. Hold on." A sickening bolt of ice hit him between the ribs. "W-wait, you're not saying you wanna stop, are you?!"
"No! No, not at all." Teruteru looked earnestly up at him, then glanced away as he fiddled with his napkin. "It's just…well, I may have overindulged you. Which of course, is arousing enough on its own, so it's understandable why it took me so long to recognize the problem.
"But let's be honest here. You went from barely showing up at meals to stuffing yourself sick multiple times a day, every day, for a month straight, more or less. I'm honestly impressed you kept so much of it down. And of course, it's had its effects."
He touched Kazuichi's belly again, gently running his thumb along an indented stretch mark. Kazuichi shivered. He instinctively leaned into Teruteru's touch and grumbled when Teruteru pulled his hand away.
"W-well…it's not like you can take credit for everything, " Kazuichi said, grabbing a piece of pickled cucumber from a side dish and popping it in his mouth. "I was already getting fat before we started hooking up. Remember? You made fun of me for it."
Teruteru stroked his chin. A satisfied smile crept over his face. "Hmm…now that you mention it, I do recall finding you a bit softer than I expected."
"Exactly!" Kazuichi's voice came out a lot higher than he meant it to. He ducked his head to gulp down the rest of his pork cutlet bowl before setting the empty dish aside and grabbing a second bowl from the platter in the center of the table. "It's not like I wasn't eating anything before, you know. I was just avoiding the dining hall cause…cause reasons."
Teruteru had the decency not to say anything about the obvious Hajime-shaped reason hanging above both of their heads. Kazuichi cleared his throat and sipped his tea.
"Well, that's comforting to know," Teruteru replied. "Although I hate to think where you might have been eating instead. I certainly hope it wasn't…"
"It wasn't all McDonald's!" Kazuichi snapped. "I went to that diner a lot, you know, the one you tracked me down at that one time, and…and I got street food, and convenience store shit, and…I dunno. Whatever was cheap."
Teruteru looked heartbroken. Kazuichi slammed down his chopsticks.
"What?! I was broke! I'm still broke! Don't look at me like that!"
"Sometimes I forget how sad your life was before you met me," Teruteru sniffed, wiping away an imaginary tear.
"Shut up! I met you two years ago!" Kazuichi slouched in his seat and glowered. "A-anyway.
I was stress eating all summer, too, you know. And I spent a lot of time on my ass, watching TV and shit. It was freaky. Like, I don't even like watching TV. But it's just, you know, after…stuff happened, I didn't really feel like going anywhere or doing anything. Even assembling and disassembling stuff felt stupid. Cause, you know. It didn't really feel like there was a point."
A realization slowly dawned on him. Kazuichi put his hand to his head.
"Hey, wait a sec. Maybe I actually was depressed."
"You're just realizing that now?" Teruteru shook his head, his hand pressed to his chest. "My poor heart can't take it. It just gets sadder and sadder."
Kazuichi dug into his pork cutlet bowl again. "Shut up! A-anyway, aren't you into this shit? You should be happy I'm like this!"
"Hypothetically, yes," Teruteru said, "but it's also vitally important to me that you're happy and healthy. After all, that's what good cooking is all about! Sure, a little bit of pain is titillating in the bedroom, but if my actions are compromising the quality of your daily life…I could never forgive such a misuse of food."
"My life isn't compromised!" Kazuichi shook his head passionately. "Seriously, Teruteru, I don't know where you're getting all that! So what if I get kinda fat? I-it was probably gonna happen anyway! I mean, if you think about it, I pretty much only eat sugar and carbs, so as soon as my metabolism tanks, I'm gonna be packing on the pounds. Right? Why are you – why are you smiling like that?!"
Teruteru beamed at him. "Oh, no reason. It's just that I seem to remember that not even a week ago, a certain someone would do every mental backflip possible to convince me he wasn't gaining weight."
"Wh –" Kazuichi cut himself off. Shit. He was right. Of course he was right; when was he not? "Hey, that's not fair! That was – that was – I-I mean, it's different when you try and tell me I'm getting too fat for you to keep stuffing me! Like, what the hell?"
He sulked over his dinner as Teruteru kept on chuckling. "That's not what I'm saying at all, ch é rie . I'm only a bit concerned about how quickly you expanded. You did blow the buttons off your school uniform, after all…"
By now it was obvious Teruteru was just trying to get a rise out of him. Still, it wasn't like knowing that kept Kazuichi from sputtering and turning an even deeper shade of red. "That doesn't count! That old uniform was already too small for me, and you know it!"
"Ah, but of course. How could I forget?" Teruteru batted his eyes. "Well, there's no need to worry. I don't have any intention of stopping, not as long as you're alright with our little arrangement. But I do think you need to find your limits. Besides, don't you think it'd be erotic to adopt a master-student dynamic?"
He leaned in close. Kazuichi, whose mouth was once again stuffed full, could only stare at him with wide eyes.
"I, as the worldly-wise chef, will act as your sensei, guiding you through the joys and ecstasies of gastronomical delights, while you, my little pupil…" Teruteru walked his fingers across the table and grabbed Kazuichi's wrist. "...will do your very best to submit to my teachings in the interests of…let's say, personal growth. Hm?"
By the last word, he'd all but pressed his face against Kazuichi's cheek. Kazuichi nearly choked on his mouthful of food before he swallowed it all in one huge gulp, by which point Teruteru had already withdrawn again, giggling.
"Uh…" Kazuichi cleared his throat. Despite himself, a small grin crept onto his face. "Uh, y-yeah, sure? Why not?" He cleared his throat again. "I-I'm not really sure what you mean by 'finding my limits,' though. I totally know my limits. Definitely."
"Oh, do you?" Teruteru raised one eyebrow.
"Sure I do!" Kazuichi retorted. He finished off his second pork cutlet bowl and set it to the side. "Just cause I eat too much when we're getting into it doesn't mean I don't know when to stop. I mean, it's not really fair, 'cause your food is so good I kinda can't stop eating it, but…but if it was normal food, I wouldn't have any problem at all."
"Interesting." Teruteru rested his chin on his hands. "Well, you've eaten my cooking for so long, I expect the initial charm is wearing off. You should be able to stop whenever you want – as long as you really do know your limits, of course."
"Stop looking at me like that," Kazuichi whined. "Hey, you're not challenging me, are you?!"
"Maybe." Teruteru's eyes twinkled. He pushed back his own empty bowl and sat back in his chair, arms folded over his belly. "You just eat your fill, then, and I'll take your word for it. No overstuffing yourself, no bellyache afterwards, no hiccups or indigestion. Simply eat until you're satisfied, and I suppose I'll have to believe you."
Kazuichi swallowed. His pulse sped up, as did his breathing, and the familiar fluttery feelings of anxiety and excitement kicked up in his chest.
"Fine, then." He pulled forward the third and last pork cutlet bowl. "It's not like it's gonna be hard. You didn't even cook that much this time."
Halfway through the bowl, Kazuichi realized he might have overshot himself. He could totally eat more than three pork cutlet bowls if he wanted, but that was if he was trying to eat as much as he possibly could, not just until he was full. He took a break to finish off the pickled cucumbers and the roasted cauliflower, throwing defiant glances at Teruteru the whole time.
What does "satisfied" even mean? he thought as Teruteru got up to begin clearing the table. He dug back into the pork cutlets while Teruteru's back was turned. Not hungry? Not sick? How's he supposed to know how I feel, anyway? "Find your limits" my ass. This guy's full of shit.
"Oh, by the way," Teruteru said, turning around in the kitchenette just as Kazuichi swiped the last grains of rice from his bowl, "I did make dango for dessert, if you want any. Since you know your limits and all. Your call, of course."
Kazuichi stifled a burp with his fist. With his other hand, he massaged his belly under the table out of Teruteru's line of sight. His stomach felt warm and heavy, and so did his eyes. Even though he had woken up not long ago, he already wanted to go back to sleep. But that was just because deep fried pork cutlets were so rich, right?
It wasn't like he didn't have any more room. If Teruteru were stuffing him right now, it would be a while before Kazuichi got so full he had to stop (or at least rest). He was probably fine.
Besides, Teruteru wasn't a mind reader. So what if Kazuichi ate a little bit too much? It wasn't like Teruteru had to know, not as long as Kazuichi kept it to himself. And dango slapped. He could put up with feeling just barely too full if he got some good dango out of it.
"Yeah, I've got room." Kazuichi broke off in a yawn, covering it with the back of his hand. He blinked stupidly as Teruteru brought a plate with six skewers over to the table, each holding three perfectly round mochi dumplings, one pink, one white, and one green. He picked one up and held it up to the light. "Ooh, these look yummy! Kinda unseasonal though, aren't they? I mean, it wouldn't really be fun to go to a cherry blossom viewing in October. Not…not much to look at. Right?"
He yawned again before popping the skewer in his mouth and pulling off all three dumplings at once. Being full and sleepy always made him say dumb shit, but right now, he felt too warm and fuzzy to care. Teruteru smirked as he took a skewer for himself.
"Maybe so. But I know how much you like colorful things. Besides, we both said the L word last night, so that's worth celebrating, don't you think?"
Kazuichi choked. He swallowed the dango as fast as he could and went straight into a coughing fit. Teruteru watched, apparently unconcerned, as Kazuichi thumped himself on the chest and hurried to gulp the rest of his tea.
"Yeah," he croaked. "Uh, yeah. We sure did."
He thumped his chest again and belched. Teruteru raised an eyebrow. "Feeling alright over there?"
"I'm fine," Kazuichi wheezed. He burped again, quieter this time, and shook his head. "I-I just swallowed some air when I choked. I'm all good."
"Of course," Teruteru hummed, taking a second dango for himself. "It's a big step, you know. Do you feel the same way now that you've had a chance to sleep on it?"
He looked up at Kazuichi through lidded eyes, smiling that stupid mushy smile, the light flush on his cheeks making him look even more like a painting than normal. Kazuichi rested his elbow on the table, curling his fingers in his messy hair as he reached for another dango.
I feel like I shouldn't have eaten that third pork cutlet bowl, he thought, but saying so was definitely off the table. He stared vacantly at the dango in his hand, unsure if he actually wanted to eat it. It was freaking delicious, of course, but his stomach weighed him down more by the second. He could feel it gurgling down there too, probably trying to work out all the air he'd swallowed from eating too fast. And as if that weren't enough, his skin had started to feel tight, like his belly was a balloon rapidly filling up with water.
But he could still eat. He could eat way more than this if he wanted. So another dango or two couldn't make that much of a difference, could it?
"Kazuichi?" Teruteru snapped his fingers, and Kazuichi startled. "Anybody home? I was asking if you still love me."
Kazuichi bit the first dumpling off the skewer for moral support if nothing else. The back of his ears burned hot. "Huh? C'mon, man, don't – don't spring stuff like that on me! O-of course I lo –"
The word stuck in his throat. He cleared his throat to try again.
"Of course I – I mean, I definitely –"
Kazuichi's stomach gurgled, and he belched, loud and abrupt. He sank over the table, sullenly nibbling on his dango while Teruteru laughed.
"It's alright." He patted Kazuichi's hand. "You've always been a bit challenged in the verbal affection department."
"Shut up," Kazuichi whimpered. He rolled the last dumpling around his mouth a bit before he swallowed it, the sugar melting in his mouth soothing him a bit.
Teruteru picked up another dango and sighed before taking a bite out of it. There was only one left on the platter. Kazuichi stared at it, weighed his options, and then, with a barely audible groan, leaned forward to pick it up.
"It's just weird," he managed to say around the dango. "Like, it's – it's weird that I like you. I mean, don't take that the wrong way! I-it's just, it's weird that you like me. That feels wrong. N-not that I think this is wrong, like, us, or whatever, but, uh…"
Teruteru shushed him. He took Kazuichi's hand and gently ran his thumb over Kazuichi's fingers. "You said something like that before, didn't you? It's really too bad that it's so hard for you to imagine people liking you, especially since you've turned out to be such a gorgeous person."
He reached up to caress Kazuichi's cheek. Kazuichi squeaked and went scarlet. "Shut up," he managed again, and then shoved the rest of the dango into his mouth at once.
"That aside," Teruteru said, withdrawing his hand, "I was hoping that…well, if your feelings are anything like they were last night…that you might consider dating me?"
Kazuichi froze, his cheeks full of dango, with the stick poking out of his mouth like he'd been caught sneaking an ice cream bar. He pulled the stick out, dropped it on the table, and swallowed all three dumplings with a loud gulp .
"Y-you…" His heart slammed against his chest as blood rushed into his head so fast it made him giddy. Swallowing hard, he put his hand to his burning forehead as he tried again. "Wait, seriously? For real? Actual dating, like – like boyfriends?"
He clapped his hand over his mouth. It was stupid, especially after they'd both confessed to loving each other last night, but blurting out "boyfriend" like that still felt like going too far.
Teruteru's face lit up. "Well, I wasn't going to go that far as of yet, but I'd love to be your boyfriend! If that's what you really want, I mean."
Kazuichi could only stare at him, speechless. He wished he could hide under his beanie, but like a complete idiot, he'd forgotten to put it on when he got up for dinner. He settled for caging his eyes behind his hands.
"I-I mean – uh – hold on a sec." He gulped. Shit, that last dango was not sitting well. Why'd he decide to eat three, anyway?! "I mean yeah! I do! I mean – uh – g-gimme a minute. I gotta mentally prepare myself for this!"
Teruteru laughed. He scooted his chair closer to Kazuichi and rested his chin on his hand, fluttering his eyelashes the way he usually did right before he kissed Kazuichi senseless. "Take all the time you need. I know it's a big question. And to be fair, we have done all this a bit backwards."
"What – what do you mean, backwards?" Kazuichi squeaked. He really regretted that last pork cutlet bowl now. And those last two dango. And clearing out the pickled cucumbers and the roasted cauliflower. Dammit, it wasn't fair! He didn't even like vegetables unless Teruteru served them!
Teruteru took one of Kazuichi's hands in both of his own. "Well, usually the confession comes first, followed by a whirlwind romance…you know, dating, kissing, passionate lovemaking. Somewhere in there, one usually asks the other if they'd like to become an item. And it's only then, sometimes much, much later, that someone whips it out."
Kazuichi peeked out from behind his free hand. "Wh-what do you mean, 'it'?!"
"The L word, of course." Teruteru kissed Kazuichi's fingers. Kazuichi squeaked and turned an even darker shade of red. "So you see what I mean. The two of us went directly to getting it on, and yet we only confessed feelings for one another a few days ago." He looked up at Kazuichi again, that satisfied smirk taunting him. "And then you went and said the L word last night, so –"
"Shut up!" Kazuichi burped into his fist. "You said it too!"
"You said it first."
"Y-yeah, but…" Kazuichi gulped. Now that Teruteru had gone and filled his belly with butterflies, it was painfully obvious that Kazuichi had let his eyes get way bigger than his stomach…somehow. It hadn't seemed like so much at the time, but by now he felt stuffed. He must have eaten too fast to actually register how full he was getting.
At the last second, he realized he was about to hiccup. He shut his mouth tight and managed to stifle it with his hand. Somehow, miraculously, Teruteru didn't seem to notice.
"Anyway. You see what I mean when I say that asking you out is long overdue." He ran his thumb over Kazuichi's fingers, smiling wider when he shivered. "So, what do you say? Would you like to go on a date with me?"
Kazuichi gulped. Loudly. The air he'd accidentally swallowed sank into his stomach with a low groan.
"Y-yeah," he managed, trying and failing to sound chill with the whole thing. In reality, he was starting to get scared that his heart was gonna bruise a rib with how hard it was beating. "Yeah, that'd be cool. Uh."
It wasn't like it was his fault. Teruteru had distracted him. Kazuichi sucked in a loud hiccup, pressing the back of his hand against his mouth a second too late.
"What's this?" Teruteru asked, giving Kazuichi's hand a squeeze. "Now, I'm sure you didn't eat more than you bargained for, not after I warned you."
"I didn't!" Kazuichi shook his head so hard it made him sort of dizzy. "I-I just ate a little too fast, that's all. A-and then you – hic! – then you brought up dating, and you know I get the hiccups when I'm – hic! – when I'm nervous!"
"Mm-hm." Teruteru patted Kazuichi's belly. "How silly of me. I suppose this is an anxious bloat, then, not a food baby?"
"Shut up ," Kazuichi whined, his hand to his head. Teruteru pressed harder on Kazuichi's stomach until he belched, whimpered, and groaned. "Ow, ow…f-fine, you win, okay? Stop – hic! – stop that. You're gonna make me sick."
"What a shame," Teruteru said, although he didn't look disappointed at all. "And here I thought you knew your limits. I suppose I'll have to teach you after all."
He cast a hopeful glance at Teruteru, whose cheerful pink face only made Kazuichi's butterflies worse.
"Alright, alright. I'll come with you, you big baby." Teruteru interlaced Kazuichi's fingers with his own as they stood up.
He led him to the bed, where he nestled down next to him and gently began to rub Kazuichi's stomach, just like always. Kazuichi put his hands behind his head and belched, then sighed, content.
"Glutton," Teruteru said, his eyes glimmering with mischief.
"Like you don't like it," Kazuichi retorted. He hiccuped hard and winced. "Jeez. Why do I always have to get the – hic! – the worst hiccups in the world?"
"Karma, I expect." Teruteru leaned down to kiss him on the lips. When they broke apart, he looked even more mischievous than before. "By the by, I know an excellent all-you-can-eat place not far from here. If my cooking is just too delicious to resist, that might be a good place to really test the limits of your self-control, don't you think?"
Kazuichi's heart fluttered. He pulled Teruteru in for another kiss. "You paying? That's only fair if I'm the one getting – hic! – getting humiliated, right?"
"Don't say it like that," Teruteru said, though judging by the high flush on his cheeks, that was the best possible way Kazuichi could have answered. "It almost sounds like you've already made up your mind to fail."
They kissed and kissed, until Kazuichi thought he might spontaneously combust from joy. It was bizarre how quickly things could change from one day to the next. Yesterday he'd cried harder than he had in years, so terrified that Teruteru would leave him that he couldn't even speak. Tonight Teruteru had him speechless again, but this time because he was happy – so happy it felt like his heart could beat right out of his chest and fly away.
So happy he cried. So happy he started to shake. So happy that as kissing turned into something more, as Teruteru whispered declarations of love into his ear while he touched him gently, that he had to cling to Teruteru as tight as possible to prove that this was really happening, and it wasn't just some beautiful, beautiful dream.
Teruteru wanted to date him. Teruteru wanted to bewith him. Teruteru wanted him, period.
How the hell was he supposed to make any sense out of that?
Takes One to Know One will return on 11/15/22. In the meantime, I uploaded all the most recent chapters to this blog, and I'm always a slut for comments on AO3 if you're so inclined.
I'm gonna take this month to work on my D&D world, rest a bit, and maybe try some original fiction. I've been uploading more or less consistently since April 2022 which is more than I ever thought I was capable of, but damn, it's been awhile since I've taken an actual break from fanfiction writing 😭
Content Warning: Mentions of past underage sex, mentions of past dubiously consensual relationships, mentions of past student-teacher relationship
Usually I'm goofy in the "CW/Featuring" section, but it does get kind of oof in this one. If you wanna avoid the oofiest part, skip from the paragraph that ends with "He sunk his chin into the pillow instead" to the paragraph that starts with "Teruteru shook his head like he was trying to clear it."
~
Anything you want to know.
Kazuichi's mind was working overdrive. It never whirred like this unless he was working on a machine, so it was almost impossible to keep up with all this new information flooding him at once.
He walked into the sink. Teruteru caught his arm as he yelped and doubled over.
"Are you alright?" Teruteru asked, half-laughing as Kazuichi rubbed his hip and swore.
"I'm freaking fine," Kazuichi said, fumbling for his toothbrush. "I'm just…kinda dizzy…a-and I don't feel great."
Anything he wanted to know. There was a lot. Where did he even start?
Read on AO3
"Kazuichi." Teruteru put his hand on Kazuichi's wrist. "You're missing the toothbrush."
Kazuichi looked down to see himself squeezing toothpaste directly into the sink. He squeaked and pulled back.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Teruteru gently rubbed his back. "You look dead on your feet."
Kazuichi brushed his teeth as fast as possible and spat into the sink. "I'm fine," he repeated, breaking off into a huge yawn. "I'm…I'm fine. I'm ex…exhausted, and –"
He lurched forward and belched. Teruteru smirked as Kazuichi steadied himself against the counter.
"A-and I ate a ton," Kazuichi whimpered, pressing his hand against his bloated stomach. "But I'm fine. I-I'm trying to think what questions to ask. I just need a sec to…to get it together, that's all." He stumbled and caught himself on Teruteru's shoulder. "Jeez…i-is the room spinning for you too, or is that just me?"
"Let's get you to bed," said Teruteru, who had suddenly averted his eyes at the mention of 'questions.' Kazuichi didn't think that was exactly fair. This whole thing was Teruteru's idea, after all.
In fact, when Teruteru tucked him into bed and immediately bustled off to make tea, Kazuichi started to suspect he was already trying to back out of the whole thing. Groaning, he pushed himself up to sitting and wedged his pillow between the headboard and his back. He bit his tongue to keep himself awake.
"Ow!" He winced as he cradled his jaw. Teruteru looked up from pouring their tea.
"What on earth are you doing over there?" he asked with a nervous chuckle. Kazuichi had pulled open the bedside table drawer to rifle through it with one hand while he rubbed his jaw with the other.
Still wincing, Kazuichi pulled out the black diary-shaped box and flipped it open. He shuffled back against the headboard. "Are these fair game?" he asked, holding up one of the notebook pages covered in phone numbers.
Teruteru's eyes widened. "Wh-what – now, now hold on." He forced a laugh as he brought the tea tray over to the bedside table. "I thought you might want to know something about…ah, that music box, or – or maybe the town I grew up in, hm? Not some boring sheet of paper."
Kazuichi narrowed his eyes. "If it's so boring, why'd you hide it?"
"I – well, I wouldn't call that hidden , exactly –"
"It's literally inside a secret box," Kazuichi snapped. He held the paper away from Teruteru. "And you said I could ask about anything."
Teruteru circled around the bed. He cleared his throat. "Well, yes, but I thought you might want to know something interesting, not –"
"You can't say you wanna do one thing a-and then back right out of it!"
Teruteru scoffed as he climbed into bed. He pulled the covers over his legs and reached for the paper. "I'm not backing out of anything –"
Kazuichi held it out of reach. "Oh yeah? I thought you were done lying!"
Teruteru's face went slack. Just as quickly he looked away, fiddling with the covers and arranging his own pillow behind his back.
Kazuichi waited. The silence was getting awkward, and he was sitting there frozen with an old sheet of note paper held aloft like a flag. He gulped.
"Hand me my tea, will you?" Teruteru had moved on to fussing with his hair. He was wearing one of those old-fashioned night caps, the kind that miserable old creep wore in that terrifying American Christmas movie they'd had to watch in class last year. At least Teruteru's cap had thin blue stripes, just like the rest of his pajamas, which made it slightly less scary.
Kazuichi put the paper back in the box. He closed it, but kept his hand over the lid. "Which one – which one's yours?"
"The one that isn't polluted with cream and sugar," Teruteru huffed.
Kazuichi emitted a series of offended noises that never really managed to turn into words. He handed Teruteru his tea and crossed his arms.
Another silence fell. Teruteru sipped his dumb sugarless tea. Kazuichi slurped his superior version, still glaring.
"Alright, fine." Teruteru sipped his tea again, glaring at the end of the bed. "Sure. Let's start with the weird stuff, why don't we. We don't need context or anything like that."
"You're supposed to explain the context!" Kazuichi's voice cracked. He slurped his tea too fast and ended up in a coughing fit. Teruteru thumped him on the back.
"I will! But it would be a lot easier if – if –" He shook his head. "Never mind. Are you feeling alright?"
"I just – inhaled it –" Kazuichi managed.
"That's not what I meant." Teruteru rested the back of his hand against Kazuichi's cheek, then his forehead. "Are you warm? You feel warm. A-and you're very flushed, you know –"
"Maybe that's 'cause you keep yelling at me!" Kazuichi swatted Teruteru's hand away. "Talking was your idea, so why are you being so weird? If you don't wanna tell me anything, then – then lemme go to sleep! I'm really tired and my head hurts and my throat hurts and my stomach hurts and – and you know what? I don't feel alright. I feel like shit. Everywhere. All the time. But especially now. So –"
He stopped to breathe. Teruteru stared at him deadpan. "Is that all?"
"You –" Kazuichi grit his teeth. He downed the rest of his tea in one gulp, set his cup down hard on the tray, and flopped down with his pillow over his head.
"Can we not do this?" Teruteru said somewhere above him. Kazuichi emerged, spitting curses.
"Dumb stupid fucking glasses," he snapped, yanking them off to throw them onto the bedside table. "Jabbing into my freaking face…"
"Maybe they wouldn't if you didn't act like a child," Teruteru sniped.
"Oh – oh yeah?" Kazuichi pulled the blankets up to his eyes and glared. "Maybe they wouldn't if – if – your mom!"
The gasp from Teruteru was more akin to a high shriek. "You go an' get the hell outta here if you're jus' gonna talk like that!"
Kazuichi sat up and hit him with his pillow. Teruteru grabbed his own pillow and hit right back.
One frenzy of pillows, curses, feathers, and a broken teacup later, they both lay panting on the bed, Kazuichi sprawled over the rumpled covers, Teruteru gasping for breath on top of him.
"No more…'your mom' jokes," Teruteru panted, slowly crawling back to his side of the bed.
Kazuichi pushed himself up to all fours. "Fine," he croaked. He spit out a feather. "S-sorry about your pillow…a-and the teacup…"
Teruteru waved his hand. "Clean the mess off the floor and I'll forgive you. Not," he added quickly, "with your mouth."
"I wasn't – I wasn't gonna!" Kazuichi spluttered. He felt around on the bedside table. "Where the fuck are my glasses…"
"Watch the rest of the tea set!" Teruteru grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him back. He reached over Kazuichi to pluck his glasses from the table and slide them onto his face. "There you are. Dustpan and broom. Go."
Kazuichi grumbled, but he obeyed. Not that it was easy. He really did feel like shit, and he was still flushed, clammy, and short of breath from the pillow fight. He kept taking quick, shallow gasps, but it didn't help. It just made it harder to think.
"So y-you're really not going to tell me about the phone numbers?" he grumbled as he swept up the shards of broken cup next to the bed. Teruteru clucked his tongue and looked away. Kazuichi grit his teeth. "What about the stupid ring, then?"
Teruteru made a strangled noise. "I just – I'd rather start at the beginning." He smoothed back his hair and took a deep breath. "For goodness sake. Look, what – what do you already know about me?"
Kazuichi looked up. Teruteru was very intently examining the tear in the pillow they'd split open. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean…w-well, what have I told you? Or what have you sleuthed around and found out?" Teruteru waved his hand dismissively. "It's been two years. Two and a half. I've said a lot of things. I don't – ahem. I don't necessarily remember all of them."
Kazuichi winced as he stood up. "You mean all the lies you told and shit?"
"Well – I don't know if I would call them lies , but…" Teruteru coughed lightly. "Something. Along those lines. Yes."
Kazuichi made his way to the garbage can and dumped the teacup's remains (along with several feathers). He almost dropped the dustpan and broom right there before realizing that was probably a bad idea.
"Uh…" Kazuichi scratched the back of his head. His brain went into overdrive again. "Uh, yeah. Actually, I've been thinking a lot about this, so…"
"You have?" Teruteru blinked.
"Well, not about this ," Kazuichi backpedaled, placing the dustpan and broom under the sink, where they belonged. "About you. I-I mean, not about you! About – about your life and shit. And where you come from. And all the stuff you've said you've done. And – and it's not, like, a weird amount of time I've spent thinking about it or anything! It's like – it's like totally normal! A-and I definitely haven't, like, web stalked you or, or anything like that…"
He trailed off. The heat in his face reached an unbearable temperature as he slunk back to bed.
"Well, well, well." Teruteru chuckled, although he was still fiddling with the pillow. "I don't know whether I should feel scared or aroused. Perhaps…both?"
"Shut up," Kazuichi snapped, curling into a ball. He pulled the covers up over his knees again. "Okay. You – you said you were born somewhere around here. In Nishi-Abazu, I think? A-anyway, then you were raised in southern Aoyama, or – or you said you were, anyway."
He took a deep breath and glanced at Teruteru to see how he was doing. It was hard to read his expression. He was flushed, but that could still have been from the pillow fight.
Teruteru raised his eyebrows. "That's…pretty impressive, actually." He chuckled nervously. "What else?"
"Um." Kazuichi swallowed. "You, uh, said something about siblings. I remember that. I-it was way back in first year, but you said something crazy, like – like, they were in the running for Ultimate Male and Female Escort or something?"
"Ah." Teruteru twiddled his fingers. "Yes, I…I think I remember saying something like that…"
"And you said they made like, a hundred million bucks a year. Each," Kazuichi continued, now deep in his mental library of Things About Teruteru. "Also you said your family has like, a really fancy upscale restaurant, but I know that one's not true –"
"Yes, yes, keep going," Teruteru said quickly.
"And, uh…you said you were in this cook-off to the death?" Kazuichi put his hand to his forehead. "I-I don't know about that one. And, uh, that your apron came from…some dude in China. Or no wait, he got it commissioned from some dude named…Versace?"
