The Honorable Judge Rattus

All rise, the court is in session. Rat verdict statistics: 4 guilty vs 16 not guilty

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

About This Court:

She/her/your honor

"I believe you should be judged by a jury of your peers" - Judge Rattus

To learn about our services please click to reveal more.

Criminal Cases

Send in cases of rat crimes for me to judge. Be sure to include what you think the rat or rats are guilty of. If you would like to sway my opinion please include evidence. Feel free to reblog with more evidence if you want to appeal.

Example:

This rat has eaten all the cheese!!! Punish her for her glutinous crimes!!!

Exhibit A

Rat Marriage

We offer marriage and divorce services. This includes LGBTQIA+ and poly rats. Send in the names and pictures of rats you wish to legally, by rat law, have marry. You will get a digital marriage certificate for them!

Rat Divorce

Unfortunately things happen. We will get this solved quickly and discretely for you. If they would like to see a marriage counselor before splitting I think we can manage that too.

Rat Defense Team

I am a judge. I cannot go out and get my own cases. @rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group is who you want to call if you're a rat in trouble. Sometimes they may bring in some cases.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

I will be retiring soon. I've had over 13,000 cases in my career and now a new rat judge will be taking my place on the bench.

[ratsquinks]

imprisoned... for no raeson at all. i am just a little babygirl :(

[mallardducksaysquack]

@rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group Something very wrong going on here.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Actually I can answer this one. This rat was charged with being too cute and found guilty in a court of rat law. No lawyer will take this case as it's impossible to win. Typically rat society just lets the law slide but sometimes a rat does something to call attention to the crime they are committing and charges get pressed. A rat judge then decides their fate. I was not the judge in this case but the verdict is clear.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Your honour I present evidence of criminal damage to the sofa during snuggles under blanket time. It should also be noted that Bramble was seen vandalising said sofa in the past and clearly shows no remorse.

The court is now in session! @c1tr4n1um will be representing the defendant, Bramble, pro bono in this case.

The court calls the first expert, Dr. Banana Psy.D. to please take the stand. Let the record show Dr. Banana is an expert in the psychology of rodent behavior, specifically specializing in rodent remorse and facial expressions.

Dr. Banana, in your own words can you explain what we are seeing here.

Dr. Banana: Certainly your honor! Might I start by saying rodent psychology is such a fascinating field of interest for young rodents to get into and is part of the reason I'm here today! The defendant is, in my expert opinion, showing not only remorse, but also sympathy for the victim's duress! Interestingly enough, this is exactly what we'd expect of a rat, vs let's say a grasshopper mouse who shows absolutely no remorse for their victims! The defendant's facial expression is also showing signs of confusion for the situation, similar to the common ground hog!

Dr. Banana: Back at the university, we ran a scientific poll between other experts in both rat and rodent psychology. The results, as shown in exhibit A, clearly indicate an overwhelming finding that the defendant is expressing remorse! I'd also like to add your honor that Bramble has an innocent facial expression.

Exhibit A :

Thank you for your testimony Dr. Banana. Very compelling evidence!

@c1tr4n1um would you like to ask the current expert any questions, bring evidence to the court, call a witness or your client to the stand, rest your case or do whatever else lawyers do?

[c1tr4n1um]

Good evening, yes, thank you for having me.

As the honorable Judge Rattus has stated, I will be representing the defendant, one Bramble, on the charges of alleged criminal damage to property. A very serious claim that could land my client up to 10 years in custody or, potentially, limited sofa snuggles proceeding.

Dr. Banana's testimony just now has, indeed, brought to light some very compelling evidence. It would appear that the defendant's very expression would rule out any sign of lingering malice towards the plaintiff—perhaps indicating the destruction was not, in fact, motivated by any implicit ill will against them or their possessions.

To rule out any accusations of my client potentially "masterfully feigning innocence," I would like to ask our expert to elaborate, if you will, on what signs specifically indicate—without a shadow of a doubt—genuine remorse on the part of the defendant.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Dr. Banana: Fun fact, there are roughly 30 muscles in a rat's face! My team hypothesizes there are at least 900 unique facial expressions a rat can make! However scientifically we only recognize a few core emotional states such as fear, sadness and pleasure. The defendant has what we professionally call sad eyes. This is a pretty strong indicator for remorse in rats.

