I'm here to talk about burping

Old enough to know better (21+) / They/them Eructo kink blog / 18+ only please!

[the-ratwizard]

Intro

Nice to meet ya! I’m the rat wizard, I'm a writer, and I’m here to talk about burping.

I'm attracted to and write about all genders. Mostly short form. A lot of my stuff has a fantasy bent, and that goes double if you check out my AO3 (Please do by the way! Here)

My kink interests include:

-Burping

-Light stuffing

-Intox

-Vampires and assorted monsters

-By definition not a kink, but regular old sex

-Light emeto (but It might not even come up here. Pun intended)

-Others?? Who knows? I'm impressionable. Make me a pitch

Most importantly, I'm friendly and I'm thrilled to be here oversharing with all you nice people, so come hang out! As long as you're over 18, of course. Minors DNI. Put your age in your bio. You know the drill.

[the-ratwizard]

You see your partner doing dishes, and go to hug them from behind. You nuzzle into their neck, drawing a contented hum out of them as they relax against you. Encouraged, you snake your arms around their waist, pulling them closer.

"Oh, wait, hold on," they grunt, trying to loosen your hold. "Don't squeeze. You're gonna make me burp."

Face buried in their neck, you smirk to yourself and tighten your grip.

Surprised, they inhale sharply. You feel a low growl pass through their belly, feel it rumble up their throat, feel it push into their mouth right before they crane their neck to direct a rumbling BwuUOorp away from you. You also feel the contented burble that rolls through their stomach after, like a sigh of relief.

"I warned you," their tone is teasing, but you can tell they're blushing. "Hope you're proud of yourself."

You are.

[the-ratwizard]

I love that thing where someone stops moving to focus on getting up a burp. Pausing mid-step, cutting off a sentence, dropping everything to concentrate on burping up that stuck air that's been making them miserable. Seeing the relief written all over their body once it's out. Watching them come back online after:

"Oof! Sorry...What was i saying?"

[the-ratwizard]

Found your blog and wanted to say obsessed with your vampire stories! I can’t write for shjt but obsess over the idea of a vampire desperate to feed on someone they know that is human but know they can’t and they’re hungry and wanting to indulge and when they do it’s so wrong and so right at the same time. Miserable bloated vampires for the win

i like my vampires as miserable and bloated as possible lol. Thank you!!

[mosslawn1-blog]

Burp kink is so unserious I'm getting off to onomatopoeia

[the-ratwizard]

Genuinely. Like “fuuuck look at all those fucking vowels…”

[the-ratwizard]

You're studying in your dorm room, and they're asleep, sprawled out on your bed, legs across your lap. As you're admiring the peaceful set of their face, a roiling groan swirls through their middle. It doesn't sound comfortable, and isn't based on the way their eyebrows knit together in their sleep. Another chain of dense gurgles has them squirming, and now you're concerned.

You try to go back to studying, but the tumultuous whines and glugs are only getting more persistent. They whimper softly, then flop onto their side. The movement frees a wet blurp from their guts, followed by an avalanche of bubbles that you can hear traveling up their throat. You worry they're about to be sick.

Instead they burp. Once. Twice. Three times. Each one big and airy, rumbling in their chest before passing cleanly out their slack throat. They finish with a relieved sigh, lips quirking up into a smile.

You blink, then break into a grin a moment later. You can't resist giving their belly a little pat on their behalf. It responds with a gaseous rumble that races up their throat, exploding into an impressively loud belch. Too loud apparently. They wake with a start before they even finish burping. The sound changes in pitch as they jerk upright, finishing soft and bubbly.

Blinking sleep from their eyes, they bringing up their hand to cover a small after burp. They turn to you, brows knitting together as they try to piece together what happened.

You suppress a giggle. "Have a nice nap?"

"I—yeah." They shake their head, still disoriented. "Did you burp?"

[the-ratwizard]

Why are burps just so gosh darn attractiveeee

i think partially cause they're not lol. They’re bodily, and gross, and necessary, which also makes them kind of intimate. Burping is just so human

[the-ratwizard]

letting up a burp so excessively loud and obnoxiously gross that you're genuinely surprised at yourself. Going through that moment of Did that come out of me? I don't make sounds like that, before accepting that, yes, actually, you just did

[the-ratwizard]

Scenarios based on dialogue because I'm here to talk about burping:

- They grimaced, letting out a pitiful little whimper. When they spoke again their voice was tight, audibly straining around gas. “I’m not gonna burp,” they assured you unconvincingly.

-They doubled over, stifling their laughter with a bubbly choking sound. “Don’t make me laugh! I'll burp!” They knew any other sounds coming out of their mouth threatened to open the floodgates.

-They paused mid sentence, ducking their head with a distinctive swallow. “Sorry. Burp.” They explained.

-“Do you mind if I burp?” The ominous gurgle that bubbled in their throat told you they didn't really have a say in the matter.

-Another aerated growl passed through their stomach, drawing both of your attention. They muttered an apology, placing a hand to their middle. You did your best to suppress a smirk. “Do you...need to burp?” You didn't know a human face could go that red.

-A: “Why do you sound like that?"

B: *voice low and constricted* "I'm trying not to burp.”

-Instead of answering you, they held up a finger for you to wait. The stubborn pocket of air had been sitting in their chest for an eternity. If they broke their concentration now they worried it would settle back in their stomach to torment them for who knew how long."Can't talk. Need to burp."

-(The context seems pretty obvious here) “I can’t—mmrrp—stop buUUUuurping.”

[the-ratwizard]

I'm eyes emoji-ing thru ur vampires tag, a+++ dude

thank you!! I think I'd just organized that when you sent this. I never expected to need a vampire tag on my eructo blog, but life's funny like that

[the-ratwizard]

hihi, ur movie theater post made me think of:

your partner muffling their burps with your (VERY willing) mouth through a kiss. everyone around thinks it’s a romantic gesture while in reality you’re feeling their air hit the back of your throat as they desperately try to relieve their stomachache while not causing a disturbance.

your initial offer to let them do this was mortifying, but it’s either this, suffering in silence for the rest of the movie, or humiliating themself by burping into a packed movie theater. so they agree, albeit shamefully for needing this from you.

(sorry if this is weird)

you objectively wrote the hell out of this. I’m not personally much of a burp kiss person, but this deserves to be seen by the many people who are.

(Please. It would be a real challenge to be weird here!!)

[the-ratwizard]

You don't notice how quickly you've finished your soda until you hit bottom, straw pulling up air. You're at the movies, so preoccupied with worrying whether or not your date is enjoying themself, that you absentmindedly sucked down your drink in record time. As though it was waiting for you to realize your mistake, your stomach gives an ominous, gaseous whine. You desperately need to burp.

Normally you're good at subtly letting up a burp. If you'd paced yourself, you could have been breathing out quiet little bursts of soda fizz under your breath this whole time. Stifling soft sounds in your throat, and exhaling bubbly gas politely out your nostrils. But it's too late for that. Now your stomach is so pressurized that you don't trust yourself to control whatever it might send up. You resolve to hold in the carbonation, and try to focus on the movie.

It hurts. Your stomach starts producing loud groans, which you attempt pathetically to disguise by shifting in your seat. The fidgeting is starting to draw your date's attention. They look over, and you offer what you hope is a reassuring smile. It feels closer to a pained grimace.

You consider excusing yourself to the bathroom to sort out your bad decisions. But, before you can, the action on screen explodes and the soundtrack swells. Startled, you gasp out a burp without meaning to.

Your heart stops. Did anyone hear that? Your burp wasn't quiet, but the movie was far louder. You dart your eyes towards your date and find their attention still glued to the screen. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

This could actually work. You wait for another action scene, then burp under cover of the soundtrack. More confident now, you chance a low, urgent—huurrp. Mercifully, it works again. And again. And again.

hruurp

boorr...urp

hoauurp

The pressure grows more manageable with each release of bubbly gas. It's starting to seem like you might successfully burp away your bellyache without alerting your date or anyone else in the theater. Then the soundtrack hits a lull.

That's fine. You know the volume will pick back up. Still feeling in control, you swallow back a belch, determined to wait.

But the quiet is stretching on. You can feel air trying to creep up your throat again, but force yourself to gulp it back. To contain any humiliating noises your stomach tries to send up. Your uncomfortable squirming must be more noticeable than you'd hoped because your date looks at you again concerned. They lean over.

"You okay?"

They're so close. Close enough you can feel their warmth radiating onto your skin...Close enough they can probably hear the soda bubbles fizzing inside you. You wince at the thought.

Wanting to reassure them you're alright, you go to whisper back. But, as you do, an audible gurgle breaks from your gut. Panic seizing you, you try to pull back, but it's too late. All the air you've been holding in rushes out of you in an abrupt belch, devastatingly loud in the silent theater.

bwwooOOuUurrp!

It's just as satisfying as it is humiliating, which is to say immensely. The physical relief is a poor trade for the sting of embarrassment. People are starring. Your date is starring. They're gaping at you open mouthed, and clutching at their ear, as the echoes of your harsh belch ring out.

To add insult to injury, another action sequence starts on screen. The soundtrack swells again. Much too late to save you.

[the-ratwizard]

I love sitting next to you while you audibly try to suppress a burp. The kind of burp I can hear building in you long before you get a say in whether or not to let it up. I love pretending not to notice as you shift in your seat, hoping to quiet your body down. Knowing that you're trying (but failing) to spare me from the gross sounds of your digestion. Even if you never actually allow yourself to burp, you can't disguise the little wet blorps and glugs of a stomach being tasked with containing air that wants out. I love watching you try not to react as your belly gurgles like boiling water, freeing a stream of air that burbles up your chest. Listening as you flaccidly gulp it back down, and knowing you just narrowly avoided letting out a violent belch. A belch you probably really needed.

