Blog of an average dumbass

I'm secretly an eldritch being posing as a college student

[the-localcryptid]

God has favourites and I sure ain't one of them.

[the-localcryptid]

The further away the screams sound the closer the monster is.

[the-localcryptid]

The entities that plague me will not cease. I long for silence.

[the-localcryptid]

Boredom is the closest to death I will ever be and I long to change that daily.

[the-localcryptid]

My only ambition on life is to seduce the mothman

[the-localcryptid]

Never look over your shoulder on a dark night. You won't like what you see.

[the-localcryptid]

Never answer the voices that call you in the night, they may seem friendly but once you answer you'll never be able to stop

[the-localcryptid]

Heading to the AA meeting (abominations anonymous) who's coming?

[the-localcryptid]

looking for hooligans willing to cause chaos and general tomfoolery

[the-localcryptid]

If anyone knows any other forest cryptids send them my way, I'm looking to cause shenanigans.

[juicemetal]

Look I have two moods: Cryptid (Funny, spontaneous) and Cryptid (brooding, cynical) you’re just gonna have to get used to both of them

[sexyorganmusic]

Hello cretins I have a very important question that will shape the way I view you for the rest of eternity.

Are you pro-pant, pant-neutral, or anti-pant?

I personally am anti pant because fuck pants they’re itchy as fuck, the closest thing you will see me wear to a pant is sweatpants and even those I take off after a while because they’re itchy

[the-localcryptid]

anti-pant, we goin legs out

[the-localcryptid]

My mortal vessel is anguished by the sheer fact it exists. Life is a prison.

[the-localcryptid]

the shadow man stands at the end of my bed every night. bent over backwards, staring at me with his eyeless face. i do not know what he wants.

[the-localcryptid]

the constant headache that rings through my brain is clearly an ancient deity attempting to contact me

[sexyorganmusic]

hello my cryptids, my ghosts, my cottage core lesbians, and all who are not white cishet men. i also used to hate myself! i also know that we both hate the government! but now i love myself and i know that i am beautiful and gorgeous and do you want to know why i decided to love myself? because self love is one of the most anti government things you can do! now go be your gorgeous selves and dismantle the patriarchy

[juicemetal]

I WISH I WAS AN ANCIENT SPIRIT!!! SO I COULD SLEEP PEACEFULLY IN A CAVE!!!