Can I send you a DM? I want to yap about Tequila (*´∀`)
YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS
noise dept.

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@the-m-archives
Can I send you a DM? I want to yap about Tequila (*´∀`)
YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS
Dear Tumblr, its come to my attention that I've been lacking. Like consistently. This post is being made while I scream Nettles by Ethel Cain and gaze lovingly at Agent Tequila before I actually turn the movie on to ONLY watch hus scenes and go to bed. But its come to my attention that I just havent looked hard enough for the people that are just another me. Every time I see somebody post about a Channing Tatum character, whether it be fanfic, oc x canon, or yumeshipping, I am reminded that I am in fact NOT alone in this. Granted, to my knowledge the community is still small, but trust I see you and I love you. And because I can't take ANYTHING remotely serious, take this joke as we depart "If that ALSO gets your dick (real or metaphorical) hard? Email me." Thank you all, goodnight.
Oh, and if I said "I have a complex storyline that may or may not be kinda crossover-y bc nothing is real and I can do what I want and literally who's gonna stop me?" Oh, but what if I said "My oc x canon has a kid that goes into another oc x canon from a completely different franchise." I'd be shot, right? I'd be put to death. Guess who doesn't give a shit? Me! Anywho, oc x canon with Jody Domergue, they have a daughter who eventually has a very complicated relationship with Arthur Morgan. Why? Because I said so and no one can stop me. June Rose Domergue, I love you.
The voices are telling me that Jenko likes to flex and show off during sex. Like fully be going at it, lean back to make eye contact with you, and show off his arms while still doin ya. And then have the audacity to ask if you like it. I love you, Gregory. ❤
More 🙂↕️
We’re so back but with the hateful eight versions this time
You ready for this? It's time. Love you guys. Is this good? Oh, 100% not. But! It's the best I could do with the brain power I have. It's around 2.4K words? Maybe? Is this extremely indulgent. Oh yes. Uhhh, warning for like? Half assed gvnpl@y? It ain't loaded or nothin. And yeah, this is half of what I planned to write. Pookie is sorry. And this is fem reader. No use of Y/N. I tried so hard 😭 PLEASE BEAR WITH ME. (And he was 1000% looking at her like he is in this picture Oh my gosh he looks so hungry, stop.
Jody had been hooking up with her for months. Still wasn't sure how it started. They hated each other, they were rivals and nemeses. It realistically made zero sense that they found themselves crawling into the same bed every couple months, or more honestly, every week. He hated the way he craved the woman.
The two fought like a pair of rabid dogs, he was surprised she hadn't knocked a tooth out of his mouth yet. Even more surprised that these fights were resolved by pulling his pants down. But he couldn't complain, what man on the run complains about a warm body next to his? Even if he did hate the woman...
That being said, meeting up with her was his favorite pastime. Even if they had to fight and argue for an hour before they got to the good stuff, even if they always swore it was the last time... He always crawled back into her bed or her tent or wherever he found her. And she would always sneak into his camp as he slept to steal his hat. A signal he had come to know as a "Come and get me, Cowboy." That was how their first encounter had happened.
But tonight was his doing. It wasn't really planned, just ran into each other in town. Some small and dusty hellhole. He'd seen her walking up to her room in the saloon and he slunk up the stairs to follow her. Which led to them arguing again. But he didn't care too much, not really. Which only served to drive her more up the wall.
"Joseph Domergue, you realize that not every time I see you means I wanna see your nasty little pecker. You should know better." Her hands were on her hips as she scolded him like a child rather than the outlaw with a 50k bounty and the lover that constantly ravished her. A man she pretended to not hold as close as she could through the night.
"Oh, darlin'. You always wanna see it, don't kid yourself," he teased. Stupid smile on his face, all smug and proud of himself. That chipped tooth showing off. Oh, how that smile killed her. So charming, he was. But not enough for that joke to have landed.