Teruteru laughed suddenly. "Darling, Versace is a brand."
"Well, how was I supposed to know that?!" Kazuichi jerked his beanie down. His face felt like it was made of molten lava. "And, and, uh – jeez, there's a lot. I mean, it's been like two years. Uh, you said you were on Food Wars but the footage got stolen by pirates, and you said Gordon Ramsay asked you for your lamb sauce recipe, and once you said this guy named Paul Hollywood asked you to give him a handshake, and –"
"Alright, alright, alright." Teruteru waved his hands. He cleared his throat. "That's enough. So…ah. Hm. Where to begin."
Kazuichi peeked out from under his beanie. "I know the restaurant thing is a lie," he volunteered helpfully. "You guys actually have a family diner in this tiny little town in Kochi Prefecture. Ochi! That's where it was." He snapped his fingers and brightened a little. "It's actually kinda cute. I really like the way the roof fits into the, uh, posts…a-and anyway –"
"Wait a minute." Teruteru fixed Kazuichi with a perplexed stare. "You've – you've been there?!"
"What? No." Kazuichi scratched his head. "I've like, never left Tokyo. Except for class trips. And when my old man made me go visit my weird uncle that one time. And that time I was following – uh, never mind. I-I didn't get very far anyway, 'cause after the third train I was getting really motion sick, and then I got off at the wrong stop like way out in Kumagaya when I was trying to go back, and I got really lost, and – I think the cops took me home." He frowned and muttered to himself as he counted off on his fingers. "I don't really remember. For reference, I was like, twelve, so –"
"Okay, okay!" Teruteru's hand-waving got frantic. "I get the picture. Um…gosh." He took a deep breath and smoothed his hair back. He chuckled. "For a moment I almost forgot who I was dating."
"Wha – wait, who else is there?!" Kazuichi's heart stopped, then beat double time. "Wait, is that what all those phone numbers are? Are – are you seeing like, twenty other people behind my back?!"
"Of course not." Teruteru smiled up through his lashes. "I meant I should have expected the stalking."
"I'm not – I don't – th-that wasn't –" Kazuichi's voice had reached the upper octaves. "Th-the picture of your diner was already in that photo album, a-and all I did was – was Google some shit, and – well, m-maybe I looked at a registry or two, but c'mon, that's not really –"
But before he could fully explain himself, Teruteru stood up on his knees, took Kazuichi's face in his hands, and kissed him.
Kazuichi froze. Then he leaned into the embrace, breath stuttering softly as Teruteru lightly kissed him all over his face.
"P-people don't…" Kazuichi gulped as Teruteru pulled off his glasses so he could gently kiss his eyelids. "...usually, uh, react like this…"
"I would hope not," Teruteru scoffed. He kissed Kazuichi's forehead, then hugged his head close to his chest. His pajama shirt was open, as always, and Kazuichi's hot face pressed against Teruteru's soft, warm chest, gently thrumming with Teruteru's heartbeat. Kazuichi's ragged breathing slowed.
"Y-you're not actually hooking up with twenty other people, right?" he managed after a moment.
"No." Teruteru pet Kazuichi's hair. "Trust me, that part of my life is over."
"Okay." Kazuichi closed his eyes. Then they flew open again as he pulled back to stare wildly at Teruteru. "Wait, what do you mean, 'that part of your life'? Did you used to hook up with like twenty people at once?!"
"My body count is higher than you'd ever believe." Teruteru waggled his eyebrows. Then he coughed lightly. "B-but I suppose, since I'm trying to be honest here, it was…closer to seven, I think. People I was seeing at once, I mean. And to be totally clear, it wasn't an orgy or anything, unfortunately. I'm talking about hookups, friends with benefits, that sort of thing."
"Seven is still a lot of people!" Kazuichi's voice cracked. "When did this even happen?!"
"Um…" Teruteru stroked his chin. "End of first year, I think. And early second year."
"When you were fifteen?!"
"Sixteen," Teruteru corrected. He fluffed his pillow and leaned against the headboard again, staring wistfully into the middle distance. "Ah, those were the days. The naivete of youth, the purity of unblemished innocence…"
"I don't think you can call fucking seven different people 'innocent,'" Kazuichi spluttered.
"Everybody has their ho era." Teruteru waved him away. "Besides, what were you doing back then? Nipping at Sonia's heels like some little street pup?"
"No!" Kazuichi's face flamed again. "Not in second year! I was nipping at Hajime's heels!"
Teruteru laughed, and a second later Kazuichi realized what he'd just said. He dissolved into a flurry of curses and unintelligible spluttering before he gave up completely and screamed into his pillow.
A few moments later, Kazuichi lay somewhat subdued with his pillow over his head. Teruteru lay on his side next to him, idly latching and unlatching the fake diary.
"Where did you even find seven people to fuck?" Kazuichi said from under the pillow.
Teruteru clicked the latch shut. "Still stuck on that, are we?"
"It's weird!" Kazuichi peeked out at him. "It wasn't, like, any of us, was it?" A sickening jolt of jealousy shot through him as he ran through their list of classmates, rapid-fire pairing each of them with Teruteru. "I-if you tell me you did it with, like, Nekomaru or Akane or someone, I-I'm seriously gonna lose it…"
Teruteru propped himself up on one elbow. "Actually, me and Hajime –"
"WHAT?!"
"Joking! I'm joking!" Teruteru laughed as Kazuichi sat bolt upright, clutching his pillow and taking deep, rapid breaths.
"It's not – fucking – funny," Kazuichi said between gasps, squeezing the pillow to his chest.
Still chuckling, Teruteru laid a hand on Kazuichi's arm, but pulled back when Kazuichi flinched away. He sighed and fiddled with his pajama shirt. "No, you're right. I'm sorry. That was mean."
"Y-you think?" Kazuichi snapped. He shut his eyes and forced himself to take deep, slow breaths through the nose. "S-so…so, you were lying about being a slut, but…but not really."
Teruteru chuckled nervously. "Yes, that's more or less accurate."
"You, uh…" Kazuichi pinched the bridge of his nose to try and force himself to focus. "You were lying about having siblings. 'Cause I didn't see any pictures of them in that photo album, and your diner's website said stuff about you, but it didn't say anything about anyone else except your mom, which like…would be kinda shitty if you did have siblings, right?"
Teruteru bit his lip. "Well…yes, but actually no."
Kazuichi blinked. He put his hand to his forehead. "What the hell does that mean?"
"I don't have siblings per se," Teruteru said. "I do have half -siblings. Given everything else you remembered, I'm surprised you forgot that little detail."
Kazuichi sunk behind the pillow. "Well – hey, are you mad at me for stalking you sort of, or are you mad because I-I didn't stalk good enough? Pick one!"
"I'm not mad at you for either," Teruteru said. He managed a semi-confident smirk. "It's a little creepy, not gonna lie…but then, who am I to judge? Pot, meet kettle, right?" He smoothed his hair back. "Anyway, I do have two half-siblings, a sister and a brother, but…" He sighed. "Well, the whole Ultimate Escort thing was me throwing spaghetti at the wall. I-I was just curious how gullible you all were, really."
Kazuichi scratched his head. "Then…then how come they're not in your pictures or mentioned on the website or anything?"
"Because we're not close, unfortunately." Teruteru averted his eyes. "Not anymore. Same bastard father, three different mothers. You get the picture."
"Oh." Kazuichi said. He twisted the corner of the pillowcase. "So you've, like, never even met them?"
"Oh no, I met them." Teruteru rolled onto his back and combed his fingers through his hair. "When I was quite young, our mothers all had a little soiree once they figured out they were getting played by the same man. It was my mama's idea, actually." He smirked, but his eyes were distant. "Since I was a bit older than the two of them, I got to play babysitter. It was…nice, actually. I cried when they left. I thought they'd come to live with us forever."
He smiled up at Kazuichi like he was making a joke, but Kazuichi only frowned and scratched his cheek. "Really? Dude, that sucks."
Teruteru held his hand up above his head and examined it in the lamplight. "Yes, well, what can I say? All of us lived miles from each other. We were pen pals for a while, but once we hit our teens, we realized we didn't have any common interests, and…well, they lost interest in me after that." He shrugged, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. "Can't say I blame them, really. Big town schools, debate teams, baseball nationals, romance and drama and friends betraying friends…a small-town country bumpkin like me couldn't compete with all that."
Kazuichi chewed on the corner of the pillow. He lay back down and turned over on his back as well, so he could rest his hands behind his head. "They sound like dicks."
A startled laugh burst from Teruteru's lips. He rolled over to face Kazuichi, propping himself up on his elbow. "Why are you so interested in my family life, anyway? I thought for sure you wanted to ask about the music box. Which, by the way – present from Mama. She's always been chronically ill, but when I was in middle school, there was a brief period of time when she thought she wouldn't make it, so…"
Kazuichi gaped at him, horrified. Teruteru laughed and waved away his concern.
"Don't worry, it all worked out. She's doing much better now, although, you know. There are still bad days." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, that's that. Anything else you want to know?"
"Well – uh – hold on." Kazuichi turned on his side and held the pillow like a stuffed animal. "I'm still…I'm still processing all that. Wait a sec, okay?"
Here in the soft yellow lamplight, curled up in Teruteru's bed like so many other nights, it was hard to know how to feel. His eyes still burned from crying, his throat still hurt, and his stomach was still so full it was a little hard to breathe. Not to mention that Teruteru was telling him some seriously messed up shit and acting like it was nothing.
Against his will, he yawned, so he hurried to cover it with the back of his hand. Teruteru followed suit.
"Gosh, what a day," Teruteru mumbled. He shifted closer to caress Kazuichi's cheek. Kazuichi whimpered instinctively, flushed anew, and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Yeah." Kazuichi yawned again. "Shit…I-I'm not done asking questions, you know. I'm just…really sleepy."
"Hmm." Teruteru shifted even closer. He started playing with Kazuichi's hair. "Better fire away, then. I'm not sure how much juice you've got left in you."
"Don't say it like that," Kazuichi mumbled as Teruteru waggled his eyebrows, but he yawned again. Everything was starting to fade at the edges. He wasn't wearing his glasses, so everything looked blurry and soft, and…
Next thing he knew, they were kissing again, gentle and slow. The familiar wave of relief washed over him, followed by the even more familiar stab of shame. He blinked owlishly as they broke apart.
"Why are you so good at sex?" he said. The words felt heavy and jumbled in his mouth. Teruteru burst out laughing again. Kazuichi scowled and shoved their mouths together to shut him up. When he pulled away, Teruteru was still chuckling. "I-I mean it! It doesn't make any sense! You've been saying weird sexual shit since you got here, and I figured you were just making it up, but – b-but you actually know what you're doing. And you fucked seven people! S-so…so what gives?"
"Is it that shocking that some of us have sex lives?" Teruteru bopped him lightly on the nose.
"No! Well – well yeah, kinda, but…you?" Kazuichi scratched his head. "No offense."
Judging by the look on his face, Teruteru absolutely took offense. "Wh-what? Hey! Whaddaya mean, me?"
"Well – everyone hates you!" Kazuichi blurted. Teruteru's mouth dropped open, and Kazuichi wished he could swallow his own tongue. "I-I mean, not me, obviously, a-and – and I mean, you're a lot cooler than you used to be, but – c'mon, man, you know what I'm talking about! Back in first year –"
"I was not my best self," Teruteru interrupted, speaking each word very clearly. He sighed and rolled onto his back again. Kazuichi lay frozen, unsure if he was allowed to move closer. "For which I'm still paying the price. As are you."
He cast Kazuichi a meaningful glance. Kazuichi shrank back into the covers.
"Shut up. I –" Taking a deep breath, he cut himself off. He had to focus. He had to. Teruteru was so rarely honest like this, and who knew when he'd have another chance to learn all this raw, unfiltered information about the guy who was rapidly consuming every corner of his life? He swallowed back a wave of self-hatred and kept his eyes locked on Teruteru's lips. "I-I don't get it, though. If everyone hates you, then how –"
"People exist outside our class, you know." Teruteru stared up at the red canopy overhead. "There's the Reserve Course. There's the internet. And of course, there are plenty of clubs in the area."
Kazuichi stared at him. "But you were –"
"Underage?" Teruteru scoffed. "Please. Purchasing a fake ID was one of the first things I did when I arrived here. 'Underage,' indeed." His voice dripped with contempt. "As if you'd ever let a little thing like legal adulthood stop you from getting somewhere you really wanted to go."
Kazuichi started to protest, but something about Teruteru's expression stopped the words in his throat. His face had hardened, his jaw set as he glared at the canopy above him.
"I-I just –" Kazuichi swallowed dryly. He was starting to sweat. It was so much work, staying awake and forcing himself not to panic and trying to piece together the puzzle of Teruteru's life, that he was starting to get a really bad headache again. "Was it – was it 'cause of your siblings?"
Teruteru's expression went slack. He turned to face Kazuichi, eyebrows puckered in confusion. "Huh? What on earth do you mean?"
"Well, 'cause…" Kazuichi stared intently at a hangnail. "I mean, you said they ditched you 'cause you weren't cool enough for them, so is that why you lied about where you came from and pretended you were some rich city playboy and stuff?"
For a long moment, the only sound in the room was the steady hum of the fridge. Then Teruteru coughed out a laugh and shook his head quickly, waving his hands like he could shoo Kazuichi's words away.
"Of course not! D-don't be ridiculous. Why, everyone knows a country hick like me wouldn't last two seconds in the big city, so…so…" He shook his head. His smile seemed frozen on. "Besides, there was no way I was gonna waltz up to Hope's Peak with a title like Ultimate Chef and, a-and let everyone down by being some kind of uneducated hillbilly. No siree! I simply couldn't allow that."
Kazuichi had started chewing on the corner of the pillow again. "A-and the sex thing?" he asked as soon as Teruteru took a moment to breathe.
"The sex thing?" Teruteru's voice pitched up. He smoothed back his hair and forced another laugh. "Oh, that? Th-that's a funny story, actually. Really, it was all a misunderstanding, I swear. See, my town back home is so tiny, we don't even have a high school. A-and as the short fat queer kid in a tight-knit, conservative middle school, you can imagine I didn't have much in the way of…companionship."
He raised his eyebrows suggestively, but there was something about his face that stopped Kazuichi from leaning in closer. He sunk his chin into the pillow instead.
Teruteru wet his lips. "So, one day, I tracked down a certain high schooler who was notorious in our little community for having interests…similar to my own. I marked him when he walked back into town after school one day. He was with a few other boys I hadn't seen before. So, I interjected myself into their group and made my case."
He chuckled nervously again. "Oh, they laughed at me, of course. But then, they took me out to a secluded piece of farmland, and introduced me to all the wondrous passions of the flesh."
As he said this, he walked his fingers up Kazuichi's pillow, yanking it forward to pull Kazuichi's face within inches of his own. His normally rosy cheeks looked pale. Kazuichi squeaked, his eyes open wide, his heart pounding. He'd broken out in a cold sweat too, and nausea had started swirling in his stomach again.
"Once that thirst was awakened," Teruteru said, smirking as he slowly pushed himself up, "it couldn't be quenched." He pushed Kazuichi onto his back and crawled on top of him. Kazuichi spluttered, but then Teruteru's tongue was in his mouth again, licking deep. "That's when I learned sex is everywhere, if you know where to look for it. Our substitute music teacher, for example. Lovely older woman, she was. A real cougar. There was the local grocer as well. And of course, those high school boys and I became very well acquainted…"
He kissed Kazuichi's neck. Kazuichi gasped and fumbled for a hold on Teruteru's shoulders. "H-hey, hold on – wait a sec, man –"
"Anyway, all that to say," Teruteru went on, "when I arrived at Hope's Peak, I really thought gratuitous sex was just the way of things at high school. And if that was true of my little country town, then I figured it must go double in the big city. Scratch that, triple. Quadruple it, even!"
Teruteru kept laughing as he talked. Kazuichi didn't like it at all. It was a high-pitched, wheezy laugh, and it reminded him of the way that bitch Nagito always laughed whenever he started imagining crazy horrible things happening to everyone around him.
"That's what I told myself, anyway." Teruteru kissed again, and again, and again. "In retrospect, I...I guess I was desperate. There I was, alone in a strange new place, and I needed someone, anyone, to take the edge off..."
Kazuichi shook his head, but it was like Teruteru didn't even see him. He brushed a sweaty strand of hair off Kazuichi's face, smirking down at him like he always did – straddling him now, breathing heavy as he leaned in close to bite his neck.
"I shoulda known better," he panted when he came up for air. "No, I did know better. But by the time I realized what a massive shithead I was being, I'd already burned my bridges with all of you, and so...so I got creative. Clubs, dating apps, sugar daddies...I wasn't picky. I took anyone."
Then he kissed Kazuichi again, pushing harder and harder as he slowly lay down on top of him, pinning him to the bed, crushing his lungs.
"Don't –" Kazuichi spat out. He gulped. "Don't lie on me right now; I don't feel good…"
Teruteru hesitated. He pushed himself up on all fours, but there was something off about his eyes. As Kazuichi struggled to catch his breath, Teruteru leaned down again, gently caressing Kazuichi's cheek.
"Of course, love," he whispered, his breath hot and sickly sweet. "How could I forget? I've gotta be so gentle with you…"
He drifted closer, his eyes fluttering shut. For one long, frozen moment, Kazuichi couldn't move. Then he gripped Teruteru's shirt as tight as he could and shoved hard.
"S-seriously!" Kazuichi gasped as Teruteru tumbled back, overbalancing and falling hard on top of Kazuichi's legs. "Ow! Jesus, what the – what the fuck?!"
Teruteru shook his head like he was trying to clear it. He passed a hand over his eyes. "What? What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" Kazuichi squeaked. He sat up and pulled the blankets up to his chest. "Y-you can't just tell me fucked up shit like that a-and then try to make out with me right after! What the hell?"
Teruteru crawled back to his own side of the bed. He sat cross-legged next to Kazuichi and sighed, giving him a shaky smile. "Oh…yes, I see what you mean." He let out another high-pitched chuckle, glancing away. "Sometimes I forget how new to all this you are. That was too much; I apologize."
He reached out to caress Kazuichi's cheek again. Kazuichi jerked away, breathing shallowly, and Teruteru halted, a stung expression crossing his face.
"Too much?" Kazuichi repeated. He felt like a parrot. A sweaty parrot with a bad stomachache and the early warning signs of a migraine. "Th-that was seriously fucked up, man! What the – I-I mean, you were in middle school – and your teacher?! And – god, I'm g-gonna puke."
Teruteru rolled his eyes. "Oh, please," he huffed, crossing his arms. "Don't be so melodramatic."
"No, I'm seriously –" Kazuichi doubled over. He grit his teeth. "I'm seriously g-gonna be sick –"
Teruteru's eyes widened. He rolled out of bed at the same time Kazuichi tried to get up, got stuck in the blankets, and fell hard onto the carpet, elbows first. Next thing he knew, Teruteru shoved a metal bowl into his lap, and he sat there on the floor, vomiting next to the bedside table.
"Well, that's the last time I tell my life story to anyone," Teruteru said as Kazuichi sat retching into the toilet a few minutes later. He hovered next to him, his hand just above Kazuichi's shoulder, but he kept his face turned away. The little Kazuichi could see of it looked somewhat green.
"It wasn't that ," Kazuichi snapped, white-knuckling the toilet bowl. He retched again. "It's everything. I ate way too much, and I haven't felt good since yesterday, and today sucked ass. A-and it's been a long day, too, like – like if this was a book or something, today'd be like, eight fucking chapters all by itself…"
"What?" said Teruteru, glancing down at him.
"I-I don't know." Kazuichi put his hand to his head. He sucked in a deep breath. "I feel like garbage. I'm getting a migraine. And – shit." Another sharp breath. "Shit. Here comes another friggin' panic attack. Great. Just what I wanted. Jesus fuck! "
Teruteru only huffed. He placed his hand on Kazuichi's back, but took it away just as quickly. "May I – ahem. May I touch you?"
"Of course you can freaking touch me." Kazuichi grit his teeth. "Why are you even asking?"
"'Cause I –" Teruteru spluttered. Then he threw up his hands before sliding his hand behind Kazuichi's back. "Oh, for goodness' sake. You really are hopeless, you know that?"
"It's not like I'm not trying! " Kazuichi screwed up his face as his throbbing headache started cracking open his skull. White spots popped up whenever he opened his eyes. "I'm d-doing my best, and I'm trying not to be such an asshole, and I'm trying to listen and shit, like Ibuki said, and – fuck! Fuck, I really fucked things up with her, and – and for what? She was nice to me for no friggin' reason, and n-now she hates me, just like Hajime and Sonia and everyone else, and – augh, ow, ow, ow!"
He folded over, grinding his teeth and gripping his head as hard as he could. Teruteru rubbed his shoulder and said something in an urgent sort of voice, but Kazuichi couldn't make out the words.
He kept talking. Somehow that was the only way he could think of to stop the pain from getting worse. "God, everything's fucked! Everything's fucked up. I looked at those photos of your diner and I thought – I th-thought your life was perfect. I was freaking jealous of you, man. And I still – I st-still kinda am, I mean –"
He wiped his nose on the back of his hand and gasped for breath. Somehow he was sitting against the wall now, clinging to his beanie, while Teruteru knelt next to him, still saying something that sounded important, though Kazuichi still couldn't make anything out.
"I mean, your mom sounds awesome," he managed, struggling not to choke on his own tears. "I wish she was my mom. I wish I had a freaking mom at all."
He ground his teeth, summoning everything he had left in him to keep it together, but it didn't work. He burst into tears just as Teruteru leaned into him and finally said something Kazuichi was able to understand.
"Want to make her your mom?" he murmured, his breath warm against Kazuichi's ear.
Kazuichi sniffed hard and wiped his nose on his wrist. "What?" he croaked.
In his defense, he was in a lot of pain. Teruteru rubbed his back and simply waited.
A few seconds later, Kazuichi squawked. "Hang on, what – is that – d-did you just ask me to – to marry you or something?!"
Teruteru laughed, and Kazuichi cracked open his eyes just enough to glare at him through his tears. His vision clouded with white and he shut his eyes again as quickly as possible, gritting his teeth and trying not to scream.
"Joking, joking." Teruteru's voice faded in and out. He took Kazuichi's hand, pried it open, and pressed two oblong pills into his palm. "Though I agree with you. Mama's the best woman in the world. I'd love for you to meet her sometime."
Kazuichi popped the pills in his mouth and swallowed them dry. He gagged and swallowed back another wave of nausea.
"I can't, I'm gay," he choked.
Teruteru laughed again. "So am I, you goose."
"Y-yeah, but we can't – we can't tell your mom that –"
"Shh." Teruteru pressed a glass into Kazuichi's hand. He took a gulp and made a face as he swallowed cold water. "Don't worry, she's very open-minded. I've told her about you, you know. She thinks you're sweet, and she says she'd love to make you her world-famous udon soup…"
His migraine must have gotten too bad to bear, because everything sort of faded out after that. The next thing he knew, he lay tucked in bed, the pillow cool against his burning forehead, his throbbing headache slowly ebbing away in the comforting darkness.
–
He could hear Teruteru breathing on the other side of the bed. Clumsily, Kazuichi reached out to touch him. He landed on something that felt like an arm.
"Hey," he whispered, his voice creaking like old wood. "Hey, are you up?"
The sheets rustled. Kazuichi fumbled around until he found Teruteru's hand.
"Mm." Teruteru threaded his fingers through Kazuichi's. "Yeah. What is it?"
Kazuichi swallowed. His throat hurt like hell. "Can I…can I ask you one more thing?"
Teruteru shifted closer. "Sure."
A few moments passed. Kazuichi's resolve flagged, and he almost said it was nothing, never mind, go back to sleep; but his tongue stuck in his throat, and he couldn't get it to move until he managed to spit out the question that had weighed him down for weeks.
He coughed. And his voice cracked when he spoke, because of course it did.
"Why do you care about me?"
A heavy silence fell. Kazuichi shrunk back into the covers, even as he held tight to Teruteru's hand.
"I-I know I'm a pain in the ass to deal with," he croaked. "And I'm loud, and I'm messy, and I'm annoying, and –"
Another horrible few seconds went by. Kazuichi had almost convinced himself that Teruteru hated him and was just trying to figure out the politest way to say that, when his lover took a deep breath.
"I'm not sure I can put it into words," Teruteru said, playing with Kazuichi's fingers in the dark. "Obviously, I'm attracted to you, especially recently." A hint of a smirk crept into his voice. "And I love cooking for you. You're an excellent dinner guest. Very appreciative, very…enthusiastic."
"Shut up," Kazuichi mumbled. Teruteru hummed a short laugh.
"But the thing is, I…" he trailed off. "I don't know if I can describe it. I've never felt this way before, and I've felt a lot of things."
"Course you have," Kazuichi said into the pillow, but it was mostly to distract himself from his heart pounding against his chest.
"Of course," Teruteru agreed. He lifted Kazuichi's hand and gently kissed it. "With you, I…gosh, I don't know. I'm…very fond of you, I guess. More than fond. 'Fond' doesn't do it justice. And, if I'm being honest, it…it scares me a little."
A lump rose in Kazuichi's throat. He swallowed hard, but when he tried to speak, his hoarse voice barely rose above a whisper.
"It scares you ?" He squeezed his eyes shut tight. "I'm terrified."
Teruteru clasped his hand. He kissed Kazuichi's fingers again. "I know."
Kazuichi grit his teeth against the new tears pooling in his eyes. "Gee, thanks," he ground out.
"Don't mention it."
Another long silence. Kazuichi held tight to Teruteru's hand. It was so long before either of them said anything else that Kazuichi had started to think Teruteru had gone back to sleep.
"You know what it is?" Teruteru shifted closer. Kazuichi's eyes flew open. "You're very sincere. It comes so naturally to you. I…I envy that, in a way."
Heat rose in Kazuichi's cheeks. He gulped. "What…what's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean, you're…you're so genuine. You're always yourself, even when you don't want to be."
Kazuichi didn't know exactly how to respond. His breath came short and his heart beat fast, but he wasn't panicking. "I know," he ended up saying. "It sucks."
"I know it gets you into trouble." Teruteru ran his thumb over Kazuichi's knuckles. "And I'm not saying you don't have anything to work on. Not that I have any sort of moral high ground to speak of. But…gosh." He sighed. "Sometimes I wish you could give just a little of that authenticity to me."
Kazuichi gulped. He pulled the blanket over his head. "Oh – oh, yeah? Well, you – you – you're really good at stuff. And I wish you could give me your – your – th-the way you're always okay when bad shit happens."
Teruteru laughed ruefully. "What on earth makes you think I'm always okay?"
"Well –" Kazuichi fumbled for the right words. "That's not what I meant. More like – you know, people say mean shit to you, and you're just, like, chill. A-and you just told me about all this friggin bullshit in your life and – and you're still doing shit, and you're still going, and me, I – I mean, look at me." He gripped Teruteru's hand tighter. "I don't have even half of that shit going on, and I…m-most days it takes everything I've got just to get out of bed."
Teruteru shuffled a little bit closer. Now Kazuichi could feel just a bit of his breath on his face. "You," he said, running his hand up Kazuichi's arm to his shoulder, "are giving me far too much credit."
"I don't know what I'm gonna do tomorrow," Kazuichi whispered, following Teruteru's hand with his own. "Everything's different, and everything's changing, and I – it's like I don't even know who I am anymore." His voice broke. He swallowed hard. "So – so, how am I supposed to walk around like everything's okay when it's really freaking not?"
Teruteru didn't respond for a minute. When he did, his voice was soft, tinged with the accent that Kazuichi was slowly falling in love with. "I dunno," he said. "Mostly I just make it up as I go."
His hand brushed Kazuichi's cheek. He hovered there, and Kazuichi lay breathless, waiting.
"May I?" Teruteru asked softly.
Kazuichi nodded. Teruteru slowly caressed his cheek. He ran his thumb over Kazuichi's lips, and Kazuichi, not wanting to wait any longer, moved forward to kiss him.
It dimly occurred to him that Teruteru had never told him about those phone numbers at all, or about the ring…but did it even really matter? Who cared what sort of secrets Teruteru kept hidden as long as he still let Kazuichi share his bed? As long as he still wanted to kiss him until everything that hurt faded into soft oblivion?
The problem was that they had to wake up. If only morning would never come…if only they could stay like this forever…
"I love you," Kazuichi whispered. The words fell out on their own. He choked. Then held his breath.
Teruteru let out a soft, breathy laugh. He leaned in close to kiss Kazuichi once again. "I love you too, darlin'. Now go to sleep. You've earned it."
Chapter 21: Teruteru Gets A Taste of His Own Medicine
Feat. mutual stuffing, explicit sex, role reversal
Teruteru made Kazuichi clean up the whole dorm room.
It's not like it wasn't fair. After all, Teruteru bustled around the kitchenette, muttering to himself as he combined this and that from the basket Kazuichi had overturned and the leftovers still in the fridge, and Kazuichi had to keep swiping drool off his chin because the smells that slowly filled the room were so intoxicating.
