"Let's Rob A Bank." "No."

these two angsty grandpas dont think they gay icon/header by @cryptidzero asks [open]

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

❝ You know, you have an adorable smile- ow. ❞

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

Leo how do you feel about fives asexuality?

Leo: I don’t feel anything? Everyone identifies differently and that’s totally fine. Doesn’t make me feel any differently ‘bout him if that’s what you mean.

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

What is your favorite thing about each other?

Five: He’s loyal, and can easily keep up with me when the others lag behind, meaning he can answer their questions while I work. Also, his laugh is quite frankly adorable.

Leo: He’s really smart and picks up on things easily so I don’t have to take forever to explain things. You will not believe how long it takes people to understand Stellar evolution which needs more imagination for building theoretical models using existing observational data. He can also be really sweet and caring when he wants to be. That, and he’s got a really cute smile.

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

Soooo when’s the wedding?? Destination?? Color scheme???

Five: DO NONE OF YOU LISTEN??

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

Does this fanfic signify the bois accepting the fact that they are indeed, dating?? Boys? Thoughts?

Five: …….yes, you heathens. We’re officially dating. If anyone so much as dares to ask about wedding dates I will be severely displeased.

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

Ik this is an rp acct technically but @author do you have any juicy or fun five-o fanfic written lately?

I do, actually! It’s based off an rp I was doing in my discord, but it’s really cute I can’t help but share asdfg

“Five.” 

“Yes?” 

“When you said you weren’t letting go, I didn’t know you meant that literally.” Leo stays trapped under the blanket with Five’s arms securely around his waist. Afraid that if he lets go the previously dead boy will go get himself killed again. Which, in all fairness, is something Leo would do. He lets out a deep breath through his nose and closes his eyes. Barely able to keep himself awake fueled by the fear of coming across another terrible memory. It seems his brain likes reminding him of all his trauma during the times he is most vulnerable. “I can’t even get up and walk.”

 “You can’t even walk.” Five retorts from where his head is resting on Leo’s shoulder. His grip around him tightening. He sighs when he cranes over and sees a slight pout on Leo’s face. “The last time I took my eyes off you-you ran off to Arden’s.” 

“Yeah, well, that’s only ‘cause you guys were giving me a headache with how childish you were being.” A hand moves to massage his closed eyes. Mouth twisted into a frown. Five lets his chin drop to Leo’s shoulder again.“Five?” He hums to show he is listening. “What are we?” 

“Human.” 

“No shit. I mean like- what is this between us?” Sensing the insecure edge in his tone. Five sits up, removing one arm to press his elbow into the pillow and prop himself up. Leo has turned his head to the side purposely fixating on a smudge on the wall. Ears a bright red and cheeks dusted pink. Five wouldn’t have ever thought Leo would be so…even Five was used to physical affection- practically being glomped by Klaus every time he enters the door. Leo, however, literally collapsed onto the floor when Arden hugged him and stayed there for an entire day. 

“I don’t know.” Five answers after a few moments of pondering. “I wouldn’t mind calling you my boyfriend-“ Leo lets out a sound stuck between a squeal and a groan and covers his face. Five unable to resist smirking. He takes one of Leo’s hands and intertwines their fingers. Resting it down on the pillow beside his head then leaning over. “But then again everyone always says we’re married already.” 

”Oh my god, how can you be so smooth without even trying?!” Leo whines soon followed by an embarrassed chuckle. Five opens his mouth to try arguing (he’s just stating facts) when Leo leans forward and presses a quick kiss to his lips. That was the first time he initiated a kiss. Falling back the pillow, he gives Five a raised eyebrow and a mischievous smile. “Boyfriends don’t sound half bad, huh snookums-“ Five kissing him again cuts him off.

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

What are your favorite colors?

Five: Blue, maroon and grey.

Leo: Blue, purple, and green.

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

Hey what are your guys’ Myers Briggs personality types? (4 letter ones)

Leo: I’m an ISTP!

Five: INTJ

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

Ooh this might be treading into inappropriate territory but are you guys virgins or no?

Leo: I WOULD SURE HOPE SO!

Five: Yes, we both are.

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

five if you had to give leo a pet name what would it be

Five: We aren’t even- [sighs]

Five: My love or darling. None of that stupid ‘pookie’ or ‘tootsie’ shit.

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

Leo how do you feel about Delores/Five having a wife?

Leo: I don’t mind. I never talked to Delores much, but she was a way for Five to cope with everything going on, and while talking to a mannequin isn’t a healthy coping mechanism it kept him alive. I actually kept Delores around when Five left with the Commission. It was nice having someone to talk to even if she didn’t talk back.

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

Have you guys ever been in relationships before?

Five: No. Unless you count Delores because if so then yes. She is my wife.

Leo: Yeah, I’ve been in a couple. Didn’t last long though.

Five: Wait, what? Who were they?

Leo: Aww, jealous?

Five: …no.

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

What are your guys’ sexualities?

Leo: I’m gay.

Five: Bi ace.

Leo: That means you can like me, huh sugarplum?

Five: Stop. Calling. Me. By. Nicknames.

Leo: Nah.

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

Have you guys ever been on a date? (I’m mostly asking Leo bc five is oblivious but you both can answer)

Five: What is with people and thinking we are dating? We aren’t dating! I’m not oblivious to anything- everyone is just making assumptions based on things that aren’t real-

Leo: Well, I wouldn’t call it a date but the other day Five and I went to this new observatory that opened up downtown. We saw one of the shows there and Five bought me a shirt that has a cat on it and the word ‘caturn’ underneath.

Five: That’s only because you wouldn’t shut up.

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

❝ And what did we learn today? ❞

❝ Fuck off and help me down. ❞

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

Alright I’ll bite. What does that number mean Leo?

Leo: The woman who owned the orphanage, Miss Candy, got a lot of infants who were dropped on the doorstep without names. She’d number them with tattoos rather than giving them names, but I got mine after trying to run away when I was eight. I was found six hours later under a bridge. So, 00.86.

[the-apocalyptic-gays]

Wait @five if you have pierced ears, do you ever wear earrings? If so what kind?

Five: Just a small diamond pair that I’ll wear on special occasions. Otherwise, I don’t wear earrings that much.