"I pray every day that some Pinkerton or bounty hunter gets hold of you," she commented dryly. She was not impressed as he was trying to boost his own ego. Jody just laughed.
"Now I know you're lyin'. I know damn well that you don't pray for shit!" He found this hysterical. He always found her dryness so entertaining. If he wasn't such a bastard, he could almost say he loved it... But he had his head up his ass, so that would be solved later on. Right now he was busy shrugging his coat off and kicking his boots to the corner.
"Well, what're you doin'?" She looked him up and down, her hand resting on her gun belt. "Who said you're stayin'?"
"I did. Now get undressed." Jody playfully commanded. His audacity had grown, similar to the thing in his pants. She looked at him in total disbelief as he started to unbutton his shirt. "Well? Go on. Ain't nothin I ain't seen." He commented as his eyes flicked up to her to see if she had listened to him yet. She just laughed in bewilderment.
"You're serious. How full of yourself can you be? Sometimes a girl wants a night to herself." She said that, but she was still pulling her coat and jacket off along with her boots. He just chuckled as his gun belt hit the floor.
"You spend every night with yourself. You need some better company, darlin'," he commented offhandedly.
"Right, 'cause you're the pinnacle of a good guest." He could hear the way her eyes rolled. But he didn't care. He'd dropped his pants now, just left in that blue union suit that she was so acquainted with. That's when he waltzed over to the bed she had sat down on.
"I don't see you invitin' nobody else into your bed. So clearly you think some of me is good. You wouldn't keep takin' me if ya didn't." She knew he had her there. They were both in deep denial of the way they really felt for each other. Both too stubborn to admit that they wanted to just kiss for the sake of kissing, not just when he was bottomed out inside her. Not that either complained about that feeling. Well, she did sometimes, but that was more because she hated to see him enjoying himself too much. And boy, did Jody love bending that woman in half.
"Your ego is showin'. I keep ya around 'cause it's a little late to kick ya to the curb. But if I had the choice? I would." She didn't continue to undress, just leaned back onto her hands and looked up at him. He rolled his eyes and pulled her back up onto her feet, hands on her waist, head leaning down so he could nip at her neck.
"Please, darlin'. If you didn't want this with me, then I reckon you'd have shanked me in my sleep already. Or smothered me. You've had plenty opportunity to get rid of me. And you keep me. I can read a room, despite popular belief." He kissed her neck gently soothing the bites he'd scattered. She just rolled her eyes, her hands totally not trailing up his arms and resting on his biceps. And she was definitely not thinking of how firm those muscles were... She shook those thoughts from her mind as she opened her mouth again.
"I'm surprised you can read at all. That first letter ya sent me bought blew my mind outta my ears 'cause I had no clue you could spell. Let alone read or write," she jabbed. She was trying so hard to not let him in tonight. But she wanted him, and she knew he knew. Because for as cruel as Jody seemed to be, she knew he wouldn't be going on this way if he thought she truly didn't want this. He would back off if she really said no. But she hadn't said no, she was just being rude, which was unfortunately a big ol' "come and fix my attitude, lover," sign that hung around her neck. But Jody still liked when she tried to deny how much she yearned to have him on top of her right now.
Oh, the way he would get so deep inside her. She swore that he could reach her soul, and that he was ripping it right out of her body when he made her cum... The nights they spent together, all the things they'd learned about each other, every single little spot that drove the other up the wall. She remembered once, he had thrown her legs up over his shoulders. That night left her sore for weeks. His tip kissing her cervix with every thrust. His lips kissing her neck... The way he had pressed his lips to the side of her knee so reverently...
"You want me so bad that it makes you look stupid, y'know that?" Jody said as he pulled back to look at her very pink face. His hands sliding down to rub at her hips. His eyes half lidded and full of lust, maybe more.
"Yeah, well... You always look stupid," she sputtered. But he was quicker than her.
"Yeah, well? I always want you. Maybe that's why." That came out far more tender than he had intended. But his stupid smug smirk...
