The Miserable Fool (JCC OC)

[the-miserable-fool]

I’m Just Lookin’ For A Good Time!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~ “Hey. In this unforgiving form of hell, I’m known as The Miserable Fool. You may address me as such. Let me entertain you to pass the time, it’s so boring here!”

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

(OOC: HIYA!! I’m called Hippo and my pronouns are They/Them!! I’ll try to keep this RP blog as canon as possible but I may get SOME things wrong!! My mistake if so!!)

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Info about The Fool!!:

Their real name is unknown, but with enough buttering up they may tell you.

Pronouns are They/Them.

Based off of jesters, obviously.

Sun and Moon theme!

22 years old.

Good at sleight of hand and close up magic, as well as simple entertainment tricks.

Verrrrry flexible, used to be a contortionist as well as an escape artist.

Omnisexual!!

Slavic and Latinx.

Like 22 or something they’re pretty young.

Most of their background/story you’re gonna have to find out on your own ;3.

RULES/OTHER STUFF:

Be respectful and make sure to think before you post, there’s always people behind the screen! (Unless it’s a joke/in character be as silly as y’all want.)

The Jackpot Crash Course universe belongs to RachelDrawsThis/Studio Investigrave. Fool is just an OC of mine!!

Shipping is fine I don’t really care.

Don’t be too NSFW, just makes me a little uncomfortable. Suggestive asks are welcome.

Anon magic is always fun!

Feel free to come rp with me! It’s what it’s for.

My main blog is @yourlocalhippol0v3r!!

This is my first time creating an RP blog so tips and helpful advice are always welcome! It might be a little unorganized at first but I’ll be working on it!

Pretty much anything goes.

Have fun!!

TAGS!!:

— starring in the circus~~ (in character posts)

— backstage~~ (ooc posts)

— one trick pony~~ (posts with or about Eddie)

— thrill chaser~~ (posts with or about Benny)

— snake charmer~~ (posts with or about Bones)

— sly majorette~~ (posts with or about Cecelia)

— exotic gardener~~ (posts with or about Cobyn)

— the barker~~ (posts with or about Elise)

— the mime~~ (posts with or about Maneki)

— spotted joker~~ (posts with or about Poppy)

— horse ridin’ gal~~ (posts with or about Rook)

— the strongman~~ (posts with or about Sandbag)

— a little birdie told me~~ (posts with or about Sailor)

— tightrope walker~~ (posts with or about Vega)

— lone performer~~ (posts with or about Vick)

— the ringmaster~~ (posts with or about Cupid)

— flame dancer~~ (posts with or about Kiran - @amethyst-art’s OC)

[vengeful-vigilante]

“… who the fuck put you in the blender.”

— @the-miserable-fool

Kiran sighs, leaning his back against the table.

"They're an anon, we don't know their actual identity. It's unfortunate, but I have no clue. I think it was the anon who came into your inbox boasting about how they were gonna get revenge on me and you, or something."

She rubs her arm where a blade wound used to be.

"They did suddenly feel bad and fix me up though, which was... Weird."

[the-miserable-fool]

“… I’ll fuck them up. Kiran, I’m not joking. I’ll beat the shit out of them I don’t care what staff says or what they’ll do to me this is pissing me off.”

Their fists are clenched at their sides and their eyes strangely empty. Jester’s voice was unusually hollow and emotionless.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen at their sudden anger, not expecting it from their usually lighthearted demeanor.

"H- hey, Rocío, it's fine, really. I'm not even hurt, it's not a big deal."

She reaches out to place a calming hand on their shoulder.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. These fuckers think they can push me around like I’m some… thing they can stare and gawk at.”

Their breathing is eerily calm, but their eyes were fixed on something in the distance.

“They think I’m weak, Kiran. I can feel them waiting for me to keel over. It’s the other way around, isn’t it? They’re here for me. I’m keeping them around for fun. I’m in control.”

They meet his eyes.

“… right?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's expression falters, and his eyebrows twitch slightly as he thinks. After a few moments, he sighs and shifts closer to them.

"We're not in control here, Rocío. No one here is."

She sighs.

"And I know that sucks, it's fucking me up too-"

He snarls, but quickly reels himself back in.

"But... But there's no point in agonizing over it. Right now, as much as it annoys me... we just have to take it."

It feels so wrong to say that. Normally he'd find every opportunity to fight back and give the middle finger to any oppression, but... she doesn't know what to do here. She doesn't know how to deal with people who have nothing to lose.

[the-miserable-fool]

(TW: HEAVILY IMPLIED S/A PLEASE ONLY READ THE BOLD IF THE TOPIC MAKES YOU UNCOMFY.)

We’re not in control.

Like before.

They suddenly felt the ghostly imprints of hands everywhere, all over, everywhere.

Wanting, taking, groping, touching. Touching, touching, touching.

Wanting more and more. Nothing would satiate.

They would stare and gawk and watch and laugh and want.

Dance for them. Make them laugh. You are a puppet.

Rocío suddenly couldn’t breathe, icy hands had wrapped around their throat and squeezed it shut. Suffocating.

Can’t kill me, can’t kill me, not allowed, it’s on contract-

They jerked away from Kiran, eyes open but staring at nothing, locked far away from the present.

If they didn’t want it they would make them.

Can’t close your legs if they’ll just pry them open.

They gasp loudly, one hand clawing at their neck while the other clenches into a fist and slams repeatedly into their head.

Stop. Stop.

The pain brought them back, made them calm. They needed it. Needed it before-

A cold weight appeared in their stomach. They gagged.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen and she quickly steps in front of them, wanting to be in their eyeline.

"Fuck- hey, hey, Rocío."

When they start hitting their own head, he curses under his breath and pulls their hands away from themself. He holds them in a gentle, loose grip in case they want to pull away.

"Don't- don't do that, you'll hurt yourself. Please, look at me, c'mon."

She lowers her voice, keeping eye contact and speaking slowly.

"Focus on me, hon, please."

Shit, did she do something? She didn't mean to hurt them, or trigger them, or do anything bad, she just- fuck, he shouldn't have said that, they were clearly not doing well earlier, he should've been reassuring, that wasn't a time for honesty-

No. Now's not the time to be self-depricating.

He steels his voice for them.

"Follow my breaths, please, c'mon."

[the-miserable-fool]

Hands. Hands on them hands everywhere. They want more.

“GET OFF!” They scream, shoving at Kiran with all their might.

This, however, causes them to stumble back. Their breaths come out in ragged wheezes, their chest heaving with the effort to catch more air.

“You’re like them. YOU’RE LIKE THEM. GET THE FUCK OFF ME. DON’T TOUCH ME. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME.”

They wanted more they wanted more. This was their body now theirs. They did what they wanted. What they wanted.

Their hands find their hair and tug ruthlessly on it, blurry vision tunneling onto Kiran.

“I don’t want you I don’t want you I don’t want you you can’t make me. GO AWAY.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The shove does little to push her back, but she steps back to give them some distance. Her wide, concerned and confused eyes flick over them, desperately trying to find some way to help. There's nothing he can do.

You can't fight this like every other issue. You can't brute force your way through it.

Fuck.

"Rocío, listen to me, please, I'm not- I'm not trying to d- do anything. Please, just- calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you."

Her voice shakes as she attempts to calm them down, trying to talk to them while trying not to freak out himself.

[the-miserable-fool]

“Shut up. SHUT UP.” They yell, voice breaking at the last syllable.

A choked sob forces its way out of their throat, and they sniffle loudly.

You’re making a fool out of yourself.

They’re always watching the cameras.

It’s exactly like before.

They turn and bolt in the other direction, legs nearly giving out with how fast they stumbled away.

You’re free. This is a prison. Your body is yours. They’re using you for entertainment. You’re loved. They always want more.

Their brain was at war with itself, a pendulum swinging back and forth. The opposing side was winning, the sways growing weaker and weaker.

They didn’t care where they went, as long as it was quiet.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's heart drops as they sprint away from him and his instinct tells him to run after them, to find them again and fix what was happening, but instead he freezes. This couldn't be fixed by soothing words or reassurance. He doesn't know what to do.

"Shit."

He rubs his cheek hard.

"Shit, shit, shit- fuck!"

She punches the wall next to her with a yell, listening helplessly as they run away. Her knuckles sting.

What does she do?

[the-miserable-fool]

TW: vomiting

Rocío Jester(?) found their way into the bathrooms, fumbling for one of the stall doors and collapsing onto their knees. Their stomach convulsed once, twice, before they throw up into the toilet bowl.

Jester(?!) Rocío curls up after vomiting for a good few moments, burying their head into their knees and finally letting out a ragged sob.

“Gross… s’gross…” they whine pathetically, hearing their own mournful voice echo across the bathroom’s walls.

“Feels so nasty… ‘M so nasty…”

No. No, they didn’t choose it. Wasn’t their fault.

Did they like it? No. No. No. Didn’t. Did not. yes.

Hands everywhere. They were impure. Disgusting.

They cry like that for a good long while, even ending up lying on the bathroom floor, curled into a tight ball.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran stands like that for a while, panting and shaking, until he pulls himself together enough to walk around. He first goes to the bar, grabbing a glass of water in case Rocío would need it when she finds them. Crying did dehydrate people, after all.

She tries to think about this as calmly as possible, trying not to think about the fear and panic in their eyes when they looked at her. The fear wasn't because of her... right?

Eventually, when she walks by the bathrooms, she hears sniffles and her senses are immediately on high alert. He holds back the urge to just smash the door down, and instead tentatively knocks with a trembling hand.

"... Rocío? You in there?..."

She hesitantly calls out.

[the-miserable-fool]

They freeze, snapping up with enough force to bang their head against the wall. Ow.

You fucked it up you fucked it all up it’s over it’s over it’s over.

“… yeah.” They croak out softly, pulling their hat over their face a little more.

They open the stall door, head turned away from him.

Weak pathetic weak pathetic you’re a liability you’re weak.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh, thank Gods they open the door, Kiran actually deflates in relief. His eyes instinctively look over them for any injuries, but they just seem tired and the room smells like vomit, so she can assume what happened.

"Uh, here."

She hands them the glass of water.

"To, uh, wash out the taste of puke."

[the-miserable-fool]

They take it without a word, sipping it slowly to ease the cold weight in their stomach.

“… ‘M sorry,” they mumble out, still hiding behind their bangs and hat.

“Didn’t wanna hurt you.” They glance up and look over for injuries. She seemed fine. Physically anyway.

“… please don’t hate me.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran eyebrows furrow and she tilts her head in genuine confusion.

"Why're you sorry? I don't hate you, you didn't do anything wrong, and, respectfully, that push didn't really do anything."

If anything, his own dumbass self punching the wall gave him more of an injury.

"I should be apologising. I didn't mean to trigger you, or upset you by what I said in any way and I'm... Really sorry that I did."

He rubs the back of his neck in shame, eyes downcast.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I freaked out on you. Lost control. Again. It’s… it’s hard trying to understand which one’s me. Am I doing this for me or doing it for you?”

They rub at one of their arms, where their old scars lay. The bumps on their skin soothed them sometimes.

“I hate not being in control. Reminds me too much of that hellhole.”

Funny how loose your tongue felt when you were a hair’s width from drinking yourself to an early grave.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh.

Oh shit.

She grimaces uncomfortably, unsure of what to say.

"O-oh, that-... That's not-... That's bad."

'That's bad', such eloquent and well put together words, Kiran.

But a few words of their's stand out to him.

"W- wait, what do you mean 'which one's me'?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They tense up, gritting their teeth.

Rocío? Jester? Fool? So many different names. All for public appearances. But when the stage was empty and the crowd was gone, who was there to act for? Who were they when there was no one around?

Whenever they thought about it, they would feel a massive void open in their stomach. Emptiness swallowing them whole.

“… it’s… whatever. I’m fine.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran watches their body and facial language, lips pursed in a concerned frown, but he decides that now is not the time to push.

She had already put together the pieces of what happened in that circus. Their reluctance for touch, the need for control... He knows what happened there. What must've happened so many times.

It fills him with a boiling, burning rage that spreads from his gut to his throat, and the need to search for those people who did it to Rocío and beat them to a pulp, to rip those bastards apart limb from limb and-

He notices the way his nails start to break the skin of his palm and forces himself to breathe deeply, and relax his hands.

"... Sure."

He sighs, before offering gently,

"You can, uhm. Come up to my room and just, chill there? N- not for anything, obviously, just so you can... Have some place quiet to relax."

[the-miserable-fool]

“I…”

They didn’t fuck it up? Why would she stay why would he come back why why why?

They take another gulp of water and try to joke, but it came out half-assed and soft.

“How forward of you,” they mumble, taking a step out of the stall and smoothing out their clothes. They avoided the mirrors in front of them, knowing they’d look like a stupid mess. This costume was awful.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran gives a small smile to humour them.

"C'mon, let's get you somewhere quiet to rest up."

She waits for them to be ready before starting to walk. Even though they seem better now, he can't help but keep checking behind him to make sure they were following and doing okay.

When she reaches the door, she shows the guard her chips, and the guard opens the door for her, keeping it open for them before letting it shut.

Soft jazz music played from some speakers in the room, and he is tempted for a moment to try and find some way to turn it off, but a small part of him tells him that they wouldn't appreciate complete silence.

"You can stay in here as long as you like."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Thanks, Kiran.” They mutter, raspy voice unusually soft and gentle. As if they were afraid to scare themself.

Is this real? Real?

They brush their shaky hands against the walls and recoil at the texture. Scared of a wall, look at you.

Scared of it being real. Real means hurt. Your mask is gone the theatre is empty.

The slow jazz seems to calm them down a little, posture smoothing out, before they looked like a bristled cat.

At somepoint they find a dark corner and… lurk there. Standing. It was awful, they didn’t know where to put their limbs, what to say. They always knew what to say.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran finds a couch to sit on, and she looks over at them with furrowed brows.

"Do you... not wanna sit down? Or lay down and take a nap, or something?" He tentatively offers.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I can… I can do that,” they mumble shortly, walking towards Kiran and sitting beside her. On the other edge of the sofa. They didn’t know how well they’d deal with physical contact right now.

Kiran is good. She’d never do that she’s kind and she’s loving. He doesn’t love me but it’s okay. I don’t mind.

They scoot a little closer, hugging their knees.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran doesn't try to pull them any closer or give any physical reassurance. That wouldn't go well, he could guess that at least.

"Do you... wanna talk about it? Or I can leave as well and just give you some space to think through your stuff."

She keeps her voice low and calm, like she was talking to a scared cat.

[the-miserable-fool]

Talking about it. They needed to do it. It was good, yes? They’ve lived with it for so long…

“I can talk about it. It’s fine, I’ll be… fine.”

They take a deep breath, then release it slowly.

“I was… owned by the circus. When me and my brother were kids, they took us in when we had nowhere else to go. It was one of Mateo’s biggest regrets.”

They lean back, squinting, as if they were trying to search for the memories.

“It was fine, at first. Couldn’t do much but train us and teach us things. Other than reading or writing, they didn’t want us too independent.

“The shows made us a lot of money, many people loved to see the two of us doing tricks and playing. But the customers always wanted more. I was… the more appealing out of the bunch of us.

“Shows became privater and privater, until it was one on one tricks. It changed when I turned 17. Wesley taught me… everything… I know now.”

They cringe, swallowing hard.

“They started to sell me around to different buyers, whoever would pay the most to have a night with me. I’d fuck them, maybe steal some stuff, and report back to him.”

They sniffle, wiping tears from their eyes fiercely.

“They could do whatever they wanted to me. As long as I wasn’t killed.”

A loud sob leaves them, and their bury their face in their knees.

“I didn’t want it- I didn’t- it’s all I know… it hurts so bad…”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran listens with wide eyes, and his hands start shaking.

All he can feel is sadness, sympathy... and the most blinding, intense rage he's ever felt. It claws at his chest, screaming to be free and expressed. It burns through his stomach like wildfire and makes his entire body tense up like he's ready for a fight. And she is. But there is no one to fight.

Those people aren't there. She can't leave Bet and Forgive and go find them. She can give Rocío the justice they're owed, all she can do is comfort them and try to help them heal.

Gods, it scalds him from the inside and makes him sick.

"F- fuck, that's- that's fucking horrible, I'm- I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

He rasps out.

"You-..."

He takes a deep breath, quelling his fury.

"You are so strong for surviving that. I mean it. I... I'm so, so proud of you for being able to... come out of that sort of thing alive and still wanting to live."

[the-miserable-fool]

“I shouldn’t want to,” they cough out, rubbing their nose, “I’ve done… awful things.”

Mateo’s eyes flashed in their mind and they clenched a fist and rammed it into their head. After shaking it clean of all those messy thoughts, they reply again.

“Thanks. Wish I had more time to live… now that I’m stuck here.”

They scoot closer, trying to regulate their breathing. They could sit next to Kiran, they were fine.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran winces as they punch their own head, and his hands shoot up to stop them, but he holds his hands back.

"Y- yeah... It's okay. We can make the most of what we have."

After a few moments of silence, Kiran hesitantly asks,

"A- are you okay with touch now, or are you still a bit, uh... skittish?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They pause, thinking about it.

Do I want Kiran’s comfort? Or do I want Kiran to not be upset?

The ache burned into their chest and they scooted close enough to rest their head on his shoulder. They wanted this.

“I’m okay. Thank you.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran sighs in relief and gently wraps his arm around their shoulders, keeping his hand well above their chest or any lower.

"Yeah... Yeah, no problem, Rocío."

Her fingers move up to massage their head, mostly focusing on the places where they hit themself in case there were any aches needing to be soothed.

[the-miserable-fool]

They chuckle tiredly, rubbing their eyes.

“You’re too nice to me…” they mumble, tense body relaxing a tad.

“Don’t much deserve it. Glad you do care, though.”

[the-miserable-fool]

*teleports you and Kiran to a safe apartment where you can live together and you're pardoned because magic and your criminal records are clean and everything because. Magic.*

(I feel bad for putting Kiran in the torture chamber)

Be free my children 🥹

“… Is this allowed? What?”

