beyond the light

Posting disjointed thoughts i have while i study. 23.

[kittennextdoor]

(18+) Your man is Mr. #hungwalk ݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆

Men who have a hung walk are the worst because they never seem to know they're doing it. They just stroll through life with that lazy, unhurried confidence, shoulders loose, chin raised, taking up entirely too much space in your imagination. Every step looks deliberate, like gravity pulls on them a little differently than everybody else.

He walks like his thick, heavy dick is always half-hard and demanding attention. You’ve seen it a hundred times — the way his jeans hang just right, the slight bulge shifting as he moves, the way he unconsciously adjusts himself when he thinks no one’s looking. But you’re always looking; it's hard not to.

Maybe it's the slight spread of his stance, maybe it's pure delusion on your part, but once you notice it, it's over. Suddenly you're watching him cross the room like a detective gathering evidence, trying not to stare while your brain supplies information. The worst part is when he catches you staring, asking you what you're smiling at while you're busy fighting for your life because he just walked across the room like he's being weighed down.

It is even more obvious when he sits down. He drops into a chair, pushes his hips forward slightly to get comfortable, and spreads his legs wide in that effortless man-spread. The thick bulge in his pants shifts heavily with the movement, settling prominently between his thighs like it needs all the room it can get. He leans back, one arm draped over the back of the couch or chair, completely oblivious to how obscene and distracting the whole thing looks.

You can’t help but stare every single time.

[the-unseenone]

Mr.poindexter.

[the-unseenone]

your dex imagine is soooooo good! I love stalker dex so much like yes literally crazy psycho and follow me everywhere. I love how the reader toyed with him over and over again.

Thank youuu. Him being obsessed?? Like knowing everything about me and what not? Trying to be charming and all so he can make me love him but I know he is following me and I am acting like I don't know.?

And YES I wanted reader to literally walk him like a dog. Like at this moment she does not care about him at all.

[the-unseenone]

I am having seasonal sadness and despair and such a rough time lately and do you know what will fix me? Being in the middle of Matt and dex. Ahhhhh them hate fucking each other and me being along for the ride.

Snapping at one another while they coo at you. Matt fully condescending and dex a little mean but both full of affection. The both of them kissing each other full of teeth and malice and hate but they cant hate you, you are sweet. What they can do however is fuck you until you cant see which way is up. Competitive about which one of them brings you the most pleasure. Which one gives you the most orgasms. Which name you moan the loudest. And after they put you through the mattress. They go at each other. Gotta tire that stamina somehow.

[the-unseenone]

pt3 of this Dex being his own warning, freak4freak?, reader is kinda into his stalking or at least doesn’t mind it. Reader is implied to have a sort of bad relationship with her mom or at least something is wrong.

Well. If this sudden trip has done you anything, then it is reminding you of the reason why you don’t visit your mother for long periods of time. She tries, bless her heart, to make conversation with you, her and your stepfather. But it is very evident that things are quite awkward. But that has been the norm since you were thirteen. You don’t think things would get better.

you are not your mothers only daughter. You are not her gentlest. You remind her too much of your father and that, however much she loves you, is a thing that the both of you never got over. It is also because of that incident, but you don’t want to wander too much down memory lane.

your stepfather is a kind, gentle bear of a man. With the protective instincts and the stature to back it up as well. The both of you are not close. By the time he came into your life, you were done with fathers. He just settles on supporting you from afar, where the both of you are comfortable.

Your biological sister is resentful of you. She does not hate you, she is not a hateful creature, that is you, she is a lot like your mother in that regard. Non of your sisters are capable of hate, you absorbed all of the hateful genes in the womb and left them with nothing. So she just resents you for knowing a father she never knew and one that not you and neither your mother a willing to talk about. Whenever she sees you now, she is full of snide remarks. You don’t blame her really. She is a teenager. You were her age once.

your youngest sister, however, is a joy. Aptly named joy, for the feeling she brought you when you first saw her. Your mother was insistent that you name her, for whatever reason. She is the only thing that makes the awkwardness worth it. When she first saw you pulling up the drive way, she ran out and started running up and down the lawn, happily shouting your arrival. When you got out of the car, she started looking at your hands wondering about her gift. She is spoiled. This is all your fault. But you cant say no to her. Your joy. She is four and so full of energy. Talking your ear off about this and that. You listen to her, giving her your full attention. She sits in your lap after opening her toy, telling you all about her friends in kindergarten. About how she likes this boy in her class. And how they are learning numbers and colours and various things. She thinks you are the coolest person ever. Her big sister with the hard job and cool cloths and cool demeanour. She tells you all her friends are jealous of her because they don’t have a sister like her sister. She idolizes you in a way only a child can.

so, between a mother that doesn’t know what to do with you, a stepfather that is more of a cool uncle than a parental figure, a sister that resents you and another that thinks the world of you, dinners a kinda of an awkward affair. Filled with stiff attempts at small talk and small remarks from your teenage sister. But mostly silence. And when silence happens, your mother panics and to fill the void she asks

”so, have you met someone special yet?”