God, life would be so much better if he could just eat Teruteru's food forever. If he could sit at the base of the counter and let Teruteru stuff him with every delicacy in the world until he burst. Then he'd never have to worry about shit like school, or money, or idiots like Hajime and Nagito, or his own stupid, crazy head…
Read on AO3
But first he had a stand mixer to fix. And once he finally managed that, there was grease to scrub off the floor. And to try to get out of the carpet. (Teruteru scolded him harshly for that one.) And after that was done, Teruteru made him clean up all the various candy wrappers, tissues, and crumbs he'd dropped over the past three days. He even made him vacuum.
("Where did you get that ?" Kazuichi exclaimed when Teruteru pushed the vacuum cleaner into his hand.
Teruteru pointed at the closet. "In the back," he said. "We all have one."
"We do?!" Kazuichi spluttered. Teruteru gave him a dead-eyed look and went back to cooking.)
When he emerged from cleaning the bathroom, Teruteru had loaded the table with chicken curry, rice, fresh bread, and a variety of other appetizers that smelled like heaven itself. He would have dived straight in, but Teruteru shook his head.
"Did you wash your hands?" he said in a tired voice.
Kazuichi sputtered, wiped his hands on his new sweatpants, and then hurried back into the bathroom, tail between his legs.
After dinner they were supposed to "talk." Whatever that meant. Kazuichi didn't want to find out. He had a bad feeling that if he thought about it too hard, he was going to melt down again.
Besides, he was so tired, so hungry, and so painfully aware of how scared he was. Terror lurked underneath his momentary calm, although he shoved it to the back of his mind and pinned it there with an endless chatter of anxious thoughts. And as the feast Teruteru had cooked up dwindled dish by dish, that terror got worse. He was sure that if he ever stopped eating, panic would swallow him up and he'd lay dissolving in its stomach forever.
"What are you thinking about so hard?" Teruteru asked as Kazuichi reached for the bread basket again.
Kazuichi stuffed a slice of baguette in his mouth. "Uh…sports." He swallowed. "Can you pass the butter?"
Several slices of bread later, he wished he'd eaten slower at the start of the meal. Or that he hadn't spilled quite so much on the floor earlier. Or that he'd picked a less filling crepe back when Ibuki offered him one. (Guilt twisted his gut. He served himself another plate of curry.)
Or fuck it, maybe if he hadn't spent every single one of the past three nights stuffed to the gills…and the night before that, and the night before that…shit, when was the last time he hadn't gone to bed too full to think? No wonder he'd put on weight so fast. The stretch marks all over his belly, butt, and thighs made a lot more sense now that he thought of it that way.
I've gotta do it, though, he reminded himself as spooned curry into his mouth. The spoon kept getting heavier and heavier. It makes Teruteru like me. And I need him to like me. Especially after all the bullshit I just pulled…and besides, we're not talking until after dinner, right? So if dinner never ends…
He glanced up at Teruteru. The shadows under his eyes caught Kazuichi a little by surprise. Now that he was looking, Teruteru looked really tired. Like, exhausted tired. And now that Kazuichi was paying attention, he realized that Teruteru was eating a lot more than Kazuichi had ever seen him eat in a sitting before. Usually when they ate dinner together, Teruteru ate a serving or two and spent the rest of the meal urging Kazuichi to eat more, then feeding him once Kazuichi got too full to feed himself…but tonight he'd pushed through three big servings, maybe four, and he was still going.
And he wasn't looking at Kazuichi. That was the really freaky part. Usually Teruteru couldn't take his eyes off Kazuichi during a meal, especially once he started slowing down, like he was now.
Kazuichi leaned back in his chair and shifted his weight to give himself more room, grunting maybe just a little bit louder than he had to. He heaved a big sigh, then thumped himself hard on the chest. A loud belch tore out of his throat.
"Jesus," he muttered, glancing quickly up at Teruteru again. He burped into his fist and shifted his weight again. "Shit, I'm really full…"
Teruteru looked up. A light flush rose on his cheeks, and Kazuichi's heartbeat picked up.
"Me too," Teruteru sighed. "I suppose I went overboard." He pushed his own plate back and rested his hands on his belly. Somehow it looked bigger than usual under the dark red turtleneck he was wearing. Maybe it gave him more room than the chef's uniform usually did…
Either way, Kazuichi had lost Teruteru's attention again. He was nibbling on a rice ball and staring into space. Kazuichi gulped.
"I guess I can probably finish this bread, since…since there's only like, three pieces left," Kazuichi said, leaning forward. His stomach gurgled and he winced. "Ugh. It's these freaking clothes…th-they don't get tight like my old ones did…so, so how am I supposed to know when to slow down?"
"Hm," said Teruteru, resting his chin in his hand and staring at nothing.
Kazuichi stuffed bread into his mouth and rubbed his belly. His stomach twisted, and not in the good way…in these new, loose clothes, without Teruteru on his lap kissing him senseless, his own skin felt a lot tighter than usual. His belly felt heavier, and solid, like he'd swallowed a huge rock. And it was really starting to ache, too.
Where's the stupid hiccups when you need them? he thought bitterly, finishing up the bread as fast as he could and swallowing a bit of extra air for good measure. His stomach groaned, so he started massaging with both hands, but it wasn't like when Teruteru did it. With a genuine whimper of pain, he slumped back into his seat and fell silent.
It seemed like forever they sat there, Kazuichi rubbing his stomach and Teruteru lost in thought, finishing up his rice ball. It was torture, actually, feeling stuffed like this and super anxious at the same time. Kazuichi rubbed his stomach a little harder and grit his teeth. If only he could keep eating…but with Teruteru eating this much, they'd already cleared out the table between the two of them. So what was he supposed to do? Sit there swallowing air until he either got the hiccups or burped so hard he puked?
"You didn't make any dessert, did you?" he managed after a minute or so, as he rubbed his stomach in slow, wide circles.
There came Teruteru's old smirk, if only for a second. "Why? Are you still hungry after all?"
"Obviously," Kazuichi muttered. A hiccup struck him like a bolt of lightning. His fist flew to his mouth as he flushed with triumph, and he fought to stop himself from grinning.
Teruteru smirked again, wider this time. He raised one eyebrow. "I see," he hummed. "Well, like I said, I did go overboard…there's a peach pie on the counter. Bring it over here, won't you?"
Kazuichi stared at him. He gulped and promptly hiccuped again. "Uh…me? B-bring…over here?"
Teruteru nodded. He brought his hand to his mouth to cover a small burp of his own. "I'm certainly not going anywhere."
"Uh…alright," Kazuichi said, and slowly pushed himself up to standing. He wasn't so full that he couldn't walk, but that didn't make it pleasant . Still, he had Teruteru watching him now, smirking a little as Kazuichi suffered…and unless Kazuichi was imagining things, which could always happen, he was turning pink as well.
"Dessert plates are in the top left cabinet," Teruteru said when Kazuichi staggered back to the table and set the pie down in the middle. "And cutlery is in the drawer to the right of the sink."
Kazuichi looked up at him, panting. He hiccuped and groaned as he pressed a hand to his stomach. "I-I have to – hic! – I have to get dishes, too?"
"Well, we're not eating with our hands," Teruteru said dryly. "And speaking of dishes, why don't you clear the table while you're at it? I've had a long, long day, and I really don't feel like doing anything else."
"You – hic! – you suck," Kazuichi whimpered, but he did as he was told. Even if it hurt like hell, Teruteru kept watching him, and that was his only goal.
By the time Kazuichi sunk back into his chair, the table cleared and the pie sitting between the two of them, his new goal was to be allowed to lie down. He groaned and slumped over the table as Teruteru cut into the pie.
"That was – hic! – the worst," Kazuichi whined. He belched into the crook of his arm.
Teruteru slowly lifted a piece of pie onto the plate in front of him. He kept glancing at Kazuichi and biting his lip.
"I thought you said you had room for dessert," he said, pushing it towards Kazuichi.
Kazuichi tried to glare at him, but the moment he met Teruteru's eyes, his face flushed. Teruteru flushed as well and looked away.
"'Course I do," Kazuichi retorted, pulling the pie to himself. "When – hic! – when do I not?"
Teruteru didn't answer. Instead, he kept looking at Kazuichi and glancing away, slowly pushing his fingers into his damp curly hair. With another heavy sigh, he cut a slice of pie for himself.
"This is ridiculous," he said a few minutes later when Kazuichi clumsily served himself a second slice. "We…we have things we need to discuss, you know. We're not gonna sit here and eat this whole thing."
They sat there and ate the whole thing.
Kazuichi had steeled himself to eat most of it, but Teruteru held his own, finishing his first slice, steadily working through the second while muttering protestations, and even making it halfway through a third before he laid down his fork and heaved a sigh.
"For gosh sakes," he groaned, leaning back in his chair. He was very red now, as was Kazuichi, hunched over his fifth and final slice. "Y-you can't just put things off forever…"
Kazuichi pushed back his plate and let out a long, loud belch. He rested his head in his hand, knocking his glasses a little askew, and tried to think. It was hard, stuffed like this. It wasn't the fullest he'd ever been, but he was still pretty damn full. And he'd never seen Teruteru like this before, eyes glazed over, breathing labored, lips swollen and dusted with sugar. He groaned again as his dick twitched in his pants.
God, he was exhausted, but dammit if this wasn't fucking hot as hell.
He held his stomach as he slowly stood up and dragged his chair around the table until it was next to Teruteru's. Then he plopped down, hiccuped, and belched again as he reached for Teruteru's fork.
Teruteru huffed out a soft laugh. "It's all yours, you big glutton," he said, cradling his stomach. "I honestly can't eat another…"
He trailed off. Kazuichi, face flaming, had lifted a bite of pie to Teruteru's lips.
"I-I just –" Kazuichi hiccuped, but he didn't move. He felt dizzy. Out of it. Like he might throw up. "Y-you do it for me all the – hic! – all the time…"
"Lord have mercy," Teruteru breathed, closing his eyes. He put his hand to his chest and winced as another burp rose out of him. "This just isn't fair…"
Before Kazuichi had time to lose his nerve, Teruteru leaned forward and took the bite. He chewed, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth, swallowed, and sighed.
"Happy?" he said weakly, looking up at Kazuichi through his lashes.
"Uh…almost," Kazuichi croaked, and he went back for another bite.
Now he got why Teruteru liked this so much. There was something mesmerizing about watching Teruteru swallow, following the wobble of his chin to the flex of his throat, and hearing him let out a soft, strained breath at the end of it. Even better was that he could tell that Teruteru wasn't lying about being stuffed. He held his stomach, pressing his fingers into his soft sides to rub gentle circles as Kazuichi fed him, and he shifted his weight now and then with a grunt, a sigh, and sometimes even a burp.
It made Kazuichi wonder how long he could keep going before Teruteru exploded. Which was ridiculous; he didn't actually want that to happen, but – but maybe if they could use something else, like a button-down, or a tight pair of pants…
Shit. He got it now. He got everything.
Teruteru closed his mouth over the last bite and leaned back, shutting his eyes tight as he chewed. With some effort, he swallowed, pressed his fist over his mouth, and sighed deeply. Kazuichi put down the fork and scooted a tad closer, turning to run his own hand over Teruteru's belly.
"Wow," he breathed, poking the top of it. Teruteru chuckled, then groaned. "It's – hic! – it's like, hard…"
"It's not the only thing –" Teruteru gulped – "that's hard." He flashed an imitation of his usual smirk before groaning again, then belched into his fist as Kazuichi slid his hands around to feel up his stuffed sides. "Honestly. I ha…haven't been this full in a while…oh!" He breathed a laugh as Kazuichi wedged his hand under Teruteru's belly. Kazuichi jerked away on reflex, but Teruteru caught his hand and guided it back. "No, that's…that's good…oh, for Christ's sake."
"What?" Kazuichi managed, gulping as Teruteru worked the end of his shirt out from under his belly and pulled it up to his chest. His bare stomach pushed out even farther, like a fleshy beach ball. If Kazuichi hadn't been feeling so sluggish, he would have had a hard time resisting the temptation to try and bat it around.
"Well," Teruteru panted, guiding Kazuichi's free hand to rest on top of his belly, "I was…trying to be the adult here. I-I figured we could eat dinner, have a conversa – hip! "
His whole belly jiggled. Blood rushed to Kazuichi's head and before he knew it, a wicked grin stretched across his face.
"Ha!" Kazuichi crowed. Teruteru had his hand over his mouth and looked like he'd been caught pants down in a church. "How do you like it?"
Teruteru huffed. "Gosh, you're getting lucky today." He tried to smooth his hair back but hiccuped halfway through. "I swear, this – hip! – this never happens…"
He glanced away, and the same weird look came over his face that he'd worn throughout all of dinner. At the same time, he moved Kazuichi's hand in small circles around the top of his belly, until Kazuichi got the hint and started rubbing on his own.
"It's just…" Teruteru sighed. Kazuichi inched even closer. "Th-there's so much we need to…to discuss…"
Kazuichi's gaze lingered on Teruteru's swollen lips. "Yeah," he muttered, and hiccuped hard. (Shit, had he always been that loud? Compared to Teruteru, he sounded like he was hiccupping into a damn microphone.) "I guess…"
Teruteru made an odd noise. He squeezed his eyes shut as he hiccuped again, and when he opened them, he almost looked like he was going to cry. Kazuichi's brain kicked into Hyper Panic mode, but just before he actually started panicking, Teruteru laid his hand on Kazuichi's cheek.
"You did this on – hip! – on purpose, didn't you?" he groaned, sliding his hand behind Kazuichi's neck. "You sneaky bastard…come here."
—
It was totally different, making out with Teruteru when they were both stuffed like this.
For one, everything was slow. In Kazuichi's case, a little sloppy. And since Teruteru didn't coo insults every few seconds like he usually did, nobody really said anything. They just sat there, stuffed out of their minds, with their tongues in each other's mouths.
Teruteru's hiccups fizzled out after the first thirty seconds or so. As usual, Kazuichi's just got worse and worse, but Teruteru didn't crawl onto his lap and press him into the chair this time. Instead, he made little noises of pleasure every time Kazuichi hiccuped into his mouth, but he didn't move from his seat.
So, without really thinking about it, Kazuichi shifted forward to press harder into Teruteru's mouth. First he braced his hand against the back of Teruteru's chair for support, and then, slowly, stood up just long enough to rest his knee in between Teruteru's legs.
"Ah," Teruteru gasped, and sucked in a deep breath, but Kazuichi surged forward before he could say a word.
For all of ten seconds, it was beautiful. Then Kazuichi's stomach cramped, hard, and he hissed in pain as he fell onto Teruteru's lap.
"Ow!" Teruteru yelped as Kazuichi keeled over into him, clutching his stomach. "Lands' sakes…st-stand up, will you? You're heavy."
"S…sorry," Kazuichi moaned, struggling to brace his foot against the floor again. Teruteru panted underneath him, his belly pressing tight against Kazuichi's with every breath.
"As if you weren't…a good foot taller than me to begin with," Teruteru wheezed, "you've p-put on quite a few pounds lately. Don't know if you noticed…"
He squeezed Kazuichi's love handles, hard. Kazuichi moaned and nearly toppled over again. "Shit. Shit, my – hic! – my st-stomach…"
"I understand completely." Bracing his hand against Kazuichi's chest, Teruteru gently pushed him a few inches away. He rubbed his own belly as Kazuichi staggered back, catching himself on the table. "L-let's take this to my bed, shall we?"
Somehow they made it over, Kazuichi stumbling from exhaustion, and Teruteru more or less waddling. For a minute or so they just lay there, Teruteru panting on his back while Kazuichi curled up around his stomach and whimpered.
Usually, this was when Teruteru would lay him out flat, kiss the sense out of him, and then move on to whatever sort of trouble the two of them were feeling that night. But now Teruteru lay comatose beside him, rubbing his stomach and groaning at intervals.
"Should never've…cooked so much," he mumbled as Kazuichi shifted towards him. "Shoulda known…this sorta thing would happen…"
Kazuichi dropped his glasses on the bedside table and managed to prop himself up on one elbow. Everything hurt, from his eyes to his throat to his stomach to every muscle in his damn body, and he just wanted to kiss it all away. He pressed up against Teruteru's side and, swallowing the sudden lump of nerves in his throat, slid his calloused hand along Teruteru's soft cheek to turn his face towards him.
Teruteru's eyes widened. "Oh. Hello," he said. Kazuichi shut his eyes tight and kissed him.
The snarky remarks he'd braced himself for never came. Teruteru simply sighed into the kiss, threaded his fingers up into Kazuichi's hair, and pulled him closer. From there, it sort of made sense for Kazuichi to roll over a little so he could press Teruteru down against the pillow, and after that it was easiest to brace himself against the mattress on either side of Teruteru's head, and the next thing he knew, he was over Teruteru on all fours, kissing as hard as he could.
He didn't know how long it was before Teruteru gripped him by the shoulders, pushing him away. Kazuichi broke apart with a gasp and pulled back, head spinning.
"Easy…easy on the tongue, sweetheart," Teruteru managed between gasps. "I st-still have to breathe…"
"Sorry," Kazuichi rasped, and plunged back down – only Teruteru had said he had to breathe, so he settled for kissing the edge of his mouth instead. Teruteru made a sort of surprised, happy hum, so Kazuichi tried again, but he was so exhausted that he missed and landed somewhere along the jaw.
"Oh, yes," Teruteru breathed, combing his hand down through Kazuichi's hair. "I like that."
So Kazuichi did it again. And missed again, landing a bit closer to the neck. It didn't help that he couldn't really see without his glasses. Teruteru kept pulling him in closer. He kissed down Teruteru's neck, since that was sort of what Teruteru liked to do to him, and…jeez, it wasn't half bad on this end, either. Teruteru's neck was so warm, too, and soft, especially where it melted together with his double chin, and for reasons Kazuichi didn't exactly understand, he found himself flicking out his tongue and pushing in.
"Y-you really must think you're a dog," Teruteru teased, gently pulling off Kazuichi's beanie so he could run his hands further up through his hair. "Try…try there…ahh, yes, that's good…now try sucking a bit. I know you're good at that…"
"Shut up," Kazuichi slurred, and sucked as hard as he could.
Teruteru made noises Kazuichi had never heard from him before. Soft gasps, surprised giggles, reactive little moans…and the longer it went on, the more frenzied Kazuichi got. It was stupid, but it felt kinda like finding out a jetplane that was already really sick had a secret compartment full of buttons and switches that he'd never even known he could mess with before.
Like, he'd never even considered that he could kiss Teruteru anywhere other than his mouth. But that was stupid, of course he could. He could kiss anywhere he wanted, anywhere at all…
He hiccuped hard and lost his suction on Teruteru's neck. Teruteru laughed and guided his head towards his collarbone.
"Try…try there," he panted. Kazuichi did, but he couldn't get the same suction going again. The harder he tried, the worse it went, until Teruteru tightened his fingers in Kazuichi's hair and gently pulled up. Kazuichi broke loose with an embarrassing pop and wiped his mouth on his wrist.
"I was – hic! " He pitched forward and belched. "I-I was getting there…"
"It's alright," Teruteru said, guiding him back to his neck. "Do it…do it here again."
Kazuichi went back at it. So this was like discovering a hidden control panel if he wasn't the Ultimate Mechanic. If he didn't know anything about engines or circuitry or anything. Also, if the jet he was working on could yell at him and throw him out of the garage if he did a bad job.
Great. This was fine. Everything was fine. He was totally good.
"Here," Teruteru panted after Kazuichi had sucked on his neck so long his lips had started to hurt. "I-I have an idea. Help me take my shirt off, will you?"
Kazuichi gulped. "Uh huh," he managed, and hiccuped as he tried to yank Teruteru's shirt up off his head. It was a lot harder than it should have been. His fingers kept slipping, and he accidentally knocked Teruteru back down into the pillows when he tried to sit up.
"S-sorry," Kazuichi managed as Teruteru put his hand to his belly and groaned. He jolted with another hiccup and let out a nauseating belch just as Teruteru managed to get his shirt over his head.
"S'alright," Teruteru grunted as he flopped down again, panting. Kazuichi hiccuped again as Teruteru reached up to touch his face. "How are you doing, though? Those hiccups sound nasty."
"I'm – hic! – I'm fine," Kazuichi gulped. "Wh-what did you want me to – hic! – t-to do to you?"
Teruteru's blurry red face took on a mischievous grin. "Well, since you seemed to enjoy sucking on my neck so much…"
Kazuichi's stomach dropped through the floor. He swallowed a full gulp of air and nodded so fast the room spun. "Uh – hic! – uh, y-yeah, okay, why – hic! – why the f-fuck not…"
Heart pounding in his mouth, he hooked his fingers into Teruteru's slacks and jerked down. All at once, Teruteru laughed and pushed Kazuichi's arm away with his knee.
"No, not there," he said as Kazuichi went fire engine red and spluttered a dozen half-baked excuses. "N-not yet. I'm not sure I trust those teeth of yours."
Kazuichi ran his tongue over his incisors and whimpered. His teeth, his stupid fucking teeth…why'd he ever think it was a good idea to file them? Shouldn't he – (and here a wild rush of hysteria hit him) – shouldn't he have known something like this was gonna happen?
"Th-then what –"
"My nipples." Teruteru smirked up at him as Kazuichi froze halfway back to his neck. "I thought a glutton like you might like to shove his mouth full of some juicy man titties, hm?"
"Uh –" Kazuichi hiccuped so hard it hurt everything. "Uh…"
He looked down. Teruteru's plump chest was right underneath him, as blurry as everything else, which made him look even softer than usual. His nipples perched atop two soft hills, like (and here Kazuichi really thought he might be losing it) two little mounds of whipped cream. Kazuichi wet his lips and hovered over them, frozen.
"What's the matter?" Teruteru said, sounding out of breath and far away, and Kazuichi jolted back to life, sweat pouring down his face.
"Nothing," he gasped. Another rib-crushing hiccup seized him. He groaned and pressed a hand against his stomach. "N-nothing, it's – it's all good."
"You don't have to if you don't – " Teruteru started, but Kazuichi plunged his head down anyway, closed his mouth around Teruteru's left tit, and sucked hard.
It felt weird at first, like sucking on a sweet-smelling, hot, sweaty pillow that liked to make fun of him. Then something primal took over and Kazuichi pushed his face into Teruteru's chest as he sucked harder and harder and harder.
The gasps and moans pouring out above his head only whipped him into a higher frenzy. His stomach hurt bad now, really bad, so he tried pressing closer to Teruteru's belly. Teruteru burped, and Kazuichi felt it as well as heard it. And shit – everything hurt, and he was so tired, and for some fucking reason he was crying again, and –
Another violent hiccup broke his suction. He belched, growled in frustration, and pushed himself up on all fours as he gasped for breath. His arms shook.
Teruteru ran his hands from Kazuichi's neck down to his arms, gripping the bare skin right below the sleeves of his T-shirt. His belly trembled. He was laughing, Kazuichi realized, and blood rushed into his cheeks.
"Why – hic! – why are you l-laughing at me?" He grit his teeth. "I-I know I don't – hic! – know what I'm doing, but you don't have to – hic! – m-make fun of me for it…"
Teruteru slid his hand along Kazuichi's cheek. He smiled, his eyes half-lidded, as he brushed away a tear with his thumb. "I'm not. I just think it's funny that you cry even when you're on top, that's all."
"I –" Kazuichi sniffed, gulped, and wiped his face angrily on his shoulder. "Sh-shut up! It's – hic! – it's a lot, okay? Everything's a lot. Everything's hard, and – hic! – everything hurts, a-and –"
"Everything's hard, is it?" Teruteru raised one eyebrow. Kazuichi clamped his mouth shut and whimpered.
"Shut up," he whispered, and hiccuped so hard he almost puked. Teruteru tightened his grip on Kazuichi's arms. His smile faded.
"Are you alright?" he asked as Kazuichi tried and failed to blink back tears. "You're shaking."
"I'm fine," Kazuichi insisted through gritted teeth. "I'm just – hic! – my stomach hurts and I'm – hic! – s-so…goddamn tired…"
He leaned down to kiss Teruteru on the mouth again. That was safe. At least he knew how to do that. And for the brief moments it lasted, everything but the two of them disappeared.
"Goddammit!" Kazuichi hissed after yet another hiccup stabbed him in the gut. He shoved his tongue back into Teruteru's mouth, but within seconds, he hiccuped again. Teruteru slid his hand behind Kazuichi's neck and pulled him down into another kiss before releasing him and sinking back into the pillow.
"I could do this all night," he said with another infuriating, blurry smirk, "but maybe we should wrap this up for your sake."
"F-fuck off, I'm fine," Kazuichi managed, before hiccupping up a painful belch from the pit of his stomach. He tried to jerk down his beanie, but as it wasn't there, he settled for covering his face with his hand.
Teruteru chuckled. He slid his hand behind Kazuichi's neck again, and as he pulled him down for another short kiss, he slowly bent his leg until his knee nestled snugly into Kazuichi's crotch.
"Oh, shit." Kazuichi lurched forward. "Shit, I – I forgot –"
"You forgot about your own erection?" Teruteru laughed.
Kazuichi growled. "Shut up, I was – hic! – I was f-focused…"
Teruteru pushed his knee into Kazuichi's crotch a little harder, and Kazuichi gasped through his teeth. "Well?" Teruteru reached up to stroke Kazuichi's face. "What are you gonna do about that?"
It took Kazuichi a full five seconds to realize that was a real question. Teruteru stared up at him expectantly, satisfaction plastered all over his smug little face, but he was flushed and panting too. Kazuichi looked down and saw Teruteru's slacks tented sharply at the crotch, then looked back at his red, expectant face.
"Well?" Teruteru said again. "You're in charge."
"I'm – I'm what?" Kazuichi hiccuped and shook his head. "I-I mean – uh, yeah, yeah, I guess – I guess, sure, yeah. Uh – hic! – I'm gonna…I-I'm gonna…"
Even without his glasses, he could see Teruteru's smirk widening. Kazuichi flushed miserably and simultaneously felt himself get harder.
"I-I'm gonna jerk myself off, and – a-and you're gonna watch," he blurted.
"Ooh, I like that," Teruteru purred as Kazuichi clumsily pulled his sweatpants down. "And what about me?"
Kazuichi froze with his dick in his hand. "Wh-what about –"
"Surely you're not going to leave me all pent up like this, are you?"
Kazuichi glanced down at the tent in Teruteru's pants again. He swallowed. "I – I'll do you next."
"How can I be sure?" Teruteru interrupted Kazuichi just as he'd started stroking his dick. Kazuichi froze again, a pained whimper escaping his lips. "You're not usually very lucid after you come, you know. You usually go right to sleep, or run away crying, or…"
"Shut – shut up!" Kazuichi's voice cracked. This time the rush of heat to his face had nothing pleasant about it. He felt like he might throw up if he didn't finish soon. "I – hic! – so what, you want me to do you f-first?"
"Hmm…" Teruteru sighed and shifted his weight. His knee brushed Kazuichi's dick again, and Kazuichi cried out. "But how do I know you can wait that long?"
"I –" Kazuichi gulped. "F-fuck off! I thought you said I was in charge!"
Teruteru slid further under him, smiling from ear to ear. "Aren't you?"
"Y-yeah! I think?" Tears of frustration welled up in Kazuichi's eyes. Dammit, he couldn't do these stupid mind games right now! "Just – hic! – just – fine, sh-shut the fuck up!"
In one motion he hooked his fingers into Teruteru's slacks and boxer briefs at the same time and yanked down. He barely had time to register the snap and Teruteru's brief cry of pain (followed by a breathy moan) before he thrust his pelvis forward and grabbed both of their dicks at the same time. Teruteru cried out again, and Kazuichi pitched forward as he stroked as fast and hard as he could.
As he neared a fever pitch, he had a brief, glorious fantasy of them both climaxing at the same time. But of course he came first, spasming with a shout of ecstasy and frustration, and then he had to somehow focus on getting Teruteru off while his own brain was still popping with static.
And that was harder than it should have been. It seemed like everything he did was wrong. He either stroked too hard or not hard enough, and Teruteru kept gasping instructions between moans, and at one horrific point he actually felt Teruteru softening in his hand. When he finally came, thanks to a mix of Teruteru thrusting and Kazuichi trying his goddamn best, Kazuichi actually let out a long, shaky sigh of relief.
He couldn't meet Teruteru's eyes. Instead, he rolled off the bed and stumbled towards the bathroom, grasping for the door handle long before he got there.
"Where are you going?" Teruteru panted, propping himself up on one arm.
Kazuichi gulped. He scrubbed his face on his shoulder again (he was still fucking crying) and sniffed hard. "I'm – I'm getting the aftercare shit," he choked, and disappeared into the bathroom as fast as he could.
The high from his orgasm was fading fast, and in its place was nothing but sheer exhaustion. White spots popped in front of his already blurry vision as he fumbled around for a clean washcloth, and by the time he made it back to bed, he felt like his bones had been swapped out for iron.
Teruteru was sitting against the headboard, examining Kazuichi's glasses. He put them on and whistled. "Gosh, your vision really is terrible," he said, turning to Kazuichi with a smile that probably would have looked ridiculous if Kazuichi had been able to see it right.
"Gimme those," Kazuichi mumbled. He rested the cool washcloth against his own head. "P-please."
Teruteru handed them over. Kazuichi put them on, and at last everything looked clear again. Not that it made him feel any better.
"You know," Teruteru said as he took the washcloth from Kazuichi's hand and gently started cleaning both of them up, "next time you want to tear my clothes off me, all you have to do is ask."
