the new Hercules

an rp blog of toa Commodus, interactions and asks always welcome. don't hesitate to ask me to tag things bc i have the memory of a sieve.warning, his character has been through a lot of development in the rp that's been happening so if you think he's too nice do keep that in mind as well.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

my kids told me to make an "intro post" sooo

//aka i procrastinated this really badly and then forgot.

name:Lucius Aurelius Commodus Marcus Antoninus

age: 31 older than you

nationality: imperium Romanum

other titles: god emperor,new Hercules,ruler of commodopolis ect ect.

my amazing and wonderful children:

@literally-tinker-bell

@pain-is-forever

@the-son-of-the-sun

@roryandthethorns

@another-argo

@forged-in-fire-and-brimstone

@god-of-smithing-and-cozy-vibes

@littlest-sunbeam-of-hermes

@notaeoluschild

@christmaslightaddict

@demigoddumbass

nemmy: @justice-bringer

little guy i kidnap: @mini-assassin-osiris

keep him away from me: @retired-triumvirate-member

my husband: @hasfuckedagod-willfuckoneup

apollo,but he's pathetic(and it's kind of endearing): @the-eclipsed-sun

coworkers

@that-roman-arsonist

@thenewsun-god

// <- this is how ooc text is signified!

[_] <- actions!

... <- i use that for emphasis when he's pissed bc it looks nice

now for parish announcements:

modus sometimes speaks latin (because it's cool) and i don't. so it's very badly translated,most of the time it'll be italicized like this usually, purely so it's not confusing.

mod is polish(rah🦅🇵🇱) and usually posting at hours 3-5 am,so if something doesn't make sense or seems low effort that's why, apologies in advance.

any sort of bigotry or weird political takes are not my own, obviously. he's an ancient guy, he's got some weird ideals. if you're uncomfortable with that please please tell me so.

I use any pronouns but am most comfortable with it/they/he thanks

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[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Oh, I mean-" Yeah, he knew it was mostly the gods' fault- never showing up for their kids, never protecting them aside from maybe a small gift when they're conceived or born. Honestly, he felt grateful he even got anything, let alone a plant that could help heal his son in weird magical ways that he didn't understand. "I guess, yeah?"

He resisted the urge to laugh at the last comment- no, don't do that, that might be a wrong move. He might kill you for that. "I get a lot of alone time on the road. Time to.. think." He paused for a moment, "But, uh, enough about me. I'm.. sure you've been busy?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

yeah that's just- ignore that, there's history there.

[he debates with himself for a bit]

i mean i stand by it, but not to unload my most vitriolic of hatred into a decent conversation.

[he frowns,he wanted to hear more about the man, preferably everything there was to know]

well about as busy as a general without an enemy can be,the troops are there in tiptop shape and standing aimlessly without orders, it's just tragic is what it is.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"...sure?" Gods, he hated saying 'I' so much. Or 'me'. Or whatever other stuff that refers to himself is. He didn't like constantly talking about himself, it felt odd, out of place. "Not going to ask."

He had no clue whether he was handling this well, didn't know whether he was on the right track to saving himself or not. He sucked some air in through his teeth awkwardly. "Ahh, um, that sounds... peaceful?" He didn't exactly... see anything wrong with there not being any fighting to do, in fact, shouldn't that be a good thing?

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he groans,every bit the bloodshed loving manchild history knew and hated]

peace is boring,makes you weak and complacent,if you don't push men to actually experience the battlefield they start getting ideas!

[he taps his foot]

that and they do need to eat every now and then... gonna have to figure something out soon, they're getting antsy.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He was definitely NOT informed enough to argue about this, even if he thought peace was... kind of the goal. Maybe it was just the uh... times the both of them grew up in, that made them have different mindsets. Either way, he didn't want to end up dead, so he didn't argue.

"Ah-" He stared at Commodus for a moment when he heard that. This man commanded an army of... creatures. Not people, anyway. And those, and he knew that from experience, eat demigods. "R-right. I suppose they do..."

...He was honestly scared this was all a lure to make him bring his son there for the man's army to eat.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he blinks at him]

how do you manage to forget that?