They’re wearing normal clothes. In a normal home. With a so called normal life.

This was wrong their skin was itchy.

“I guess we’re not being subjected to torture anymore. Damn it.” They joke awkwardly, looking for Kiran before they started freaking the fuck out.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran lets out a quiet sigh of relief when they fall asleep, slumping into the mattress.

"Thank gods, they're asleep..."

He thinks a little before dipping his head to place a kiss in their hair, lingering for a moment before pulling away. Another sigh leaves her and her eyes shut.

Soon, she falls asleep, with them in her arms, and no dreams of pain.

[the-miserable-fool]

The morning comes, and nearly passes before Rocío comes to. They blink open their eyes, feeling emptiness in their arms first thing.

Their eyes dart around the room in fear, Kiran left them. He got tired of them and left. Left them alone. Life was not worth it.

Then they heard clattering in the kitchen, and their energy returned. Everything was fine.

They get up and try to run a hand through their hair, but freeze when their bangs fall into their face. They push them out of their eyes. And glance into a nearby mirror.

Jesus Christ their hair was fluffy. Eugh.

They try to smoothen it out as they make their way to the kitchen, scratching at an itch on their back.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran hums happily to some music playing from his phone, cracking eggs into a bowl and mixing them while his foot taps on the kitchen tiles.

When she hears footsteps, she immediately turns to face the source of the sound and she grins when she finds Rocío.

"Morning!~ How'd you sleep?"

This is the most energetic she's been in a while, and she looks actually awake and her hair... It's out of its twists. Her afro is on full show, round and fluffy with her ebony and crimson hair shown off in the form of her coils.

[the-miserable-fool]

“… You’re happy.” They remark, rubbing one of their eyes. They couldn’t understand how anyone could be this happy in the morning. The sun was evil.

They approach from behind and lean on one of his shoulders, blinking slowly.

“It’s early,” they groan, burying their face into her shoulder.

“Your hair looks nice…” they mumble out, eyes fluttering shut. “What’re you making?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran giggles, smiling as he gently pulls them closer.

"You can't blame me for being a little excited about all of this. And thanks, I took my hair down this morning. Took like an hour."

She snorts.

"I was just making some scrambled eggs to go with toast, that sound cool?"

And then he points a finger at their face playfully.

"And I'm cutting up an apple for you. No arguments, you need your fruits and veggies."

...

"Also, the fuck you mean it's early? It's 11am, Rocío."

[the-miserable-fool]

They raise their head from her shoulder and glance at the clock on the oven.

“… you heard me.” They yawn loudly, stretching their arms and hearing their bones pop.

“Shit. Ow,” they rub at their back, grimacing. They glare playfully at the fruits and veggies mention and roll their eyes. For no reason, other than the fact that they wanted to piss him off.

“I’m not a child, don’t patronize me. I’ll eat what I want,” they say, opening the fridge and scooping a handful of chocolate chips from the snack drawer and knocking it back into their mouth.

It was, honestly, a childish thing to do. They wouldn’t admit it, though.

[vengeful-vigilante]

The way they yawn briefly reminds him of a sleepy cat, and he smiles at the thought. A snort leaves her as they knock back a few chocolate chips.

"Grown ass, 22 year old person. Fine, we'll split the apple, but you're getting some anyway."

He grimaces at the horrendous sounds leaving their body as they stretch.

"The fuck? You sound like a glow stick when you break the glass in them."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Eugh. I know, something’s up with my bones or something. Makes ‘em hurt sometimes.”

They blink sleepily, turning to face her, tilting their head.

“Glow sticks have glass in them? Hah, didn’t know that.”

Rocío walks back to him like an old dog, cementing itself in its place, right by his side.

[vengeful-vigilante]

"Yeah, it's a little vial of chemicals. It has hydrogen peroxide in it, while the outside has phenyl oxalate ester-"

Kiran stops herself before she goes rambling.

"Eh, nevermind."

He hums in thought at their statement, cutting up the apple and taking the time and care to carve out the seeds and core.

"You could be hyper mobile, that can sometimes bring joint aches. You're, like, super flexible, right?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They blink slowly, leaning over her shoulder, watching her cut the apples.

“… yeah, super flexible.” They wink.

“What’s hyper mobile?” They ask, trying to stretch some more, moving their joints in… odd ways that looked more like their skeleton was trying to escape their body rather than stretching.

They frown a little. They wanted to hear more about the glow stick thing…

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran looks at the way their joints move and clicks her tongue before pointing at their elbow.

"That."

He huffs.

"Okay, actually, let me properly explain. It's basically when your joints have an unusually large range of motion. It's cool for, like, gymnast and contortionist shit, but it can also lead to frequent dislocations, joint pain, and extreme fatigue. It's a chronic condition that's usually passed by genetics."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Huh. So that’s why I’m tired all the time.” They hum thoughtfully, tapping a finger against their chin.

“… thanks for telling me, I’m not good with words.”

They lean against the counter and gesture to her with a nod.

“How about you, any weird stuff you can do?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

"Don't take it as a diagnosis, I'm not a doctor."

Kiran chuckles.

"Nah, my body's pretty normal. Kinda boring compared to what yours can do-"

She glares at them light-heartedly.

"Don't make that sentence weird."

She starts plating up the eggs and toast onto separate dishes, putting the apple slices into a bowl for them to share.

[the-miserable-fool]

They cackle sharply, voice breaking from disuse.

“You know me so well, amorcito.” They giggle, tilting their head at him.

Plucking an apple slice from their plate, they pop it into their mouth and crunch, feeling juice explode in their mouth.

It was delicious. Being free from Bet and Forgive as well as prison is really going to expand their taste palette.

“Damn. I have to admit, this is kind of good.”

They pause, letting them both eat for a bit.

“So, what are we?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The question makes Kiran stop and nearly choke on her eggs. He coughs into his fist, eyes wide and cheeks red.

"Ah- wh- huh?"

She stares at them in shock.

"Wh- what do you mean?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They stare at him expectantly for a long time, before bursting into a fit of giggles.

“HAH! You should’ve seen your face! God, so serious! Lighten up, amorcito, we’re free.”

They nudge her with yet another apple in their mouth, humming contently while chewing it.

“I think this is my new favorite food.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran coughs again, giving a shaky smile.

"Gods, right, okay..."

She laughs awkwardly into her hand.

"Well, good to know you like the, uhm, apple."

They both finish their food after a while and after she puts their dishes in the dishwasher, she turns to them.

"So, where did you wanna go out today?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They perk up and tilt their head, following her to the kitchen. They were doing that a lot.

“I don’t care.” Rocío wasn’t great at plans at all. They hardly followed them either. Their idea of a plan was mostly ‘something something something, we win.’

“We can go to the gym, you wanted to go there,” they offer, dipping their head at him with a wide grin to match his height more.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran hums in thought.

"Sure. Then maybe we could grab lunch somewhere... I should search up if there are any cool places to go in Modos."

He leans his back against the counter and pulls out his phone, searching up places to go.

"A few parks, some stores... oh! There's a museum, maybe there?"

[the-miserable-fool]

The sound of an old museum makes their skin itch with energy. If Kiran liked it they would go, he made everything fun.

“Whatever you want, amorcito, the museum sounds lovely.”

They grin wider, bones aching again, and lean against the counter, trying to relieve the pressure on their hips.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran grins excitedly at the idea, looking at photos of the place.

"Fuck yeah, they seem to have all sorts of cool dinosaur bones in there and shit, and-"

He notices the barely hidden grimace on their face, and stops in the middle of his ramble.

"You good? You look like you're in pain."

[the-miserable-fool]

They smile at her excitement, tilting their head at her.

“Me? My body hurts sometimes, if I stand for too long or something. Randomly I get random flares in my spine and muscles and that shit hurts like hell. Otherwise I’m fine.”

They shrug, adjusting their position.

[vengeful-vigilante]

"I- what?"

Kiran's brows furrow in concern.

"The fuck you mean? That's so not normal, I didn't know you had chronic pain. Are you sure you're okay to go out? We can just stay home."

[the-miserable-fool]

“I didn’t know there was a name for it.” They blink, then continue, “No, no, I’ve lived for this long with it, we’ve been stuck in this apartment. I want to go out, with you. You don’t need to be cooped up because of me.”

They shake their head while they talk, raising up their hands, “I’ll be fine, amorcito, really.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran curses under his breath, leg bouncing restlessly as he thinks.

"Hold on, let me look around."

She pushes himself off the counter and walks around the apartment, hoping to find a cane, a wheelchair, or some other kind of mobility aid. Amethyst must've put something in here.

Finally, in the landing area in front of the front door, she finds a cane and sighs in relief before picking it up and walking back over to them.

"Here, try standing with this maybe?"

He hands it over.

[the-miserable-fool]

They unfold the cane with three clicks, blinking I surprise.

“They really thought of everything, huh? How did she know about this?”

Rocío wasn’t sure if they felt thankful or mildly creeped out. They chose the former. They lean on the cane and sigh in relief when the pressure released from their hips. Goddamn, that felt good.

“Feels like I can actually walk, hah!”

[the-miserable-fool]

If you were an ice cream flavor what flavor would you be

“Rocky Road. I like how it’s three flavors at once!”

They giggle and tilt their head, “Odd question. I like you.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

“… who the fuck put you in the blender.”

— @the-miserable-fool

Kiran sighs, leaning his back against the table.

"They're an anon, we don't know their actual identity. It's unfortunate, but I have no clue. I think it was the anon who came into your inbox boasting about how they were gonna get revenge on me and you, or something."

She rubs her arm where a blade wound used to be.

"They did suddenly feel bad and fix me up though, which was... Weird."

[the-miserable-fool]

“… I’ll fuck them up. Kiran, I’m not joking. I’ll beat the shit out of them I don’t care what staff says or what they’ll do to me this is pissing me off.”

Their fists are clenched at their sides and their eyes strangely empty. Jester’s voice was unusually hollow and emotionless.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen at their sudden anger, not expecting it from their usually lighthearted demeanor.

"H- hey, Rocío, it's fine, really. I'm not even hurt, it's not a big deal."

She reaches out to place a calming hand on their shoulder.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. These fuckers think they can push me around like I’m some… thing they can stare and gawk at.”

Their breathing is eerily calm, but their eyes were fixed on something in the distance.

“They think I’m weak, Kiran. I can feel them waiting for me to keel over. It’s the other way around, isn’t it? They’re here for me. I’m keeping them around for fun. I’m in control.”

They meet his eyes.

“… right?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's expression falters, and his eyebrows twitch slightly as he thinks. After a few moments, he sighs and shifts closer to them.

"We're not in control here, Rocío. No one here is."

She sighs.

"And I know that sucks, it's fucking me up too-"

He snarls, but quickly reels himself back in.

"But... But there's no point in agonizing over it. Right now, as much as it annoys me... we just have to take it."

It feels so wrong to say that. Normally he'd find every opportunity to fight back and give the middle finger to any oppression, but... she doesn't know what to do here. She doesn't know how to deal with people who have nothing to lose.

[the-miserable-fool]

(TW: HEAVILY IMPLIED S/A PLEASE ONLY READ THE BOLD IF THE TOPIC MAKES YOU UNCOMFY.)

We’re not in control.

Like before.

They suddenly felt the ghostly imprints of hands everywhere, all over, everywhere.

Wanting, taking, groping, touching. Touching, touching, touching.

Wanting more and more. Nothing would satiate.

They would stare and gawk and watch and laugh and want.

Dance for them. Make them laugh. You are a puppet.

Rocío suddenly couldn’t breathe, icy hands had wrapped around their throat and squeezed it shut. Suffocating.

Can’t kill me, can’t kill me, not allowed, it’s on contract-

They jerked away from Kiran, eyes open but staring at nothing, locked far away from the present.

If they didn’t want it they would make them.

Can’t close your legs if they’ll just pry them open.

They gasp loudly, one hand clawing at their neck while the other clenches into a fist and slams repeatedly into their head.

Stop. Stop.

The pain brought them back, made them calm. They needed it. Needed it before-

A cold weight appeared in their stomach. They gagged.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen and she quickly steps in front of them, wanting to be in their eyeline.

"Fuck- hey, hey, Rocío."

When they start hitting their own head, he curses under his breath and pulls their hands away from themself. He holds them in a gentle, loose grip in case they want to pull away.

"Don't- don't do that, you'll hurt yourself. Please, look at me, c'mon."

She lowers her voice, keeping eye contact and speaking slowly.

"Focus on me, hon, please."

Shit, did she do something? She didn't mean to hurt them, or trigger them, or do anything bad, she just- fuck, he shouldn't have said that, they were clearly not doing well earlier, he should've been reassuring, that wasn't a time for honesty-

No. Now's not the time to be self-depricating.

He steels his voice for them.

"Follow my breaths, please, c'mon."

[the-miserable-fool]

Hands. Hands on them hands everywhere. They want more.

“GET OFF!” They scream, shoving at Kiran with all their might.

This, however, causes them to stumble back. Their breaths come out in ragged wheezes, their chest heaving with the effort to catch more air.

“You’re like them. YOU’RE LIKE THEM. GET THE FUCK OFF ME. DON’T TOUCH ME. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME.”

They wanted more they wanted more. This was their body now theirs. They did what they wanted. What they wanted.

Their hands find their hair and tug ruthlessly on it, blurry vision tunneling onto Kiran.

“I don’t want you I don’t want you I don’t want you you can’t make me. GO AWAY.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The shove does little to push her back, but she steps back to give them some distance. Her wide, concerned and confused eyes flick over them, desperately trying to find some way to help. There's nothing he can do.

You can't fight this like every other issue. You can't brute force your way through it.

Fuck.

"Rocío, listen to me, please, I'm not- I'm not trying to d- do anything. Please, just- calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you."

Her voice shakes as she attempts to calm them down, trying to talk to them while trying not to freak out himself.

[the-miserable-fool]

“Shut up. SHUT UP.” They yell, voice breaking at the last syllable.

A choked sob forces its way out of their throat, and they sniffle loudly.

You’re making a fool out of yourself.

They’re always watching the cameras.

It’s exactly like before.

They turn and bolt in the other direction, legs nearly giving out with how fast they stumbled away.

You’re free. This is a prison. Your body is yours. They’re using you for entertainment. You’re loved. They always want more.

Their brain was at war with itself, a pendulum swinging back and forth. The opposing side was winning, the sways growing weaker and weaker.

They didn’t care where they went, as long as it was quiet.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's heart drops as they sprint away from him and his instinct tells him to run after them, to find them again and fix what was happening, but instead he freezes. This couldn't be fixed by soothing words or reassurance. He doesn't know what to do.

"Shit."

He rubs his cheek hard.

"Shit, shit, shit- fuck!"

She punches the wall next to her with a yell, listening helplessly as they run away. Her knuckles sting.

What does she do?

[the-miserable-fool]

TW: vomiting

Rocío Jester(?) found their way into the bathrooms, fumbling for one of the stall doors and collapsing onto their knees. Their stomach convulsed once, twice, before they throw up into the toilet bowl.

Jester(?!) Rocío curls up after vomiting for a good few moments, burying their head into their knees and finally letting out a ragged sob.

“Gross… s’gross…” they whine pathetically, hearing their own mournful voice echo across the bathroom’s walls.

“Feels so nasty… ‘M so nasty…”

No. No, they didn’t choose it. Wasn’t their fault.

Did they like it? No. No. No. Didn’t. Did not. yes.

Hands everywhere. They were impure. Disgusting.

They cry like that for a good long while, even ending up lying on the bathroom floor, curled into a tight ball.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran stands like that for a while, panting and shaking, until he pulls himself together enough to walk around. He first goes to the bar, grabbing a glass of water in case Rocío would need it when she finds them. Crying did dehydrate people, after all.

She tries to think about this as calmly as possible, trying not to think about the fear and panic in their eyes when they looked at her. The fear wasn't because of her... right?

Eventually, when she walks by the bathrooms, she hears sniffles and her senses are immediately on high alert. He holds back the urge to just smash the door down, and instead tentatively knocks with a trembling hand.

"... Rocío? You in there?..."

She hesitantly calls out.

[the-miserable-fool]

They freeze, snapping up with enough force to bang their head against the wall. Ow.

You fucked it up you fucked it all up it’s over it’s over it’s over.

“… yeah.” They croak out softly, pulling their hat over their face a little more.

They open the stall door, head turned away from him.

Weak pathetic weak pathetic you’re a liability you’re weak.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh, thank Gods they open the door, Kiran actually deflates in relief. His eyes instinctively look over them for any injuries, but they just seem tired and the room smells like vomit, so she can assume what happened.

"Uh, here."

She hands them the glass of water.

"To, uh, wash out the taste of puke."

[the-miserable-fool]

They take it without a word, sipping it slowly to ease the cold weight in their stomach.

“… ‘M sorry,” they mumble out, still hiding behind their bangs and hat.

“Didn’t wanna hurt you.” They glance up and look over for injuries. She seemed fine. Physically anyway.

“… please don’t hate me.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran eyebrows furrow and she tilts her head in genuine confusion.

"Why're you sorry? I don't hate you, you didn't do anything wrong, and, respectfully, that push didn't really do anything."

If anything, his own dumbass self punching the wall gave him more of an injury.

"I should be apologising. I didn't mean to trigger you, or upset you by what I said in any way and I'm... Really sorry that I did."

He rubs the back of his neck in shame, eyes downcast.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I freaked out on you. Lost control. Again. It’s… it’s hard trying to understand which one’s me. Am I doing this for me or doing it for you?”

They rub at one of their arms, where their old scars lay. The bumps on their skin soothed them sometimes.

“I hate not being in control. Reminds me too much of that hellhole.”

Funny how loose your tongue felt when you were a hair’s width from drinking yourself to an early grave.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh.

Oh shit.

She grimaces uncomfortably, unsure of what to say.

"O-oh, that-... That's not-... That's bad."

'That's bad', such eloquent and well put together words, Kiran.

But a few words of their's stand out to him.

"W- wait, what do you mean 'which one's me'?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They tense up, gritting their teeth.

