The Hipster's Cat @the-hipsters-cat - Tumblr Blog

I’m imagining the epilouge but with Neville’s kid instead of Harry’s.

Sensibly Named Child: Dad, what if the hat puts me in Slytherin?

Neville: Then it means you really are a Slytherin. Do you have any idea how hard I begged to be a Hufflepuff? How hard I argued with the hat against Gryffindor? And you know what, it turns out the hat was right and I pulled the sword out of the hat and killed the snake. It’s a magical hat and you’re an eleven year old who thinks Axe works to attract girls. You know nothing, listen to the hat.

iratetreasure-deactivated202310

AMEN

znorton

Why is Smokey so jacked? I feel like this artist is going to turn out to be a furry porn artist.

waterhouse61

A dead giveaway you aren’t from California. There are posters of Smokey the Bear all over here, and I’ve never seen one where he wasn’t ripped.

thetrashiestoftrash

Counterpoint: there are a lot of furries in California

juxtp0se

did U GUYS KNOW, that the way stores get the balloons off of the ceiling is with ANOTHER balloon, w tape on the top??? and they just dont cut the string so it’s like super long and u gotta aim it right n reel it in. i just found that out today when i DID IT and it’s been the best working day of my life i had a blast blowing up balloons and fetching some off the ceiling. i had so much power? and NO ONE ELSE in my department likes that job so now it’s MY job when need be

goddamnshinyrock

omg so I work at a museum and one of our buildings has a) very high ceilings and b) a bizarrely sensitive alarm system that will go off if anything touches the ceiling. Because of this, helium balloons are considered public enemy #1 and are strictly forbidden from entering the museum. But just in case an illicit balloon is successfully smuggled in, the museum has acquired a fucking b.b. gun for the express purpose of shooting down rogue balloons.

fer8girl

lawful good vs chaotic good

nyanguardparty

chaotic evil

succulentbud

those art references that are like “men are straight lines, women are curved” absolutely flare my dysphoria and alerts to me the OP is cis

succulentbud

*condescending art major voice* THESE

are the two genders

o6eiyrskb4hg7rix8hih-deactivate

what the fuck is bandersnatch. what the fuck is bird box. i am watching fantastic four rise of the silver surfer

gdi-fridays

Birdbox Bandersnatch is that one actor from sherlock

susiephone

favorite story: apparently, while filming “black swan,” the director would try to pit mila kunis and natalie portman against each other, telling them that the other woman was doing a better job, in hopes of making their characters’ rivalry seem more authentic. but it completely backfired, since instead of getting angry or competitive, natalie and mila would just congratulate each other on doing such good work.

firey-rising-demon-deactivated2

Directors who do stuff like this are pieces of shit

professorsparklepants

What men think women are like verses what women are actually like

iconicpopstar

also this:

catlovesmocalike

Let’s name the director: Darren Aronofsky. He has since directed mother! where he forced Jennifer Lawrence to reshoot a scene after she broke a rib or something. He is still really praised in cinephile circles, which is why I want to name and shame him.

thestraggletag

And let us all admit that directors like Darren Aronofsky are not being praised DESPITE this behaviour but rather BECAUSE of it. They’re seen as edgy and willing to take risks and do what needs to be done, no matter the fallout, to get the perfect shot. They take risks for their art. Except, of course, they don’t. They make other take risks, they push and damage other people, not themselves.

cerusee

Darren Aronofsky banned bottled water on the set of “Noah”, and after a long day of filming, Emma Watson came back to her trailer so exhausted and dehydrated that she unthinkingly drank a glass of water that had been left sitting out for weeks, maybe months. The water had gotten filthy by that point, and it made her horrifically ill. When she told Aronofsky that she was sick, he refused to let her take a break from filming. He told her to “use it”.