[judging by how scared the guy sounded maybe it wasn't the best idea to remind him...oh well, he'd get over it,, hopefully.

he leans into his space just a little,to really get his point across and for no other reason at all]

look,i could lie to you and say i don't like what i do,but that'd just be mean, wouldn't it?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No- No, I haven't forgotten, just... ah, whatever. It's not important." He raised his hands defensively, nearly knocking over the cup that was on the table, and immediately his eyes fell to said cup, hands flying towards it to keep it from spilling the tea over the table- gods that was stressful.

The moment the emperor got in his space, James wished he was a turtle so he could hide inside a shell or something- he pressed himself to the back of the chair, smiling nervously. "That- that's true, yeah... I'm uh.. glad? That you like your job?"

Gods help him.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he laughs and pats james on the shoulder roughly]

oh man,this is what i mean, you're fun

[well,that and this was quite frankly getting a little too close to uncomfortable territory for a married man to be in,but that's not terribly important for him to know]

I'm just fucking with you,relax!

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Gods-" A small sound escaped him at the contact, he couldn't say he wasn't scared for his safety and his son's right now- his body tensed the moment Commodus made contact with him. "Thank you-?"

How is a man to react to something like this? He's not quite sure this is a... universal experience. It wasn't common at all, probably. Relax? How could he? He couldn't help the stress that came with talking to this man, and the absolutely reckless decisions thet led to this. "Ahem- anyway- uh, is there... any reason you brought me inside...?" Jesus lord or Zeus or whoever the fuck is listening save him..

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he shrugs]

figured you don't have anything better to do.

[he should probably come up with a reason, shouldn't he?]

and i way or not have a request but that's besides the point

[fuck flirting got insanely more difficult in the last few hundred years, didn't it?]

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Oh, I mean-" Yeah, he knew it was mostly the gods' fault- never showing up for their kids, never protecting them aside from maybe a small gift when they're conceived or born. Honestly, he felt grateful he even got anything, let alone a plant that could help heal his son in weird magical ways that he didn't understand. "I guess, yeah?"

He resisted the urge to laugh at the last comment- no, don't do that, that might be a wrong move. He might kill you for that. "I get a lot of alone time on the road. Time to.. think." He paused for a moment, "But, uh, enough about me. I'm.. sure you've been busy?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

yeah that's just- ignore that, there's history there.

[he debates with himself for a bit]

i mean i stand by it, but not to unload my most vitriolic of hatred into a decent conversation.

[he frowns,he wanted to hear more about the man, preferably everything there was to know]

well about as busy as a general without an enemy can be,the troops are there in tiptop shape and standing aimlessly without orders, it's just tragic is what it is.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"...sure?" Gods, he hated saying 'I' so much. Or 'me'. Or whatever other stuff that refers to himself is. He didn't like constantly talking about himself, it felt odd, out of place. "Not going to ask."

He had no clue whether he was handling this well, didn't know whether he was on the right track to saving himself or not. He sucked some air in through his teeth awkwardly. "Ahh, um, that sounds... peaceful?" He didn't exactly... see anything wrong with there not being any fighting to do, in fact, shouldn't that be a good thing?

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he groans,every bit the bloodshed loving manchild history knew and hated]

peace is boring,makes you weak and complacent,if you don't push men to actually experience the battlefield they start getting ideas!

[he taps his foot]

that and they do need to eat every now and then... gonna have to figure something out soon, they're getting antsy.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He was definitely NOT informed enough to argue about this, even if he thought peace was... kind of the goal. Maybe it was just the uh... times the both of them grew up in, that made them have different mindsets. Either way, he didn't want to end up dead, so he didn't argue.

"Ah-" He stared at Commodus for a moment when he heard that. This man commanded an army of... creatures. Not people, anyway. And those, and he knew that from experience, eat demigods. "R-right. I suppose they do..."

...He was honestly scared this was all a lure to make him bring his son there for the man's army to eat.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he blinks at him]

how do you manage to forget that?

[judging by how scared the guy sounded maybe it wasn't the best idea to remind him...oh well, he'd get over it,, hopefully.

he leans into his space just a little,to really get his point across and for no other reason at all]

look,i could lie to you and say i don't like what i do,but that'd just be mean, wouldn't it?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No- No, I haven't forgotten, just... ah, whatever. It's not important." He raised his hands defensively, nearly knocking over the cup that was on the table, and immediately his eyes fell to said cup, hands flying towards it to keep it from spilling the tea over the table- gods that was stressful.

The moment the emperor got in his space, James wished he was a turtle so he could hide inside a shell or something- he pressed himself to the back of the chair, smiling nervously. "That- that's true, yeah... I'm uh.. glad? That you like your job?"