"Wh…what?" Kazuichi blinked stupidly. Then he followed Teruteru's gaze to his slacks, crumpled on the floor, with the button laying several inches away. He flushed. "Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to…"
Teruteru kissed him on the cheek. "You don't know your own strength," he murmured, with another devious smirk.
All Kazuichi could do was stare back. Even sitting up was taking it out of him. Teruteru's smile faded.
"You're right," Teruteru sighed. "It's time to stop flirting, I suppose. This talk needs to happen."
He said it like he was scolding himself as much as Kazuichi, but Kazuichi's face still went pale. He folded over his stomach and shook his head. "No, I didn't mean – I don't wanna – I can't."
"You can't what?"
"I can't – I can't talk about this." He shut his eyes tight. Slowly, he took a deep breath. Teruteru put his hand on Kazuichi's shoulder, and Kazuichi had to force himself to let his breath out slowly instead of warping it into a sob.
"About what?" Teruteru persisted, shifting closer. "About…what happened in the shower earlier? Or you eating off the floor, or…"
"Any of it." Kazuichi swallowed hard. "And if you're – if you're trying to break up with me…"
Teruteru coughed. He cleared his throat, but he didn't quite meet Kazuichi's eyes. "Break up – what? Um, what made you think that was happening?"
"Cause –" Kazuichi's head throbbed. He grit his teeth. "Y-you said, 'We need to talk,' and that's what that means, right? I mean, I spent like all summer watching stupid TV dramas, and –"
He flushed hot. Teruteru made a soft noise he didn't understand, and somehow that only made him feel worse.
"A-anyway, forget about that! I-I know it's only a matter of time before you finally get sick of me." He gulped. "Everyone does. And I didn't used to get why, but now I – now I think maybe I always knew, deep down, and I just – I couldn't let myself think about it, because wh-when I think about shit like this, I freak out. Bad. Y-you know exactly what I'm talking about. And I'm sick of it, and you're sick of it, and I just want it to stop –"
He took another deep breath. Teruteru gently rubbed his shoulder. He might as well have put a knife through Kazuichi's back.
"Calm down, sweetheart," he murmured. Kazuichi shoved his fingers under his glasses.
"I'm trying!" His voice broke. "A-and stop calling me sweetheart! It's weird, and I know you don't actually like me, and –"
"What?"
"You can't," Kazuichi croaked. "It's impossible. Nobody likes me, and they shouldn't, cause I'm a bad person, and – and I really, really don't wanna talk about this, okay?" He scrubbed the tears from his eyes and pushed his glasses into place. "Besides, what about you?"
Teruteru blinked. "What about me?"
"What about – if we're gonna talk about fucked up shit we're doing, what about you?" Kazuichi took a deep breath and steadied himself against the mattress. "You hid my freaking keys!"
"Um –" Teruteru dropped his eyes. He fiddled with his fingers. "W-well, about that…"
"A-and you shut me in here alone," Kazuichi pressed on, "for days. And you're hiding all this weird shit, like that weird sheet full of phone numbers, and that ring, and that photo album and that music box –"
Teruteru stiffened. Kazuichi went red.
"I mean – I mean, not that I know about a music box or anything – I mean, I totally haven't touched it or fucked with it or –"
"I know you know about the music box," Teruteru interrupted. "I've seen you get into my things before. What did you do to it?"
Kazuichi gulped. "Nothing. Nothing, f-forget about that."
But Teruteru was already sliding out of bed, groaning a little as he steadied himself against the bedpost. Kazuichi watched in horror as he walked to the closet, pulled out the music box, and twisted the key on the bottom.
A light, plinking melody filled the room. Kazuichi curled into a ball. He'd heard this a hundred times, every time he went back to the stupid music box to disassemble it and reassemble it when he got bored, but based on the look on Teruteru's face, it must be wrong, or damaged, or something…
Teruteru set the music box down on the table. He stared at it. "This thing hasn't worked in years."
Kazuichi sat in frozen silence. Teruteru's eyes had gone vacant. The music from the box petered out, and for a few terrible seconds, nobody said anything.
Then Teruteru heaved a sigh. He shut his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temples.
"I owe you an apology for the keys," he said in a strangely thick voice. He cleared his throat. "And I suppose I owe you an explanation for some other things as well."
Kazuichi didn't dare move as Teruteru circled around to the bed. He didn't meet Kazuichi's eyes, not until he lay his hand on Kazuichi's arm and Kazuichi flinched back.
"Come on," Teruteru said quietly. He tugged Kazuichi towards the edge of the bed. "Let's get ready for bed. After that, I…"
He hesitated. Then he shook his head and took a deep breath, as if he were bracing himself for something.
"After that, I'll tell you anything you want to know."
CW: Big Sad, shower 0.0, Well If It Isn't the Consequences of My Own Actions, 18+, NSWF
At first, the mounds of food he'd spilled over the floor had looked overwhelmingly large. Now, Kazuichi wished he'd turned the whole damn basket on its head.
As long as Teruteru held tight to his hair, jerked his head his way and that, sending shocks of pain through his skull every time, he was the only thing in the world. But as soon as his fingers started slipping, the room turned upside down.
Kazuichi moaned and shook his head. "Wait…" His own voice startled him. Since when had it been this low and rough? "Wait, I-I'm not done…"
He spotted another slimy glob of white in a puddle of gravy and pushed his tongue into it. Savory first, then he tasted the faint, now-familiar suggestion of metal, with a hint of sweetness…like the echo of sugar scattered over a sheet of iron. Maybe he was crazy (he was definitely crazy), but he really, really liked it. He'd suck down a full bottle of this stuff, no questions asked. Hell, was this what sucking dick was like? Did he want to suck Teruteru's dick? God, he did, didn't he? Figured.
Somewhere in the very back of his brain, the version of himself from a month and a half ago started losing his shit because wanting to suck another guy's dick was really, very, way too much, unconditionally and irrevocably gay. Present-day Kazuichi started experiencing shortness of breath and heart palpitations. He coped by shoving his face into the carpet and licking up every last splodge of food (and cum) in sight.
The fingers in his hair relaxed. Teruteru was letting go for real, and Kazuichi was falling. He gasped and lunged forward, face planting into the floor as he grabbed hold of Teruteru's foot.
"Don't –" He sucked in a sharp hiccup and accidentally swallowed a huge gulp of air. Grimacing, he shuffled closer, clawing his way up Teruteru's leg. "D-don't leave…I-I'm not done, I don't wanna – don't wanna stop…"
Teruteru was sitting on the floor, leaning back and breathing heavily. He was flushed all over, but his face looked especially red.
"Oh, please," he panted, gazing down his nose at where Kazuichi lay groveling at his feet. He laid his hand on top of Kazuichi's, and just like that, Kazuichi went still. "A-as if you could go again…so soon…"
He mopped his face with his hand. Kazuichi looked up through tear-filled eyes to watch Teruteru's belly rise and fall as he struggled to catch his breath. His pompadour was falling apart, curls spilling every which way and loose wavy hair plastering itself to his forehead. The sight of it made Kazuichi's heart kick even harder against his chest.
With a pathetic whimper, he pushed himself up just far enough to flop face-first into Teruteru's belly. Teruteru let out a startled "Oof!" as Kazuichi threw his arms around him and hugged tight. Kazuichi grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself for a rough push, but nothing happened. Teruteru just sat there, panting, Kazuichi rising and falling with each breath.
"Just…" Kazuichi didn't know he planned to say anything until he heard his own voice. "Just don't go. Don't go, don't go, please…please…"
"Shh." Teruteru ran his hand lightly down Kazuichi's hair. Kazuichi shuddered and coughed out a sob. "I'm not goin' anywhere."
He stroked Kazuichi's hair again, and then again, absently combing his fingers through it as Kazuichi lay there shivering, swallowing over and over again. His tongue felt swollen and slow, but his heart beat twice as fast as it should have, and he gasped uselessly for breath every few seconds.
"Help," Kazuichi managed, clinging to him tighter. "I can't – I c-can't – breathe –"
"Neither can I," Teruteru answered, sounding strained. "L-loosen up a bit, will you?"
Kazuichi gulped, but he let go just a fraction. Then Teruteru shifted back, pushing him away, and a bolt of panic shot through Kazuichi's heart. He buried his face in Teruteru's chest and locked him in a vice grip, squeezing as hard as he could.
The next thing he knew, Teruteru pinched him under the arm – hard – and the second Kazuichi yelped and loosened his grip, Teruteru shoved him off.
"I said let go, didn't I?" Teruteru scrambled to his feet. "You're gonna crush me if you keep goin' on like that!"
Kazuichi clutched his arm to his chest, then curled his knees up to his chest and grabbed his head in his hands. His eyes stung with tears, and it was still too hard to breathe. Teruteru stepped back, looking around his trashed room, and groaned.
"Y-you said –" Kazuichi gasped. He grit his teeth and ground the heels of his palms into his eyes. "You said you weren't going anywhere –"
"I'm still here, aren't I?" Teruteru snapped. He took a deep breath and combed his fingers through his hair. "But you were squeezing the gosh dang life outta me. Shoot." He looked around the room again and shook his head. "For Pete's sake, why'd you have to go and –"
"Cause you left me!" Kazuichi's voice cracked. He rapped his fist against his forehead and shut his eyes tight. "You left me stuck here and – a-and – what was I supposed to – I didn't know – y-you didn't – and I can't – and I don't –"
Teruteru spoke somewhere above him. "What? Slow down, for gosh sakes. What're you tryin' to say?"
"I don't –" Kazuichi sucked in a harsh gasp through his teeth. It tore open his throat. "I d-don't know. I don't know. Nothing makes sense. I hate this, I hate myself, I hate everything – just – just leave me alone!"
He sounded like a stupid little kid. Somehow he sprung to his feet, stumbled and fell hard on one knee, and fled to the bathroom.
He slammed the door behind him and fell against it, clenching his teeth so hard they hurt. This was so stupid. Where was he supposed to go? This was Teruteru's bathroom, and he was still naked and smeared with food. It wasn't like he could escape.
A sob broke out of him. He bit his tongue and smacked himself on the head, but that didn't stop another sob from tearing out of his throat. His eyes stung. They ached. They were always achy nowadays, and so were his throat and head, because he couldn't – stop – fucking – crying –
With a strangled howl, he rushed to the shower, yanked open the glass door, and shut himself inside. Collapsed onto the floor. Curled into a ball in the corner, tearing at his hair and gnashing his teeth and bawling like a baby. When he wasn't sobbing, he was gasping for air that somehow never reached his lungs. The shower wall and floor clung cold to his bare skin, and his headache pulsed and his knee throbbed where he'd landed on it, and everything felt twice as real as it should have, and at the same time not real at all.
It was like having a nightmare. God, he wished he was having a nightmare, because then he could wake up –
The bathroom door opened. He heard it turn on its hinges. With a shriek, he buried his face in his arms and grabbed huge fistfuls of his hair.
This was stupid. This was stupid, this was stupid, this was stupid. He was crazy. He was batshit crazy. Well, if Teruteru didn't know before, he sure as hell knew now. So he was here to kick Kazuichi out. For good, this time. And then what could he do? Where could he go?
The shower door swung open. "Kazuichi?" Teruteru said hesitantly. Kazuichi flinched. "What's going on? Are…are you alright?"
"Wh-what does it – freaking look like?" Kazuichi spat, gasping between words. "Get the h-hell away from me! Don't come – any closer – don't touch me –"
Teruteru didn't. Instead, he took a step back, turned, and walked away.
A scream tore up from Kazuichi's core, rattling his skull and sending the hairs up on his own neck. He clutched his head and howled, chest heaving against the cold floor. Tears streamed down his face, down his throat and out his nose, while he clung to his hair and screwed his eyes shut. This was it. It was over. He was dead, he was dying. Teruteru was leaving him; he was going away; and it was all Kazuichi's fault, like it always, always was...
Eventually his screams died to sobs, the sobs died to hiccups, and all he could do was lay there and whimper.
"Um…" Teruteru barely spoke above a whisper. Kazuichi flinched anyway. He cracked open one eye to see Teruteru wrapped in a bathrobe, sitting in front of the shower. Kazuichi couldn't read his expression. He was as shit with faces as he was with everything else. "Are you…are you done?"
Slowly, Kazuichi pushed himself up on one elbow. A tight sick feeling wound its way around his stomach. Now that he wasn't drowning in terror, he had room to feel other shit. Like ashamed. And mortified. And like he was gonna throw up.
He tried to answer, but instead he hiccuped in two loud, distinct syllables and collapsed back against the floor.
"That was a good one," Teruteru whispered, a smile flickering over his face. Like this was normal. Like Kazuichi hadn't just thrown a whole freaking temper tantrum in front of him. Kazuichi whimpered and hiccuped again into his arm.
"Shut…shut up," he croaked. His shoulders jolted. Then he burped. It tasted like everything he'd just licked up off the floor, plus lint, plus bile. Shivering, he sent up a silent fuck you to the universe for making his big dramatic breakdown just as pathetic as the rest of him. He couldn't even languish right.
"So…" Teruteru's voice was low, soft. He hesitated a bit. "I, um, I have a washcloth here, in case you'd like me to help you wash up."
Drawing in a shuddering breath, Kazuichi sat up slowly. Very slowly. He felt as stiff and achy as if he'd spent the whole day assembling a rocket launcher by himself. (But at least that made him feel satisfied. And proud. Now he just felt like shit.) He rested his elbow against his knee and his head against his hand, sniffed hard, and wiped his nose on his wrist.
"I don't –" Another loud, two-syllable hiccup. Kazuichi closed his mouth against a burp and groaned. "I don't need you to. I can…I can wash – hic! – m-myself…"
"I know that," Teruteru interrupted, and Kazuichi flinched. "But...but just because you can do something on your own doesn't mean you have to, darn it. I want to help. Okay?"
For a long moment, the only sound was Kazuichi sniffling. Then, slowly, he nodded and crept forward.
Teruteru breathed a long sigh. He stood up and held out his hand. "Come on. I'm gonna turn on the shower, and I'd hate for you to get caught in the blast."
A few seconds passed before Kazuichi slid his hand into Teruteru's. He barely dared to hold on, in case he held too tight again, but Teruteru grabbed on and helped him to his feet. Kazuichi sat down heavily on the toilet lid, holding his stomach and hiccupping, rocking back and forth a little as Teruteru turned on the shower and tested the water. Then Teruteru slipped off his bathrobe and beckoned Kazuichi to join him, and Kazuichi somehow managed to stumble back into the shower without falling.
Maybe his breakdown had been a nightmare. Maybe he was still dreaming. It still didn't make any sense that Teruteru wanted to touch him so softly, wiping crusted gravy and custard from his face and chest, and calling him gentle names. Sweetheart. Baby. Love. Since when had that been a thing?
If Teruteru wasn't mad at him…maybe he could take a chance. And if this was a dream, it didn't really matter. If it was real…well, he wasn't sure it mattered either way. It was hard to imagine things getting any worse.
"I'm…" Kazuichi sucked in a sharp breath as Teruteru stood up on his knees to work his fingers into Kazuichi's hair. His voice was still gone, and his heart still beat too hard. "I'm s-sorry I wrecked your room…"
He hiccuped and accidentally touched his forehead to Teruteru's shoulder. Teruteru softly clucked his tongue, but he didn't shove him away. "It's…well, it's alright, I guess. I'm sorry I lost my temper. I didn't mean to scare you."
"I wasn't scared," Kazuichi protested, more out of habit than anything else. Teruteru didn't seem to mind that Kazuichi was resting his head on his shoulder, so he leaned into him a little more. "I-I just...you – hic! – you moved really fast, and I…it startled me, that's all."
Teruteru hesitated. Then he let out another long sigh, cupped Kazuichi's face in his hands, and tilted Kazuichi's face up just far enough to meet his eyes. He wasn't smiling at all, but he didn't look mad. He just looked… depressed would probably be going too far, but…
Kazuichi swallowed. "Hey, why – why are you looking at me like that?"
"Hm?" Teruteru shifted his eyes. He leaned forward to plant a kiss on Kazuichi's forehead. "Well, it's just…I'm not really sure what to do, is all. But I'll try not to startle you again."
Kazuichi took a deep breath. He slowly linked his arms around Teruteru's waist, bracing himself for the first sign of anger. "What – hic! " Grimacing, he tried again. "What do you mean, you don't know what to do? About – about me?" His stomach twisted up. "I-I'm sorry I spilled all that food. I'll clean it up. Like, the rest – hic! – the rest of it. And I'll fix the mixer a-and I'll put away all my shit and everything…"
Teruteru hushed him. Kazuichi shut his mouth so fast his teeth clicked. "I forgive you for ruining dinner," he said, his normal smirk twitching at the corner of his mouth. "After all, that worked out for the best, didn't it?"
Kazuichi nodded. Nothing bad was happening, so he risked pressing a little bit closer…Teruteru shifted and he jumped, but it was only to reach above his head for a bottle of shampoo.
"Easy, love," Teruteru murmured, working shampoo into Kazuichi's hair. "I've got you. You have food in your hair, that's all."
"Figures," Kazuichi whispered. He dropped his head against Teruteru's chest. "Look, I'm…I'm sorry I squeezed you like that earlier. And…" He hiccuped and groaned a little. "And I'm s-sorry I yelled, too. And freaked out. And acted like a bitch. And – hic! – and screwed everything up, like…like freaking always."
Before Teruteru could respond, a stream of soapy water snaked down from Kazuichi's hair and directly into his eye. He yelped and jerked back straight into the shower, which only made things worse, and he started hyperventilating again until Teruteru pulled him forward to set things right.
It wasn't until Teruteru was rinsing the last suds out of Kazuichi's hair that he realized that Teruteru hadn't said he didn't screw everything up, or that it was okay, or even that he didn't mind it. He just sat there, humming softly as he washed Kazuichi's hair, that same sad look in his eyes. Kazuichi swallowed hard and slowly withdrew his arms from Teruteru so he could hold his own stomach.
"There you go," Teruteru murmured, leaning back. "You'd better get out and dry up. I've still got to clean myself up a bit, and then I'll be right out with you."
Kazuichi shook his head. "I wanna…" He gulped. This was stupid. This wasn't gonna sound cool, like when Teruteru said it. "I-I wanna – hic! – dammit… I wanna help, too."
Teruteru blinked. "Huh? You – me?"
"Yeah." Kazuichi swallowed back another hiccup. "I wanna wash your hair, s-so we're – we're even, and it's not like I'm completely useless. Right?"
Teruteru smoothed back his wet curls, quickly slipping back into his usual smug expression. "Who says you're useless?" he said, and he kissed Kazuichi lightly on the lips.
Kazuichi melted towards him without even thinking about it, but Teruteru had already pulled back. So Kazuichi shrugged. He felt such a weird mix of blissed out and awful right now, it was hard to think about anything. "So…so, can I?"
Teruteru shifted back. "Um…alright. We'll have to switch places, though. You're sort of hogging the shower."
He winked. Kazuichi growled, but he didn't put much heart into it. "Fine. Well – hic! – well, move, then."
So they swapped places, and Kazuichi tried to wash Teruteru's curly brown hair as gently as Teruteru had washed his. It didn't go nearly as well – Kazuichi's hands were still shaking a little, and he kept getting his fingers snarled in Teruteru's curls and pulling by accident, and Teruteru was very particular about the order in which certain things were done – but every time he slipped up and cursed at himself, Teruteru insisted he was doing fine.
Even weirder, every time he messed up, Teruteru smiled. Or laughed. Which freaked Kazuichi out, but at least it was much better than the fury contorting his face earlier, and so much better than the weird, sad looks he kept giving Kazuichi. Like he felt sorry for him. Those looks made Kazuichi want to punch himself.
Afterwards, he tried to keep Teruteru from turning off the shower by kissing him, but Teruteru placed his hand over Kazuichi's mouth.
"Not until you brush your teeth, sweetheart," he said, shutting off the water and planting a kiss on Kazuichi's forehead. "Your breath smells terrible. No offense."
Kazuichi flushed and ducked his head as he stepped out of the shower and into the frigid bathroom. He'd almost forgotten he could still taste bile. "Well – that's not my fault! I was eating off the floor! What did you expect?!"
Teruteru's only answer was a soft hum and a gentle hand on Kazuichi's back as he emerged from the shower himself. He handed Kazuichi a towel first, before drying himself off and pulling on a bathrobe.
Kazuichi froze. This was it, then. They were leaving. They were gonna have to go back out there, straight into the mess he'd made.
Maybe not yet, he thought desperately. He spent longer brushing his teeth than he ever had before. Then he slowly took out his contacts, and made a show of not being able to find his glasses. (They were beside the sink.) He even tied his towel loosely on purpose, so it slipped off right as Teruteru was about to open the door, in hopes that he could create a…distraction, but Teruteru only tied it snug around his waist again and pulled him into a brief kiss.
"You're shivering," he said, pulling back as Kazuichi tried to kiss harder. "Come on. We need to get you dressed."
Teruteru led him to the door, holding tight to Kazuichi's hand. Kazuichi swallowed hard. And then…
There they were, staring out at the carnage.
Kazuichi shielded his face and tried to duck back into the bathroom. Teruteru stood his ground, and Kazuichi, still gripping his hand, yelped like a dog disagreeing with the end of his leash.
"Over here," he said, tugging Kazuichi towards the pile of shopping bags in the corner. Kazuichi hunched his shoulders. "What's all this? I suppose this is what you and Ibuki were getting up to today?"
A horrible empty pit opened up in Kazuichi's stomach. He cleared his throat and tried to act like he didn't care. "Y-yeah. So what? She – she made me…"
"Well, that was very kind of her," Teruteru murmured. "Any idea why?".
Kazuichi gulped and crouched down to rummage through the bags until he found his new pair of sweatpants and that one blindingly-patterned T-shirt that both he and Ibuki had thought was super cool.
"No." He blinked hard as he bit the price tags off and dropped them on the floor. "I mean – yeah. Sh-she wanted me to build this…super cool thing for this concert, but…probably not anymore. I guess. So I guess I owe her for all of this…"
He took a deep breath and pressed the shirt against his forehead. Teruteru gently rubbed his back. Somehow that made everything worse.
"Well, here's what I'm thinking," Teruteru said. "Let's get dressed. Let's tidy up, and let's get something to eat. And after that…" He squeezed Kazuichi's shoulder, and Kazuichi's heart plummeted. "...we need to talk."
Sure, lazy couch potato cheeseburger and french fry feederism is cool, but hear me out.
Give me feedees who don’t want to be helpless and immobile. Feedees who love their bodies but also love their hobbies. Feedees with interests apart from becoming a sentient couch for someone else to look after. Feedees who cosplay or garden or want to eat a variety of things. Feedees begging their feeders to learn how to make authentic chicken vindaloo, Jamaican style curried goat, maduros and ropa vieja, real pirogi, or llengas tacos. Feedees who work all day and come home and wolf down a table full of food because being productive enhances their appetite like no other. Feedees who absolutely want homemade apple butter and biscuits over egg mcmuffins. Feedees dragging their feeders out to the local U-Pick and eagerly filling their buckets with fresh summer berries and going “youre going to make pie AND cobbler right? and jam? i need that clove and raspberry jam. please.”
And give me feeders who can’t just cook, they can throw down. Feeders who can make - and cure - their own sausages and bacon. Feeders who bake bread without recipes because the way their feedee eats it’s honestly easier to just bake it than keep going to the store every single day. Feedees who take pride in the variety and quality of what they put into their feedee. Feeders getting mad their feedee bought canned whipped cream because fresh is so much better and of course, there’s whipping cream already in the fridge just get the hand mixer out it takes like 20 seconds what are you doing with the Reddi-Whip. Feeders who make artisan ice cream just for their feedees. Feeders grinning at the U-Pick because they’re going to make pie, cobbler, jam, and summer berry wine for when their feedee wants something special after dinner. Feeders who have enough food skill to run a homestead if they really wanted to.
Give me cozy, loving, interesting, high-variety, quality over quantity style feederism that’s less about size and more about nurturing and the long, drawn-out path between “starting” and “ending.” Give me a leisurely walk in the inbetween instead of a sprint, and live your life in the meantime.
Just finished your fic and ITS AMAZING!!! I'm so excited for the next chapter. I don't actually know anything about the game they're from, but I love your fic so much ❤❤❤❤❤
Yay!! Sorry for the late reply...I'm not on tumblr much these days, but it makes me happy to see that people are enjoying the story ❤️
(Adding onto the last one) chapters 1 and 11 are my favorite but I'm still catching up!
Honestly same. Chapter 1 is still probably my favorite out of the whole fic, but Chapter 11 was also SUPER fun to write (and surprisingly much more important to the story than I thought it would be)
It was bad enough that he had to keep his own secret about being gay. It was worse that he had to keep Teruteru's secret about being a country hick instead of a city slicker. And if all that weren't enough, on the mad dash back to school to free Teruteru from the elevator, Ibuki had dropped another bombshell on him.
"Oh, oh, important!" she'd said, screeching to a halt at the school gates. "About the gay club thing…um, make sure you don't tell Teruteru about it, 'kay?"
"Huh?" Kazuichi scratched his head. He glanced nervously up at the third floor. "Why?"
Read on AO3
"Well…" Ibuki rocked back on her heels. "When we made it a thing back in first year, back when it was just Ibuki, Mahiru, Hiyoko, and Mikan, it was just for us girls. But after we let Gundham in, we sorta made a pact that Teruteru couldn't find out about it. Cause, you know. He's a little…yeesh."
"Yeah, but…" Kazuichi frowned. He shifted the plastic bags full of clothes Ibuki had made him buy from one arm to the other. "He's not like that anymore. I mean, not really. I mean – well, what am I supposed to say when he asks me where I'm going, huh?"
Ibuki cocked her head. "What do you mean? Do you have to tell him every time you go somewhere? He's not that controlling, right?!"
"No!" Kazuichi retorted, but a sickly cold sweat prickled on the back of his neck anyway. "No, he's – he's – jeez, let's just go get him out of the elevator already. He's probably really pissed off."
They dashed to Teruteru's room, where Kazuichi grabbed the handle to the bedside drawer and pulled it fully out of the table by accident. The false diary was in the back, just like Teruteru had said, and there was his key ring, sitting right on top of a few loose scraps of paper covered in what looked like phone numbers. He grabbed his keys and dropped them a second later as something small fell from his hand and clinked against the floor.
"C'mon, what are you waiting for?" Ibuki said, jumping from foot to foot beside the door. "Teruteru and Hajime and Nagito have been stuck for hours and hours!"
Kazuichi dropped to a squat and saw a silver ring with a tiny inset ruby lying underneath the bed. He grabbed it and dropped it back in the box, shooting a puzzled glance over his shoulder as Ibuki rushed him out.
The fuck did any of that mean?
At least he'd been right about one thing. Teruteru was pissed off. From the suspicious glares he kept sending Ibuki and Kazuichi while Nagito rambled his thanks, Kazuichi could only guess that Teruteru thought he'd spilled the beans already about his past. And, while it wasn't an unreasonable fear, it hurt anyway.
To make matters worse, Hajime pulled Kazuichi aside just as Teruteru started asking casually pointed questions to Ibuki.
"Thanks for getting us out of there," he said, glancing over his shoulder as Nagito barged in on Teruteru and Ibuki's conversation. "Um, I'm glad you're okay, too. You…are okay, right?"
That last question was followed with a very direct glance at Teruteru. Kazuichi scowled at him and crossed his arms tight over his chest.
"I'm fine," he snapped, pushing past him. "Not like you care."
"What?" Hajime spluttered. "What does that mean? I just asked a question."
Kazuichi wanted to ignore him, but it was like a supernatural force grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around. He jerked his beanie down and grit his teeth. "For someone who Nagito thinks is so smart, you really don't have a clue, do you? I freaking told you already. You know, back when you made fun of me for getting fat?"
"What?" Hajime said again. He shook his head and smiled, but it looked a little forced. "Dude, you know I wasn't making fun of you. You just seem like something's wrong lately, that's all."
"Like something's wrong?" Kazuichi's voice cracked. "What the hell do you think is wrong? It's not like the one guy who – who pretended to be my only friend for a whole year started laughing at me behind my back or anything!"
"Wh – laughing at you?" Hajime stepped back. "I'm not laughing at anybody. How many times do I have to tell you that?"
"Oh yeah?" Kazuichi jabbed a finger at his face. "You and Nagito seemed to think it was pretty funny!"
Hajime glanced over his shoulder. Nagito's creepy blank expression changed to a small smile, which was somehow even worse.
"Ah – Hajime told me about that," Nagito said, holding up one hand. The other held tight to a crutch. Kazuichi didn't even want to know how that had happened. "How you spied on us at the end-of-term party and overheard Hajime telling me about the trouble you were causing him?"
"Trouble?!" Kazuichi yelped.
"Huh? Spying on Hajime?" Ibuki gasped at the same time. She had her hands up to her mouth, like she was watching a prime-time drama, while Teruteru…
Teruteru looked angry. No, annoyed. Like he was bored. Like Kazuichi was wasting his time by shouting at a guy who'd never given a shit about him in the first place.
Kazuichi took a step back. "Well – you – you two –" He grit his teeth. "Whatever. I don't care. I have Teruteru now, anyway, so – ack!"