Rocío? Jester? Fool? So many different names. All for public appearances. But when the stage was empty and the crowd was gone, who was there to act for? Who were they when there was no one around?

Whenever they thought about it, they would feel a massive void open in their stomach. Emptiness swallowing them whole.

“… it’s… whatever. I’m fine.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran watches their body and facial language, lips pursed in a concerned frown, but he decides that now is not the time to push.

She had already put together the pieces of what happened in that circus. Their reluctance for touch, the need for control... He knows what happened there. What must've happened so many times.

It fills him with a boiling, burning rage that spreads from his gut to his throat, and the need to search for those people who did it to Rocío and beat them to a pulp, to rip those bastards apart limb from limb and-

He notices the way his nails start to break the skin of his palm and forces himself to breathe deeply, and relax his hands.

"... Sure."

He sighs, before offering gently,

"You can, uhm. Come up to my room and just, chill there? N- not for anything, obviously, just so you can... Have some place quiet to relax."

[the-miserable-fool]

“I…”

They didn’t fuck it up? Why would she stay why would he come back why why why?

They take another gulp of water and try to joke, but it came out half-assed and soft.

“How forward of you,” they mumble, taking a step out of the stall and smoothing out their clothes. They avoided the mirrors in front of them, knowing they’d look like a stupid mess. This costume was awful.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran gives a small smile to humour them.

"C'mon, let's get you somewhere quiet to rest up."

She waits for them to be ready before starting to walk. Even though they seem better now, he can't help but keep checking behind him to make sure they were following and doing okay.

When she reaches the door, she shows the guard her chips, and the guard opens the door for her, keeping it open for them before letting it shut.

Soft jazz music played from some speakers in the room, and he is tempted for a moment to try and find some way to turn it off, but a small part of him tells him that they wouldn't appreciate complete silence.

"You can stay in here as long as you like."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Thanks, Kiran.” They mutter, raspy voice unusually soft and gentle. As if they were afraid to scare themself.

Is this real? Real?

They brush their shaky hands against the walls and recoil at the texture. Scared of a wall, look at you.

Scared of it being real. Real means hurt. Your mask is gone the theatre is empty.

The slow jazz seems to calm them down a little, posture smoothing out, before they looked like a bristled cat.

At somepoint they find a dark corner and… lurk there. Standing. It was awful, they didn’t know where to put their limbs, what to say. They always knew what to say.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran finds a couch to sit on, and she looks over at them with furrowed brows.

"Do you... not wanna sit down? Or lay down and take a nap, or something?" He tentatively offers.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I can… I can do that,” they mumble shortly, walking towards Kiran and sitting beside her. On the other edge of the sofa. They didn’t know how well they’d deal with physical contact right now.

Kiran is good. She’d never do that she’s kind and she’s loving. He doesn’t love me but it’s okay. I don’t mind.

They scoot a little closer, hugging their knees.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran doesn't try to pull them any closer or give any physical reassurance. That wouldn't go well, he could guess that at least.

"Do you... wanna talk about it? Or I can leave as well and just give you some space to think through your stuff."

She keeps her voice low and calm, like she was talking to a scared cat.

[the-miserable-fool]

Talking about it. They needed to do it. It was good, yes? They’ve lived with it for so long…

“I can talk about it. It’s fine, I’ll be… fine.”

They take a deep breath, then release it slowly.

“I was… owned by the circus. When me and my brother were kids, they took us in when we had nowhere else to go. It was one of Mateo’s biggest regrets.”

They lean back, squinting, as if they were trying to search for the memories.

“It was fine, at first. Couldn’t do much but train us and teach us things. Other than reading or writing, they didn’t want us too independent.

“The shows made us a lot of money, many people loved to see the two of us doing tricks and playing. But the customers always wanted more. I was… the more appealing out of the bunch of us.

“Shows became privater and privater, until it was one on one tricks. It changed when I turned 17. Wesley taught me… everything… I know now.”

They cringe, swallowing hard.

“They started to sell me around to different buyers, whoever would pay the most to have a night with me. I’d fuck them, maybe steal some stuff, and report back to him.”

They sniffle, wiping tears from their eyes fiercely.

“They could do whatever they wanted to me. As long as I wasn’t killed.”

A loud sob leaves them, and their bury their face in their knees.

“I didn’t want it- I didn’t- it’s all I know… it hurts so bad…”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran listens with wide eyes, and his hands start shaking.

All he can feel is sadness, sympathy... and the most blinding, intense rage he's ever felt. It claws at his chest, screaming to be free and expressed. It burns through his stomach like wildfire and makes his entire body tense up like he's ready for a fight. And she is. But there is no one to fight.

Those people aren't there. She can't leave Bet and Forgive and go find them. She can give Rocío the justice they're owed, all she can do is comfort them and try to help them heal.

Gods, it scalds him from the inside and makes him sick.

"F- fuck, that's- that's fucking horrible, I'm- I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

He rasps out.

"You-..."

He takes a deep breath, quelling his fury.

"You are so strong for surviving that. I mean it. I... I'm so, so proud of you for being able to... come out of that sort of thing alive and still wanting to live."

[the-miserable-fool]

“I shouldn’t want to,” they cough out, rubbing their nose, “I’ve done… awful things.”

Mateo’s eyes flashed in their mind and they clenched a fist and rammed it into their head. After shaking it clean of all those messy thoughts, they reply again.

“Thanks. Wish I had more time to live… now that I’m stuck here.”

They scoot closer, trying to regulate their breathing. They could sit next to Kiran, they were fine.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran winces as they punch their own head, and his hands shoot up to stop them, but he holds his hands back.

"Y- yeah... It's okay. We can make the most of what we have."

After a few moments of silence, Kiran hesitantly asks,

"A- are you okay with touch now, or are you still a bit, uh... skittish?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They pause, thinking about it.

Do I want Kiran’s comfort? Or do I want Kiran to not be upset?

The ache burned into their chest and they scooted close enough to rest their head on his shoulder. They wanted this.

“I’m okay. Thank you.”

[the-miserable-fool]

"Psst, hey, Fool... I g-got something for you..."

Bree hands Jester a small closed container.

"I was spending some time at IN-FUN-O... Aaaand decided to get something as a snack... I am t-truly surprised they served coffee puddings here... Thought it would be a great idea to share..."

@fragile-servant

“Coffee pudding? Why thank you, that’s very kind.”

They take the dessert from her hands and pat her on the head.

“I suppose in return I’ll give you some advice. Vick’s a scammer, watch out for him. Don’t offer your chips unless you’re absolutely sure you want whatever information he’s got. Scammed our poor Bull out of 20 chips… tsk tsk.”

[fragile-servant]

She shuddered from sudden physical contact... "Y-Yeah... I-I've experienced something l-like that... They scammed our "Crew" for a medical kit t-they didn't even need!... ughh..." She sighed heavily, getting reminded of the whole situation... "R-really hope you will enjoy this pudding... One of my favourite d-desserts..."

[the-miserable-fool]

“You have great taste,” they reply with a giggle, happily taking a bite. They moan appreciatively at the flavor, closing their eyes for a moment.

“Better than I thought!”

They nod sympathetically at her complaints, frowning dramatically at her stories.

“Can’t some people have some heart nowadays? It’s so sad…”

[the-miserable-fool]

*teleports you and Kiran to a safe apartment where you can live together and you're pardoned because magic and your criminal records are clean and everything because. Magic.*

(I feel bad for putting Kiran in the torture chamber)

Be free my children 🥹

“… Is this allowed? What?”

They’re wearing normal clothes. In a normal home. With a so called normal life.

This was wrong their skin was itchy.

“I guess we’re not being subjected to torture anymore. Damn it.” They joke awkwardly, looking for Kiran before they started freaking the fuck out.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran lets out a quiet sigh of relief when they fall asleep, slumping into the mattress.

"Thank gods, they're asleep..."

He thinks a little before dipping his head to place a kiss in their hair, lingering for a moment before pulling away. Another sigh leaves her and her eyes shut.

Soon, she falls asleep, with them in her arms, and no dreams of pain.

[the-miserable-fool]

The morning comes, and nearly passes before Rocío comes to. They blink open their eyes, feeling emptiness in their arms first thing.

Their eyes dart around the room in fear, Kiran left them. He got tired of them and left. Left them alone. Life was not worth it.

Then they heard clattering in the kitchen, and their energy returned. Everything was fine.

They get up and try to run a hand through their hair, but freeze when their bangs fall into their face. They push them out of their eyes. And glance into a nearby mirror.

Jesus Christ their hair was fluffy. Eugh.

They try to smoothen it out as they make their way to the kitchen, scratching at an itch on their back.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran hums happily to some music playing from his phone, cracking eggs into a bowl and mixing them while his foot taps on the kitchen tiles.

When she hears footsteps, she immediately turns to face the source of the sound and she grins when she finds Rocío.

"Morning!~ How'd you sleep?"

This is the most energetic she's been in a while, and she looks actually awake and her hair... It's out of its twists. Her afro is on full show, round and fluffy with her ebony and crimson hair shown off in the form of her coils.

[the-miserable-fool]

“… You’re happy.” They remark, rubbing one of their eyes. They couldn’t understand how anyone could be this happy in the morning. The sun was evil.

They approach from behind and lean on one of his shoulders, blinking slowly.

“It’s early,” they groan, burying their face into her shoulder.

“Your hair looks nice…” they mumble out, eyes fluttering shut. “What’re you making?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran giggles, smiling as he gently pulls them closer.

"You can't blame me for being a little excited about all of this. And thanks, I took my hair down this morning. Took like an hour."

She snorts.

"I was just making some scrambled eggs to go with toast, that sound cool?"

And then he points a finger at their face playfully.

"And I'm cutting up an apple for you. No arguments, you need your fruits and veggies."

...

"Also, the fuck you mean it's early? It's 11am, Rocío."

[the-miserable-fool]

They raise their head from her shoulder and glance at the clock on the oven.

“… you heard me.” They yawn loudly, stretching their arms and hearing their bones pop.

“Shit. Ow,” they rub at their back, grimacing. They glare playfully at the fruits and veggies mention and roll their eyes. For no reason, other than the fact that they wanted to piss him off.

“I’m not a child, don’t patronize me. I’ll eat what I want,” they say, opening the fridge and scooping a handful of chocolate chips from the snack drawer and knocking it back into their mouth.

It was, honestly, a childish thing to do. They wouldn’t admit it, though.

[vengeful-vigilante]

The way they yawn briefly reminds him of a sleepy cat, and he smiles at the thought. A snort leaves her as they knock back a few chocolate chips.

"Grown ass, 22 year old person. Fine, we'll split the apple, but you're getting some anyway."

He grimaces at the horrendous sounds leaving their body as they stretch.

"The fuck? You sound like a glow stick when you break the glass in them."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Eugh. I know, something’s up with my bones or something. Makes ‘em hurt sometimes.”

They blink sleepily, turning to face her, tilting their head.

“Glow sticks have glass in them? Hah, didn’t know that.”

Rocío walks back to him like an old dog, cementing itself in its place, right by his side.

[vengeful-vigilante]

"Yeah, it's a little vial of chemicals. It has hydrogen peroxide in it, while the outside has phenyl oxalate ester-"

Kiran stops herself before she goes rambling.

"Eh, nevermind."

He hums in thought at their statement, cutting up the apple and taking the time and care to carve out the seeds and core.

"You could be hyper mobile, that can sometimes bring joint aches. You're, like, super flexible, right?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They blink slowly, leaning over her shoulder, watching her cut the apples.

“… yeah, super flexible.” They wink.

“What’s hyper mobile?” They ask, trying to stretch some more, moving their joints in… odd ways that looked more like their skeleton was trying to escape their body rather than stretching.

They frown a little. They wanted to hear more about the glow stick thing…

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran looks at the way their joints move and clicks her tongue before pointing at their elbow.

"That."

He huffs.

"Okay, actually, let me properly explain. It's basically when your joints have an unusually large range of motion. It's cool for, like, gymnast and contortionist shit, but it can also lead to frequent dislocations, joint pain, and extreme fatigue. It's a chronic condition that's usually passed by genetics."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Huh. So that’s why I’m tired all the time.” They hum thoughtfully, tapping a finger against their chin.

“… thanks for telling me, I’m not good with words.”

They lean against the counter and gesture to her with a nod.

“How about you, any weird stuff you can do?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

"Don't take it as a diagnosis, I'm not a doctor."

Kiran chuckles.

"Nah, my body's pretty normal. Kinda boring compared to what yours can do-"

She glares at them light-heartedly.

"Don't make that sentence weird."

She starts plating up the eggs and toast onto separate dishes, putting the apple slices into a bowl for them to share.

[the-miserable-fool]

They cackle sharply, voice breaking from disuse.

“You know me so well, amorcito.” They giggle, tilting their head at him.

Plucking an apple slice from their plate, they pop it into their mouth and crunch, feeling juice explode in their mouth.

It was delicious. Being free from Bet and Forgive as well as prison is really going to expand their taste palette.

“Damn. I have to admit, this is kind of good.”

They pause, letting them both eat for a bit.

“So, what are we?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The question makes Kiran stop and nearly choke on her eggs. He coughs into his fist, eyes wide and cheeks red.

"Ah- wh- huh?"

She stares at them in shock.

"Wh- what do you mean?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They stare at him expectantly for a long time, before bursting into a fit of giggles.

“HAH! You should’ve seen your face! God, so serious! Lighten up, amorcito, we’re free.”

They nudge her with yet another apple in their mouth, humming contently while chewing it.

“I think this is my new favorite food.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran coughs again, giving a shaky smile.

"Gods, right, okay..."

She laughs awkwardly into her hand.

"Well, good to know you like the, uhm, apple."

They both finish their food after a while and after she puts their dishes in the dishwasher, she turns to them.

"So, where did you wanna go out today?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They perk up and tilt their head, following her to the kitchen. They were doing that a lot.

“I don’t care.” Rocío wasn’t great at plans at all. They hardly followed them either. Their idea of a plan was mostly ‘something something something, we win.’

“We can go to the gym, you wanted to go there,” they offer, dipping their head at him with a wide grin to match his height more.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran hums in thought.

"Sure. Then maybe we could grab lunch somewhere... I should search up if there are any cool places to go in Modos."

He leans his back against the counter and pulls out his phone, searching up places to go.

"A few parks, some stores... oh! There's a museum, maybe there?"

[the-miserable-fool]

The sound of an old museum makes their skin itch with energy. If Kiran liked it they would go, he made everything fun.

“Whatever you want, amorcito, the museum sounds lovely.”

They grin wider, bones aching again, and lean against the counter, trying to relieve the pressure on their hips.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran grins excitedly at the idea, looking at photos of the place.

"Fuck yeah, they seem to have all sorts of cool dinosaur bones in there and shit, and-"

He notices the barely hidden grimace on their face, and stops in the middle of his ramble.

"You good? You look like you're in pain."

[the-miserable-fool]

They smile at her excitement, tilting their head at her.

“Me? My body hurts sometimes, if I stand for too long or something. Randomly I get random flares in my spine and muscles and that shit hurts like hell. Otherwise I’m fine.”

They shrug, adjusting their position.

[vengeful-vigilante]

"I- what?"

Kiran's brows furrow in concern.

"The fuck you mean? That's so not normal, I didn't know you had chronic pain. Are you sure you're okay to go out? We can just stay home."

[the-miserable-fool]

“I didn’t know there was a name for it.” They blink, then continue, “No, no, I’ve lived for this long with it, we’ve been stuck in this apartment. I want to go out, with you. You don’t need to be cooped up because of me.”

They shake their head while they talk, raising up their hands, “I’ll be fine, amorcito, really.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

“… who the fuck put you in the blender.”

— @the-miserable-fool

Kiran sighs, leaning his back against the table.

"They're an anon, we don't know their actual identity. It's unfortunate, but I have no clue. I think it was the anon who came into your inbox boasting about how they were gonna get revenge on me and you, or something."

She rubs her arm where a blade wound used to be.

"They did suddenly feel bad and fix me up though, which was... Weird."

[the-miserable-fool]

“… I’ll fuck them up. Kiran, I’m not joking. I’ll beat the shit out of them I don’t care what staff says or what they’ll do to me this is pissing me off.”

Their fists are clenched at their sides and their eyes strangely empty. Jester’s voice was unusually hollow and emotionless.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen at their sudden anger, not expecting it from their usually lighthearted demeanor.

"H- hey, Rocío, it's fine, really. I'm not even hurt, it's not a big deal."

She reaches out to place a calming hand on their shoulder.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. These fuckers think they can push me around like I’m some… thing they can stare and gawk at.”

Their breathing is eerily calm, but their eyes were fixed on something in the distance.

“They think I’m weak, Kiran. I can feel them waiting for me to keel over. It’s the other way around, isn’t it? They’re here for me. I’m keeping them around for fun. I’m in control.”

They meet his eyes.

“… right?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's expression falters, and his eyebrows twitch slightly as he thinks. After a few moments, he sighs and shifts closer to them.

"We're not in control here, Rocío. No one here is."

She sighs.

"And I know that sucks, it's fucking me up too-"

He snarls, but quickly reels himself back in.

"But... But there's no point in agonizing over it. Right now, as much as it annoys me... we just have to take it."

It feels so wrong to say that. Normally he'd find every opportunity to fight back and give the middle finger to any oppression, but... she doesn't know what to do here. She doesn't know how to deal with people who have nothing to lose.

[the-miserable-fool]

(TW: HEAVILY IMPLIED S/A PLEASE ONLY READ THE BOLD IF THE TOPIC MAKES YOU UNCOMFY.)

We’re not in control.

Like before.

They suddenly felt the ghostly imprints of hands everywhere, all over, everywhere.

Wanting, taking, groping, touching. Touching, touching, touching.

Wanting more and more. Nothing would satiate.

They would stare and gawk and watch and laugh and want.

Dance for them. Make them laugh. You are a puppet.

Rocío suddenly couldn’t breathe, icy hands had wrapped around their throat and squeezed it shut. Suffocating.

