my dearest snoopy,
today is 5th of june 2026 and it's currently 2:59am here – few minutes after your passing.
i mean, where do i even begin? i don't know how, i don't know if i could gather all words but i just want to pour out my heart and thoughts for you, my goodest boy.
12 years ago, our mom was thinking of ways to surprise kaori whether it would be a celebration or something else which eventually lead to a mutual decision to get a pet dog instead. i love dogs, snoopy. i grew up being around them wether stray or bred, i love them all equally. i remember during my younger years, i would always drag our mom in pet stores looking at puppies and begging our family if we could adopt stray dogs.
through the years, we do have dogs but it still felt different - how i can't let them inside the house and care for them even play with them.
let's go back to few days before we welcomed you, i remember scrolling through instagram trying my luck to find someone who's willing to give their pup a new home, there came this person. me and tita shiela messaged her about some questions and negotiations. i still remember that very day we picked you up, calumpit bridge was under construction but i did not care. i will cross that bridge back and forth just to get you, just to take you home.
you were such a good boy from the start snoopy, i remember how well behaved you were in my arms as we took the jeepney home. you were so cute and little that you would sleep in corners and hide under furnitures during your first few days. our grandparents fell inlove with you immediately and from that moment on, we knew you would bring so much joy.
you were not just mama lot's gift to us, but one of God's greatest blessing.
you just have your own special way of bringing comfort and happiness to our lives just by simply existing.
you have been through so much, my love.
i remember the first incident when we almost lost you. mama zen feeding you nuts just because she could simply not resist you. you were smelling and there were flies all around you as if signalling your death. you were so weak for few days - later on we found out that nuts were not supposed to be fed to dogs as it equates to poison. i'm sorry baby, mama zen meant no harm, she just thought it would make you happy.
then there came a time wherein you had uti, there was blood in your pee and we thought we almost lost you again.
on my college years, you were my stress reliever. always welcoming me whenever i come home.
i admit i was so afraid when our mom and mama zen passed away. you kept guarding their coffin as if you wanted to follow because that's how most pets are. instead, being the angel, God sent that you are, it's like you made a deal with them to stay here and guide us during their absence.
i remember taking you to malls, almost every places we go.
there came i had my first job in starbucks, papa rolan would always bring you along with him, with you seated either on the seat or floor or the passenger's seat. he would always tell me, "anak hulaan mo sino kasama ko" (anak, guess who's with me) then i would find you there waiting for me.
the last thing i remember that i thought we would really almost lose you was when you had such a bad eye infection. your eyes were bleeding so much my love, and you were looking at me as if you were pleasing me "please ate, can you let me go". you were suffering so much. i remember during those nights i would quietly sneak downstairs just to hug you and i would talk to you every. single. night. while holding you in my arms telling you, "if you really can't hold on anymore, you can run free my baby". still, you choose to survive and go through it. i was heartbroken with my toxic relationship that time but still you chose me, you knew that you can not be the reason for my heartbreak. no, just not yet.
you were so smart and patient, snoopy. there was a time i remember telling you to wake me up at 7am the next morning. guess what? i woke up to you barking outside the door at exactly 6 in the morning. everytime i get to bathe you, you would lift your paws up when you know it's time for me to rub them clean. you never bite, even if we accidentally step on your tail you just look at us with judgement (lol).
until i finally landed on my dream job, snoopy. i was happy yet terrified what if i lose you while i'm away? which is what happened right now. i remember asking myself before moving into doha, i have a senior dog. i hope he would be able to wait for me every time i come home. it was honestly all about you in my mind during those few days before i move overseas. i was always hoping and praying that you could live a little longer until i finally give you, our family the life i knew we deserve.
there came my first layover in clark, our family surprised us by bringing you along in the hotel. you were old by that time and only wants to be carried. no need to be sorry, my love. i understand. i had joy carrying you in my arms during those moments. even it's time to leave, i always say a prayer to still see you next time.
"nasaan si snoopy?" (where is snoopy?) or "ano ginagawa ni snoopy?" (what is snoopy doing?) has always been my introduction whenever i would go on video call with our family.
december 2024 was our last christmas together and i was so happy that after years of being away from home, we celebrated as complete family again.
i knew you held on for so long, snoopy. and i know up til this day you tried to wait a little longer til i come home – but that's how it is i guess. we all have our own timeline on earth.
a year ago, you started having respiratory problems and deep inside i knew it was way beyond that based on how they would report your cough and breathing.
slowly, i am starting to accept the fact that sooner or later, you might have to go. which was too soon.
i broke in tears when i heard the news blaming myself i should have went there during my layover. but part of me was relieved also, relieved in a way that all your pain and suffering has ended.
i will never forget you, snoopy. your memories will reign in our hearts always and forever. and i will make sure to tell my future kids about how once upon a time, we had a dog named snoopy. who was just not a pet but a family, (you all are), you were such a ball of sunshine, hope and comfort rolled into a four legged good boy.
i remember telling tita i hope you could held a little longer and wait for me til i get home this august but snoopy, i realized you have given me and maxed out all chances that you and i could have ever had.
people might say that you are on of my biggest heartbreak because of your passing but no, in fact, you are the one who mend and healed my heart when it has been broken so many times.
i'm sorry if i can't make it there to see you in your final moments but snoopy, please know that i am so happy and beyond blessed to have you than not have you at all.
thankyou for those 12 wonderful years that you stayed with us, those 12 wonderful years that you fought just to be with us.
i just hope in another life, or in another form, we get to reunite again.
my dearest snoopy,
i am grateful for the life you lived with us.
run free in dog heaven, my love.