i’ve bought from several of these myself and i know they’re all well known and well acclaimed self owned toy makers. fuck bad dragon, get a way cooler and more ethical toy from any of these places. I esp love love love the ceela model from strange bedfellas but they and a lot of these places offer knotted toys, ovipositor toys, toys that have cum pumps, and of course monster dicks.
Neotori on Etsy is also fantastic, I have 3 sizes of their Mundir. It’s a knotted toy but the surface is VELVETY smooth which helps if you have more a more sensitive lining (like from testosterone, in my case).
I didn’t compile this, it’s by @fewhoneydew (on Twitter and Reddit), but here is a very well maintained masterpost (links to a Google Doc) for those looking for Bad Dragon alternatives!
There is also @safefantasytoys which has a list, and @fantasypackerreviews if you’re looking for packers specifically (rather than toys).
Vulpini Design is also a good one! Very quick response times when I had questions and quick shipping, as well as beautiful toys. The default firmness is perfect imo but you can customize that :)
Gravity Falls is a fascinating exercise in censorship, coding, and implication because one of the main characters is an old man who spent 10+ years homeless, in and out of prison, running drugs across borders, doing sex work to survive etc but the main cartoon canon can’t focus on this obviously. it gets spread out across different material. so yeah Grunkle Stan is genuinely one of my favorite characters.
example: we know he was institutionalized because of an aside in a coloring book. we know he’s on some kind of psychiatric medication from an aside in the DS game.
actually, one of the really clever things that makes it into the show is finding out that one of his old identities was Andrew '8-Ball' Alcatraz. it’s a sly coded message (in a show all about decoding messages) that says Stan Was Incarcerated For Drug Trafficking. (8-Ball is a classic unit of measurement by weight for a few different drugs and Alcatraz is a prison.)
Do you want me to get dressed/take the collar off/put the crop away?
Do you want to talk about it?
I’m here
You’re not a bad person
Top drop/dom drop usually comes from shock, guilt or insecurity about the way you have just treated someone whose well-being you care about very much. Like sub drop, it is usually accompanied by a fall in endorphins and general energy levels. Especially for aces (who I find have a greater need to be in the right mindset/’zone’ for play and intimacy), a ‘snap’ moment where you break out of play mode can throw you emotionally, and the end of play causes a similar reassessment or double-take at what happened during the scene.
Dominants in drop require the same kind of care as subs, but a different kind of reassurance.
As someone who has experienced Dom drop before I cannot stress this enough. Not ever.
Doms do and say a lot of shit sometimes, most of the time it is not an accurate reflection of who we are or at least it is not ALL we are.
I need to know you are ok but I also need to feel like a person after everything is over, so let me hug you and kiss you and give you head pats to show you I care, that I love you.
That I am human.
And you care about me too.
I remember someone in here saying something along the lines of “ I’m not a kink dispensary” and I didn’t completely understand back then, but now I sadly do.
Sub red flags: a checklist for less experienced Doms
Awhile ago, I wrote the above post explaining several red flags and warning signs in Doms for less experienced submissives to be aware of. This is the inverse. Written mostly for inexperienced Doms who are seeking subs, from the perspective of an experienced Dom. I would recommend less experienced subs read as well. My hope is that this post is a resource for others and helps to improve kink safety and understanding. Please remember to research everything you do before you do it and trust your gut. Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with.