Can’t kill me, can’t kill me, not allowed, it’s on contract-

They jerked away from Kiran, eyes open but staring at nothing, locked far away from the present.

If they didn’t want it they would make them.

Can’t close your legs if they’ll just pry them open.

They gasp loudly, one hand clawing at their neck while the other clenches into a fist and slams repeatedly into their head.

Stop. Stop.

The pain brought them back, made them calm. They needed it. Needed it before-

A cold weight appeared in their stomach. They gagged.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen and she quickly steps in front of them, wanting to be in their eyeline.

"Fuck- hey, hey, Rocío."

When they start hitting their own head, he curses under his breath and pulls their hands away from themself. He holds them in a gentle, loose grip in case they want to pull away.

"Don't- don't do that, you'll hurt yourself. Please, look at me, c'mon."

She lowers her voice, keeping eye contact and speaking slowly.

"Focus on me, hon, please."

Shit, did she do something? She didn't mean to hurt them, or trigger them, or do anything bad, she just- fuck, he shouldn't have said that, they were clearly not doing well earlier, he should've been reassuring, that wasn't a time for honesty-

No. Now's not the time to be self-depricating.

He steels his voice for them.

"Follow my breaths, please, c'mon."

[the-miserable-fool]

Hands. Hands on them hands everywhere. They want more.

“GET OFF!” They scream, shoving at Kiran with all their might.

This, however, causes them to stumble back. Their breaths come out in ragged wheezes, their chest heaving with the effort to catch more air.

“You’re like them. YOU’RE LIKE THEM. GET THE FUCK OFF ME. DON’T TOUCH ME. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME.”

They wanted more they wanted more. This was their body now theirs. They did what they wanted. What they wanted.

Their hands find their hair and tug ruthlessly on it, blurry vision tunneling onto Kiran.

“I don’t want you I don’t want you I don’t want you you can’t make me. GO AWAY.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The shove does little to push her back, but she steps back to give them some distance. Her wide, concerned and confused eyes flick over them, desperately trying to find some way to help. There's nothing he can do.

You can't fight this like every other issue. You can't brute force your way through it.

Fuck.

"Rocío, listen to me, please, I'm not- I'm not trying to d- do anything. Please, just- calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you."

Her voice shakes as she attempts to calm them down, trying to talk to them while trying not to freak out himself.

[the-miserable-fool]

“Shut up. SHUT UP.” They yell, voice breaking at the last syllable.

A choked sob forces its way out of their throat, and they sniffle loudly.

You’re making a fool out of yourself.

They’re always watching the cameras.

It’s exactly like before.

They turn and bolt in the other direction, legs nearly giving out with how fast they stumbled away.

You’re free. This is a prison. Your body is yours. They’re using you for entertainment. You’re loved. They always want more.

Their brain was at war with itself, a pendulum swinging back and forth. The opposing side was winning, the sways growing weaker and weaker.

They didn’t care where they went, as long as it was quiet.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's heart drops as they sprint away from him and his instinct tells him to run after them, to find them again and fix what was happening, but instead he freezes. This couldn't be fixed by soothing words or reassurance. He doesn't know what to do.

"Shit."

He rubs his cheek hard.

"Shit, shit, shit- fuck!"

She punches the wall next to her with a yell, listening helplessly as they run away. Her knuckles sting.

What does she do?

[the-miserable-fool]

TW: vomiting

Rocío Jester(?) found their way into the bathrooms, fumbling for one of the stall doors and collapsing onto their knees. Their stomach convulsed once, twice, before they throw up into the toilet bowl.

Jester(?!) Rocío curls up after vomiting for a good few moments, burying their head into their knees and finally letting out a ragged sob.

“Gross… s’gross…” they whine pathetically, hearing their own mournful voice echo across the bathroom’s walls.

“Feels so nasty… ‘M so nasty…”

No. No, they didn’t choose it. Wasn’t their fault.

Did they like it? No. No. No. Didn’t. Did not. yes.

Hands everywhere. They were impure. Disgusting.

They cry like that for a good long while, even ending up lying on the bathroom floor, curled into a tight ball.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran stands like that for a while, panting and shaking, until he pulls himself together enough to walk around. He first goes to the bar, grabbing a glass of water in case Rocío would need it when she finds them. Crying did dehydrate people, after all.

She tries to think about this as calmly as possible, trying not to think about the fear and panic in their eyes when they looked at her. The fear wasn't because of her... right?

Eventually, when she walks by the bathrooms, she hears sniffles and her senses are immediately on high alert. He holds back the urge to just smash the door down, and instead tentatively knocks with a trembling hand.

"... Rocío? You in there?..."

She hesitantly calls out.

[the-miserable-fool]

They freeze, snapping up with enough force to bang their head against the wall. Ow.

You fucked it up you fucked it all up it’s over it’s over it’s over.

“… yeah.” They croak out softly, pulling their hat over their face a little more.

They open the stall door, head turned away from him.

Weak pathetic weak pathetic you’re a liability you’re weak.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh, thank Gods they open the door, Kiran actually deflates in relief. His eyes instinctively look over them for any injuries, but they just seem tired and the room smells like vomit, so she can assume what happened.

"Uh, here."

She hands them the glass of water.

"To, uh, wash out the taste of puke."

[the-miserable-fool]

They take it without a word, sipping it slowly to ease the cold weight in their stomach.

“… ‘M sorry,” they mumble out, still hiding behind their bangs and hat.

“Didn’t wanna hurt you.” They glance up and look over for injuries. She seemed fine. Physically anyway.

“… please don’t hate me.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran eyebrows furrow and she tilts her head in genuine confusion.

"Why're you sorry? I don't hate you, you didn't do anything wrong, and, respectfully, that push didn't really do anything."

If anything, his own dumbass self punching the wall gave him more of an injury.

"I should be apologising. I didn't mean to trigger you, or upset you by what I said in any way and I'm... Really sorry that I did."

He rubs the back of his neck in shame, eyes downcast.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I freaked out on you. Lost control. Again. It’s… it’s hard trying to understand which one’s me. Am I doing this for me or doing it for you?”

They rub at one of their arms, where their old scars lay. The bumps on their skin soothed them sometimes.

“I hate not being in control. Reminds me too much of that hellhole.”

Funny how loose your tongue felt when you were a hair’s width from drinking yourself to an early grave.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh.

Oh shit.

She grimaces uncomfortably, unsure of what to say.

"O-oh, that-... That's not-... That's bad."

'That's bad', such eloquent and well put together words, Kiran.

But a few words of their's stand out to him.

"W- wait, what do you mean 'which one's me'?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They tense up, gritting their teeth.

Rocío? Jester? Fool? So many different names. All for public appearances. But when the stage was empty and the crowd was gone, who was there to act for? Who were they when there was no one around?

Whenever they thought about it, they would feel a massive void open in their stomach. Emptiness swallowing them whole.

“… it’s… whatever. I’m fine.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran watches their body and facial language, lips pursed in a concerned frown, but he decides that now is not the time to push.

She had already put together the pieces of what happened in that circus. Their reluctance for touch, the need for control... He knows what happened there. What must've happened so many times.

It fills him with a boiling, burning rage that spreads from his gut to his throat, and the need to search for those people who did it to Rocío and beat them to a pulp, to rip those bastards apart limb from limb and-

He notices the way his nails start to break the skin of his palm and forces himself to breathe deeply, and relax his hands.

"... Sure."

He sighs, before offering gently,

"You can, uhm. Come up to my room and just, chill there? N- not for anything, obviously, just so you can... Have some place quiet to relax."

[the-miserable-fool]

“I…”

They didn’t fuck it up? Why would she stay why would he come back why why why?

They take another gulp of water and try to joke, but it came out half-assed and soft.

“How forward of you,” they mumble, taking a step out of the stall and smoothing out their clothes. They avoided the mirrors in front of them, knowing they’d look like a stupid mess. This costume was awful.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran gives a small smile to humour them.

"C'mon, let's get you somewhere quiet to rest up."

She waits for them to be ready before starting to walk. Even though they seem better now, he can't help but keep checking behind him to make sure they were following and doing okay.

When she reaches the door, she shows the guard her chips, and the guard opens the door for her, keeping it open for them before letting it shut.

Soft jazz music played from some speakers in the room, and he is tempted for a moment to try and find some way to turn it off, but a small part of him tells him that they wouldn't appreciate complete silence.

"You can stay in here as long as you like."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Thanks, Kiran.” They mutter, raspy voice unusually soft and gentle. As if they were afraid to scare themself.

Is this real? Real?

They brush their shaky hands against the walls and recoil at the texture. Scared of a wall, look at you.

Scared of it being real. Real means hurt. Your mask is gone the theatre is empty.

The slow jazz seems to calm them down a little, posture smoothing out, before they looked like a bristled cat.

At somepoint they find a dark corner and… lurk there. Standing. It was awful, they didn’t know where to put their limbs, what to say. They always knew what to say.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran finds a couch to sit on, and she looks over at them with furrowed brows.

"Do you... not wanna sit down? Or lay down and take a nap, or something?" He tentatively offers.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I can… I can do that,” they mumble shortly, walking towards Kiran and sitting beside her. On the other edge of the sofa. They didn’t know how well they’d deal with physical contact right now.

Kiran is good. She’d never do that she’s kind and she’s loving. He doesn’t love me but it’s okay. I don’t mind.

They scoot a little closer, hugging their knees.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran doesn't try to pull them any closer or give any physical reassurance. That wouldn't go well, he could guess that at least.

"Do you... wanna talk about it? Or I can leave as well and just give you some space to think through your stuff."

She keeps her voice low and calm, like she was talking to a scared cat.

[the-miserable-fool]

Talking about it. They needed to do it. It was good, yes? They’ve lived with it for so long…

“I can talk about it. It’s fine, I’ll be… fine.”

They take a deep breath, then release it slowly.

“I was… owned by the circus. When me and my brother were kids, they took us in when we had nowhere else to go. It was one of Mateo’s biggest regrets.”

They lean back, squinting, as if they were trying to search for the memories.

“It was fine, at first. Couldn’t do much but train us and teach us things. Other than reading or writing, they didn’t want us too independent.

“The shows made us a lot of money, many people loved to see the two of us doing tricks and playing. But the customers always wanted more. I was… the more appealing out of the bunch of us.

“Shows became privater and privater, until it was one on one tricks. It changed when I turned 17. Wesley taught me… everything… I know now.”

They cringe, swallowing hard.

“They started to sell me around to different buyers, whoever would pay the most to have a night with me. I’d fuck them, maybe steal some stuff, and report back to him.”

They sniffle, wiping tears from their eyes fiercely.

“They could do whatever they wanted to me. As long as I wasn’t killed.”

A loud sob leaves them, and their bury their face in their knees.

“I didn’t want it- I didn’t- it’s all I know… it hurts so bad…”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran listens with wide eyes, and his hands start shaking.

All he can feel is sadness, sympathy... and the most blinding, intense rage he's ever felt. It claws at his chest, screaming to be free and expressed. It burns through his stomach like wildfire and makes his entire body tense up like he's ready for a fight. And she is. But there is no one to fight.

Those people aren't there. She can't leave Bet and Forgive and go find them. She can give Rocío the justice they're owed, all she can do is comfort them and try to help them heal.

Gods, it scalds him from the inside and makes him sick.

"F- fuck, that's- that's fucking horrible, I'm- I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

He rasps out.

"You-..."

He takes a deep breath, quelling his fury.

"You are so strong for surviving that. I mean it. I... I'm so, so proud of you for being able to... come out of that sort of thing alive and still wanting to live."

[the-miserable-fool]

“I shouldn’t want to,” they cough out, rubbing their nose, “I’ve done… awful things.”

Mateo’s eyes flashed in their mind and they clenched a fist and rammed it into their head. After shaking it clean of all those messy thoughts, they reply again.

“Thanks. Wish I had more time to live… now that I’m stuck here.”

They scoot closer, trying to regulate their breathing. They could sit next to Kiran, they were fine.

[the-miserable-fool]

*teleports you and Kiran to a safe apartment where you can live together and you're pardoned because magic and your criminal records are clean and everything because. Magic.*

(I feel bad for putting Kiran in the torture chamber)

Be free my children 🥹

“… Is this allowed? What?”

They’re wearing normal clothes. In a normal home. With a so called normal life.

This was wrong their skin was itchy.

“I guess we’re not being subjected to torture anymore. Damn it.” They joke awkwardly, looking for Kiran before they started freaking the fuck out.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran lets out a quiet sigh of relief when they fall asleep, slumping into the mattress.

"Thank gods, they're asleep..."

He thinks a little before dipping his head to place a kiss in their hair, lingering for a moment before pulling away. Another sigh leaves her and her eyes shut.

Soon, she falls asleep, with them in her arms, and no dreams of pain.

[the-miserable-fool]

The morning comes, and nearly passes before Rocío comes to. They blink open their eyes, feeling emptiness in their arms first thing.

Their eyes dart around the room in fear, Kiran left them. He got tired of them and left. Left them alone. Life was not worth it.

Then they heard clattering in the kitchen, and their energy returned. Everything was fine.

They get up and try to run a hand through their hair, but freeze when their bangs fall into their face. They push them out of their eyes. And glance into a nearby mirror.

Jesus Christ their hair was fluffy. Eugh.

They try to smoothen it out as they make their way to the kitchen, scratching at an itch on their back.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran hums happily to some music playing from his phone, cracking eggs into a bowl and mixing them while his foot taps on the kitchen tiles.

When she hears footsteps, she immediately turns to face the source of the sound and she grins when she finds Rocío.

"Morning!~ How'd you sleep?"

This is the most energetic she's been in a while, and she looks actually awake and her hair... It's out of its twists. Her afro is on full show, round and fluffy with her ebony and crimson hair shown off in the form of her coils.

[the-miserable-fool]

“… You’re happy.” They remark, rubbing one of their eyes. They couldn’t understand how anyone could be this happy in the morning. The sun was evil.

They approach from behind and lean on one of his shoulders, blinking slowly.

“It’s early,” they groan, burying their face into her shoulder.

“Your hair looks nice…” they mumble out, eyes fluttering shut. “What’re you making?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran giggles, smiling as he gently pulls them closer.

"You can't blame me for being a little excited about all of this. And thanks, I took my hair down this morning. Took like an hour."

She snorts.

"I was just making some scrambled eggs to go with toast, that sound cool?"

And then he points a finger at their face playfully.

"And I'm cutting up an apple for you. No arguments, you need your fruits and veggies."

...

"Also, the fuck you mean it's early? It's 11am, Rocío."

[the-miserable-fool]

They raise their head from her shoulder and glance at the clock on the oven.

“… you heard me.” They yawn loudly, stretching their arms and hearing their bones pop.

“Shit. Ow,” they rub at their back, grimacing. They glare playfully at the fruits and veggies mention and roll their eyes. For no reason, other than the fact that they wanted to piss him off.

“I’m not a child, don’t patronize me. I’ll eat what I want,” they say, opening the fridge and scooping a handful of chocolate chips from the snack drawer and knocking it back into their mouth.

It was, honestly, a childish thing to do. They wouldn’t admit it, though.

[vengeful-vigilante]

The way they yawn briefly reminds him of a sleepy cat, and he smiles at the thought. A snort leaves her as they knock back a few chocolate chips.

"Grown ass, 22 year old person. Fine, we'll split the apple, but you're getting some anyway."

He grimaces at the horrendous sounds leaving their body as they stretch.

"The fuck? You sound like a glow stick when you break the glass in them."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Eugh. I know, something’s up with my bones or something. Makes ‘em hurt sometimes.”

They blink sleepily, turning to face her, tilting their head.

“Glow sticks have glass in them? Hah, didn’t know that.”

Rocío walks back to him like an old dog, cementing itself in its place, right by his side.

[vengeful-vigilante]

"Yeah, it's a little vial of chemicals. It has hydrogen peroxide in it, while the outside has phenyl oxalate ester-"

Kiran stops herself before she goes rambling.

"Eh, nevermind."

He hums in thought at their statement, cutting up the apple and taking the time and care to carve out the seeds and core.

"You could be hyper mobile, that can sometimes bring joint aches. You're, like, super flexible, right?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They blink slowly, leaning over her shoulder, watching her cut the apples.

“… yeah, super flexible.” They wink.

“What’s hyper mobile?” They ask, trying to stretch some more, moving their joints in… odd ways that looked more like their skeleton was trying to escape their body rather than stretching.

They frown a little. They wanted to hear more about the glow stick thing…

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran looks at the way their joints move and clicks her tongue before pointing at their elbow.

"That."

He huffs.

"Okay, actually, let me properly explain. It's basically when your joints have an unusually large range of motion. It's cool for, like, gymnast and contortionist shit, but it can also lead to frequent dislocations, joint pain, and extreme fatigue. It's a chronic condition that's usually passed by genetics."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Huh. So that’s why I’m tired all the time.” They hum thoughtfully, tapping a finger against their chin.

“… thanks for telling me, I’m not good with words.”

They lean against the counter and gesture to her with a nod.

“How about you, any weird stuff you can do?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

"Don't take it as a diagnosis, I'm not a doctor."

Kiran chuckles.

"Nah, my body's pretty normal. Kinda boring compared to what yours can do-"

She glares at them light-heartedly.

"Don't make that sentence weird."

She starts plating up the eggs and toast onto separate dishes, putting the apple slices into a bowl for them to share.

[the-miserable-fool]

They cackle sharply, voice breaking from disuse.

“You know me so well, amorcito.” They giggle, tilting their head at him.

Plucking an apple slice from their plate, they pop it into their mouth and crunch, feeling juice explode in their mouth.

It was delicious. Being free from Bet and Forgive as well as prison is really going to expand their taste palette.

“Damn. I have to admit, this is kind of good.”

They pause, letting them both eat for a bit.

“So, what are we?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The question makes Kiran stop and nearly choke on her eggs. He coughs into his fist, eyes wide and cheeks red.

"Ah- wh- huh?"

She stares at them in shock.

"Wh- what do you mean?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They stare at him expectantly for a long time, before bursting into a fit of giggles.