He clapped his hand over his mouth. Teruteru's eyes widened. He raised one eyebrow and cocked his head, and Kazuichi couldn't tell if he was mad, confused, or just pissed off that Kazuichi hadn't shut the fuck up already.
"T-teruteru and – and Ibuki," Kazuichi added, jerking his beanie down. "Teruteru and Ibuki are my new – my new –" He gulped. "Friends. S-so – so there! Who needs you, anyway? It's not like you ever gave a shit about me in the first place."
Hajime backed up to stand next to Nagito. They traded glances. What, were they such good friends that they could communicate telepathically now? It made Kazuichi feel sick to his stomach.
"Um…okay," Hajime said, throwing a distrustful look at Teruteru again. "Well, thanks for getting us out of there –"
"Okay?!" Kazuichi's voice cracked. He put one hand to his head. "You really don't have anything to say to that? After we spent like all of last year hanging out, when you started wandering around our campus for some reason and – and nobody else would even talk to you, and – but then, as soon as this guy looks your way –"
Two light spots of pink dusted Hajime's cheeks. He shook his head. "N-no…no, that's wrong. Um, I actually do appreciate that you made friends with me last year. I was kinda in a weird spot then. But –"
"But then you fell in love with Nagito," Kazuichi snapped. It was supposed to be a stupid insult, but Hajime blushed harder and a horrific shade of delight crossed Nagito's face. Kazuichi wished he would drop dead. "And then you didn't need me anymore. I get it, I get it! Just – seriously, after everything you said – I mean, I didn't think –"
"Do you ever?" Nagito murmured under his breath. Tears of frustration sprang into Kazuichi's eyes.
"Shut up!" He clenched his teeth against the lump building in his throat. Shit. He was done with this bullshit; he couldn't do this anymore. "Whatever. I should have known you were gonna betray me. Everyone does. Just – I-I wish you woulda told me you freaking hated my guts, instead of putting up with me a-and then laughing about it behind my back."
Hajime's eyebrows pinched together. He glanced at Nagito again, and all at once hot tears sprung into Kazuichi's eyes. "What? Listen, I don't – how?"
"How what?" Kazuichi barked.
Hajime sputtered, apparently lost for words. Nagito smiled and lifted his finger, like he thought he was a goddamn homeroom teacher or something.
"I think what Hajime might be trying to say is that it can be really hard to get through to you, Kazuichi." Nagito shifted his position on the crutch. "Even if he'd wanted to tell you that he hated your guts, would you really have listened? From what he told me, it sounds like he tried to excuse himself politely several times, and you insisted on following him around anyway. At times, it almost sounded like you were holding him hostage…and I guess you know what that feels like now."
"But – what – hostage?!" Kazuichi's face flamed. He stared at Teruteru, whose annoyed expression quickly turned into a scowl.
"How many times do I have to tell you that I wasn't holding anyone hostage?" Teruteru snapped, shaking his fist.
Nagito sighed. "Jeez…this whole conversation is full of despair. Thank you for getting us out of the elevator, but isn't it time for you to go now? I know I don't have any right to complain, but I'm actually kind of tired."
Hajime snapped his attention back to Nagito. "Yeah. You're right. You really should be lying down…"
Nagito laughed quietly. "I wish you wouldn't worry about garbage like me, Hajime. It was really only thanks to my luck that I hurt my foot today, so you'd spend so much time with me…and that you didn't die trapped in that elevator! Ah, so much good luck in one day…I don't think even this despairful conversation is enough to counterbalance it. Just thinking about all the bad luck that must be waiting for me makes me shiver with anticipation!"
"That's still not a word," Hajime grumbled, but he was still bright red as he followed Nagito down the hallway as he limped towards his dorm room. Kazuichi spluttered several half-baked insults as they left, but no one paid him any attention.
Something touched his arm. He shrieked and jumped away, only to see Teruteru standing a few feet back, rolling his eyes.
"Come on," he said, smoothing his hair back. "It's been a hell of a day. Carry this, will you? My arms are sore, and not from doing anything I'd like."
Kazuichi took the picnic basket, only half-registering what was going on. He kept swallowing hard and blinking back tears. Not that it mattered. Teruteru and Ibuki already knew what a pathetic, weepy mess he was.
"I didn't hold him hostage," he whispered. His voice managed to break anyway. "I just – I thought – whatever. So freaking stupid…"
If Teruteru and Ibuki said anything to him, he didn't hear it. He pushed ahead and walked to Teruteru's room as fast as he could, ducking his head as he passed Hajime and Nagito so he didn't have to look at their dumb faces.
He plunked the basket down on Teruteru's table, fell into the chair next to it, and buried his face in his arms. He clenched his fists and swallowed over and over, but of course hot tears started trickling down his cheeks anyway. And of course he started sniffling, and then he was shivering all over while he bit back stupid, babyish sobs. And his stomach hurt. And his migraine was coming back.
A scream split the air. Kazuichi jumped three feet, screaming even louder, and as his hands flew to his ears, his elbow caught the side of the basket and it tipped over the edge of the table, landing on the floor with a deafening crash .
Teruteru stood in the doorway, his hands fisted in his hair. A string of probably-swear-words flew out of his mouth as he stared at the greasy bits and pieces of stand mixer that lay strewn across the floor.
"What'n God's name didja do –" Everything else that Teruteru yelled was in such a thick accent that Kazuichi couldn't understand him. All he could do was clutch his beanie to his head and stand there, frozen.
Ibuki poked her head into the doorway. She put her hand to her mouth. "Oh, riiiiiight," she breathed. "Ibuki forgot about that."
"The day I have had! " Teruteru cried, whirling to face Kazuichi. He gestured wildly at the basket on the floor. "I swear to Jesus, I can't leave you alone for two dadgum seconds without you turnin' everythin' around you into a godforsaken pigsty!"
Kazuichi stepped back and bumped into the bed, scowling as he scrubbed unshed tears from his eyes. "Oh yeah? Well – well – well, maybe you shouldn't have stolen my freaking keys then, huh!"
Ibuki gasped, her hands flying to her mouth again. "What? Stolen? I thought Kazuichi said he lost them!"
"No, this bitch freaking stole them!" Kazuichi snapped before Teruteru could defend himself. His face burned, his eyes hurt, and his nose kept filling up with snot faster than he could sniff it back and swallow it. Pathetic. No wonder Hajime didn't want to be around him. "You hid them in that stupid fake journal with that other weird shit in it that you told me not to touch – that ring, and those pages full of phone numbers, and – who are you calling, anyway?!"
Teruteru yanked off his chef's hat and threw it on the ground. He was also bright red, redder than Kazuichi had ever seen him. "That's enough! I've had about enough of you riflin' through my things, sticking your greasy nose where it don't belong an' then having the audacity to put me on trial! I'm not surprised Hajime got sick of you if this is how you treated him!"
"You –" Kazuichi's voice pitched up and died like someone had twisted a valve shut. He shook his head so hard it spun, and he flailed his fists in the air. "D-don't you dare bring Hajime into this! He – I – we – I-I didn't even know he hated me! It's not like he told me!"
"Oh, he didn't, huh?" Teruteru threw his hands in the air. "I bet he didn't. Knowing you, he probably said it over and over and you refused to hear anything you didn't wanna hear. Jesus!"
Kazuichi jerked his beanie over his eyes. He scrubbed his runny nose on his sleeve and ground his teeth together so hard he felt it through this skull. "Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up shut up!"
Ibuki was still lingering in the doorway, dancing back and forth like she wasn't sure whether or not she should come all the way in. "Whoa, whoa! Guys, this is getting kinda scary…m-maybe you should calm down a little?"
"I am calm!" Teruteru and Kazuichi yelled at the same time.
"It's his fault for stealing my keys!" Kazuichi cried, pointing at Teruteru.
Teruteru whirled on him and pointed right back. "All I was tryna do was keep his goddamn trap shut before he goes prancin' about vomitin' secrets all over the school."
"I'm not gonna do that!" Kazuichi shrieked, his voice hoarse. "I can keep secrets just fine! I'm keeping secrets that you'll never know about, so – so fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!"
"Why, you little –"
The next part happened so fast that Kazuichi barely had time to make sense of it. Teruteru rushed towards him, and Kazuichi's body seized up on its own, dropping him to the floor and scrambling back until he hit the bedpost, and then his hands flew up to shield his face as he curled into a ball and screamed.
"Stop! Stop!" Ibuki's voice cried in the background. "Don't hit him!"
Kazuichi jerked into an even tighter ball, his knee slamming against his jaw, but seconds passed and nothing happened. His scream died into a hoarse whimper as he slowly cracked one eye open.
Teruteru stood next to the table, just next to where the picnic basket lay overturned on the floor. He stared at Kazuichi, eyes wide, before turning his head to look at Ibuki.
"I-I wasn't…I was only going to pick up the basket, before – before he managed to spill everything," Teruteru said in a high voice that trembled a little. "You didn't think I was actually going to…"
Ibuki didn't answer. She was all the way inside the room now, staring back and forth between Teruteru and Kazuichi. When nobody said anything, she rushed over to Kazuichi's side.
"Hey, are you okay?" She dropped to her knees beside him. Kazuichi yelped and scrambled away, heart thundering so hard he could barely breathe.
"I'm fine," he snapped. His voice was pretty much gone, and his throat felt like it was bleeding. His breath came in short gasps. Fuck, he was gonna panic, and Ibuki was gonna think he was even more pathetic and annoying than she already did. "I'm f-fine. Don't touch me!"
Teruteru placed the basket on the table and stepped away from the mess on the floor. "Honestly, Ibuki," he said, smoothing his hair back. "I know none of you like me, but I'm clearly not the sort of guy who hits his partner, right?"
"I dunno what you are," Ibuki said, looking up from where she squatted on the floor. "All I know is you were both screaming really loud and then you ran towards Kazuichi all super mad and then he fell down like you were gonna hit him."
"But I didn't –" Teruteru gulped. "I never – surely no one thinks I'm that bad…"
Ibuki shuffled towards Kazuichi again. He jerked away, forcing himself to breathe as slowly as he could. He squeezed his eyes shut. It was getting too hard to breathe; he was gonna start panicking soon if someone didn't stop him. He opened his eyes a little and saw the mess of food on the floor: strips of steak and tender slices of chicken mingling with fruit tart oozing out of a broken dish, as some kind of bisque spread seeped slowly into the carpet…
Shit. That was it. That would fix this.
"Go away," he choked.
Ibuki looked up at Teruteru. When she spoke, there was a terrifying edge to her voice. "Well? You heard him."
Kazuichi sucked in a sharp breath. "Not him ," he growled, gripping his beanie tight. "You."
"Wh – me?" Ibuki's offended cry pierced his skull. "Huh? Leave Kazuichi like this! No way!"
Kazuichi opened his eyes just wide enough to glare at her through his tears. "Yes way! Why does everybody hate me for not being able to t-take a hint when you're way worse? Nobody asked you to barge in here! Why are you even still following me? Wasn't dragging me all over the city enough for you?"
"But –"
"I don't want you here!" Kazuichi exploded. Tears spilled over and ran down his face. "Get out!"
Ibuki's mouth opened and shut. For a second, she almost looked like she was going to cry.
Then a storm cloud overtook her face as she jumped up. "Seriously? After I bought you food and clothes and everything? You're super ungrateful! No wonder you don't have any friends!"
She turned on her heel and fled to the door, slamming it shut behind her.
—
The silence following Ibuki's departure was deafening.
Kazuichi sat curled up against the bed, his hat pulled down over his eyes. When he tilted his head up to look at Teruteru, tears and snot poured down his face.
"Kiss me," he croaked.
Teruteru started back. He shook his head. "What – kiss you? After all that? Look at what you've done to my room!"
He gestured to the food on the floor, the wrecked stand mixer, the drawer sitting on top of his bed, and the plastic bags full of clothes (for some reason) piled in the corner. He was lucky he hadn't had a heart attack. He still felt like screaming.
Kazuichi whimpered and nodded. "I know," he whispered. "I'll – I'll clean it up. I promise. But I'm panicking and I n-need you to kiss me so I – so I can calm down…"
"Are you serious?" Teruteru grabbed a fistful of his own hair. "Look at you! You're disgusting! You really think I wanna –"
Kazuichi moaned and shook his head. He slumped onto the floor, then got up on his hands and knees and crawled over to the pile of steak, chicken, shrimp, and lobster bisque, oozing together in a horrid amalgamation with the custard of a broken fruit tart. Before Teruteru could say a word, Kazuichi stuck his hand into the slop and shoved a whole handful of it into his mouth.
"What the hell?" Teruteru's voice came out so high he nearly rivaled Kazuichi's. "What're you doing? Stop that!"
Kazuichi only shoveled food into his mouth faster. He gulped, choked, heaved, and swallowed back whatever he'd spit up into his mouth. Teruteru felt nauseous. "I'm cleaning up," Kazuichi managed, his voice spent. "You told me to."
"Not by eating it off the floor, you donkey!" Teruteru rushed forward, stopping in his tracks when Kazuichi flinched away. He gestured helplessly. "Who knows what's on that floor, especially now that you've taken over the place. Spit that out! What do you think you are, a dog?"
With an odd keening noise, Kazuichi nodded. "Y-yeah. Yeah. I'm a fucking useless dog…"
Maybe it was because he'd started his afternoon by finding out Kazuichi had run off with Ibuki, or maybe it was because he'd spent far too long trapped in an elevator with Nagito Komaeda, or maybe it was because he'd walked back into his room to find a very important piece of equipment absolutely trashed, but Teruteru found it hard to think clearly. He was breathing hard, his heart pounding at double speed, his face flushed and his chest heaving.
So maybe, given the circumstances, he could be forgiven for being a little slow on the uptake.
"Hold on a minute." He stepped forward, slowly this time, and Kazuichi whimpered. "You're getting off on this, aren't you?"
Kazuichi gulped. Whatever was in his mouth traveled down his throat in a huge lump. He nodded again, choking on a sob, and shoved a dripping clump of steak-infused fruit tart into his mouth.
"I'm a piece of shit," he managed with his mouth full, gravy and custard dripping down his chin. "I know I am…s-so tell me already."
Teruteru wasn't sure exactly what to do. Maybe if he'd had even a tiny bit less of an awful day, or maybe if he wasn't already hot and panting from the ordeal with the elevator and his screaming match with Kazuichi, or maybe if Kazuichi hadn't managed to look so miserable and eager at the same time (face flushed, pupils dilated, a suspicious bulge growing at his crotch), he would have called a time out until he had just a moment to catch his bearings.
Or maybe not. After all, Kazuichi was on his hands and knees before him, begging to be fucked. And Teruteru wasn't one to turn down an open invitation.
"You're the most revolting person I've ever known," he said, unbuttoning his shirt. Kazuichi's eyes widened, then squeezed shut as he moaned around his mouthful of ruined food. "This is an assault on food. On everything I stand for. What the hell am I doing with you?"
It was an honest question, and given the way Kazuichi tensed up and groaned, it hurt him in all the right ways. Teruteru folded his shirt over the back of the chair and stepped close to Kazuichi, looking down on him.
"If you're going to act like a pig, at least let me make sure you're not going to kill yourself on a broken dish," he said, curling his lip as he bent to pick up several broken ceramic pieces. "Stop shoveling spoiled food into your mouth for two seconds, will you? For goodness' sake."
Kazuichi didn't stop. A flash of rage shot through Teruteru, and he grabbed him by the hair and forced him down onto his elbows.
"I said, give it a rest, won't you?" He stepped on Kazuichi's shoulder, pinning him to the floor, and Kazuichi's moans got faster and louder. "You fancy yourself an animal and then don't do as you're told? Some pig you are. All you do is eat and eat, and you're still a scrawny twig of a thing." He leaned his whole weight on Kazuichi, gripping his hair as hard as he could, and shoved his face into the mess on the floor. "You're not even fit to be sent to the slaughterhouse. You're a complete waste of space, you know that?"
Kazuichi jerked his head up, hissed, and choked. Teruteru's breath caught in his throat. He let go. Had he gone too far? Was Ibuki right? Was he really as twisted as everyone said, even after all this time?
"D-don't stop," Kazuichi rasped. He heaved a sob and grasped for a slippery piece of chicken. Teruteru hesitated for just a moment, then stepped on his wrist. Kazuichi moaned again.
"I don't even know why I'm letting you do this," he said, which was once again a painfully honest statement. "I spend all day cooking for you, and all you do is make a mess of things. I guess it serves you right, licking the carpet clean, but why'd you have to be such a disaster in the first place, dammit? It really gets my goat!"
Kazuichi let out a strangled groan. He gulped and grit his teeth. "Fuck. Fuck, Teruteru, I'm – I'm –"
"Don't say you're close," Teruteru snapped. He tore off Kazuichi's beanie and threw it across the room, fisting his fingers in Kazuichi's hair when he cried out. "I swear, I ain't never been –"
Heat rose into his already flaming cheeks. He cleared his throat, but Kazuichi shook his head.
"Don't change it," he gasped. "I like – I like it when you talk like that…"
Teruteru huffed out a humorless laugh. "Like what?"
"Like…y-your real voice, the one f-from the country…"
Teruteru clicked his tongue. Another wave of heat rose into his cheeks, along with something dangerously close to tears in the corners of his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm not using that hick accent during sex. It's a complete turn off."
Kazuichi whimpered, and Teruteru shoved his face down so he couldn't see the decidedly un-sexy clash of anger, exhaustion, and honest confusion running rampant over Teruteru's face.
"You said you wanted to clean the floor, so clean it," he said, but his voice had a raw edge to it that he didn't like at all. "Start licking, sweetheart. I'm gonna strip you naked while you do. Dirty pigs like you don't get to wear clothes."
With another strangled moan, Kazuichi pressed his tongue to the floor and licked. Teruteru shivered, disgust raising the hair on his neck at the same time his dick throbbed against his fly. He dropped to a squat to unzip Kazuichi's jumpsuit far enough so he could force him to work one arm out, then the other. Kazuichi's hands were a mess and stained everything on their way out. It was enough to make Teruteru want to scream with frustration at the same time he wanted to fuck Kazuichi so hard he'd see stars for the rest of his life.
As many hookups as he'd been through, as many ill-advised ventures into city clubs as he'd had, back when he lied about his name and his age and played up his non-existent experience until he was in well over his head, he'd never fucked anyone as docile as Kazuichi before. Kazuichi let Teruteru move him like he was made of dough; barely moving aside from his ragged, heaving breaths; whimpering, sobbing, and gulping his only response to anything Teruteru said. By the time he'd stripped Kazuichi down to his underwear (a strangely new-looking blue pair of boxer briefs he'd never seen before), it was starting to make him feel uneasy.
"Hey," he panted, leaning forward to grab Kazuichi's hair again. (He refused to touch any of the food spilled all over the floor. That was Kazuichi's problem.) "Are you alright?"
A low groan was his only answer. He frowned and inched forward, tilting Kazuichi's head to the side until he could see his face.
"Answer me," he said. Kazuichi's eyes were glazed, unfocused. His face was covered in food, and a line of drool ran from his chin all the way down to the carpet. Teruteru resisted the urge to smack him. "Are you okay?"
Kazuichi coughed. He shook his head, just the tiniest motion in each direction. "Don't…" A sharp breath. "Don't ask…me that…y-you're ruining…"
A rough sob. Teruteru clicked his tongue and glared at him. "What, you think I'm just gonna fuck you like you're some kinda doll? I swear, we need to think of an actual safeword one of these days."
Kazuichi swallowed hard. He slowly reached out to drag a clump of strawberries soaked in honey glaze and gravy towards his mouth. "Fuckin…g-green light or…whatever…don't stop. Don't stop. You can't. You can't, not – not when I'm l-like this…"
"I'll do whatever I please, thank you," Teruteru said as his heartbeat picked up speed. He tightened his grip on Kazuichi's hair and pulled his face back away from the floor. Kazuichi's face crumpled up as he choked on a low, desolate cry.
"Just don't…just don't leave me," he moaned, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth. His chest heaved; he retched and swallowed back whatever it was again. "Just don't leave, like everyone else…y-you can do whatever you want to me, just – just don't go away…"
Teruteru's heart constricted. He looked around at the state of his room, then back to Kazuichi, stretched out underneath him, flushed, covered in food from his chest to his forehead, beads of sweat trickling down his back and down to a waist that was a good deal softer than it had been a month ago…a waist with fresh red stretch marks creeping up from the ass, marks that Teruteru traced with his fingers every time he laid Kazuichi out to fuck him. Marks that Teruteru had made.
"What am I s'posed to do with you?" he whispered, leaning down to look Kazuichi in the eye. Kazuichi squeezed his eyes shut and stuffed food into his mouth to stop up another sob. "Look at you, food all over that pretty face of yours. I woulda kissed you a thousand times by now if you hadn't gone and rubbed your mouth all over the damn floor. God knows I love you, Kazuichi, but how am I s'posed to stick around if you keep on making a mess of everything and rubbing salt in everybody's wounds?"
Kazuichi swallowed a huge mouthful of custard and God knew what else. Tears clung to his eyelashes…very pretty eyelashes, Teruteru suddenly noticed. They were short and straight, not the kind people usually went on about, but beautiful all the same.
"What?" Kazuichi croaked.
Teruteru shook his head. He was so pent-up he felt sick. "Um – nothing. Forget it. I – I got silly all of a sudden." He cleared his throat and pushed Kazuichi's head down again. "God, you're a piece of work. Why did you stop cleaning the floor? I don't remember letting you off. And speaking of that…"
He pushed himself up to standing, pinning Kazuichi against the floor in the process. Kazuichi groaned, then started slurping up the mess on the carpet with renewed vigor. Teruteru took a deep, shaky breath.
"You stay right there," he commanded. "Don't panic, don't cry, don't do nothin' but lick that damn floor until it's good as new. Stick your tongue into it. I don't wanna see a single crumb stuck in that carpet by the end of tonight. I'll be right back."
He turned and half-ran into the bathroom, his erection pressed so tight against his pants it hurt. The pain only pulled the present into sharper focus, and he found what he was looking for immediately.
When he returned, Kazuichi had propped himself up on one elbow, moaning against the floor as he jerked off with his free hand. He hadn't even taken his underwear off properly; his ass hung halfway out. Teruteru approached him from behind and knelt down to slap his hand away.
"Did I tell you you could touch yourself?" he asked as Kazuichi whimpered. "For shame. You're completely out of control, aren't you?"
Kazuichi sucked in a sharp breath as Teruteru pulled his underwear down to his knees, wincing and whimpering as Teruteru slapped his hand away from his cock a second time. "Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I c-can't…I have to…please, please help me, please help me already…"
"You're not making any sense." Teruteru held up a long, curved vibrator and coated it with lube. "So you want me to order you around, but you can't even follow basic commands? You're the worst dog I've ever heard of. You deserve to be taught a hard lesson or two."
Kazuichi twitched. It seemed like he was putting all his energy into keeping his hand away from his dick. "Yeah – yes, oh god, yes, t-teach me – hit me, make it hurt – j-just don't leave me like this!"
Teruteru put one hand on Kazuichi's bare ass. He casually ran his thumb over his asshole, rubbing it in a small, tight circle, and Kazuichi cried out. His hand shot to his dick again, and Teruteru smacked it away hard.
"Well, it's only fair I give you a fighting chance," he mused, wincing as his own dick throbbed against his fly. "Ah! Goodness, I need somewhere to put this…"
"Put what?" Kazuichi croaked, and Teruteru smirked.
"How about this," he said. "You wait to come until I tell you when…and if you can manage that, I'll come inside that filthy mouth of yours. Hm?"
For once, Kazuichi seemed lost for words. He nodded, croaking out moans and gasps the longer Teruteru fingered him.
"Hurry," he managed, followed by a shuddering groan as Teruteru slid first one finger inside him, then another. "Oh, g-god, hurry –"
"I'll take as long as I like, and you'll thank me for it," Teruteru said, pushing his fingers in and out. Kazuichi choked on a sob. "Now, get ready. Let's see how good a listener you really are."
He pressed the tip of the vibrator to Kazuichi's asshole, then slowly, slowly, pushed it in. Kazuichi screamed and dropped his face into his arms, burying his fingers in his hair and holding on for dear life. Teruteru worked the vibrator farther in, all the way until the prong at the end met the underside of Kazuichi's balls.
Finally, he was able to let go so he could push his own pants and underwear down to his knees and start stroking his own erect cock. His moans and harsh breaths agitated Kazuichi even more, who at this point wasn't able to do much except sob and plead for release.
"Now," Teruteru breathed, squeezing Kazuichi's ass to steady himself. He traced his thumb along a prominent red stretch mark. "Don't come until I say when."
With the press of a button, the vibrator came to life, and Kazuichi screamed. Teruteru turned it off instantly, stroking himself faster and harder as Kazuichi burst into noisy tears, wailing like a toddler.
"Calm down," Teruteru ordered, and when Kazuichi sucked down a loud gulp and dampened his sobs to high-pitched whimpers, Teruteru couldn't hold back a loud moan of his own. "Th-that was only the beginning. You're depressingly easy, you know."
"I know," Kazuichi rasped. His shoulders jerked with a hiccupy sob. "I know, I know."
"Again," Teruteru breathed, and he turned on the vibrator a second time.
Watching Kazuichi squirm, scream, and thrash about all in a futile effort not to come was payback and a half for everything Teruteru had endured up til now. He played with the vibrator, moving it back and forth, turning it off every time it seemed like Kazuichi was on the brink, jerking himself off and laughing as Kazuichi groveled on the floor.
It couldn't have been more than a minute or two before he broke the limits of Kazuichi's self-control. He switched on the vibrator, then stopped it, and squeezed the life out of Kazuichi's love handles while rutting against his thigh. All at once, Kazuichi spasmed and came all over the floor with an ear-splitting howl.
"Really?" Teruteru leaned forward and grabbed him by the hair. Kazuichi yelped and started shaking hard. "It wasn't even turned on. You're ridiculously bad at this."
A long, guttural moan was his only response. Pupils blown wide, Teruteru drew the vibrator out of Kazuichi's ass, coated his own dick with lube, and thrust in, punctuating his moans and Kazuichi's sobs with as many insults as he could think of.
"You're a goddamn nuisance," he gasped. "No one in their right mind would hang around you. Look at what you've done to my room! Isn't it enough for you to ruin your own life? Or are you that much of a dumpster fire, that you can't even h-help destroying everything around you?"
Kazuichi gasped for breath and shook his head. "No," he groaned in a rough voice that barely sounded like his own. "No, no, no, no, no…"
Teruteru didn't even have time to question whether that was a real no or not. He was on the very edge of climax, heat rising to a boiling point, and he pulled out at the very last second, throwing himself forward and yanking Kazuichi's head up to meet his glassy, unfocused eyes.
"Y-you made this mess," Teruteru choked out, stroking his own dick as hard as he could. "An' you're gonna fix it."
He came, splattering the floor right below Kazuichi's head, and shoved his face into the creamy white splatter.
"Lick it up, pup," Teruteru rasped, now shaking almost as hard as Kazuichi. "Lick it up."
Feat: More elevator drama, crepes, Best Friend Material (help I'm posting this at 9pm and I'm a tired tired baby who needs to sleep)
Inside the crepe shop, Ibuki grinned at Kazuichi like she hadn't suggested obliterating his entire world. He cowered back into his plastic pink-and-white seat.
"You wanna tell Miss Sonia I'm gay?!"
Read on AO3
Several customers looked over. Kazuichi gulped, took a huge bite of his double-chocolate cheesecake crepe, and sank as far over the table as he could manage.
Ibuki nodded so hard it looked like she was headbanging. "Yeah! Oh, oh, and not just her! There's this whole little club we have going on. It's got me, obviously, and Sonia, and Gundham–"
Kazuichi pulled his hat low over his eyes. He was sweating bullets. "Hold it, hold it, hold it. You wanna tell freaking Gundham Tanaka that I'm –" He gulped and glanced around the shop. "That I'm – that? "
"Yup!" Ibuki beamed. Kazuichi stared at her, mouth slightly open.
"What – why – no!" He shook his head. "What in the actual frick makes you think that's a good idea? Miss – I mean, S-Sonia hates me, and Gundham really hates me, and – I mean, Sonia maybe has a point, but, um, but Gundham?!"
He glared at Ibuki with all the intensity he could muster. It wasn't much. His head still hurt and he was still painfully aware that he was sitting commando in some cutesy crepe-shop with one of the coolest (and weirdest and scariest) girls in school, and the strangers giving him the side-eye had definitely thought he and Ibuki were on some kind of date, and they'd definitely been thinking that she was too good for him because he was really obviously a mentally unstable good-for-nothing loser, and then he'd blurted out that he was gay and they'd probably been like "Oh, that makes so much sense, look at him, he's been crying," and now they were probably gonna leave and tell their friends and they'd all stand outside the shop laughing –
"Hello? Earth to Kazuichi!" Ibuki waved her hand in front of his face. Kazuichi jumped. "What's going on in there?"
She tapped him on the head and he pulled back with a squawk. "Nothing!" he snapped, folding in on himself. He sniffed and glared again to counteract the pathetic-ness. "I-I just…Gundham? Really? That's what you've been trying to ask me all this time?"
Ibuki blew out a short breath. "Yeah, like I said. I thought of just texting you, but then I was like, Kazuichi's been really freaking out lately, so it'd probably be better to ask in person, right? Only then you never let me get to you in person!"