Aronofsky’s a manipulative, abusive POS.

fumblebeefae

Me: here’s this scientific study on how people that are for free-roaming cats and criticise keeping cats indoors have no evidence to base their criticisms on and ignore any sort of research on the harm cats do

people, with zero hint of irony: actually it’s totally fine to let cats free-roam. I let my cat do it.

Me:

frogb0t

Unironically what is the issue with allowing free-roaming cats if you don’t live in areas with coyotes or hogs? I’ve never really heard about it being bad, so why is it?

meangirlnurse

aside from other welfare issues for the cat (cars, unkind humans, dogs, poison), free-ranging cats decimate wildlife populations and have driven a number of species to extinction

mangroveswampenthusiast

Isn’t that just nature tho??

meangirlnurse

your introduced domestic housepet is not part of “nature,” no

weregarurumon

No matter where you live,

-cats can get hit by cars. In colder places, cats also tend to curl up above car tires for warmth and then get killed when they car owner pulls away from their parking spot

-cats that aren’t spayed or neutered contribute to cat overpopulation. That’s more stay kittens out there without homes and spreading disease.

-cats can get locked in sheds or barns if they sneak in when someone isn’t looking, get injured and starve.

-domesticated cats don’t need to hunt for food, so they hunt for play instead. If they are not getting the stimulation they need at home, they’ll break the neck of a bird or squirrel and then play with the body until they get bored of it. This is harming the local wildlife.

-cats can get caught in traps set by less-than-kind humans.

-cats can get attacked by dogs or other larger animals.

Look, I’m saying this as someone who currently owns an indoor cat (who used to be a stray) and used to own two outdoor cats (who are now dead), you are taking a huge risk letting them roam outside, both to their health and the local ecosystem.

“But it’s not fair to keep him cooped up inside all day! He’s an animal! He’s bored inside!”

Then you need to buy him some toys and play with your cat more. Even a crumpled up paper ball or a shoelace is fine if you don’t want to spend very much. Your cat just wants to play.

“My cat is allowed out all the time and she’s never died. She’s smart!”

And I’ve gone swimming in the ocean every summer and never drowned, therefore, drowning is a myth, right? Throw away the life vests and tell the lifeguards they’re fired because I’ll be just fine. I’ve also never died in a car accident, so let’s get rid of seatbelts while we’re at it.

You know what happened to my very first cat? He contracted feline leukaemia and had to be put down. My second cat? He had been a strictly indoor cat until I moved and left him in my parents’ care. He was found dead under their neighbour’s back patio. They only found him because of the stench. My dad thinks he ate something poisonous.

Jfc people, please stop treating cats with less care and respect you’d treat a dog. Stop treating them like they’re disposable pets. Stop acting like you know more than veterinarians and years upon years of data. If you can’t be a responsible cat owner, then you shouldn’t have a cat.

doctortay-deactivated20210629

thatwriterchickyouknow

Cat harnesses and leashes are also a thing, so if you want your cat to have outdoor exposure, invest in one. And yes, if they’ve never been on a leash before, they’re going to probably hate it and fight you, but so would a dog until they’re leash trained. And if you’re the kind of person who thinks a dog needs to be on a leash or otherwise prevented from wandering/getting out of a controlled area when outdoors but a cat doesn’t, then you shouldn’t have a cat, period.

dragonsintheattic

I keep getting shocked responses when people ask how old Newt and Jonesy were when they passed away.

It’s like they don’t know that cats can live to be nineteen and nearly-eighteen respectively - and then I find out that they mostly have outdoor or indoor-outdoor cats.

Conversely… when I find out that those people haven’t had a pet cat make five years old yet let alone a decade… well, I’m looking at people who lost three cats in a row to poisoning; I’m looking at people who have had multiple cats knocked down by cars … and I just want to ask “how many does it take before you LEARN what happens to cats that go outside in your area? How many kittens do you have to lose before you decide to stop having cats - or keep them indoors?”

apersnicketylemon

Cat’s are also being introduced as a land predator to places that never previously had land predators. There are animals who never evolved to handle land predators because they simply did not exist. They’re now endangered or extinct due to your pet being an INVASIVE SPECIES that you ALLOWED to become one by not being a responsible pet owner.

