I am feeling really lost and helpless, I know I usually post a lot of text posts like this here on tumblr, but I really have no other outlet for all my stress, anguish and self-doubt.
So right now I'm back to square one. I've been in and out of uni degrees and small jobs here & there...and I just keep feeling like life is pointless.
I don't really have any skills behind me that would be seen as valuable in many employers eyes, nor do I have the self-confidence to portray myself as a dependent, confident, happy, sociable and hard-working member of society who would be an otherwise ideal candidate.
I just want to be happy...what elements of my life need to be chopped and changed to make me feel this way? Or is it all internal? Maybe I could have an ideal job and life set-up and still feel like the empty capsule of a being that I am.
I feel that everyone is disconnected. I also feel that most people know this, yet don't openly talk about or express it.
The days merge into one blur of nothingness. I exist, but I am not living.
Now my carelessness has caused me to make the toughest decision of my life. I've told no-one and I can't win either way. I haven't been able to sleep and I have met a whole new level of sadness that I never knew before. It encapsulates my body, smothers me....my thoughts and guilt feeding this monstrous beast. My tears...a meager attempt at quenching its insatiable thirst.
My mind knows what I must do, but my heart wants the opposite.
This will be the worst day of my life, I just hope that over time I can forgive myself and heal.
prguitarman
amandla
blakekathryn
gracieabrams
romaincrisis
jacobvanloon
ellievsbear