"Makes sense. That's pretty stupid," she spat, sick of him already. She looked at him like a fly buzzing around her head. But she still leaned in when he leaned down to kiss her. His lips rough against her own, but the kiss was inherently soft. For a moment, at least. It didn't take long for it to become heated, teeth and tongues crashing together. His hand went further down to palm and knead her ass. He loved that ass, couldn't wait to get this skirt off of her.
Jody began to unbutton his union suit and shove it off and down. His cock fully hard and aching so deeply for the touch of the woman he loved. So he pulled back and pushed her gently to sit on the bed. "Open up for me, sweet girl." Oh, sweet girl would make her do anything for him, usually. But she was in a mood tonight. Extra difficult. Wanted him to work for it, and a lot.
"I think not. You ain't done a thing to earn puttin' that thing nowhere near me. And you've got another thing comin'-"
"Yeah, you. Just show me a little love and you'll be cummin' all night long. Y'know I take care of ya." He was so proud of himself.
"How clever and original. Does your head hurt from havin' a thought?"
"Well, there's definitely a head hurtin' but it's a little more south. I'm sure it'll still take a little kiss, so c'mon." He stroked himself gently, more than ready to slip into her mouth.
"No. It ain't gettin' no damn kiss and neither are you. Matter of fact, y'know what you're gettin'?" She had just remembered that score he stole off of her about a week ago. And she wasn't just gonna suck his cock after he stole from her. He wasn't allowed to win that often, not with her.
"What am I gettin', baby?" He really thought he could sweet talk his way into her right now. And maybe some other times, he could, tonight wasn't that night. That's when she pulled her gun off of her belt and pointed it at his head.
"You're gettin' a bullet, you jackass. See, I was gonna let this happen before I remembered you're a filthy little thief." Now, at this point in the night, Jody should be worried. But he wasn't. Because he had slipped the bullets out of her guns when he was kissing her. She could call him a thief all night long, but she couldn't call him stupid. So even now as she pointed that iron at his head, all he could do was chuckle and press his head to the end of the barrel.
"Do it," he smiled. Daring her to pull the trigger. She just huffed and kept it pointed at him for a moment before getting a better idea.
"Actually... Get on your knees," she commanded. Just to see if he would do it. He was following now, so he did as she said. And the way she smirked so beautifully and cruel was his sign that she thought she was in control. "Get on the bed." She gestured to the bed with the gun, once again, he followed.
"Tryin' somethin' new tonight, darlin'?" He laughed as he got up on the bed. She turned toward him, to where he could easily just crawl over her if he was quick enough to "disarm" her.
"Shut your mouth... Take my skirts off." Yes! Jody's favorite part of the night. He about ripped them things off her.
"What now, princess?" He was so smug, the bastard...
"Hows about you... Hm..." She tried to think of something to knock him down a peg or two. "Lick it. You want me suckin' on your pecker? You're just gonna have to settle for suckin' on my cunt." He hadn't done that before. Wasn't really something that had crossed their minds before. Foreplay wasn't their forte...
"You want me to-"
"Yes, now get to it." She waved that gun around again. He thought it was so cute that she thought she was in charge. It was pretty the way she let her perceived power go to her head. He rolled his eyes and leaned down. Now, since he had no clue what he was doing, this was gonna be guesswork. He hadn't eaten a girl out before, hell, he'd barely had sex with women that weren't her. Before her it had been... a long time. So he kissed and nipped at her thighs before kissing her clit.
He kissed and licked her clit for a while, his eyes going back up to hers. He was taunting her, but she didn't know that. That's when he started to suck harder on her clit, then the lips, before he stuck his tongue in her and licked up every inch he could reach. His hands squeezed her thighs as he held her open. That's when he started to get some moans out of her.
