nikkimarcello:
Maybe this was what Nikki was good at? Pushing people away when he needed them most because it was easier that way. The thing was Nikki had never had to count on someone as much as Theo before. Not even his own father was something he could count on. He’d grown accustom to keeping everything locked inside until it drove him completely insane. Which could’ve been why he was constantly falling into things he shouldn’t because he didn’t cope with things well. That being said, it wasn’t Theo’s job to take care of him, especially when he was being rude to her. He was right about one thing and that was the fact that Theo did deserve better than the person he became sometimes.
“You know what you’re right, no one forced me to be here.” There were many moments Nikki had thought of Theo first. Like wanting to be better for her, trying to hide things from her to protect her, even if that wasn’t the right way to go about it, and so on but there were also moments he didn’t think about all the details. Like the fact that Theo did know him better than anyone and there were times, just like him, that she needed reassurance that the trauma they went through together, that they were working through the struggles, or that he was. Rather than ignoring them and leaving her in fear that he’d fall off track. He didn’t think of just how much Theo cared about him sometimes. That his struggles were hers as well in sense. He honestly should’ve seen it being that it went both ways but Nikki had a hard time thinking anyone would really put that much time and dedication into him. “I don’t fucking need this right now.” He shot back, shaking his head before turning around and grabbing his wallet and keys off the side table as he heading towards the door. Running away, it was easy. Things got difficult so he’d do what he always did, right? Leave, drink too much, hide away until he started thinking like a normal person and was able to go on the apology train?
It was then something snapped into gear and he realized he couldn’t leave. He was still on edge, frustrated with himself, and felt like he was going to lose his mind but he couldn’t leave… He couldn’t be petty and stubborn. Not when they were in a relationship, not when they’d been through so much, it wasn’t fair to either of them. Nikki dropped his hand from the door knob and took a breath before turning back around and walking back over to Theo. “Can we just… Ignore all that?” Fucking hell, he was coming off as such a spastic psychopath. “We can just go back to watching the movie.”
I don’t fucking need this right now.
She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs that neither did she. That she didn’t need to feel as if she was balancing on a tight rope and it was him who got to decide if she fell to the hard earth without a net. Theo wanted to scream that all she had wanted was a night with her boyfriend after a long day at work or how she didn’t deserve to be treated as if she was just another one of his play things he could toy with whenever he wanted. The young woman wanted to scream that she didn’t deserve this. But she didn’t. Theo refused to sink to his level and to take the low road to try and hurt him.
Emerald eyes turned from him as she stared at a random picture on the wall, anything to get her focus away from Nikki. The jingle of his keys was impossible to miss, a sound that broke her heart to hear. He was leaving, just as she asked. For a second, Theo regretted the suggestion. The red head wanted nothing more for him to just tell her the truth, to just say what was on him mind and what was eating at him. She had to remind herself of his harsh tone, to tell herself that maybe it would be better if he just left for the night. She wouldn’t sleep a wink out of worry or fear, but at least that space would be there for each of them to breathe.
“No, no we can’t”, Theo spoke without hesitation as she let out the breath that she had not realized she was still holding. Pushing herself up from the couch, she crossed her arms once more as she stood behind him. “You can’t just bite my head off and then want to go back to being affectionate”, she pointed out. “I know you, Nikki. I know when something is off and you’ve been quiet all night. You just chewed me out for laying against you when you were just saying how much you loved it. So what the hell is actually going on?”