Cats decimating local wildlife and destroying other species is not ‘nature’. They are an invasive species that doesn’t belong and never belonged. Stop letting them roam. It’s never been okay.

falling-out-trees-101

No offence, but I’ll let my cat go outside whenever it wants. My cat gets very restless and sometimes will get aggressive if it can’t go outside to get some excersize. The bet even told us to let out cat outside more so it gets proper excersize and doesn’t become overweight.

fumblebeefae

Full offense but you’re a lazy and bad pet owner. Instead of providing your cat with the toys, climbs, and play it needs to be happy and healthy in doors or by taking it for walks with a leash or building an outdoor cat enclosure or securing your yard to make it cat escape proof, you’ve decided to just toss your cat outside unsupervised.

Hope, for the sake of your cat, someone better picks it up off the streets and gives it the proper care it needs.

nonbinary-hawke-deactivated2021

“My three year old child is so destructive :/ She just won’t sit still and is always messing around! Guess I’ll just toss her outside to get some exercise, no supervision needed!”

groupthinker

violaslayvis

This is what I call mutual aid & working-class solidarity

groenendaze

if u put dogs in scarves u get………this

completed-nihilism-blog

labiodentist-deactivated2015021

what. why? someone pls explain to me pls i wasnt born yet in 1999 why turn computer off before midnight? what happen if u dont?

awhdjksadaluigsjkdfasdk-deactiv

y2k lol everyone was like “the supervirus is gonna take over the world and ruin everything and end the world!!!”

jibini

This is the oldest I’ve ever felt. Right now.

the-ilyasaurus-deactivated20160

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU WEREN’T BORN YET IN 1999.

faisdm

Ahh the Millenium bug.

It wasn’t a virus, it was an issue with how some old computers at the time were programmed to deal with dates. Basically some computers with older operating systems didn’t have anything in place to deal with the year reaching 99 and looping around to 00. It was believed that this inability to sync with the correct date would cause issues, and even crash entire systems the moment the date changed.

People flipped out about it, convinced that the date discrepancy between netwoked systems would bring down computers everywhere and shut down the internet and so all systems relying on computers, including plane navigation etc. would go down causing worldwide chaos. It was genuinely believed that people should all switch off computers to avoid this. One or two smart people spoke up and said “um hey, this actually will only effect a few very outdated computers and they’ll just display the wrong date, so it probably won’t be harmful” but were largely ignored because people selling books about the end of the world were talking louder.

In the end, absolutely nothing happened.

ralfmaximus

Oh gosh.

I’ve been a programmer working for various government agencies since the early 1990s and I can say with some confidence:

NOTHING HAPPENED BECAUSE WE WORKED VERY HARD FIXING SHIT THAT MOST DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE BROKEN ON 1-JAN-2000.

One example I personally worked on: vaccination databases.

My contract was with the CDC to coordinate immunization registries — you know, kids’ vaccine histories. What they got, when they got it, and (most importantly) which vaccines they were due to get next and when. These were state-wide registries, containing millions of records each.

Most of these systems were designed in the 1970s and 1980s, and stored the child’s DOB year as only two digits. This means that — had we not fixed it — just about every child in all the databases I worked on would have SUDDENLY AGED OUT OF THE PROGRAM 1-JAN-2000.

In other words: these kids would suddenly be “too old” to receive critical vaccines.

Okay, so that’s not a nuke plant exploding or airplanes dropping from the sky. In fact, nothing obvious would have occurred come Jan 1st.

BUT

Without the software advising doctors when to give vaccinations, an entire generation’s immunity to things like measles, mumps, smallpox (etc) would have been compromised. And nobody would even know there was a problem for months — possibly years — after.

You think the fun & games caused by a few anti-vaxers is bad?