"You are such a bastard, Jody Domingre. Hate you." But even as she said it, her breath hitched and her legs twitched around his face. He just smirked, she could feel his stupid lips in that dumb smile against her skin as he lapped at her cunt, his hand moving so he could rub her clit with his thumb. That's when the hand holding the gun dropped and her free hand wrapped in his hair. "You are so fuckin' sick, Jody."
"Aw, you can't even keep your gun on me. C'mon, babydoll. Keep that hand steady." Jody was more than enjoying this. He grabbed her hand and pointed the gun back at himself. Pressed it firmly to his forehead, absolutely loving the turning of the tables. He loved it even more when he inserted his fingers inside her and sucked her clit.
"Jody!" She scooted back, a little unprepared for the intrusion.
"What, darlin?" Jody sat back on his heels a little confused.
"Warn a lady when you're stickin' somethin' in her!" Jody just laughed.
"I've had my tongue in ya, but you draw the line at my fingers. Fingers I know you love? Sure. Well, how's this for a warnin'?" He teased as he started to crawl over her.
"Jody- Jody, what are you doin'?"
"I'm robbin' a train. Intercourse, darlin'. Now open them legs, my cock is achin' for ya."
"Jody!" She scolded quickly. Gun going back up to him. "Get offa me, boy. I'll shoot." Jody chuckled again.
"No you ain't." He shook his head.
"I will, Jody!" He leaned in and whispered in her ear.
"It ain't loaded, baby." He grabbed the gun and tossed it on the floor as he kissed up her neck. "Mmm, you smell so good, darlin'. Gonna eat you alive. More than I have." He joked, earning him a good slap on the shoulder.
"Get over yourself, you ain't that good." She rolled her eyes at him. He was always like this.
"You're right. I'm better. Now hush, let me love ya..."
Okay... In compensation for being stuck on my Jody fic I'm gonna rank the Magic Mike guys based on how scared of them I would be if I saw them on the street. This is being said while I have not seen the first movie in like a year, I haven't watched the second one in a couple months. I can always revisit this, and I might lmao. But here it is for now. This is just the people who work at the club in the first one.
8th: Tobias. Not much to say. I mean like... Are YOU scared of Fluffy? 😐
7th: Adam. Adam is a dime a dozen guy. I see at least 6 Adams while I'm at work. He's like a basic guy. I guess. Not scared of him. At all.
6th: Ken? I mean. He's not intimidating. Not in comparison to everyone else. And that's also like his gimmick is the "sweet and palatable boy" so like? He's not scary.
5th: Tito maybe. He's not really intimidating. Like any fear would come from him being attractive lol. He's way scarier in Criminal Minds but this is about Tito not Luke, but I do love Luke. Luke Tito Alvez, never change, I love you.
4th: Dallas. I don't find him scary. Any intimidation would come from height. These guys are tall. Idk, he's not that scary based on looks alone.
3rd: Mike, oddly enough. He's cute, he's handsome, he's tall. BUT. He isn't really that scary to me. Would my hands be shaking from the handsomeness? Yes. But like he isnt scary. Yk?
2nd: Richie. Richie would scare me. He's big. He's tall. Like that's half the joke. His name may be big dick Richie, but like he's big in general. I'm 5'6, big people scare me.
1st: Tarzan would scare the DAYLIGHTS out of me. He's huge and he scares me. He scares me through the screen. If I'm walking in the dark and see him, I'm crossing the street. Why? Bc that guy could BEAT MY ASS. He wouldn't, yk, I think in the context of the movies he's a sweet guy. But I don't know that in the streets. His aura... I fear... I wouldn't want that guy to fight me.
channing tatum is hot & approachable
this can make it hard to accept
he's a good actor
YES. HE IS. THANK YOU.
EXACTLYYYYY
Fuck my life bro. I swore I wasn't boutta watch all of Logan Lucky, but I did. And now all I can hear is the like plotting music. Jimmy Logan when I catch you *clenches fist in rage*
Tw for gunplay?