That. Question.

in your minds eye, you see Benjamin. Him following you and watching you and being mesmerized by you. you have to physically keep yourself from smiling. Someone special indeed.

you continue to chew slowly as they all look at you, waiting.

”no.”

your mother nods, disappointed but not surprised. Your teenage sister mutters “loser” under her breath. It is your stepfather that offers words of comfort.

“That is okay. You shouldn’t rush into those things. You should find someone that suits you.”

”no one is going to be as cool as you are.” Your little sister chimes in.

you smile at her, ruffling her hair.

you are an awkward fit in that family. Like a piece of the puzzle that came from another set.

Later in the kitchen, you are putting the dishes away with your stepfather. Your mother is off kitchen duty forever, since she almost burned the house down when you where seventeen. The silence with him is not uncomfortable. The both of you are creatures of not many words. But you can tell he is psyching himself up to tell you something. You give him time. He clears his throat.

”so,”

your hum, indicating that you are giving him your attention as you are toweling the plate dry.

”your sister has been having a hard time lately. She has been fighting with your mother about…” he pauses,”you know. The usual. I was wondering if it is finally time to tell her.”

you put the dish down and it makes a sharp sound as it it hits the counter, you turn to look at him and he nervously looks back at you,

“You know fully well why we don’t do that.”

He nods “she has the right to know.”

“No.”

after that, you cut the visit short. What was supposed to be a five day visit end in three. And as you drive Benjamin’s car back to your apartment, you wonder what has he been up to when you were gone.

when you open the door to your apartment, you find it to be in disarray. Furniture upturned, vases broken, books on the ground(that one made a little anger spike). You see men’s shoes in the door way and you recognize them as his. Benjamin’s. You keep your shoes on because of the glass as you make your way to your bedroom. As you stand in the door way, you see him sleeping in your bed. Shirtless. He has his head buried in your pillow. The longer you look the more you are intrigued. But you are mostly just hungry so you make your way back to the kitchen to make yourself some food.

You are sitting in your table mid chew when you start feeling an ominous presence behind you. You swallow your food and go to take another bite but you are rudely jerked back in your chair and turned around. Your line of sight falls directly into a set of abs. You crane your neck high until you can lock eyes with your assailant. His hair is a mess. His under eyes are dark and his eyes are red rimmed. Mostly he looks very pissed off. you, however, are not paying much attention to that.

“You left me.” He says with barely contained rage.

“I didnt like the way you were talking to me.” You answer back distractedly.

“You left me. I didn’t know where you are.” He borderline yells, standing to his full height. You guess it is a reflex to make himself more intimidating. You haven’t been able to feel intimidated by men for a long time.

”i don’t like being yelled at. You should fix that tone.”

his face cracks. He looks a you with a mix of emotions that are hard to decipher. Rage, sadness, madness, fear. Mostly fear.

You guess this is what this is about. He was afraid. But you are not sure from what. You decide to throw him a bone.

You take his hand in yours. Intertwining your fingers together. His breath shutters at the touch.

”i was at my mother’s.” You sigh, rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb. “You are allowed to go there. By the way.”

he looks raw. Like a wound that was aggravated. You look at him, which is becoming difficult for your neck. You tug at his hand.

”come here.”

You were meaning for him to sit in the chair next to you. But he falls to his knees in front of you. Your breath hitches and your heart skips a beat. You decide breathlessly that yeah, this could also do.

You bring a hand to his cheek. Bringing him closer to you. And he comes willingly. He nuzzles the hand in his face while never letting go of the hand in his own. You pet him a little. Moving his hair away from his sweaty, flushed face. he looks very vulnerable. Like any small movement and he will break.

In all this time, you realize, you weren’t actually taking a very good look at him. He is handsome. You knew that already, but now that he is this close, you realize that he is handsome in a way that you very much appreciate. You have never seen him shirtless before as well. He is very big. His shoulder are very broad and his arms. You can definitely appreciate these arms.

he suddenly leans forward, burying his head in you chest. His arms wrap around you and your legs have no option but fall open to accommodate his build. Your arms stay useless at your sides in your surprise.

