A Walk In My Shoes

A collection of poems I wrote, assignments for my old English class, and some fandom stuff, of course.

[the-meggsterr]

why i hate my college english class

I did it to myself, i know. 

after escaping the clutches of my high school english teacher and spreading my metaphorical wings and moving on to college, i was surprised to learn that he did, in fact, teach me more than i was going to get in the required entry level english class at my classical liberal arts college. I was expecting a class of rigor and amazing conversations about “great” books. 

What i got? a mediocre reading list with a class full of homophobic greek freaks (as in they’re in love with the greek culture, but only the parts that fit into their judeo-christian values) 

and the discussions? lackluster at best. The class i am in focuses extensively on the texts we are reading as products made for the primary audience to enjoy. I think I committed high treason when i posted on the message board asking if we could apply anything that we were reading to the modern day. 

I’m left questioning my major and questioning if i made the right choice to take this “advanced” class. The kids are pretentious and their writing reflects Aristotle’s (who might i remind you- was almost always wrong?)

On top of all of this, we are reading things written exclusively by white men. Dear Hillsdale, you can’t preach liberty and no discrimination and then not read any works written by minorities or about struggles of non-white men. representation matters. 

It’s frustrating to realize that the group of kids in high school were more academic and more accepting of ideas and interpretations than the ones at college. No one in my classes thinks for themselves, whatever my prof says is law. I think my prof is wrong. i think he is wrong a lot. i thought my high school teacher was wrong a lot. but new ideas are not welcome. 

have no fear, your local hard headed, strong willed feminist will not take any shit and I will stand up for what i think is right (even if they’re going to shit on me and call me a “public school r**ard”) 

Hopefully it will get better, folks. my reading of these texts seem to be pretty out there though. Yay.

see u soon

[the-meggsterr]

college?? rhetoric class

I’m sittin there, front row off to the side, in this Logic and Rhetoric class at college. We just finished the mind-numbing-horribly-boring-i-want-to-die logic  portion of this class and are switchin to rhetoric. I’m pumped as hell right? ready to get some NEW WISDOM!! what’s the first thing we read? a part of the Iliad we talked about in high school mythology. Next? Letter From a Birmingham Jail by MLK. Next? On Politics in the English Language by Orwell. Oh then To HIs Coy Mistress by Marvell. Now JFK’s inaugural address and i’m sitting here thinking “so why am i literally taking kreinbring’s class again” the most painful part happened when we did a “class discussion” and when i turned to bounce an idea off of riy or ga or bean or anyone honestly, they weren’t there. Kreinbring wasn’t in the corner pretending to grade us, we weren’t sitting in a circle, no one thought they had anything intelligent to say about rhetoric. It makes me sad. I miss my tribe. I miss our harknesses, i miss kreinbring. He was the best thing to ever happen to my writing and an even better thing to happen to me. I wish i had him here. like a lil pocket sized version to tell me when im being smart to tell me when i need to fix my writing and to tell me im overreacting when im crying. i miss his class. I’m taking it again but missing everything that made it worthwhile. I’ll forever be in the Tribe that Reads. I’ll forever be grateful for that home. 

[bri-the-good-blog]

thank god for the avondale english department

So as I complete my fifth week, I’ve really realized how much of an impact high school English had on me, most importantly my last two years. I wasn’t a natural. I failed a few times. But I showed up and I learned. Last week, we learned about ethos, pathos and logos, and when the TA asked who had ever heard of these before, I was the only person raising my hand. Mind you, there are seniors in this class, because it’s not just a freshman composition class, it’s labeled as “writing intensive”. While everyone in the class struggled to grasp the difference between the 3, I completed all the activities with no problem, often providing more reasoning to why each example fit each approach compared to everyone else. I also got my paper back that I wrote a few weeks ago for revisions, and again, surprisingly, the TA wrote “no revisions, excellent paper” meanwhile the girl sitting next to me had marks all over hers. In no way do I see myself as the best in the class, I still struggle to raise my hand and voice my thoughts, even when it’s something I know about. However, I do think that had I not experienced the Eng Wing and learned alongside the greatest tribe, there’s no possible way I would feel so confident about my writing.

