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Top 13 Most Awkward Moments on Beverly Hills 90210 - Season 7

Oh my God, you people. I’m so sorry. I’d tell you the story about the last year of my life, but...no.

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1. This. Just...this.

2. The time when David went nuts and yelled something about a potato clock in the middle of a crowded mall.

3. The time when David flipped out on this random woman for expressing concern for him.

4. The time when Kelly and Val had the world's most awkward holiday hug.

5. The time when Tracy became the middle man between Kelly and Val.

6. The time when Steve's mom shows Clare the lingerie she bought for her weekend with Clare's father.

7. The time when Tracy found the ring that Brandon bought for Kelly and thought he was going to propose to her.

8. The time when Steve tried to explain conception to his brother with hand motions.

9. The time when this kid's stepfather looked like this...

10. The time when Donna did this.

11. The time when Brandon met the puppet man.

12. The time when Donna's professor caught her making out with David.

13. The time when Steve's graduation present was a big kiss from his daddy.

#beverly hills 90210 #season seven

Be My (Emily) Valentine

Heh...hehehehe...hi. So, I'm still alive. And I'm here to do a 90210 tribute post to our favorite psychopath, Emily Valentine! Why? Because I hate Valentine's Day and everything it stands for. I'm single. There's a guy I like that I can't be with. And because 90210 just generally makes everything better.

Oh, and also because I love all of you.

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It starts out like any other normal day at West Beverly High. School has just started back again, and everyone is freaking out about this being senior year and all that shit. Andrea has 50000 pencils, Steve has god-awful ugly shirts, Brandon dreams about getting a pedicure...you know, the usual.

However, something changes this year. We meet someone new. An intriguing, bleached blonde, monotone sounding individual who will makes waves. She's only in 12 episodes, but she makes an impression.

Meet Emily Valentine:

That facial expression says it all, folks. (Actually, that's usually just my facial expression whenever she's on screen)

To be fair, Emily's first little bit on the show does not make her out to be the crazy person that she will, indeed, become. Actually, I almost feel a little bad for her. Sure, she makes dates with both Brandon and Dylan, but they're the ones who asked her out. How the hell was she supposed to know the cardinal rule of West Beverly?:

Brandon: I think you’re doing just fine.

Emily: I was, until I broke the 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Go Out With Brenda Walsh’s Boyfriend.

Note: EX-BOYFRIEND! (At the moment)

Now, the rest of the girls treat Emily like absolute shit for no reason other than she's the new girl who all the boys die for (I don't really get it, but that's still no reason to treat her like shit).

Somehow, she makes a bit of amends with the gals and they perform this absolutely dreadful song-and-dance routine to "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do". Emily dresses like this:

And the rest of the girls dress like Kelly and dance in the background and generally do nothing. (Note, Emily also sings horribly off beat and it drives me crazy every single time I watch it.)

So that's Emily's introduction. Let's move on:

Emily is also in two episodes after that, but nothing happens so I don't care. She joins the paper. Whoot.

Episode 4: It's now Halloween. Brandon hates Halloween. Observe him stabbing a pumpkin in rage:

Instead of going to the Halloween party with the rest of the entire school, he stays home, dresses like a Vampire and scares the shit out of Trick or Treaters. Behold, Emily shows up with her two little cousins, and she and Brandon take them Trick or Treating.

Then they lose them.

Well done, guys. You had one job. (Also, Emily sucks at making costumes):

Brandon: I like your costumes.

Lauren: Emily made them!

Drew: She cut holes in a sheet!

Brandon: Wow, wasn’t that creative of her?

Never fear though, all is well. The kids find their way back to the Walsh's and sit on the couch eating Cindy's raisin rejects.

Episode 5: The gang gets invited to Scott's birthday party. It's at his house because apparently Chuck E Cheese was unavailable. Brandon and Emily are less than thrilled, so they pass the time by going upstairs and making out in Scott's bedroom. Which is the most action that room will ever see. (Too soon?)

I mean, I don't know why they wouldn't want to be at the party. Clearly, this party is a HOOT! (This will never not be my favorite picture)

I have no blame for Emily in this episode. Brandon is clearly a douchebag...

Episode 6: Ah, NOW we're talking! This is the U4EA episode. The one where we start to realize that this chick is bananas.

Long story short, Emily invites the gang to a sketchy club. She gives Brandon drugs. Brandon's car gets trashed. The end.

Yeah, my thoughts exactly, David...

Besides, with this quote, Brandon should not be anywhere near drugs:

Emily: See the 4 on his shirt? He sells euphoria.

Brandon: The mood or the drug?

Brandon and Emily break up. Emily doesn't take it so well, which leads us to....

Episode 7: THIS CHICK IS CRAZY PANTS!!