“HAH! You should’ve seen your face! God, so serious! Lighten up, amorcito, we’re free.”

They nudge her with yet another apple in their mouth, humming contently while chewing it.

“I think this is my new favorite food.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran coughs again, giving a shaky smile.

"Gods, right, okay..."

She laughs awkwardly into her hand.

"Well, good to know you like the, uhm, apple."

They both finish their food after a while and after she puts their dishes in the dishwasher, she turns to them.

"So, where did you wanna go out today?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They perk up and tilt their head, following her to the kitchen. They were doing that a lot.

“I don’t care.” Rocío wasn’t great at plans at all. They hardly followed them either. Their idea of a plan was mostly ‘something something something, we win.’

“We can go to the gym, you wanted to go there,” they offer, dipping their head at him with a wide grin to match his height more.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran hums in thought.

"Sure. Then maybe we could grab lunch somewhere... I should search up if there are any cool places to go in Modos."

He leans his back against the counter and pulls out his phone, searching up places to go.

"A few parks, some stores... oh! There's a museum, maybe there?"

[the-miserable-fool]

The sound of an old museum makes their skin itch with energy. If Kiran liked it they would go, he made everything fun.

“Whatever you want, amorcito, the museum sounds lovely.”

They grin wider, bones aching again, and lean against the counter, trying to relieve the pressure on their hips.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran grins excitedly at the idea, looking at photos of the place.

"Fuck yeah, they seem to have all sorts of cool dinosaur bones in there and shit, and-"

He notices the barely hidden grimace on their face, and stops in the middle of his ramble.

"You good? You look like you're in pain."

[the-miserable-fool]

They smile at her excitement, tilting their head at her.

“Me? My body hurts sometimes, if I stand for too long or something. Randomly I get random flares in my spine and muscles and that shit hurts like hell. Otherwise I’m fine.”

They shrug, adjusting their position.

[vengeful-vigilante]

“… who the fuck put you in the blender.”

— @the-miserable-fool

Kiran sighs, leaning his back against the table.

"They're an anon, we don't know their actual identity. It's unfortunate, but I have no clue. I think it was the anon who came into your inbox boasting about how they were gonna get revenge on me and you, or something."

She rubs her arm where a blade wound used to be.

"They did suddenly feel bad and fix me up though, which was... Weird."

[the-miserable-fool]

“… I’ll fuck them up. Kiran, I’m not joking. I’ll beat the shit out of them I don’t care what staff says or what they’ll do to me this is pissing me off.”

Their fists are clenched at their sides and their eyes strangely empty. Jester’s voice was unusually hollow and emotionless.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen at their sudden anger, not expecting it from their usually lighthearted demeanor.

"H- hey, Rocío, it's fine, really. I'm not even hurt, it's not a big deal."

She reaches out to place a calming hand on their shoulder.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. These fuckers think they can push me around like I’m some… thing they can stare and gawk at.”

Their breathing is eerily calm, but their eyes were fixed on something in the distance.

“They think I’m weak, Kiran. I can feel them waiting for me to keel over. It’s the other way around, isn’t it? They’re here for me. I’m keeping them around for fun. I’m in control.”

They meet his eyes.

“… right?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's expression falters, and his eyebrows twitch slightly as he thinks. After a few moments, he sighs and shifts closer to them.

"We're not in control here, Rocío. No one here is."

She sighs.

"And I know that sucks, it's fucking me up too-"

He snarls, but quickly reels himself back in.

"But... But there's no point in agonizing over it. Right now, as much as it annoys me... we just have to take it."

It feels so wrong to say that. Normally he'd find every opportunity to fight back and give the middle finger to any oppression, but... she doesn't know what to do here. She doesn't know how to deal with people who have nothing to lose.

[the-miserable-fool]

(TW: HEAVILY IMPLIED S/A PLEASE ONLY READ THE BOLD IF THE TOPIC MAKES YOU UNCOMFY.)

We’re not in control.

Like before.

They suddenly felt the ghostly imprints of hands everywhere, all over, everywhere.

Wanting, taking, groping, touching. Touching, touching, touching.

Wanting more and more. Nothing would satiate.

They would stare and gawk and watch and laugh and want.

Dance for them. Make them laugh. You are a puppet.

Rocío suddenly couldn’t breathe, icy hands had wrapped around their throat and squeezed it shut. Suffocating.

Can’t kill me, can’t kill me, not allowed, it’s on contract-

They jerked away from Kiran, eyes open but staring at nothing, locked far away from the present.

If they didn’t want it they would make them.

Can’t close your legs if they’ll just pry them open.

They gasp loudly, one hand clawing at their neck while the other clenches into a fist and slams repeatedly into their head.

Stop. Stop.

The pain brought them back, made them calm. They needed it. Needed it before-

A cold weight appeared in their stomach. They gagged.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen and she quickly steps in front of them, wanting to be in their eyeline.

"Fuck- hey, hey, Rocío."

When they start hitting their own head, he curses under his breath and pulls their hands away from themself. He holds them in a gentle, loose grip in case they want to pull away.

"Don't- don't do that, you'll hurt yourself. Please, look at me, c'mon."

She lowers her voice, keeping eye contact and speaking slowly.

"Focus on me, hon, please."

Shit, did she do something? She didn't mean to hurt them, or trigger them, or do anything bad, she just- fuck, he shouldn't have said that, they were clearly not doing well earlier, he should've been reassuring, that wasn't a time for honesty-

No. Now's not the time to be self-depricating.

He steels his voice for them.

"Follow my breaths, please, c'mon."

[the-miserable-fool]

Hands. Hands on them hands everywhere. They want more.

“GET OFF!” They scream, shoving at Kiran with all their might.

This, however, causes them to stumble back. Their breaths come out in ragged wheezes, their chest heaving with the effort to catch more air.

“You’re like them. YOU’RE LIKE THEM. GET THE FUCK OFF ME. DON’T TOUCH ME. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME.”

They wanted more they wanted more. This was their body now theirs. They did what they wanted. What they wanted.

Their hands find their hair and tug ruthlessly on it, blurry vision tunneling onto Kiran.

“I don’t want you I don’t want you I don’t want you you can’t make me. GO AWAY.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The shove does little to push her back, but she steps back to give them some distance. Her wide, concerned and confused eyes flick over them, desperately trying to find some way to help. There's nothing he can do.

You can't fight this like every other issue. You can't brute force your way through it.

Fuck.

"Rocío, listen to me, please, I'm not- I'm not trying to d- do anything. Please, just- calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you."

Her voice shakes as she attempts to calm them down, trying to talk to them while trying not to freak out himself.

[the-miserable-fool]

“Shut up. SHUT UP.” They yell, voice breaking at the last syllable.

A choked sob forces its way out of their throat, and they sniffle loudly.

You’re making a fool out of yourself.

They’re always watching the cameras.

It’s exactly like before.

They turn and bolt in the other direction, legs nearly giving out with how fast they stumbled away.

You’re free. This is a prison. Your body is yours. They’re using you for entertainment. You’re loved. They always want more.

Their brain was at war with itself, a pendulum swinging back and forth. The opposing side was winning, the sways growing weaker and weaker.

They didn’t care where they went, as long as it was quiet.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's heart drops as they sprint away from him and his instinct tells him to run after them, to find them again and fix what was happening, but instead he freezes. This couldn't be fixed by soothing words or reassurance. He doesn't know what to do.

"Shit."

He rubs his cheek hard.

"Shit, shit, shit- fuck!"

She punches the wall next to her with a yell, listening helplessly as they run away. Her knuckles sting.

What does she do?

[the-miserable-fool]

TW: vomiting

Rocío Jester(?) found their way into the bathrooms, fumbling for one of the stall doors and collapsing onto their knees. Their stomach convulsed once, twice, before they throw up into the toilet bowl.

Jester(?!) Rocío curls up after vomiting for a good few moments, burying their head into their knees and finally letting out a ragged sob.

“Gross… s’gross…” they whine pathetically, hearing their own mournful voice echo across the bathroom’s walls.

“Feels so nasty… ‘M so nasty…”

No. No, they didn’t choose it. Wasn’t their fault.

Did they like it? No. No. No. Didn’t. Did not. yes.

Hands everywhere. They were impure. Disgusting.

They cry like that for a good long while, even ending up lying on the bathroom floor, curled into a tight ball.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran stands like that for a while, panting and shaking, until he pulls himself together enough to walk around. He first goes to the bar, grabbing a glass of water in case Rocío would need it when she finds them. Crying did dehydrate people, after all.

She tries to think about this as calmly as possible, trying not to think about the fear and panic in their eyes when they looked at her. The fear wasn't because of her... right?

Eventually, when she walks by the bathrooms, she hears sniffles and her senses are immediately on high alert. He holds back the urge to just smash the door down, and instead tentatively knocks with a trembling hand.

"... Rocío? You in there?..."

She hesitantly calls out.

[the-miserable-fool]

They freeze, snapping up with enough force to bang their head against the wall. Ow.

You fucked it up you fucked it all up it’s over it’s over it’s over.

“… yeah.” They croak out softly, pulling their hat over their face a little more.

They open the stall door, head turned away from him.

Weak pathetic weak pathetic you’re a liability you’re weak.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh, thank Gods they open the door, Kiran actually deflates in relief. His eyes instinctively look over them for any injuries, but they just seem tired and the room smells like vomit, so she can assume what happened.

"Uh, here."

She hands them the glass of water.

"To, uh, wash out the taste of puke."

[the-miserable-fool]

They take it without a word, sipping it slowly to ease the cold weight in their stomach.

“… ‘M sorry,” they mumble out, still hiding behind their bangs and hat.

“Didn’t wanna hurt you.” They glance up and look over for injuries. She seemed fine. Physically anyway.

“… please don’t hate me.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran eyebrows furrow and she tilts her head in genuine confusion.

"Why're you sorry? I don't hate you, you didn't do anything wrong, and, respectfully, that push didn't really do anything."

If anything, his own dumbass self punching the wall gave him more of an injury.

"I should be apologising. I didn't mean to trigger you, or upset you by what I said in any way and I'm... Really sorry that I did."

He rubs the back of his neck in shame, eyes downcast.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I freaked out on you. Lost control. Again. It’s… it’s hard trying to understand which one’s me. Am I doing this for me or doing it for you?”

They rub at one of their arms, where their old scars lay. The bumps on their skin soothed them sometimes.

“I hate not being in control. Reminds me too much of that hellhole.”

Funny how loose your tongue felt when you were a hair’s width from drinking yourself to an early grave.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh.

Oh shit.

She grimaces uncomfortably, unsure of what to say.

"O-oh, that-... That's not-... That's bad."

'That's bad', such eloquent and well put together words, Kiran.

But a few words of their's stand out to him.

"W- wait, what do you mean 'which one's me'?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They tense up, gritting their teeth.

Rocío? Jester? Fool? So many different names. All for public appearances. But when the stage was empty and the crowd was gone, who was there to act for? Who were they when there was no one around?

Whenever they thought about it, they would feel a massive void open in their stomach. Emptiness swallowing them whole.

“… it’s… whatever. I’m fine.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran watches their body and facial language, lips pursed in a concerned frown, but he decides that now is not the time to push.

She had already put together the pieces of what happened in that circus. Their reluctance for touch, the need for control... He knows what happened there. What must've happened so many times.

It fills him with a boiling, burning rage that spreads from his gut to his throat, and the need to search for those people who did it to Rocío and beat them to a pulp, to rip those bastards apart limb from limb and-

He notices the way his nails start to break the skin of his palm and forces himself to breathe deeply, and relax his hands.

"... Sure."

He sighs, before offering gently,

"You can, uhm. Come up to my room and just, chill there? N- not for anything, obviously, just so you can... Have some place quiet to relax."

[the-miserable-fool]

“I…”

They didn’t fuck it up? Why would she stay why would he come back why why why?

They take another gulp of water and try to joke, but it came out half-assed and soft.

“How forward of you,” they mumble, taking a step out of the stall and smoothing out their clothes. They avoided the mirrors in front of them, knowing they’d look like a stupid mess. This costume was awful.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran gives a small smile to humour them.

"C'mon, let's get you somewhere quiet to rest up."

She waits for them to be ready before starting to walk. Even though they seem better now, he can't help but keep checking behind him to make sure they were following and doing okay.

When she reaches the door, she shows the guard her chips, and the guard opens the door for her, keeping it open for them before letting it shut.

Soft jazz music played from some speakers in the room, and he is tempted for a moment to try and find some way to turn it off, but a small part of him tells him that they wouldn't appreciate complete silence.

"You can stay in here as long as you like."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Thanks, Kiran.” They mutter, raspy voice unusually soft and gentle. As if they were afraid to scare themself.

Is this real? Real?

They brush their shaky hands against the walls and recoil at the texture. Scared of a wall, look at you.

Scared of it being real. Real means hurt. Your mask is gone the theatre is empty.

The slow jazz seems to calm them down a little, posture smoothing out, before they looked like a bristled cat.

At somepoint they find a dark corner and… lurk there. Standing. It was awful, they didn’t know where to put their limbs, what to say. They always knew what to say.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran finds a couch to sit on, and she looks over at them with furrowed brows.

"Do you... not wanna sit down? Or lay down and take a nap, or something?" He tentatively offers.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I can… I can do that,” they mumble shortly, walking towards Kiran and sitting beside her. On the other edge of the sofa. They didn’t know how well they’d deal with physical contact right now.

Kiran is good. She’d never do that she’s kind and she’s loving. He doesn’t love me but it’s okay. I don’t mind.

They scoot a little closer, hugging their knees.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran doesn't try to pull them any closer or give any physical reassurance. That wouldn't go well, he could guess that at least.

"Do you... wanna talk about it? Or I can leave as well and just give you some space to think through your stuff."

She keeps her voice low and calm, like she was talking to a scared cat.

[the-miserable-fool]

Talking about it. They needed to do it. It was good, yes? They’ve lived with it for so long…

“I can talk about it. It’s fine, I’ll be… fine.”

They take a deep breath, then release it slowly.

“I was… owned by the circus. When me and my brother were kids, they took us in when we had nowhere else to go. It was one of Mateo’s biggest regrets.”

They lean back, squinting, as if they were trying to search for the memories.

“It was fine, at first. Couldn’t do much but train us and teach us things. Other than reading or writing, they didn’t want us too independent.

“The shows made us a lot of money, many people loved to see the two of us doing tricks and playing. But the customers always wanted more. I was… the more appealing out of the bunch of us.

“Shows became privater and privater, until it was one on one tricks. It changed when I turned 17. Wesley taught me… everything… I know now.”

They cringe, swallowing hard.

“They started to sell me around to different buyers, whoever would pay the most to have a night with me. I’d fuck them, maybe steal some stuff, and report back to him.”

They sniffle, wiping tears from their eyes fiercely.

“They could do whatever they wanted to me. As long as I wasn’t killed.”

A loud sob leaves them, and their bury their face in their knees.

“I didn’t want it- I didn’t- it’s all I know… it hurts so bad…”

[the-miserable-fool]

*teleports you and Kiran to a safe apartment where you can live together and you're pardoned because magic and your criminal records are clean and everything because. Magic.*

(I feel bad for putting Kiran in the torture chamber)

Be free my children 🥹

“… Is this allowed? What?”

They’re wearing normal clothes. In a normal home. With a so called normal life.

This was wrong their skin was itchy.

“I guess we’re not being subjected to torture anymore. Damn it.” They joke awkwardly, looking for Kiran before they started freaking the fuck out.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran lets out a quiet sigh of relief when they fall asleep, slumping into the mattress.

"Thank gods, they're asleep..."

He thinks a little before dipping his head to place a kiss in their hair, lingering for a moment before pulling away. Another sigh leaves her and her eyes shut.

Soon, she falls asleep, with them in her arms, and no dreams of pain.

[the-miserable-fool]

The morning comes, and nearly passes before Rocío comes to. They blink open their eyes, feeling emptiness in their arms first thing.

Their eyes dart around the room in fear, Kiran left them. He got tired of them and left. Left them alone. Life was not worth it.

Then they heard clattering in the kitchen, and their energy returned. Everything was fine.

They get up and try to run a hand through their hair, but freeze when their bangs fall into their face. They push them out of their eyes. And glance into a nearby mirror.

Jesus Christ their hair was fluffy. Eugh.

They try to smoothen it out as they make their way to the kitchen, scratching at an itch on their back.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran hums happily to some music playing from his phone, cracking eggs into a bowl and mixing them while his foot taps on the kitchen tiles.

When she hears footsteps, she immediately turns to face the source of the sound and she grins when she finds Rocío.

"Morning!~ How'd you sleep?"

This is the most energetic she's been in a while, and she looks actually awake and her hair... It's out of its twists. Her afro is on full show, round and fluffy with her ebony and crimson hair shown off in the form of her coils.

[the-miserable-fool]

“… You’re happy.” They remark, rubbing one of their eyes. They couldn’t understand how anyone could be this happy in the morning. The sun was evil.

They approach from behind and lean on one of his shoulders, blinking slowly.

“It’s early,” they groan, burying their face into her shoulder.

“Your hair looks nice…” they mumble out, eyes fluttering shut. “What’re you making?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran giggles, smiling as he gently pulls them closer.

"You can't blame me for being a little excited about all of this. And thanks, I took my hair down this morning. Took like an hour."

She snorts.

"I was just making some scrambled eggs to go with toast, that sound cool?"

And then he points a finger at their face playfully.

"And I'm cutting up an apple for you. No arguments, you need your fruits and veggies."

...

"Also, the fuck you mean it's early? It's 11am, Rocío."

[the-miserable-fool]

They raise their head from her shoulder and glance at the clock on the oven.

“… you heard me.” They yawn loudly, stretching their arms and hearing their bones pop.

“Shit. Ow,” they rub at their back, grimacing. They glare playfully at the fruits and veggies mention and roll their eyes. For no reason, other than the fact that they wanted to piss him off.

“I’m not a child, don’t patronize me. I’ll eat what I want,” they say, opening the fridge and scooping a handful of chocolate chips from the snack drawer and knocking it back into their mouth.

