TW, ed @the-idiot-boy-x - Tumblr Blog

so uhmmm.,,,., I finally went to the doctor and found out I've slipped under my ugw by 5 pounds and I'm now medically underweight.

I've been going through absolute hell, totally destroyed my body and brain, missed out on so many of the things I love, pushed away all the people I love, and I just can't live like this anymore. In truth, I've been ready to start recovering for a while now, I just needed something to set me off. I know if I don't stop now this will kill me. the only thing my ed hasn't taken from me yet is my life, and I won't let it.

to anyone who sees this, I wish you the best. none of us deserve to be here. none of us deserve to live like this. you deserve to get better and I hope with every ounce of love in my heart that you do. please be kind to yourself.

I love you all and I hope I never come back here. better days are ahead, my friends.

some extra pretty meals that I've had this past week.

this is your reminder that it's okay to eat. we all need food to live. nobody out here is surviving on nothing. feed yourself, my friend. I promise you deserve it.

sick on sugar free candy and fiber one brownies,,, don't feel too good but not too bad either. happy halloween everyone. don't be too hard on yourselves tonight, okay? see you tomorrow <3

I actually think I look thin in my costume. I don't feel afraid of my body today.

salad time <3

here's your reminder that it's okay to eat today

this disease makes everything I love into pure terror I'm so fucking tired

I kinda thought my family would be concerned when I blatantly stopped eating carbs and sugar and started making my own separate dinners to cut calories but now they're just like "oh if u don't want carbs there's corn tortillas in the pantry" like oh,,,, on one hand I don't want them to stop me but on the other hand I'm kinda sad they're not trying ? Is that mega selfish of me ?

I don't even want to be loved anymore. I just want to be useful.

itsm00nlite

am i ever going to get better, or should i just accept that this is how its going to be for the rest of my life

having to smell the dinner my family is eating and not having any is a unique kind of agony, but I know it'll hurt more if I break.

I wish I could just be fucking normal sometimes. I wish killing myself didn't feel like my only chance at redemption.

the-idiot-boy-x

I put paprika in everything and yes that makes me a better person

peachy-bonee

doesn’t paprika just deadass not have a flavor ,..

the-idiot-boy-x

you might be right but to my white people taste buds it's very intense

peachy-bonee

nooooooo I bet you think pepper is spicy 😭

the-idiot-boy-x

...,.,,,,,.,.. i don't wanna answer that 👀

my whole family had pizza for dinner and I only ate salad. I'm a bit sad that I missed out on the pizza but I know it wouldn't have tasted any different than all the other times I've eaten it. and I'm really relieved I don't have to go to bed guilty now.