Nick Rivers — Fake name | Blog for stoned thoughts

Fake name used because I like anonymity. If I'm here, I'm stoned. I'm Nick Rivers, trans stoner with too many mental illnesses to name. Might have fandom content. Will MOSTLY just be for logging thoughts while high and sharing my stuff with the world. Young Adult (20-25 range), exact age not confirmed for privacy reasons. Cupiosexual Panromantic, FTM. Not sure what else to put. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[the-rivers-stones]

Okay, intro time.

Hey everyone. I'm gonna preface this by saying I am a very private person, so information that I think is too private will be either changed or not given with exact details. Keep this in mind as we move forwards.

My name is Nick Rivers. I'm a young adult in the 20-25 age range, trans man, and stoner. I have a lot of mental illnesses, many of which I will be excluding from this list, but to name a few, ADHD, autism, BPD, and DPD. I say this, because these will affect how I say things and how my posts will look.

Continuing on, I am only human, and thus an unreliable narrator to my life. Not everything I say is fact, nor should it be taken as such. My mental illnesses sometimes cause me to behave in ways that seem manipulative, cruel, or violent (though the last of those is extremely rare in my case). I don't always notice when it does. Be gentle and be kind if you intend to point this out. This is not an aspect of myself I can currently control efficiently.

This blog is intended to be a safe space for myself and others with similar mental health issues and similar substance habits that are over the age of eighteen. If you're a minor, please leave this blog, and return when you're of age if you'd like. Thoughts can be posted freely and at any time. Censorship (within the reasonable, of course) does not exist in this space.

Basically, all I'm going to be doing is reposting stuff, talking about whatever is on my mind, and talking about things from my life as they happened/as I remember from my own perspective.

Other than that, I don't think there's much to say on what this blog is. So I guess I'll move onto some of my interests.

I like anime, old internet culture, 90s aesthetics, games, and reading. I also roleplay as a hobby, and I write sometimes. Music is also a very big interest, and I have a special interest in sexual deviancy such as kink and BDSM. Kind of an odd mish-mash of stuff here, I know.

A couple of specific interests I have are as follows:

ANIME

- Yu-Gi-Oh (specifically early manga/Season 0 and early Duel Monsters, as well as Arc V)

- Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji

- Mob Psycho 100

- InuYasha

- Pokemon

- Ouran High School Host Club

- Vampire Knight

- Kotaro Lives Alone

- Erased

- My Hero Academia

- Naruto

- Future Diary

GAMES

- Undertale

- Project Zomboid

- Minecraft

- Quarantine Zone: The Last Check

- The Walking Dead

- Call Of Duty

- Rainbow Six Seige

- Overwatch

- Paladins: Champions Of The Realm

- OMORI

- Yuppie Psycho

- Angels Of Death

- Cold Front

- Corpse Party

- Elevator Hitch

- Dead Plate

- Your Boyfriend

- Resident Evil

- Silent Hill

- Riddle School

- Pico's School

- Friday Night Funkin'

- Five Nights At Freddy's

- Bendy And The Ink Machine

- Little Nightmares

- Mortal Kombat

- Misao

- Mad Father

- Ib

- Mogeko Castle

- Ao Oni

- Probably more I'm forgetting

MOVIES/TV SHOWS

- The Walking Dead

- Knives Out/Glass Onion

- Momento

- Criminal Minds

- Twisters (2024)

CARTOONS

- Bluey

- Winx Club (older versions moreso than reboots)

- My Little Pony

- Steven Universe

- Adventure Time

- Regular Show

- Adventures From Moomin Valley (90s Moomin series)

- Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss

- The Amazing Digital Circus

BOOKS

- Nancy Drew (& The Hardy Boys)

- Goosebumps

- Cell by Stephen King

- The Matched trilogy by Allie Condie

- The Iron Butterfly trilogy by Chanda Hahn

- Pet Semetary by Stephen King

- The Cat Who Could... series

WEB SERIES

- Eddsworld

- Dream SMP

- Oishi High School Battle

INTERNET CULTURE

- Old song parodies (such as "I'm A Zombie Maybe")

- Old memes

- Old lyric videos

- Old Newgrounds and flash content

- Old Creepypasta content

- Old social media (such as MySpace and early YouTube)

AESTHETICS

- Punk

- Emo/Scene

- Grunge

- Rocker/Metalhead aesthetics

- 80s Stoner aesthetics

- Hippie/Flower Child

- Weirdcore

- Kidcore

- Dark Academia

- Apocalypse/End Of World aesthetics

OTHER MEDIA/CONTENT

- Zombie Media

- Horror Media

- Angst

- Hurt/Comfort

- Whump

- Supernatural/Paranormal Media

- Cryptids/Urban Legends/Creepypasta/etc.

- Theory content (such as Game/Film Theory on YouTube)

- True Crime

And there's probably tons more I forgot. I also am learning the guitar and like to sing, and I can draw, kinda. I sew sometimes, and I bake even less. My hobbies mostly lie in reading and writing.

That's really all I can think to put in here. But just expect to see all that kinda stuff in this blog.

Also, if you have anything you'd like to share, be it an experience, a thought, or what have you, with the world anonymously, feel free to send an anonymous ask. I'll put it up and tag it appropriately.

You guys have fun, I guess. I expect the world to end if you don't./j

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I can’t make pasta any more without mumbling to myself, “wet the drys… then dry the wets…”

[baggytrousers27]

[mumblingsage]

Wait, is this origin behind

[afeelgoodblog]

The kid will cherish this for their whole life. If they remember it.