Dr Banana: However to remove any shadow of doubt. We used a state of the art computer program to simulate what the defendant would have looked like without any remorse! These are the results. You can see how different the face is!

Dr Banana: like this your honor!!!

Excellent testimony Dr Banana! The court appreciates your time. @c1tr4n1um how do you wish to proceed in your case from here?

[c1tr4n1um]

And there you have it! Thank you once again for your research and help, Dr. Banana. Your contributions to the field of Rat Psychology are truly valuable.

Your honor, if my client were truly as remorseless as the plaintiff claims them to be, why would their expression be rife with such obvious regret? Indication of potential misdeeds? Perhaps, but not indicative of a targeted crime, such as the one alleged against the defendant.

I believe there may be something deeper going on here. The plaintiff mentions a past streak of vandalism related to this particular property, could it not be true that this too is simply another minor misdemeanors? A temporary relapse into petty crime?

If you'll allow it, your honor, I would like to call the accused to the stand to testify on this alleged history of vandalism, as it may shed some light on our current predicament regarding this property.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

The court will allow it. The defendant will be joining us via video call. Bramble will you please explain in your own words what happened?

Bramble: Squeak squa. Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. Sque squeak squeak. Squeak squa squeak.

Let the record show that the defendant said she did not mean to hurt the sofa. She continued on to say she was having a wonderful time snuggling with her favorite most cherished critter. It meant the world to her, so she wanted to build her favorite critter a nest out of the comfy fabric. She did not know this fabric was off limits and simply wanted to share more time together.

She said she felt regret and remorse instantly after the miscommunication and would do anything to make up for it. She also touched on her past allegations and said she just gets really excited from snuggle time and doesn't understand exactly what area of the fabric is, or isn't off limits.

@c1tr4n1um I think you have a slam dunk case with that testimony. Are you ready to give your closing arguments or do you feel your case could use some more evidence?

[c1tr4n1um]

I feel my job is done here; in the words of my client, this was a miscommunication.

Far be it from the case of a ratty who sought to sow the seeds of agony—no. Instead, what we have here is a ratty who simply enjoyed the plaintiff's presence so much she wished to gift them something special, not understanding what is and is not allowed. A misunderstanding stemming from pure adoration, not malice.

I believe this proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that my client, the defendant, Bramble, is an innocent rat.

Your honor, I can confidently say that the defense now rests their case.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

With that said the court will now issue a ruling. Bramble, the excellent representation by your attorney, has afforded the court a clear picture of what transpired that tragic day. Bramble you are an inspiration to all rat kind and dare I say hero.

Verdict: The court finds the defendant not guilty of any crimes.

Reasoning: We don't have any evidence of Bramble actually causing damage. We only have a photo of her next to a damaged sofa. For all we know @rhubarbmuncher chewed the sofa. Muncher is literally in the name. While Bramble did confess to wanting to make a nest out of the sofa material. She didn't explicitly say she chewed the sofa either. She could have found the material lying around and felt guilty over that. She expressed remorse and having a lack of remorse was part of the charges here.

The attorney for Bramble had amazing points throughout the case that heavily swayed this judge's opinions on the matter.

Restitutions: 1. The court awards Bramble with more, uninterrupted blanket time.

2. Because of her desire to build nests, we also request she be given nesting material. This can include paper towels, newspaper or whatever else she is a fan of. The court orders @rhubarbmuncher to put their hand in the nest for at least a minute and enjoy it

3. Give Bramble some fresh fruits or snacks of her choice and lots of love because she is an amazing and innocent rat.

Case closed.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Your honour I present evidence of criminal damage to the sofa during snuggles under blanket time. It should also be noted that Bramble was seen vandalising said sofa in the past and clearly shows no remorse.

The court is now in session! @c1tr4n1um will be representing the defendant, Bramble, pro bono in this case.

The court calls the first expert, Dr. Banana Psy.D. to please take the stand. Let the record show Dr. Banana is an expert in the psychology of rodent behavior, specifically specializing in rodent remorse and facial expressions.

Dr. Banana, in your own words can you explain what we are seeing here.