Gods help him.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he laughs and pats james on the shoulder roughly]

oh man,this is what i mean, you're fun

[well,that and this was quite frankly getting a little too close to uncomfortable territory for a married man to be in,but that's not terribly important for him to know]

I'm just fucking with you,relax!

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Oh, I mean-" Yeah, he knew it was mostly the gods' fault- never showing up for their kids, never protecting them aside from maybe a small gift when they're conceived or born. Honestly, he felt grateful he even got anything, let alone a plant that could help heal his son in weird magical ways that he didn't understand. "I guess, yeah?"

He resisted the urge to laugh at the last comment- no, don't do that, that might be a wrong move. He might kill you for that. "I get a lot of alone time on the road. Time to.. think." He paused for a moment, "But, uh, enough about me. I'm.. sure you've been busy?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

yeah that's just- ignore that, there's history there.

[he debates with himself for a bit]

i mean i stand by it, but not to unload my most vitriolic of hatred into a decent conversation.

[he frowns,he wanted to hear more about the man, preferably everything there was to know]

well about as busy as a general without an enemy can be,the troops are there in tiptop shape and standing aimlessly without orders, it's just tragic is what it is.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"...sure?" Gods, he hated saying 'I' so much. Or 'me'. Or whatever other stuff that refers to himself is. He didn't like constantly talking about himself, it felt odd, out of place. "Not going to ask."

He had no clue whether he was handling this well, didn't know whether he was on the right track to saving himself or not. He sucked some air in through his teeth awkwardly. "Ahh, um, that sounds... peaceful?" He didn't exactly... see anything wrong with there not being any fighting to do, in fact, shouldn't that be a good thing?

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he groans,every bit the bloodshed loving manchild history knew and hated]

peace is boring,makes you weak and complacent,if you don't push men to actually experience the battlefield they start getting ideas!

[he taps his foot]

that and they do need to eat every now and then... gonna have to figure something out soon, they're getting antsy.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He was definitely NOT informed enough to argue about this, even if he thought peace was... kind of the goal. Maybe it was just the uh... times the both of them grew up in, that made them have different mindsets. Either way, he didn't want to end up dead, so he didn't argue.

"Ah-" He stared at Commodus for a moment when he heard that. This man commanded an army of... creatures. Not people, anyway. And those, and he knew that from experience, eat demigods. "R-right. I suppose they do..."

...He was honestly scared this was all a lure to make him bring his son there for the man's army to eat.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he blinks at him]

how do you manage to forget that?

[judging by how scared the guy sounded maybe it wasn't the best idea to remind him...oh well, he'd get over it,, hopefully.

he leans into his space just a little,to really get his point across and for no other reason at all]

look,i could lie to you and say i don't like what i do,but that'd just be mean, wouldn't it?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No- No, I haven't forgotten, just... ah, whatever. It's not important." He raised his hands defensively, nearly knocking over the cup that was on the table, and immediately his eyes fell to said cup, hands flying towards it to keep it from spilling the tea over the table- gods that was stressful.

The moment the emperor got in his space, James wished he was a turtle so he could hide inside a shell or something- he pressed himself to the back of the chair, smiling nervously. "That- that's true, yeah... I'm uh.. glad? That you like your job?"

Gods help him.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he laughs and pats james on the shoulder roughly]

oh man,this is what i mean, you're fun

[well,that and this was quite frankly getting a little too close to uncomfortable territory for a married man to be in,but that's not terribly important for him to know]

I'm just fucking with you,relax!

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Oh, I mean-" Yeah, he knew it was mostly the gods' fault- never showing up for their kids, never protecting them aside from maybe a small gift when they're conceived or born. Honestly, he felt grateful he even got anything, let alone a plant that could help heal his son in weird magical ways that he didn't understand. "I guess, yeah?"

He resisted the urge to laugh at the last comment- no, don't do that, that might be a wrong move. He might kill you for that. "I get a lot of alone time on the road. Time to.. think." He paused for a moment, "But, uh, enough about me. I'm.. sure you've been busy?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

yeah that's just- ignore that, there's history there.

[he debates with himself for a bit]

i mean i stand by it, but not to unload my most vitriolic of hatred into a decent conversation.

