This blog turned two years old a few days ago. This will be my first post on it in four months.
When I founded this blog, I was coming into my own as a domme. I was learning what I liked and disliked, and this was a fairly safe, entirely opt-in place to explore. For almost a year, it was a wonderful experience. Then things started getting patchy.
A couple of months after starting here, I began a relationship with the male-pronouned Kitten I referred to frequently in my posts. It wasn't a long relationship but the aftermath was extremely drawn out.
This partner was sexually, emotionally and verbally abusive. My relationship with kink has, perhaps irrevocably, been damaged.
The main reason I'm back is to explain that this is best for me right now, and I am safe, and to thank everyone who made this something I wholeheartedly do not regret. Adorable fan, Will, Swooner, Banon, the other people who messaged and reblogged regularly, that guy I talked to orgasm that one time (you know who you are), and every single asexual kinkster who messaged me to say they felt less alone because of me. I felt less alone because of you, too.
Consider this a belated goodbye.
I have one last piece of advice for you, though.
If you ever find yourself in a scene where you are supposed to be on top, and you are supposed to be in control, and you do not feel like that is true, please stop the scene. If anything happens when you're being intimate, sexually, sensually or in kink, and you feel like you don't have a solid grasp of what's happening, stop immediately.
My abuser was submissive, but he was in control of what I was doing in the scene. If this sounds familiar, I'm sorry.
For now, my relationship with kink is tainted by genuine violence. One day I may relearn these feelings, but I suspect that won't be for a long time. Not being kinky is currently the healthiest thing I can do.
So yeah. I'm not a domme right now, and I'm okay with that. I'm in an okay place. It's just not this place.