Dr. Banana: Certainly your honor! Might I start by saying rodent psychology is such a fascinating field of interest for young rodents to get into and is part of the reason I'm here today! The defendant is, in my expert opinion, showing not only remorse, but also sympathy for the victim's duress! Interestingly enough, this is exactly what we'd expect of a rat, vs let's say a grasshopper mouse who shows absolutely no remorse for their victims! The defendant's facial expression is also showing signs of confusion for the situation, similar to the common ground hog!

Dr. Banana: Back at the university, we ran a scientific poll between other experts in both rat and rodent psychology. The results, as shown in exhibit A, clearly indicate an overwhelming finding that the defendant is expressing remorse! I'd also like to add your honor that Bramble has an innocent facial expression.

Exhibit A :

Thank you for your testimony Dr. Banana. Very compelling evidence!

@c1tr4n1um would you like to ask the current expert any questions, bring evidence to the court, call a witness or your client to the stand, rest your case or do whatever else lawyers do?

[c1tr4n1um]

Good evening, yes, thank you for having me.

As the honorable Judge Rattus has stated, I will be representing the defendant, one Bramble, on the charges of alleged criminal damage to property. A very serious claim that could land my client up to 10 years in custody or, potentially, limited sofa snuggles proceeding.

Dr. Banana's testimony just now has, indeed, brought to light some very compelling evidence. It would appear that the defendant's very expression would rule out any sign of lingering malice towards the plaintiff—perhaps indicating the destruction was not, in fact, motivated by any implicit ill will against them or their possessions.

To rule out any accusations of my client potentially "masterfully feigning innocence," I would like to ask our expert to elaborate, if you will, on what signs specifically indicate—without a shadow of a doubt—genuine remorse on the part of the defendant.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Dr. Banana: Fun fact, there are roughly 30 muscles in a rat's face! My team hypothesizes there are at least 900 unique facial expressions a rat can make! However scientifically we only recognize a few core emotional states such as fear, sadness and pleasure. The defendant has what we professionally call sad eyes. This is a pretty strong indicator for remorse in rats.

Dr Banana: However to remove any shadow of doubt. We used a state of the art computer program to simulate what the defendant would have looked like without any remorse! These are the results. You can see how different the face is!

Dr Banana: like this your honor!!!

Excellent testimony Dr Banana! The court appreciates your time. @c1tr4n1um how do you wish to proceed in your case from here?

[c1tr4n1um]

And there you have it! Thank you once again for your research and help, Dr. Banana. Your contributions to the field of Rat Psychology are truly valuable.

Your honor, if my client were truly as remorseless as the plaintiff claims them to be, why would their expression be rife with such obvious regret? Indication of potential misdeeds? Perhaps, but not indicative of a targeted crime, such as the one alleged against the defendant.

I believe there may be something deeper going on here. The plaintiff mentions a past streak of vandalism related to this particular property, could it not be true that this too is simply another minor misdemeanors? A temporary relapse into petty crime?

If you'll allow it, your honor, I would like to call the accused to the stand to testify on this alleged history of vandalism, as it may shed some light on our current predicament regarding this property.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

The court will allow it. The defendant will be joining us via video call. Bramble will you please explain in your own words what happened?

Bramble: Squeak squa. Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak. Sque squeak squeak. Squeak squa squeak.

Let the record show that the defendant said she did not mean to hurt the sofa. She continued on to say she was having a wonderful time snuggling with her favorite most cherished critter. It meant the world to her, so she wanted to build her favorite critter a nest out of the comfy fabric. She did not know this fabric was off limits and simply wanted to share more time together.

She said she felt regret and remorse instantly after the miscommunication and would do anything to make up for it. She also touched on her past allegations and said she just gets really excited from snuggle time and doesn't understand exactly what area of the fabric is, or isn't off limits.

@c1tr4n1um I think you have a slam dunk case with that testimony. Are you ready to give your closing arguments or do you feel your case could use some more evidence?

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Your honour I present evidence of criminal damage to the sofa during snuggles under blanket time. It should also be noted that Bramble was seen vandalising said sofa in the past and clearly shows no remorse.

The court is now in session! @c1tr4n1um will be representing the defendant, Bramble, pro bono in this case.