For some reason, Emily ends up staying at the Walsh house even though she and Brandon are on the rocks. She's doing everything she can to get Brandon back.

Like plotting to kill Brenda in her sleep:

And...doing something to Brandon in his sleep. I'm unnerved...

Brandon finally has enough of this shit and tells Emily to take a hike. Emily loses her mind and almost burns down the gang's parade float. (Oh, the horror)

So yeah, she's psycho, but she does leave us with this little gem before she goes to rehab:

“If some of the little bitches get caught in the flames, pass me another marshmallow”

Amen, Emily. Amen.

You'd think we'd seen the last of her, but no. Oh no. The writers love her. And so does Jason Priestley, so she's coming back.

The next time we see her, Brandon visits her in rehab at Christmas. Nothing happens.

Then suddenly, TWO YEARS LATER, Brandon randomly decides that he wants to go to San Francisco to see her. Why? Why why why?

As luck would have it, Brandon jumps on a random cable car once he gets there and just HAPPENS to find her there on the same one. Amazing.

She's doing well, I guess...

Brandon: You seem a lot better now.

Emily: Well I stopped playing with matches.

She may have stopped playing with matches, but she can't cook a turkey for shit.

So, Brandon stays in San Fran with Emily for a bit. They're in love. Because Brandon needed a story line.

Only problem is, Emily has been accepted to a school in France. Brandon tells her to go. They have a heart to heart under a bridge. Emily leaves. Brandon goes home. All is well.

Right?

Right???

WRONG!

ONE YEAR LATER, the actress is still doing Jason Priestley, so she comes back AGAIN! And this time, she ruins everything.

Take note, Brandon and Kelly are together at this point.

Emily comes home from France and asks Brandon to pick her up at the airport. Donna goes, "Excuse me?"

(Ray has no idea because he doesn't know who the hell that is)

Brandon does it anyway because he's an idiot.

Also, please note that Emily comes home from France looking like this...THE HELL???

Emily confesses that she still loves him, Brandon is an idiot. He stays with Emily at her hotel while Kelly almost dies in a fire.

Boyfriend of the year.

In Emily's final episode (for real this time), Brandon now feels like absolute shit because he was with Emily while Kelly was stuck in a fire.

Yes, you should feel very, very, bad about yourself...

Kelly is in the hospital and Brandon frickin' GOES TO SEE EMILY!

Emily actually has the good sense to tell him that Kelly needs him and that even though she loves him, he should be with Kelly.

And thus ends the reign of Emily Valentine.

God bless you, Emily. You may have ruined everything, but I think it's clear that Brandon is the real psychopath here.

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And that's all folks. Hope you enjoy.

ALSO, SURPRISE! I totally just realized that I still have four posts in my queue. Heh...my bad. So, those are coming soon.

#beverly hills 90210 #emily valentine #brandon walsh #valentine #valentine's day

10 Ways To Have The Best Halloween Ever (According to Beverly Hills 90210)

1. Make sure you stab a pumpkin or two in a fit of aneurysm rage.

2. Make sure you pick the most impractical costume on the planet.

3. Make sure you dress your child up like an animal. She won't remember it anyway.

4. Make sure your two boyfriends meet in the most awkward way possible.

5. Make sure you blend in to your surroundings.

6. Make sure you sing songs to children about worms eating their brains.

7. Make sure you stock up on the pumpkins. And put them on your girlfriend's porch like the creepy stalker you are.

8. Make sure you hire a fortune teller to poison all of your food.

9. Make sure you make out in a bunch of cobwebs.

10. Make sure you channel some old lady's dead husband. (Who apparently had a stroke, hence the face.)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE!!

#beverly hills 90210 #halloween

Top 13 Most Awkward Moments on Beverly Hills 90210 - Season 6

1. The time when Brandon got home and found a naked woman in his bed that he had never met before.

2. The time when these seating arrangements were not ideal.

3. The time when Claire realized that Steve was her cyber sex partner.

4. The time when David's mother was way too overzealous about cooking breasts.

5. The time when Susan "met" Cindy Walsh.

6. The time when Steve's idiot half-brother #1 told Val that she looked hot.

7. The time when Claire's father started flirting with Elle, Steve's..."friend".

8. The time when this woman wanted to buy Claire's "boyfriend".

9. The time when Susan's mother walked in on this, after Susan had promised that she and Brandon definitely weren't sleeping together.

