5'9 | 18 | sw 170 | cw 134 | gw 130

[thatsallnow]

reply post

for the past 6 months, I really havent been able to stop getting sick. I have literally been sick almost every other week with something different. has anyone else experienced anything like this?? how did you make it better, I can’t keep living like this 😓

[thegoodvybe]

[wishfulforasmalltomorrow]

the reason people with eating disorders are obsessed with “the number on the scale” instead of simply looking at their bodies to see results is because most of us have body dysmorphia and physically fucking can’t see what they actually look like so the scale is their only indication of progress. what do people not get about that

[remanence-of-love]

[thatsallnow]

I don’t know who needs this, but i know i certainly did.

found on instagram creds: @a-hurricane-thundercloud

[100lbspls]

These scenes in The Devil Wears Prada lmao

[thatsallnow]

a 10 year old broke my heart

To the parents of the kids I babysit- I was babysitting your kids today 10(boy) and 13(girl), we were sitting around the living room table playing your kids favorite board game. Out of no where your son hits your daughters leg and says “Your leg jiggles cause you’re fat” and repeatedly continued to call your daughter fat. Your daughter plays travel soccer, eats healthy, and is most definitely NOT fat. It broke my heart because you don’t see how the comments your son made affect your daughters growth, image of herself, but most importantly her mental health. I know this story all too well, growing up the same words were spoken to me “you’re fat” “why are your thighs so big” “your legs jiggle”. I jumped in immediately emphasizing how strong, muscular and capable his sister was. We all need to do a better job educating and supporting each other, but this starts with you. I wish when I was 13 and people called me fat, I realized how strong, capable, athletic and independent I was. Eating disorders start at home, no matter what anyone says. I dont want your daughter to hurt the same way I do. Please teach your son kinder words.

[100lbspls]

I know everyone here wishes this but GOD I wish food disinterested me. I wish I had a busy, interesting life that made me forget to eat. Like a frazzled police detective who just saw a dead body and can barely stomach anything other than coffee while they work on their case. Or an intern who’s so busy trying to climb the corporate ladder of success she doesn’t realize that she’s been functioning on liquid caffeine for the past few days. But here I am, laying in bed and desperately trying not to think of the ice cream in the freezer

[konoko]

hug me, please

i’m sad

[delicate-lace]

you think you’re faking this? ok. prove it.

delete tumblr. delete myfitnesspal. delete any and all calorie tracking apps. go into your kitchen. right now. get up and walk into your kitchen. now make a pot of pasta or spaghetti. or make a salad with chicken or a smoothie. or make a few eggs with some potatoes. or heat up the leftovers in the fridge. or maybe grab some crackers out of the cupboard. don’t think about numbers. don’t count it. don’t measure it. don’t look up the calories. then sit down and eat the whole thing. don’t cut it up small, don’t wait until a certain time, don’t stare at it for forever before you eat it. cook it, put it on a plate, and eat it. maybe scroll through instagram or watch a tv show while you eat. like a post on your explore page about loving pizza without thinking of the calories or feeling fat. when you’re done eating, don’t go to the mirror, don’t go to the scale, don’t go to the toilet to throw up. then go on with your life without thinking about what you just ate or when you’ll eat next. now do that every time you first feel hungry every single day for the rest of your life.

if you can do that, fine. i’ll believe you. you’re “faking it”.

but if even one step of that sounds like your own personal hell, shut up because you’re absolutely not fake and your problems are beyond valid and you deserve to recover right now right where you are.

[theselovelybutterflybones]

Hypocrisy.

Fact: People lie. They’ll tell you “You’re perfect the way you are.” “You don’t need to change a thing. You’re already beautiful.” “Every size is beautiful.” 

They’re lying.

Fact: People treat you nicer when you’re thin. People find you attractive when you’re thin. People actually ask you out when you’re thin. 

Fact: Society is nicer to skinny people. Fashion looks better on skinny people. The world is easier for skinny people.

Fact: I know this from personal experience. 

When I dropped 10lbs, my brother’s best friend finally acknowledged my existence and asked me out. I said no.

When I dropped 20lbs, my ex wanted us to give it another shot. I said no.

When I dropped 30lbs, an old crush asked for my phone number. I said no.

Fact: If someone didn’t want you before, they don’t deserve you after. You’re worth more than that.

Don’t do it to please someone else. Don’t do it to make someone want you. 

Do it because you deserve to be happy in your own skin. Do it because your opinion of yourself is the only one that truly matters. 

Do it because you have been through so much. You have sacrificed so much and been so strong. You deserve this. 

Fact: It will hurt. It will be difficult. It will take time. Anything worth having always will. But don’t give up. You can get there. You will get there. 

Don’t give up. It will be worth it. I believe in you.

[thegoodvybe]

“I hope she’ll be a fool – that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (via thegoodvybe)

[thatsallnow]

I’m sorry that I let my eating disorder affect you

I’m sorry to everyone who’s been affected by my eating disorder

To my parents - I’m sorry I lie to you about what I eat a lot. I’m sorry I’m always getting sick because my immune system can’t help me. I’m sorry that you worry

To my best friend - I’m sorry you’re the only person that knows. I’m sorry that I burdened you with my ed. I’m sorry that I’m not the only one in your life suffering with an eating disorder. I’m sorry that I knew your grandma had an eating disorder and still did this to myself anyways. I’m sorry I saw what this did to our friend and still did it to myself anyway. I’m sorry that you worry.

To my friends - I’m sorry that I starve myself to look like you guys. I’m sorry that I don’t want to go to restaurants anymore. I’m sorry it’s hard to make plans with me. I’m sorry that you worry

To my older brother - I’m sorry that you dont know whats going on with me right now. I’m sorry I always text you when I’m sad. I’m sorry for making you think you did something wrong. I’m sorry you noticed I lost over 30 pounds. I’m sorry that people compare you to me. I’m sorry that you worry

To the chef who made my dinner last night - I’m sorry I didn’t eat it. It tasted really good but I can’t eat it. Im sorry you thought I didn’t like it

To the girl I passed on the street today - I am SO sorry for comparing you, to me. I’m sorry that the first thing I noticed about you was your weight

To my dog - I’m sorry you noticed I’ve changed. I’m sorry I don’t give you people food anymore. I’m sorry I cry in your fur a lot. I’m sorry that you worry

Im just so sorry.

When you start to develop an eating disorder you don’t see it. You don’t see the people you hurt on a daily basis. You don’t notice what you’re putting them through. You become a shell of what you used to be and asking for help becomes impossible. Stay safe.

[losing-and-losing]

Family/friends: you’re looking so good!! Just make sure you don’t get … like… an eating disorder haha

Me:

[thinmoonchild]

ha ha 🙃

[sorrydontdeserveit]

Me: I want to be so thin that people worry

Friends/family: *Starts worrying*

Me: No wait stop I’m not skinny yet

[perfectly-thinnn]

a whole mood

[thatsallnow]

I got hand foot and mouth disease last Fridat and i have had like 2 meals since. WEIGHED MYSELF THIS MORNING AND IM 141. I’ve never been so close to my gw

[skxnny-please-deactivated201906]

if i ever post anything pro-ed i’m really sorry. i am not pro-ed or pro mental illness in any way. this is just my way of expressing my thoughts and feelings, and sometimes that comes out the wrong way. again i’m sorry if it ever seems like i am pro-ed because i am not. we all deserve happiness and recovery and i encourage happiness and recovery. i would never ever encourage mental illness or eating disorders

this has been a psa