The court calls the first expert, Dr. Banana Psy.D. to please take the stand. Let the record show Dr. Banana is an expert in the psychology of rodent behavior, specifically specializing in rodent remorse and facial expressions.

Dr. Banana, in your own words can you explain what we are seeing here.

Dr. Banana: Certainly your honor! Might I start by saying rodent psychology is such a fascinating field of interest for young rodents to get into and is part of the reason I'm here today! The defendant is, in my expert opinion, showing not only remorse, but also sympathy for the victim's duress! Interestingly enough, this is exactly what we'd expect of a rat, vs let's say a grasshopper mouse who shows absolutely no remorse for their victims! The defendant's facial expression is also showing signs of confusion for the situation, similar to the common ground hog!

Dr. Banana: Back at the university, we ran a scientific poll between other experts in both rat and rodent psychology. The results, as shown in exhibit A, clearly indicate an overwhelming finding that the defendant is expressing remorse! I'd also like to add your honor that Bramble has an innocent facial expression.

Exhibit A :

Thank you for your testimony Dr. Banana. Very compelling evidence!

@c1tr4n1um would you like to ask the current expert any questions, bring evidence to the court, call a witness or your client to the stand, rest your case or do whatever else lawyers do?

[c1tr4n1um]

Good evening, yes, thank you for having me.

As the honorable Judge Rattus has stated, I will be representing the defendant, one Bramble, on the charges of alleged criminal damage to property. A very serious claim that could land my client up to 10 years in custody or, potentially, limited sofa snuggles proceeding.

Dr. Banana's testimony just now has, indeed, brought to light some very compelling evidence. It would appear that the defendant's very expression would rule out any sign of lingering malice towards the plaintiff—perhaps indicating the destruction was not, in fact, motivated by any implicit ill will against them or their possessions.

To rule out any accusations of my client potentially "masterfully feigning innocence," I would like to ask our expert to elaborate, if you will, on what signs specifically indicate—without a shadow of a doubt—genuine remorse on the part of the defendant.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Dr. Banana: Fun fact, there are roughly 30 muscles in a rat's face! My team hypothesizes there are at least 900 unique facial expressions a rat can make! However scientifically we only recognize a few core emotional states such as fear, sadness and pleasure. The defendant has what we professionally call sad eyes. This is a pretty strong indicator for remorse in rats.

Dr Banana: However to remove any shadow of doubt. We used a state of the art computer program to simulate what the defendant would have looked like without any remorse! These are the results. You can see how different the face is!

Dr Banana: like this your honor!!!

Excellent testimony Dr Banana! The court appreciates your time. @c1tr4n1um how do you wish to proceed in your case from here?

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Your honour I present evidence of criminal damage to the sofa during snuggles under blanket time. It should also be noted that Bramble was seen vandalising said sofa in the past and clearly shows no remorse.

The court is now in session! @c1tr4n1um will be representing the defendant, Bramble, pro bono in this case.

The court calls the first expert, Dr. Banana Psy.D. to please take the stand. Let the record show Dr. Banana is an expert in the psychology of rodent behavior, specifically specializing in rodent remorse and facial expressions.

Dr. Banana, in your own words can you explain what we are seeing here.

Dr. Banana: Certainly your honor! Might I start by saying rodent psychology is such a fascinating field of interest for young rodents to get into and is part of the reason I'm here today! The defendant is, in my expert opinion, showing not only remorse, but also sympathy for the victim's duress! Interestingly enough, this is exactly what we'd expect of a rat, vs let's say a grasshopper mouse who shows absolutely no remorse for their victims! The defendant's facial expression is also showing signs of confusion for the situation, similar to the common ground hog!

Dr. Banana: Back at the university, we ran a scientific poll between other experts in both rat and rodent psychology. The results, as shown in exhibit A, clearly indicate an overwhelming finding that the defendant is expressing remorse! I'd also like to add your honor that Bramble has an innocent facial expression.

Exhibit A :

Thank you for your testimony Dr. Banana. Very compelling evidence!

@c1tr4n1um would you like to ask the current expert any questions, bring evidence to the court, call a witness or your client to the stand, rest your case or do whatever else lawyers do?

