iv been in bulimic hell for 5 years and im still not skinny
although i did get this:
no friends
broken teeth that hurts like a motherfucker all the time andĀ everyĀ otherĀ dayĀ i lose smallĀ piecesĀ , i cant drink stuff that are to cold or to hot , and i have to dinkĀ almosteverythingĀ trough a straw ,Ā chewingĀ hurts ,i cant evenĀ chewĀ gum , soft food hurts to so i should only eat soup but you know crying from the pain whileĀ shovelingĀ oldĀ moldyĀ bread in yourĀ alreadyĀ fat body is fun.Ā
a permanent scar that says fat on myĀ wrist.
i cant take a shit withoutĀ laxatives.
im broke like fuck cuz i spend all my money on food.
nobody trusts me.Ā
im constantly hungry-.
myĀ apartmentĀ smells like vomit all the timeĀ
i cantĀ focusĀ on anything else.-
i want to dieĀ becauseĀ im afraid that this is going to kill me.Ā
7 years after i wrote this and im still in bulimic hell , still not skinnyĀ Ā and i now have :Ā
1.no friends 2. broken teeth that hurts like a motherfucker all the time and every other day i lose small pieces , i cant drink stuff that are to cold or to hot , and i have to dink almosteverything trough a straw , chewing hurts ,i cant even chew gum , soft food hurts to so i should only eat soup but you know crying from the pain while shoveling old moldy bread in your already fat body is fun. 3. a permanent scar that says fat on my wrist. 4.i cant take a shit without laxatives. 5. im broke like fuck cuz i spend all my money on food. 6.nobody trusts me. 7. im constantly hungry- 8.my apartment smells like vomit all the time.Ā 9. i cant focus on anything else. 10. want to die because im afraid that this is going to kill me.Ā 11. i had to leave my family because i could not risk dying in front of my kids.