”you left me and I didn’t know where you were.”he mutters in your chest, voice so so quiet and small.

You sigh, bringing your hands to wrap around him. You pet his hair and he whimpers like he is in pain. He squeezes you harder to him. You think your chest is beginning to feel vaguely wet.

He is very big indeed. His biceps are so very strong.

Huh, you think to yourself, has he always been this muscular?

I accidentally deleted this twice and had to write it from scratch, twice.

My inbox is open if you wanna chat.

[the-unseenone]

STALKER!DEX POSTS ARE SO GOOD OH MY GOD sorry for yelling but they're sooo !!!!! fun to read and i hope were fun to write too it's such an interesting dynamic and reader as a character too (even though they're not fully fleshed out of course cause it's not a long post/fanfic) but i enjoy it a lot!!! wishing you tons of inspiration to hopefully write more!! do you have any ideas where the story might go next??

TIWVWIWVW THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE SO KIND.

It is fun to write because I am procrastinating while I write it. I am so glad you like it. Currently, they are not fully fleshed out because they are musings in my brain. I guess down the line I would write a full length fic or two but for now it will just be vignettes because I also lowkey have commitment issues. As for where will it go, honestly I have no idea. Both reader and Benjamin are taking my hand and atp I am just a voyeuristic third😂😂. So we will see.

[the-unseenone]

Pt2 of this, Dex is his own warning. Reader is into his brand of freak, she is also kind of a freak, he is a little pathetic in this ngl.

When he asks you out, you don’t say yes to him immediately. A huge part of it is the stalking part. But really it is the fact that you don’t really do that. Dating.

the thing is, you are a creature ruled by routines. You enjoy doing the same things that you always do. But also, you are easily bored. So you decide to toy with him a little. Dropping subtle hints here and there that you know about his stalking, only to watch him get a little tense about it. It’s nothing much, at least not enough to confirm or deny your knowledge.

You make him work for it for a bit. And eventually you say, eh what the hell and agree to a date.

You realize it is a balancing act. Dating Benjamin. You need to keep track of what you tell him and play dumb when he brings up a fact about you that you haven't told him. Also you have to guess what he knows about you. All of these make for a fun evening out. So far, he took you to your favourite restaurant. You told him that this place is one you frequent, he pauses and then smiles at you, telling you that it is one of the best spots in town. A few more incidents like this occur. So you decide to make a game out of it.

You tell him that you hate the Pitt(it’s your favourite show) and watch him frown in confusion. You watched and rewatched that show to oblivion.

when he orders you a strawberry milkshake, you tell him that you are allergic to strawberries.(it’s your preferred drink.)

when he asks you about the the book your are reading you tell him you don’t read that genre of books.

you can tell he is beginning to fell a little frustrated, so you do something to take the edge off. You kiss him on the cheek when he stops by your apartment door after one of your dates.

he wears a dopey smile for days after that.

It is right around that time you begin to realize that he craves praise and approval.

So you start running an experiment.

On the days that he starts watching you more, you become short with him. You don’t give him smiles and you don’t greet him at the elevator. No wearing the outfits that you know he likes. No cute designs or frills or low cut tops. You don’t even look at him at all.

but on the days that he doesn’t do the usual stalking, you are all smiles. You talk to him, invite him to your coffee run, you hug him when you see him. You even touch his arm and chest. Giving him a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

he is not stupid. He begins to put two and two together. So he behaves a little more.

his need for your approval becomes the center of every type of act that he does to you. Sometimes he cooks you food and waits for you to eat it. Watching your expression for every minute change. You think it's kind of endearing that he does that. He brings you flowers. Fixes his behavior, self correcting based on your unconscious feedback.

That one coworker that won't leave you alone left you alone finally. Although you don't have any proof that he did it. The coworker, Dan, hit on you right in front of him when he came to pick you up from work. You watched as his expression changed slowly to frigid. As he came up to you and give you a kiss on the temple, introducing himself as your boyfriend. You haven't given him permission to do that yet. Matter of fact, you haven't even said I love you to him. Not to mention being his girlfriend. But you can make allowances.

You guess that it is a simple matter of opinion, but you have come to think of him as a large feral cat that you picked up from the street. Mean and standoffish to outsiders, sweet and lovely to you. And just like cats are, he started doing things that annoy you. Some of it,like installing a tracker on your car and in your phone, very fixable. You just find them and remove them. You can consider that pretty harmless. What you don't like is the fact that he yelled at you because you had to get out of dinner because of an emergency at work. That has never happened before at your job so to your stalker who knows your schedule, it will look like you are trying to get away from him. You let him know that you don’t like the way he is behaving and you take his car and go. You decide it is a good idea to go visit your mother early now. Sure you don’t have clothes or anything, but you can buy them. you are gone for three days.