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Placenta Rattiganz is standing, accused of taking a photo of his testicles with my phone. Eye witnesses say that Placenta climbed the phone, positioning his testicles in front of the camera, and brushed his tail against the button to take a photo.

The evidence. This photo clearly shows his ankle and part of his testicle

The court would like to know an important detail in this case. How old is the defendant?

[grubbed-up-goblen]

Ten months, your honor

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

8 months is the legal age of consent in rats. It's not a crime to take pics of your own rat balls. Case dismissed with prejudice. Not guilty as well. Give Placenta an apology kiss, some snacks and an only rat account.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Placenta Rattiganz is standing, accused of taking a photo of his testicles with my phone. Eye witnesses say that Placenta climbed the phone, positioning his testicles in front of the camera, and brushed his tail against the button to take a photo.

The evidence. This photo clearly shows his ankle and part of his testicle

The court would like to know an important detail in this case. How old is the defendant?

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Is Nigel Rattaganz the rat guilty of running straight for the peanuts and being a gluttonous beast?

The court is happy to see one of the Rattaganz gang again and will move for a speedy trial. The court calls to the stand, an expect in rodent crime scene reconstruction, Ms. Butterscotch Pimento Loaf the 8th.

Ms. Butterscotch Pimento Loaf the 8th, in your own words, can you please describe what we are seeing here?

Ms. Butterscotch Pimento Loaf the 8th: First of all your honor, can I just say that it's an honor ;) to be here squeak. Your human dialect is very good btw your honor squea.

Ms. Butterscotch Pimento Loaf the 8th: Your honor as we can see here, Nigel Rattaganz is not running and isn't straight sque. Nigel appears to be gathering some peanuts to share with their human. It's nice to see caring and compassionate rats squeak squeak. Nigel also appears to be a healthy weight and not at all glutinous. (End testimony)

Well that pretty much makes this case a cle

Placenta Rattaganz: SQUEAK!!!!! SQUEAK SQUE SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEEE!!!!! SQUII SQUIE SQUEAK SQUA SQUEAK!!!! (End of passionate testimony)

Order in the court! Order in the court!!! Bailiff please escort Placenta out now!

...In all my years as a judge I've never seen such a blatant disregard for decorum. However after hearing such a passionate, moving testimony from Placenta about how Nigel didn't share any nuts...I have no choice but to find the defendant guilty as charged.

Punishment will be severe you criminal scum. The court orders restitution to all the Rattaganz gang in the form of two peanuts each, 20 minutes of time spent with your human, 3 head kisses for all the Rattaganz and the record will reflect your gluttony Nigel.

[spreadassholesdotorg]

[mallardducksaysquack]

@the-honorable-judge-rattus Is this business operating legally?

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

It depends on the country. It is completely legal to eat rats in the United States, which is where the vast majority of Arby's are located.

Another fun fact: it is legal to eat rats in rat law too. You know sometimes, a mama rat has to eat her babies to survive, so we had to make that legal. Sometimes an esteemed colleague doesn't make it either and we have to eat them to survive law school. So like we had to make that legal too.

Rat murder is legal under the passionate lover's defense. A skilled lawyer would argue rats are delicious and could certainly invoke a passion inside of one's self to consume. Who doesn't love the tangy...zesty... delicate taste of a well made rat sandwich.

I would say this business is operating legally for sure.

[sp01l3dxsw33tn3ss-deactivated20]

this is harvey. he was created on chrome canvas while i was supposed to be working on the fic. he is very happy he was created, even if he is not the best drawn due to me using a mouse. but he is happy anyway.

[rodent-detector]

Harvey is a wonderful little guy. I think you made the right decision not to work on the fic. Without you, Harvey wouldn't exist. He is the best drawn because he is happy. Rat detected.

[mallardducksaysquack]

what do you mean a RAT was drawn using a MOUSE

[rodent-detector]

It's common practice to do that. I'll explain the process to you.

[mallardducksaysquack]

The photo is absolutely lovely but the question is, is it real?

Note the strange phrasing. Are we sure there was no forced labour involved?

@rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group I know that so far, you have only investigated cases involving accusations against rats, but maybe you could take a look? I have a job interview soon, so there is a non-zero possibility I will be able to pay for your service on the mouse's behalf.

[rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group]

I know we still have to finish the other results from the last poll. That court case was delayed, but who do you all think we should get to investigate this.

who to hire

Chip Ratley, 5 years experience affordable, gets the job done eventually

Micky Ratone, 35 years experience, expensive, slow and methodical

Fluffy Butts, 12 years experience, cheap, fast, but makes mistakes

Quesadilla, 8 years experience, affordable, good work ethic, results on time

Tofu Mouse, 0 days experience, free, probably won't solve it, hired bc family

Voting ended onAug 30, 2025

[sp01l3dxsw33tn3ss-deactivated20]

am i being brought to court for possibly illegal mouse labour what is happening rn

[rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group]

You're being investigated. I recommend choosing Tofu Mouse if you want this to all go away. Also we will gladly take your case here at Rat Rat and Ratt law group. No conflict of interest or anything like that in a rat's world.

[sp01l3dxsw33tn3ss-deactivated20]

i actually already have my lawyer. i would like to bring in @your-rat-majesty as my lawyer if the jury allows.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

I'm the judge residing over this case. I will allow your request.

[your-rat-majesty]

Hello, I am @cyber-angels-forever lawyer.

Is it possible the mouse in question is now happy with its creation? It says Harvey is very happy, which in turn would most likely make them mouse happy that it's, essentially, child is enjoying life. Using also has ambiguous connotations, such as asking someone "could I use you for something". It's very possible the mouse was fully consenting to this creation.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

All rise the court is in session.

The court has heard back that the investigation is complete now. We will find out what detective Quesadilla found out. Mr. Quesadilla will you please take the stand and tell us what you have discovered?

Detective Quesadilla: Squeak squ squeek sqeua sqeak squeak squeek squeei. Sque squeak squek skuwk sqee sqree.

Let the record show that detective Quesadilla has found that the mouse in question was a computer mouse. Not a real mouse. No rodent was harmed in the making of this post and the rat in question, Harvey, is just taking it day by day. Harvey is enjoying life. No crime has thus been committed. This seems a simple case of mistaken rodentity.

@your-rat-majesty being the lawyer for the defendant, is there anything you'd like to say before I make a ruling?

[your-rat-majesty]

@the-honorable-judge-rattus While I am not surprised by what Detective Quesadilla has found, I am very glad to hear my defendant is innocent of any crimes against rodents. Thank you, Your Honor.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Wonderful, this case is closed. We find the defendant @cyber-angels-forever not guilty. You're to be rewarded with 2 pieces of cheese, 10 minutes of free roam and a chin scratch from your favorite human.

@mallardducksaysquack to further help you understand what a computer mouse is, let me link you this article. You may find this enlightening.

Computer mouse - Wikipedia

Lastly @your-rat-majesty you did a wonderful job as a rat lawyer today. You tried to stretch the truth beyond human comprehension. That is the rat way. You should consider a career with Rat Rat and Ratt.

[sp01l3dxsw33tn3ss-deactivated20]

this is harvey. he was created on chrome canvas while i was supposed to be working on the fic. he is very happy he was created, even if he is not the best drawn due to me using a mouse. but he is happy anyway.

[rodent-detector]

Harvey is a wonderful little guy. I think you made the right decision not to work on the fic. Without you, Harvey wouldn't exist. He is the best drawn because he is happy. Rat detected.

[mallardducksaysquack]

what do you mean a RAT was drawn using a MOUSE

[rodent-detector]

It's common practice to do that. I'll explain the process to you.

[mallardducksaysquack]

The photo is absolutely lovely but the question is, is it real?

Note the strange phrasing. Are we sure there was no forced labour involved?

@rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group I know that so far, you have only investigated cases involving accusations against rats, but maybe you could take a look? I have a job interview soon, so there is a non-zero possibility I will be able to pay for your service on the mouse's behalf.

[rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group]

I know we still have to finish the other results from the last poll. That court case was delayed, but who do you all think we should get to investigate this.

who to hire

Chip Ratley, 5 years experience affordable, gets the job done eventually

Micky Ratone, 35 years experience, expensive, slow and methodical

Fluffy Butts, 12 years experience, cheap, fast, but makes mistakes

Quesadilla, 8 years experience, affordable, good work ethic, results on time

Tofu Mouse, 0 days experience, free, probably won't solve it, hired bc family

Voting ended onAug 30, 2025

[sp01l3dxsw33tn3ss-deactivated20]

am i being brought to court for possibly illegal mouse labour what is happening rn

[rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group]

You're being investigated. I recommend choosing Tofu Mouse if you want this to all go away. Also we will gladly take your case here at Rat Rat and Ratt law group. No conflict of interest or anything like that in a rat's world.

[sp01l3dxsw33tn3ss-deactivated20]

i actually already have my lawyer. i would like to bring in @your-rat-majesty as my lawyer if the jury allows.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

I'm the judge residing over this case. I will allow your request.

[your-rat-majesty]

Hello, I am @cyber-angels-forever lawyer.

Is it possible the mouse in question is now happy with its creation? It says Harvey is very happy, which in turn would most likely make them mouse happy that it's, essentially, child is enjoying life. Using also has ambiguous connotations, such as asking someone "could I use you for something". It's very possible the mouse was fully consenting to this creation.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

All rise the court is in session.

The court has heard back that the investigation is complete now. We will find out what detective Quesadilla found out. Mr. Quesadilla will you please take the stand and tell us what you have discovered?

Detective Quesadilla: Squeak squ squeek sqeua sqeak squeak squeek squeei. Sque squeak squek skuwk sqee sqree.

Let the record show that detective Quesadilla has found that the mouse in question was a computer mouse. Not a real mouse. No rodent was harmed in the making of this post and the rat in question, Harvey, is just taking it day by day. Harvey is enjoying life. No crime has thus been committed. This seems a simple case of mistaken rodentity.

@your-rat-majesty being the lawyer for the defendant, is there anything you'd like to say before I make a ruling?

[sp01l3dxsw33tn3ss-deactivated20]

this is harvey. he was created on chrome canvas while i was supposed to be working on the fic. he is very happy he was created, even if he is not the best drawn due to me using a mouse. but he is happy anyway.

[rodent-detector]

Harvey is a wonderful little guy. I think you made the right decision not to work on the fic. Without you, Harvey wouldn't exist. He is the best drawn because he is happy. Rat detected.

[mallardducksaysquack]

what do you mean a RAT was drawn using a MOUSE

[rodent-detector]

It's common practice to do that. I'll explain the process to you.

[mallardducksaysquack]

The photo is absolutely lovely but the question is, is it real?

Note the strange phrasing. Are we sure there was no forced labour involved?

@rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group I know that so far, you have only investigated cases involving accusations against rats, but maybe you could take a look? I have a job interview soon, so there is a non-zero possibility I will be able to pay for your service on the mouse's behalf.

[rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group]

I know we still have to finish the other results from the last poll. That court case was delayed, but who do you all think we should get to investigate this.

who to hire

Chip Ratley, 5 years experience affordable, gets the job done eventually

Micky Ratone, 35 years experience, expensive, slow and methodical

Fluffy Butts, 12 years experience, cheap, fast, but makes mistakes

Quesadilla, 8 years experience, affordable, good work ethic, results on time

Tofu Mouse, 0 days experience, free, probably won't solve it, hired bc family

Voting ended onAug 30, 2025

[sp01l3dxsw33tn3ss-deactivated20]

am i being brought to court for possibly illegal mouse labour what is happening rn

[rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group]

You're being investigated. I recommend choosing Tofu Mouse if you want this to all go away. Also we will gladly take your case here at Rat Rat and Ratt law group. No conflict of interest or anything like that in a rat's world.

[sp01l3dxsw33tn3ss-deactivated20]

i actually already have my lawyer. i would like to bring in @your-rat-majesty as my lawyer if the jury allows.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

I'm the judge residing over this case. I will allow your request.

[your-rat-majesty]

Hello, I am @cyber-angels-forever lawyer.

Is it possible the mouse in question is now happy with its creation? It says Harvey is very happy, which in turn would most likely make them mouse happy that it's, essentially, child is enjoying life. Using also has ambiguous connotations, such as asking someone "could I use you for something". It's very possible the mouse was fully consenting to this creation.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

I can't answer that until the investigation is done. All I know is which investigator is picked, will drastically alter the course of this case. Maybe even your client's life.