It was, honestly, a childish thing to do. They wouldn’t admit it, though.

[vengeful-vigilante]

The way they yawn briefly reminds him of a sleepy cat, and he smiles at the thought. A snort leaves her as they knock back a few chocolate chips.

"Grown ass, 22 year old person. Fine, we'll split the apple, but you're getting some anyway."

He grimaces at the horrendous sounds leaving their body as they stretch.

"The fuck? You sound like a glow stick when you break the glass in them."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Eugh. I know, something’s up with my bones or something. Makes ‘em hurt sometimes.”

They blink sleepily, turning to face her, tilting their head.

“Glow sticks have glass in them? Hah, didn’t know that.”

Rocío walks back to him like an old dog, cementing itself in its place, right by his side.

[vengeful-vigilante]

"Yeah, it's a little vial of chemicals. It has hydrogen peroxide in it, while the outside has phenyl oxalate ester-"

Kiran stops herself before she goes rambling.

"Eh, nevermind."

He hums in thought at their statement, cutting up the apple and taking the time and care to carve out the seeds and core.

"You could be hyper mobile, that can sometimes bring joint aches. You're, like, super flexible, right?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They blink slowly, leaning over her shoulder, watching her cut the apples.

“… yeah, super flexible.” They wink.

“What’s hyper mobile?” They ask, trying to stretch some more, moving their joints in… odd ways that looked more like their skeleton was trying to escape their body rather than stretching.

They frown a little. They wanted to hear more about the glow stick thing…

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran looks at the way their joints move and clicks her tongue before pointing at their elbow.

"That."

He huffs.

"Okay, actually, let me properly explain. It's basically when your joints have an unusually large range of motion. It's cool for, like, gymnast and contortionist shit, but it can also lead to frequent dislocations, joint pain, and extreme fatigue. It's a chronic condition that's usually passed by genetics."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Huh. So that’s why I’m tired all the time.” They hum thoughtfully, tapping a finger against their chin.

“… thanks for telling me, I’m not good with words.”

They lean against the counter and gesture to her with a nod.

“How about you, any weird stuff you can do?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

"Don't take it as a diagnosis, I'm not a doctor."

Kiran chuckles.

"Nah, my body's pretty normal. Kinda boring compared to what yours can do-"

She glares at them light-heartedly.

"Don't make that sentence weird."

She starts plating up the eggs and toast onto separate dishes, putting the apple slices into a bowl for them to share.

[the-miserable-fool]

They cackle sharply, voice breaking from disuse.

“You know me so well, amorcito.” They giggle, tilting their head at him.

Plucking an apple slice from their plate, they pop it into their mouth and crunch, feeling juice explode in their mouth.

It was delicious. Being free from Bet and Forgive as well as prison is really going to expand their taste palette.

“Damn. I have to admit, this is kind of good.”

They pause, letting them both eat for a bit.

“So, what are we?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The question makes Kiran stop and nearly choke on her eggs. He coughs into his fist, eyes wide and cheeks red.

"Ah- wh- huh?"

She stares at them in shock.

"Wh- what do you mean?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They stare at him expectantly for a long time, before bursting into a fit of giggles.

“HAH! You should’ve seen your face! God, so serious! Lighten up, amorcito, we’re free.”

They nudge her with yet another apple in their mouth, humming contently while chewing it.

“I think this is my new favorite food.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran coughs again, giving a shaky smile.

"Gods, right, okay..."

She laughs awkwardly into her hand.

"Well, good to know you like the, uhm, apple."

They both finish their food after a while and after she puts their dishes in the dishwasher, she turns to them.

"So, where did you wanna go out today?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They perk up and tilt their head, following her to the kitchen. They were doing that a lot.

“I don’t care.” Rocío wasn’t great at plans at all. They hardly followed them either. Their idea of a plan was mostly ‘something something something, we win.’

“We can go to the gym, you wanted to go there,” they offer, dipping their head at him with a wide grin to match his height more.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran hums in thought.

"Sure. Then maybe we could grab lunch somewhere... I should search up if there are any cool places to go in Modos."

He leans his back against the counter and pulls out his phone, searching up places to go.

"A few parks, some stores... oh! There's a museum, maybe there?"

[the-miserable-fool]

The sound of an old museum makes their skin itch with energy. If Kiran liked it they would go, he made everything fun.

“Whatever you want, amorcito, the museum sounds lovely.”

They grin wider, bones aching again, and lean against the counter, trying to relieve the pressure on their hips.

[vengeful-vigilante]

“… who the fuck put you in the blender.”

— @the-miserable-fool

Kiran sighs, leaning his back against the table.

"They're an anon, we don't know their actual identity. It's unfortunate, but I have no clue. I think it was the anon who came into your inbox boasting about how they were gonna get revenge on me and you, or something."

She rubs her arm where a blade wound used to be.

"They did suddenly feel bad and fix me up though, which was... Weird."

[the-miserable-fool]

“… I’ll fuck them up. Kiran, I’m not joking. I’ll beat the shit out of them I don’t care what staff says or what they’ll do to me this is pissing me off.”

Their fists are clenched at their sides and their eyes strangely empty. Jester’s voice was unusually hollow and emotionless.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen at their sudden anger, not expecting it from their usually lighthearted demeanor.

"H- hey, Rocío, it's fine, really. I'm not even hurt, it's not a big deal."

She reaches out to place a calming hand on their shoulder.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. These fuckers think they can push me around like I’m some… thing they can stare and gawk at.”

Their breathing is eerily calm, but their eyes were fixed on something in the distance.

“They think I’m weak, Kiran. I can feel them waiting for me to keel over. It’s the other way around, isn’t it? They’re here for me. I’m keeping them around for fun. I’m in control.”

They meet his eyes.

“… right?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's expression falters, and his eyebrows twitch slightly as he thinks. After a few moments, he sighs and shifts closer to them.

"We're not in control here, Rocío. No one here is."

She sighs.

"And I know that sucks, it's fucking me up too-"

He snarls, but quickly reels himself back in.

"But... But there's no point in agonizing over it. Right now, as much as it annoys me... we just have to take it."

It feels so wrong to say that. Normally he'd find every opportunity to fight back and give the middle finger to any oppression, but... she doesn't know what to do here. She doesn't know how to deal with people who have nothing to lose.

[the-miserable-fool]

(TW: HEAVILY IMPLIED S/A PLEASE ONLY READ THE BOLD IF THE TOPIC MAKES YOU UNCOMFY.)

We’re not in control.

Like before.

They suddenly felt the ghostly imprints of hands everywhere, all over, everywhere.

Wanting, taking, groping, touching. Touching, touching, touching.

Wanting more and more. Nothing would satiate.

They would stare and gawk and watch and laugh and want.

Dance for them. Make them laugh. You are a puppet.

Rocío suddenly couldn’t breathe, icy hands had wrapped around their throat and squeezed it shut. Suffocating.

Can’t kill me, can’t kill me, not allowed, it’s on contract-

They jerked away from Kiran, eyes open but staring at nothing, locked far away from the present.

If they didn’t want it they would make them.

Can’t close your legs if they’ll just pry them open.

They gasp loudly, one hand clawing at their neck while the other clenches into a fist and slams repeatedly into their head.

Stop. Stop.

The pain brought them back, made them calm. They needed it. Needed it before-

A cold weight appeared in their stomach. They gagged.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen and she quickly steps in front of them, wanting to be in their eyeline.

"Fuck- hey, hey, Rocío."

When they start hitting their own head, he curses under his breath and pulls their hands away from themself. He holds them in a gentle, loose grip in case they want to pull away.

"Don't- don't do that, you'll hurt yourself. Please, look at me, c'mon."

She lowers her voice, keeping eye contact and speaking slowly.

"Focus on me, hon, please."

Shit, did she do something? She didn't mean to hurt them, or trigger them, or do anything bad, she just- fuck, he shouldn't have said that, they were clearly not doing well earlier, he should've been reassuring, that wasn't a time for honesty-

No. Now's not the time to be self-depricating.

He steels his voice for them.

"Follow my breaths, please, c'mon."

[the-miserable-fool]

Hands. Hands on them hands everywhere. They want more.

“GET OFF!” They scream, shoving at Kiran with all their might.

This, however, causes them to stumble back. Their breaths come out in ragged wheezes, their chest heaving with the effort to catch more air.

“You’re like them. YOU’RE LIKE THEM. GET THE FUCK OFF ME. DON’T TOUCH ME. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME.”

They wanted more they wanted more. This was their body now theirs. They did what they wanted. What they wanted.

Their hands find their hair and tug ruthlessly on it, blurry vision tunneling onto Kiran.

“I don’t want you I don’t want you I don’t want you you can’t make me. GO AWAY.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The shove does little to push her back, but she steps back to give them some distance. Her wide, concerned and confused eyes flick over them, desperately trying to find some way to help. There's nothing he can do.

You can't fight this like every other issue. You can't brute force your way through it.

Fuck.

"Rocío, listen to me, please, I'm not- I'm not trying to d- do anything. Please, just- calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you."

Her voice shakes as she attempts to calm them down, trying to talk to them while trying not to freak out himself.

[the-miserable-fool]

“Shut up. SHUT UP.” They yell, voice breaking at the last syllable.

A choked sob forces its way out of their throat, and they sniffle loudly.

You’re making a fool out of yourself.

They’re always watching the cameras.

It’s exactly like before.

They turn and bolt in the other direction, legs nearly giving out with how fast they stumbled away.

You’re free. This is a prison. Your body is yours. They’re using you for entertainment. You’re loved. They always want more.

Their brain was at war with itself, a pendulum swinging back and forth. The opposing side was winning, the sways growing weaker and weaker.

They didn’t care where they went, as long as it was quiet.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's heart drops as they sprint away from him and his instinct tells him to run after them, to find them again and fix what was happening, but instead he freezes. This couldn't be fixed by soothing words or reassurance. He doesn't know what to do.

"Shit."

He rubs his cheek hard.

"Shit, shit, shit- fuck!"

She punches the wall next to her with a yell, listening helplessly as they run away. Her knuckles sting.

What does she do?

[the-miserable-fool]

TW: vomiting

Rocío Jester(?) found their way into the bathrooms, fumbling for one of the stall doors and collapsing onto their knees. Their stomach convulsed once, twice, before they throw up into the toilet bowl.

Jester(?!) Rocío curls up after vomiting for a good few moments, burying their head into their knees and finally letting out a ragged sob.

“Gross… s’gross…” they whine pathetically, hearing their own mournful voice echo across the bathroom’s walls.

“Feels so nasty… ‘M so nasty…”

No. No, they didn’t choose it. Wasn’t their fault.

Did they like it? No. No. No. Didn’t. Did not. yes.

Hands everywhere. They were impure. Disgusting.

They cry like that for a good long while, even ending up lying on the bathroom floor, curled into a tight ball.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran stands like that for a while, panting and shaking, until he pulls himself together enough to walk around. He first goes to the bar, grabbing a glass of water in case Rocío would need it when she finds them. Crying did dehydrate people, after all.

She tries to think about this as calmly as possible, trying not to think about the fear and panic in their eyes when they looked at her. The fear wasn't because of her... right?

Eventually, when she walks by the bathrooms, she hears sniffles and her senses are immediately on high alert. He holds back the urge to just smash the door down, and instead tentatively knocks with a trembling hand.

"... Rocío? You in there?..."

She hesitantly calls out.

[the-miserable-fool]

They freeze, snapping up with enough force to bang their head against the wall. Ow.

You fucked it up you fucked it all up it’s over it’s over it’s over.

“… yeah.” They croak out softly, pulling their hat over their face a little more.

They open the stall door, head turned away from him.

Weak pathetic weak pathetic you’re a liability you’re weak.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh, thank Gods they open the door, Kiran actually deflates in relief. His eyes instinctively look over them for any injuries, but they just seem tired and the room smells like vomit, so she can assume what happened.

"Uh, here."

She hands them the glass of water.

"To, uh, wash out the taste of puke."

[the-miserable-fool]

They take it without a word, sipping it slowly to ease the cold weight in their stomach.

“… ‘M sorry,” they mumble out, still hiding behind their bangs and hat.

“Didn’t wanna hurt you.” They glance up and look over for injuries. She seemed fine. Physically anyway.

“… please don’t hate me.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran eyebrows furrow and she tilts her head in genuine confusion.

"Why're you sorry? I don't hate you, you didn't do anything wrong, and, respectfully, that push didn't really do anything."

If anything, his own dumbass self punching the wall gave him more of an injury.

"I should be apologising. I didn't mean to trigger you, or upset you by what I said in any way and I'm... Really sorry that I did."

He rubs the back of his neck in shame, eyes downcast.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I freaked out on you. Lost control. Again. It’s… it’s hard trying to understand which one’s me. Am I doing this for me or doing it for you?”

They rub at one of their arms, where their old scars lay. The bumps on their skin soothed them sometimes.

“I hate not being in control. Reminds me too much of that hellhole.”

Funny how loose your tongue felt when you were a hair’s width from drinking yourself to an early grave.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh.

Oh shit.

She grimaces uncomfortably, unsure of what to say.

"O-oh, that-... That's not-... That's bad."

'That's bad', such eloquent and well put together words, Kiran.

But a few words of their's stand out to him.

"W- wait, what do you mean 'which one's me'?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They tense up, gritting their teeth.

Rocío? Jester? Fool? So many different names. All for public appearances. But when the stage was empty and the crowd was gone, who was there to act for? Who were they when there was no one around?

Whenever they thought about it, they would feel a massive void open in their stomach. Emptiness swallowing them whole.

“… it’s… whatever. I’m fine.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran watches their body and facial language, lips pursed in a concerned frown, but he decides that now is not the time to push.

She had already put together the pieces of what happened in that circus. Their reluctance for touch, the need for control... He knows what happened there. What must've happened so many times.

It fills him with a boiling, burning rage that spreads from his gut to his throat, and the need to search for those people who did it to Rocío and beat them to a pulp, to rip those bastards apart limb from limb and-

He notices the way his nails start to break the skin of his palm and forces himself to breathe deeply, and relax his hands.

"... Sure."

He sighs, before offering gently,

"You can, uhm. Come up to my room and just, chill there? N- not for anything, obviously, just so you can... Have some place quiet to relax."

[the-miserable-fool]

“I…”

They didn’t fuck it up? Why would she stay why would he come back why why why?

They take another gulp of water and try to joke, but it came out half-assed and soft.

“How forward of you,” they mumble, taking a step out of the stall and smoothing out their clothes. They avoided the mirrors in front of them, knowing they’d look like a stupid mess. This costume was awful.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran gives a small smile to humour them.

"C'mon, let's get you somewhere quiet to rest up."

She waits for them to be ready before starting to walk. Even though they seem better now, he can't help but keep checking behind him to make sure they were following and doing okay.

When she reaches the door, she shows the guard her chips, and the guard opens the door for her, keeping it open for them before letting it shut.

Soft jazz music played from some speakers in the room, and he is tempted for a moment to try and find some way to turn it off, but a small part of him tells him that they wouldn't appreciate complete silence.

"You can stay in here as long as you like."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Thanks, Kiran.” They mutter, raspy voice unusually soft and gentle. As if they were afraid to scare themself.

Is this real? Real?

They brush their shaky hands against the walls and recoil at the texture. Scared of a wall, look at you.

Scared of it being real. Real means hurt. Your mask is gone the theatre is empty.

The slow jazz seems to calm them down a little, posture smoothing out, before they looked like a bristled cat.

At somepoint they find a dark corner and… lurk there. Standing. It was awful, they didn’t know where to put their limbs, what to say. They always knew what to say.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran finds a couch to sit on, and she looks over at them with furrowed brows.

"Do you... not wanna sit down? Or lay down and take a nap, or something?" He tentatively offers.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I can… I can do that,” they mumble shortly, walking towards Kiran and sitting beside her. On the other edge of the sofa. They didn’t know how well they’d deal with physical contact right now.

Kiran is good. She’d never do that she’s kind and she’s loving. He doesn’t love me but it’s okay. I don’t mind.

They scoot a little closer, hugging their knees.

[vengeful-vigilante]

“… who the fuck put you in the blender.”

— @the-miserable-fool

Kiran sighs, leaning his back against the table.

"They're an anon, we don't know their actual identity. It's unfortunate, but I have no clue. I think it was the anon who came into your inbox boasting about how they were gonna get revenge on me and you, or something."

She rubs her arm where a blade wound used to be.

"They did suddenly feel bad and fix me up though, which was... Weird."

[the-miserable-fool]

“… I’ll fuck them up. Kiran, I’m not joking. I’ll beat the shit out of them I don’t care what staff says or what they’ll do to me this is pissing me off.”

Their fists are clenched at their sides and their eyes strangely empty. Jester’s voice was unusually hollow and emotionless.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen at their sudden anger, not expecting it from their usually lighthearted demeanor.

"H- hey, Rocío, it's fine, really. I'm not even hurt, it's not a big deal."

She reaches out to place a calming hand on their shoulder.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. These fuckers think they can push me around like I’m some… thing they can stare and gawk at.”

Their breathing is eerily calm, but their eyes were fixed on something in the distance.

“They think I’m weak, Kiran. I can feel them waiting for me to keel over. It’s the other way around, isn’t it? They’re here for me. I’m keeping them around for fun. I’m in control.”

They meet his eyes.

“… right?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's expression falters, and his eyebrows twitch slightly as he thinks. After a few moments, he sighs and shifts closer to them.

"We're not in control here, Rocío. No one here is."

She sighs.

"And I know that sucks, it's fucking me up too-"

He snarls, but quickly reels himself back in.

"But... But there's no point in agonizing over it. Right now, as much as it annoys me... we just have to take it."

It feels so wrong to say that. Normally he'd find every opportunity to fight back and give the middle finger to any oppression, but... she doesn't know what to do here. She doesn't know how to deal with people who have nothing to lose.

[the-miserable-fool]

(TW: HEAVILY IMPLIED S/A PLEASE ONLY READ THE BOLD IF THE TOPIC MAKES YOU UNCOMFY.)

