Formerly TheCanarianEmpire

So this is my blog! Yeah! It's a mixture of fandom stuff, random stuff, and whatever comes across my dash. I occasionally make little rant-y personal posts, which most of the time are tagged with "just ignore me". I'm always up for talking, and my inbox is empty 100% of the time, so feel free to drop me a message or an ask!

[thatswhywelovegermany]

[itstimetomotivate]

[anexperimentallife]

[futuremoji]

Your least recently used emoji is how people feel when they see you

[otter-byte]

The whole "oh fast food workers are quitting because they aren't paid enough" really ignores that fast food work is the most dogshit job you can have. Like McDonalds in Aus pays above minimum wage in a lot of places and still struggles for good staff because it's just an awful place to work. People want living wages but they also want clear scheduling, more rights in the workplace, better equipment and managers that aren't weird sexist boomers.

[memeguy-com]

You win this round cheese

[ogseitai]

actually that is a rectangle cheese

[official-motherfuckinoedipus-de]

[oxford comma laughing in the distance]

[river-b]

[vocative comma wondering what oxford comma thinks it’s doing here]

[adhoption]

I already reblogged this for the pun but I’m reblogging again for the sick punctuation banter

[saintsideways]

it’s wild times on tumblr tonight

[colemckenzies]

what’s your ‘thing’ as a friend. i don’t mean like ‘oh im the mom friend’ i mean like what’s the Thing where if one of your friends was looking for a specific interaction they’d message you first. personally i can always be relied upon to get hyped about bugs, literature, and cursed internet images.

[bluegreenpurple-thesideaccount]

Playing through a game with a friend and they don’t check every container and square inch of the map:

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

hey if you died right now whats your ghost outfit you cant change it be honest

[valtsv]

it would be fun if an angel and a vampire were friends i think

[valtsv]

vampire: ugh, you mortals simply can't comprehend the timescale i live on. i've watched your empires rise and fall, your cities crumble to dust. i find your short little lives amusing at best. i -

angel: HI, I HAVE BEEN ALIVE SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME AND I NOTICED YOU ARE ALSO SOMEWHAT OLD?

vampire: ...sure. hey what was the dawn of time like?

angel: PRETTY BORING ACTUALLY. NOTHING ELSE EXISTED YET.

vampire: oh, man, i feel you. i slept through, like, the entire 14th century it was so boring. everyone was dying of plague and shit anyway so i didn't miss much.

[valtsv]

vampire: hey i am outside your apartment

angel: YOU'VE JUST BEEN STANDING THERE? FOR HOW LONG?

vampire: uhhhhhhh a mere speck in comparison to our immortal lives so don't worry about it honestly. i need you to invite me in though.

angel: OF COURSE, I'M SO SORRY. PLEASE COME IN.

vampire: *steps over the threshold and immediately starts hissing and coughing like a cat with a bad hairball*

angel: OH, I'M SO SORRY. MY APARTMENT IS CONSIDERED HOLY GROUND BECAUSE I LIVE IN IT. I SHOULD HAVE WARNED YOU.

vampire: *coughing* it's fine. do you - *cough* *wheeze* what are your thoughts on chinese? i know a great place just a couple of blocks from here

[valtsv]

everyone replying to this with "and they were lovers"? target audience

[fragrant-stars]

*through gritted teeth* it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done. it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done. it doesn’t have to be-

[thewritingrealm]

If you're reading this...

go write three sentences on your current writing project.

[ezzydean]

# my favourite part about this post # is that nowhere does it say to reblog this # but we’re all reblogging it # because if we have to suffer # so do other writers

[bitegore]

F u c k

[willowcrowned]

there's something so compelling about stories where a character's virtues intensify into flaws that lead to their downfall. loyalty and love becoming so all-consuming that compassion outside of them ceases to exist. duty overwhelming any moral compass until order becomes more important than justice. selflessness so intense it becomes self-destruction. let me watch while whatever saved the hero in the beginning destroys them. let me see them fall to their own worst impulses disguised as what once made them good.

[mellointheory]

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

[the-haiku-bot]

Who makes the porn bots.

Where do they come from. What do

they hope to achieve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[mellointheory]

and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.

do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?

[the-haiku-bot]

My voice repeats what

you all say: I love you I

love you I love you.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[seal-of-unknown]

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

“Shake my hand in character”

(From Denise Jastraunig’s TikTok)

[saathiray]

Never seen cats, never intend to watch it, don’t care at all, but I love this.

[lotrreactionmemes]

I love all the comments saying “how many cats ARE there in Cats?!” because this isn’t even all of them lol

[curlicuecal]

This is why I can watch Cats (the broadway version) over and over. Every single person on stage is doing so much character acting with their body language constantly; there are always new interesting background details to notice. <3

[reginaldqueribundus]

[hedgehog-moss]

I always hire my guests to help me with ‘chores’ (if they’re willing!), the kind of task that’s fun at first but less fun when you have to keep going for hours (burning all the broom bushes in the pasture, picking many kg of berries to make syrup, carrying a mountain of logs into the wood shed and building stable log piles so they don’t come cascading down later…) And every time I’m amazed by the way humans can make the most tedious tasks genuinely fun through… group dynamics? just the way people start interacting and bonding with each other when everyone is focused on the same repetitive physical activity. It’s hard to find examples because it’s always so specific to each situation; but I mean things like

people spontaneously specialising and developing a feeling of expertise and pride in their subtrade, no matter how silly (putting away firewood involved one Log Selecter outside going back and forth delivering logs to two Pile Builders who piled them up in the shed, and each rapidly created their own well-oiled System and became convinced it would be hard to replace them now that they had mastered their craft)

new vocabulary being coined and immediately adopted (the Pile Builders came up with nicknames for logs of different lengths and shapes so they could ‘order’ them from the Log Selecter more efficiently—”I’ve got a One-Armed Bandit here, I need another one to fit next to it, but with an ‘arm’ on the other side” “Here” “The arm is on the same side!” “Just turn it around and the arm will be on the other side”)

songs emerging almost by themselves (a song about fishing mussels was repurposed into a song about picking plums; a whole new song was invented to encourage weirdly-shaped logs to fit in with the others as we tried to fill all the gaps)

stories being told. Weaving a trivial task into a complex imaginary plot and context to make it more entertaining and meaningful

the extremely human compulsion to write down our knowledge to share it with future generations (I was told to take note of the best & quickest knot to tie up foliage when making tree hay, for the benefit of whoever does it next summer)

beliefs as to the Right Way To Do Things quickly solidifying into myths or superstitions, as we forget what drove us to do things this way in the first place, but trust that we had good reasons so now it’s the Way It’s Done

I always tell people to help only if they feel like it and we can stop anytime and I’ll finish later by myself, but what usually happens instead is that they want to come back at the same time next year to do this exact chore again because of how they’ve made it theirs in just a few days (or in one afternoon!) Give a group of humans a banal task and while they’re at it they will come up with a whole new inside slang, a few work songs and a handful of founding texts and myths, until it feels special and important. I love seeing the way these miniature folklores just emanate from people doing things together.