My inbox is open, you can send asks!

pt 3

[the-unseenone]

Dex being his own warning, reader knows he is stalking her but acting none the wiser matter of fact she might be a little into it, suggestive?

Sometimes, when you concentrate hard enough, you can ignore his eyes on you.

You cannot exactly pinpoint the moment you became aware of him. He is not bad at it, stalking you, that is. It's just that you are very good at pattern recognition. It is part of why you will always have job security. It is also because that you are very rigid about your routine and the people that occupy your space on a regular basis. Still, it was a little jarring when he suddenly just... appeared in your periphery. You are sure he did not just spawn out of nowhere. The level of comfort that he operates at indicates a will oiled routine that was followed. But to you it was like he was not here one day and here the next.

You are not sure how to proceed with this whole thing. It's not like you can go to the police, he has not done anything to you nor approached you at all. No threatening messages, no weird gestures and no headless rats. He is just there. Sitting on the opposite side, out of your view at you favorite cafe. Down the street from your work place. And across the street from your window at your home. And side of a few things moving from their original place, He doesn't do anything so you leave him be.

It goes on like that for a while, you following your established routine of going out of your apartment, getting coffee, heading to work, clocking out of work, grocery shopping and heading home. All with the anonymous man following you around. If he was not actively stalking you, you would have been impressed that he is not bored at the fact that you do nothing at all. You even start to get a little comfortable at his presence. Finding comfort at the fact the he is always there and eventually he is part of your routine. You even say a little good morning to him in your head when you get out of your building and see him across the street. All is well in your little life.

That is until you see him in the elevator leading up to your apartment.

Up until now, you have not seen his face at all. he is always out of view, that is by design of course, so you don't know what he looks like. But you have familiarized yourself with him enough to recognize the way he stands, his height and built anywhere. The man that is stalking you is in the same elevator as you and he pressed the same button that you pressed. He is blond.

You give him a little nod and he smiles at you, all charming and sweet, he introduces himself as Benjamin, your new across the hall neighbor.

You ask him about what happened to the previous tenant. He tells you that he doesn't know. You nod and exit the elevator.

The thing is about the place you live is that it is in a remote area out of the city. You picked it that way because you get overstimulated by the sound of the city. The second thing is, it only has two apartments. You and your previous neighbors who kept to himself. Your landlord doesn't live on the property. You are in a building alone with your stalker. So that leaves you with quite the dilemma.

Oh well.

Benjamin is a very quiet person. Aside from the fact that he is stalking you, he is actually the perfect guy. Charming, intelligent, delightful. It is just that...you know.... he is a stalker. You haven't brought it up yet because, really, how to you bring that up?'thank you so much for helping me bring up by groceries, oh by the way, I know that you follow me everywhere.' You think that would put a damper on things so you just drop it. You also asked the landlord about your previous neighbor, he just tell you that the guy suddenly skipped town.

You also change in front of the open window now, when you know for a fact that he is there. So there is that. In your defense, you are a little bored and it not that you are fully nude. You bought curtains that are shear for this exact reason. You think that with all of the monotony in your life the guy kinda deserves some excitement.

You start noticing that his eyes linger on your frame more whenever the both of you cross paths in the elevator. Which is a lot. On your arms and your chest. A lot on your waist as well.

You don't think anything will come out of it. So you just settle on some light stripping and nothing else. And soon. It is also a routine.

That is until he asks you out.

pt 2

[the-unseenone]

Frank Langdon vs the fact that everyone thinks med student!gf is fake.

He knows that he had a rough time after the divorce and he knows that he spent the time after his divorce just dating to no point until he gave up. But the way that everyone is acting after he told them that he is dating someone, not to mention her being in med school, is ridiculous.

he honestly thought that everyone would give him hell for the med school part. But no. It was because you look like you are a goddess sent from heaven.

he gets that, most times he also thinks that he was incredibly lucky to get you. You made him work for it. Asking you more times than he can count and making him chase you. Trying to time his outings with the time that you come or go from the apartment building that the both of you share. Your girlfriends/roommates giving him looks. He was over the moon when he made you his girl.

What's even worse is that Ahmed had made a betting pool as to where the picture of you he showed them came from.

Random girl from Pinterest. santos and Javadi.

A girl that his mother tried to set him up with before. Princess and perlah (because that one time they overheard a conversation with his mom.)