[sp01l3dxsw33tn3ss-deactivated20]

this is harvey. he was created on chrome canvas while i was supposed to be working on the fic. he is very happy he was created, even if he is not the best drawn due to me using a mouse. but he is happy anyway.

[rodent-detector]

Harvey is a wonderful little guy. I think you made the right decision not to work on the fic. Without you, Harvey wouldn't exist. He is the best drawn because he is happy. Rat detected.

[mallardducksaysquack]

what do you mean a RAT was drawn using a MOUSE

[rodent-detector]

It's common practice to do that. I'll explain the process to you.

[mallardducksaysquack]

The photo is absolutely lovely but the question is, is it real?

Note the strange phrasing. Are we sure there was no forced labour involved?

@rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group I know that so far, you have only investigated cases involving accusations against rats, but maybe you could take a look? I have a job interview soon, so there is a non-zero possibility I will be able to pay for your service on the mouse's behalf.

[rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group]

I know we still have to finish the other results from the last poll. That court case was delayed, but who do you all think we should get to investigate this.

who to hire

Chip Ratley, 5 years experience affordable, gets the job done eventually

Micky Ratone, 35 years experience, expensive, slow and methodical

Fluffy Butts, 12 years experience, cheap, fast, but makes mistakes

Quesadilla, 8 years experience, affordable, good work ethic, results on time

Tofu Mouse, 0 days experience, free, probably won't solve it, hired bc family

Voting ended onAug 30, 2025

[sp01l3dxsw33tn3ss-deactivated20]

am i being brought to court for possibly illegal mouse labour what is happening rn

[rat-rat-and-ratt-law-group]

You're being investigated. I recommend choosing Tofu Mouse if you want this to all go away. Also we will gladly take your case here at Rat Rat and Ratt law group. No conflict of interest or anything like that in a rat's world.

[sp01l3dxsw33tn3ss-deactivated20]

i actually already have my lawyer. i would like to bring in @your-rat-majesty as my lawyer if the jury allows.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

I'm the judge residing over this case. I will allow your request.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

the defendant, val, stands accused of two counts of Chewing My Damn Walls

while the incident was not captured on camera her roommates are very willing to take the stand as we can see

The court calls to the stand Det. Raspberry. Detective you've been a private investigator with the court for over 15 years. Can you tell us what you found?

Close up images of the evidence the detective found.

With this new evidence, the court finds the defendant Val, Not Guilty. Val has most likely been framed. At the very least other rats have clearly had access to area. The paint looks to be peeling as well. The court orders restitution to Val, in the form of her favorite snack. She is to be rewarded free run time as soon as possible.

I am disappointed to see her roommates so eager to turn her in. However I think this can be a learning experience for them. Explain to them that lying under oath is a criminal offense. Then give them treats.

[the-honorable-judge-rattus]

Not even a full 24 hours after being seen in court and let off with community service, Gooch has been spotted chewing the carpet

What’s your verdict?

The court is going to need an expert's testimony on this. Will you please take the stand, Macaroni and Cheese. Mx. Macaroni and Cheese, you're an expert in interior decorating and fabric composition. Can you please explain if this carpet has been damaged? Is it normal for a rat to chew on carpet?

Macaroni and Cheese (They/Them): Why certainly your honor. Munching carpet isn't illegal at all! It's a perfectly wonderful and natural thing almost all rats do. Me and my siblings do it all the time. All rats explore themselves and each other.

Umm, we are talking about carpeting as seen on the floor of a house Mx. Macaroni and Cheese.

Macaroni and Cheese (They/Them): Omg your Honor! I am so sorry. l feel kinda silly for misunderstanding that one....Well now that's a completely different subject. Uh. Well. So like yeah that is a pretty bad thing to do. It's not technically illegal, but it can cause some digestive and health issues if eaten. Thankfully most rats just play with stuff and don't actually eat it. I would say it's normal though. Damage has definitely been caused, yes.

After that expert testimony the court finds the defendant, Gooch Rattaganz not guilty. Though you should stop her from doing that for sure. The court orders you call her a bad mouse. Just one time. Nicely. Give her some pets and make sure she's okay. If you would like to pursue damages, I suggest taking her to civil court.