Life and Other Nonsensical Things.

My name is Lauren, I am 27 years old. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD. Mommy of the best little girl. So hang in there guys, it's gonna be a bumpy ride. Also, I swear a lot. This is a personal blog. I bitch a lot and freak out over awesome things. I complain a lot. If there is ever a time I say, do, or post something problematic kindly shoot me a message. I am always learning and I have no doubt I will make mistakes along the way. 

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So mad this one came out blurry 😭

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I got a camera an an early present for my birthdaaaaaaaaay

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My baby is 3 months old today! She’s getting so biiiiig (but not chunky. Still no thigh rolls much to my dismay. She’s so damn long the fat doesn’t collect anywhere.)

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My baby, you guys! She’s three weeks old today. She was born on thanksgiving. It was not an easy labor (3rd degree tears, we both had a fever, I went tachycardic, she was distressed so I had to push before I had fully labored down, and I hemorrhaged). She’s my favorite human being.

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Right, so long time no post. I’m having a baby guys!!! Due Nov 20th and we just found out I'm having a girl!

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So I'm getting married.

[dismisses]

I can't believe it's already 2017

[dismisses]

Guys I’m crying omg I was drunk please stop reblogging this

[4lienmatt]

They want it to stop…..we reblog it to the extreme

[dismisses]

No no no lol please don’t

[soft-grunge-lesbian]

Forever reblog until 2017

[dismisses]

O my god no

[eigendefinition]

i cant stop laughing 

[troyeisart]

until 2017

[infinite-angels]

only 3 more years.

[natforprez]

I already added this to my queue, I don’t even know if i’ll still be on tumblr then

[hilokaul]

Science is neat, but I’m afraid it’s not very forgiving.

[thatgalpal]

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It's been just a few weeks since the 4 year mark of when I was raped by my ex-fiancé. I have come such a long way from that trauma and I've healed so much. It takes so little undo some of that work though. I haven't had a flash back or nightmare about him in years. For the most part my PTSD isn't as intrusive as it used to be. Last night I dreamt about him though. I've been so anxious today (yesterday really, but I haven't been to sleep yet because of said anxiety). It's so frustrating. I hate that it can still knock the wind out of me at times. I hate that it can still affect me like that. I want so badly to be completely healed. I want to not let a dream make me afraid to go to bed the next night (to the point of fighting my medications). I'm not, like, panic attack upset (yay for Xanax) but that doesn't take away that fear of my dreams. I had to live through it once and I would rather not have to live through it again. Like I said, it's frustrating.