We’re not in control.

Like before.

They suddenly felt the ghostly imprints of hands everywhere, all over, everywhere.

Wanting, taking, groping, touching. Touching, touching, touching.

Wanting more and more. Nothing would satiate.

They would stare and gawk and watch and laugh and want.

Dance for them. Make them laugh. You are a puppet.

Rocío suddenly couldn’t breathe, icy hands had wrapped around their throat and squeezed it shut. Suffocating.

Can’t kill me, can’t kill me, not allowed, it’s on contract-

They jerked away from Kiran, eyes open but staring at nothing, locked far away from the present.

If they didn’t want it they would make them.

Can’t close your legs if they’ll just pry them open.

They gasp loudly, one hand clawing at their neck while the other clenches into a fist and slams repeatedly into their head.

Stop. Stop.

The pain brought them back, made them calm. They needed it. Needed it before-

A cold weight appeared in their stomach. They gagged.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen and she quickly steps in front of them, wanting to be in their eyeline.

"Fuck- hey, hey, Rocío."

When they start hitting their own head, he curses under his breath and pulls their hands away from themself. He holds them in a gentle, loose grip in case they want to pull away.

"Don't- don't do that, you'll hurt yourself. Please, look at me, c'mon."

She lowers her voice, keeping eye contact and speaking slowly.

"Focus on me, hon, please."

Shit, did she do something? She didn't mean to hurt them, or trigger them, or do anything bad, she just- fuck, he shouldn't have said that, they were clearly not doing well earlier, he should've been reassuring, that wasn't a time for honesty-

No. Now's not the time to be self-depricating.

He steels his voice for them.

"Follow my breaths, please, c'mon."

[the-miserable-fool]

Hands. Hands on them hands everywhere. They want more.

“GET OFF!” They scream, shoving at Kiran with all their might.

This, however, causes them to stumble back. Their breaths come out in ragged wheezes, their chest heaving with the effort to catch more air.

“You’re like them. YOU’RE LIKE THEM. GET THE FUCK OFF ME. DON’T TOUCH ME. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME.”

They wanted more they wanted more. This was their body now theirs. They did what they wanted. What they wanted.

Their hands find their hair and tug ruthlessly on it, blurry vision tunneling onto Kiran.

“I don’t want you I don’t want you I don’t want you you can’t make me. GO AWAY.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The shove does little to push her back, but she steps back to give them some distance. Her wide, concerned and confused eyes flick over them, desperately trying to find some way to help. There's nothing he can do.

You can't fight this like every other issue. You can't brute force your way through it.

Fuck.

"Rocío, listen to me, please, I'm not- I'm not trying to d- do anything. Please, just- calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you."

Her voice shakes as she attempts to calm them down, trying to talk to them while trying not to freak out himself.

[the-miserable-fool]

“Shut up. SHUT UP.” They yell, voice breaking at the last syllable.

A choked sob forces its way out of their throat, and they sniffle loudly.

You’re making a fool out of yourself.

They’re always watching the cameras.

It’s exactly like before.

They turn and bolt in the other direction, legs nearly giving out with how fast they stumbled away.

You’re free. This is a prison. Your body is yours. They’re using you for entertainment. You’re loved. They always want more.

Their brain was at war with itself, a pendulum swinging back and forth. The opposing side was winning, the sways growing weaker and weaker.

They didn’t care where they went, as long as it was quiet.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's heart drops as they sprint away from him and his instinct tells him to run after them, to find them again and fix what was happening, but instead he freezes. This couldn't be fixed by soothing words or reassurance. He doesn't know what to do.

"Shit."

He rubs his cheek hard.

"Shit, shit, shit- fuck!"

She punches the wall next to her with a yell, listening helplessly as they run away. Her knuckles sting.

What does she do?

[the-miserable-fool]

TW: vomiting

Rocío Jester(?) found their way into the bathrooms, fumbling for one of the stall doors and collapsing onto their knees. Their stomach convulsed once, twice, before they throw up into the toilet bowl.

Jester(?!) Rocío curls up after vomiting for a good few moments, burying their head into their knees and finally letting out a ragged sob.

“Gross… s’gross…” they whine pathetically, hearing their own mournful voice echo across the bathroom’s walls.

“Feels so nasty… ‘M so nasty…”

No. No, they didn’t choose it. Wasn’t their fault.

Did they like it? No. No. No. Didn’t. Did not. yes.

Hands everywhere. They were impure. Disgusting.

They cry like that for a good long while, even ending up lying on the bathroom floor, curled into a tight ball.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran stands like that for a while, panting and shaking, until he pulls himself together enough to walk around. He first goes to the bar, grabbing a glass of water in case Rocío would need it when she finds them. Crying did dehydrate people, after all.

She tries to think about this as calmly as possible, trying not to think about the fear and panic in their eyes when they looked at her. The fear wasn't because of her... right?

Eventually, when she walks by the bathrooms, she hears sniffles and her senses are immediately on high alert. He holds back the urge to just smash the door down, and instead tentatively knocks with a trembling hand.

"... Rocío? You in there?..."

She hesitantly calls out.

[the-miserable-fool]

They freeze, snapping up with enough force to bang their head against the wall. Ow.

You fucked it up you fucked it all up it’s over it’s over it’s over.

“… yeah.” They croak out softly, pulling their hat over their face a little more.

They open the stall door, head turned away from him.

Weak pathetic weak pathetic you’re a liability you’re weak.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh, thank Gods they open the door, Kiran actually deflates in relief. His eyes instinctively look over them for any injuries, but they just seem tired and the room smells like vomit, so she can assume what happened.

"Uh, here."

She hands them the glass of water.

"To, uh, wash out the taste of puke."

[the-miserable-fool]

They take it without a word, sipping it slowly to ease the cold weight in their stomach.

“… ‘M sorry,” they mumble out, still hiding behind their bangs and hat.

“Didn’t wanna hurt you.” They glance up and look over for injuries. She seemed fine. Physically anyway.

“… please don’t hate me.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran eyebrows furrow and she tilts her head in genuine confusion.

"Why're you sorry? I don't hate you, you didn't do anything wrong, and, respectfully, that push didn't really do anything."

If anything, his own dumbass self punching the wall gave him more of an injury.

"I should be apologising. I didn't mean to trigger you, or upset you by what I said in any way and I'm... Really sorry that I did."

He rubs the back of his neck in shame, eyes downcast.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I freaked out on you. Lost control. Again. It’s… it’s hard trying to understand which one’s me. Am I doing this for me or doing it for you?”

They rub at one of their arms, where their old scars lay. The bumps on their skin soothed them sometimes.

“I hate not being in control. Reminds me too much of that hellhole.”

Funny how loose your tongue felt when you were a hair’s width from drinking yourself to an early grave.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh.

Oh shit.

She grimaces uncomfortably, unsure of what to say.

"O-oh, that-... That's not-... That's bad."

'That's bad', such eloquent and well put together words, Kiran.

But a few words of their's stand out to him.

"W- wait, what do you mean 'which one's me'?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They tense up, gritting their teeth.

Rocío? Jester? Fool? So many different names. All for public appearances. But when the stage was empty and the crowd was gone, who was there to act for? Who were they when there was no one around?

Whenever they thought about it, they would feel a massive void open in their stomach. Emptiness swallowing them whole.

“… it’s… whatever. I’m fine.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran watches their body and facial language, lips pursed in a concerned frown, but he decides that now is not the time to push.

She had already put together the pieces of what happened in that circus. Their reluctance for touch, the need for control... He knows what happened there. What must've happened so many times.

It fills him with a boiling, burning rage that spreads from his gut to his throat, and the need to search for those people who did it to Rocío and beat them to a pulp, to rip those bastards apart limb from limb and-

He notices the way his nails start to break the skin of his palm and forces himself to breathe deeply, and relax his hands.

"... Sure."

He sighs, before offering gently,

"You can, uhm. Come up to my room and just, chill there? N- not for anything, obviously, just so you can... Have some place quiet to relax."

[the-miserable-fool]

“I…”

They didn’t fuck it up? Why would she stay why would he come back why why why?

They take another gulp of water and try to joke, but it came out half-assed and soft.

“How forward of you,” they mumble, taking a step out of the stall and smoothing out their clothes. They avoided the mirrors in front of them, knowing they’d look like a stupid mess. This costume was awful.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran gives a small smile to humour them.

"C'mon, let's get you somewhere quiet to rest up."

She waits for them to be ready before starting to walk. Even though they seem better now, he can't help but keep checking behind him to make sure they were following and doing okay.

When she reaches the door, she shows the guard her chips, and the guard opens the door for her, keeping it open for them before letting it shut.

Soft jazz music played from some speakers in the room, and he is tempted for a moment to try and find some way to turn it off, but a small part of him tells him that they wouldn't appreciate complete silence.

"You can stay in here as long as you like."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Thanks, Kiran.” They mutter, raspy voice unusually soft and gentle. As if they were afraid to scare themself.

Is this real? Real?

They brush their shaky hands against the walls and recoil at the texture. Scared of a wall, look at you.

Scared of it being real. Real means hurt. Your mask is gone the theatre is empty.

The slow jazz seems to calm them down a little, posture smoothing out, before they looked like a bristled cat.

At somepoint they find a dark corner and… lurk there. Standing. It was awful, they didn’t know where to put their limbs, what to say. They always knew what to say.

[the-miserable-fool]

*teleports you and Kiran to a safe apartment where you can live together and you're pardoned because magic and your criminal records are clean and everything because. Magic.*

(I feel bad for putting Kiran in the torture chamber)

Be free my children 🥹

“… Is this allowed? What?”

They’re wearing normal clothes. In a normal home. With a so called normal life.

This was wrong their skin was itchy.

“I guess we’re not being subjected to torture anymore. Damn it.” They joke awkwardly, looking for Kiran before they started freaking the fuck out.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran lets out a quiet sigh of relief when they fall asleep, slumping into the mattress.

"Thank gods, they're asleep..."

He thinks a little before dipping his head to place a kiss in their hair, lingering for a moment before pulling away. Another sigh leaves her and her eyes shut.

Soon, she falls asleep, with them in her arms, and no dreams of pain.

[the-miserable-fool]

The morning comes, and nearly passes before Rocío comes to. They blink open their eyes, feeling emptiness in their arms first thing.

Their eyes dart around the room in fear, Kiran left them. He got tired of them and left. Left them alone. Life was not worth it.

Then they heard clattering in the kitchen, and their energy returned. Everything was fine.

They get up and try to run a hand through their hair, but freeze when their bangs fall into their face. They push them out of their eyes. And glance into a nearby mirror.

Jesus Christ their hair was fluffy. Eugh.

They try to smoothen it out as they make their way to the kitchen, scratching at an itch on their back.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran hums happily to some music playing from his phone, cracking eggs into a bowl and mixing them while his foot taps on the kitchen tiles.

When she hears footsteps, she immediately turns to face the source of the sound and she grins when she finds Rocío.

"Morning!~ How'd you sleep?"

This is the most energetic she's been in a while, and she looks actually awake and her hair... It's out of its twists. Her afro is on full show, round and fluffy with her ebony and crimson hair shown off in the form of her coils.

[the-miserable-fool]

“… You’re happy.” They remark, rubbing one of their eyes. They couldn’t understand how anyone could be this happy in the morning. The sun was evil.

They approach from behind and lean on one of his shoulders, blinking slowly.

“It’s early,” they groan, burying their face into her shoulder.

“Your hair looks nice…” they mumble out, eyes fluttering shut. “What’re you making?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran giggles, smiling as he gently pulls them closer.

"You can't blame me for being a little excited about all of this. And thanks, I took my hair down this morning. Took like an hour."

She snorts.

"I was just making some scrambled eggs to go with toast, that sound cool?"

And then he points a finger at their face playfully.

"And I'm cutting up an apple for you. No arguments, you need your fruits and veggies."

...

"Also, the fuck you mean it's early? It's 11am, Rocío."

[the-miserable-fool]

They raise their head from her shoulder and glance at the clock on the oven.

“… you heard me.” They yawn loudly, stretching their arms and hearing their bones pop.

“Shit. Ow,” they rub at their back, grimacing. They glare playfully at the fruits and veggies mention and roll their eyes. For no reason, other than the fact that they wanted to piss him off.

“I’m not a child, don’t patronize me. I’ll eat what I want,” they say, opening the fridge and scooping a handful of chocolate chips from the snack drawer and knocking it back into their mouth.

It was, honestly, a childish thing to do. They wouldn’t admit it, though.

[vengeful-vigilante]

The way they yawn briefly reminds him of a sleepy cat, and he smiles at the thought. A snort leaves her as they knock back a few chocolate chips.

"Grown ass, 22 year old person. Fine, we'll split the apple, but you're getting some anyway."

He grimaces at the horrendous sounds leaving their body as they stretch.

"The fuck? You sound like a glow stick when you break the glass in them."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Eugh. I know, something’s up with my bones or something. Makes ‘em hurt sometimes.”

They blink sleepily, turning to face her, tilting their head.

“Glow sticks have glass in them? Hah, didn’t know that.”

Rocío walks back to him like an old dog, cementing itself in its place, right by his side.

[vengeful-vigilante]

"Yeah, it's a little vial of chemicals. It has hydrogen peroxide in it, while the outside has phenyl oxalate ester-"

Kiran stops herself before she goes rambling.

"Eh, nevermind."

He hums in thought at their statement, cutting up the apple and taking the time and care to carve out the seeds and core.

"You could be hyper mobile, that can sometimes bring joint aches. You're, like, super flexible, right?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They blink slowly, leaning over her shoulder, watching her cut the apples.

“… yeah, super flexible.” They wink.

“What’s hyper mobile?” They ask, trying to stretch some more, moving their joints in… odd ways that looked more like their skeleton was trying to escape their body rather than stretching.

They frown a little. They wanted to hear more about the glow stick thing…

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran looks at the way their joints move and clicks her tongue before pointing at their elbow.

"That."

He huffs.

"Okay, actually, let me properly explain. It's basically when your joints have an unusually large range of motion. It's cool for, like, gymnast and contortionist shit, but it can also lead to frequent dislocations, joint pain, and extreme fatigue. It's a chronic condition that's usually passed by genetics."

[the-miserable-fool]

“Huh. So that’s why I’m tired all the time.” They hum thoughtfully, tapping a finger against their chin.

“… thanks for telling me, I’m not good with words.”

They lean against the counter and gesture to her with a nod.

“How about you, any weird stuff you can do?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

"Don't take it as a diagnosis, I'm not a doctor."

Kiran chuckles.

"Nah, my body's pretty normal. Kinda boring compared to what yours can do-"

She glares at them light-heartedly.

"Don't make that sentence weird."

She starts plating up the eggs and toast onto separate dishes, putting the apple slices into a bowl for them to share.

[the-miserable-fool]

They cackle sharply, voice breaking from disuse.

“You know me so well, amorcito.” They giggle, tilting their head at him.

Plucking an apple slice from their plate, they pop it into their mouth and crunch, feeling juice explode in their mouth.

It was delicious. Being free from Bet and Forgive as well as prison is really going to expand their taste palette.

“Damn. I have to admit, this is kind of good.”

They pause, letting them both eat for a bit.

“So, what are we?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The question makes Kiran stop and nearly choke on her eggs. He coughs into his fist, eyes wide and cheeks red.

"Ah- wh- huh?"

She stares at them in shock.

"Wh- what do you mean?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They stare at him expectantly for a long time, before bursting into a fit of giggles.

“HAH! You should’ve seen your face! God, so serious! Lighten up, amorcito, we’re free.”

They nudge her with yet another apple in their mouth, humming contently while chewing it.

“I think this is my new favorite food.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran coughs again, giving a shaky smile.

"Gods, right, okay..."

She laughs awkwardly into her hand.

"Well, good to know you like the, uhm, apple."

They both finish their food after a while and after she puts their dishes in the dishwasher, she turns to them.

"So, where did you wanna go out today?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They perk up and tilt their head, following her to the kitchen. They were doing that a lot.

“I don’t care.” Rocío wasn’t great at plans at all. They hardly followed them either. Their idea of a plan was mostly ‘something something something, we win.’

“We can go to the gym, you wanted to go there,” they offer, dipping their head at him with a wide grin to match his height more.

[vengeful-vigilante]

“… who the fuck put you in the blender.”

— @the-miserable-fool

Kiran sighs, leaning his back against the table.

"They're an anon, we don't know their actual identity. It's unfortunate, but I have no clue. I think it was the anon who came into your inbox boasting about how they were gonna get revenge on me and you, or something."

She rubs her arm where a blade wound used to be.

"They did suddenly feel bad and fix me up though, which was... Weird."

[the-miserable-fool]

“… I’ll fuck them up. Kiran, I’m not joking. I’ll beat the shit out of them I don’t care what staff says or what they’ll do to me this is pissing me off.”

Their fists are clenched at their sides and their eyes strangely empty. Jester’s voice was unusually hollow and emotionless.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen at their sudden anger, not expecting it from their usually lighthearted demeanor.

"H- hey, Rocío, it's fine, really. I'm not even hurt, it's not a big deal."

She reaches out to place a calming hand on their shoulder.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. These fuckers think they can push me around like I’m some… thing they can stare and gawk at.”

Their breathing is eerily calm, but their eyes were fixed on something in the distance.

“They think I’m weak, Kiran. I can feel them waiting for me to keel over. It’s the other way around, isn’t it? They’re here for me. I’m keeping them around for fun. I’m in control.”

They meet his eyes.

“… right?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's expression falters, and his eyebrows twitch slightly as he thinks. After a few moments, he sighs and shifts closer to them.

"We're not in control here, Rocío. No one here is."

She sighs.

"And I know that sucks, it's fucking me up too-"

He snarls, but quickly reels himself back in.

"But... But there's no point in agonizing over it. Right now, as much as it annoys me... we just have to take it."

It feels so wrong to say that. Normally he'd find every opportunity to fight back and give the middle finger to any oppression, but... she doesn't know what to do here. She doesn't know how to deal with people who have nothing to lose.

[the-miserable-fool]

(TW: HEAVILY IMPLIED S/A PLEASE ONLY READ THE BOLD IF THE TOPIC MAKES YOU UNCOMFY.)

We’re not in control.

Like before.

They suddenly felt the ghostly imprints of hands everywhere, all over, everywhere.

Wanting, taking, groping, touching. Touching, touching, touching.

Wanting more and more. Nothing would satiate.

They would stare and gawk and watch and laugh and want.

Dance for them. Make them laugh. You are a puppet.

Rocío suddenly couldn’t breathe, icy hands had wrapped around their throat and squeezed it shut. Suffocating.

Can’t kill me, can’t kill me, not allowed, it’s on contract-

They jerked away from Kiran, eyes open but staring at nothing, locked far away from the present.

If they didn’t want it they would make them.

Can’t close your legs if they’ll just pry them open.

They gasp loudly, one hand clawing at their neck while the other clenches into a fist and slams repeatedly into their head.

Stop. Stop.

The pain brought them back, made them calm. They needed it. Needed it before-

A cold weight appeared in their stomach. They gagged.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen and she quickly steps in front of them, wanting to be in their eyeline.

"Fuck- hey, hey, Rocío."

When they start hitting their own head, he curses under his breath and pulls their hands away from themself. He holds them in a gentle, loose grip in case they want to pull away.

"Don't- don't do that, you'll hurt yourself. Please, look at me, c'mon."

She lowers her voice, keeping eye contact and speaking slowly.

"Focus on me, hon, please."

Shit, did she do something? She didn't mean to hurt them, or trigger them, or do anything bad, she just- fuck, he shouldn't have said that, they were clearly not doing well earlier, he should've been reassuring, that wasn't a time for honesty-

No. Now's not the time to be self-depricating.

He steels his voice for them.

"Follow my breaths, please, c'mon."

[the-miserable-fool]

Hands. Hands on them hands everywhere. They want more.

“GET OFF!” They scream, shoving at Kiran with all their might.

This, however, causes them to stumble back. Their breaths come out in ragged wheezes, their chest heaving with the effort to catch more air.

“You’re like them. YOU’RE LIKE THEM. GET THE FUCK OFF ME. DON’T TOUCH ME. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME.”

They wanted more they wanted more. This was their body now theirs. They did what they wanted. What they wanted.

Their hands find their hair and tug ruthlessly on it, blurry vision tunneling onto Kiran.

“I don’t want you I don’t want you I don’t want you you can’t make me. GO AWAY.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The shove does little to push her back, but she steps back to give them some distance. Her wide, concerned and confused eyes flick over them, desperately trying to find some way to help. There's nothing he can do.

You can't fight this like every other issue. You can't brute force your way through it.

Fuck.

"Rocío, listen to me, please, I'm not- I'm not trying to d- do anything. Please, just- calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you."

Her voice shakes as she attempts to calm them down, trying to talk to them while trying not to freak out himself.

[the-miserable-fool]

“Shut up. SHUT UP.” They yell, voice breaking at the last syllable.

A choked sob forces its way out of their throat, and they sniffle loudly.

You’re making a fool out of yourself.

They’re always watching the cameras.

It’s exactly like before.

They turn and bolt in the other direction, legs nearly giving out with how fast they stumbled away.

You’re free. This is a prison. Your body is yours. They’re using you for entertainment. You’re loved. They always want more.

Their brain was at war with itself, a pendulum swinging back and forth. The opposing side was winning, the sways growing weaker and weaker.

They didn’t care where they went, as long as it was quiet.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's heart drops as they sprint away from him and his instinct tells him to run after them, to find them again and fix what was happening, but instead he freezes. This couldn't be fixed by soothing words or reassurance. He doesn't know what to do.

"Shit."

He rubs his cheek hard.

"Shit, shit, shit- fuck!"

She punches the wall next to her with a yell, listening helplessly as they run away. Her knuckles sting.

What does she do?

[the-miserable-fool]

TW: vomiting

Rocío Jester(?) found their way into the bathrooms, fumbling for one of the stall doors and collapsing onto their knees. Their stomach convulsed once, twice, before they throw up into the toilet bowl.

Jester(?!) Rocío curls up after vomiting for a good few moments, burying their head into their knees and finally letting out a ragged sob.

“Gross… s’gross…” they whine pathetically, hearing their own mournful voice echo across the bathroom’s walls.

“Feels so nasty… ‘M so nasty…”

No. No, they didn’t choose it. Wasn’t their fault.

Did they like it? No. No. No. Didn’t. Did not. yes.

Hands everywhere. They were impure. Disgusting.

They cry like that for a good long while, even ending up lying on the bathroom floor, curled into a tight ball.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran stands like that for a while, panting and shaking, until he pulls himself together enough to walk around. He first goes to the bar, grabbing a glass of water in case Rocío would need it when she finds them. Crying did dehydrate people, after all.

She tries to think about this as calmly as possible, trying not to think about the fear and panic in their eyes when they looked at her. The fear wasn't because of her... right?

Eventually, when she walks by the bathrooms, she hears sniffles and her senses are immediately on high alert. He holds back the urge to just smash the door down, and instead tentatively knocks with a trembling hand.

"... Rocío? You in there?..."

She hesitantly calls out.

[the-miserable-fool]

They freeze, snapping up with enough force to bang their head against the wall. Ow.

You fucked it up you fucked it all up it’s over it’s over it’s over.

“… yeah.” They croak out softly, pulling their hat over their face a little more.

They open the stall door, head turned away from him.

Weak pathetic weak pathetic you’re a liability you’re weak.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh, thank Gods they open the door, Kiran actually deflates in relief. His eyes instinctively look over them for any injuries, but they just seem tired and the room smells like vomit, so she can assume what happened.

"Uh, here."

She hands them the glass of water.

"To, uh, wash out the taste of puke."

[the-miserable-fool]

They take it without a word, sipping it slowly to ease the cold weight in their stomach.

“… ‘M sorry,” they mumble out, still hiding behind their bangs and hat.

“Didn’t wanna hurt you.” They glance up and look over for injuries. She seemed fine. Physically anyway.

“… please don’t hate me.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran eyebrows furrow and she tilts her head in genuine confusion.

"Why're you sorry? I don't hate you, you didn't do anything wrong, and, respectfully, that push didn't really do anything."

If anything, his own dumbass self punching the wall gave him more of an injury.

"I should be apologising. I didn't mean to trigger you, or upset you by what I said in any way and I'm... Really sorry that I did."

He rubs the back of his neck in shame, eyes downcast.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I freaked out on you. Lost control. Again. It’s… it’s hard trying to understand which one’s me. Am I doing this for me or doing it for you?”

They rub at one of their arms, where their old scars lay. The bumps on their skin soothed them sometimes.

“I hate not being in control. Reminds me too much of that hellhole.”

Funny how loose your tongue felt when you were a hair’s width from drinking yourself to an early grave.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh.

Oh shit.

She grimaces uncomfortably, unsure of what to say.

"O-oh, that-... That's not-... That's bad."

'That's bad', such eloquent and well put together words, Kiran.

But a few words of their's stand out to him.

"W- wait, what do you mean 'which one's me'?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They tense up, gritting their teeth.

Rocío? Jester? Fool? So many different names. All for public appearances. But when the stage was empty and the crowd was gone, who was there to act for? Who were they when there was no one around?

Whenever they thought about it, they would feel a massive void open in their stomach. Emptiness swallowing them whole.

“… it’s… whatever. I’m fine.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran watches their body and facial language, lips pursed in a concerned frown, but he decides that now is not the time to push.

She had already put together the pieces of what happened in that circus. Their reluctance for touch, the need for control... He knows what happened there. What must've happened so many times.

It fills him with a boiling, burning rage that spreads from his gut to his throat, and the need to search for those people who did it to Rocío and beat them to a pulp, to rip those bastards apart limb from limb and-

He notices the way his nails start to break the skin of his palm and forces himself to breathe deeply, and relax his hands.

"... Sure."

He sighs, before offering gently,

"You can, uhm. Come up to my room and just, chill there? N- not for anything, obviously, just so you can... Have some place quiet to relax."

[the-miserable-fool]

“I…”

They didn’t fuck it up? Why would she stay why would he come back why why why?

They take another gulp of water and try to joke, but it came out half-assed and soft.

“How forward of you,” they mumble, taking a step out of the stall and smoothing out their clothes. They avoided the mirrors in front of them, knowing they’d look like a stupid mess. This costume was awful.

[the-miserable-fool]

Would you say Kiran is a AAA battery? Ace spec

Autistic

ADHD

Jester blinks, running a hand through their curls.

“Don’t know why you want to compare him to a battery… she’s not that energetic either.”

They snort out a laugh, holding a fist to their mouth.

“I can for sure say double A battery… he’s definitely autistic and ace spec, hah!”

[vengeful-vigilante]

“… who the fuck put you in the blender.”

— @the-miserable-fool

Kiran sighs, leaning his back against the table.

"They're an anon, we don't know their actual identity. It's unfortunate, but I have no clue. I think it was the anon who came into your inbox boasting about how they were gonna get revenge on me and you, or something."

She rubs her arm where a blade wound used to be.

"They did suddenly feel bad and fix me up though, which was... Weird."

[the-miserable-fool]

“… I’ll fuck them up. Kiran, I’m not joking. I’ll beat the shit out of them I don’t care what staff says or what they’ll do to me this is pissing me off.”

Their fists are clenched at their sides and their eyes strangely empty. Jester’s voice was unusually hollow and emotionless.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen at their sudden anger, not expecting it from their usually lighthearted demeanor.

"H- hey, Rocío, it's fine, really. I'm not even hurt, it's not a big deal."

She reaches out to place a calming hand on their shoulder.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I don’t care. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. These fuckers think they can push me around like I’m some… thing they can stare and gawk at.”

Their breathing is eerily calm, but their eyes were fixed on something in the distance.

“They think I’m weak, Kiran. I can feel them waiting for me to keel over. It’s the other way around, isn’t it? They’re here for me. I’m keeping them around for fun. I’m in control.”

They meet his eyes.

“… right?”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's expression falters, and his eyebrows twitch slightly as he thinks. After a few moments, he sighs and shifts closer to them.

"We're not in control here, Rocío. No one here is."

She sighs.

"And I know that sucks, it's fucking me up too-"

He snarls, but quickly reels himself back in.

"But... But there's no point in agonizing over it. Right now, as much as it annoys me... we just have to take it."

It feels so wrong to say that. Normally he'd find every opportunity to fight back and give the middle finger to any oppression, but... she doesn't know what to do here. She doesn't know how to deal with people who have nothing to lose.

[the-miserable-fool]

(TW: HEAVILY IMPLIED S/A PLEASE ONLY READ THE BOLD IF THE TOPIC MAKES YOU UNCOMFY.)

We’re not in control.

Like before.

They suddenly felt the ghostly imprints of hands everywhere, all over, everywhere.

Wanting, taking, groping, touching. Touching, touching, touching.

Wanting more and more. Nothing would satiate.

They would stare and gawk and watch and laugh and want.

Dance for them. Make them laugh. You are a puppet.

Rocío suddenly couldn’t breathe, icy hands had wrapped around their throat and squeezed it shut. Suffocating.

Can’t kill me, can’t kill me, not allowed, it’s on contract-

They jerked away from Kiran, eyes open but staring at nothing, locked far away from the present.

If they didn’t want it they would make them.

Can’t close your legs if they’ll just pry them open.

They gasp loudly, one hand clawing at their neck while the other clenches into a fist and slams repeatedly into their head.

Stop. Stop.

The pain brought them back, made them calm. They needed it. Needed it before-

A cold weight appeared in their stomach. They gagged.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's eyes widen and she quickly steps in front of them, wanting to be in their eyeline.

"Fuck- hey, hey, Rocío."

When they start hitting their own head, he curses under his breath and pulls their hands away from themself. He holds them in a gentle, loose grip in case they want to pull away.

"Don't- don't do that, you'll hurt yourself. Please, look at me, c'mon."

She lowers her voice, keeping eye contact and speaking slowly.

"Focus on me, hon, please."

Shit, did she do something? She didn't mean to hurt them, or trigger them, or do anything bad, she just- fuck, he shouldn't have said that, they were clearly not doing well earlier, he should've been reassuring, that wasn't a time for honesty-

No. Now's not the time to be self-depricating.

He steels his voice for them.

"Follow my breaths, please, c'mon."

[the-miserable-fool]

Hands. Hands on them hands everywhere. They want more.

“GET OFF!” They scream, shoving at Kiran with all their might.

This, however, causes them to stumble back. Their breaths come out in ragged wheezes, their chest heaving with the effort to catch more air.

“You’re like them. YOU’RE LIKE THEM. GET THE FUCK OFF ME. DON’T TOUCH ME. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME.”

They wanted more they wanted more. This was their body now theirs. They did what they wanted. What they wanted.

Their hands find their hair and tug ruthlessly on it, blurry vision tunneling onto Kiran.

“I don’t want you I don’t want you I don’t want you you can’t make me. GO AWAY.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

The shove does little to push her back, but she steps back to give them some distance. Her wide, concerned and confused eyes flick over them, desperately trying to find some way to help. There's nothing he can do.

You can't fight this like every other issue. You can't brute force your way through it.

Fuck.

"Rocío, listen to me, please, I'm not- I'm not trying to d- do anything. Please, just- calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you."

Her voice shakes as she attempts to calm them down, trying to talk to them while trying not to freak out himself.

[the-miserable-fool]

“Shut up. SHUT UP.” They yell, voice breaking at the last syllable.

A choked sob forces its way out of their throat, and they sniffle loudly.

You’re making a fool out of yourself.

They’re always watching the cameras.

It’s exactly like before.

They turn and bolt in the other direction, legs nearly giving out with how fast they stumbled away.

You’re free. This is a prison. Your body is yours. They’re using you for entertainment. You’re loved. They always want more.

Their brain was at war with itself, a pendulum swinging back and forth. The opposing side was winning, the sways growing weaker and weaker.

They didn’t care where they went, as long as it was quiet.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran's heart drops as they sprint away from him and his instinct tells him to run after them, to find them again and fix what was happening, but instead he freezes. This couldn't be fixed by soothing words or reassurance. He doesn't know what to do.

"Shit."

He rubs his cheek hard.

"Shit, shit, shit- fuck!"

She punches the wall next to her with a yell, listening helplessly as they run away. Her knuckles sting.

What does she do?

[the-miserable-fool]

TW: vomiting

Rocío Jester(?) found their way into the bathrooms, fumbling for one of the stall doors and collapsing onto their knees. Their stomach convulsed once, twice, before they throw up into the toilet bowl.

Jester(?!) Rocío curls up after vomiting for a good few moments, burying their head into their knees and finally letting out a ragged sob.

“Gross… s’gross…” they whine pathetically, hearing their own mournful voice echo across the bathroom’s walls.

“Feels so nasty… ‘M so nasty…”

No. No, they didn’t choose it. Wasn’t their fault.

Did they like it? No. No. No. Didn’t. Did not. yes.

Hands everywhere. They were impure. Disgusting.

They cry like that for a good long while, even ending up lying on the bathroom floor, curled into a tight ball.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran stands like that for a while, panting and shaking, until he pulls himself together enough to walk around. He first goes to the bar, grabbing a glass of water in case Rocío would need it when she finds them. Crying did dehydrate people, after all.

She tries to think about this as calmly as possible, trying not to think about the fear and panic in their eyes when they looked at her. The fear wasn't because of her... right?

Eventually, when she walks by the bathrooms, she hears sniffles and her senses are immediately on high alert. He holds back the urge to just smash the door down, and instead tentatively knocks with a trembling hand.

"... Rocío? You in there?..."

She hesitantly calls out.

[the-miserable-fool]

They freeze, snapping up with enough force to bang their head against the wall. Ow.

You fucked it up you fucked it all up it’s over it’s over it’s over.

“… yeah.” They croak out softly, pulling their hat over their face a little more.

They open the stall door, head turned away from him.

Weak pathetic weak pathetic you’re a liability you’re weak.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh, thank Gods they open the door, Kiran actually deflates in relief. His eyes instinctively look over them for any injuries, but they just seem tired and the room smells like vomit, so she can assume what happened.

"Uh, here."

She hands them the glass of water.

"To, uh, wash out the taste of puke."

[the-miserable-fool]

They take it without a word, sipping it slowly to ease the cold weight in their stomach.

“… ‘M sorry,” they mumble out, still hiding behind their bangs and hat.

“Didn’t wanna hurt you.” They glance up and look over for injuries. She seemed fine. Physically anyway.

“… please don’t hate me.”

[vengeful-vigilante]

Kiran eyebrows furrow and she tilts her head in genuine confusion.

"Why're you sorry? I don't hate you, you didn't do anything wrong, and, respectfully, that push didn't really do anything."

If anything, his own dumbass self punching the wall gave him more of an injury.

"I should be apologising. I didn't mean to trigger you, or upset you by what I said in any way and I'm... Really sorry that I did."

He rubs the back of his neck in shame, eyes downcast.

[the-miserable-fool]

“I freaked out on you. Lost control. Again. It’s… it’s hard trying to understand which one’s me. Am I doing this for me or doing it for you?”

They rub at one of their arms, where their old scars lay. The bumps on their skin soothed them sometimes.

“I hate not being in control. Reminds me too much of that hellhole.”

Funny how loose your tongue felt when you were a hair’s width from drinking yourself to an early grave.

[vengeful-vigilante]

Oh.

Oh shit.

She grimaces uncomfortably, unsure of what to say.

"O-oh, that-... That's not-... That's bad."

'That's bad', such eloquent and well put together words, Kiran.

But a few words of their's stand out to him.

"W- wait, what do you mean 'which one's me'?"

[the-miserable-fool]

They tense up, gritting their teeth.

Rocío? Jester? Fool? So many different names. All for public appearances. But when the stage was empty and the crowd was gone, who was there to act for? Who were they when there was no one around?

Whenever they thought about it, they would feel a massive void open in their stomach. Emptiness swallowing them whole.

“… it’s… whatever. I’m fine.”