10. The time when Steve's idiot half-brother #2 danced like this.

11. This face. Seriously. This face.

12. The time when Kelly's stalker tried to make out with Brandon in the dark room.

13. The time when some guy got fresh with Kelly and she stabbed him in the knee with a fork.

#beverly hills 90210 #season six

Top 10 Most Awkward Moments on Beverly Hills 90210 - Season 5

1. The time when Claire's father came to visit while David was handcuffed to her bed.

2. The time when David and Claire realized that their sex tape was in Felice's VCR.

3. Really though...this entire episode.

4. The time when Jim and Cindy tried to revert back to their glory days.

5. The time when we met this incredibly awkward individual.

6. The time when Dylan met Jonesy.

7. The time when Brandon and Dylan got caught with their pants down.

8. The time when Andrea and Jesse ran into Andrea's almost-lover and his wife at the theatre.

9. The time when this cult wedding happened.

10. The time when both of Ray's women decided to get a piece of him.

11. The time when Brandon got pulled over and the cops found Valerie's stash.

12. The time when Steve discovered that his dream woman was, in fact, a man.

13. The time when Brandon was drunk and disorderly to the point that even Steve was embarrassed.

#beverly hills 90210 #season five

Top 13 Most Awkward Moments on Beverly Hills 90210 - Season 4

1. The time when Donna hid David in her bathroom.

2. This hug. I mean, come on...

3. The time when Andrea lost her virginity and asked Brandon if he thought she looked any different.

4. The time when Brandon discovered that he was kind of dating his professor's wife.

5. The time when Jim and Cindy thought the world was going to see a lot more of Brenda than they wanted it to.

6. The time when Donna's parents interrupted David's sexy times with Donna.

7. The time when Andrea wore this ridiculous outfit.

8. The time when Brandon and Steve decided to check out Jim's man sweater for...no...apparent reason.

9. The time when Dylan's half sister became a woman at the swimming pool and Dylan had no idea how to handle it.

10. The time that Brandon ate Lucinda's face.

11. The time that Brandon and Claire took the world's most uncomfortable prom photo.

12. The time that Donna interrupted her boyfriend having sex with someone else in a limo.

13. The time that both of Brandon's "girlfriends" showed up in Washington and felt him up under the table.

#beverly hills 90210 #season four

Top 13 Most Awkward Moments on Beverly Hills 90210 - Season 3

1. This. Damn. Song.

2. The time when Steve, David and Brandon undressed Andrea in their minds.

3. The time when David had exactly one fan.

4. The time when Andrea got hit by an invisible car.

5. The time when Donna met her Priest in the adult movie section.

6. The time when Brenda and Rick went on a date to the same place that Kelly and Dylan did.

7. The time when Cindy forgot to knock.

8. The time when Jim got turned on by his assistant. Make it stop.

9. This picture. I still don't understand how this happened.

10. The time when Dylan and his dad sang a really terrible duet.

11. The time when Brandon and Andrea almost had sex...again.

12. The time when this guy did not plan his sign well.

13. The time when Steve made out with this random woman in the hallway.

#beverly hills 90210 #season three

Top 13 Most Awkward Moments on Beverly Hills 90210 - Season 2

1. The time when Donna needed "feminine products".

2. The time when Brandon dreamed about getting a pedicure.

3. The time when Brandon didn't like horses.

4. The time when Scott's party was a hoot.

5. The time when David got shushed.

6. The time when David made unnecessary faces while dancing.

7. The time when Dylan described his love for Dim Sum.

8. The time when David bought a condom to the pizza party.

9. The time when Jim decided he was the next big karaoke star.

10. The time when everyone tried to act "normal".

11. The time when the boys invited a stripper over and Andrea offered to take her coat.

12. The time when Andrea didn't understand how to act normal at a wedding.

13. The time when Jim came down to the border to bail out his delinquent daughter, and found her doing this.

#beverly hills 90210 #season two #ain't life grand?

someone else that loves steve exists?????????

Indeed! Indeed! Favorite character by leaps and bounds.

#macmcdonalds

Top 13 Most Awkward Moments on Beverly Hills 90210 - Season 1

BEHOLD! A new photo series!

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1. The time when Cindy walked in on Jackie doing cocaine in the bathroom.

2. These two.

3. This woman.

4. The time when Cindy decided to join the party.

5. The time when David's grandparents offered alcohol to all their underage guests.

6. The time when Brandon wore this outfit.

7. The time when Brandon had fangirls.

8. The time when Andrea turned Steve on by taking off her glasses and lying seductively on the bed.

9. The time when Chandler tried to shoot himself and Brandon didn't know how to respond.

10. The time when this family brought a full blown buffet to the baseball game.

11. This. Just this.

12. The time when Donna couldn't sit down.

13. The time when Andrea's goodbye present to Brandon wasn't what he was expecting.

#beverly hills 90210 #season one #awkward

Top 14 Times Donna Martin Looked Like A Five-Year-Old

Hey look, I'm still alive. And I made a new photo set. (P.S: Something else is coming.)

