It was meant not to be

Kate | 21 | UConn '17 | Future Midwife   My Posts | My Face

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also happy almost 2019 i’m still screaming into the blue void and haven’t changed in 7 years it’s cool

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so i got into school, which is all great and cool and all, except it starts in 7 days and i’m having a complete existential meltdown over whether or not i should actually go through with it right now or take another year off!

like, my mental health sucks, which means my physical health sucks, and i genuinely don’t know if i have a) the mental stamina to study the 50+ hours a week as recommended and b) the physical stamina to get through 10 hr shifts on my shitty feet (or, literally, the physical energy to do.... anything)

& my mom suggested i end my lease early, throw my shit in storage, and move across the country and live at home for a year to focus on getting healthier and being in a better place to start next year, which sounds nice on the surface but has major drawbacks too!!!

literally a) starting now and b) not starting now both have significant significant significant pros and cons and i! don’t!! know!!!! what choice to make!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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guess who just came home way earlier than i expected and without giving me any heads up lmfaoooooo his communication skills are DIRT

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ashdjdsjfltlj communicating with this dude is so painful. just answer the fucking question.

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didn’t drive today (even tho i could’ve made good money) bc my roommate’s out of town and figured it’s a perfect time to pack & move shit out of my room since i can use the hallway as a staging area.

on the very first trip from my first car load to my new place, i fell coming down the stairs, shattered a huge vase, and sprained my ankle real damn bad.

crying like a baby in my car bc idk how i’m going to move the rest of my stuff down the stairs and into my new place tonight and i have no other time to do it. i also work this weekend. also it hurts. what fucking luck.

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shitty weather.

worked 11-7am last night, stayed til 8 for training session, then uber drove 9-3pm & didn’t get home til 4. someone 4-starred me, bringing me back down to 4.96 after i *just* got to 4.97. nobody tipped today.

treated myself to a smoothie bc i’ve been craving one lately and i happened to drive by a smoothie place but it was pretty bad so that’s $8 i literally threw in the trash can.

still haven’t heard anything from uconn.

shitty day.

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relateable

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coworker told me that another aide got accepted into the storrs campus last friday. i’ve heard nothing yet which means i definitely didn’t get into storrs since all campus acceptances go out at the same time.

which means i either got into another campus (the closest which is an hour away from the place i was just forced to sign a lease. storrs is 5 min away). or i didn’t get in at all. either way sucks tho obviously any campus is better than nothing.

shitty shift

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i just hate the tone of “it’s been over a week.” like DUDE. THATS NOT A LONG TIME to expect TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS from someone. jesus.

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trying to formulate a response text to his note but i’m too pissed off lmfaooooo what a dick. uGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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mmmm i love coming home to notes like this. he literally just told me last tuesday that oil came, but gave me NO NOTICE WHATSOEVER that it was being filled. and i know he doesn’t have a conception of how much $200 is to a low hourly wage worker because he doesn’t work and his mommy and daddy pay for everything, but that’s A LOT of money as a SURPRISE bill. when i also had to put down 1600 in 2 weeks for a new apt ALSO thanks to him!!

i just came home all happy about getting the keys to my new place (tho i’m not actually moving in for a few weeks bc i still need to come up with the money for mattress + movers + etc....) and now i’m PISSEDDDDDD

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the july 13th apt went to someone who was able to put the deposit down faster. they don’t have any others in july/aug, so i had to put money down for the june 22nd one, which means i’ll essentially be paying rent for two places. and also i need to have the full deposit plus rent by next week, as opposed to 5 weeks from now.

also i’m still sick and i just got my period.

[funnypicsdept]

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sick in bed, coughing a lung up, go to the bathroom & find a note from roommate saying heating oil came today and i owe him $190. he gave zero indication that the oil was going to be refilled. and i’m scrambling to put $1000 down this week to reserve my studio since i have no savings and was just given notice of my need to leave.

he’s been on his ass playing video games all day as usual, and now i’m debating if i should go out and uber drive, even though i’m sick and this is my ONLY day off for the next week.

i hate him so much.

[sharabp]

Throughly enjoying other restaurants reacting to IHOb

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i reallyyyy needed to sleep this afternoon because a) i have work tonight and b) i have a very sore throat which is always the first sign of getting sick which i literally can not afford right now

but i’m such a combination of excited/stressed about my upcoming move that i can’t close my eyes for 15 min w/o thinking of other stuff i need/want for the place, how i’ll decorate, etc..... gonna regret this tonight!!!

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freaky side note:

(context - i’ve never spoken about my housing/roommate/where i live to my supervisor, or even around her)

this weekend, i was ranting about my housing catastrophe at the nurses’ station. my sup had walked away at one point when i was talking to the others.

30 min later, she comes back to me and says, “i swear on my entire life, last week, i had a dream where you came to me saying you had a housing emergency and were looking for new housing immediately. i walked away while you were talking because i had such strong chills and was so freaked out that i had to go process it elsewhere.” and i was like ?!?!?!??????!? bitch wtf i ain’t superstitious but like??????? the timing of that?!?!?!?