[theroseandthebeast]

[nightpool]

went to look this tweet up so I could rt it and discovered this is the same dude as the tubthumping tweet masterpiece

[supreme-leader-stoat]

King

[the-rivers-stones]

Hehe, Spencer Reid is so autistic. I want to squish him like a stress ball.

[the-rivers-stones]

Low-key hate how little empathy people have sometimes. Why are we being so cruel? Why are we this way? You can point out red flags, you can mention that something makes you uncomfortable. But that's still a human being. Humans deserve kindness, understanding, and the benefit of the doubt.

This is about the kid who supposedly killed her parents and reached out to true crime creators online to cover the story. Cws for murder, discussion of trauma responses kinda in-depth, true crime discussion and all it entails. Also suicide mentions, but only briefly.

I understand certain things. But this genuinely feels malicious. It feels like intentional dramatization, intentional jabs at nonsensical things. These are fairly normal trauma responses for people that age. Trust me, I would know. My Nana killed herself. I reacted very similarly. If my parents had been killed, I would have done much the same. I know I would because I know who I am. I know how I respond to trauma. I know how people like me respond to trauma.

What happened to innocent until proven guilty? What happened to waiting until the evidence comes out in court?

That's just a kid. A little girl. She might have done it, law enforcement might know more than us. But these are nonsensical things to critique. These seem perfectly normal to me. These don't feel like red flags when I know that people can respond to trauma like this.

This girl was suffering. She might not have been posting the normal stuff because she killed them, though. Maybe she was just trying to cope. She might not have been mentioning herself in her posts, talking about her own pain, begging people to cover the story, because she did it. She might have just been trying to alleviate some of her pain by finding a support system and encouraging true crime podcasts to possibly find other clues LEOs might have missed.

She is still a kid. Yes, kids can be capable of horrible things. But we shouldn't assume that an accusation is true without evidence, period, point blank. And we definitely shouldn't be just taking all supposed evidence at face value. We need to do our own research. Form our own opinions. When we stop doing that, we become no more than animals. We are different from animals because we have the ability to think, but when we don't, we are no better than them. What happened to thinking for yourself?

If you stand for nothing, friends, you will fall for everything. And I'm quite sick of people falling for things like this. Buying into this without proof is a trap. Don't let that trap catch you.

[thehmn]

A lot of people around me are having kids and every day it becomes more apparent that hitting your children to punish them is insane because literally everything can be a horrible punishment in their eyes if you frame it as such.

Like, one family makes their toddler sit on the stairs for three minutes when he hits his brother or whatever. The stairs are well lit and he can see his family the whole time, he’s just not allowed to get up and leave the stairs or the timer starts over. He fucking hates it just because it’s framed as a punishment.

Another family use a baseball cap. It’s just a plain blue cap with nothing on it. When their toddler needs discipline he gets a timeout on a chair and has to put the cap on. When they’re out and about he just has to wear the cap but it gets the same reaction. Nobody around them can tell he’s being punished because it’s in no way an embarrassing cap, but HE knows and just the threat of having to wear it is enough.

And there isn’t the same contempt afterwards I’ve seen with kids whose parents hit them. One time the kid swung a stick at my dog, his mother immediately made him sit on the stairs, he screamed but stayed put, then he came over to my dog and gently said “Sorry Ellie” and went back to playing like nothing happened, but this time without swinging sticks at the nearby animals.

[objectlessondujour]

The psych nerds found out ages ago that punishments that make the child think for a few minutes (about one minute or year of age until they're tweens) is much more helpful to develope social intelligence and understanding than punishments which prevents thinking, like the ones that involve pain. In fact, corporal punishment encouraged lying, extreme reactions, violent outbursts, go figure, they don't trust you.

[bogleech]

This is all really fucking serious and important and I'm mainly reblogging for that, because this correct mentality needs to be spread around more, but I'm also reblogging because I absolutely lost it at the child who dreads having to wear the normal blue hat of shame.

[ether--net]

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Captain Flint (via letsbeloneytogetherr)

[the-rivers-stones]

Okay fr, gonna go smoke some more and then probs crash for some sleep. Gn, Tumblr. Don't miss me too much, 'kay?

[vexheart]

[wordx]

I don't know how to deal with your absence.

[thoughtcascades]

you’re either in my bed or in my poetry, pick your poison

[lennyjamin]

spoke deeply to me.

[ether--net]

[seaphine]

It shattered me, the moment I realized no one truly loves me. No one genuinely cares. And that hurt deeper than I could ever explain.

[the-rivers-stones]

I wonder if my aesthetic interests are the way they are because I'm a lonely person. I mean, I have my headmates, but that feels different.

Like, maybe I like wastelands, apocalypses, liminal spaces, and dystopias because I like that it feels familiar, but glamorized. Like "hey, that feels like when I was a kid running around all on my own making my own food and hiding from my parents when they were angry" kinda vibes. And that is exactly what those aesthetics remind me of, btw. That crushed naivety. The lingering glittering edges of wonder being actively snuffed out as you felt yourself slipping away from reality.

It feels like so many emotions, too many all at once, and yet like a hollow nothingness all at the same time.

I guess it feels like dissociating. At least to me. Maybe those are really weird triggers. I should look into that when I'm sober.

[rottingmaramapickle]

I'll love you quietly and from afar.