The Gaggle

Welcome to The Gaggle's Official Tumblr page, where we navigate the relationship between love, technology, ambiguity and modernity through filtered photos, memes, gifs, and byte sized wisdom. For more exploration of the post-dating world go to: www.the-gaggle.com!

[the-gaggle-blog]

We Accept the Emojis We Think We Deserve - The Gaggle

Dating in 2014 is Log-Lady-from-Twin-Peaks level of weird. Unfortunately, it’s becoming clearer that gone are the days of hitting it off with someone at a party, “Can I take you to dinner and a movie?” and walking them to their front door. We now judge whether someone is “into” us off of how they respond and interact with us on social media. This is not a new idea. It’s just (mostly) truth.

I can’t say anything negative about it, really, since one of the main reasons my boyfriend and I are together is because I added him on Snapchat after we hit it off at a mutual friend’s housewarming party. We sent each other snaps of “The Office” season 3, silly faces, and eventually that grew into a real crush. We’ve been together for almost a year. Can I say, without sounding completely cheesy, that I’m absolutely, one hundred percent, in love with him? Because I am, no regrets.

But dating in 2014 can cause severe anxiety attacks. I know from my single days, from my friends who are currently dating, and from coworkers. We have to literally decode everything from, “He/She just favorited my tweet! Oh my God, they just favorited another one?!” to “They sent me that smirk emoji. What does it MEAN?!?!?!?!?” It’s exhausting and tiresome and embarrassing when we realize that while we’re having these kinds of conversations, our parents and grandparents owned houses and had several children by the time they were our age.

Read more!

[the-gaggle-blog]

Late 90's Romantic Teen Comedy Lessons - The Gaggle

I’m currently watching Never Been Kissed (which I own on DVD, but love watching when it comes on TV because it reminds me of simpler times when it was the only way you could catch your favorite movie) and thinking to myself, “They just don’t make them like they used to.”

They just don’t!

The mid to late nineties spawned an unrepeatable generation of teen romantic comedies, predominantly loosely based on timeless stories from literature. What a genius way to make a bunch of butterfly clip wearing, self-obsessed teens learn valuable lessons from great stories. Also, the soundtracks. My god, the soundtracks.

Because I’m feeling old and nostalgic, and channeling my inner teen — who takes up A LOT of room — here’s a list of the best of the best movies that taught us that finding love in high school is like, so totally possible.

Clueless

  Based On: Emma, by Jane Austen

Love Lesson: Playing matchmaker can backfire, majorly.

Life Lesson: Always take a lap around the party before you commit to a location.

Read more!

[the-gaggle-blog]

Don't Be A Dick To Your Partner All Day - The Gaggle

“Science Says Lasting Relationships Come Down To 2 Basic Traits,” is a headline on Business Insider (but really content from the Atlantic OF COURSE because they LOVE faux science relationship research) that grabbed me by the lady balls a couple weeks ago. Having impressively kept the tab open all this time, I am here today to take a closer look at it.

Apparently, the secret to happy relationship is two things: kindness and generosity. Oh, so…just don’t be a dick.

Shouldn’t be too hard, right? WRONG. Take a look at this dismal shit:

The majority of marriages fail, either ending in divorce and separation or devolving into bitterness and dysfunction.

Of all the people who get married, only three in ten remain in healthy, happy marriages, as psychologist Ty Tashiro points out in his book “The Science of Happily Ever After,” which was published earlier this year

According to these statistics, we have a 70 percent chance of ending up in a “bitter and dysfunctional” marriage. Better to know now?

Read more!

[the-gaggle-blog]

In Praise of the Absolute Breakup - The Gaggle

Years ago, a former roommate had a particularly acrimonious breakup with a man we’ll call Frank. They’d fallen hard and fast at first, and everything was sprinkles and roses for eight months. Until one evening over dinner, when Frank told her he wanted to be JUST FRIENDS instead of DATINGPARTNERTHINGS. But, Frank said, he did not want to lose the wonderful friendship they had. So he swore he up and down that they would be buddies, and he would henceforth make every effort to make things not-weird.

This roommate went home tearfully, got drunk, and then proceeded to spend the next six months doing what all naïve heartbreak victims do: she allowed Frank’s barrage of ‘friendly’ text messages, Facebook likes, and mass-emailed happy hour invitations to pour an enormous pile of salt on her infected, open flesh-wound of a heart. He had certainly made good on his promise of platonic kinship, and the more casual offers he dispensed the more the rusty knife in her hopeful little heart twisted.

Their strained relationship rotted quietly for a few months, occasionally bubbling over into a stank mess when mixed with alcohol. Each time it did, she’d melt into a pool on the bar bathroom floor/house party bathroom floor/apartment lobby floor and wail the same old wail: “Why is he [verbage implying sexual congress] that [noun implying a loose woman] and then being totally [adjective referring to Frank’s narcissistic lead-ons to emotionally crippled exes]? Are we even FRIENDSSS?!”

And you know what?

Fuck this type of breakup.

Read more!

[the-gaggle-blog]

So He Says He's "Not a Keeper" - The Gaggle

If someone describes themselves as “not a keeper,” it’s best to believe them and move along.

Check out the video!

[the-gaggle-blog]

Best Lady Tweets! - The Gaggle

It’s time once again to delve into Twitter for some funny, real, excellent tweets by some of the best Lady Tweeters! Because why not take a moment to celebrate smart and hilarious women?

Check out the Tweets!

[the-gaggle-blog]

5 Signs A Person Is Way Too Into You - The Gaggle

Sometimes, you’re dating someone and all of a sudden, it hits you: this person is way more into me, than I’m into them. It’s an awkward moment when that happens. You’ve just started seeing this person and you’re not sure how you feel, but their eagerness turns you off. Has this ever happened to you? Has it happened too late? Here are some signs to help you in the future. Godspeed.

