It’s never too early for Halloween
The Bowery Presents
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Hole
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Show & Tell
ojovivo
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d e v o n

roma★

bliss lane
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taylor price
NASA
KIROKAZE
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One Nice Bug Per Day

Kiana Khansmith

gracie abrams
Noah Kahan

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@the-cheeky-witch-blog
It’s never too early for Halloween
This panel is everything. Zuko is actually happy for once, and LOOK AT IROH’S FACE! They love each other so much and I’m so happy.
Does anyone else remember that time Zuko went on a date with a girl because his uncle forced him too. And then she wanted to take him to her favorite spot. But then they got there and the lights weren’t lit to reflect in the water and she got pretty sad. So then even though he was supposed to be undercover and not using his bending, he told her to close her eyes and lit the lamps for her just so he could see her happy. God Dammit he was a good character
... shark boyfriends.........
@abra-ca-fuck-you
Millennials are the "gayest" generation in America and twice as likely to identify as LGBT, a new study has found.
To me this is super encouraging, because it means more people are a) aware of the options, b) understanding themselves, and c) feeling safe/comfortable expressing their identity. <3
All true.
Though…i would remind everyone that we lost a LOT of us in the 70s-80s-90s. To things like AIDs. So at least part of the difference in numbers is that the older members of our community didn’t all survive.
Great points, we should remember the huge numbers we lost to AIDS. My point was less a competition between generations and more about the absolute numbers of the millennial generation being so high.
Okay, can I just talk about this comic series for a second? This has got to be the most hilarious comic series I have ever seen. This is AJ & Magnus, a Calvin and Hobbes inspired comic series about an adopted kid, his talking dog, and his 2 gay parents. The humor is really good, very quick and to the point. This series is beautiful, please, give them your love!
zangief one of his dads is zangief
all i want is to have one of those ghibli moments where the protag is just lying in a breezy field with wildflowers and big puffy clouds overhead. that’s the goal here.
why did the cake is a lie become the like most quoted portal thing when literally everything glados said was funnier
“Look, we both said a lot of things that *you’re* going to regret.”
“Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it. WELL I WONT LET YOU. how does that feel?”
“Nice job breaking it, hero”
“Look at you. sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle…piloting a blimp”
Like this bitch had a goldmine of good lines
“Maybe after you finish this test, I’ll let you take the elevator all the way up to the break room… and I’ll tell you about the time I saw the deer again.”
“It’s a mystery I’ll have to solve later. By myself. Because you’ll be dead.”
“Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noise– * really loud ass train horn* “I’m sorry, I don’t know why that went off. Anyway, just an interesting science fact.“
“Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I’m serious, that’s what it says: A horrible person. We weren’t even testing for that.”
“Don’t let that ‘horrible person’ thing discourage you. It’s just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother’s decision to abandon you on a doorstep.”
”Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I’m sorry. You didn’t react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That’s why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.“
“Wait. This next test DOES require some explanation. Let me give you the fast version- [unintelligible] There. If you have any questions, just remember what I said in slow motion. Test on your own recognizance, I’ll be right back.”
“This next test involves turrets. You remember them, right? They’re the pale spherical things that are full of bullets. Oh wait. That’s you in five seconds. Good luck.”
“That jumpsuit you’re wearing looks stupid. That’s not me talking, it’s right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks stupid. Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably - Oh, wait. It’s a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!”
“Oh, hi. How are you holding up? Because I’m a POTATO.”
”Remember, these exhibits ARE interactive. Like a children’s museum. So that means the pits of acid are filled with REAL acid. Like at a WELL FUNDED children’s museum.“
“Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber…. is looking pretty good.”
I’ve heard they actually had to rewrite a lot of her dialogue for the early part of Portal 2 to be more ridiculous and petty, as it was actually so on-point and vicious it was making playtesters not want to play the game.
“Didn’t we have some fun, though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said ‘goodbye’ and you were like NO WAY and I was all ‘we pretended we were going to murder you’? That was great.”
Best part about that last quote is that it happens literally 5-10 minutes after the occurrence of said fire pit.
i love when i see my door open a crack and then a second later i see my cat’s beautiful little face
You ask a girl for her phone number
You roll a 20. You get her social security number.
HELLO ALL!!! FALL IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER AND YOU’LL GET TO WEAR JEANS AND LONG SLEEVE SHIRTS AND SWEATERS!!! YOU WONT GET ALL HOT JUST WALKING OUTSIDE FOR 3 minUTES!! THE LEAVES WILL BE CHANGING AND COFFEE WILL BE APPROPRIATE AT 10AM AND 10PM!! THERE WILL BE BETTER DAYS AHEAD. I’m exited for us!
y’all love to mock asian nail salon owners so here’s a little background for your dumbasses:
during the vietnam war, many vietnamese refugees came to america, a lot being women and their children. an american actress, tippi hedren, flew to sacramento, ca. to visit a refugee camp. she wanted to meet the women who were living there and figure out ways to support them. many of them had lost their husbands in the war and were now left without an income and many had no knowledge of how to begin to provide for themselves and their children. while there, tippi noticed that many of the women were fascinated with her manicured nails. tippi had gotten the idea to fly her manicurist to the refugee camp to teach the women how to do nails, in hopes of giving these women a way to support themselves and their families. tippi had paid for 20 women from the refugee camp to attend beautician school and help them get their licenses & eventually find jobs. about 51% of manicurists in the u.s. are vietnamese and many of them are direct descendants of these 20 women who were given the chance to go to beautician school at the courtesy of tippi. so next time y’all want to mock and make fun of hardworking nail techs and treat them like shit, just remember that this is all because of the labor and the persistence of their ancestors who came here with nothing.
Another reason California has a high number of Vietnamese nail techs, is because you can take the test in Vietnamese.
As in, you don’t have to be required to test in English to get licensed which makes the transition easier to learn English gradually.
Anti-Asian sentiment is at an all time high while people still demand their nails to be done.
Respect your service provider.
Ten Major Artists:
Wong Wong & Lulu
Pepper examining himself before commencing a self-portrait
Pepper’s self-portrait
Tiger the spontaneous reductionist
Misty goes off the wall
Minnie, the abstract expressionist
Minnie’s Reindeer in Provence, 1992.
Smokey painting after an hour in the catnip patch
Smokey at work
Ginger’s Stripped Bare Birds, 1992.
Princess, the elemental fragmentist
Charlie, the peripheral realist
this literally makes me so happy
@everythingisscary
Why do we even HAVE that lever?
Back in the day, my old gaming group used to play a game called “why do we even have that lever?”. It works like this:
1. Person A describes a puzzle or trap - the sort of bizarre adventurer-shredding contraption you might encounter in the course of an old-school dungeon crawl that makes absolutely no sense if the dungeon in question was ever supposed to be a facility that people actually used.
2. Person B proposes an explanation for what the “trap” in question is really for - i.e., why it’s not a trap at all, but a totally practical feature of whatever sort of place the dungeon originally was.
3. Person B then describes their own trap to keep the game going.
The only hard rule is that the explanation offered in step 2 absolutely can’t be “it’s a puzzle” or “it’s a trap”; you have to propose some pragmatic function that actually makes sense in the context of the dungeon being the ruins of someplace where people lived and worked. The way it currently works can be justified as a consequence of it having malfunctioned or partially fallen apart, but there has to be some plausible purpose it could have originally served.
For example, I might ask:
“Why is there a room where the entire ceiling is a giant magnet?”
… and you might respond:
“It’s a security checkpoint for the armoury of magical weapons that lies beyond. The presence of the magnet means that weapons can only be safely brought in and out of the armoury using special weighted cases, making it very difficult to steal or substitute items.”
“It’s a laboratory formerly used for experiments involving dangerous creatures from the Elemental Plane of Earth. The powerful magnetic field wholly paralyses all but the mightiest earth elementals, allowing them to be studied at one’s leisure.”
“It’s the old Queen’s gaming room. During her reign, a game of strategy involving man-sized stone pieces on a multi-level board had become fashionable. Though most such games required large work crews to move the pieces around, the Queen’s magnetic chamber - in conjunction with large metal bars driven into the core of each piece - allows the pieces to be manipulated by a single person. Many of the pieces still lay scattered about the room, in various states of disrepair.”
Then you’d describe your own trap.
I’ll start us off with a simple (and apropos) one:
Why is there a lever that drops a giant stone block on the person who pulled it?
It was originally part of a grist mill–the lever was supposed to set off a series of stones that grain for grinding would flow through. The metal fasteners have all rusted through at this point, so activating the device just makes the stone fall out of it.
Why are there jets in the walls that shoot waist-high streams of fire?
It’s a sterilization chamber for excavated artifacts. Because they’re almost indestructible, the easiest and fastest way to clean grime-encrusted artifacts is to bathe them in fire. Anything that doesn’t burn off is the artifact.
Why does this statue shoot eyebeams at any door you try to open?
The statue was originally a sentry. When someone approached a door under its watch, it would examine them with a powerful divination spell in order to verify their identity and goodwill. Should either test fail, or should the subject attempt to avoid being examined, the guards would be summoned forthwith.
However, both the castle and its enchantments were constructed during a fallen age when the power of magic was at a low ebb. In this modern era of high sorcery, the ambient magic level has risen considerably, and with it, the intensity of the statue’s gaze - to the point that its scrutiny now has the unfortunate side effect of exploding the subject’s head.
(Several other dweomers throughout the castle have gone similarly awry. The room that immolates itself in a white-hot blaze of all-consuming flame if you touch a certain part of the floor? Self-lighting fireplace. An examination of the far wall reveals the blast-shadow of the armchair that once stood before the hearth - as well as the adventurer who was incautious enough to sit in it!)
Now… why is there a treasure chest where when you open it a skeleton jumps out and bites you in the face?
It was designed as a gift from the King of the Gnomes to the King of the Dwarves. Old friends, the two kings had one day gotten to talking about matters of security. The Dwarf King Bragged about his massive stone fortifications, his legions of elite soldiers, and the strength and honor of the Dwarven people. The King of the Gnomes laughed and said “All that means nothing. You Dwarves are too predictable, too set in your ways. Why, I bet if my Armies attempted to storm your keep, we could take the very crown from your brow”. And so, the Bet was on, with a chest full of precious stones as the prize. The rules of the war game were set, and a battalion of Gnomish soldiers approached the Dwarven Keep. They were soundly defeated, Gnomes “Died” horribly when struck by blunt crossbow bolts, or tagged by wooden training weapons. When the Gnomish general surrendered, no Gnome had so much as passed the first gate. And So, the Chest was brought forwards, the Dwarf king opened it to examine his prize, only for a skeleton to jump out, grab his crown in it’s teeth, and scamper towards the Gnomish lines as quickly as possible. Everybody had a good laugh. Unfortunately, the Skeleton is a pretty simple animated construct, precisely calibrated to bite at Dwarven Crown-height. If anybody taller than the King were to open the chest… Now…Why does this statue try to break the neck of anybody who walks in front of it?
This was the throne room, and that’s the King’s Bodyguard. It was a time of great strife within the kingdom, which meant there were tons of assassins trying to get to the king. To prevent this, the statue was enchanted so that if anyone without the proper magical tattoo approached too close to the throne, it would spring to life and take them out. Modern adventurers, of course, don’t have the proper clearance according to the enchantment, despite the King being long gone.
Why does this room fill with poison gas when you step on a hidden tile?
there’s a lot of evidence that the iliad and the odyssey were actually composed by a variety of poets through an oral tradition rather than just by one poet, so what if the homeric texts are actually just a very long game of D&D
homer, the dm: okay achilles, agamemnon has just taken away your war prize, what do you want to do achilles’ player: i roll to have a diplomatic conversation with agamemnon achilles’ player: *rolls a 1* homer: you throw the staff of speaking at agamemnon’s face and storm off to sulk with your boyfriend
Homer, the DM: Your beautiful Patroclus is dead. What do you do? Achilles’ player: I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: You can’t fight everyone. How would you even– Achilles’ player: *rolls a 20* I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: *sighs* Fine. You cut a path through the Trojan army, enemy dead strewn in your wake. Achilles’ player: How many? Homer, the DM: …lots. Enough to clog the friggin’ river with bodies. Achilles’ player: I fight the river. Homer, the DM: You. can. not. fight. the. river. Achilles’ player: *reaches for dice*
Homer, the DM: Okay guys, so the war’s over, you had a bunch of losses but you won in the end. Time to go home, let’s roll to see who gets there firs—
Odysseus’s player: I got a critical failure.
Homer: The cyclops asks you who you are. What do you do?
Odysseus’s player: I say, “Who me? I’m nobody.”
Homer: Roll for deception.
Odysseus’s player: I got a natural 20.
Homer: The cyclops now completely believes that your name is Nobody. He shouts for help from the other cyclops but they ignore him because he’s telling them that “Nobody hurt him.”
Odysseus’s player: FUCK yes
for those who love D&D and the classics !!
because apparently this needs to be said AGAIN
in the most general aesthetic terms possible
1600s: most witch-hunts ended in this century. no witches were burned in North America; they were hanged or in one case pressed to death
1700s: the American Revolution. Marie Antoinette. the French Revolution. the crazy King George. most pirate movies
1800-1830: Jane Austen! Pride and Prejudice! those dresses where the waist is right under one’s boobs and men have a crapton of facial hair inside high collars
1830-1900: Victorian. Les Miserables is at the beginning, the Civil War is in the middle, and Dracula is at the end
1900-1920: Edwardian. Titanic, World War I, the Samantha books from American Girl, Art Nouveau
1920s: Great Gatsby. Jazz Age. Flappers and all that. most people get this right but IT IS NOT VICTORIAN. STUFF FROM THIS ERA IS NOT VICTORIAN. DO NOT CALL IT VICTORIAN OR LIST IT ON EBAY AS VICTORIAN. THAT HAPPENS SURPRISINGLY OFTEN GIVEN HOW STAGGERING THE VISUAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ERAS IS. also not 100 years ago yet, glamour.com “100 years of X” videos. you’re lazy, glamour.com. you’re lazy and I demand my late Edwardian styles
I just saw people referencing witch burning and Marie Antoinette on a post about something happening in 1878. 1878. when there were like trains and flush toilets and early plastic and stuff. if you guys learn nothing else about history, you should at least have vague mental images for each era
“Les Miserables is at the beginning, the Civil War is in the middle, and Dracula is at the end” sounds like the longest weirdest worst movie I’d pay to see in theatres five times.
I was eating a peach and got about halfway thru and went to take the seed out above the garbage and my stoned ass held on to the pit and let the rest fall in…….
actual footage of the blogger