[he frowns,he wanted to hear more about the man, preferably everything there was to know]

well about as busy as a general without an enemy can be,the troops are there in tiptop shape and standing aimlessly without orders, it's just tragic is what it is.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"...sure?" Gods, he hated saying 'I' so much. Or 'me'. Or whatever other stuff that refers to himself is. He didn't like constantly talking about himself, it felt odd, out of place. "Not going to ask."

He had no clue whether he was handling this well, didn't know whether he was on the right track to saving himself or not. He sucked some air in through his teeth awkwardly. "Ahh, um, that sounds... peaceful?" He didn't exactly... see anything wrong with there not being any fighting to do, in fact, shouldn't that be a good thing?

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he groans,every bit the bloodshed loving manchild history knew and hated]

peace is boring,makes you weak and complacent,if you don't push men to actually experience the battlefield they start getting ideas!

[he taps his foot]

that and they do need to eat every now and then... gonna have to figure something out soon, they're getting antsy.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He was definitely NOT informed enough to argue about this, even if he thought peace was... kind of the goal. Maybe it was just the uh... times the both of them grew up in, that made them have different mindsets. Either way, he didn't want to end up dead, so he didn't argue.

"Ah-" He stared at Commodus for a moment when he heard that. This man commanded an army of... creatures. Not people, anyway. And those, and he knew that from experience, eat demigods. "R-right. I suppose they do..."

...He was honestly scared this was all a lure to make him bring his son there for the man's army to eat.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he blinks at him]

how do you manage to forget that?

[judging by how scared the guy sounded maybe it wasn't the best idea to remind him...oh well, he'd get over it,, hopefully.

he leans into his space just a little,to really get his point across and for no other reason at all]

look,i could lie to you and say i don't like what i do,but that'd just be mean, wouldn't it?

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Oh, I mean-" Yeah, he knew it was mostly the gods' fault- never showing up for their kids, never protecting them aside from maybe a small gift when they're conceived or born. Honestly, he felt grateful he even got anything, let alone a plant that could help heal his son in weird magical ways that he didn't understand. "I guess, yeah?"

He resisted the urge to laugh at the last comment- no, don't do that, that might be a wrong move. He might kill you for that. "I get a lot of alone time on the road. Time to.. think." He paused for a moment, "But, uh, enough about me. I'm.. sure you've been busy?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

yeah that's just- ignore that, there's history there.

[he debates with himself for a bit]

i mean i stand by it, but not to unload my most vitriolic of hatred into a decent conversation.

[he frowns,he wanted to hear more about the man, preferably everything there was to know]

well about as busy as a general without an enemy can be,the troops are there in tiptop shape and standing aimlessly without orders, it's just tragic is what it is.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"...sure?" Gods, he hated saying 'I' so much. Or 'me'. Or whatever other stuff that refers to himself is. He didn't like constantly talking about himself, it felt odd, out of place. "Not going to ask."

He had no clue whether he was handling this well, didn't know whether he was on the right track to saving himself or not. He sucked some air in through his teeth awkwardly. "Ahh, um, that sounds... peaceful?" He didn't exactly... see anything wrong with there not being any fighting to do, in fact, shouldn't that be a good thing?

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he groans,every bit the bloodshed loving manchild history knew and hated]

peace is boring,makes you weak and complacent,if you don't push men to actually experience the battlefield they start getting ideas!

[he taps his foot]

that and they do need to eat every now and then... gonna have to figure something out soon, they're getting antsy.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Oh, I mean-" Yeah, he knew it was mostly the gods' fault- never showing up for their kids, never protecting them aside from maybe a small gift when they're conceived or born. Honestly, he felt grateful he even got anything, let alone a plant that could help heal his son in weird magical ways that he didn't understand. "I guess, yeah?"

He resisted the urge to laugh at the last comment- no, don't do that, that might be a wrong move. He might kill you for that. "I get a lot of alone time on the road. Time to.. think." He paused for a moment, "But, uh, enough about me. I'm.. sure you've been busy?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

yeah that's just- ignore that, there's history there.

[he debates with himself for a bit]

i mean i stand by it, but not to unload my most vitriolic of hatred into a decent conversation.

[he frowns,he wanted to hear more about the man, preferably everything there was to know]

well about as busy as a general without an enemy can be,the troops are there in tiptop shape and standing aimlessly without orders, it's just tragic is what it is.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Pspspspspsps

slips the new pictures of your husband under the door

..... I'll be taking that

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[hasfuckedagod-willfuckoneup]

[he wordlessly walks up behind lucas and wraps his around him]

hi,please try not to kill anybody.

