yellowing pages

[the-yellowing-pages]

You told me you loved me but you kissed her tonight.

Me

[the-yellowing-pages]

We are all so frantic about going to where we should be heading that we forget how to truly live. Be human, not a zombie.

[the-yellowing-pages]

I have always wondered how it felt to be irrevocably in love with someone.

[the-yellowing-pages]

Thy fingers and letters

I couldn’t tell you what it is that made me run away from your warm arms and reassuring words

Maybe I knew I did not deserve to be touched by thy fingers and letters.

[the-yellowing-pages]

I hope words can be a panacea

I tell you I’m sorry and you will forget.

But it doesn’t work like that at all, sometimes just a word kills.

And you had bloodlust only for my pain, you murdered me and it was a genocide of my totality.

But now, I beg you My dear, give me Give me your love And all of me will be cured, I promise.

[the-yellowing-pages]

How can you do that so easily? Loving me then leaving me at once. I hope I can do that someday, and you"ll know how it sucks.

Him

[the-yellowing-pages]

Why can't you leave me alone? I do not deserve your love. I am as selfish as an infant not wanting to share his toys or a politician depriving his constituents of their rights. It is not my thing to share anymore, I keep doing this to all the man who tried to make me theirs. I give up, I never learned.

[the-yellowing-pages]

A Dead Letter

People ask me about you and the weak self in me, runs away at an inkling and hide. I do not know what makes me think it's okay for me not to talk to you because sometimes I don't even care yet I do. I care that I do not have the strength to talk to you and tell you what I have been doing for the past months but I just can't.

[the-yellowing-pages]

Pages

Books let me enjoy the illusion of good life, people and true love. I gave up looking for these in the real world.

[llvnos]

When they ask me about my future wife, I always tell them that her eyes are the only Christmas lights that deserve to be seen all year long. I tell them that she has a walk that can make an atheist believe in God just long enough to say, ‘God damn’. I tell them that if my alarm clock sounded like her voice, my snooze button would collect dust. I tell them that if she came in a bottle, I would drink her until my vision is blurry and my friends take away my keys. I tell them that if she was a book, I would memorize her table of contents. I would read her, cover to cover, hoping to find typos, just so we could both have something to work on, because aren’t we all unfinished? Don’t we all need editing? Aren’t we all waiting to be read by someone, praying they will tell us that we make sense? She doesn’t always make sense but I swear to God, her imperfections are the things that I love about her the most. I don’t know when I will be married, I don’t know where I will be married, but I do know this: whenever I’m asked to describe my future wife, I do so as best as I can and every single time, she sounds a lot like you. Every single time, she sounds a lot like you.

Rudy Francisco, “A Lot Like You”  (via ding-ang-bato)

[the-yellowing-pages]

Dreams

My dreams consisted of you walking away from me step by step and they send me full of tears the next day But you, like those drops I wept, I can never get you back

[the-yellowing-pages]

Do you actually think I’m okay?

[the-yellowing-pages]

Like the first time

If you knew beforehand that this would happen, would you have talked to me like the first time?

[the-yellowing-pages]

I was supposed to make you happy. You pushed me away and cried.

[the-yellowing-pages]

Her

I see her everyday. In mirrors, in puddles or in windows, I get a glimpse at her. Yet even now, I cannot describe in her great detail.

[the-yellowing-pages]

Somehow, we met in many ways uncounted.

Maybe I was in your periphery and you turned back the second I glanced at your place.

Maybe I was within your earshot and you plugged in your earphones the second I broke my silence and spoke.

Maybe I was in the same place with you and you left abruptly the second after I was in the seat you just left.

Somehow, we met but time always, always set us apart. We were so close yet so far.

[the-yellowing-pages]

Our Struggle

I am a shark. I am attracted to blood, so I developed love for people who are in pain.

Blood, from hearts that cut open from an excruciating cause, sends me running.

Because they who experienced it and continues to thrive are real victorious.

They see and know how it feels like so they understand.

They keep an open mind because they did not use their for a single moment in their life.

They are survivors, Nobody knows their struggle- Our struggle.