Abbott and Robby took a more old school approach. An escort.

He even has to contend with the side eyes they give him when he tells them that he is going to take you on a date. Robby even going as far as to pat him on the shoulder. "Sure you are, buddy."

You, on the other hand, find it hilarious. You give him a kiss and a pat on the head, telling him it can't be helped. You are unbelievably hot. He hate to agree.

He gets so used to it that he doesn’t even think about it when he invites you to the get together after work with his colleagues. Its just him with Robby and Garcia as he sips his soda, he tells them that you are coming, and as per usual they start their usual jeering.

That is until you call his name from across the bar, dressed in your usual attire, high heels and a miniskirt. You come to him and kiss him on the cheek. Your presence making him dopey with love. He turns to introduce you to his company, only to find them gobsmacked.

You smile sweetly at them, shaking their hand and greeting them. you laugh and joke and they feel comfortable enough to share with you that they thought you didn’t exist. and that frank made you up.

Eventually, When frank gets up to get you a drink, your sweet smile drops and you pin them to their seats with your sharp gaze.

“I thought fully fledged doctor didn’t act like highschoolers.” You hum,”guess I was wrong. all of you were bullying him like a clique.”

you think that at least they had the sense to feel guilty being being shamed by someone younger than them. But you don’t look sweet and nice anymore, you have a look about you now.

Shark-like.

You lean back in you seat like you own the place, and you tell them that you would appreciate it if they keep the whole relationship thing to themselves. You like your business to stay your business. They nod as you stand up, and they watch as all semblance of the person that stared them down disappear and your smile come up.

you go meet Langdon half way. Pressing a kiss to his lips.

And they just think,

what the hell was that.

Want more? Click here

[the-unseenone]

Frank Langdon vs med student!gf but it's really him vs the finals week!you.

He thought he was intense when he was in med school but he still had time to go out and he his friends from time to time.

You, however, are a different beast entirely.

No really, it's like you turn into a monster whenever an exam is involved.

He knew that he would have to resign to see you only a few times whenever it is your finals week when he started dating you. You told him that up front. It is one of the things that comes with the territory of dating someone still in college. But he did not realize that he would not see your face for like two weeks before finals.

Appearntly you have a ritual where you don't go out and limit phone time to a minimum.

You study so hard it makes him a little worried sometimes. But his worrying is for not, because as you told him when he brought it up, you are not stupid to waste time in the hospital because you are not hydrating enough. You take care of yourself and your diet when you study and you take breaks. There is no time for distractions.

It's almost impressive. The way your study schedule is structured and how efficient it is.

Almost because he, as you told him when you are lying on him after very satisfying sex, is a distraction. And you won't be seeing him for the foreseeable future. And you are sorry but it will have to be this way. And you will make it up to him very thoroughly.

He thought you were joking.

You were not.

He gets so sad when you have your finals week. So sad and dejected in fact, that his coworkers pick up on it, knowing that you are studying now.

Abbot pats him on the shoulder and tells him to stay strong.

He still sends you voice notes filled with encouragement, and you call him whenever you can. But it is still not enough for him.

You make the wait very worth it though, because after you finish, you ride him until he can't see straight.

Want more? Click here.

[the-unseenone]

frank Langdon vs. Med student!gf who uses him to revise for the male anatomy.

He tries to stay still but you are touching him everywhere. You even made a little disinterested “huh” when he got hard in the first minute that his pants came off.

worst part is that you are a hands on, visual learner. So your face is very close to his cock and your breath is hitting him and he cant take it anymore. you got hand on his lower abdomen a while ago because he couldn’t keep his hips still.

he is trying to be good for you. He really is but you are making it really hard but acting like he is not there. Muttering under your breath the anatomical names of the male reproductive system. It doesn’t help that you are very smart, that’s what attracted him to you in the first place. You keep shallowly using your fingers to touch structures and if he doesn’t know any better, he would think that you are doing this on purpose.

god help him because you are driving him crazy, and if he comes basically untouched from this, he hopes you wont judge him too hard.

[the-unseenone]

He offered to. You did not ask him. He thought it would be a sexy idea but you just remained focused and didn't even show a hint of anything.

He wish he could say he regrets it.

[the-unseenone]

frank Langdon vs. Med student!gf who uses him to revise for the male anatomy.