"Well – well, yeah, cause I –" Kazuichi ducked his head. He went back to his crepes. "I-I don't know. Everything's screwed up, I don't know what's going on anymore, and…and of course I don't want you to tell Gundham or Sonia or anyone!"
Ibuki huffed. "No, listen. It's a really good idea! Cause –"
"How's it a good idea?" Kazuichi interrupted, throwing up his hands. "They're just gonna laugh at me!"
"Shush!" Ibuki stuck her finger in his face. "Listen for once! We're not gonna laugh at you, promise. And you know why? Cause Ibuki's inviting you to Hope's Peak's very own Gays Stick Together Club!"
A beat passed. Ibuki sat there, winking with her tongue sticking out as she threw up the peace sign, like she was posing for her photo to be taken. Kazuichi didn't know why, but he slowly turned very, very red.
"There's a…" His voice broke and he cleared his throat. "Wait, you're inviting me to – to – what?"
"Hope's Peak's very own Gays Stick Together Club," Ibuki said, as if that statement alone wasn't drawing even more stares. "I said you were in the club, remember? Back when I ran into you coming out of Teruteru's room with your clothes all torn up like –"
Kazuichi coughed and hunched over his crepe, shielding his face. "Yeah! Yeah, I remember. But I thought you meant – there's a real club?"
Ibuki nodded. "I wanted to invite you right away, but then I kinda freaked out cause your clothes were all like…" She widened her eyes suggestively. Kazuichi stuffed crepe in his face and wished he was dead. "And then Kazuichi wouldn't let Ibuki talk to him for days and days."
"But –" Kazuichi gulped. He rubbed his forehead. He was starting to feel really stupid, asking so many questions, but either Ibuki wasn't making any sense or he'd totally lost it. "But wait, are you – are you saying Sonia's gay? If she's in the club she has to be, right? But she's not, she – she's dating freaking Gundham, right? Hold on, are you saying that Gundham is gay too?!"
"Hey!" Ibuki jumped up and slammed her hands down on the table. Kazuichi shrieked and leaned backwards so fast that he overbalanced his chair and fell backwards, smacking his head against the tile floor. "Bi erasure!" Ibuki shouted from above him as Kazuichi saw stars. "Don't do it!"
Kazuichi scrambled to sit up, cursing and clutching his head, only to be met with the legs of a man in a pink apron who was talking to Ibuki very seriously.
"Anyway," said Ibuki as they sat on a bench a few blocks away, "what do you say? You in?"
Kazuichi licked his fingers and scraped the final crumbs out of the paper napkin he'd folded the rest of his crepes inside. Ibuki had folded her strawberry pineapple crepes into a pretty little parcel, somehow. He swallowed hard.
"I mean…" He glanced nervously at Ibuki. "The thing is, everyone you said is in this club – um, Mahiru, Hiyoko…" He shuddered. "S-sonia and Gundham, obviously…they all hate me. So. That wouldn't go very well. They'd probably just, like, kick me out as soon as I walked in there."
"Byakuya doesn't hate anybody," Ibuki said, unwrapping her crepes far enough to take a bite. "And Akane thinks you're pretty cool."
"Yeah but – what?!" It was like every time he finally had enough time to cool off, Ibuki said something that made him turn bright red again. "Akane thinks I'm – what? Why? Sh-she only cares about working out and stuff!"
"Yeah, but you eat a whole lot now," Ibuki said. "She's kinda impressed, I think. Also also, Byakuya said something like that too! He was all like…" She steeled her face and lowered her chin. "'At the very least, it is heartening to see that Kazuichi has finally given up on eating bird food like the rest of you skinny people.' So see? Not everyone hates you!"
Kazuichi sunk into the neck of his jumpsuit. He balled up his paper napkin and started shredding the corner of it, just so he didn't have to look at her. "That's…great," he croaked.
Ibuki nodded enthusiastically as she took another bite of her crepe. "So you'll join, right?"
"I mean –" Kazuichi gulped. "I mean, maybe…"
"'Cause we're having a Halloween party really soon," Ibuki said, "and I thought it'd be rude to pay you to build my stage costume for a party that you weren't even invited to, even if my concert is totally for everyone. But it's also for the party after, so –"
Kazuichi sat up straighter. "Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Uh. You're paying me to – to what?"
Ibuki gasped. "Augh! Wait, did Ibuki not say? Crap, she's doing this all backwards! I totally meant to start off by telling you I wanna pay you to build my Halloween costume! Like, for the concert I'm doing in the square, so it can be big and flashy and crazy 'cause we're using my pro budget! Ibuki's manager said it was okay and everything! So Ibuki thought it'd be super cool to have like a robo-rocker type theme, like a robot and a rocker, and maybe I can have legs that extend super tall or – wait! Maybe I could have a jetpack!"
"A jetpack?" Kazuichi squawked.
"Yeah!" Ibuki whirled on him. "And this part you gotta say yes to, 'cause otherwise you owe me money for the crepes, and you said you didn't have any. Oh! Wait! This totally means we can go back to the thrift stores 'cause now you know you can buy things! Hurry, let's go!"
"Ibuki – Ibuki, hold on!" Kazuichi yelped, but she already had him by the wrist again, dragging him towards the nearest shop.
Now the thing she'd said earlier about taking shit out of his "check" made sense. Kind of. He got so wrapped up in trying to figure out how all the crazy transformer-like features she wanted could work together that he started to get too excited, and then she got even more excited, and then the wheels in his brain started turning so fast that when Ibuki pulled up short in front of that scary punk store again and said, "Wait, here we are!" Kazuichi blurted out, "But I'm not wearing any underwear!" without even thinking about it.
Twenty minutes later he slunk out of a department store, hands shoved into suspiciously lumpy pockets, red from his neck to his crown. Ibuki stood outside, whistling.
"Sooooo, are we ready to go back?" she said, not exactly looking at him.
Kazuichi tugged his beanie down. "Do we have to?" he whined, not exactly looking at her either.
Ibuki bristled. "Hey! Is that any way to talk to your number one client?" Kazuichi stammered a bunch of nonsense, and Ibuki burst out laughing. "Kidding! Totally kidding. Let's just go and see where we end up! Ibuki loves wandering around the city like this, but no one ever wants to go with her, so this is super super fun!"
"Wait – huh? What do you mean, no one wants to go with you?" Kazuichi repeated, confused, but Ibuki didn't seem to hear him.
"C'mon!" She grabbed his wrist and took off again. "We've got all night!"
—
"Do you think we'll be here all night?" said the annoyingly calm voice of Nagito, floating in the dark several feet up and away from him.
"Imagine the possibilities," Teruteru said as seductively as possible. It was meant to be sarcastic, but Hajime spluttered anyway.
"I'm sure somebody's gonna show up soon – mmph!" It sounded like somebody had gagged him. For a moment Teruteru wondered if Nagito had truly lost it and was planning on killing the both of them here…and then he heard Hajime swallow and gasp. "N-nagito, what the hell?"
Teruteru sat up straighter. "What are you two getting up to over there?" he said suspiciously. "Did Nagito manage to get himself into a position where he could –"
"It was steak or something," Hajime cut him off. "Where did you even –"
"From Teruteru's basket, of course," Nagito said, and Hajime made another startled grunt. "Sorry. You had something on your chin. I felt it dripping down."
Teruteru wished he could see almost as badly as he wished he was anywhere else in the world right now. "When did you do that?" he asked, fumbling in the dark for his phone. "I didn't even hear you come over."
Nagito laughed. It was worse in the dark. A thousand times worse. The hair stood up on Teruteru's neck. "Oh, did you really not hear me? I thought you must have noticed. Of course, it's utterly unforgivable for filth like me to take food created by the Ultimate Cook without his permission, so please yell at me all you like! I only did it because I heard Hajime's stomach growling, and it must be getting close to dinnertime…ahahahaha, but neither of us are Ultimates like you, so it was completely out of line. How could you ever forgive –"
"No, it's fine," Teruteru interrupted. He squinted as the light from his phone temporarily blinded him. There were no new notifications, because of course there weren't. "Hajime's a lovely person, I'm sure, and I'd much rather him enjoy my cooking than for it to go to waste. For crying out loud," he added under his breath, leaning his head back against the elevator wall. "I shoulda known better than to get into an elevator with the two of you."
"I'm right here, you know," Hajime said. Teruteru turned on his phone flashlight and turned it toward him, only to see Hajime flinch from the light as Nagito held a long, dripping wet strip of steak up to Hajime's lips.
"Ah!" Nagito also jumped as the light turned on, but his empty smile quickly took over his face again. "I wondered how much longer we would have in the dark. Truly, privacy would be far too much to hope for in this situation, especially for such worthless people as Hajime and myself."
Hajime made an indignant noise, but as his mouth was currently filled with steak, there wasn't much else he could do.
"Watch as closely as you'd like," Nagito said, pulling another strip of steak out of his pocket. Teruteru gasped. "I'm sure we'll be in here for quite some time."
"Alright, I've had about enough of this!" Teruteru snapped, pulling the picnic basket close to himself. "I don't care a lick whether Hope's Peak is sending help or not. I'm calling the fire department!"
All at once Nagito loomed over him, glaring down his nose. Illuminated from below, he looked three times as terrifying as normal. Teruteru scooted back towards the wall, holding his phone up like a shield.
"Are you serious?" Nagito said. "Do you really have that little faith in the ability of your fellow Ultimates? Just because you find yourself in a situation that you can't solve, you're willing to throw away this opportunity for your classmates' hope to shine?"
Hajime grunted. He was still trying to pull his hand free. "Nagito, he's got a point…"
Nagito shook his head, his eyes set. "Calling on worthless, ordinary people to solve a problem within Hope's Peak is an absolutely unforgivable solution. Are you saying that a school full of Ultimates really can't solve a problem as simple as a broken-down elevator?"
"You find a solution then!" Teruteru snapped. "If all you're gonna do is stand around feeding my food to your boyfriend, then I'm gonna call the fire department! Just try and stop me!"
Nagito took another step forward. Teruteru scrambled to his feet, plunged his hand into the basket, and grabbed an empty ceramic dish that had once held a fruit tart. He smashed it against the wall and held out a shard, hands trembling.
"I'm tellin' you, don't come any closer!" he yelled, as Nagito's horrible laugh filled the sweltering darkness.
"Guys, what is happening over there?" Hajime cried. "Seriously, if you want an Ultimate to figure this out, then why don't you just call another Ultimate?! Like, like – th-the Ultimate Inventor, or something, or – or one of the Ultimate Detectives! They could probably find Kazuichi, right? Or hell, maybe Ibuki knows something!"
"Huh?" Nagito looked back at Hajime. For a brief, mad moment, Teruteru considered stabbing him, just to make sure he was no longer a threat, but what with Nagito's luck and all, there would be no way that ended well, whether he hit him or not. "The Ultimate Musician? Do you think the ins and outs of an elevator could be similar enough to that of an electric guitar that she could help us?"
"What? No," Hajime said. "I mean, she's been looking for Kazuichi all week, right? So maybe she found something. Or she could figure out where he might have gone, since Teruteru can't get a hold of him."
Nagito looked down at his hand. He smiled softly. "Ah, well…maybe that's true. But wouldn't it be so much more inspiring for the Ultimates here to resolve this hopeless situation by –"
"For the love of Pete, just call Ibuki already!" Teruteru snapped, still holding the shard. "God knows if she'll know anything, 'cause Kazuichi's scared stiff of her, but it's better'n listening to this crackpot run his mouth!"
"My phone's in my pocket," Hajime said, and at once Nagito receded into the shadows, wearing an unreadable half-smile. By the light of his phone, Teruteru saw him reach into Hajime's front pocket, unlock the phone (to Hajime's dismay), and hold it up to Hajime's ear.
Teruteru stood in the corner, breathing heavily, exceedingly sweaty and feeling increasingly claustrophobic. The shard in his hand felt ridiculous, but he couldn't bring himself to drop it. If Ibuki didn't pick up, he was calling the fire department, Nagito be damned. And somehow…as much as he wanted to get out of here…he couldn't help wishing that Ibuki wouldn't pick up. Or that if she did, she'd be in the middle of a jam session, and she'd brush them off for interrupting her without a word about Kazuichi's whereabouts. "Huh? Kazuichi? Nah, Ibuki doesn't know where he is. He's impossible to track down, so I kinda gave up. Later!" That would be the ideal response.
"Hey, Ibuki?" Hajime said, shifting uncomfortably. Nagito stood a mere few inches from his face. "Y-yeah, it's Hajime. Uh. So, funny story…me, Nagito, and Teruteru are all stuck in the elevator. So. Yeah, really. We're looking for Kazuichi, a-and I knew you'd been looking for him, so – wait, huh? Really? Okay. Yeah, Teruteru's here. Uh…" He looked up at Nagito. "She says put it on speaker," he said.
Nagito did. The next thing Teruteru knew, Kazuichi's voice filled the darkness. "Uh, what? Um – uh, Teruteru, are you there?"
It sounded like he was outside. Teruteru could hear traffic in the background. His relief mingled with growing suspicion and soured instantly.
"For goodness sake, Kazuichi," he said, taking a few steps closer. "The one time you leave your room…"
" My room?" Kazuichi retorted. Then he stumbled and backtracked. "Uh – uh, yeah, of course my room. Where – where else would I – I-I-I totally wouldn't have been –"
"Huh?" That was Ibuki. "No way! You were locked in Teruteru's room! That's where Ibuki found you."
Nagito and Hajime both turned to look at Teruteru, who swallowed hard. He dropped the ceramic shard so he could smooth his hair back. His fingers were slick with sweat.
"Yeah, but that's a secret," Kazuichi was saying in a painfully loud whisper. Ibuki gasped.
"Oh, right! Yeah, no, yeah, Ibuki totally found Kazuichi locked in his own room!"
They were a duo from hell. Teruteru bit the inside of his cheek hard. If he could just have a smidge of Nagito's luck, then he'd be dreaming, and in just a moment he would wake up in his own bed, safe and sound, with Kazuichi hugging him tight.
"Well…either way," Hajime said, and Teruteru bit down harder. "Could you maybe come get us? We've been here for a while."
"Yeah!" Ibuki cried. "Yeah, I think we did everything we wanted, right?"
" You wanted," Kazuichi grumbled. Teruteru tasted blood. "Yeah, we can – yeah. Um, I'll be right there. But – wait! Hey, Teruteru, you gotta tell me where my keys are first, or I'm not gonna be able to get into any of the control panels."
Teruteru closed his eyes. He could feel both of them staring at him, Hajime with far more judgment than was strictly necessary, Nagito with contempt.
"Bedside drawer," he said as casually as he could.
"Bullshit, I checked there!"
"You didn't let me finish." He rubbed his temple. "As per usual. Back of the drawer, inside a box shaped like a small black journal. Don't touch anything else you find there, understand?"
"I won't – hey, what do you mean, 'as per usual'?" Kazuichi's voice rose to a shrill pitch. "I don't – you – I'm not that bad, am I?"
"Ho-kay, la la la, heard enough of that! Let's get moving!" Ibuki interrupted, and with a strangled squawk, the call cut.
Teruteru opened his eyes to see Hajime deliberately avoiding his gaze. Nagito, on the other hand, stared at him with eyes the size of hentai breasts.
"So it was true," he breathed. "The Ultimate Cook really did lock away the Ultimate Mechanic –"
With a flick of his wrist, Teruteru killed the lights. "Not. A. Word."
18+, NSWF. Feat. Nagito, Hajime, a problematic elevator, & Ibuki's master plan beginning to unfold.
Teruteru was in the middle of getting himself off to a fireman and a schoolteacher taking turns sucking chocolate off a policeman's dick when a text notification popped up in front of the schoolteacher's cum-covered face.
Kazuichi: where are my keys???
Teruteru paused the video. He wiped his forehead, panting, and stared at the text.
"Fudge," he breathed, and dismissed the notification so he could finish.
Read on AO3
On second thought, he turned all notifications off, since Kazuichi was known to send off texts like he was firing a machine gun. Then he finished, pushing himself over the edge as fast as possible so he had time to trash the evidence and scrub his hands without running over on his break.
The keys. Kazuichi's keys. The keys he'd taken from Kazuichi. Or rather, his jumpsuit. So Kazuichi had finally noticed they were gone, had he? That wasn't good.
The Kazuichi situation was posing a real problem. It was one thing to share your space with a love-starved devotee who gobbled up the feast you left him during the day and then lay in wait, stuffed and sluggish, for you to return. It was quite another to share your space with a cranky slob whose multiple daily breakdowns had shifted from endearing in their own way to downright insufferable.
Not to mention it was more than a little bit concerning. Kazuichi cried differently when he didn't think he was being watched. It happened yesterday when Teruteru woke up halfway as Kazuichi crawled back into bed in the middle of the night and started shivering as he wept quietly into his pillow. And in the days before that, Teruteru heard him after he shut himself in the bathroom, crying as if his heart was fit to break.
Of course he never talked about it. Whenever one of their spats moved Kazuichi to tears, it was always loud sobs, shouting and sputtering, tears and snot dripping down his splotchy face. Sometimes Teruteru wondered if he was putting it on. After all, what on earth could Kazuichi possibly have to cry about that frequently? He always calmed right down once Teruteru started kissing him. Maybe he was simply a bratty attention whore after all.
But then Kazuichi would say something in a voice hoarse from hours of crying, which never matched the length of their quarrels at all, and Teruteru would get the sickening feeling that they were both out of their depth.
At least one of us is sane , Teruteru griped to himself, washing his hands over and over. He set his hair to rights as well as he could using his front-facing camera. (The mirrors in the staff bathroom were frustratingly high up.) It's a delicate situation, very delicate. And it's not something I can deal with right now. I don't have time. I've been two minutes late off my breaks, consistent, these last few days, and if I don't get it together someone will notice. Really, Teruteru! Get a hold on yourself!
"I certainly did a moment ago," he murmured to his reflection, and that was almost enough to spark his typical smile as he bustled back into the kitchen.
He threw himself into his cooking so passionately that by the time lunch was over, a couple first-year students apparently ate themselves straight into the nurse's office, which was always a source of pride for him. He completely forgot about Kazuichi's text until he was in the middle of packing up a heavy dinner for him, full of rich, savory dishes and several fattening desserts Teruteru knew his amoureux wouldn't be able to resist.
Halfway through arranging a dozen brightly colored fruit tarts into a glass dish, it hit him. Kazuichi was looking for his keys. That had been hours ago. The man might have torn the whole room apart by now.
Swearing under his breath, Teruteru pulled out his phone, bracing himself for a novel-length message history.
Nothing. He stared at the last text, sent four hours ago, and started to sweat.
Teruteru: In a safe place. ;) I'll be back soon, let's talk about it over dinner, alright?
It took him about ten minutes to finish packing everything else up. He checked his phone before heading out of the kitchens, hoping for a reply. Nothing.
"He's probably…wrapped up in some project," Teruteru assured himself. Then he stopped in his tracks, because the only projects Kazuichi had access to at the moment were any of the multiple expensive machines inside Teruteru's room, and he cursed yet again.
"This is such a silly situation," he huffed, hurrying down the hallway towards the elevator. He hated that thing; nearly everyone did. It was old and broke down constantly, and besides, it had a creepy aura about it. But there was only so long he could stand dragging a basket loaded with enough comfort food to choke a horse up and down three flights of stairs, dammit!
To make matters worse, as he drew near the elevator, he saw two people he recognized arguing in front of it. It was Hajime, looking as though he'd been up all night, and Nagito, inexplicably wearing a cast on his right foot and leaning on a crutch.
"It's not going to break down," Hajime said wearily, pressing the call button.
Nagito shifted his weight on his crutch. He looked scared, which was the cherry on top of the uncanny sundae that was Nagito Komaeda. "Ah, Hajime. Even after all this time, you still don't understand? Given the incredible luck I've experienced today, if I board this elevator, you might plummet to your death."
"Good luck?" Hajime cried. "You broke your foot!"
Nagito smiled and spread his hands, nearly dropping the crutch in the process, but at that moment he locked eyes with Teruteru.
"Oh!" Nagito said, turning to look at him. "Are you taking the elevator too?"
Whatever soap opera moment Nagito and Hajime happened to be caught in, Teruteru wanted no part in it. Life was stressful enough without having to stand in the middle of this apparently much more successful dynamic duo making eyes at each other.
"Yes," said Teruteru shortly, although he managed a tight smile. "Mind if I step past while you sort this out?"
Hajime stepped aside, but wheels turned behind Nagito's eyes. That was rarely a good thing.
"Actually, if you don't mind, I'll ride with you," he said brightly. "It's incredibly bad luck that you happened to approach the elevator at the same time as us, so since it's really impossible for me to take the stairs right now, riding up with you will definitely balance out my good luck from this afternoon. Ah, but Hajime – you should probably stay behind, just in case."
Teruteru narrowed his eyes. " I'm the bad luck? How am I the problem here?"
"Well, I was having such a nice afternoon with Hajime," Nagito explained. "It's truly unlucky that you're here to interrupt it."
Hajime cleared his throat loudly. There were a million ways to play with this situation, but at the moment, Teruteru was having none of it. He was tired and achy from a long day in the kitchens, his arm already hurt from holding such a heavy basket for so long, Kazuichi was searching for his keys and had possibly gone rogue, and all he wanted to do was get back to his room and stuff the sense of out of his boyfriend.
Honestly, at this point he wouldn't say no to some of these fruit tarts himself, either. Couldn't everything just stop being a problem for even five minutes?
"Fine. If I'm such a nuisance, I'll just go up by myself," he snapped. "Have fun filing your divorce."
"No, it's important that we go together!" He stood in front of the door, a determined frown on his face. "Being stuck in a slow, rickety elevator with you is such bad luck that it will probably balance out the possibility that the entire thing falls apart and we plummet hundreds of feet to our death!"
"Huh?" Teruteru's face flushed hot. "Like hell we're gonna fall! We're on the ground floor, daggone it! And what makes you think I'll get into any sorta contraption with a death magnet like you, anyhow? I'm goin' alone!"
Nagito laughed, a sick, wheezy sound that made the hair stand up on the back of Teruteru's neck. Hajime started to protest, but before he could, Teruteru turned and marched into the open elevator and pushed the button for the top floor.
"Guys, this is stupid," Hajime said. "Look, I'll ride up with Teruteru, and Nagito, you can come right up after us. It's not gonna fall."
He stepped inside. A look of horror crossed Nagito's face.
"Hajime, no! If you leave me behind, the elevator might fall with you in it, and –"
The doors started to close. Then the doors stopped closing, and the next thing Teruteru knew, he was standing to one side of the (admittedly weirdly huge) elevator while Hajime and Nagito argued just a few feet from him.
The doors slid shut. The elevator jerked. Slowly, they began to ascend.
Nagito hugged himself with his free arm, laughing in the general direction of the floor. It sounded more like he was having an asthmatic attack. Meanwhile, Hajime looked like a haggard kindergarten teacher in the last long weeks of March.
"Why don't we just get a new elevator?" he said, seemingly to himself. He leaned back against the iron lattice like he was trying to look cool, but he clutched the ironwork so hard his knuckles turned white.
"Beats me," Teruteru said, just to kill the tension in the room. He was taking deep breaths through the nose and fiddling with his scarf to calm himself. "It's hardly accessible, especially for a school that's supposed to be the pinnacle of progress, isn't it? Kazuichi says the school hangs onto this one because of tradition, but I don't know why that means they can't install –"
"Wait." Hajime's eyes snapped onto him. Teruteru gulped. "You've seen Kazuichi? I thought he was missing."
"Um –" Teruteru backed up a few steps. "Um, yes, he is. But – but, he and I spent a lot of time together before – well, you know. He's terribly lonely, and – well, he's having a difficult time, and so –"
Dammit, Kazuichi was rubbing off on him. (Ha.) Since when had he been such a terrible liar?
"A-anyway, it doesn't take much to get him to start complaining about the elevator," Teruteru added quickly. "He says they call him down to fix it at least once a month. Honestly, he's probably the only reason it hasn't collapsed."
Hajime cast a nervous glance around himself. Nagito turned his empty gaze on Teruteru, who was really wishing he'd dragged himself up the stairs instead of sitting through this hell.
"So it's true, then," Nagito said, giving him a long, appraising look. "You do have Kazuichi locked up somewhere."
For one horrible second Teruteru thought the elevator had gone into a free fall. Then he realized that was just him panicking.
"Wh-what? No, I don't! Who's saying that?" He took another step back and glared at Nagito. "Just 'cause I'm the one y'all've decided to hate on don't mean you can go round makin' baseless accusations! What, d'you think I got him tied up in a sex dungeon or somethin'?!"
Nagito nodded. "I did wonder that, yes."
"Hold on, what?" Hajime looked deeply disturbed. "When did this happen?"
But before either of them could answer him, the lights flickered, the room shook, and with a low groan, the elevator shuddered to a stop.
Nobody said anything for a long moment. Then Hajime slowly, slowly put his head in his hands, while Nagito started up that wheezy death rattle of a laugh again.
"I'm –" Teruteru had backed himself into the wall at this point. He looked around wildly and poured all his strength into speaking goddamn clearly. "I'm not hiding Kazuichi anywhere!"
"Really? That's a relief," Nagito said, smiling right through him. "Because you're going to need his talent if you want to get out of here."
Teruteru gulped again. Hard. He felt a little lightheaded. "Fine," he said, doing his best to keep his voice steady. He put the picnic basket down and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I'll see if I can reach him."
Hajime looked up from where he had dropped into a crouch. "W-wait, so…hold on. You do know where Kazuichi is?"
Teruteru didn't bother answering that. He was clutching his phone to his ear, listening to it ring, ring, ring.
He's gotta pick up, he thought, sweat dripping down his face as the gazes of both Nagito and Hajime fell heavy on him. He has to. I mean, he's done nothing but sit in my room for three days now! He can't have just happened to leave at this particular moment, right? Right??
The silence that fell as the call went to voicemail was so thick Teruteru could have sliced it, diced it, and plated it up.
Hajime groaned and facepalmed. "Great," he said. "Just great."
—
"Shit!" Kazuichi hissed to himself as he hid behind a coat rack. "I left my phone in our room! I mean – I mean, his room, or – fuck!"
Even when he was talking to himself he couldn't keep up his train of thought. Of all the bad situations he'd gotten himself into over the years, this had to be one of the worst…so of course he'd forgotten his phone. Of course it'd be too easy if he could just call Teruteru and ask him for an excuse to get out of here.
He was in a thrift store. Some no-name, goth-punk thrift store, and everything that wasn't wild shades of pink or purple was black, and Ibuki was running rampant through it, insisting that he try on this or that or the other thing, and it was mortifying.
So far he hadn't tried on anything. Firstly, because he didn't have any money. And secondly – as if being broke weren't bad enough – he wasn't wearing any goddamn underwear.
How was he supposed to tell her that?! Any of that?! This was the third store she'd dragged him into and she hadn't gotten the message that he couldn't fucking be here and he wasn't about to tell her that he'd ripped his boxers and had been wandering the city ass-naked this whole time, so she thought he was just being a spoilsport and it was pretty obvious she was already getting super annoyed with him.
He was gonna cry. He was gonna cry for real. He was gonna break down crying in the middle of this dimly-lit secondhand shop full of real punks with spiked hair and artistically ripped shirts and spiked piercings and they were gonna throw him out for being a pussy, because clearly this wasn't the sort of place that pussies were supposed to buy clothes from.
"Boo!" Ibuki sprang up behind him, arms loaded with terrifying clothing, and Kazuichi screamed. The man behind the register glared at them. "C'mon, quit hiding! You gotta try on something. "
Kazuichi shook his head and shuffled towards the door, yanking his beanie fully over his eyes. "No way! I already told you, I'm not touching any of that – ow!"
The rack of shirts he'd stumbled into rattled and clattered as several articles fell onto the ground. Kazuichi pulled up his hat just enough to start scooping them up as fast as he could, his shoulder throbbing where he hit it.
"Start looking where you're going!" Ibuki snapped. She grabbed his wrist and the next thing he knew, they were out on the street again. Kazuichi blinked in the sudden sunlight. Fuck, what time was it? Three p.m.? Four? Did it even matter?
"I told you, this is freaking stupid," Kazuichi growled. He yanked his arm away as Ibuki tried to grab him again. "I'm not trying on any of those dumb clothes –"
"Nuh-uh! You're being stupid about it!" Ibuki's eyes flashed and Kazuichi took a few short steps back. "Kazuichi's stuck in Teruteru's room cause he doesn't have any clothes, so Ibuki hunts him down and takes him to find clothes, and now he's being a jerk about it! Clothes shopping is fun, but not if the person you're with just keeps complaining all the time. I have stuff I gotta do, you know!"
"Well, it's not like I asked you to be here!" Kazuichi snapped. His throat closed up, so he ducked his head and started walking in a random direction. Ibuki trotted after him.
"Yeah, well, no one else was going after you!" Ibuki said, jogging to keep pace. Kazuichi winced and jerked his hat down again. "And it's not like you can stay locked in there forever, right? Right??"
"I could if I wanted!" Kazuichi's voice cracked. He kept his eyes trained on what little he could see of the sidewalk as he walked faster and faster. "I could if I…if I just…if I just had something to do …"
That was a lie and he knew it. Only three days into rooming with Teruteru, and he knew he'd go crazy if he had to spend another afternoon locked in that place alone, watching the sunlight creep across the walls.
"What choice do I have, anyway?" he spat before Ibuki could finish whatever she'd been saying. "It's not like I have anywhere else to go!"
He grit his teeth and ground the heels of his palms into his eyes, his beanie rubbing hard against his eyelids. He saw spots. Then his stomach dropped out from under him as he missed a step, and he pitched forward, and –
"Bwaugh, watch out!" Ibuki grabbed him by the back of the jumpsuit and yanked him backwards. Kazuichi stumbled and nearly lost his balance, catching himself on a street post. "What's going on with you, huh? You almost walked into the street!"
Kazuichi gulped. He clutched the street post for support. The cars rushing by felt way too close and loud all of sudden; his heart pounded and sweat beaded on his forehead as he slowly processed that he could have just died.
Ibuki stepped in front of him and flipped the edge of his beanie up so she could stare him in the eyes again. Kazuichi squawked, but he was still in too much shock to flip it back down.
"What's going on with you?" Ibuki said again, staring up at him. Her hands flew to her mouth as if she'd just thought of something. "Nothing's wrong, is it? Like at home? Nobody's hurt, right?"
It was still taking a lot of work to process that he'd nearly walked directly into a busy street. Kazuichi swallowed hard and shook his head. "What are you talking about?" he croaked. "What's my home got to do with any of this? I'm fine. Dad's fine. Except, I mean, he's gonna flip out once he finds out about…that I'm…you know." His voice pitched up again. "S-so I really only have until Christmas until…but, whatever, it's fine. It's fine. I can just keep hiding until then, right? Or – or maybe, if I – if I don't go home…"
He clutched the street post and turned his face away. His stupid body was betraying him again, making him cold, sweaty, and short of breath all at once.
"Anyway, what do you care?" he snapped. "I mean, thanks for fixing my jumpsuit and everything, but I'm good. Really, I'm fine. So – so, why can't you leave me alone?"
Ibuki didn't respond right away. Kazuichi stared at a puddle on the sidewalk, wincing as the sun reflected into his eyes, and pushing down sharp stabs of anxiety as hard as he could. He hadn't even known he was scared about going home until Ibuki made him say it, but now…now…shit, he was fucked, wasn't he? He was really, really fucked.
"Jeez, that's no good," Ibuki said. She scratched the back of her head. "No wonder you're depressed."
"I'm not –" Kazuichi started, but his voice died in his throat. Was he really gonna stand there after literal days of crying, weeks of breakdowns, and months of feeling like everything was pointless, and still try to convince Ibuki he wasn't depressed? She was gonna think he was crazy, if she didn't already.
But if he was depressed, what the fuck did that mean? Was he stuck like this forever? Were things just gonna keep getting worse? Was he gonna die???
"You need so much therapy," Ibuki said as Kazuichi started hyperventilating again. Then her face lit up and she snapped her fingers. "Oh! Great idea! We should totally use the healing power of music! This is super lucky! You can come to my room and we can scream our hearts out –"
"I'm not letting you play death metal at me!" Kazuichi screeched, pulling his beanie over his ears. "That stuff is terrifying! It's just gonna make me worse, so – so – no way, I'm not doing it!"
"Aw, why not? You scream all the time; I bet you'd be really good at it!"
He let Ibuki drag him away from the street post, half-listening to her ramble about screamo training, mostly focusing on slowing his breathing before he snapped and went into a full panic attack again. At some point Ibuki declared that she was hungry, and he didn't really have any choice but to go along with her, so the next thing he knew he was standing outside some hole-in-the-wall crepe shop, wiping his nose on his sleeve as Ibuki examined display after display seemingly at random.
"C'mon, you gotta get something ," Ibuki said when Kazuichi tried to tell her he wasn't hungry. "We've been walking around all afternoon!"
"Like I don't know that!" Kazuichi folded his arms over his stomach. He sniffed. His eyes hurt, his head hurt, his pride hurt, and what little was left of his self-esteem lay in tatters at his feet. "I can't, okay? I – I don't have any money. Happy?"
Ibuki's mouth turned into an O. "Not any???"
"No," Kazuichi hissed, jerking his hat over his ears. "You don't have to say it so loud!"
"Wait wait wait. So that's why you wouldn't try on any clothes? Cause you're broke?" Ibuki locked her hands behind her back. She looked personally offended, which Kazuichi didn't think was exactly fair. "Why didn't you say so? Ibuki woulda bought you stuff and taken it out of your check!"
"I wasn't gonna ask you to buy clothes for me – wait, what do you mean, check?!" Kazuichi flushed.
Ibuki clapped her hands to her mouth. "Ah, crap! I got so excited about shopping I did this all backwards! Okay, okay, okay, here's what we're gonna do. First, you pick a crepe, and then , we're gonna sit down and Imma tell you all the stuff I've been trying to ask you about, except you kept running away. Hurry, hurry!"
"But I don't –"
"No buts! Ibuki'll buy it for you and deduct the cost! Let's go, let's go!"
Spluttering, Kazuichi stumbled toward the display of model crepes in the shop's front window. "Fine. Stop rushing me, though! Jeez…it's not like I have anywhere else to be."
—
"You're sure he'll answer you," Hajime said flatly.
"He always has before!" Teruteru snapped. Which implicated him, of course, in whatever bullshit rumors about him had spread around the school. He'd kept his ears closed as much as possible the last few days, and now he wished he hadn't, if only so he could know what the hell was going on.
More importantly – the three of them needed to get out of this godforsaken elevator. They'd been stuck here for almost an hour. It was hot, close, stuffy, and filled with the delicious smells of steak, chicken, mushrooms, and rapidly melting fruit tarts.
This particular basket wasn't outfitted with much in the way of cooling. After all, it was only intended for the relatively short journey from the kitchen to the third-floor dormitories, and Teruteru knew he only had so long before certain items started to go bad.
"Oh yeah?" Hajime wiped sweat off his forehead. He kept glancing at the basket, and Teruteru kept glaring at him from his protective stance in front of it. "I didn't think you guys were friends."
"Shows what you know," Teruteru shot back. Then he cast a nervous glance at Nagito, who was sitting in the corner, injured leg stretched out in front of him and his face tilted up to the ceiling, his long white neck exposed like he dared the universe to slit his throat. Did that count as degrading Hajime for not having an Ultimate Talent? Being stuck in this elevator was bad enough without having to sit through one of Nagito's tirades.
"Actually," said Nagito, slowly, slowly lowering his gaze to meet Teruteru's, "it's safe to say that Hajime knows more about the two of you than the rest of our class combined. Isn't that incredible?"
Teruteru wet his lips. "He does?"
"I do?" said Hajime.
"Of course." Nagito lifted a skeletal finger. "He was one of the first to notice that Kazuichi was missing, after all. Not that you would know, since you've been pretty absent lately. Isn't that strange? The Ultimate Cook, missing meals? Is that really any way for an Ultimate to behave? Not that I have any room to judge, since my talent is worthless as ever, but even I have to admit that this is pretty out of character for you."
"What are you going on about?" Teruteru looked away, twiddling his fingers. "My talent is in the kitchen, not presiding over meals, although I'm very good at that, too. And I'd really prefer it if you called me the Ultimate Chef –"
"In fact, I think Hajime noticed even before Ibuki, and she's been one of the only people who seems to care that Kazuichi is gone," Nagito said, touching his chin in thought. "Not that I can truly support her obsession with finding him, since I'm sure it takes away valuable time she could spend honing her own talent…but then again, the hope she displays in her search is so strong, how could I say anything to stand in her way? And yet, to waste such powerful hope on someone so self-absorbed that he's wasting away in hiding, throwing away the precious hours he's been gifted here at Hope's Peak to wallow in self pity…is one of the most despairful things I've ever heard of!"
He clenched his fist. Hajime frowned. "I keep telling you, 'despairful' isn't a word," he said.
"Does any of this matter right now?" Teruteru said, throwing up his hands. "We're trapped in a goddamn elevator, for cryin' out loud!"
"I'll call security again," Hajime said, pulling out his phone. "They have to be sending somebody by now."
Teruteru had a bad feeling that the somebody security was trying to contact was, in fact, Kazuichi. He gave up on poise and sat down next to the picnic basket, grumbling to himself.
The scent wafting from the meal he'd spent two hours putting together was starting to overpower the space. Nagito looked slightly green. Hajime's stomach growled, and he cleared his throat quickly to cover it up. Teruteru quirked an eyebrow at him, picked a fruit tart out of its designated Tupperware, and bit into it, eyefucking him as aggressively as possible.
Hajime looked uncomfortable, but he stared back anyway. Damn it all, but he was hard to intimidate. In retrospect, Teruteru didn't know what he'd expected from someone who managed to make "friends" with Nagito.
"Why do you have that, anyway?" said Hajime after the phone call once again failed to produce any results other than we're working on it, you'll be out as soon as we can swing it. "Are you going somewhere?"
"Of course," said Teruteru, as suggestively as he could. "What else do you think we get up to in my secret sex dungeon?"
Nagito's eyes widened. "So it's real?"
"I'm bein' sarcastic, bonehead!"
Nagito laughed. Teruteru ate the rest of the fruit tart as a coping mechanism. "I know that, of course. I was only joking. Obviously, you can't be taking all this to a sex dungeon. Right, Hajime?"
"Huh?" Hajime's stomach growled again. He coughed. "Wait…no, I get it. You're taking the elevator up, not down. That's it, right?"
"Are you seriously cross-examining me about this?" Teruteru exclaimed.
"Exactly," said Nagito, looking fondly at Hajime. Teruteru briefly considered throwing a fruit tart at him before deciding that would be an insult to food. "How could there be a dungeon on the third floor?"
Teruteru groaned. "I cannot believe we are having this conversation," he said.
"I can," Nagito said sadly. "Fearing the elevator would hurl the three of us to our deaths was far too optimistic. After all, what's more unlucky…being the only survivor of a horrific elevator failure, or getting trapped alone with Hajime for hours and hours...except we're also here with you?"
Hajime stared sharply over at Nagito. "Huh? Wait, hold on, what's that supposed to mean? The first one is way more unlucky."
"Unless," said Teruteru, stroking his chin, "what Nagito is really saying is that he wishes he could...truly take advantage of being locked in a small space alone with you."
He waggled his eyebrows. Hajime stared, started back, and went red like every blood vessel had burst in his face at once.
"Huh?" Hajime's voice crack rivaled some of Kazuichi's. "That's not – don't – look, there's gotta be some way to get out of here!"
"Don't let me stand in the way," Teruteru said, pulling out another tart as Hajime frantically jabbed at the elevator buttons and searched every wall for some kind of emergency compartment. "I certainly wouldn't mind if you started going at each other. It'll be like I'm not even here."
Nagito wrapped his arms around himself. "To be trapped in the company of the Ultimate Cook under such circumstances…what horrible luck! I should be basking in the magnificence of your talent, but I can't even bring myself to feel a little bit happy about it." He shivered. Teruteru wished he would start making out with Hajime if he was going to make faces like that anyway. "What a tragic coincidence! What incredible despair!"
"Aha!" Hajime said, with the desperate edge of a madman. "Look, I found another panel back here! Um, it's in a weird spot behind the bars, but I'm pretty sure if I just…"
In an instant, Nagito's eyes locked onto Hajime again. "Hajime, careful! If you push too far –"
"Almost…there…" Hajime grunted.
Teruteru closed his eyes. "You might as well indulge yourselves," he said. "It already sounds incredibly suggestive in here."
"Would it kill you to shut up?" Hajime snapped.
Teruteru shut up. He did crack his eyes open, just to see whether Hajime was about to kill them all, which unfortunately detracted from the sexual quality of his strained panting.
Although, it was strange. Ever since he and Kazuichi had started meeting regularly, he'd found it much more difficult to indulge in objectifying his classmates, even if nowadays he primarily did so out of spite. Everyone looked as attractive as ever, and yet…
Well. He knew what the problem was. He simply wasn't the playboy he pretended to be. Kazuichi knew as much. And, if Ibuki was as set on digging him out as Nagito made her sound, soon everyone else would, too.
It was hard to keep from scowling as a brief stab of jealousy hit him. What was Ibuki thinking, sticking her nose into their business like this? What did she have to gain? Certainly Hiyoko couldn't have been right all those days ago, theorizing that Ibuki was sweet on Kazuichi now that he was gaining weight…but what else could she possibly want?
He ran a hand through his hair. There had to be a way out of this. There simply had to be.
"Got it!" Hajime cried, shoving his fingers between the panel and the wall. Teruteru watched, holding his breath. For a second, it looked like Hajime might actually be about to accomplish something, and then…
Hajime swore under his breath. Nagito stared up at him, anxiety carved all over his sickly white face.
"It won't open," he grunted, shoving his fingers in farther. "It's – it's stuck, or something. Maybe if I come at it from the other side…"
He stepped back and just as quickly jerked forward again. Teruteru sat up straighter, craning his neck. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Hajime said, trying to tug his hand out. "Nothing. It's just, uh, it's tight –"
Teruteru couldn't resist. "Tight, is it? I can think of some more appealing tight spaces you might stick your fingers –"
"Cut it out!" Hajime yelled, and Teruteru had to admit that maybe he'd underestimated how strong Hajime's feelings for Nagito might be. It wasn't usually this easy to fluster him. Hajime grit his teeth as he pulled hard. "Can't – you just – be quiet –"
"Careful!" Nagito said, springing to his feet. He stumbled and caught himself against the bars, one hand flying to Hajime's shoulder for support. Hajime jumped. "You could hurt yourself! Maybe you should stay like this until help arrives…if it ever does, of course. We might be stuck in here for days, long enough for you to slowly die of hunger or thirst…"
Teruteru cast a look at the basket. "If it really comes to that, I think we'll be alright," he said dryly. He smoothed back his hair, pushing down the ridiculous fear that maybe they would be stuck in here forever. Or maybe they would fall. But no, Nagito was insane, so he couldn't entertain any thoughts like that. He wouldn't. "At the very least, we have enough food here to survive the next forty-eight hours, so…so, we'll definitely be alright. And I'm sure we'll be rescued before then –"
"Even worse," Nagito said, in the voice of someone who had just learned the world would end in three days. "You'll prolong his suffering."
"Can you stop talking about me like I'm going to die?" Hajime said, looking very red and frightened as he stared into Nagito's eyes. "My hand's just stuck. That's all it is. We're gonna be fine."
Then, as if everything weren't dramatic enough already, the lights cut.
"I-I-I don't need anyone to break me out!" Kazuichi shrieked, pulling his beanie down over his ears. "What, are you crazy?!"
Ibuki rushed up to him, pointing so intensely that he screamed and shielded his face. "Crazy? Ibuki's not crazy! You've been missing for days and days, and now that Ibuki's found you, she's not gonna let Teruteru keep you locked in here forever!"
"Teruteru – what?" Kazuichi peeked between his fingers as Ibuki whirled around and rushed over to the foot of the bed. "No, you've got it all wrong! He didn't trap me in here. I freaking did this to my –" He gulped. "I-I mean, it is kind of his fault, since he…he started everything with that stupid eating competition, but…hey, what the hell are you doing?"
Ibuki had grabbed Kazuichi's jumpsuit off the floor and was turning it inside out. "Kazuichi said he broke his jumpsuit, right? So step one of Operation Break Kazuichi Out of Here is – bwaugh!"
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She yeeted the jumpsuit across the room, wiping her hands on her shirt. Kazuichi shrieked and covered his face again, even though she'd thrown it in a completely different direction.
"Ew, ew ew ew!" Ibuki's eyes rolled back in her head. She did this a lot, but it still made Kazuichi want to scream himself hoarse every goddamn time. "Ibuki didn't even think! Is it dirty? Is it dirty? Kazuichi and Teruteru didn't do things in it, did they?!"
"It's not dirty!" Kazuichi interrupted. His voice cracked and shot into a high soprano register. "Teruteru made me – he washed it, okay? He, he did my freaking laundry a-and everything. Jesus fuck…"
Slowly, slowly, he sank down against the door and curled into a ball. He cupped his hands over his glasses. After a moment of silence, he heard Ibuki scuttle over.
"So, so, wait." He heard her pop something open and peeked out just long enough to see her pulling a metal cylinder embossed with bones and a pincushion in the shape of an actual human heart out of the plastic box she'd brought with her. He covered his eyes again before the sight of it could make him sick. "Teruteru trapped Kazuichi, but…he's also doing his laundry?"
"I told you, he didn't trap me!" Kazuichi whimpered. He pulled his knees tight up against his chest so Ibuki couldn't see how closely his dumb T-shirt hugged his belly. "This is – this is just a temporary thing, okay? It's like I said. I broke my jumpsuit and I broke my stupid uniform, so…hey, watch it! What are you doing?"
Ibuki was sitting way too close to him, cross-legged, with his jumpsuit on her lap. She unspooled a long line of purple thread, sucked on the end, and threaded it through a sharp silver needle, then dropped the needle to the center of the line and tied the ends together. As he watched, she pinned the tear in his jumpsuit closed and stabbed the needle through the cloth.
Kazuichi yelped. Ibuki looked suspiciously at him like she wasn't making unauthorized changes to his favorite piece of clothing.
"So if you were just hiding in here, why didn't you text Ibuki back?" Her eyes flashed. "It's rude to leave a girl on read, you know!"
"Cause I – cause I –" Kazuichi flailed his hands. "I-I didn't know what you wanted! You're the only one besides Teruteru who knows that I'm – that I'm –" He swallowed hard and dropped his voice to a whisper. "– gay, and…y-you saw me break my uniform, and…I thought maybe you wanted to blackmail me."
"Ibuki already said she's not blackmailing you!" Ibuki pulled several pins out of the suit and jabbed them into the heart-shaped pincushion so hard that Kazuichi covered his own heart in reflex. "What is it with you and blackmail? Those are some serious trust issues, you know!"
"I don't have trust issues!" Kazuichi squawked, going pink. He shot his hand out and grabbed his jumpsuit. Ibuki grabbed it right back. "Stop that! Y-you can't just break into people's rooms and start sewing their clothes!"
As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt like an idiot. Based on the incredulous look on Ibuki's face, she agreed with him.
"Hey hey hey, don't tug!" Ibuki hurried to smooth out her stitches. She'd already gotten the tear half closed somehow. "Like Ibuki was saying, step one to Operation Breaking Kazuichi Out of Here is fixing his jumpsuit so he has something to wear, so stop being a baby and let Ibuki work!"
Kazuichi whimpered. He stretched his beanie over his glasses and pulled it down over his entire face.
"A baby?" he repeated, his voice cracking again. He sniffled and put his hands on top of his head as Ibuki whispered to herself and occasionally made weird chirping noises.
Eventually, Kazuichi couldn't stand not being able to see what was going on. He pulled his beanie up, cursing as it got stuck on his glasses, and watched Ibuki work.
It was hard to know what to do. He kept replaying the way Ibuki had looked at him when she'd asked if he and Teruteru had done things in his jumpsuit, cringing as he remembered the revulsion on her face, and all of a sudden he felt so disgusted with himself that he could barely bring himself to look at her anymore.
He settled for staring at the long piece of thread she was threading in and out of the cloth. "Hey, w…why are you using purple?"
Ibuki finished closing the tear and tied off the thread. "Cause purple's a mega awesome color and it looks cool on green, that's why!" She brought the jumpsuit up to her face and bit the remaining thread off, then unspooled another long string and threaded the needle again. Before Kazuichi could stop her, she started sewing jagged, showy stitches over the seam.
Kazuichi didn't know what to do. Part of him wanted to yell at her not to fuck up his jumpsuit because it was important to him, while the other part of him argued that he'd already ruined it anyway, so it wasn't like Ibuki could make it worse . The rest of his mind was frozen in terror that Teruteru might come back at any second, see Ibuki in his room, see the disassembled stand mixer with the grease that coated its guts all over Kazuichi's hands, face, and clothes, and start whaling on him. Verbally or physically. Or both. Kazuichi didn't know which was worse.
"Everyone's gonna –" Kazuichi's voice came out a good octave higher than he wished it would have. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Everyone's gonna be able to see that I broke it, though."
Ibuki nodded. "Yeah, that's the cool part!" she said, adding more and more stitches like she was botching a surgery. "Big colorful stitches are epic. Plus, it matches Kazuichi's whole neon crazy punk vibe, right?"
Kazuichi swallowed hard. He curled in on himself and tugged his beanie down lower, cursing himself out in his mind as tears pooled in the corners of his eyes again.
Ibuki tied off the thread, bit it off again, and held her work up at the light. Then she peeked around it to look at Kazuichi. "Right? That's your thing."
Kazuichi shrugged. His throat tightened up.
"Perfect!" She shoved his jumpsuit at him without warning. Kazuichi yelped and jumped back. "All done! Now – wait, hold on a sec!"
As if she wasn't already sitting too close, Ibuki scrambled forward on her hands and knees and stared into Kazuichi's eyes.
"What the –" He leaned into the door as hard as he could. "What are you doing?!"
"Since when has Kazuichi worn glasses?!"
Kazuichi squeaked. "Shut up. Since – since I was like, eight, I guess? Who cares?" He sniffed and hid his face in his hands. "It's all fake, anyway."
"Wha? They're fake glasses?!"
"No!" Kazuichi pushed his fingers under his glasses to press hard on his eyes, as if that would keep him from crying. "The – the – the 'neon crazy punk' thing, obviously. It's not like you don't know. You saw me freak out last week, and – and I mean, look at me!" He drew a sharp breath. "I'm fucking lame."
Ibuki seemed to consider this. She looked at the jumpsuit clutched to his chest. "But you still like bright colors, right?"
"What?" Kazuichi scrubbed the tears from his eyes and peeked up at her. "Yeah, I like that, but what does it matter –"
"Okay, good!" Ibuki grabbed him by the shoulders, spun him around, and pushed him into the bathroom. "Now go, hurry, change so we can go!"
Spluttering and cursing, Kazuichi stumbled through the bathroom door and almost fell against the counter as Ibuki slammed the door behind him. He looked up at his pink, puffy, grease-stained face in the mirror, then down at the jumpsuit in his hands, then back at himself.
"The fuck is happening?" he whimpered.
Two seconds later he realized he was getting grease all over the jumpsuit again. He dropped it and washed his hands, then his face. Jeez, Teruteru is rubbing off on me, he thought, and another wave of disgust rolled through him.
The stitches really were bright purple, but they were surprisingly strong, especially considering how quickly Ibuki had done them. He peeled off his sweatpants and tugged the jumpsuit on instead. Somehow, it made him feel a little more put-together, even though it still stuck to his ass and his stomach. He dropped to a squat to test the stitches again, then turned to look at his ass in the mirror.
"Huh." He wiped his nose on the back of his hand. "That's actually kinda sick."
By the time he'd swapped his glasses for his contacts, he almost felt like himself again. He even touched up his eyeliner (long-lasting and waterproof, but after days of constant crying it was smudging pretty bad).
Now he just felt stupid. He put one hand in his pocket as he opened the door, doing his best to look nonchalant.
"So…" He scratched the back of his head. Ibuki, who had been examining the questionable posters hanging from Teruteru's walls like they were exotic venomous snakes, jumped to attention. "What exactly are we doing again?"
Ibuki lunged forward and made a grab for his wrist, and he barely managed to jump away. "There you are! You took forever! C'mon, we're getting out of here!"
"But I can't!" Kazuichi squawked, dodging her grasp a second time. She started chasing him around the room, pouncing at him while he scrambled back like a grasshopper in the grips of a cat. "I – I gotta fix that mixer first, or Teruteru'll kill me –"
Ibuki jumped over her sewing kit and stuck her finger in Kazuichi's face. "If Kazuichi's not trapped, then why can't he leave?"
"Stop saying I'm trapped!" Kazuichi yelled, lurching back into the table. The bowl of half-eaten udon soup nearly fell off; he lunged and saved it just in time.
"You said it first!"
"Well – well, I fucked up! Obviously Teruteru's gonna be mad if I keep breaking his shit, and – and if he comes back and I'm not here and that's all over the floor, maybe he won't let me come back, a-and then I'll be alone, and gay, and I won't have a boyfriend, and –"
Ibuki clapped her hands over her mouth. "Boyfriend? I thought you said –"
"I-I mean – I don't know, I won't have a – a person I do things with. Or – shit!" Kazuichi's face flamed. He covered his eyes before Ibuki could give him that look of disgust again. "Jeez, why do you keep making me say these kinds of things? I'm seriously gonna cry! And I'm sick of crying, I'm really sick of it!"
Ibuki took advantage of his moment of weakness to grab his wrist and tug him towards the door. Kazuichi squawked.
"Just leave him a note or something!" she said, locking her hands behind her back and frowning up at him when he jumped away again. "Kazuichi's been locked in forever and it's super unhealthy and Ibuki has ideas she's been trying to share with him and he's not getting out of it this time, so come on! I take breaking people out of their boyfriends' rooms seriously, you know!"
"H-How many times have you done that?" Kazuichi sputtered, but he left a note anyway.
Next thing he knew, Ibuki herded him out the door, and there he stood in the hallway, dressed in a functional jumpsuit again (still commando, but he was just gonna have to live with that) for what felt like the first time in years.
He tugged his beanie down and looked around wildly. No one else was around. Ibuki pulled the door shut and twirled in a circle.
"Hell yeah, we did it!" She grinned and dashed towards the stairs, looking over her shoulder at him. "C'mon c'mon, Ibuki has an idea where to go! Follow me!"
He did, sprinting to keep up with her just so she wouldn't grab at him again, pulling his hat over his eyes the second that other students came into sight, and running directly into a wall.
"C'mon, stop being slow!" Ibuki had him by the wrist again, pulling him along while he clutched his forehead and cursed. They were on the first floor now, hurtling towards the entrance hall. He was seeing stars, out of breath, slightly dizzy, a little bit motion sick, terrified that someone he knew would see him, and then…
He was out of the school. Ibuki hopped from one foot to the other while he caught his breath. The afternoon air was cool and crisp with freshly fallen rain. From behind the clouds, a bit of sun peeked out and glinted off the puddles on the ground.
Ibuki beckoned him towards the school gates. She had a wild glint in her eyes, and she grinned from ear to ear. "Alright, let's go! Ibuki knows just where to start!"
Taking cover in Teruteru's room was a dream come true for all of thirteen hours.
Kazuichi had almost forgotten his panic over what the heck he and Teruteru were to each other by the time Teruteru came back that evening, bearing a picnic basket full of food and a hamper full of clean clothes. Kazuichi pulled on his now-typical T-shirt and sweats, complaining that they'd shrunk again and scowling at Teruteru when he simply laughed at him and patted Kazuichi's belly.
"When's the due date?" he teased. Kazuichi blinked at him.
"Due date? For what?" He scratched his head. "Homework or something? Dude, I haven't done homework in like, probably two years…"
Then it clicked, and he raged at Teruteru as his maybe-boyfriend dodged his half-hearted blows and giggled as he set the table.
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The evening passed as it typically did, with the addition of Teruteru scolding Kazuichi for forgetting to clean up the breakfast dishes. Still, he didn't seem too upset, especially when he learned that the reason Kazuichi had forgotten was that he'd spent most of the day idly stuffing his face.
"It's a pity your clothes shrunk in the wash," Teruteru said, lightly bopping Kazuichi's nose as he refilled Kazuichi's plate with pork dumplings for the third time. "You're growing out of them fast enough as it is."
Kazuichi huffed and tried to pull his shirt all the way down, but it was no good. It kept riding up a good few inches no matter what. He settled for pushing it up to his chest, so at least it looked like he was wearing a crop top on purpose.
"Just feed me the dumb gyoza already," he mumbled, straining his neck forward. Teruteru held a dumpling just out of reach, a devious smirk playing over his face.
"And what do we say?" He raised it to Kazuichi's lips, then pulled back at the last second. "You have dreadful manners, you know."
Kazuichi groaned and pulled his beanie down over his eyes. It was so soft now that it was clean. He kept pulling it down so he could feel it brush against his face.
"Jerk," he groaned. "Fine…feed me the dumb gyoza, please ."
Teruteru made a noncommittal noise. "That'll do for now, I suppose. But we really must do something about your attitude problem."
He smiled up through half-lidded eyes, and Kazuichi felt a bit like the floor had dropped out from under him.
"I-I don't have an attitude problem – mmph!" Teruteru shoved the dumpling in his mouth, and all Kazuichi could do was stare at him with a mixture of frustration, fear, and delight.
Teruteru spent the next hour proving to Kazuichi exactly how much of an attitude problem he had. They spent the hour after that snuggled up together in bed, Teruteru soothing Kazuichi's upset stomach while Kazuichi mumbled stupid things into Teruteru's hair.
He was so full and sleepy that everything felt like a hazy dream, which was how he preferred it. If he was being honest with himself, that was why he'd eaten so much during the day, too. A full stomach meant he was safe; that Teruteru was there to take care of him, even if he wouldn't be back for a few more hours. It also slowed down his brain. It was hard to panic once he was in a food coma.
Plus, he could always count on a good night's sleep after a stuffing, which wasn't something he'd ever counted on before in his life. As he drifted off that night, a profound sense of relief washed over him. Sure, maybe nothing made sense right now, and maybe Teruteru wasn't who he'd spent two and a half years pretending to be, and maybe he'd be laughed out of school the second he showed his face in public again, but as long as he was here, he didn't have to worry about any of that. Nothing could touch him so long as he lay in Teruteru's arms.
Then around one a.m., he woke up.
He had to piss. That wasn't so unusual. What was unusual, as he fumbled for his glasses and shuffled into the bathroom, was that he was wide fucking awake.
The bathroom light hurt his eyes. He squinted at himself in the mirror and pulled a face.
"I can't believe Teruteru likes these stupid glasses," he muttered, and the bathroom light buzzed just a little bit louder.
He went back to bed, but he wasn't tired at all. Usually when he woke up in Teruteru's bed in the middle of the night, he could barely keep his eyes open long enough to make it to the toilet and back, but not this time. Every time he shut his eyes, they sprung back open on their own in a matter of seconds.
He rolled over a few times, then tried snuggling up to Teruteru, who had rolled over with his back to him. Teruteru sighed and relaxed into his arms, and Kazuichi rested his chin in Teruteru's hair. A few strands brushed his lips, and he started chewing on them without really thinking about it.
Kazuichi's stomach made a strange noise. He winced and pressed a little closer to Teruteru, but it didn't help. A sharp ache was setting in, the kind he didn't usually get until morning.
"Fuck this," he whispered, and slowly inched back from Teruteru, doing his best not to wake him.
He sat on the edge of the bed, holding his stomach, and stared at the digital clock. It wasn't even two. The hell was he supposed to do now? If he'd been in his own room, he would have gotten up, switched on his work light, and started tinkering, but it wasn't like he could do that here.
Shielding his phone flashlight with his hand, he rummaged around in the bedside table drawer for the bag of ginger chews and popped one in his mouth. After a moment's deliberation, he took a Pepto-Bismol as well, then lay down and made faces as the ginger and cherry flavors clashed in his mouth.
After what felt like hours of staring at nothing, he turned back to the clock. It hadn't even been five minutes.
He let out a strangled groan and draped his arm over his face. Beside him, Teruteru shifted and mumbled something, and Kazuichi froze until he'd gone quiet again.
Another five minutes crawled by. He was wider awake than he'd been in weeks. It was like he was tuned into even the tiniest noises: Teruteru's steady breathing, the occasional rustle as he shifted in his sleep, the electric buzz from the digital clock, the hum of the refrigerator. Quiet gurgles from his stomach. The raspy sound of his own breath. His heartbeat thrumming in his ears.
He would have taken a full day in an ear-splitting hangar rather than put up with this. Once his heartbeat started pulsing in his stomach and then, worst of all, in one of his eyelids, he cursed under his breath and got up to fumble around in his duffle bag for a Coke.
That turned out to be the final nail in his coffin. Once the caffeine and sugar hit his system, he was up for good, and there was nothing to do but sulk in the shadows until morning. He ended up crawling inside Teruteru's closet so he could look through the photo albums again, chewing on the lip of his Coke bottle and wondering what it would have been like to grow up in a cheery little diner in the country instead of a failing inner-city bike shop.
He didn't even realize it was morning until the closet door swung open and a ray of light cut under the rows of identical chef's uniforms. He squawked and dropped the photo album as Teruteru parted the clothes and stared incredulously at him.
"Back in the closet so soon?" he asked, reaching out a hand to help Kazuichi up. Kazuichi ignored it in favor of jerking his beanie over his eyes and quickly dumping the photo album back into the box. Teruteru leaned farther in and picked it up with an odd look on his face. "What on earth were you looking at this for?"
"It's – nothing. No reason." Kazuichi sniffed and pushed past him. His eyes hurt and he was getting a migraine. "Woke up, couldn't sleep. That's all. Don't read into it."
"So this is what clued you in," Teruteru said, flipping through the album. He worried his lip. "I did wonder what exactly you found…"
With a jolt, Kazuichi remembered that was the album he'd stolen the final photo from. He snatched it out of Teruteru's hand, snapped it shut, and closed it back in the box as fast as he could. Teruteru cried out in protest as Kazuichi pulled him out of the closet and shut the door.
"The hell has gotten into you?" he asked, smoothing his pajamas. Kazuichi crossed his arms and looked away, biting down on his lip to stop it from trembling and betraying him. Dammit, he didn't even know why his throat hurt like this!
"Nothing," he snapped. "I'm fine. I'm just – I hate it when I can't sleep. It fucks with me."
He stalked into the bathroom before Teruteru could say anything else, slumped forward over the counter, and pressed his fingers into his eyes until he saw spots.
"Maybe if I'd grown up different I wouldn't get these stupid panic attacks," he growled, swallowing back the lumps that kept rising into his throat. He was still too wide awake. His shirt clung to his torso and his underwear was too tight and he could even feel the air touching his skin, and his eyes and throat hurt, and he still had a pulse in his goddamn eyelid.
In the end, he crawled back into bed and held the pillow over his head, trying to ignore Teruteru as he talked about nothing while he made breakfast. Apparently it was Thursday. Apparently he'd be stuck in here alone all day while Teruteru went to class.
What am I doing here? A voice screamed inside his head. It felt like he'd snapped awake after a month or more of wandering around in some kind of walking coma. Why was he in Teruteru's room? Why didn't his clothes fit? Why wasn't he tinkering in his room, or in the shop, or in the hangar? Why was he gay , for crying out loud? Why was he gay for Teruteru freaking Hanamura?
Maybe it's actually still summer and I'm gonna wake up in my room soon and everything's gonna go back to normal, he thought desperately, but if this was a dream, it was the most goddamn lucid one he'd ever had.
The day passed painfully slowly. Teruteru left mid-afternoon to work in the dining hall, and Kazuichi blew through the rest of his Cokes while he watched stupid videos on his phone. Evening passed with dinner, sex, and cuddling, and Kazuichi thought everything might be okay after all – and then he couldn't sleep again .
This time he didn't even have Coke to comfort himself with. He ended up turning on the bathroom light just so he had somewhere to pace. Around three a.m., he had the bright idea to disassemble the music box again, and by the time Teruteru woke up, he'd disassembled and reassembled the thing four or five times.
"What's gotten into you?" Teruteru asked, a little shortly, as Kazuichi slammed the closet door shut before he could see what he'd been doing in there.
"Nothing," Kazuichi said. He rubbed his eyes and grit his teeth against a yawn. "Up all night again, that's all. Same bullshit happened before we started…b-before all this. I thought the stuffing shit fixed it, but guess not."
He stalked into the bathroom again to have a short cry in private. When he came out, Teruteru had brewed a tea that he promised would put Kazuichi back to sleep. It did, for about three hours, and when he woke up around noon, Teruteru was gone.
"Is he seriously that sick of me?" Kazuichi whined to the clock, which happily glowed FRI in the upper right corner. "The least he could do is say good-bye!"
He knew he was being ridiculous. It was crazy enough that Teruteru was letting him stay here at all. Thinking about that only made him feel worse.
Disassembling and reassembling the music box didn't help anymore. He knew the damn thing inside and out. So he raided the fridge instead, and when Teruteru came back that evening, he found Kazuichi slumped against the foot of the bed, shirt pushed up over a massively swollen stomach, crumbs and empty dishes everywhere.
"For the love of Pete," Teruteru laughed, rushing over to put his hands on Kazuichi's stomach faster than Kazuichi had ever seen him move before. "Did you eat everything in the house?"
Kazuichi hiccuped. He felt equal parts pissed off and gratified. "This isn't a – hic! – house," he grumbled, trying and failing to push himself up straighter against the bed. "It's a fucking dorm – hic! – dorm room."
But Teruteru was already drooling over him, massaging the cramps out of his stomach, and gazing at Kazuichi with such undivided attention that Kazuichi instantly forgave him for ditching him most of the day. He belched and relaxed into Teruteru's hands.
"I just… hic!... I wanted to see if I could," he groaned. "S-so yeah, the fridge is – hic! – empty…"
Teruteru hummed and dug his fingers deeper into Kazuichi's belly, prompting a long burp. Then he leaned in and started kissing his neck, and Kazuichi moaned between sharp hiccups and increasingly deep belches.
"Gosh, you're such a glutton," Teruteru gloated, kissing Kazuichi on the lips. "You really couldn't help yourself, could you?"
Kazuichi whimpered. "Fuck you. There – hic! – there's not anything else to – hic! – do!"
"I can think of something," Teruteru murmured, and dipped his hand inside Kazuichi's pants as he sucked hard on his collarbone.
Despite being stuffed to the brim, Kazuichi managed to eat a little of the dinner Teruteru had brought back for him, and he drank a cup of tea on top of that. As he sat down on the edge of the bed that night, leaning on Teruteru for assistance, he hiccuped so hard that the following burp nearly made him throw up.
Teruteru looked at him in alarm and eased him down into bed, gently rubbing his stomach as he lay down. "Easy there," he murmured as Kazuichi groaned. "Are you all right? I thought we cured your hiccups with the last round."
"Guess – hic! " Kazuichi pressed his hand against his mouth. "Guess not. Ugh, I feel like a blimp…"
"Shhh." Teruteru brushed Kazuichi's hair back, and suddenly making himself sick to his stomach had never felt so worth it. Kazuichi strained his head up, relaxing all over when Teruteru met him with a kiss. "I suppose we overdid it. We'll be more careful tomorrow."
"Tomorrow…" Kazuichi repeated, snuggling closer. He hiccuped again and sighed as Teruteru shushed him and massaged his belly.
"At least you should sleep well tonight," Teruteru whispered as Kazuichi's eyes grew heavier and heavier. "I'm going to stay up a little longer and watch over you, just to make sure you're alright. Go to sleep, okay?"
Kazuichi whimpered a little and nodded, pushing his face into Teruteru's hair. There was no reason why hearing Teruteru promise to watch over him should have made his throat close up the way it did, but he snuggled closer and held Teruteru close until he fell asleep.
On Saturday he woke up at half past four, stumbled into the bathroom, and was violently ill.
He brushed his teeth and vowed not to tell Teruteru about it, but he seemed to know something was up anyway, the way he kept throwing worried glances at Kazuichi while he made breakfast.
"You sure you're all right for me to head out?" he asked for the third time as he finished feeding Kazuichi miso soup in bed. Apparently there was something he'd promised to help with in the kitchens today, even though it was Saturday. Even though Kazuichi had been looking forward to spending the day not alone, finally. Kazuichi scowled and looked away.
"Yeah, I already said. Jeez." He burped into his fist and lay back down as Teruteru got off the bed, still giving him that stupid worried look. "Fuck. What am I supposed to do? My jumpsuit's busted so I can't go to shop, and…and we never even ordered that stupid uniform or anything!"
Teruteru averted his eyes. Kazuichi hadn't mentioned the uniform on purpose up til now, since going to class wasn't something he wanted to think about, and he'd assumed Teruteru had forgotten. Maybe he hadn't.
Now that Kazuichi was so stir-crazy that even going to class sounded better than being locked up for another day, that was a little bit of a problem. Even if it was a fucking Saturday.
"We…we can do that later today, when I get back," Teruteru said, smoothing back his hair. "We already took your measurements, didn't we?"
Kazuichi groaned and pulled Teruteru's pillow on top of his face. "Yeah, but…ugh, I got rid of them back when I had that crazy panic attack. You know, the – the one when I broke those dishes and everything."
"I recall," Teruteru said, absently rubbing Kazuichi's hand. Kazuichi softened a little.
"I thought I should probably say which one," he mumbled, "in case you forgot."
"You do have a lot of them," Teruteru said, shooting Kazuichi another worried glance which he just managed to see from under the pillow. He pushed his face back into blissful fluffy ignorance.
"Shut up," he mumbled. "I guess we should take 'em again, but…shit. I'm bloated. I'm always fucking bloated."
Teruteru hummed. "I guess that'll ensure accurate measurements, then," he said, and laughed when Kazuichi swatted the pillow at him. "We'll take them tonight, alright? Before I stuff you. If you're up to that, I mean."
Kazuichi did not feel up to that at all, but he also couldn't resist the prospect of Teruteru rushing over to him with lust written all over his face, his attention locked on Kazuichi and only Kazuichi. It made up for all the hours he had to spend here by himself. It made up for all the years he'd spent by himself. And it was the only thing keeping him going.
He pushed the thought away. It was making him depressed.
"Course I'm up to it," he said into the pillow. He stifled a burp. "I always am."
"And that's what concerns me," Teruteru quipped, but Kazuichi didn't miss the eagerness in his voice. "In the meantime, I don't see anything wrong with you holing up here for a couple days. Everyone needs a vacation now and then. Besides, you know certain things now, and I…"
He trailed off. Kazuichi's heart sank.
He peered out from under the pillow. Teruteru was biting his lip. "Is this about, like, your family diner thing?" he asked.
"Well, I –" Teruteru shook his head. "Never mind. I shouldn't have mentioned it."
"What, you – you don't think I can keep your secret?" Kazuichi said. It less of a question and more of a statement.
"Well –" Teruteru coughed. "I mean, based on recent events…"
"Shut up." Kazuichi pulled his hand away and turned on his side, clutching the pillow to his chest. "Whatever. It's not like I blame you."
Teruteru put his hand on Kazuichi's shoulder. "Look, it's…we'll figure something out. I can't keep you locked in here forever," he added with a nervous chuckle.
Kazuichi jerked away. "Yeah, well, maybe you should," he snapped. "Soon as I get out of here, everyone's gonna know about you, and about me, and about…you and me, and…"
Silence. Kazuichi curled up a little tighter around the pillow. He badly wished Teruteru would crawl over him, kiss his neck and tell him everything was going to be alright, but why would he? He was living with a walking time bomb.
Teruteru cleared his throat. "At least there's no hurry," he said. His cheerful tone sounded a bit forced. Kazuichi wished he would drop it. "It's the weekend, after all, so we have time."
"It sure as fuck is," Kazuichi muttered, burying his face in the pillow.
Rain pattered against the window. Teruteru touched his arm. "I told you, I can stay if you want –"
"And I told you it doesn't matter!" Kazuichi snapped, yanking his arm away. "Stop dragging it out and just leave already."
Another pause. "Fine," Teruteru said icily. "I suppose if you're that desperate for something to do, you might as well clean while I'm out. I don't need to do everything around here."
Kazuichi rolled over and glared at him. It was hard to read his expression, since Kazuichi wasn't wearing his glasses. He was just a vaguely pissed off blob. "Will you just freaking go?!"
Teruteru left.
Kazuichi realized too late that he'd never asked when he was coming back. He punched the pillow and screamed into it, then sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Piece of shit," he said miserably, but he wasn't sure whether he was talking about Teruteru or himself.
The rain outside turned into a downpour, which felt about right. Once his stomach settled a little, Kazuichi went over and closed the curtains, but that just depressed him more. He took an antacid, put in his earbuds, and tried to disassemble and reassemble the music box again, but it was so boring that it physically hurt to keep working on it. He was only able to make himself put it back together out of the fear of what Teruteru would say if he walked in to find it half-gutted.
He decided not to clean out of spite. Besides, he was pretty sure if he tried he'd do it wrong, and if Teruteru was gonna yell at him, at least it didn't have to be because he was incompetent.
Mid-morning, he tried to eat a little of the leftover udon soup from yesterday, but the texture felt wrong cold, and he still didn't trust himself to try warming it up on Teruteru's stove, so he put it back. He paced until his stomach hurt, watched stupid videos until he started getting a migraine, and even resorted to methodically biting his nails down, the way he did as a kid before he found out nail cutters existed.
"Fuck this," he snapped around noon. "I'm going to my own room for a while. At least I can work on my stupid engine."
He poked his head out the door to double-check that the hall was empty, then scurried to his own room. He jerked on the handle. It wouldn't budge.
"Goddammit," he huffed, rifling through his pockets. "Where the fuck are my keys?"
With a jolt, he remembered that his keys were in his jumpsuit, and obviously, he wasn't wearing that. (And that itself felt wrong. When had he started moping around in loungewear all the time like this?!)
So back to Teruteru's room he went. He grabbed them off the desk Teruteru had set them on, neatly folded, shoved his hand in the right pants pocket (the top one) – and nothing. It took searching through every one of the multiple pockets before he realized that of course the keys weren't there; Teruteru emptied his pockets before he put his jumpsuit in the wash.
"Where'd he put that freaking bag?" Kazuichi muttered under his breath. He found it a few minutes later, partially kicked under the bed, and huffed a sigh of relief as he dug through his pocket tools, various screws and bolts, and mismatched pieces of metal.
That relief was short-lived. His ring of keys was nowhere in sight.
"What the – what the hell, man?" He'd rifled through the bag three times, dumped it out on the floor, and was now shoving his tools around in piles as if his keys would magically appear among them. "I had them in here, I know I did! Fuck, if he – if he missed them and they fell out in the stupid washing machine…dammit, I need those!"
It wasn't just his room key, either. That ring of keys let him into the auto shop, the hangar, multiple limited-access closets and electrical panels…
He jumped up and pulled his beanie off so he could rake his fingers through his hair. Just to be safe, he shook out his jumpsuit again. No good, plus he found out that Teruteru had torn off the flex tape he'd used to fix the hole he'd torn several days ago, so now there was a big gaping tear along the ass, and he was positive going through the wash had only made it bigger.
"And the tape I need to fix it again is in my room." He jumped up and started pacing again. "So, so, what, am I just stuck? What am I supposed to do?"
Technically, he could pick his own lock. But he happened to know, thanks to a misadventure with Teruteru in their first year that he tried not to think about, that picking dorm locks triggered an alarm, and in order to disarm said alarm, he'd have to sneak all the way down to the main electrical closet inside security on the first floor, and to get into that, he needed his goddamn fucking key ring.
"What happens if you pick the lock to the don't-pick-the-lock system?" He was ranting to himself now, tongue tripping over the words as it tried to keep pace with his thoughts. "What am I supposed to do, sneak past security while I'm like this? Or with my ass hanging out of my jumpsuit? Like...fuck!"
He tried his jumpsuit on just to see if the tear was as bad as he remembered. It was. Either his jumpsuit shrunk in the wash again or his butt was a lot bigger than it used to be, and that meant the hole provided a nice view of his boxers no matter what.
He spent the next several minutes buzzing around the room, checking the floor in the vain hope that maybe the key ring fell out somewhere before Teruteru did the wash, but nothing.
It only got worse when he dropped to a squat to search under the bed and heard a loud rip at the same time a cool breeze kissed his left ass cheek.
"Jesus – why?! " he yelped as he jumped up, hand flying to his ass. "Shit, why'd it have to keep ripping? Goddammit!"
He struggled out of his jumpsuit as fast as he could, like it would tear faster the longer it touched him. (It actually tore a little more thanks to how frantically he yanked on it.) And it got worse. His backside still felt breezy, and he reached his hand around to discover he'd split his boxers up the back.
The next minute was spent raging at the universe, red in the face and bare from the waist down. The subsequent five minutes were spent in tears.
"None of this would've happened if I had my dumb keys!" He sniffed hard, then stopped in his tracks as a shadow passed over his face. "Did – did he take them on purpose? Did he hide them?!"
But throwing open all the drawers and cabinets revealed nothing, and he was too afraid of a repeat music box situation to dive much deeper.
"I don't think – nah, he wouldn't. I mean, he'd – he'd be stuck with me then, and who wants to…" He jerked open the fridge and wiped his nose on the back of his hand. "But I bet he'd like it, locking me in here so I can't do anything except sit around and get fat." It almost didn't sound like a horrible idea, except for the part where he'd have to re-enter society at some point…if only so he could find a stupid machine to tear apart. "I bet he's gonna think it's really great, coming back tonight to find out I busted out of my underwear. Fuck, what's wrong with me?"
He couldn't even comfort himself like he usually did by imagining Teruteru throwing himself at him tonight. Part of him couldn't wait (read: his dick), but the other part of him, the part that had just shot awake after over a month of being lost in a thick brain fog, screamed that he could wait, and he should wait, and everything needed to go back to normal now , or he was gonna throw himself off a cliff.
The next twenty minutes were spent commando in his sweatpants forcing himself to eat cold udon soup (because what was he gonna do, make things worse?!) He set it aside when he started feeling too sick to ignore, and he buried his head in his hands.
"Fuck. I gotta disassemble something, like, now."
In the end he picked a handheld mixer, which seemed hopefully not too expensive and also easy to shove under the bed if things went wrong. It turned out to be depressingly easy to wrap his head around. He shot off a text to Teruteru as soon as he'd finished with it ( "where are my keys???" ), but after five minutes of pacing with no response, he started digging through Teruteru's appliances again. Most of them were upsettingly simple. How the heck was anyone supposed to have any fun with a whisk or a wooden spoon or a rolling pin?
At least the stand mixer provided a decent challenge. An hour passed while he disassembled it, and the next two slipped past even faster as he tried again and again to put it back together. By two o'clock he was in a bit of a panic, and when his phone buzzed, he nearly broke his neck scrambling across the room to grab it from where he'd dropped it on the floor.
It wasn't Teruteru. That text was still unanswered, even though it had been sitting there all day. On a Saturday. When he didn't even have class to go to. It made Kazuichi want to punch something.
Instead it was Ibuki. Again. He thought she'd given up on him by now.
Ibuki: yoooooooooooooooooooo 👿
Ibuki: hey are u ignoring me or what?
Kazuichi stared, swallowing back the rising frustration in his throat. He rested his forehead against his hand and grabbed hold of his bangs, like he'd be able to hold himself together from the outside, and scooted across the floor so he could slump back against Teruteru's counter cabinets, surrounded by a mess of screws, tools, and what-once-was-a-stand-mixer on all sides.
"Goddammit, this is so stupid," he muttered, pushing his glasses up to rub his eyes. "She's not gonna stop, is she? She's just gonna keep pushing and pushing until I break…I mean, if she wants to blackmail me…well, she might as well! Just look at me! How the hell can this get any worse?"
Kazuichi: no fuck off! what do you want???
He regretted it instantly. That was stupid. That was mean. That meant they were actually gonna talk now, and he didn't know if he could take that.
Ibuki: AAA your alive!!!!!!!!!!! 😱 dont be rude just wanna know if ur ok
Kazuichi: of course i'm ok
Kazuichi: i didn't mean to be rude i'm just stressed tf out
Kazuichi: but like not about anything important or anything!!
Kazuichi: i just couldnt sleep last night and it fucked with me so im not thinking straight
Ibuki: 👀
Kazuichi: STOP
He glanced around him at the scattered metal pieces on the floor, the breakfast dishes in the sink, the half-eaten bowl of soup on the table, his torn boxers and jumpsuit crumpled in a heap at the foot of the bed with his beanie laying abandoned nearby, and his hands started to shake.
Ibuki: wait so where have you been??? Ibuki hasn't seen you since you-know-what 😬
Kazuichi flushed. He curled up a little tighter as tears started pooling in the corners of his eyes.
Kazuichi: shut up! inmy room not like i can go to class anyway u saw what happened
Kazuichi: broke my fucking stupid jumpsuit to
Kazuichi: and i lost my stupid keys so i cant even go to shop
Kazuichi: im a fucking disaster
A sharp laugh broke out of him, startling him so much that he jumped and nearly dropped his phone. He pushed up his glasses and swiped tears off his face, alternately sniffling and giggling. He didn't even know why; everything just suddenly seemed absurd.
Kazuichi: and i think i'm going crazy?
Kazuichi: im trapped in here im stuck
Kazuichi: and im broke so it's not like i can buy new clothes
Kazuichi: and i broke my jumpsuit so it's not like i can make more money
Kazuichi: so ig im in here forever
Kazuichi: fine by me i dont want anyone to see me like this anyway
Ibuki: 😱
It was such a compact response that Kazuichi coughed out a laugh again. He wiped his face on his shoulder as he rushed to reply. He was as bad texting as he was talking; once he started it was like the words just fell out of him. No wonder people thought he was annoying.
Kazuichi: what do you mean 😱????!!!!!!
Kazuichi: anyway what do you want, why do u keep trying to talk to me
Kazuichi: if it's freaking blackmail dont do it i'll get revenge i'll build a bomb or smth
Kazuichi: not really
Kazuichi: but dont do it!!! i'd seriously die
Ibuki: huh???? why would i try to blackmail you??????? that's so rude! 👿
Kazuichi: well why would u keep trying to talk to me otherwise???
Ibuki: because??? i'm worried??? about you????
Ibuki: you seem like ur in crisis 😶
Kazuichi stared at the messages, then around at his surroundings again, then back at his phone. His hands still shook a little. Crisis might be a word for it.
Kazuichi: no im fine!!
Kazuichi: this term is weird as hell tho
Kazuichi: i don't really know how i got here
Kazuichi: i just keep having these stupid breakdowns or whatever and i think i hallucinated the other day
Kazuichi: but i'm ok hahaha
Ibuki: ummmmmm that sounds very not ok actually
Kazuichi wiped his nose on the back of his hand and sniffed hard. He was at the "taking deep breaths" stage of definitely-going-to-have-another-panic-attack, and it wasn't helping much. At least talking to Ibuki was dissolving the lump of ice in his chest, at the cost of having it all flood out through his eyes and nose.
Kazuichi: shut up it's fine
Kazuichi: this shit happened ever since i was a kid i can deal with it
Kazuichi: except like
Kazuichi: now its happening ALL THE TIME haha and i'm sick of it
Ibuki: oh nooooooo 😖
Kazuichi: don't 😖 me
It was getting hard to text now thanks to the tears in his eyes blurring everything together. They welled up as fast as he could wipe them away, and whenever he stopped wiping his face to send off another text, they spilled down his cheeks and dripped all over his shirt. One fell splat onto the screen of his phone, and he accidentally sent Ibuki a keysmash as he tried to wipe it away. He thought of Teruteru scolding him for being overdramatic and coughed out a giggle that turned into a sob.
By this point he'd had so many panic attacks that he felt kind of detached from the whole thing. It didn't stop him from gasping for breath, but at least it numbed the typical paralyzing fear into a sort of nauseous cold sweat.
Kazuichi: anyway i'm fine don't worry about me
Ibuki: think i'm gonna worry anyway, you can't tell me what to do! 😤
Kazuichi: fuck off
Ibuki: imma come over there
Kazuichi: good luck with that i'm not in my room
Ibuki: oh wait r u with teruteru?
Kazuichi: no he left me by myself
Kazuichi: just trapped in here
Kazuichi: alone
Kazuichi: on a freaking Saturday too like wtf
Kazuichi: anyway forget any of this happened just delete this conversation or smth i don't care sorry i said all that stupid shit
Ibuki: no 👿
Kazuichi: the hell do u mean "no"????
Several seconds passed and Ibuki did not respond. Kazuichi sent off several more half-hearted demands, but nothing. Maybe he'd scared her off for good. The thought sent a sour taste all down his throat and he choked on a sob.
"So freaking stupid," he muttered, pulling up his shirt to wipe his face with it. He took a long, shaky breath and thunked his head against the counter cabinet. White spots danced around the edges of his vision and he grit his teeth as the migraine that had been building up finally took over.
When he couldn't stand it any longer, he forced himself to stand up and stumbled into Teruteru's bathroom, knocking over pretty much everything in his search for painkillers. He swallowed two of them and leaned over the sink, wondering whether or not he was going to throw up again, when the doorbell rang.
He froze. Then his phone buzzed in his pocket.
Ibuki: lemme in!!! 😤😤😤
"Shit," he whispered, and he stumbled into the bedroom. "Shit. Fuck! She can't –" The phone slipped out of his hand and fell hard on his foot. He jumped on one foot, cursing, until he lost his balance and stumbled into the wall.
The doorbell rang again. Spitting curses, he dragged himself into the bedroom, stopping to kick his ruined boxers under the bed before he limped to the door. Then he doubled back, scooped his beanie off the floor, and jammed it on his head as the doorbell rang a third time.
"All right already!" he snapped, opening the door a crack. Ibuki stood there holding some kind of small plastic basket, arms crossed, a determined frown on her face.
"You can't be here," Kazuichi hissed, trying to get a look at the hallway behind her. A stab of pain shot through his skull and he winced. "Someone could see you!"
"Hmm, better let me in, then," said Ibuki, pushing the door open. Kazuichi tightened his grip and pushed back.
"No! No, you can't – I-I don't need – I'm fine!"
"Nuh-uh!" Ibuki leaned her whole weight into the door, which wasn't much, but it was enough to startle him. "Kazuichi is definitely not fine. Plus also, Ibuki has been trying to talk to him all week , and she's not going away now. Plus also , she has a deal for him. So let me in!"
Kazuichi wanted to cry. (Again.) He was still wearing his glasses, his T-shirt barely fit, he was commando in his stupid sweatpants, and his nose was so stuffed up from crying that everything he said sounded like freaking Squidward.
But what else was he supposed to do? Stand here like an idiot until someone like Mahiru or Hiyoko – or, God forbid, Nagito – walked by and questioned him?
"Fine!" he snapped. He jerked open the door, standing behind it. "Get in here, then. Jeez…" He shut the door behind her and leaned against it, folding his arms over his stomach. "What the hell? What – what do you want?"
Ibuki trotted into the center of the room, looking around at the unmade bed, clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink, and the clutter of metal pieces and tools scattered about the kitchenette.
"Huh? It's obvious, right?" she said, turning to stare at him. He curled in on himself and swallowed hard, shrinking against the wall. "I'm breaking you out of here!"