@the-great-emperor-commodus

The man didn’t even flinch at the touch, a sudden arm wrapping around him when he’s alone in his room? Usually he’d at least be uneasy for a second before he recognizes it, but this didn’t take even a moment of hesitation. He’s practically memorized just how that hold feels around his body, the way those familiar hands felt against him. It was almost instinctual, the way Lucas gently laid back against Commodus.. mmh.. it was all so familiar, and so great, so deliciously comfortable for the man. He just made a little pleased hum at the feeling of gentle warmth against him from his husband’s body, his own arms gently wrapping over Commodus’ wordlessly sitting there for a moment.

Gods he loves this man, at this point it felt like they fit together, every time his hand drifted to the man’s hair or gently intertwined their fingers, it felt like things were just clicked right into place. And this… yeah, it definitely helped with his annoyance from earlier. The surprising kindness of the creatures nearby actually made most of it fade away- but this definitely made it leave his mind. If the man could, he’d let out a purr at just how content he felt in this position. One hand moved from its position above his lover’s, now moving to gently tilt Commodus’ head as it rested behind him. Lucas gently moved a bit, just enough to leave a kiss on his husband’s face, “Nimis bonus es mihi, amor meus...”

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he smiled, this was nice,he leans further into the touch, like some sort of oversized dog receiving pets]

no such thing,you deserve the world and more

[he nuzzles his neck, debating if asking about this was a good idea..]

so uh, wanna tell me what happened exactly?

[did somebody do something? was there an issue? who needed to pay for angering his dear husband?]

[hasfuckedagod-willfuckoneup]

“My love, nothing really happened. Just sorta. I don’t know… just woke up angry. Was in a bad mood and all..” he glanced to the window and gave an awkward chuckle, “..and my sketchbook suffered that price-“

Yeah he’d thrown that out the window this morning in frustration. Really, he had no idea why he was so mad this morning.. he just stayed leaned into Commodus and smiled, gods he loves this man.. yeah, this definitely helped. He stayed all leaned peacefully against him, good gods he had to stop himself from just peppering this beautiful man in kisses, he’s so sweet, so amazing… “Mmh… I love you, modus..”

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sucks in a breath Through his teeth,well that doesn't sound too good]

anything you need? maybe taking it easy today is a good idea?

[it's not that he didn't believe lucas,he did.... mostly, it's just that the man has a history of not wanting to talk about his issues,and this felt exactly like trying to avoid them again.

he sighs and tries not to Worry about it, it's not like he can force the man to divulge anything...]

love you too,more than anything.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Who tops, you or Lucas

depends on the day

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[hasfuckedagod-willfuckoneup]

[he wordlessly walks up behind lucas and wraps his around him]

hi,please try not to kill anybody.

@the-great-emperor-commodus

The man didn’t even flinch at the touch, a sudden arm wrapping around him when he’s alone in his room? Usually he’d at least be uneasy for a second before he recognizes it, but this didn’t take even a moment of hesitation. He’s practically memorized just how that hold feels around his body, the way those familiar hands felt against him. It was almost instinctual, the way Lucas gently laid back against Commodus.. mmh.. it was all so familiar, and so great, so deliciously comfortable for the man. He just made a little pleased hum at the feeling of gentle warmth against him from his husband’s body, his own arms gently wrapping over Commodus’ wordlessly sitting there for a moment.

Gods he loves this man, at this point it felt like they fit together, every time his hand drifted to the man’s hair or gently intertwined their fingers, it felt like things were just clicked right into place. And this… yeah, it definitely helped with his annoyance from earlier. The surprising kindness of the creatures nearby actually made most of it fade away- but this definitely made it leave his mind. If the man could, he’d let out a purr at just how content he felt in this position. One hand moved from its position above his lover’s, now moving to gently tilt Commodus’ head as it rested behind him. Lucas gently moved a bit, just enough to leave a kiss on his husband’s face, “Nimis bonus es mihi, amor meus...”

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he smiled, this was nice,he leans further into the touch, like some sort of oversized dog receiving pets]

no such thing,you deserve the world and more

[he nuzzles his neck, debating if asking about this was a good idea..]

so uh, wanna tell me what happened exactly?

[did somebody do something? was there an issue? who needed to pay for angering his dear husband?]