He tries to stay still but you are touching him everywhere. You even made a little disinterested “huh” when he got hard in the first minute that his pants came off.

worst part is that you are a hands on, visual learner. So your face is very close to his cock and your breath is hitting him and he cant take it anymore. you got hand on his lower abdomen a while ago because he couldn’t keep his hips still.

he is trying to be good for you. He really is but you are making it really hard by acting like he is not there. Muttering under your breath the anatomical names of the male reproductive system. It doesn’t help that you are very smart, that’s what attracted him to you in the first place. You keep shallowly using your fingers to touch structures and if he doesn’t know any better, he would think that you are doing this on purpose.

god help him because you are driving him crazy, and if he comes basically untouched from this, he hopes you wont judge him too hard.

[the-unseenone]

Just the thought of you and Langdon making out and he is so worked up over it!

Maybe it has been awhile, a long while since was in the dating scene and he is out of how he is supposed to act or maybe it is because you made him work for it so hard until you said yes to him dating you or maybe this is the first serious makeout session that you are allowing. All of these could be factors on why he is losing his mind as you sit on his lap and kissing his neck.

His heart is beating in his ears and he cant really think, it's like you turned his brain into mush. His hands are permanently glued to your waist, where you put them. You are dressed for a night in, tank top and little sinful satin shorts that really leave nothing to the imagination. He fully thinks that you wore it to torture him, and now that you are sitting directly over where his dick is situated in his pants, feeling how hot you are over him, he is certain.

You kiss him for so long that he has to pull away from you even if he doesn't want to. you don't stop, you kiss his nose, his cheeks and down his jaw while murmuring about how beautiful he is.

"You are blushing so pretty frank." You say between kisses."it makes me want to bite you."

His hips jump at that, desperately seeking friction. You laugh out loud, hands coming up at the nap of his neck, pulling at the hairs slightly.

"Sorry" he barely has the brain cells to apologize.

You hum, hands coming down to his neck, squeezing slightly, down to his chest, his stomach and resting low on his abdomen.

"You are so worked up from a few kisses?" You tease and he somehow feels the blood rushing up his neck and cheeks and up to his ears.

"It's been a while." He mumbles, and you coo at him like he is something precious.

"Poor baby," you say kindly, "you are so hard." You kiss his cheek and his other cheek and finally kiss his lips, you don't hesitate with it. Your kiss feels all consuming and he loses himself at the taste of you.

hands bracing on his shoulders. You start moving your hips slowly. he feels his brain leak out of his ears. The pleasure is rushing up his spine like an electric shock and a moan tumbles out of him before he can stop it, swallowed by your greedy lips.

"Feels good?" You ask, not stopping your movements. And all he can do is shake his head. He can't find it in himself to talk.

"You are so cute frank,"You giggle at him, your movement not stopping, you look at him with such intensity he wants to hide. The problem is he can't bring himself to close his eyes because you look so breathtaking.

He groans, Yolanda was right.

You are going to eat him alive.

[the-unseenone]

We see you.

Summary: in the ER, constant noise and constant movement is to be expected. You stand under the fluorescent lights and you notice the little things and the little moments. You try to help them see it too.

Alternatively: an expansion of this.

A/n: I got invaded by the brain worms.

Robby really did not want to be here.

He doesn't really mean the ER, but he also means the ER. The hospital is also a place he doesn't want to be in, nor does he want to be having a pointless conversation/with Gloria and he definitely does not want to be here today of all days. He finds himself not wanting a lot of things lately, and he definitely doesn't want to be here, or anywhere for that matter.

He shows up nonetheless.

"You are always telling me how short staffed you are and how swamped thing get in here, now that I am bringing you a solution, you object?" Gloria tilts her head, brows furrowed, like this is unreasonable, like he is unreasonable.

"I told you to hire more nurses, not bring in another attending." Robby shoots back, grabbing a tablet from the stand at the nurses’ station. His grip is tighter than it needs to be. He wants this conversation over. Yesterday.

He doesn't get what he wants. Never does.

"She was the best in her program and she did a year of surgery interning before she switch to emergency medicine. She is very smart and she will help you plenty."

A laugh tumbles out of him before he can stop it, Dana glances over, one eyebrow raised.

"you are singing her praises."

He tries to walk away but she stands infront of him, regarding him with a serious expression.

"When have you ever known me to do that? She is good and she will be helpful."

"No one told me about this."

"Well, I am telling you now. today is her first day." She informs him, walking away,"and for the love of god, try to up those patient satisfaction rates."

"How can I do that when we don't have enough nurses." He calls after her.

He already can feel a headache forming behind his eyes and as he stands near the nurses station, Dana is watching him again, that look she gets when she thinks she’s figured something out. He knows this day will be a problem, he just knows it.

"What?" He snaps irritably.