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1. When she became Bob the Builder.

2. When she won "Best Dressed Five-Year-Old"

3. When she told David to go to his room and hugged her stuffed animal.

4. When she looked like a fuzzy duckling.

5. When she whined.

6. When she looked exactly like a five-year-old would when smoking a cigar.

7. When she had Rugrats hair and a creepy ass smile.

8. When she did gymnastics.

9. When she pouted.

10. When she wore a clown outfit. I feel this is self explanatory.

11. When she wore a baby blue shirt, matching eye shadow and went with the Rugrats hairstyle again.

12. When she wore her hair in pigtails and laid on her bed like this.

13. When she wore her hair like Princess Leia, only worse.

14. When she wore this child's art project.

#beverly hills 90210 #donna martin #tori spelling

Top 10 Beverly Hills 90210 Sports Moments

Slightly delayed, I realize. But in honor of the Superbowl today, I thought I would present to you the top 10 sports moments of Beverly Hills 90210.

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1. Jimbo and his sweat stains look on in anguish as Brandon scores the winning basket.

2. This kid is fed up with someone's shit. ...Probably Brandon's.

3. Steve fails at standing upright.

4. Kyle wants "10 big ones" from Brandon.

5. Dylan and Kelly are going in different directions.(And they clearly suck at volleyball.)

6. Steve makes a winning basket. The entire Walsh family loses their shit.

7. The entire universe stops to watch Rush Sanders make a putt.

8.CU's scary-ass bird mascot takes up permanent residence in the refrigerator.

9. Nat makes an appearance in a cheesy 70's(?) roller derby movie.

10. Brandon "stands up" to his hockey nemesis. Someone should have given him a step stool.

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There are surprisingly not as many as I initially thought, so this post isn't the greatest, but I hope you enjoyed!

#beverly hills 90210 #sports #Brandon Walsh #kelly taylor #steve sanders

Top 15 Christmas Moments

Similar to the Thanksgiving moment countdown, but probably better because there were more Christmas episodes.

1. Kelly doesn't understand the concept of egg whites.

2. Dylan notices that Brandon's tree has a funny odour.

3. The laws of Physics get put aside in the spirit of Christmas.

4. Dylan DOES NOT want to be Santa Claus.

5. Andrea thinks that this is an appropriate outfit to wear to a midnight Mass.

6. David can't take a hint.

7. Hannah is overcome with Christmas spirit.

8. Donna doesn't understand ribbon.

9. Kelly and Valerie are capable of physical contact that doesn't involve some sort of slap and/or punch.

10. Samantha and the Chancellor make their guests flee serenade the party.

11. The blonde kid shatters Zack's hopes and dreams about Santa.

12. Donna takes it upon herself to break into and decorate Noah's boat.

13. Noah hires the wrong kind of Santa.

14. Noah gives Donna a breakfast that just screams "Christmas". A croissant with a candle in it.

15. David and Dylan share a bro-tastic hug at the Christmas tree lot.

Merry Christmas!

#beverly hills 90210 #christmas #brandon walsh #brenda walsh #kelly taylor #steve sanders #dylan mckay #david silver #donna martin #valerie malone

Top 10 90210 Birthday Moments I'm Glad Haven't Happened To Me

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! WHOOT WHOOT!

In honor of that, I present you with a list of "Top 10 90210 Birthday Moments I'm Glad Haven't Happened To Me".

Please enjoy:

1. I'm glad I haven't felt the need to stare at the ceiling because everyone forgot my birthday, and I've been drinking:

2. I'm glad I didn't accidentally shoot myself in the stomach with a gun:

3. I'm glad I didn't make my friends wear these hats:

4. I'm glad I didn't try to starve myself and subsequently put a damper on my party because I almost died.

5. I'm glad my boyfriend didn't decide to dump me because I wasn't putting out.

6. I'm glad my boyfriend didn't give me a painting of Jesus dancing on a birthday cake:

7. I'm glad my boyfriend didn't decide to buy me this damn bird:

8. I'm glad my friends didn't get me a cake with my face on it.:

9. I'm glad I didn't have this reaction to a surprise party.:

10. I'm glad I didn't get tricked into bringing my sort-of-girlfriend to my birthday party, only to have her steal my car when she got there.:

#beverly hills 90210 #birthday #steve sanders #kelly taylor #david silver #donna martin #valerie malone #brandon walsh

Top 10 Thanksgiving Moments

Okay, so I celebrated Thanksgiving a month ago up in Canada, but I know today is Turkey Day down in the good old U S of A. So here are my Top 10 Thanksgiving moments from all 10 seasons of Beverly Hills 90210.

1. Dylan and his father have a loving family dinner together: