Texts from...well, Hell, basically.

A text blog inspired by textsfromthebsaa. Our FAQ is this way. Be excellent to each other!

[the-resident-devils]

Y'all, I need to get back to work over here.

[the-resident-devils]

[gross sobbing]

[the-resident-devils]

"Oh don't worry, it isn't mine."

[the-resident-devils]

I love our boys so much you guys.

[the-resident-devils]

Boy if that ain’t the truth.

[the-resident-devils]

Songs of Metamorphosis and of Experience

Dante: Has anyone seen V?

Albert: Unfortunately. He's been talking with my sister for the past hour and a half.

Dante: That doesn't sound too ba-

Albert: Exclusively in Blake and Kafka quotes respectively.

Dante: Holy shit.

Albert: I hope you're aware that I'm blaming you for this.

[the-resident-devils]

Sometimes we just have to be real with ourselves.

[dizzydaikon]

Just two friends shopping for their wedding rings uwu

Based off: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10809924

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[the-resident-devils]

I have to reblog this over here too! This is where I keep all my Vergil/Wesker shenanigans (and just general Sparda kid or Wesker kid fuckery). It's also where I posted the fic this came from after I wrote it! You are an absolute treasure, my friend. 💙🖤

[the-resident-devils]

What form of power is this?

Y'all, as soon as I get my motivation back, we're gonna get up to some shit in here again. After 5, the floodgates for new fuckery have opened and I am here for it. If you want to remain spoiler free, I'll use the tag "so it is written" so you can blacklist that if you want!

[the-resident-devils]

What A Horrible Night to Have a Curse

Dante: Hey, Vergil, I've got a lead on a new--

Vergil: [doing paperwork with headphones on]

Dante: Vergil. V E R G I L.

Vergil: [can't hear him at all]

Dante: Huh. Might as well make this a jam session, then! [breaks out Nevan and jams loudly, which causes feedback that makes Vergil toss the headphones off]

Vergil: How in the-- [looks over to Dante] Of course.

Dante: [notices the exasperated look and stops playing] Aww, I thought we were having a Partridge Family moment.

Vergil: Hardly. What do you want?

Dante: I got a lead on a new mission, but it seems more up your alley. [hands over a file folder]

Vergil: [looks over the papers he's given] This does look promising. I'll take care of it.

Dante: Knew I could count on you. [picks up the headphones and goes to hand them back]

Dante: [quizzical look]

Dante: [puts one earphone up to his ear]

Dante: ...is this Devil Trigger?

Vergil: [abruptly takes the headphones back] I don't want to talk about it.

[devil-may-cry-v]

[the-resident-devils]

Thank you @firemoonlily for pointing out that Nero apparently learned a version of Cobra Strike from Virus Dad.

[the-resident-devils]

Gotta let it out

Nero: BANG BANG BANG

Dante: [in unison while playing air guitar] PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER

Vergil: ALRIGHT, ENOUGH!

[stops the playback]

Vergil: THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE 300TH TIME YOU'VE PLAYED THAT SONG. IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO SOMETHING ELSE RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO CATAPULT YOU BOTH INTO THE SUN.

Nero: Jeez, someone's touchy he didn't get to share the spotlight.

Dante: You might say that his-

[rewinds, unmutes, turns up the volume on the speakers]

Dante: FRU~STRA~TION IS GETTING BIGGER

Vergil: I hate both of you so much right now.

[the-resident-devils]

That was how Vergil unknowingly gained Alex’s blessing to date her brother.

[the-resident-devils]

I messed around in photoshop a few weeks ago and made these. Then I figured, “What better time to post this than National Umbrella Day?” [The cap of Albert came from https://wolfshadow14081990.deviantart.com/ who has a ton of amazing screenshots!]

[the-resident-devils]

What else did you expect from this fuckery blog?

Hope your holidays have been rad, regardless of what you celebrate! :D

[the-resident-devils]

Sometimes you need to rework your approach when certain somebodies decide to fuck up your plans and live. H o n e s t l y.

[the-resident-devils]

I can’t be trusted with the internet.