"Nothing." She says, lifting her hand up in surrender,"it is just that you're very worked up about this."

"Its ridiculous, with the salary that they paid her they could have hired more nurses and we would be better off." He says, rubbing his nose bridge.

Dana hums unimpressed."do you really believe that or are you just mad you weren’t asked?"

He feels the heat rising up his neck, and his head pounds harder,

"do you know where abbot is, we need to do the rounds."

Dana laughs softly, shaking her head,"he's out for fresh air."

"Thanks." He says, walking away."page me when the newbie comes?"

"You know it."

Robby doesn’t wait for Dana to say anything else. He’s already moving, already done with the fluorescent lights, the noise, the constant pull of voices, and it's not even the middle of the day yet. The ER feels louder today, sharper, like every sound is angled straight at his skull.

He takes the elevator, he looks at the number of floors going up as he ponders this whole thing, a new attending. Someone he does not know is in his ER. Someone he has to watch out for and to watch, to anticipate any mistakes that they could do.

The elevator dings and he is pulled out of his thoughts.

He goes to the exit leading up the roof and takes the stairs. His knee aches and he morns the age where he didn't have such problems bothering him at all.

The door to the roof slams behind him as he takes the view, the air is cooler. Quieter. The city stretches out in front of him, washed in early light. For a second, it almost feels like space to breathe.the sun rising up and the clouds in the sky.

Also, the view of his friend on the edge behind the safety fence.

"Morning, jack." He calls out. And the man turns to glance at him from over his shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" Jack asks. Hands in his pockets. Robby mirrors him.

"I am working, and you?"

"Oh I don't know, had a guy coming in, hit by a drunk driver on the cross walk, 39 year old vet. Survived three tours without a scratch. I spent the last two hours coding him."

This kind of thing always puts jack on edge, brings him back to the days that he thinks are behind him. Robby sees these small reminders and they always grind on him.

"That's always a rough way to end the night."

"I must've had a reason at one time to keep coming back, I can't think of it right now." he sighs, defeated, leaning slightly to the front.

"Because this is the job that keeps on giving....Nightmares, ulcers, suicidal tendencies." Robby says the last one pointedly and jack scoffs.

“Besides,” Robby adds, “if you jump on my shift, that’s just rude.”

Jack sigh deeply crossing back to the other side of the fence"I hope I am never one of your patients."

"That makes two of us, my friend."

…………………………………………

The elevator hums as it descends, the kind of low mechanical vibration that settles into your bones if you stand still long enough. Robby doesn’t. He shifts his weight from one leg to the other, jaw tight, eyes fixed on the glowing numbers ticking down. The are in the middle of discussing cases when his pager rings, he groans loud enough to cut abbot off in his talking

"What?" Jack asks. And Robby shakes his head,

"A new attending is starting today." He grunts out,"Gloria hired her to help you and me with the case loads when I said we are short staffed."

"What, instead of nurses? How does that make sense." Jack scoffs

"Tell me about it. She just blind sided me this morning."

"That is tough luck for you." Abbot coos."you also have the new med students and interns starting today."

"Lucky, Lucky me."

Dana spots them immediately. Of course she does. She always does.

“There you are,” she calls, not looking up from the chart she’s holding. “Your new attending is here.”

Robby slows, something in his chest tightening ,not anticipation, not even irritation. Something sharper. Like bracing for something bad to happen.

“Great,” he mutters, not meaning it.

And then...

He sees you.

You’re standing near the nurses’ station, posture relaxed but not careless, like you belong in the space without needing to prove it. Few things jump at him from quickly glancing at you. Chief among them is how young you are to be a fully fledged attending and the second...

How much you don't belong.

You are wearing a white coat, your hair pulled back, not a strand out of place despite the humidity of the place. You are wearing a button down and pants, and…

Heels.

You are wearing heels in the ER.

Beside him, abbot stops walking. No slowing down just abruptly stops. Robby half turns to look at him and the look on Jacks face makes him do a double take.

In all the years that Michael Robinavitch knew Jack Abbot, he never seen such a look on his face.

He looks like he has seen a dead person walking.

"It's not possible." Jack breaths. Voice nearly gone.

"What's up with you?" Robby asks. But Jack ignores him and starts walking again and he has no choice but play catch up. You turn around, and he has to brace himself a bit because you are breathtaking, your face takes him out of the room for a bit and he can't focus on anything. Your eyes catch the light in a way that feels intentional, even when it shouldn’t be. Your features are almost too symmetrical.

Robby forgets, briefly, where he is.