[the-meggsterr]

missing u like

Just your average mediocre slam poem by amateur at best, inspired by "thinking about you like" from brave new voices

Also uploaded 2 poems to youtube that you should definitely check out :) 

[the-meggsterr]

Home

I made a website where I am sharing my poetry and writing and such, look at it bc i worked really hard lol

[the-meggsterr]

The more I write, the more thankful I get for Rick Kreinbring . That man taught me so much (though he denies teaching us anything) he is the best teacher I have ever had and he has become one of the models I use to define success . I’ve cried so many times for so many different reasons because of Richard Kreinbring but today I cry because I truly will miss going to his class everyday . I will miss talking about Handmaid’s tale and Feminism and just discussing life with him in general . He is without a doubt one of avondale’s best, my first book is going to be dedicated to you . 

[the-meggsterr]

for my (ex) best friend

trust is not

something you deserved.

my heart was in your hands

and you dropped it

dropped me

disappeared

and I’m left alone

without a heart

or a friend

[the-meggsterr]

mentor poets r hard. here r sum suggestions from a girl who struggled to find one

1. mouthful of forevers by my girl clementine von radics- i did this one and i loved everything about her so i’d say she’s definitely a do. her poetry is about love and loss and her rape but there are also some stand outs about feminism and being badass 10/10 recommend her

2. eighteen by madisen kuhn- it’s a book of poetry about being a teen and growing up and she has a good flow and gone and her poetry really resonates with me so if you’re like me i think you’ll like it (published in 2012)

3. Stuff I’ve been feeling lately by alicia cook it’s a lil weird and the way it’s set up is like it’s a tape and side 1 is her poems straight and just how she wrote them. they’re easy to read and she seems like a real person and then side 2 is basically black out poetry that she wrote using all the poems from the first set super cute and super creative (published 2017)

4. A Thousand mornings by mary oliver her style is beautiful and she has a poem in there about a fox that i think is adorable and it’s also super meaningful and i loved it and the rest of her poems are like that. it’s quality (published 2012)

5. pleasefindthis I Wrote this just for you by Iain s thomas- there’s photography connected with poetry (if you’re into that there’s a lot to talk about here) the poems are mostly short (do) and it’s easy to read. i loved this one and you might enjoy it too (published 2015)

6. chasers of light by tyler knott gregson- again. poetry and photography. this one is really cute and it’s quite powerful to read i enjoyed it¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (published 2014)

i don’t know if any of you need this but it’s here for ya to take a look at ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ have fun! ap lit is fantastic. i wish i could go back and relive it but i can’t. relish it bc honestly it’s the best class you’ll ever take.

i love you rick !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[the-meggsterr]

ALSO SARA KAY IS AMAZING I LOVE HER

[the-meggsterr]

mentor poets r hard. here r sum suggestions from a girl who struggled to find one

1. mouthful of forevers by my girl clementine von radics- i did this one and i loved everything about her so i'd say she's definitely a do. her poetry is about love and loss and her rape but there are also some stand outs about feminism and being badass 10/10 recommend her 2. eighteen by madisen kuhn- it's a book of poetry about being a teen and growing up and she has a good flow and gone and her poetry really resonates with me so if you're like me i think you'll like it (published in 2012) 3. Stuff I've been feeling lately by alicia cook it's a lil weird and the way it's set up is like it's a tape and side 1 is her poems straight and just how she wrote them. they're easy to read and she seems like a real person and then side 2 is basically black out poetry that she wrote using all the poems from the first set super cute and super creative (published 2017) 4. A Thousand mornings by mary oliver her style is beautiful and she has a poem in there about a fox that i think is adorable and it's also super meaningful and i loved it and the rest of her poems are like that. it's quality (published 2012) 5. pleasefindthis I Wrote this just for you by Iain s thomas- there's photography connected with poetry (if you're into that there's a lot to talk about here) the poems are mostly short (do) and it's easy to read. i loved this one and you might enjoy it too (published 2015) 6. chasers of light by tyler knott gregson- again. poetry and photography. this one is really cute and it's quite powerful to read i enjoyed it¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (published 2014) i don't know if any of you need this but it's here for ya to take a look at ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ have fun! ap lit is fantastic. i wish i could go back and relive it but i can't. relish it bc honestly it's the best class you'll ever take. i love you rick !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[the-meggsterr]