I'll write this one shot at some point but hear me out on Jody and his little outlaw gf but not really gf like enemies with benefits situation but with gunplay. But it's her with the gun... He KNOWSSS its unloaded, she doesn't know he knows. So he follows every command just bc he likes it. More specifically likes HER and likes letting her think she's in full control. The tension, stop. I'll write this fic, I promise. This is heavily inspired by my oc x canon but I can make it x reader with some tweaks... But pls say y'all are HEARING ME. Bc I have a very specific image in my head. Like him happily going down on her, she has the gun to his head, and he knows full well it is not loaded and he's letting her do it anyways. LIKE HE LEANS FURTHER INTO IT ALL COCKY. Someone stop me...
Pookie has started on this btw...
Car Trouble
Pair: Jimmy Logan x Reader
Summary: Of course after the worst day possible, your car breaks down. Luckily, an angel comes to your rescue- and he wears a knee brace.
Warning: None except my naughty language and bad grammar (aka: the usual)
Word Count: 1,494
Note: look, I don't know cars. I'm gonna apologize now. Oh, and this is lowkey for @the-m-archives 👀
•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Of course your car chose today to break down. The start of your vacation was going great- you charger fell out of the wall, leaving your phone dead, which also lead to you missing your wake up alarm. Your dryer decided to stop full hault last night in the middle of the load you put it in, leaving your clothes too wet to pack. Your wallet seemed to grow legs and make a break for the nearest open window, and your suitcase's zipper decided to break as you were packed.
And now this. You couldn't even turn the damn thing on. It simply chose not too every time you pressed the break and turned the key. Hell, even the dash lights didn't even come on. So, you pressed the button to open the hood harder than you should have and practically ripped off your seatbelt and stormed out. You made sure to slam the door extra hard as payback for the cars attitude before yanking open the hood.
It's like a cold beer to end my night, thank you ❤🙏
Put Daisy and Jody Domergue on my island on Tomodachi Life and their nicknames for each other are Dummy and Ugly Ass. I feel like that's pretty in character.
I present Jody and Daisy. No matter what I do, it won't look like Jody, but I'd like to believe Daisy looks half right. It's been a while since I actually watched the movie (hashtag poor) but whatever. Also slight mention to my oc x canon with Jody. He met her once and fell in love then started yelling into the ocean.
Bonus of my other oc x canon but with Jenko. Bc one of the miis asked for my celebrity crush and why lie? Now they're just like me and don't shut up about him.
Put Daisy and Jody Domergue on my island on Tomodachi Life and their nicknames for each other are Dummy and Ugly Ass. I feel like that's pretty in character.
domergue siblings 🤝 the hottest most gut-destroying foods they can get their hands on. they’re in mexico daring each other to eat raw habeneros. they’re bringing strings of dried peppers back in their saddlebags to add to bland trail staples. (sadly no one but marco consents to finding pequins in the beans.)
I support this with my whole being
I too am in this episode!
(Mutual reblogged a mutual and now we're all here like the three musketeers)
Tw for gunplay?
I'll write this one shot at some point but hear me out on Jody and his little outlaw gf but not really gf like enemies with benefits situation but with gunplay. But it's her with the gun... He KNOWSSS its unloaded, she doesn't know he knows. So he follows every command just bc he likes it. More specifically likes HER and likes letting her think she's in full control. The tension, stop. I'll write this fic, I promise. This is heavily inspired by my oc x canon but I can make it x reader with some tweaks... But pls say y'all are HEARING ME. Bc I have a very specific image in my head. Like him happily going down on her, she has the gun to his head, and he knows full well it is not loaded and he's letting her do it anyways. LIKE HE LEANS FURTHER INTO IT ALL COCKY. Someone stop me...
@the-m-archives I'm sorry I'm causally blowing up your Tumblr, but if you haven't seen Jupiter Ascending? LEMME PUT YOU ON SOMETHING ✨✨✨
Ur puttin me on stop...