Imagine whole populations going unvaccinated by accident… one case of measles and the death toll might be measured in millions.

This is one example I KNOW to be true, because I was there.

I also know that in the years leading up to 2000 there were ad-hoc discussion groups (particularly alt.risk) of amazed programmers and project managers that uncovered year-2000 traps… and fixed them.

Quietly, without fanfare.

In many cases because admitting there was a problem would have resulted in a lawsuit by angry customers. But mostly because it was our job to fix those design flaws before anyone was inconvenienced or hurt.

So, yeah… all that Y2K hysteria was for nothing, because programmers worked their asses off to make sure it was for nothing.

spytap

Bolding mine.

jaybushman

Absolutely true. My Mom worked like crazy all throughout 1998 and 1999 on dozens of systems to avoid Y2K crashes. Nothing major happened because people worked to made sure it didn’t.

Now if we could just harness that concept for some of the other major issues facing us today.

shananaomi

this meme came so far since i saw it this morning. god i love tumblr teaching tumblr about history.

forloveofreason

As a young Sys Admin during Y2K, I can confirm that it was SRS BZNS. I worked for a major pharmaceutical company at the time. They spent millions of dollars on consultant and programmer hours, not to mention their own employees’ time, to fix all their in-house software as well as replace it with new systems. Sys Admins like myself were continually deploying patches, updating firmware, and deploying new systems in the months leading up to Y2K. Once that was done, though, the programmers went home and cashed their checks.

When the FATEFUL HOUR came along, it wasn’t just one hour. For a global company with offices in dozens of countries, it was 24 hours of being alert and on-call. I imagine that other large organizations had similar setups with entire IT departments working in shifts to monitor everything. Everyone was on a hair trigger, too, so the slightest problem caused ALL HANDS ON DECK pages to go out.

Yes, we had pagers.

For hard numbers IDC’s 2006 calculation put the total US cost of remediation, before and after, at $147 billion - that’s in 1999 dollars. That paid for an army of programmers, including calling up retired grandparents from the senior center because COBOL and FORTRAN apps from the ‘60s needed fixing.

Also note that there were some problems, including $13 billion in remediation included in the figure above. Some of these involved nuclear power plants, medical equipment, and “a customer at a New York State video rental store had a bill for $91,250, the cost of renting the movie ‘The General’s Daughter’ for 100 years.”

Y2K was anything but nothing.

tamashiihiroka-deactivated20200

Reblogging because this is a side to the story I had never heard.

phantomonabudget

Yes, but also there are people who weren’t born yet in 1999 and they’re old enough to be on the internet.

australopithecusrex

Everything about this is just….wow.

shoshanah-ben-hohim

My dad, who was a reporter for Business Day at the New York Times, started covering Y2K in the late 1980s.

That’s how early people started figuring out there was going to be a problem and working on a massive effort to fix all their systems, a huge undertaking that brought them right up through January 1, 2000.

And that’s why nothing happened. Although no one knew for sure nothing would happen until it didn’t - they just had to wait and hope.

myothertardisisonthemun

Remember to turn your computer off before midnight 31/12/99

slasherwitch

Neat

grawly

folks it is with great pleasure i announce that 19 years after Y2K we are 19 years away from more potential bullshit

lovethedanielhd

He can do whatever he wants

#venom as the tsumtsum things is the cutest thing ever #venom

eutaktos-deactivated20190609

one of these days i’m going to have an actual aneurysm

otherwindow

A magical girl series where the girls transform into their DnD characters.

otherwindow

Imagine being a typical shojo super villain and seeing an anime girl transform into a fucking Orc.

otherwindow

Not even a cute anime Orc, just a realistically drawn Warcraft Orc named Mo’Gar Skullcrush or something.

None of the girls in the group transform into cute Elves. It’s just Lady Stormbeard the Dwarf ranger. Skeletal Lich Bellinde Bloodless. GrhhuHghh the Goblin cleric. Every villain they meet is fucking terrified.