wow i am so emo. i didn't think it would actually happen. but here we are. at grad parties. at graduation. leaving each other. i didn't think the day would actually come and to be completely honest it doesn't feel real. i love you guys so so much and you have all made me a better person. this class. you people. my friends made me the person i am today. i will miss you all. i can't believe there are 3 months where we are all in the same area (more or less) until we go our separate ways. some of us will move away some will stay home but i'll always have a piece of you in my heart. this is one of the hardest goodbyes ive ever had and for some of you it was just a hello. i'm sorry i got close with some of you senior year and not earlier. i'm sorry i pushed others away. i'm sorry that it's time to move away but i love you. congratulations aplit17 we made it.

[riyaa-99-blog]

It's Goodbye, but it Isn't the End

Mr. Kreinbring, I remember the first day I ever spoke to you. It was back in my freshman year. I had heard ALL about you from my brother, and in my mind, you were a kind of a formidable but supercool celebrity. Apoorva and Tanya would talk about you and your class all the time at our Indian potluck parties, and I couldn’t be more excited yet intimated by your class. You were built up to be this huge monument in high school, and your class was this tall mountain that I’d one day get to tackle. So, at the end of my freshman year, when I had this idea to get all of my brother’s old teachers to sign a birthday card for him, I had to muster up the courage to go and talk to you. I was so scared. I stalled walking down the eng wing for the whole day. I distinctly remember looking down the hallway and turning away at least 3 times. When I finally did have the courage to go up to as you stood outside by your door, I remember I had the squeakiest, quietest little voice ever. You didn’t know who I was, not really, but you were excited about the card and about my brother, which made me feel great. You were actually kind (well, relatively speaking). I don’t remember anything after that, which probably is because I mentally passed out after the relief of not being yelled at.

After that, I didn’t talk to you again until AP Lang. I thought I was so ready for that class. I was ready to be the best damn Lang kid ever. You didn’t scare me anymore. I was ready for everything you’d throw at us and I couldn’t be more excited.

Then, the first week of class, you gave us the Allegory of the Cave, and I couldn’t have been more wrong. I wasn’t ready at all. Lang was one of the most ground-breaking, universe-shattering classes I’ve ever taken, in an entirely good way. In Lit and Lang, I had to break old molds of how I’d done school for so long, and relearn how to learn. I had to learn to trust the process, which goes a lot deeper than just the process of doing a project or writing a paper. I had to learn to trust the process of Lit and Lang, and that once I went through it, once I let the classes teach me what they had to teach me, once I put in the work to understand, I would come out a better writer, a better reader, a better speaker.

I learned so much. I wish I didn’t have to use those words because they sound so cliched and overused at this point, but it’s true. That’s why cliches exist. I learned so much. These classes taught me how to think, how to read and understand and how to talk about my thoughts. They taught me to watch out for how language corrupts thought, taught me defense against the dark arts, taught me that what you call something matters, taught me that…. This class was everything for me. It was the class that stretched me when I didn’t want to think too hard, and it made me grow as a student- for realsies. At the end of this year, I was so ready to leave. I was so ready for new adventures and new beginnings. I was ready for everything the world would throw at me, because I felt invincible after getting through your class. But once again, I have never been more wrong. I’m not ready to leave at all. I’ve made a new home in a new cave, with a new mask on, but this time, it’s one I actually like. It’s one I want to keep, one that helps me see better. And I’m not ready to leave. I have found a home in this class, next to people who aren’t just classmates but friends and a crazy old qook of a teacher. This class was my safe space and also my unexplored, unbound territory. It was comfort blanket and my adventure pack. It was everything.

Thank you so much for everything. Thank you to you, to the class, to the people who I sat in those seats with, who made this experience possible. Thank you.

Sincerely, Riya

[maggieeeeeliz-blog]

A Tribe That's Tied

Hey tribe,

So years from now when Tumblr is the MySpace of today I want to login and see all the little memories that I’ll probably have forgotten by then. Memories of this one weird and fun and difficult class I took when I was 17 and in high school.

