gotta catch 'em all (the milfs)

elaine | 19 | they/them | as seen on too many spirits | a healthy mixture of heartfelt stuff and shitposts

[the-milf-collector]

for my anxious, coffee-loving babes: if you order something unique at a coffee shop, and you notice the baristas talking about it, 99% of the time, they aren't judging you. they're probably talking about trying it later or being curious what they would think of it.

the only time that baristas are probably judging you is if you're super mean to one of them. most of us are so protective of each other.

[the-milf-collector]

returning from the dead to tell you that it gets better. i’m not just telling you, i’m telling myself too. let’s hold each other responsible for having hope. we’ve been through enough, we’ve earned that hope.

[the-milf-collector]

i just remembered that on the red tour, i was with my mom (because i was little) and we were approached by a taylor nation person who was like “hey i love your sign but i just gave out the last of my meet and greet tickets to those girls. do you want upgraded seats instead?” and OBVIOUSLY i’m so grateful that our seats got upgraded but I COULD’VE MET @taylorswift IF WE HAD BEEN THERE A SECOND EARLIER???

[the-milf-collector]

NEW MCU MATT MURDOCK CONTENT EEEEEEP

this is all i’ll be talking about for the next 500 years 

[the-milf-collector]

it is officially “is that a frog or a fallen leaf” season

[the-milf-collector]

i am a Lady M stan first and a human being second

[the-milf-collector]

quiet love is just: i made your favorite meal. i love you. i’ll sit with you at the kitchen table for hours after eating just so we can connect. i cleaned your room because i know you’ve had a long day. i love you. i didn’t make you a poster for hoco but i bought you flowers and read you poems the night of. i doodled you in the margins of my last english assignment. i want to play a card game with you. i love you. you’re too anxious to kiss me but i’ll hug you every time i see you, because it makes you feel safe. i love you. we don’t have to go out with my friends if it overwhelms you. i love you. i love you. i love you.

[the-milf-collector]

me, watching ghost files: everyone is gonna be so sick of me talking about this

[the-milf-collector]

“jog, king” is so funny to me because it’s vaguely a threat, albeit a bizarre one? it’s like: “hey king, you might want to start briskly jogging for your life”

[the-milf-collector]

what weirdly specific character trope are you?

take the uquiz here

[the-milf-collector]

you will never catch me driving behind a logging truck. i saw final destination at a young age. i do not fuck with wood on trucks

[the-milf-collector]

i am here. i am queer. i am also dehydrated, but that doesn’t rhyme

[the-milf-collector]

“god is a puppeteer and i am his silliest puppet.” - a person in my costume design class

[the-milf-collector]

the compulsory heterosexuality urge to marry a man but within the relationship, have no romantic or s*xual components, he just talks to you and smiles at you because it makes you happy and yep i’m describing friendship okay

[radfae]

the lesbian urge to never even think about marrying a man

[the-milf-collector]

the joke is that i want friendship, and society has conditioned me to believe that that desire for companionship is the desire for a romantic relationship. congrats on having the reading comprehension of a 7th grade boy who thinks he’s funny.

[the-milf-collector]

it was ur story on too many spirits u_u

i don't know if this is asking for confirmation but yes, my story was the last one of the most recent season!

[the-milf-collector]

sexy bitches have both mommy and daddy issues

[the-milf-collector]

the compulsory heterosexuality urge to marry a man but within the relationship, have no romantic or s*xual components, he just talks to you and smiles at you because it makes you happy and yep i’m describing friendship okay