Unclear consent/hasty consent
All kinks carry inherent risk. Some have physical risks, some psychological risks, plenty have both. Trust your gut if someone seems too eager to dive into something without fully discussing every possible angle you can think of. Don't ever run into something when you could walk. In kink, you aren't just consenting to the activity, you're consenting to the risks which the activity carries. Don't do anything with anyone who doesn't seem to understand that distinction.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Dynamics are a two way street
One of the most misunderstood aspects of kink is the core element of mutual effort. Generally, less experienced people assume that the Dominant is an active participant, while the sub is a passive one, who simply receives whatever the Dom decides, getting off in the process. While this might work well in a Dark Romance novel it is categorically antithetical to real life BDSM. On a fundamental level, BDSM is a collaborative effort. Both the dominant and submissive are active participants, both have to put forth a lot of effort, both in learning about kink and safety and in actual scenes. While a scene might focus on a sub being a pretty doll for their Dom, just laying there and getting off, that should not be reflective of your actual interpersonal dynamic whatsoever. If a submissive doesn't believe they should have to put in as much effort as you, that's reflective of an unwillingness to put effort into your dynamic or your scene with them.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Boundaries/safewords for doms
Just like a submissive has to consent to everything you do, a Dom also has to consent to everything in a scene. If a sub doesn't respect your boundaries, pushes them without permission, or acts as if your boundaries aren't as important as them getting off go play with someone else
"I have no limits"/"I don't use a safeword"
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
REFUSING TO HONOR A SAFE WORD IS SEXUAL ASSAULT
Subs can assault Doms too.
This is fake. Everyone has boundaries. Some people like saying this doing scenes for fun, which can be fine roleplay, but if they genuinely believe it about themselves they are not emotionally mature enough for kink and are an unsafe partner. Run away.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
"Doms don't need aftercare"
Fake. Run. Unsafe partner.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
"Kink dispenser"
Subs should not view you as just someone who reads their mind and tells them things to get them off. Your needs matter too and all participants in a scene should be attentive to each other's needs and interests. You aren't there just to do whatever they want to get them off the same way they aren't there just to do whatever you want to get you off unless you have specifically agreed that you're both into that AND that the scene is going to be about that.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Mental Health, Aftercare, and Drops
Your mental health is just as important as your physical safety in kink. Any submissive you play with must prioritize your emotional well-being the same way you need to prioritize theirs. There will be times when you feel weird after or during a scene or even bad about yourself. Dominance is stressful. Yours truly was once in a particularly harsh impact scene as a rookie Dom, realized how rough the marks on their thighs were, and experienced a drop feeling like a bad person even though they had specifically asked for what I was doing to them. It's perfectly normal to snap back to reality sometimes and end the scene for your own comfort. In fact, it is unsafe for your own emotional health to Dom anyone when you don't feel up to it. The correct thing to do is to communicate with the sub, pause or end the scene as needed, get feedback, let them know you need reassurance. Its completely normal and valid. If someone doesn't want to reassure you, that's a huge red flag
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Final notes
There are many "Doms" that are bad actors or abusers. They crave power over others not to seek out a mutual consensual fantasy, but because they want to stop other people from saying "No" to them, and have nonconsensual control over their life.
There are also many "subs" who are bad actors or abusers. Some are thrill seeking with little care for their own emotional or physical well-being, putting themselves and their dominant at risk by refusing to learn about safety or respect others boundaries. Some dehumanize Doms, essentially treating them like jerk off machine that doesn't have boundaries or feelings or require any effort.
Any standard you hold for yourself as a dominant, about consent, about boundaries, about safety, should also apply to any submissive you play with. No exceptions. Both Dominance AND submission need to be continuously earned, not given. If someone thinks otherwise...
we NEED intersex specific colloquial words for clitorophalluses. I call my dick a tdick but that only feels half accurate when I already had clitoromegaly before I went on testosterone. I can’t say idick because that sounds like an apple product. some people might like using dickclit/clitdick but I want a word without clit in it for myself. if cis perisex people can have 2 million different slang terms for their junk then I should too
apparently theres a type of testosterone hrt where its a pellet implant (kind of like the birth control pellets)
imagine waking up in a bathtub full of ice, but when you check you still got your kidneys and such, so you just brush it off as getting too drunk. a month later, you start getting hairier and have no clue why. voice dropping, muscles getting bigger, clit looking like its starting to grow into a dick. libido going through the roof thanks to that, and you realize, damn, maybe i *like* these changes
Many jokes about packers flopping out and bouncing away and such but I still wasn't prepared for how genuinely disconcerting it is for a second when your brain has accepted this as Part Of Your Body & your thang fell off. My pebis
2087
kianamaiart
turnnoffyourmind
germansingergirl
yousharknotpass
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
ellievsbear
prguitarman
discoholicmusic