I want to remember getting vintage soccer jerseys from the closet I want to remember Kreinbring stealing food I want to remember Lila turning to Bridget I want to remember playing kick ball And the learning tree Ben becoming Bean And every single person in this class

It’s funny how significant seemingly insignificant moments truly are.

Anyways, just want to say thank you so much. Thank you AP Lit for being so unique. I’m grateful for every person. I’m grateful for our humble instructor and for every time we got rhet-or-RICK- rolled by him. I’m even grateful for having to re-do some papers because I know it made me better.

When I think about what I’m saying goodbye to- I know it isn’t rhetoric or language or writing or even necessarily the people, but it’s the combination of them all. Somehow this class allowed us to be real. More real than we could be in other classes and although I hope it’s not something that will go away, it’s what I’ll say I’m going to miss the most. Even so, I wish I could have gotten to know even more of y'all individually. I learned so much but still know there’s so much more I could learn from all of you.

We might not always have eachother, but we’ll all have similar things there for us but we’ll have the lessons we learned, the memories we made.

And through this change Even as you’re miles away

Your writer’s notebook is always there for you. As is mine. And so in some sort of a way, we’ll still be tied.

[benzaremba]

Oh The Places We’ll Go

I have never felt more attachment to a specific class than I have to AP English. It’s basically been one class, with a few people between joining or leaving from both years, but the most of the people have stayed together. Gosh it’s been a great ride, where do I start. 

Both classes just had such an impact on me. Ms. Allan was an amazing person, but I was in an Honors 10 class where I didn’t feel comfortable, I never felt like I could really be myself. I never wanted to be myself, I never had the desire to be remembered by anyone in that class. It wasn’t the place for me, but I wanted to find that space where I could thrive. AP Lang is where I thrived. 

Low key, everyone always stressed about the work, and was always mad about all the work, and the constant stress, etc. To be completely honest, I have never been upset with both classes. There has never been a time when I’ve been genuinely mad about work, or stressed so much that I wanted to die. There were times where I was stressed, but I felt that early on we were taught to deal with it, and it wasn’t that bad. I have never enjoyed being in a class more than I have AP Lang and AP Lit. It was such an experience, I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

AP Lang is where I started to really find who I wanted to be as a person. I started to be characterized by certain things by certain people, and it ended up being some of the best characteristics I have. One simple spelling mistake gave me a marking, a name: Bean, that would stick with me for the next two years. Something that grew from a simple spelling error would end up being something I identify with, and am proud to be. Ben would sometimes be forgotten, left out or ignored, had some self confidence issues or had a lot of doubt in himself, but not Bean. Bean was something that gave me life, and I am really glad I made that spelling mistake. 

All the lessons we learned early in AP Lang were lessons that literally changed most of our lives. The Cave, oh my gosh. I think about The Cave almost every day because all I want to do is work on leaving it. That lesson hit me particularly hard because I had been a deep cave dweller for most of my life. I’ve been sheltered and strict rule follower. There are people who disregard the rules, which isn’t a good thing, but there are some people where breaking the rules isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes you need to break the rules and destroy the cultural norms in order to get where you want to go, and that’s maybe not a lesson I learned completely in this class, but it all fits into this idea of the cave. We are finally about to step out of the cave, but I feel prepared. Sure I’m absolutely terrified, but it’s just life. We just have to go out and live life. We are members of the tribe, and the tribe doesn’t just read but it’s gonna change the world. Whether it’s defending against the dark arts, or leaving the cave, our little tribe is gonna do great things. 

Thank you Mr. Kreinbring. Thank you for pushing us off of points and out of the cave, or at least trying to. Thank you for teaching me how to write, and how to enjoy writing. I’m gonna be honest, I was a terrible writer earlier in high school, I also hated writing with a burning passion. Now, it’s all different. I love writing and I feel so much more confident in it than I ever have. Sure it’s not at the level of some of my classmates, but from where it was almost two years ago, it’s a stunning improvement. 