You push your glasses up and everything comes back into focus. He has to shake his head a bit to regain his grip on himself.

You introduce yourself and your voice is melodic, it brings him back and grounds him to this moment. Abbot startles beside him,

"How are you here?" Jack asks you.

You turn your attention to him and ask,

"what?"

"You look exactly like her, only that is not possible because I knew her as two decades ago and she is dead." Jack rambles, which is how Robby knows this is serious because abbot never rambles. You watch him carefully. And then you nod, unbothered,

“Oh,” you say softly. “You’re thinking of my mother, Dr. Abbott. She was the second of her name.” A small, almost amused smile curves your lips. “I’m the third.”

The words settle strangely in the air.

"You two look the same."

"Yeah I get that a lot, my mother had the same reaction with her mother before her. I guess all of my family looks the same." You laugh. Jack looks like he wants to say more but she looks away.

You turn to Robby then, your attention shifting seamlessly, as if nothing about that exchange was unusual.

"Are we going to do rounds now because I want to talk to you about a few things."

and he had to snap himself out of whatever is happening to him,

"Uh- yeah sure." He mutters, "are you sure you're up for this, taking on the schedule that you have? Can you handle it?"

You smile, close lipped but still radiant, and look between the two of them, god you are so beautiful, the thought almost startles him because oh how much it doesn’t belong.

"I am sure," you hum, walking until you are right between them, the smell of you hits his nostrils and he his momentary taken aback by it,

You glance between them, eyes bright, something playful flickering beneath the surface.

"the question is can the both of you handle me?"

Yeah this is going to be a long shift.

[the-unseenone]

Piggybacking off of this

They start avoiding you but for different reasons:

Robby avoids you because you seem to have a second sense of where to find him. Like really he hasn't put that much effort in avoiding someone since his interning days and he still somehow fails??

He starts to realize that you don't forget anything and you somehow know what he needs. The both of you together are a unit.

He starts getting uncomfortable with how... calm you are. Things that rattle him don't even leave anything on you. You don't flinch at gore, you don't let chaos take your cool and you definitely don't let anyone mess up your grove.

But the last straw was when you started to perceive him too much. When he starts spiraling, you just stand there and give him a snack and talk to him about the most absurd things and whatever caused him to lose it just becomes secondary because what the fuck are you talking about.

Every. Single. Time he felt that way you just know and that makes him incredibly uncomfortable.

Abbot starts avoiding you because he can't reconcile that you look like the love of his life too much. The fact that you talk and you have the same mannerisms.

You look and somewhat act like her but you are not her. You are different, he learned that in the first few days he was on the floor with you. Your...mother was jaded, cynical and very serious. You on the other hand...

Are very silly and fun.

You throw jokes around with Ellis, you give Shen the best clap backs he has ever heard and the random jokes and facts you throw around causally while you are elbow deep in someone's guts are jarring and actually funny.

Still when he met her, your mother, she changed his life. So much so that he started categorizing things in his head before her and after her.

You are not her, but you look like her and it's messing with his head.

Both are cowards but they admit that to no one but themselves.

[the-unseenone]

Something something about a new auxiliary attending hired by Gloria to help night shift and day shift and she flirts with abbot and Robby. But she is just...wrong.

Something something about her looking exactly like the woman Abbot knew from his military days when he was half his current age, his colleague and fellow medic, but that's not possible, because the woman in front of him right now right now is in her late twenties, just like his fellow medic was.

Uncanny, slightly horrifying and terrifying that she tells him "no doctor abbot, you are thinking of my mother, second of her name, I am the third of my name"

Same name, Same mannerisms yet you insist that you two are different people. after all, how is it that you are fifty but look twenty. That is not possible.

Right?

[the-unseenone]

She works half nights and half on the day shift, and in any of these days she works a double shift. And in those days of the double shift she is positively glowing. Not a hair out of place, no sweaty greasy look. Clothes are perfect. She does not look tired or stressed or anything. And everyone side eyes her for that.

[the-unseenone]

Something something about a new auxiliary attending hired by Gloria to help night shift and day shift and she flirts with abbot and Robby. But she is just...wrong.

Something something about her looking exactly like the woman Abbot knew from his military days when he was half his current age, his colleague and fellow medic, but that's not possible, because the woman in front of him right now right now is in her late twenties, just like his fellow medic was.

Uncanny, slightly horrifying and terrifying that she tells him "no doctor abbot, you are thinking of my mother, second of her name, I am the third of my name"

Same name, Same mannerisms yet you insist that you two are different people. after all, how is it that you are fifty but look twenty. That is not possible.

Right?