[the-ratwizard]

i wonder how common it is to have this fetish but also have GI problems or GERD or, god forbid, be unable to burp

i think like really common actually! I've had a handful of asks about this, and unless they're all from one guy pretending to be a bunch of guys, i'm taking them as indicative of a trend lol

[the-ratwizard]

had to work up some confidence, but...

massive fan of all your stuff! the little fics you write, the scenarios, the thoughtdumps, it's all stellar. always look forward to seeing your name when i #eructo my search history.

think you've got anything for characters that look one way but act another? think a giant that gets really embarrassed about the volume of their belches or someone who's normally really quiet trying to drag their burps on as long as they can. contradictory stuff like that just hits~ ♡

keep doing what you're doing - you're so good at it!

~ @burpnadette 🫧

oh my gosh that is so incredibly sweet!! Thank you!

I'm with you on the contrast thing. Big fan of giants with cute manners, over here. I also like when characters:

-are cute and sweet, but have the grossest burps. They've got a bellyache, and you're cradling their head in your lap while they moan about how full they are. After a particularly pitiful whimper, they jolt upright, clutching their stomach. You briefly worry they might be sick. Instead, they lurch forward with a massive, guttural belch that sounds like water bottoming out in a garbage disposal. Once it gurgles to a close, they give a little squeak of surprise, looking at you like they didn't know they could make that sound either

-are serious, bordering on stern, but have no shame about burping. You're attending office hours with your relentlessly composed TA, on whom you have a desperate crush. They welcome you with their usual cordial smile, only to have it suddenly falter into a grimace. They gesture for you to wait a moment, then turn to the side before gurgling out a long, pressurized belch. You're stunned silent, but they're business as usual. "Sorry. Couldn't do that during lecture. How can I—brrp—help you?" They burp throughout the rest of the meeting, and you just have to sit there and take it

-are big and tough, but their burps are comically dainty. They never burp in front of anyone if they an help it. Not because they're worried about being rude or gross, but because their burps sound like a kitten with hiccups. Whenever they slip up in front of their friends they get teased mercilessly "Was that you?" "that's how you burp? That was so cute!" Doesn't help anything that they blush easy too

-burp way louder than they speak. They're painfully shy and soft spoken. The type of person who wants to go completely unnoticed at all times. But they've been cursed with the most vocal stomach. Noisy groans and growls when they're sick, when they're hungry, when they're full. It's mortifying. And those are just the sounds they manage to keep inside. If they ever fail to stifle a burp, there's an actual risk of them setting off car alarms

-are "the mature one" in the group, but are secretly great at burping. They're so polished and well-mannered. No one would ever guess they can belch like a frat boy at the drop of a hat. One day, their friends decide to have a burping contest. They sit it out, finding the whole thing gross and childish. They watch, but the contest is dragging on with no clear winner. Finally, they decide the quickest way to end it is to finish it themself. They step up, gulp down all the air they can hold, then expertly push up a roaring, picture-perfect belch. In its wake, their friends can only gape at them. Suddenly self-conscious, they clear their throat "Don't...don't tell anyone I did that"

[the-ratwizard]

Just wanted to say I loved your subby vamp fic sooo much and now I desire to give a vampire back pats until he buuuurpsss

god I want to burp a vampire so bad 😂 I'm really happy you liked it!!

[the-ratwizard]

Any more vampire related burping scenarios? 🩸🦇 adored the more subbyyy variety

literally always:

-Vampires feeding from you while you're drunk, and getting tipsy and burpy from it. Trying to maintain some sense of decorum as they drink you down, but very obviously burying little bubbly hiccups and burps into your neck

-Greedy, blood-glutted vampires who don't know their limits. Still begging for more of you even though they can't get a sentence out without interrupting themself with helpless, overfull burps. All that new blood allowing a deep flush to color their cheeks as they do

-Self-loathing vampires full of blood they'd rather not have drunk. Fighting back satisfied burps so they won't have to revisit the taste of their meal. Each rich, metallic belch a guilty reminder of what's sitting heavily in their stomach

-Subby vampires stuffed full of you, waiting for your permission to burp. Looking up at you with pleading eyes, desperate to let out some of the air they swallowed in their haste to fill their stomach with you. You tell them they can burp...soon. Just a few more mouthfuls for you first

-Vampires with belly aches from human food. They fed before coming out to keep their hunger in check, but they're forced to take a bite of something for appearance's sake. Now they're laying in bed with a tumultuous belly full of liquid, belching as much as they can to keep the pressure down, and feeling the blood inside of them slosh thickly each time they do

-Vampires kink teasing you. Sucking at your neck slowly, clearly already full to bursting. You can feel their belly pressing into you, expanding as they drink. They're letting out soft burps against your throat that just slip from their open mouth, insincerely excusing themself every time you shiver at their warm breath on your skin

-Vampires that resisted their cravings for too long. They rush home after a day of fighting the urge to feed, gulping down their emergency supply of blood. Opening their throat to let it pour down without resistance, stomach groaning at the volume of liquid and air being forced into it. They pull the container away, completely powerless to stop the belch that tears out of them, sounding more like the results of an exorcism than a normal biological function. They fall back against the counter, so grateful to have finally silenced their hunger, and so relieved to have gotten up that belch