Thank you Mr. Kreinbring. Thank you for dragging us out of the cave. Thank you for teaching us how to use our voices, and teaching us how to think and how to argue, but not what to think and what to argue. Thank you for providing us with a safe space where we could all come during AP Lit and for some people hate everything about the class, but the classroom itself felt like home. AP Lit this year was one of, if not my favorite class. Our misfit group of students aren’t always cohesive, but it always felt like a family. AP English is where Bean lives and dies, and I am so happy I got to be apart of it. Thank you for everything Mr. Kreinbring. Thank you to all the other members of our tribe that made me feel like I was never alone. I had a lot of great friendships that were built and/or solidified because of AP Lang and AP Lit. Running may not have been high art (I still think it is) but your teaching was definitely high art Mr. Kreinbring. Pinto is eternally grateful for those two classes, Mr. Kreinbring’s unique and extremely beneficial teaching style, and all of the members of those classes. Thank you all for two years of great reading, writing, arguing and learning. Time to tackle the world y’all. <3

[the-meggsterr]

the end

after 13 long years with some of you or 1 short one with others and everything in between, it all is coming to an end now. i can honestly say i have no idea what to do with my life now. there's no ap lit to complain about, no kreinbring picking a fight every 5 seconds, no daily discussion with all of you about almost anything we can think of. for me to say "i'm not ready to say goodbye" would be an understatement because each of my classmates and Kreinbring, even you, changed my life. i am not the girl i was 4 years ago, 2 years ago, last year. I've grown immensely and learned a lot about who i am and where I want to end up. i'm not ready to let go of the class and the classmates that got me there. although it's a great feeling not having to go to school and not be required to read or analyze or any of that, i miss our class already and i miss our discussions. i miss seeing all of you and i miss the feeling of us being together and us facing problems together. lit and lang is a collection of great memories and theyre all special for different reason. my favorite project we did was probably the big lang project that we designed ourselves because it was fun but it also taught me a lot about working with people and time management. in class, one of the most rewarding days was when we did the cave. that allegory messed us all up and the existential crisis was real for that whole week but it's this inside joke that we all have and it's an allusion that we make all the time with each other. it is so relatable and you can apply the cave to almost anything and even though that day messed us all up, it was extremely rewarding in the end. Obviously, turning in the final lit project was a great day and an amazing feeling. it was a party and we all put so much of our hearts and souls into that project that turning it in took a weight off my shoulders and it was such a happy day. building forts and #aplang16sub will always be special memories. this class and these classmates are so full of memories and connections and love that i can't believe it's time for me to leave the common space where we meet 5 days a week. i don't want to leave the class behind or the connections and discussions and the memories we all have. it doesn't feel over, but i know it is. kreinbring- you. i dont know if i hate you or love you but i am thankful for you. last year i was terrified of you. i knew writing was something i wanted to do but i also knew you tore claire's papers apart. i was afraid of failing. i was expecting a grumpy old man who made us harkness a lot and told us we were stupid and though you can be a grumpy old man, you're not what i was expecting. in a weird way, you're encouraging. you helped me find confidence in my writing and my ability to succeed. you helped me learn and you made me actually feel smart. your class was innovative and forward thinking and it taught me more than any other class i've ever taken. you set your expectations high and we had to meet them. you pushed me to be the best writer that i can be and i would not be at this level if you weren't there chewing up my writing (in a semi-nice way) and giving me criticism. you're one of the most incredible teachers in this school and for that I thank you. thank you for listening to us and caring about what we want to do, thank you for being our leader and thank you for stepping back sometimes and letting us figure things out for ourselves. thank you for letting us fail. thank you for teaching me that failing is the way you have to learn some lessons. the lessons i learned in my 2 years with you are lessons i will take with me for the rest of my life. thank you. to my classmates- thank you all for crying with me, laughing with me, growing with me, singing with me, dancing with me, talking with me, protesting with me, reading with me, writing with me, learning with me, and graduating with me. we did it. whether we are ready to walk out of the cave and face the sunlight or not. whether we are ready to stop naming shadows or not. whether we have the mask on or our face grew to fit it, whether we are free from or free to, whether we like it or not, it's time to go. i can't wait to see all of you succeed. i'm equal parts terrified and excited. thank you ap lit. thank you kreinbring. goodbye.

[the-meggsterr]

there's no escaping kreinbring

[the-meggsterr]

i am a member of the tribe that reads and i am writing in NYC(and eating street food)

[the-meggsterr]

i'm in NYC and yet AP Lit follows me everywhere I go