Jakey Cakes

I don't know what I am anymore. I post fanfiction on AO3: archiveofourown.org/users/Jake_Matthews Check out my side-blog jat-the-ramblr.tumblr.com

[pechuyu]

They’re going on a fishing trip (aangs there for emotional support)

[alonelybeemakingart]

Being able to See and smell the smoke from my window while getting a "breaking News" notification in my Phone

It reads that some Guy won gold in swimming

I think we need to rethink our labeling here

[t00thpasteface]

me before i get my paycheck: i'm so excited to spend this on essentials and save the rest wisely

me as soon as that direct deposit hits: you know i've always wanted to learn the theremin

[grassyfailure]

Dude who was gonna tell me how fun it is to draw Eridians???

[the-haiku-bot]

Dude who was gonna

tell me how fun it is to

draw Eridians???

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[strangestcase]

Geological horror. You find a geode and crack it open and the crystal lining its walls is human blood that can't be genetically matched to anyone. You find a human skeleton but every one of the bones is made from rock, a rock that you know can't be whittled into those shapes. You find layers of clay and loam that sport ancient fossils at the top and the still-rotting corpses of modern animals at the bottom.

[bleu-guacamole]

This reminds me of the blood river in Antarctica. For like a century scientists had no clue why this river looked like, acted like, and felt exactly like blood. Turns out it’s just really high in iron.

[the-sassy-composer]

"Blood River in Antartica" yeah right there's no way a river looks like bl-

...nevermind

[wigmund]

Blood Falls isn't just high in iron, it's the byproducts of extremophile bacteria that have been isolated under a glacier in a iron- and sulfur-rich anoxic brine for the past 5 million years.

[thesevenumbrellas]

Not all venom fans are monster fuckers 😞 some of us are just aroace disasters who like the idea of a platonic soulmate who likes to murder annoying people for you, is that so bad?

[thesevenumbrellas]

Guys I’m part of the club 🥺

[ursavorpalis]

monsterqueerplatonic

[thesevenumbrellas]

[extreme-ultimate-hornknee]

Aces are welcomed and are valued members in the monsterfucker community.

[ariaste]

call that a monsterfriender

[midnightssea]

spotted this sign at a hotdog restaurant where the extra long hotdog is called “the homewrecker”

[amiya-shirou]

actually the way society hates both perverts and asexuals is kinda funny. Real "Anyone who thinks about sex more than I do is a porn-addicted degenerate and anyone who thinks about sex less than I do is a loser weirdo or a puritan" energy

[amiya-shirou]

incredible tag thank you

[luckyladylily]

The levers of societal pressure do not work on people outside the societal norm, and so both asexual people and hypersexual people are demonized, excluded, and othered. It was never about sex, it was about conformity and control.

[creekfiend]

there is this really specific thing that very Online women of a certain age (mostly older millennials and younger gen x in my experience) who are married to a man will do where they will refer to their husbands as "Mr. (Part of My Username)"

so like if the username is something like "dancingwithbears" they'll refer to their husband as "Mr. Bears"

i think it is extremely charming

[hempseeeeds]

like how @elodieunderglass 's Partner is Dr. Glass, presumably because he actually has that academic title

[elodieunderglass]

Ahh exactly! I’m not precisely in the described demographic, but it was a strongly set convention of a community I was in at the time. I believe the tradition goes back to livejournal.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I fucking forgot that Harry Potter ends with Harry going “I wonder if my slave will make me a sandwich”

[monologi0n]

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

everyone got taken out by the dogshit epilogue that this got buried but oh my god lol

[imp]

[kleinergeist]

You don't even need to study for the Rorschach test, btw, it's super easy. All they do is show you a bunch of stupid pictures of your dad getting eaten by a horse

[hermann-rorschach]

Do not share the answers with your classmates.

[kleinergeist]

Yes Dr Rorschach

Sorry Dr Rorschach

[enameledcoppergirl]

Big, thick tail. And it’s yours.

[key-pair]

in case folk outside the UK aren't abreast of our news, the British press just hounded a black academic to death

[key-pair]

a rough timeline of events (from memory, there may be inaccuracies, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong)

Cambridge professor of sociology Jason Arday is accused of plagiarism by another academic

the accuser is a "race realist" who believes that in a true meritocracy all university professors would be white. this is somehow not acknowledged much during the entire ordeal

this leads to several days of media coverage demanding an investigation, or that Arday is expelled from his post immediately

somehow this accusation that has no effect on the lives of 99.99% of the population becomes FRONT PAGE NEWS in all the newspapers for multiple days, above anything else happening in the UK or the world at large

following intense media scrutiny, Arday resigns his post as a Cambridge professor

today, august 14th, days after resigning, Arday is found dead at his home in Battersea

the British tabloid press remains, and will always be, fucking evil

[cantdrawtosavemylife]

Went to google more news about professor Jason Arday, and I swear to God the first two pages of research are rancid propaganda sites smearing the man's reputation, up to and including popular Brazilian news magazine Veja.

This article by professor Kehinde Andrews clarifies more about the story of racist harassment Arday has been suffering since he fucking got a teaching job at Cambridge in the first place, in 2023, as the FIRST Black professor in that fucking stupid institution, who sure is taking it's sweet time defending their worker, despite already fucking checking his work for plagiarism and saying he didn't do it:

https://www.voice-online.co.uk/opinion/comment/2026/08/07/ardays-resignation/

A dark agenda lies behind Jason Arday's resignation - Voice Online

Arday's resignation has reignited questions about race and who is truly accepted at the highest levels of British academia

Several of the academics who harassed this man into suicide do not seem to have suffered at all in their academic careers. Actually, Dave Harris, who lost his Emeritus title for his racist behavior back in 2024 (something the news only call "criticizing Critical Race Theory", instead of "sent racist emails to fellow black academics"), was defended by Plymouth University, where he used to work, and fucking got the title back earlier this year.

[cannibalgender]

A couple things about the above.

1. He wasn’t the first Black Professor at Cambridge, but he WAS the youngest X

2. He was ALSO autistic, and nonverbal for the first 11 years of his life X

The rest of the story unfolds pretty much as described. And he was a fucking Sociologist studying racial equity in schools and academia. They publicly bullied a black autistic man to suicide for being imperfect whilst asserting a place for blackness in academia.

[baddywronglegs]

The UK just got its first proper use of the emergency alert system.

Your phone screams at you and displays an urgent message. There is a button to dismiss it.

What this means:

"Here is a message the UK government has decided it is of vital importance the majority of the public are aware of immediately. You can only read it on the screen of a device which is actively making as distressing a noise as we can force out of it. The only way to stop the screaming to make it easier to parse what is on the screen is to dismiss the message."

A+ design.

If you missed what it was because you pressed the STOP FUCKING YELLING AT ME button before you were able to parse what the thing it was screaming about was, don't start fires, the country's a fucking tinderbox. Your barbecue will wait.

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

Is the guy in the cuck chair supposed to stay quiet or is he allowed to clap and cheer

[foxgirlmindcrank]

he's supposed to take notes and make an intrigued hum when an interesting plot point occurs

[conspiracydeerist]

[blu3str1k3]

[thisarenotarealblog]

one is getting cucked by the bottom and the other is getting cucjed by the top. Subject matter experts discussing the sex like a sports panel

[morganoperandi]

One cuck always lies, the other always tells the truth. You have one question to determine who’s a top and who’s a bottom.

[whumpster-fire]

[salvadorbonaparte]

"on god's green earth" is way too fun to say even when you don't believe in god and know most of it is blue, actually

[ashlgcostumes]

Tag via @bluehairedspidey and vocabulary updated