They sneak into your house via chimney.

    Yup, this actually totally happened. A woman in Thousand Oaks, California, wasn’t quite ready to let her relationship with a man named Lawrence stall, so she jammed herself into his chimney, and promptly got stuck. Firefighters had to get her out with dish soap. After they took her to the hospital, she was arrested for “illegal entry and providing illegal information to a peace officer.” Need we explain why pulling the Ole Saint Nick is a bad idea? I think we need not.

Read more!

[the-gaggle-blog]

The Best Lady Tweets - The Gaggle

Welcome back to The Best Lady tweets, in which I pour over Twitter for the best tweets from funny and smart women. Because I think we should celebrate funny and smart women, because why not? So here are some real tweets for y’all to enjoy.

Check out the tweets!

[the-gaggle-blog]

10 Ways to To Tell If Your Boyfriend Is A Pumpkin - The Gaggle

It’s almost Halloween and, with everyone taking the opportunity to wear costumes, it’s easy to get a little confused. Is that your boss, or is it really a 145 pound cat with a receding hairline? Hard to tell, right?

Well, one common concern on a lot of girls’ minds this time of year is whether or not their boyfriend is actually a pumpkin. Did I pick up a cute guy at Trader Joe’s, or was that just an exceptionally flawless gourd on sale? Look, I get it, which is why I have compiled a quick and easy cheat sheet you can discreetly check while watching Hocus Pocus this weekend.

  Is he exceptionally orange without having eaten a Costco-sized bag of carrots?

Have you met his family? Do its members include a spaghetti squash and a zucchini?

Is he pretty hellbent on spreading his seed?

Did he tell you upfront that the relationship probably wouldn’t last much past Thanksgiving?

Read more!

[the-gaggle-blog]

Girl Proposes Marriage To Guy Via Song, And It's Awesome - The Gaggle

I’ve written before about ladies who propose marriage to their gentlemen, like the girl who proposed to her guy with a pillow fort. But I’ve never seen a woman propose marriage to her man via song, and that’s exactly what this couple did. While leading the audience in song, Lisa Lewis threw a twist in there and proposed to boyfriend David Runco Gibbs during their set. Everyone cheered and it was lovely.

To Lisa, I say, that is pretty badass. We see so many romantic proposals where dudes are proposing to their ladies, but so few ladies proposing to dudes! And why is that? I think we’ve just become so sold on a certain “this is the way it has to be” mentality. I can’t even think of a moment in pop culture where a woman proposed to a man. Only 5 percent of married couples say that the woman proposed. I’m trying to picture a big rom com ending with the girl proposing to the guy, and I just can’t see it happening.

And again, why is that? I’ve also read countless women’s magazines and bridal magazines and not once have I seen an article about proposing to your man. But I would totally read that article! Would I ever propose to a guy one day? Probably not, simply for fear he’d say no, because my self esteem is pretty much shot. To me, proposing marriage to a person seems like the scariest thing someone can do, I’m amazed anyone does it at all, let alone in a room full of people during a performance. All the more reason why Lisa is totally bad ass.

Read more!

[the-gaggle-blog]

Overthinking - The Gaggle

Quiet.

[the-gaggle-blog]

Ways To Affirm Suspicions You're Dating A Man Child - The Gaggle

Your gut says you might be dating a man baby, but how can you really be sure unless you read a bunch of Internet lists to confirm your rising suspicions? This handy guide will help you come to a rational conclusion on whether or not you are dating an adult male, a man child, or quite possibly, a five-year old boy.

Owns a toy box.

Throws tantrums when he doesn’t get his way.

Owns gaming console.

Needs reminders about showering.

Puts hands in pants without showing any signs of self-awareness.

Picks nose and wipes it on the couch.

Doesn’t like food touching on his plate.

Starts crying out of exhaustion around 10pm.

Read more!

[iride--scence]

[the-gaggle-blog]

Sometimes, we are so hard to read.

[the-gaggle-blog]

Real Things People Do In Bars - The Gaggle

Have you ever noticed how some of the same scenes play out over and over again when you’re at the bar? If not, maybe you will now!

Check out the video!

[the-gaggle-blog]

A New Theme for Thirty - The Gaggle

I knew everything was going to change when I turned thirty and got married in two consecutive days. But I figured there was no reason to space out these major life events. Bring it on, I told myself. Let’s see what the future holds.

Then nothing changed. My husband and I had been together for a year and a half, and we had moved into a new apartment in the months preceding our wedding. I had already phased out my gaggle of guys and adjusted to a warm and easy routine of contented coupledom. I’d also gone through a ‘process of strategic career adjustment’ (as I deemed it) and was finally embedded in a creative day-to-day of reading about medieval art and philosophy, attempting to write plays, screenplays and novels, and playing music on my piano, flute and guitar.

My world had changed without my noticing it. I realized, with some shock, that I had changed as well.

What had happened to the flitting, pugnacious, amorous and shameless twenty-something lady I had been? How had she disappeared, fading away even from my mind, absolutely, and without saying goodbye?

I became introspective. I had changed, but how and into what? Who had I become?

Read more!

[beyourselftoever]

[the-gaggle-blog]

Cutest power couple ever.

[the-gaggle-blog]

The Best Lady Tweets - The Gaggle

It’s time once again for the Best Lady Tweets! I scope out Twitter for the funniest, truest, greatest tweets written by women, so you don’t have to. Let’s see what we have in store for us this week!

Check out them tweets!