ThatQuirkyChanel

An uncanny damsel

[thatquirkychanel]

Antiquarian

Dust veils the words I once caressed 

Set aside in a box, forgotten

Pages filled with my little notes 

Borges. Neruda. Charles Bukowski.

My midnight companions exiled

They are no longer on my nightstand

A corner left for the remnants of me

My old books stacked with the books showcasing my smile

I got my dream, they say

Should I thank you?

Should I forgive you?

Didn’t I ask for this?

The scent of vanillin 

Always carries me away

Bookstores were my solace

Is that why I could not fathom 

Who you were?

Hey, you

Was I just a rare edition to you?

You restored my binding

You thought you were putting the right strength 

When you hammered me

You claimed I am as good as a new

Yet, I am still me on the inside

Trapped in this new cover

In a glass cage

Who could I blame now? 

I walked back in

Every book needs a final act

Even if it is a tragedy

Was it my fault?

I knew in my heart

You,

You were the right one

My saviour

In the end, I became the damsel in distress

Silenced

Tucked in a dusty shelf of your fantasy

-Giah

[thatquirkychanel]

One Word

You are

Drug to my body

Peace to my mind

Salvation to my soul

~ G

[thatquirkychanel]

In the name of salvation, I was in hell.

~ G

[thatquirkychanel]

When they look at my wrists

They don’t see the pain I went through

Just the scars

~ G

[thatquirkychanel]

Gonna start posting again!

[thatquirkychanel]

M ❤️

[thatquirkychanel]

How to stop thinking about someone who puts your thoughts to rest?

Giah

[thatquirkychanel]

I woke up to the sound of wind chimes hanging over the curtains by the windows. It was early in the morning with light peaking through the gaps of my curtains. I turned around to look at him only to find his side of the bed empty. I kept my feet on the cold floor and started walking towards the door. It seemed like I had never been in this house before but it felt like it was familiar, like it was mine. I knew the ways to turn to the hall and then to the kitchen. I took the morning’s fresh air in as my feet turned to the backyard. I opened the glass door to a big garden ahead. Behind the walls of the house resided a huge forest. I walked on the still moist grass from the night before and tried to touch the fog still surrounding me. It was a peace I had never even imagined could feel like. I wanted to be there even if it meant being stuck there for the rest of my life. I touched the new blooming flowers covered with water droplets when I heard someone’s voice from inside the house. Someone walked towards me and covered me in grey shawl. “You’ll catch cold” the voice had said. I didn’t turn back to see who it was. I knew him and I knew I was safe around him. He held me from behind and I smiled ear to ear feeling the same peace that the place had given me.

“Come, breakfast is ready” With these words we started walking in when I stopped to look behind again. “You go, I’ll come in a minute.” He went inside and disappeared from my sight. I wanted to look at greens again. It felt like I won’t get to be here after few moments. I heard a woman’s voice and it surprised me but it felt familiar too. I walked towards the voice and reached our breakfast table. The woman had a smile on her face when she hugged me and pulled out the chair for me. I didn’t know her but somewhere I knew who she was. She smelled sweet and felt so warm that I wanted to hold on to her more. I realised she was his mother. She was exactly like how mothers are said to be. I looked at him and he smiled at me. She started serving us breakfast when we went back to our teasing games. Roasting each other is what we do everyday.

To which the lady looked at me and said,”say this to his face looking into his eyes. You don’t need to be afraid of him.” We laughed and it turned into a warm funny conversation I have had in ages with my family. In that moment I realised it’s too good to be real and I knew this guy in my real life. He had a name and I was with him. It was a morning dream. I didn’t want to leave the place with beautiful white curtains flowing at every window of the house. The big rooms with white floors. The foggy garden covered with woods around. The boy and his mom. I was already nostalgic of a place I had never visited. I woke up and told him about my dream and before he could react, I realised it was another dream and that I was in my own room dreaming about dreaming next to him. I got up and quickly jotted down all the scenes and what I felt in points to fair out later. They all say I have a strange mind and vivid imagination. I look at things and perceive differently than other people. In my head, he had no name or label but I knew him and how he makes me feel. That’s probably one of the reasons how I know I’m unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. -Giah

[thatquirkychanel]

My Demise

Staining this page

With words I'd rather not say

In hush tones

The games we play

I walk in between the lines

Who are we to define

With you

I'm in a dream

With blurry images

Just you standing there clear as ever

I stop counting

Hands of the clock vanish

As I feel your breath

Touching my skin

Burning me down

With desire in my veins

I loose my balance

But, you hold me again

Not to devour

You save me

Don't you know that pushes me more to you?

Do you have any clue?

What you do to me?

What I'd rather let you do?

With one touch

I'm intoxicated

You're the drug I'd rather not take

For I know i wouldn't make another day

With you not running in my bloodstream

You make me dance on your own rhythm

I have no control over

Then you step back

Leaving me out of breath

Asking me if I'd let you walk away

Missing your warmth around me

A single word I say

Stay

And you move your feet

Demand me to say it again

I whisper the word until I'm in your arms

Shielded from the world

I look into your eyes

And I know this will be my demise

-Giah

[thatquirkychanel]

To,

His ex,

I had a lot of things to make you acquaint with but I got stuck on where to start. I've heard so much about you. It feels like somewhere, I do know you now. Yes, I am aware of how beautiful you are and how you made him feel content at some point too. I won't lie about how I feel. I mean that's the whole point of writing, yeah? I envy you for having him. The innocent and vulnerable boy with immense love to give. You got to experience his unbiased love and affection. I, on the other hand met a man who is strong but reluctant to open his heart to anyone. Thankyou for making him so goal driven and focused. Thankyou for making him a better person. But, I can't look past how you broke him in all of this too. I can't close my eyes to how he had to go through the pain to be what he is now. It's not about me. You ruined him for any girl who is going to knock at his door only to have him lock them more. Luckily, I know what it means to walk in his shoes because I was hurt too. I understand because I have left a huge note on my doorstep about my absence. I'd rather lock myself than have someone else push me out or make me leave. We both carry the fear. So, you don't have to worry about me. I really hope he finds someone worthy for him to give himself. I still can't seem to understand how could you let a guy like him go? Then, I think maybe it's not about you. I think it happened because he deserves better. He deserves someone who'd love him more than he did love you. Someone who tells him everyday how incredible he is and how much he is cherished. He will find that someone. Maybe tomorrow or maybe in two or three years but he will. You will regret it that day. I have nothing more to add now. I hope you're doing fine in your life and I hope to never see you.

Regards,

G

[thatquirkychanel]

Reverie

I lay on the grass watching the sky

I'll close my eyes till the time you're gone.

Turn blue and pink as I smile

My miscalculated prediction about the weather

I brought my scarf, however

I chose a yellow sundress

Reflecting the light

Hitting my face as I open my eyes

To your fingers touching mine

Gently making circles around my wrists

You talk about how you love risks

And I realize it's going to rain

When you take a name

I hold your hand to leave it again

Your eyes

Your beautiful eyes pull me next to you

And I find myself struggling with the threads binding me like glue

You touch me

And the threads change into vines

With little flowers making me blind

You remind me how I love flowers

How you love them on me

I realize why I chose a sundress

So, you could see

Scarf won't save me from the storm

I should have known

Neither will your blazer

It will burden my shoulders

As it soaks up the water

Her name on the sleeve adds up to the weight

The rules I violate

Shutting my eyes to her presence

I told you that my calculations are bad

Look where they make me stand

In a wrong place

In a wrong dress

In a wrong time

But, don't worry

I'll fix the distance

You're not someone to be mine

I'll wait for the sun to come and shine

I will lay on the grass again but alone

I'll shut my eyes till the time you're gone.

-Giah

[thatquirkychanel]

Three Days

29 March, 2018 5.23 AM

Three days ago, you were fighting with me about bringing down my walls. You were arguing about how quick I lock all the doors. Three days ago, you were telling me how you got hurt when I pushed you out. How we still need to talk about our mistakes. I always say it's never too late but that night, I said it was too late. You told me, you'd never let anyone take my place. You told me no one can bring us apart even when you are not next to me. You told me you need to hear me in three days. Three days is the longest you go without hearing me. I let your words slide because I am not an option. I don't want you to choose me if you have to make a choice at all.

-Giah

[thatquirkychanel]

Bride of Death

Feared by all

The monster

Yes, he has a heart

Yes, mother he does

I've felt it against my palm

The awakening I witnessed

He did not know

Hated by all

Hates them all

But he does love me

Me

I wear flowers

And he picks out the thorns

Yes, mother I'm well aware of how he carries the dark

How you are scared of his wrath

But do not worry

He takes me to the far ends of the land and sea

Do you still believe I didn't go with him deliberately?

I knew about the seeds

He never did hide

I knew I'd be confined

I did not not want to leave him behind

This is my world now

I'm the Queen

And he is my King

I'm writing this from my own garden

Yes mother, a garden in the underworld

I see cerberus play

With the flowers I've made

Yes, the three headed hound of hades

Hades, he's sleeping next to me

Under this beautiful tree

I'm not possessed or am I

It's not like the demons

Who desired to have me

I wish to be his

I gave myself to him

His touch burned my skin

But I was was shinning

So do not worry mother

Im safe and warm

In his arms

More than your heaven afar

-Giah

[thatquirkychanel]

My New Home

Yes, for I've taken the room and yes, its been days. The corners, shelves and the hangings on walls have grown in ways unlike known to me. I love how this almost feels like I can stay that I can call it as mine but my bags are still unladed. I take out few belongings from them and put them right back in. Forgive me for I still have not learnt how to move in. I sit on the bed with the key in my hand, the one you gave when I told you I don't understand "You can come in whenever you want, you don't have to wait for me to open the door It's yours! So, bring your things with you and fill yourself in my world it has been an empty place, hide the cracks with your coloured images." Your words make me want to settle in for your soul, I don't doubt you or I would have never left an imprint on the floor. Sometimes the new faces knocking on the door unnerve me, for they claim, they are known to you and you'd be glad to see I do not know anymore as I look at my eyes in the glass, for honey, I am too sleepy You know, it wanes when I see you smiling on the other end of the bed, as I get closer it brightens and in a long time I finally feel safe. -Giah

[thatquirkychanel]

Persephone To Your Hades

Beneath the vibrant and beautiful skin She craved the taste of darkness There was something about the touch She couldn't resist If she had to choose between a god and devil She'd hold the hand of the king of hell in a blink He completed her in ways she never knew could be possible When he moved his fingers on her bared skin She became his Like she was possessed His faint name on her lips Broke the spell He could feel again He wished to take her in the moment He wanted to tell her about his yearning But the thought of hurting her made him bite his tongue She caressed his face and placed her hand on his chest Hoping to find his hidden jewel His heart Who knew the devil could be scared? He repented not having it after all these years The sound of her chuckle made him open his eyes The sight in front would be his demise For the devil knew he was defeated in his own game As she told him how she loved the sound of his heartbeat He was the reason for chaos and pain He was the one they talked about in hushed voices They warned her about his intentions How he cuts down the wings of angels How she'd lose her light in his hands But they didn't know it was destined He brushed his lips against hers Taking in the essence of her pure soul It did not dim her light but she glowed He could see the same desire in her eyes She was made for him As darkness and light runs in her veins hand in hand She brought light to the corners of hell How strange it was to have your heart back And lose it in an instance To a damsel who who was entirely inverse In the end he admitted his defeat Put his sword down And knelt to the queen. -Giah

[thatquirkychanel]

Boy Who Loved Stars

And sometimes I open your page Not out of obsession Not out of some infatuation For the sole reason I once talked to you The intensity in those eyes The captivating smile Words that got me curious Though, i believe I understand you But how do I tell you The butterflies are dead and so are the feelings Even now, I can't quite figure out why were you so intriguing Look at the time "I only call you when it's half past five The only time I'll be by your side Do you remember?" Oh, how could you It was just a song which you must have forgotten For how you deleted like it was nothing Nothing for you I adored the sweet innocent boy in the video But the truth is, admiration is what all I had I never wanted to have you Why? The same reason you had built your walls too high The same reason you are afraid of opening up The same reason you hold yourself back And yet, you ask me how do I know you so well? Sometimes, you don't need to write in paragraphs Sometimes, when you look at someone you see your own reflection And at end, I'll always remember you as the boy who asked me to pray for him Who wanted nothing but smiles and happiness. -Giah

[thatquirkychanel]

Broken Boy Meets Broken Girl

I feared the future for what it might bring me, and oh look! I met you. I used to alter the course of my manner to shield myself from the battle wounds not in view I am scared, I won't lie. How could I not? People place you as the one they'd wish to have in their lives, and here I have you question "why?". "You deserve so much more", your mere words give me the hope to believe,oh I do. it is still not in my understanding why in the bunch of roses, a daisy you'd choose. I see a kind boy with scars hidden too deep; a little shy, a little bright with smile who could get under anyone's essence You wear prayers in pendents around your neck, They keep you closer to the one in heaven. Could you thank him for I'm too flawed I don't know how to swim so I evade the ocean in your eyes, I break the allure everytime or it could be my demise I cannot fathom out the reason why are you with me, how far this will go I spurn to see Even if it is short lived, time that I cannot cease, I'll thankyou for all the smiles you save only for me. You broke down the walls people gave up knocking on, you didn't walk away when I refused to open the door. Is it strange that after your smile, I couldn't move past your scars, it's not because I was looking for flaws and love it does not deface your charm I know you have your demons and how they live beneath your bed, I admit I too get scared but darling I have my own fair share, the Broken boy meets a broken girl sounds a cliché to the ears, but that's our reality and theme of our little recital. let's put this on play, and have a little show.

Giah